Saturday Morning Message: Continuing Our Loved Ones' Habits

Author: Carol Lane

Good Morning,

In my area of the country, fall is coming. This week’s question, combined with the leaves beginning to change color, made me think of a habit I still do that started with my son, Bryon, playing football in high school. Although I didn’t know much about the sport before he decided to play, I learned the names of many plays and what each player was supposed to do from going to his games. As a family, we would watch our favorite team on television and eat popcorn. Now, every fall, I get ready and watch at least one weekend football game on television.

autumn in new york city

In this week’s Saturday Morning Message response section, other survivors have shared about the habits their loved ones had. I know you will enjoy learning more about these special people.  

Carol Lane
Mother of Bryon

Responses from Survivors to last week's question

What habits did your loved one have that you still remember? And, do you continue any of them today? 


Christopher asleep

From Perry, father of Christopher: It is funny when I think of the one habit Christopher had. He could fall asleep anywhere at any time. It would be in some of the most unusual positions at that. I told him I would use this as blackmail when he got older. I have a picture of him sleeping at my father’s home before he went to Iraq and he sent me this photo from Iraq to show that old habits die hard. He was kind of a sleepy head, because there were never enough hours in the day.

From Kelsey, mother of Michael: My son always called me Momma-san. I called him Ojisan which means uncle. We both loved Japanese culture. I would love to hear him say Momma-san one more time.

From Elizabeth, spouse of Joseph: I've continued folding towels the only way Joe liked.  Living for 47 years with someone who had trouble with lots of scents, means I still can only use unscented deodorant and Tide detergent. A few months after Joe died, I won a small bottle of Chanel Number 5 cologne that I always loved pre-Joe. I tried wearing it a couple of times and ended up giving it away. 

From Sandra, mother of Joshua: My son would buy his two young daughters donuts and orange juice for breakfast as a special treat. I did not know this until after Josh passed away. I was talking to my youngest grandchild about her daddy and she started sobbing uncontrollably. It was heartbreaking. I hugged my granddaughter tight and pulled her into my lap. My granddaughter said that whenever she went to visit her daddy, he would buy donuts and orange juice for breakfast and she missed it so much. I told her that I would do the same and it calmed her. Papa and Grandma buy donuts and orange juice for the girls now and our grandchildren still get excited every single time.

If you would like to send a message commenting on one or all of the responses in this week’s Saturday Morning Message, send it to and your thoughts will be passed along to them. You never know how your words may touch the heart of another.

Question for Next Week’s Saturday Morning Message 

The question this week comes from the TAPS Facebook page. Sharing positive quotes can encourage us to do the best we can each day. Let’s share our favorite ones, so the question this week is: What is your favorite quote or phrase and how has that served as a reminder to stay positive during these challenging times? We look forward to reading your responses. 

The Saturday Morning Message was created so survivors can share questions and read how others respond. Questions for future messages are always welcome. You can reply to this message or email In order to have your reply included the following week, it is best to send your response by Tuesday morning. Thank you to everyone responding this week and to those who read this message.

Exciting New Addition Coming to the Saturday Morning Message

silverware icon

On a recent Tuesday general chat, the participants talked about using their own recipes to create their favorite dish. Someone suggested sharing recipes might be a good topic for the Saturday Morning Message. So, we are going to try something new! 

We will alternate weeks of sharing our favorite recipes and songs that are treasured. We will feature a recipe on the first and third Saturday of each month and will feature a song on the second and fourth Saturday.

Send your favorite recipes and/or songs to Include a sentence or two telling us a little about them. We look forward to reading recipes from all over the country and continuing to hear your special songs.

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Other Items and Events of Interest

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Join us on Memorial Day Weekend, May 28 to 30, for our 27th Annual National Military Survivor Seminar! We will be live streaming all of our general sessions with guest speakers.

Important Note: In-person registration is still open, but we are in a waitlist situation due to COVID occupancy restrictions in the State of Virginia. 

If you have any questions, email or call our Helpline at 202.588.TAPS (8277).

Learn More and Register


▶▶  Connect With Your TAPS Family 

You can discover all the opportunities to connect with your TAPS Family on our website at the TAPS Event Calendar.

About the Saturday Morning Message

The Saturday Morning Message (SMM) is a weekly communication contributed by survivors. The primary focus of the SMM is to foster peer-based connections for support and encouragement. It is the goal of this communication to foster a safe, supportive place where we can openly share in a nonjudgmental and caring manner. Read and contribute as you are comfortable. Content submitted for the SMM is edited for space considerations and may be used in other TAPS publications. The loving family at TAPS is available to you 24 hours a day. Please call 202-588-TAPS (8277).