Saturday Morning Message: Continuing Our Loved Ones' Habits

Author: Carol Lane

Good Morning,

In my area of the country, fall is coming. This week’s question, combined with the leaves beginning to change color, made me think of a habit I still do that started with my son, Bryon, playing football in high school. Although I didn’t know much about the sport before he decided to play, I learned the names of many plays and what each player was supposed to do from going to his games. As a family, we would watch our favorite team on television and eat popcorn. Now, every fall, I get ready and watch at least one weekend football game on television.

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In this week’s Saturday Morning Message response section, other survivors have shared about the habits their loved ones had. I know you will enjoy learning more about these special people.  

Carol Lane
Mother of Bryon

Responses from Survivors to last week's question

What habits did your loved one have that you still remember? And, do you continue any of them today? 


Christopher asleep

From Perry, father of Christopher: It is funny when I think of the one habit Christopher had. He could fall asleep anywhere at any time. It would be in some of the most unusual positions at that. I told him I would use this as blackmail when he got older. I have a picture of him sleeping at my father’s home before he went to Iraq and he sent me this photo from Iraq to show that old habits die hard. He was kind of a sleepy head, because there were never enough hours in the day.

From Kelsey, mother of Michael: My son always called me Momma-san. I called him Ojisan which means uncle. We both loved Japanese culture. I would love to hear him say Momma-san one more time.

From Elizabeth, spouse of Joseph: I've continued folding towels the only way Joe liked.  Living for 47 years with someone who had trouble with lots of scents, means I still can only use unscented deodorant and Tide detergent. A few months after Joe died, I won a small bottle of Chanel Number 5 cologne that I always loved pre-Joe. I tried wearing it a couple of times and ended up giving it away. 

From Sandra, mother of Joshua: My son would buy his two young daughters donuts and orange juice for breakfast as a special treat. I did not know this until after Josh passed away. I was talking to my youngest grandchild about her daddy and she started sobbing uncontrollably. It was heartbreaking. I hugged my granddaughter tight and pulled her into my lap. My granddaughter said that whenever she went to visit her daddy, he would buy donuts and orange juice for breakfast and she missed it so much. I told her that I would do the same and it calmed her. Papa and Grandma buy donuts and orange juice for the girls now and our grandchildren still get excited every single time.

If you would like to send a message commenting on one or all of the responses in this week’s Saturday Morning Message, send it to and your thoughts will be passed along to them. You never know how your words may touch the heart of another.

Question for Next Week’s Saturday Morning Message 

The question this week comes from the TAPS Facebook page. Sharing positive quotes can encourage us to do the best we can each day. Let’s share our favorite ones, so the question this week is: What is your favorite quote or phrase and how has that served as a reminder to stay positive during these challenging times? We look forward to reading your responses. 

The Saturday Morning Message was created so survivors can share questions and read how others respond. Questions for future messages are always welcome. You can reply to this message or email In order to have your reply included the following week, it is best to send your response by Tuesday morning. Thank you to everyone responding this week and to those who read this message.

Exciting New Addition Coming to the Saturday Morning Message

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On a recent Tuesday general chat, the participants talked about using their own recipes to create their favorite dish. Someone suggested sharing recipes might be a good topic for the Saturday Morning Message. So, we are going to try something new! 

We will alternate weeks of sharing our favorite recipes and songs that are treasured. We will feature a recipe on the first and third Saturday of each month and will feature a song on the second and fourth Saturday.

Send your favorite recipes and/or songs to Include a sentence or two telling us a little about them. We look forward to reading recipes from all over the country and continuing to hear your special songs.

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Visit the TAPS Online Community Calendar for this week's schedule of text and video chats and other offerings. We have a virtual gathering most days of the week. Whether you want to share your story or just read how other survivors are sharing and coping, this online grief support community is a way for you to develop and strengthen your connections with TAPS.

Other Items and Events of Interest

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Dare to Lead - Cohort 3

Whether you are looking to enhance your resume or just want to pick up a new skill or two, we are excited to offer a third cohort of our popular Dare to Lead series of workshops, beginning on Sunday, November 15. These sessions are open to TAPS Survivors wanting to bring more courage to their workplace, home, community, or school. It is applicable for both formal and informal leaders (all of us), executives, visionaries, and healers across all spectrums.

Central Regional Seminar 

Join us at the Central Regional Seminar on  November 13 to 15 for a time of sharing, hope, and healing. Our seminars are designed to meet you where you are and help you gain coping skills that will help you find meaning and purpose as you move forward on your grief journey. We are working to make arrangements for this event with safety in mind and look forward to being together again. Thanks to the generosity of our sponsors, TAPS provides all lodging, meals, materials, activities, and T-shirts at no cost to you.

Set Sail with Your TAPS Family! 

This summer, sail with your TAPS Family on the TAPS Alaska Cruise from July 30 to August 10, 2021, through the inside passage to Alaska onboard Royal Caribbean's Radiance of the Seas! While onboard, TAPS will have a variety of programs and activities available for you and we will gather each evening for a TAPS Family dinner. And to give you peace of mind, Royal Caribbean has extended their “Cruise with Confidence” program through the end of November. Anyone who books a cabin under that program will be able to cancel up to 48 hours before sailing (for any reason) and receive 100% future credit.

A Breath of Fresh Air

We want to help you reconnect with nature in simple, yet meaningful ways with monthly themes and weekly activities you can do anywhere. Join us as we navigate the wilds of our natural world and the wilds of your grief. You will have access to downloadable content, videos, and articles each week and a family campfire at the end of each month! Find nature where you live, whether it be in your community or your own backyard. Join in our activities and snap a photo to share with us. Let's join together for a Breath of Fresh Air!

You can discover all the opportunities to connect with your TAPS family on our website at the TAPS Event Calendar.

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Choose TAPS as Your AmazonSmile Charity of Choice

AmazonSmile is a simple way for you to support TAPS every time you shop, at no cost to you. Visit, log in, and select TAPS as your charity of choice. Amazon will give 0.5% of your eligible purchases to TAPS.

About the Saturday Morning Message

The Saturday Morning Message (SMM) is a weekly communication; written and contributed to by survivors. The primary focus of the Saturday Morning Message is to foster peer-based connection for support and encouragement.  It is the goal of this communication to foster a safe, supportive atmosphere where we can openly share in a non-judgmental and caring manner. Read and contribute as you are comfortable, and explore any opinions/ideas shared that are most beneficial to you on your individual journey. Content submitted for inclusion in the Saturday Morning Message is edited for spacing considerations, grammatical corrections and may be used in other TAPS publications.  

To subscribe or contribute to the Saturday Morning Message email

If you ever need to speak to someone regarding an urgent matter or just need a listening ear, the loving family at TAPS is available to you 24 hours a day. Please feel free to contact TAPS at 800-959-8277.