Saturday Morning Message: Feeling close to our loved ones across time and space

Author: Carol Lane

Good morning,

Since this week two responders wrote about feeling close to their loved one through music, I thought opening with a picture showing musical notes with hearts might be a good way to connect and remind us of how music speaks to the love we feel for our loved ones.

music notes and hearts

In addition to those who responded, I wanted to share a recent time when I felt close to my son and husband. It was last weekend when I went to a community supper. I could feel the warm hugs surrounding me. It always amazes me when that happens.

I also want to wish a Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers who read this message. Perhaps this Sunday you can go somewhere that connects you to your loved one and feel the presence.

Remember, you can write to me anytime — to contribute, subscribe or if you have thoughts on what could make the Saturday Morning Message more helpful. I look forward to hearing from you. My email address is hope you enjoy today’s Saturday Morning Message.

Carol Lane
Mother of Bryon


Answers from Survivors

Responses from Survivors to the question: What is a time or place that you feel close to your loved one?

From Beth, ex-wife of Thomas: My former spouse, Tom, who was a former Marine Reserves staff sergeant, loved going to a shooting range, scuba diving and visiting air museums. I have relocated to another part of the state, but whenever I drive by a shooting range, air museum, or see an ad for scuba certification, I think about how he would have loved to see those new places and the wonderful memories that we had doing those things.

From Tabitha, wife of Michael: My husband was a musician. He took such pride from his playing. I was in awe of skills. He played a lot of music video games like Rock Band. He made videos online in the hundreds and was well liked. Now, whenever I hear a mean guitar solo, I feel so close to him. Like he's playing it right there for me.

From Samira, mother of Andres: I incorporate memories from my son, Andres, every day of my life. I have everything from his belongings. I sleep with one of his pillows. I go to his room and I feel his presence. I go to the Disney theme parks and enjoy being there. Sometimes I cry. I go everywhere I went with Andres. This is the only way I have survived.

If you would like to send a message thanking one or all of those who participated in this week’s Saturday Morning Message, send it to me at and I will make sure your thoughts are passed along to them.


Question for Next Week’s Saturday Morning Message

There are many events TAPS plans for survivors. Your response to this week’s question may help some survivors decide if they would like to join one. So the question is: What TAPS seminar or retreat have you attended and what did you like best about it? We look forward to your responses. 

We can honor our loved ones by communicating with each other through writing. You never know how your words may touch the heart of another. I encourage you to reply to the Saturday Morning Message by emailing I directly receive all responses that are sent to this address. In order to have your reply included in the week’s Saturday Morning Message, it is best to send it to me by Tuesday morning of the following week. Thank you to everyone responding this week and those who read this message.


♫ Song for the Week

This week Leslie, mother of Eugene, sent a combination of a response and a song, so I thought her thoughts were perfect for this section. She wrote about playing piano at a concert at which she felt her son’s and dad’s presence. Leslie wrote, “I feel especially close to my son when I perform. I feel he is listening from the audience. I feel his smile and support. I performed today as a celebration of my dad’s (US Navy Seabee) life. I performed solo piano, duets and two piano works with friends. It was wonderful. My dad and my son were very close. I felt them there.” Liszt’s  Sonetto del Petrarca 104 is one of the songs she played. There isn’t a video of Leslie playing, so the link shows classical pianist and composer Vladimir Horowitz performing.

You can send me favorite songs for this song of the week section at


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Visit the TAPS Online Community Calendar for this week's schedule of text and video chats and other offerings. We have a virtual gathering most days of the week. Whether you want to share your story or just read how other survivors are sharing and coping, this online grief support community is a way for you to develop and strengthen your connections with TAPS.

Other Items and Events of Interest

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Breath of Fresh Air With TAPS Outdoors - Season 2

The Breath of Fresh Air series, presented by TAPS Outdoors, is for everyone and requires no previous outdoor experience! With bi-weekly videos and Campfire Chats, we'll help you find the right tips, tools and tricks to navigate the wilds of our natural world and the wilds of your grief.

In Season 2: Sowing Seeds, we will utilize the skills we developed over winter to plant seeds of hope for the flourishing summer ahead. Spring is the season of new beginnings, and we look forward to preparing the ground, planting seeds and growing with you in the journey to blooms. The official launch date is Wednesday, March 3.

Free Webinars Presented by the TAPS Institute for Hope and Healing®

Gain valuable information and coping strategies through the TAPS Institute for Hope and Healing. In February, you have two opportunities to participate in free online sessions. 

You can discover all the opportunities to connect with your TAPS family on our website at the TAPS Event Calendar.

We're All In This Together

COVID-19 Support and Resources

At TAPS, we’re no stranger to challenging times, and we’re all doing our part to support one another and get through these difficult times together. As always, TAPS is here 24/7, and our team is working hard to provide resources, services and support to surviving military families as they navigate the challenges of COVID-19. For more information or questions, visit our COVID-19 Response and Resources page or please email us at

Choose TAPS as Your AmazonSmile Charity of Choice

AmazonSmile is a simple way for you to support TAPS every time you shop, at no cost to you. Visit, log in, and select TAPS as your charity of choice. Amazon will give 0.5% of your eligible purchases to TAPS.

About the Saturday Morning Message

The Saturday Morning Message (SMM) is a weekly communication; written and contributed to by survivors. The primary focus of the Saturday Morning Message is to foster peer-based connection for support and encouragement.  It is the goal of this communication to foster a safe, supportive atmosphere where we can openly share in a non-judgmental and caring manner. Read and contribute as you are comfortable, and explore any opinions/ideas shared that are most beneficial to you on your individual journey. Content submitted for inclusion in the Saturday Morning Message is edited for spacing considerations, grammatical corrections and may be used in other TAPS publications.  

To subscribe or contribute to the Saturday Morning Message email

If you ever need to speak to someone regarding an urgent matter or just need a listening ear, the loving family at TAPS is available to you 24 hours a day. Please feel free to contact TAPS at 202-588-8277.