Saturday Morning Message: How We Will Honor Memorial Day

Author: Carol Lane

Good morning,

The springtime holidays from Mother’s Day to Father’s Day, with Memorial Day in between, can be stressful for many surviving adults and children. If there is a significant birth or angelversary date that occurs during this time, it can be even more emotional for the family. This year is particularly stressful with social distancing and the uncertainty that comes with living during a pandemic. For this reason, TAPS is holding a virtual national seminar that you can attend from your own home. You’ll be able participate online in the company of others through a variety of sessions.To  register or for more information, go to Virtual National Military Survivor Seminar and Family Program. Whatever your plans for the week of Memorial Day, know that your TAPS family is here to support you.

Carol Lane
Mother of Bryon

TAPS Women wellness session


Answers from Survivors

Responses from Survivors to last week's question: What are you going to do to honor your loved one on this Memorial Day?

From Donna, mother of Eric: Our son was KIA on May 26, 2012, the Saturday of Memorial weekend. Each year we host his battle buddies for a long weekend. Some even stay a week. This year, it isn't feasible to have everyone come. A memorial wall group that's about two hours away from us has asked for us to come each year and we just haven't been able to go with all the boys here. So this year, we will be attending their memorial service and get an etching of our son's name on their wall. They have a formal plan for us to get the etching, so Eric will be highlighted during the ceremony. It will be very different this year. Usually I'm so busy cooking for 30 Marines and family that I don't have any time to be sad or wallow. I'm not sure what to expect this year. 

If you would like to send a message thanking one or all of those who participated in this week’s Saturday Morning Message, send it to me at and I will make sure your thoughts are passed along to them.


Question for Next Week’s Saturday Morning Message 

This week’s question comes from Lalaine, daughter of Francisco. She writes, “No one knows more the true meaning of Memorial Day than our TAPS families. It is not just a holiday for us, but a lifetime of grief and memories of a love that can't be contained to only one day in the year. If someone were to greet you saying ‘Happy Memorial Day’ how would you respond? How have you responded in the past? Has your answer changed since your loss?” We look forward to your response.

The Saturday Morning Message was created so survivors can share questions and read how others respond. I am always looking for questions for future messages. I encourage you to reply to the Saturday Morning Message by emailing In order to have your reply included the following week, it is best to send your response to me by Tuesday morning. Thank you to everyone responding this week and those who read this message.


♫ Song for the Week

This week’s song is from Laura, spouse of Gregory, who wrote, “Greg always enjoyed driving me nuts with a metal song like, "Let the Bodies Hit the Floor". I’d yell at him to turn it down and he’d tell me that his Grandma always told him how music soothes the soul of a savage beast! Let the bodies hit the floor is now on my workout playlist!" 

If you would like to send a message thanking one or all of those who participated in this week’s Saturday Morning Message, send it to me at and I will make sure your thoughts are passed along to them. You never know how your words may touch the heart of another.

You can send me favorite songs for this song of the week section at and include a note about why the song is meaningful to you.


Related Stories

Survivors at Arlington

5 Tips for Self-Care on Memorial Day

It's important to practice self care during Memorial Day weekend.

Rachel and Jeffrey Hill

Memorial Day brings a mix of emotions

For one surviving widow and her two boys, this day is now etched into their minds and brings with it sorrow and tears, but also pride in remembrance.


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Visit the TAPS Online Community Calendar for this week's schedule of text and video chats and other offerings. We have a virtual gathering most days of the week. Whether you want to share your story or just read how other survivors are sharing and coping, this online grief support community is a way for you to develop and strengthen your connections with TAPS.

Other Items and Events of Interest

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TAPS Store: Free Holiday Shipping Promotion

Planning to do your holiday shopping with TAPS? Our TAPS Online Store is excited to announce our holiday shipping promotion. From Friday, November 27 through Sunday, December 13, spend $50 in the TAPS Online Store and receive FREE ground shipping. 

Women's Empowerment - December Programming

Are you looking for additional support during this time? You may just find your sisterhood during our Women's Empowerment programming events! Beginning on December 4, a variety of sessions are available daily from Tuesday to Friday of each week and are open to all TAPS women wrestling with questions of identity and purpose after loss. 

You can discover all the opportunities to connect with your TAPS family on our website at the TAPS Event Calendar.

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Wreaths Across America

TAPS and Wreaths Across America have teamed up to honor those who served and died for our country Please honor and remember our country’s fallen heroes by sponsoring a Remembrance Wreath that will be laid on the graves of our military and veteran loved ones. Orders for 2020 placement must be made by end of day on Monday, November 30, 2020. You could also join us on December 19, 2020, by volunteering to lay wreaths. Invite your family and friends, as well.

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Military Sibling Grief Survey

If you are a military surviving sibling, we invite you to share about your grief experience and perceptions of support you have received in a Military Sibling Grief Survey being conducted by Dr. Courtney Sanchez, a Gold Star sibling and doctor of psychiatric medicine with Prisma Health Midlands in Columbia, South Carolina.

Participation in this survey is completely anonymous. Dr. Sanchez's goal is to create a better understanding of this unique survivor population in order to help provide support for surviving siblings.


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Choose TAPS as Your AmazonSmile Charity of Choice

AmazonSmile is a simple way for you to support TAPS every time you shop, at no cost to you. Visit, log in, and select TAPS as your charity of choice. Amazon will give 0.5% of your eligible purchases to TAPS.

About the Saturday Morning Message

The Saturday Morning Message (SMM) is a weekly communication; written and contributed to by survivors. The primary focus of the Saturday Morning Message is to foster peer-based connection for support and encouragement.  It is the goal of this communication to foster a safe, supportive atmosphere where we can openly share in a non-judgmental and caring manner. Read and contribute as you are comfortable, and explore any opinions/ideas shared that are most beneficial to you on your individual journey. Content submitted for inclusion in the Saturday Morning Message is edited for spacing considerations, grammatical corrections and may be used in other TAPS publications.  

To subscribe or contribute to the Saturday Morning Message email

If you ever need to speak to someone regarding an urgent matter or just need a listening ear, the loving family at TAPS is available to you 24 hours a day. Please feel free to contact TAPS at 800-959-8277.