Top Resolutions for the Grieving

Author: Paula Stephens

In 2010 I lost 150 pounds – true story. I lost 150 pounds that came from the deepest folds of my heart and radiated out into every fiber of my mind, body and spirit. What’s left of that weight sits in an urn on the table in my living room. My son Brandon.

Looking in Mirror

After that weight loss, losing that "last 5 pounds" or making New Year's resolutions based on vanity began to seem silly. Would I really be happier 5 pounds lighter, if my butt was tighter, my belly flatter or my arms more sculpted? Happier - no. More body satisfaction - probably. Overall quality of life satisfaction - probably not. Would I feel more love and belonging in my relationships - no. But, I would be smokin' hot! 

For the record, there is nothing wrong with these resolutions as long as you are clear on what you get for your efforts.

Here is an interesting grief twist on some top tips to strive for throughout 2016. 

1. I will lose the weight of expecting others to know how I feel and what I need. Instead, I will give voice to my journey and own my healing fully so that I may heal. 

2. I will stop smoking society's expectations that it's time to get over it and move on. Instead, I will be kind to myself and trust I know when it's time to take the next step. 

3. I will not spend energy on being angry and resentful of people and things I have no ability to control. Instead, I will spend my energy with people and activities that support my healing journey. 

4. I will save my energy by letting go of being worried about what other people think of me and my grief. Instead, I will speak my truth authentically and transparently so that others may be empowered by my courage.

5. I will let go of behaviors or thought patterns that keep me stuck and unable to heal. Instead, I will trust and tap into my own inner wisdom that reflects my divine healing powers. 

Originally published at


By Paula Stephens, Certified Wellness Coach