Saturday Morning Message: Survivor Tips For Tough Times

Author: Carol Lane

Good Morning,

Compassion is the main ingredient in helping to get through tough times. The picture today shows two people just listening to each other. I have found friends from different parts of the country at a TAPS event with whom I continue to stay in contact. Last week I posted a link to finding an event close to you, but there might be something farther away that is of interest. In that case, go to the TAPS events section of our website. Survivors have also written their ideas in the response section of this message. Enjoy all the ideas.

Survivors chat at TAPS Seminar

Remember, you can write to me anytime just to communicate or if you have thoughts on what could make the Saturday Morning Message more helpful. I look forward to hearing from you. My email address is

Carol Lane
Mother of Bryon


Question for Next Week’s Saturday Morning Message 

This week the question will be a bit different than the ones we have had recently. The question is: Describe one thing that will tell us about your loved one. It can be a serious or a funny detail. Looking forward to the responses and meeting your loved ones. 

Questions are thebackbone of the Saturday Morning Message. In order to keep the Saturday Morning Message fresh, I am looking for more questions. If you have questions or topics you would like to see addressed in the Saturday Morning Message, you can email me at I directly receive all responses that are sent to this address. Replies to the weekly question are best sent to me by Tuesday morning. You are an important part of this message, and I look forward to your questions or any ideas you may have. 


♫ Song for the Week

This week’s song is from a woman who goes to my church who knows that I have a song section in the Saturday Morning Message. It is "A Point of Light” sung by Randy Travis. She thought it would be appropriate: “All it takes is a point of light, a ray of hope on the darkest night” — let TAPS be a point of light for those who are living their darkest nights in grief.

You can send me favorite songs for this song of the week section at



Responses from Survivors to last week’s question: What is something you use as a tool to help you when grief gets tough?

From Cheryl, mother of Jack: When I saw this, I thought of a list and I don't think just one tool works each time; like the toolbox, I have different ones for different times. One I use is a playlist of music. Walking or running, petting my dogs or my cat, going to talk to my therapist, sometimes I send out a text to some family and friends and tell them and ask them to pray and check in with me. I go and sit and watch a sunset or sunrise by a lake nearby. Sometimes I do yoga, sometimes it is visiting my memory of Jack, other times it is not visiting those memories! Sometimes I weep and mourn for Jack. And that is the tool I needed.

I might have a pretty big toolbox, and part of a garage full of tools. Some days I have to get out quite an assortment of those tools, some days just one. And all or any are OK.

From Belinda, mother of Benjamin: My faith in God is what sustains me through everything. Today is Benjamin's birthday and instead of allowing grief to take over, I focus on God's grace and mercy and the knowledge He's given me in believing and knowing I'll see and be with Benjamin for all eternity — which is a lot longer than I'll be here on earth.

If you would like to send a message thanking one or all of those who participated in this week’s Saturday Morning Message, send it to me at and I will make sure your thoughts are passed along to them.

Other Items and Events of Interest

Arlington Cemetery family at headstone

Join us on Memorial Day Weekend, May 28 to 30, for our 27th Annual National Military Survivor Seminar! We will be live streaming all of our general sessions with guest speakers.

Important Note: In-person registration is still open, but we are in a waitlist situation due to COVID occupancy restrictions in the State of Virginia. 

If you have any questions, email or call our Helpline at 202.588.TAPS (8277).

Learn More and Register


▶▶  Connect With Your TAPS Family 

You can discover all the opportunities to connect with your TAPS Family on our website at the TAPS Event Calendar.

About the Saturday Morning Message

The Saturday Morning Message (SMM) is a weekly communication contributed by survivors. The primary focus of the SMM is to foster peer-based connections for support and encouragement. It is the goal of this communication to foster a safe, supportive place where we can openly share in a nonjudgmental and caring manner. Read and contribute as you are comfortable. Content submitted for the SMM is edited for space considerations and may be used in other TAPS publications. The loving family at TAPS is available to you 24 hours a day. Please call 202-588-TAPS (8277).