Saturday Morning Message: Practicing Self Care

Author: Carol Lane

Good morning,

Often while grieving we care for others in our friends/family circle, but it is really important to take a bit of time each day to do something we enjoy. One thing that lifts my spirits is to sit and talk with a friend like these survivors are doing at a TAPS seminar. That is why I like attending TAPS events. There I meet other survivors and form friendships. When I am at home, I make plans to visit friends at least a few times a week. These experiences make me feel less lonely and is my way of practicing self care. Other survivors have shared their ideas in the response section of this week’s Saturday Morning Message. I hope you will find these ideas helpful.

TAPS Survivors share at a Texas Seminar

Remember, you can write to me anytime — to contribute, subscribe or if you have thoughts on what could make the Saturday Morning Message more helpful. I look forward to hearing from you. My email address is

Carol Lane
Mother of Bryon


Answers from Survivors

Responses from Survivors to last week's question: What do you do to practice self care?


Sophie and Maxi

From Bobbie, mother of Eric: Snuggling with my two fur babies Sophie and Maxi. They bring me such unconditional love and comfort.

From Alida, mother of Nathan: I get out in nature. I might do a casual hike or ride my bike or go to the coast. Sometimes I don’t go anywhere. I stay home and watch the wildlife around my house while drinking a beverage.  Another thing I have done is garden. Essentially, I take time for me. I am no good to anyone if I do not take care of myself. 

From Christine, spouse of Brett: Buying vinyl records and listening to music. Taking a super hot bubble bath. Getting 8 hours of good sleep.

From Mary, daughter of William: I went to my favorite special place where I meditate and enjoy nature today. It's a very special tree I call the Mary Tree which is at a park near my current and childhood home. This tree juts out over the lake, so children can climb on it and fish. It is one-of-a-kind and it is all mine for that moment. I used to walk to it (about a mile from my house) when I was in college after losing my dad and visiting my mom for the weekend.

From Betty, mother of Brian: Designing jewelry. I love to have my hands busy being creative, my mind designing and not eating things I shouldn’t!

If you would like to send a message thanking one or all of those who participated in this week’s Saturday Morning Message, send it to me at and I will make sure your thoughts are passed along to them.


Question for Next Week’s Saturday Morning Message 

Grief brings some unsettling emotions. Let’s share ideas we use to soften these feelings. The question this week is: What do you do to ease the anxiety, stress and tension of grief? We look forward to your responses.

Questions are the backbone of the Saturday Morning Message. In order to keep it fresh, I am looking for more questions. If you have questions or topics you would like to see addressed, you can email me at I directly receive all responses that are sent to this address. Replies to the weekly question are best sent to me by Tuesday morning. You are an important part of this message, and I look forward to your questions or any ideas you may have.


♫ Song for the Week

When I was looking for a song, "Strong Enough," sung by Matthew West came up and I thought it was perfect for this week’s topic of self care. He sings about times in our lives when things get rough, but we don’t have to face them alone or be strong enough. We need to reach out for help and there will always be someone there, just as TAPS is for us. The video really shows what he means.

You can send your favorite songs for this song of the week section at and include a note about why the song is meaningful to you. 


Related Stories


Saturday Morning Message: Self Care Strategies

Taking care of yourself while grieving can be the last thing on your mind, but it is important. Read articles TAPS published with ideas to help with grieving.

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Saturday Morning Message: Take Good Care

Read 10 resolutions to help someone grieving as well as what survivors are going to do in the new year to take care of themselves.


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Visit the TAPS Online Community Calendar for this week's schedule of text and video chats and other offerings. We have a virtual gathering most days of the week. Whether you want to share your story or just read how other survivors are sharing and coping, this online grief support community is a way for you to develop and strengthen your connections with TAPS.

Other Items and Events of Interest

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TAPS Store: Free Holiday Shipping Promotion

Planning to do your holiday shopping with TAPS? Our TAPS Online Store is excited to announce our holiday shipping promotion. From Friday, November 27 through Sunday, December 13, spend $50 in the TAPS Online Store and receive FREE ground shipping. 

Women's Empowerment - December Programming

Are you looking for additional support during this time? You may just find your sisterhood during our Women's Empowerment programming events! Beginning on December 4, a variety of sessions are available daily from Tuesday to Friday of each week and are open to all TAPS women wrestling with questions of identity and purpose after loss. 

You can discover all the opportunities to connect with your TAPS family on our website at the TAPS Event Calendar.

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Wreaths Across America

TAPS and Wreaths Across America have teamed up to honor those who served and died for our country Please honor and remember our country’s fallen heroes by sponsoring a Remembrance Wreath that will be laid on the graves of our military and veteran loved ones. Orders for 2020 placement must be made by end of day on Monday, November 30, 2020. You could also join us on December 19, 2020, by volunteering to lay wreaths. Invite your family and friends, as well.

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Military Sibling Grief Survey

If you are a military surviving sibling, we invite you to share about your grief experience and perceptions of support you have received in a Military Sibling Grief Survey being conducted by Dr. Courtney Sanchez, a Gold Star sibling and doctor of psychiatric medicine with Prisma Health Midlands in Columbia, South Carolina.

Participation in this survey is completely anonymous. Dr. Sanchez's goal is to create a better understanding of this unique survivor population in order to help provide support for surviving siblings.


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Choose TAPS as Your AmazonSmile Charity of Choice

AmazonSmile is a simple way for you to support TAPS every time you shop, at no cost to you. Visit, log in, and select TAPS as your charity of choice. Amazon will give 0.5% of your eligible purchases to TAPS.

About the Saturday Morning Message

The Saturday Morning Message (SMM) is a weekly communication; written and contributed to by survivors. The primary focus of the Saturday Morning Message is to foster peer-based connection for support and encouragement.  It is the goal of this communication to foster a safe, supportive atmosphere where we can openly share in a non-judgmental and caring manner. Read and contribute as you are comfortable, and explore any opinions/ideas shared that are most beneficial to you on your individual journey. Content submitted for inclusion in the Saturday Morning Message is edited for spacing considerations, grammatical corrections and may be used in other TAPS publications.  

To subscribe or contribute to the Saturday Morning Message email

If you ever need to speak to someone regarding an urgent matter or just need a listening ear, the loving family at TAPS is available to you 24 hours a day. Please feel free to contact TAPS at 800-959-8277.