The Outhouse at Minus 23 Degrees Fahrenheit
Author: Benjamin Wolfe
Editor's Note: As the mercury rises and signs of rebirth and regrowth sprout up from the same ground that was cold and dormant just days ago, we turn our faces toward the sunshine and prepare for the warmth ahead of us. TAPS Advisory Board Member Benjamin Wolfe reminds us in the words that follow that there is no wrong time or place to reflect on our past experiences and prepare our hearts and minds for happiness ahead of us.
It’s warm inside the cabin with the wood stove roaring, and the thought of having to go outside to the outhouse is not real exciting. It is now minus 23°F outside, and it seems like a marathon run to the outhouse from the cabin. But, it is time! I get my hat on, gloves, now a jacket, and I take a big breath of warm air…I walk briskly to our outhouse — which is really not very far from the cabin. The wind is making the air feel a lot colder than it really is, but I will soon be in “enclosed” safety.
I think of Will Steger and Paul Schurke’s attitude when they went to the North Pole by dogsled in 1986, where the temperatures were hot at minus 23°F, and they didn’t have an outhouse to use. Now that is attitude. Each of us, for whatever reasons, follow different paths, and encounter different journeys. In the happiness we seek in life, we are reminded of the good things, but also of life’s struggles and disappointments.
For some, those disappointments are a crisis. Responding to a crisis is also dependent on our attitude. The Chinese symbol which represents crisis has two meanings, one reflecting danger, while the other represents opportunity.
I’m now inside the outhouse and it’s only minus 21°F on the wall thermometer. I can see my breath. Summer is all around me in the outhouse with our kayak and canoe paddles, and a few other things reminding me winter in Minnesota is about attitude. I now look at a Kemps ice cream container protecting the toilet paper, an important item when you have mice that spend more time in this facility than you do.
I hear our small lake moaning and groaning under the ice. This is not summer!
Outhouses allow for contemplation…I reflect on my past. Over 33 years ago, while in the Peace Corps for two years in South America, I had an outhouse. Another year in Micronesia with the Peace Corps, I had a unique outhouse suspended over the Pacific Ocean and open to the entire world. Then, my wife and I had an outhouse for four years while teaching and living on a small farm in Australia. Where have I been in life? Where am I now, and where am I going? These are all questions one can explore in any location and at any time, especially at minus 23°F.
Attitude is how we look at life — how we perceive the world to be, and the meaning we make of it. What are the gifts we receive, and what are the gifts we give? A 92-year-old woman once said when asked to explain happiness, “Old age is like a bank account…you withdraw from what you’ve put in. So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories.”
As I let my mind wander in the cold, I am reminded of how much I love the work I do and the gifts others provide me while walking with them on their journeys. I am honored, as are my colleagues, to hear patients’ and clients’ life stories, to hear of sadness, but also of wonderful relationships, and to see after a period of time, for many, transformation taking place. Someone once said there are five simple rules to be happy.
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.
Ah, time to head back to the cabin. When you consider your past, present, and future, remind yourself that life is about attitude. I wish you well on your contemplations, wherever they may be!
Reprinted with permission from Essential Health, St. Mary's Medical Center's Grief Support Center in Duluth, Minnesota.
Benjamin Wolfe, M.Ed., is a grief, loss, and transition trainer and a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker and Fellow in Thanatology. He shares his decades of experience with TAPS as a member of the TAPS Advisory Board.
Photos: Pixabay