Saturday Morning Message: Knacks That Our Loved Ones Had

Author: Carol Lane

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Good Morning,

This week’s opening picture is a turkey pin a friend made for me. She really has a knack for making cute jewelry and with Thanksgiving right around the corner, it seemed perfect. I hope it brings a smile to your face.

Sharing some of the knacks our loved ones had gives us a unique picture into who they were. When we meet each other at a TAPS event, we spend a lot of time talking about our loved ones’ lives. This week’s responders did exactly that by sharing about some of the specialties their loved ones had. I hope you enjoy this week’s message.

Important Note: Due to the Thanksgiving holiday, we will not be sending out a Saturday Morning Message on Saturday, November 28. We look forward to reconnecting with you on Saturday, December 5. 

We wish everyone a safe and Happy Thanksgiving. TAPS will be available 24/7 throughout the holiday weekend, if you need us at 202.588.(TAPS) 8277.

Hugs,
Carol Lane
Mother of Bryon

 


Responses from Survivors to last week's question

What is a knack your loved one had?

From Kelsey, mother of Michael: My son was very good with computers. He could build them and write programs. We were in the process of developing a video game when he died.

From Elizabeth, spouse of Joseph: My Joe had the great combo of being an excellent host and cook. Our New Year's Eve parties were fabulous, but I enjoyed the huge 4th of July cookouts even more. Joe cooked for spaghetti suppers and parish festivals. He even insisted on cooking for his own retirement party. I never understood that one. He was at his best feeding hordes of people, especially our daughters' friends.

From Meredith, mother of Austin: My son Austin's knack was that he could go into a room on maybe one of the saddest days and turn frowns into smiles. He just had a way of making people who may be struggling with something feel better and bring a smile to their face. So many of our family and friends reflect on times when Austin made things so much better. We lost him on April 5, 2018, and I still hear from people almost every day about his knack for making them feel better.

From Sandra, mother of Joshua: My son had a knack for gift giving and would search high and low for unique gifts to fit each one of our personalities. Josh used to buy me Bath and Body Works gift cards, because I loved them, but he also bought me New Orleans Saints gear, handcrafted shells and tiny bottles from Hawaii, chocolates and teas and Marine attire. He once sent his daddy an ammunition case filled with a stainless steel fork and spoon, a flashlight pen, snacks and bought him lots of Houston Texans gear. Joshua bought his brother, Jordan, a green cloth Marine wallet around 19 years ago at boot camp. Throughout the years, he sent Jordan a Harry Potter robe, a pocket watch and a Game of Thrones glass goblet. These are just a few examples of the gifts given to us on birthdays and holidays.

Josh saw birthdays and holidays as opportunities to show us how much he loved us and to make us extremely happy. We value those gifts and they have become our treasures. He always sent his girls lots of toys that would cause them to squeal with delight. My husband still wears the Houston Texans hat almost every day and Jordan still uses his green Marine wallet. I value the last gift that Josh bought me. It is a card with a Christian necklace with a photo enclosed of Josh and I at a rugby game and a note written with love.

If you would like to send a note commenting on one or all of the responses in this week’s Saturday Morning Message, send it to online@taps.org and your thoughts will be passed along to each contributor. You never know how your words may touch the heart of another.

 


Question for Next Week’s Saturday Morning Message 

The December holidays are very close. With the stress related to this year’s COVID-19 restrictions on top of coping with our grief journey, we can gather ideas from others on how to handle the holiday season, so this question is: What are your strategies for coping with the holiday season? I look forward to hearing from you.

The Saturday Morning Message was created so survivors can share questions and read how others respond. Questions for future messages are always welcome. You can reply to this message or email online@taps.org. In order to have your reply included the next edition on Saturday, December 5, it is best to send your response by the morning of Tuesday, December 1, 2020. Thank you to everyone responding this week and to those who read this message.

 


Song for the Week

 

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Debbie, spouse of Thomas sent the song for this week which is: "If You Came Back from Heaven" by Lorrie Morgan. It is extremely touching and I know we will identify with the words.

Next Edition on December 5, 2020: We will feature a recipe from a survivor and why it has a special meaning. 

If you have a favorite recipe or song for this section, please send it to me at online@taps.org.

 


Related Stories

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Article: The Holidays Are Here Again

For survivors who have experienced the death of a loved one, the shadow of grief often darkens the weeks from Thanksgiving through New Year’s Day.

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VIDEO: The Power of Perspective - Choosing Gratitude

This video recording explores the importance of gratitude and methods to incorporate it within our daily lives.

 


UPCOMING VIDEO AND TEXT CHATS
 

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Visit the TAPS Online Community Calendar for this week's schedule of text and video chats and other offerings. We have a virtual gathering most days of the week. Whether you want to share your story or just read how other survivors are sharing and coping, this online grief support community is a way for you to develop and strengthen your connections with TAPS.


Other Items and Events of Interest
 

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TAPS Store: Free Holiday Shipping Promotion

Planning to do your holiday shopping with TAPS? Our TAPS Online Store is excited to announce our holiday shipping promotion. From Friday, November 27 through Sunday, December 13, spend $50 in the TAPS Online Store and receive FREE ground shipping. 

Women's Empowerment - December Programming

Are you looking for additional support during this time? You may just find your sisterhood during our Women's Empowerment programming events! Beginning on December 4, a variety of sessions are available daily from Tuesday to Friday of each week and are open to all TAPS women wrestling with questions of identity and purpose after loss. 

You can discover all the opportunities to connect with your TAPS family on our website at the TAPS Event Calendar.


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Wreaths Across America

TAPS and Wreaths Across America have teamed up to honor those who served and died for our country Please honor and remember our country’s fallen heroes by sponsoring a Remembrance Wreath that will be laid on the graves of our military and veteran loved ones. Orders for 2020 placement must be made by end of day on Monday, November 30, 2020. You could also join us on December 19, 2020, by volunteering to lay wreaths. Invite your family and friends, as well.


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Military Sibling Grief Survey

If you are a military surviving sibling, we invite you to share about your grief experience and perceptions of support you have received in a Military Sibling Grief Survey being conducted by Dr. Courtney Sanchez, a Gold Star sibling and doctor of psychiatric medicine with Prisma Health Midlands in Columbia, South Carolina.

Participation in this survey is completely anonymous. Dr. Sanchez's goal is to create a better understanding of this unique survivor population in order to help provide support for surviving siblings.

 

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Choose TAPS as Your AmazonSmile Charity of Choice

AmazonSmile is a simple way for you to support TAPS every time you shop, at no cost to you. Visit smile.amazon.com, log in, and select TAPS as your charity of choice. Amazon will give 0.5% of your eligible purchases to TAPS.


About the Saturday Morning Message

The Saturday Morning Message (SMM) is a weekly communication; written and contributed to by survivors. The primary focus of the Saturday Morning Message is to foster peer-based connection for support and encouragement.  It is the goal of this communication to foster a safe, supportive atmosphere where we can openly share in a non-judgmental and caring manner. Read and contribute as you are comfortable, and explore any opinions/ideas shared that are most beneficial to you on your individual journey. Content submitted for inclusion in the Saturday Morning Message is edited for spacing considerations, grammatical corrections and may be used in other TAPS publications.  

To subscribe or contribute to the Saturday Morning Message email online@taps.org.

If you ever need to speak to someone regarding an urgent matter or just need a listening ear, the loving family at TAPS is available to you 24 hours a day. Please feel free to contact TAPS at 800-959-8277.