Saturday Morning Message: Favorite Quotes or Phrases
Author: Carol Lane
A good friend of mine from TAPS, Darcie Sims, used this phrase in an article she wrote called, “Star Light, Star Bright”. The article talks about how we stop looking for the stars when our loved ones pass. Then, through the help of friends, we come to a place where we can search for those stars again. Her closing words talk about how we can heal:
“Look skyward tonight and find your special star. And instead of embracing the emptiness, cherish the space that love always fills. We didn’t lose the love just because the light went out on this earthly plane. No light that was born in love can ever be extinguished.”
I hope this quote and the others shared by survivors this week are uplifting for you. Remember you are never alone with TAPS beside you and we are always here to listen to your memories of your loved ones.
Mother of Bryon
Responses from Survivors to last week's question
What is your favorite quote or phrase and how has that served as a reminder to stay positive during these challenging times?
From Lydia Joy, mother of Carl:
When Carl went to boot camp, I would send him a note several times a week. I always started the note with an inspirational quote and always listed the person to whom it was attributed. I tried to find a variety of quotes, but I think the best one was "Never Give Up, Never Surrender" which I attributed to Jason Nesmith.
It's a real quote, but it comes from a movie, "Galaxy Quest", about a fictional television show. Jason Nesmith is one of the characters in the movie whose character, Peter Quincy Taggart, the captain of the spaceship. "Never Give Up, Never Surrender" was the tag line spoken by Jason Nesmith's “Galaxy Quest” character, Peter Quincy Taggart, and appears several times in the movie. I knew that Carl would recognize where it came from and would appreciate the attribution.
Over the past year, I would often tell myself to "Never Give Up, Never Surrender" when I just wanted to quit, when I just wanted everything to go back to the way it was. Giving up, surrendering is just not an option. I can rest, I can take a break, but I can't quit.
From Karl, father of Tre:
Whenever some other kid would start whining, my son, Tre, would say "Cry me a river and build me a bridge and get over it."
From Leslie, mother of Eugene:
I play the piano. When I was practicing, he would walk by and tell me to relax. He would say, “Relax Ma, it’ll sound better.”. “Relax Ma” is what I said to myself when I was performing or even now as I try to push my left arm/hand to work after a recent stroke.
From Perry, father of Christopher:
When I was in graduate school during my time in the military, my thesis was on Joseph Conrad, the English author. In reading his work “Heart of Darkness”, I ran across this quote that has served as a mantra to get through the hardest times in my life. When you realize everything in life takes work, it makes sense.
“I don't like work--no man does, but I like what is in the work--the chance to find yourself. Your own reality--for yourself not for others--what no other man can ever know. They can only see the mere show, and never can tell what it really means.”
From Elizabeth, spouse of Joseph:
This quote was from a PBS program about Queen Elizabeth II who said, "Grief is the price we pay for love." Since we're both named Elizabeth, I like to keep up.
From Don, father of Joshua:
This is one of my all time favorite quotes. It is a quote by Mahatma Gandhi: “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” I have experienced the power behind this thought. When we are feeling love, peace, compassion, hope and joy inside ourselves, we spread that out into our immediate world, and it is reflected back upon us. When we are feeling great, the world around us looks to be feeling great too.
If you would like to send a message commenting on one or all of the responses in this week’s Saturday Morning Message, send it to email@example.com and your thoughts will be passed along to them. You never know how your words may touch the heart of another.
Question for Next Week’s Saturday Morning Message
During the recent TAPS virtual seminar, I met a new survivor who talked about her son’s love of trains and later shared photos of his train bell with me. This served as an inspiration for this week’s Saturday Morning Message question.
Tell us about an item that your loved one left you and why it is meaningful to you. If you have a photo of the item that you would be willing to share with the Saturday Morning Message Community, please send that to us. We look forward to your responses.
The Saturday Morning Message was created so survivors can share questions and read how others respond. Questions for future messages are always welcome. You can reply to this message or email firstname.lastname@example.org. In order to have your reply included the following week, it is best to send your response by Tuesday morning. Thank you to everyone responding this week and to those who read this message.
Song for the Week
The song this week was sent by Derek, son of Millard, who wrote, “The song “If Heaven Weren’t So Far Away”, sung by Justin Moore, is important to me, because it talks about getting time with our loved ones who have passed away. The man in the song talks about seeing his grandfather, a cousin who didn’t come home from Vietnam and two classmates.
To me, the message of the song is simple. Cherish your loved ones, because one day they will be gone and tell them how much you love them while they are with you or you will regret it when they pass away. The song reminds me of my dad and grandpa.
In this section next week, we will share a favorite recipe submitted by a survivor.
You can send me a recipe with special meaning from your kitchen to email@example.com. Of course, songs are always welcome.
Healing Through Writing
Without Miles, I started to understand that I might grieve forever, but I would still need a reason to get out of bed. Writing became that reason.
Video: Relaxation Meditation to ease the Anxiety, Stress and Tension of Grief
This webinar discusses how to reverse the harmful effects of grief and stress using evidence based, easy-to-do meditation practices.