Saturday Morning Message: To Continue Traditions or Not?

Author: Carol Lane

Good Morning,

Sometimes it is comforting to go to a place that was special to you and your loved one. This is a photo of Lake Tahoe sent by a survivor, Debbie, spouse of Tom, for inclusion in an earlier Saturday Morning Message. She wrote, “Lake Tahoe will always be my happy place and its magic holds the most incredible memories of joy, happiness and true love that never will die.”

Lake Tahoe

Debby writes about the location of her wedding, a place that is comforting to her, but others may find visiting these special places or continuing to do events that brought you pleasure together too difficult to continue now. This week, survivors shared a variety of feelings about those precious customs. We hope you enjoy this week’s message.

Carol Lane
Mother of Bryon

Responses from Survivors to last week's question

What is something you did with your loved one that you continue to do? 

From Kelsey, mother of Michael: My son and I watched “Doctor Who” together. I continue to watch it now. Sometimes with my grandson, his nephew. I feel close to him while watching.

From Sandra, mother of Joshua: I still go out to eat at Casarez. When my son played football, he and his buddies would go out to eat at Casarez after practice. All of the boys were on a budget and they could buy a foot-long burrito with rice and beans, chips and salsa and a giant iced tea for an affordable price. Josh took his daddy and me out to eat at Caserez and it quickly became our favorite Mexican restaurant. My husband and I still eat there. It is bittersweet.

From Elizabeth, spouse of Joseph: My husband Joe was about the only one in the family who liked lima beans. He insisted on us having succotash on Thanksgiving, so we had "do it yourself”; one bowl of corn and another of lima beans. He, his sister and one of our daughters made the combination. The rest of us just had corn. Our daughter, Maria, got married Thanksgiving weekend, 2012. The buffet included traditional succotash.

From Leslie, mother of Eugene: I thought about your question for a couple of days. My son and I had different interests except for cooking. I had recipes from relatives that I shared with him. I no longer cook those things, because it’s painful to think that he should be by my side telling me how I’m doing things wrong when it’s me who taught him.

From Laura, daughter of James: Dad always had amazing gardens...vegetables and flowers, fruit trees and berry bushes. We would walk around the yard and look at them all and talk. That's also how I learned to identify fruits and vegetables growing up. As the cancer took hold of dad, the gardens went by, the walks got shorter; but the walks continue now that dad is gone. When family members come over, we walk in the yard and talk. Whether it is here, a family member’s house or at Mom's, you will find somebody doing a "yard walk”. 

If you would like to send a message thanking one or all of those who participated in this week’s Saturday Morning Message, send it to and your thoughts will be passed along to them. You never know how your words may touch the heart of another.

Question for Next Week’s Saturday Morning Message 

Is there a special gift or present your loved one gave you?

Perry, father of Christopher, sent the next question which is: Is there a special gift or present your loved one gave you? Tell us something about it and share a picture if you would like. We look forward to your responses.

The Saturday Morning Message was created so survivors can share questions and read how others respond. Questions for future messages are always welcome. You can reply to this message or email In order to have your reply included the following week, it is best to send your response by Tuesday morning. Thank you to everyone responding this week and those who read this message.

♫ Song for the Week

This week’s song was sent by Anne, mother of Michael and wife of John. It is "God Bless the USA" sung by Lee Greenwood, Home Free and The Singing Sergeants. Anne writes, “I love our country so much that when I hear that song it always brings tears to my eyes. The USA is the greatest country and I am proud to be an American!”

You can send me favorite songs for this song of the week section at and include a note about why the song is meaningful to you.

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Other Items and Events of Interest

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Whether you are looking to enhance your resume or just want to pick up a new skill or two, we are excited to offer a third cohort of our popular Dare to Lead series of workshops, beginning on Sunday, November 15. These sessions are open to TAPS Survivors wanting to bring more courage to their workplace, home, community, or school. It is applicable for both formal and informal leaders (all of us), executives, visionaries, and healers across all spectrums.

Central Regional Seminar 

Join us at the Central Regional Seminar on  November 13 to 15 for a time of sharing, hope, and healing. Our seminars are designed to meet you where you are and help you gain coping skills that will help you find meaning and purpose as you move forward on your grief journey. We are working to make arrangements for this event with safety in mind and look forward to being together again. Thanks to the generosity of our sponsors, TAPS provides all lodging, meals, materials, activities, and T-shirts at no cost to you.

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This summer, sail with your TAPS Family on the TAPS Alaska Cruise from July 30 to August 10, 2021, through the inside passage to Alaska onboard Royal Caribbean's Radiance of the Seas! While onboard, TAPS will have a variety of programs and activities available for you and we will gather each evening for a TAPS Family dinner. And to give you peace of mind, Royal Caribbean has extended their “Cruise with Confidence” program through the end of November. Anyone who books a cabin under that program will be able to cancel up to 48 hours before sailing (for any reason) and receive 100% future credit.

A Breath of Fresh Air

We want to help you reconnect with nature in simple, yet meaningful ways with monthly themes and weekly activities you can do anywhere. Join us as we navigate the wilds of our natural world and the wilds of your grief. You will have access to downloadable content, videos, and articles each week and a family campfire at the end of each month! Find nature where you live, whether it be in your community or your own backyard. Join in our activities and snap a photo to share with us. Let's join together for a Breath of Fresh Air!

You can discover all the opportunities to connect with your TAPS family on our website at the TAPS Event Calendar.

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Choose TAPS as Your AmazonSmile Charity of Choice

AmazonSmile is a simple way for you to support TAPS every time you shop, at no cost to you. Visit, log in, and select TAPS as your charity of choice. Amazon will give 0.5% of your eligible purchases to TAPS.

About the Saturday Morning Message

The Saturday Morning Message (SMM) is a weekly communication; written and contributed to by survivors. The primary focus of the Saturday Morning Message is to foster peer-based connection for support and encouragement.  It is the goal of this communication to foster a safe, supportive atmosphere where we can openly share in a non-judgmental and caring manner. Read and contribute as you are comfortable, and explore any opinions/ideas shared that are most beneficial to you on your individual journey. Content submitted for inclusion in the Saturday Morning Message is edited for spacing considerations, grammatical corrections and may be used in other TAPS publications.  

To subscribe or contribute to the Saturday Morning Message email

If you ever need to speak to someone regarding an urgent matter or just need a listening ear, the loving family at TAPS is available to you 24 hours a day. Please feel free to contact TAPS at 800-959-8277.