Walking the Grief Journey Together on International Widows Day and Every Day

Walking the Grief Journey Together on International Widows Day and Every Day

Lynzy Savage, Surviving Spouse of Cpl William Savage, The Royal Regiment of Scotland

My life changed when I lost my husband in 2013. Almost eight months pregnant when Sav was killed in Afghanistan, I had our son Connor four weeks after his funeral. I was grieving my husband while learning to be a new mum all at once. 

I first attended a TAPS event in 2019, when Connor was 5 years old. Getting involved with TAPS opened so many doors for us as a family and introduced us to new people who endured similar losses. In 2022, I attended an event with teams4taps — led by Diana Hosford — in Scotland with the Rangers Football Club. There, I was introduced to Major Karen Tait MBE, who runs the British military charity FAB, Families Activity Breaks. Both Diana and Karen brought together two families from the U.K. and the U.S., creating this wonderful event. We had the most amazing weekend doing wonderful things and sharing our experiences, honouring our loved ones in such special ways.

Not long after the event, I became involved with FAB, both as a surviving family member — along with Connor, and thereafter as the committee’s fundraising and merchandise lead. Through this amazing FAB and TAPS partnership, I have been able to share my story with others and learn the stories of so many other women who have lost their husbands or significant others. Finding people who understand your grief and having that peer support is priceless. Whether attending a FAB camp in the U.K. or the TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar in Washington, D.C., the peer support is always there. We’ve all suffered a loss — not always in the same circumstances, but to me, circumstance is only part of the story. The loss is what brings us together. It’s what we all share.

Twelve years into my grief journey, I feel that I’m in a position to be able to give back and help others walking behind me, sadly starting their own grief journeys. Everyone’s grief is different, and we can never really know what someone is feeling, but being able to offer support and encouragement to others who are suffering like I have suffered — and still suffer now — it’s a great feeling. I know I wouldn’t be where I am today without the support of my peers. 

I feel very lucky to be part of the FAB team, which provides me with the space and support to reach others and develop the amazing partnership we have with TAPS. FAB has proudly welcomed TAPS families to their camp, and this summer, a TAPS family will travel to the U.K. for their second FAB camp. I’m excited to work alongside Karen and Diana to nurture the relationship between these two wonderful organisations. This partnership strengthens the bond between surviving families in the U.K. and the U.S. and serves as a reminder that grief is the common ground — the path we all walk — and the peer support we share with one another lights the way.