Saturday Morning Message: Our Loved One's Thoughts

Author: Carol Lane

Good morning,

For many of us, it is winter, so I thought this picture of a beach at sunset in the summertime might be the perfect way to take many of us out of the dreary winter weather to contemplate questions such as what our loved ones might say if they were here today. When we answer this question, we celebrate how our loved ones lived their lives. Sharing these thoughts with others lets them get to know these special people.

Sunset on beach

If reading this Saturday Morning Message makes you want to share your thoughts, please write them down and send them to me. In addition to this message, we at TAPS also put together a monthly publication called the Writers’ Circle in which survivors send poems, essays, pictures and thoughts about a message question after reading what others have said. We would love to read your writing. You can write your reflections and subscribe to the Writers’ Circle by sending an email to me at

Carol Lane
Mother of Bryon


Answers from Survivors

Responses from Survivors to last week's question: What do you think your loved one would say to you today? 

From Leslie, mother of Eugene: Mom, there are too many reasons why you are so loved, especially by me. I will tell you a few. You loved me when I was a miserable person to be around. You stood by me and never flinched. You were proud of my accomplishments especially in the Navy. You created a law that not only helped me with college tuition, but other military veterans as well received enhanced education benefits that includes books, room and board. This was signed into law by President Obama in January 2011 just a couple of weeks before I passed away. And best of all is that you accepted Jo — a girlfriend I had for years but never let you know — as your own daughter. You love her and her daughter like they were blood. Love you, Gene

From Kelsey, mother of Michael: My son, affectionately known as Bear, was a big ol’ teddy bear and loved video and board games. He would say Momma-san, let's play a game today. Maybe The Witcher, followed by one of the board games we were developing before his death. We prototyped one before his death and were working on another. I finished the second one and it's ready for prototyping.

From Anne, mother of Michael: I know that my son, Michael, a Marine who was killed test piloting the Osprey, and my husband, Buddy, a Korean War Purple Heart recipient who died four years ago, are looking down on me with BIG smiles on their faces and happy that I am able to go forward with my life while always honoring them. I am a grateful woman who cherishes life and uplifts others as I go through my day.

If you would like to send a message thanking one or all of those who participated in this week’s Saturday Morning Message, send it to me at and I will make sure your thoughts are passed along to them.


Question for Next Week’s Saturday Morning Message 

The question this week comes from Perry, father of Christopher. Perry wrote, “You got me thinking about questions for the future. My idea is to bring up happy moments from our past that will bring a smile to everyone as many of us have had shared experiences.” Perry’s question for this week is: What is one of the funniest things your loved one did? We look forward to your responses. 

I am always looking for questions from survivors. Send me a question or a list of questions that you have for future Saturday Morning Messages. You can also respond to Perry’s question by emailing me at I directly receive all responses that are sent to this address. In order to have your reply included in the week’s Saturday Morning Message, it is best to send it to me by Tuesday morning of the following week. Thank you to everyone responding this week and those who read this message.


♫ Song for the Week

This week’s song is from Robin, spouse of Alex. Robin wrote, “As I was listening to the song listed in the Saturday Morning Message today, I saw this one listed below it. I've never heard this song, but it really touched me when I listened to it.” The song is "Even When It Hurts" sung by Hillsong United.

You can send me favorite songs for this song of the week section at and include a note about why the song is meaningful to you.


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Visit the TAPS Online Community Calendar for this week's schedule of text and video chats and other offerings. We have a virtual gathering most days of the week. Whether you want to share your story or just read how other survivors are sharing and coping, this online grief support community is a way for you to develop and strengthen your connections with TAPS.

Other Items and Events of Interest

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TAPS Store: Free Holiday Shipping Promotion

Planning to do your holiday shopping with TAPS? Our TAPS Online Store is excited to announce our holiday shipping promotion. From Friday, November 27 through Sunday, December 13, spend $50 in the TAPS Online Store and receive FREE ground shipping. 

Women's Empowerment - December Programming

Are you looking for additional support during this time? You may just find your sisterhood during our Women's Empowerment programming events! Beginning on December 4, a variety of sessions are available daily from Tuesday to Friday of each week and are open to all TAPS women wrestling with questions of identity and purpose after loss. 

You can discover all the opportunities to connect with your TAPS family on our website at the TAPS Event Calendar.

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Wreaths Across America

TAPS and Wreaths Across America have teamed up to honor those who served and died for our country Please honor and remember our country’s fallen heroes by sponsoring a Remembrance Wreath that will be laid on the graves of our military and veteran loved ones. Orders for 2020 placement must be made by end of day on Monday, November 30, 2020. You could also join us on December 19, 2020, by volunteering to lay wreaths. Invite your family and friends, as well.

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Military Sibling Grief Survey

If you are a military surviving sibling, we invite you to share about your grief experience and perceptions of support you have received in a Military Sibling Grief Survey being conducted by Dr. Courtney Sanchez, a Gold Star sibling and doctor of psychiatric medicine with Prisma Health Midlands in Columbia, South Carolina.

Participation in this survey is completely anonymous. Dr. Sanchez's goal is to create a better understanding of this unique survivor population in order to help provide support for surviving siblings.


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Choose TAPS as Your AmazonSmile Charity of Choice

AmazonSmile is a simple way for you to support TAPS every time you shop, at no cost to you. Visit, log in, and select TAPS as your charity of choice. Amazon will give 0.5% of your eligible purchases to TAPS.

About the Saturday Morning Message

The Saturday Morning Message (SMM) is a weekly communication; written and contributed to by survivors. The primary focus of the Saturday Morning Message is to foster peer-based connection for support and encouragement.  It is the goal of this communication to foster a safe, supportive atmosphere where we can openly share in a non-judgmental and caring manner. Read and contribute as you are comfortable, and explore any opinions/ideas shared that are most beneficial to you on your individual journey. Content submitted for inclusion in the Saturday Morning Message is edited for spacing considerations, grammatical corrections and may be used in other TAPS publications.  

To subscribe or contribute to the Saturday Morning Message email

If you ever need to speak to someone regarding an urgent matter or just need a listening ear, the loving family at TAPS is available to you 24 hours a day. Please feel free to contact TAPS at 800-959-8277.