Saturday Morning Message: Finding Comfort in Everyday Objects

Author: Carol Lane

Good morning,

Stress comes along when we are confronted with something emotionally difficult. Although it can come when you least expect it, lately our nation is under a great deal of stress and we all may feel it. On top of that, we continue to experience personal grief following the loss of our loved one. This is when something we can touch or look at may bring us a bit of peace. The opening picture is the heart locket I wear everyday. Inside is a small picture of my son, Bryon. When I feel stressed, I often find myself putting my hand up to feel it’s smoothness, which creates calm. That small act seems to quiet me. Today you will read how other survivors find calm when feeling stressed. 

Carol's Locket photo

Carol Lane
Mother of Bryon


Responses from Survivors to last week's question

Do you have an object, token or device that helps you relieve stress? How does it help you?


heart pillow

From Samira, mother of Andres: One of his pillows, a pair of his pants and this heart pillow came from Japan. When I hold the heart pillow, it is like Andres saying to me, “This is my heart. Hold it.” It really helps me! I sleep with it every night. I really miss him a lot.


From Debby, spouse of Thomas: I have a necklace that contains a small amount of Tom’s ashes in it. It reads, “My husband, my friend.” Whenever I am extremely stressed or worried, I will hold it in my hand and usually will rub the smooth back of it with my thumb. It acts like a “worry stone” for me. It helps to remind me that Tom would be telling me “Will this matter in 10 years or 100 years?” or “You’ve got this, kid.” Those were two things he would always tell me whenever I was stressed or doubted myself and my abilities. Other times, I will just hold it in my hand and it will feel either cool or warm, which also is calming because I remember how much I was loved and that “love lives on.”

rose plant

From James, father of Andrew: I do OK with stress, though I find certain things helpful to feel more at ease and relaxed. Someone gave us a rose plant after Andy passed. It’s comforting to watch it grow and develop. It just started blooming. The first flower this year appeared hidden way down low. Through what’s obvious Andy keeps his presence known - as long as we pay attention. I know his comment, “How hard is it? It’s obvious!” I smile. I think of Andy’s smiles and I feel relaxed.


Question for Next Week’s Saturday Morning Message 

Mary, daughter of William, sent an email telling me about how she can calm herself just by thinking of the things her father would say. Her question this week is: What are the things your loved one said that you remember most? You can share a memory of when it was said or how it makes you feel when you remember the quote. 

The Saturday Morning Message was created so survivors can share questions and read how others respond. Questions for future messages are always welcome. You can reply to this message or email In order to have your reply included the following week, it is best to send your response by Tuesday morning. Thank you to everyone responding this week and those who read this message.


♫ Song for the Week

Alicia, mother of Nathan shared this song. She wrote, “‘Drowning’ by Chris Young was shared to Nathan's Facebook page by his best friend who found herself missing Nathan. I thought I would share it here for safe keeping. The lyrics say it all and just touched my heart.”

You can send your favorite songs to and include a note about why the song is meaningful to you.


Share Your Thoughts

If you would like to send a message thanking one or all of those who participated in this week’s Saturday Morning Message, send it to and your thoughts will be passed along to them. You never know how your words may touch the heart of another.


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Other Items and Events of Interest

Arlington Cemetery family at headstone

Join us on Memorial Day Weekend, May 28 to 30, for our 27th Annual National Military Survivor Seminar! We will be live streaming all of our general sessions with guest speakers.

Important Note: In-person registration is still open, but we are in a waitlist situation due to COVID occupancy restrictions in the State of Virginia. 

If you have any questions, email or call our Helpline at 202.588.TAPS (8277).

Learn More and Register


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You can discover all the opportunities to connect with your TAPS Family on our website at the TAPS Event Calendar.

About the Saturday Morning Message

The Saturday Morning Message (SMM) is a weekly communication contributed by survivors. The primary focus of the SMM is to foster peer-based connections for support and encouragement. It is the goal of this communication to foster a safe, supportive place where we can openly share in a nonjudgmental and caring manner. Read and contribute as you are comfortable. Content submitted for the SMM is edited for space considerations and may be used in other TAPS publications. The loving family at TAPS is available to you 24 hours a day. Please call 202-588-TAPS (8277).