Saturday Morning Message: Survivor Tips For Tough Times

Author: Carol Lane

Good Morning,

Compassion is the main ingredient in helping to get through tough times. The picture today shows two people just listening to each other. I have found friends from different parts of the country at a TAPS event with whom I continue to stay in contact. Last week I posted a link to finding an event close to you, but there might be something farther away that is of interest. In that case, go to the TAPS events section of our website. Survivors have also written their ideas in the response section of this message. Enjoy all the ideas.

Survivors chat at TAPS Seminar

Remember, you can write to me anytime just to communicate or if you have thoughts on what could make the Saturday Morning Message more helpful. I look forward to hearing from you. My email address is

Carol Lane
Mother of Bryon


Question for Next Week’s Saturday Morning Message 

This week the question will be a bit different than the ones we have had recently. The question is: Describe one thing that will tell us about your loved one. It can be a serious or a funny detail. Looking forward to the responses and meeting your loved ones. 

Questions are thebackbone of the Saturday Morning Message. In order to keep the Saturday Morning Message fresh, I am looking for more questions. If you have questions or topics you would like to see addressed in the Saturday Morning Message, you can email me at I directly receive all responses that are sent to this address. Replies to the weekly question are best sent to me by Tuesday morning. You are an important part of this message, and I look forward to your questions or any ideas you may have. 


♫ Song for the Week

This week’s song is from a woman who goes to my church who knows that I have a song section in the Saturday Morning Message. It is "A Point of Light” sung by Randy Travis. She thought it would be appropriate: “All it takes is a point of light, a ray of hope on the darkest night” — let TAPS be a point of light for those who are living their darkest nights in grief.

You can send me favorite songs for this song of the week section at



Responses from Survivors to last week’s question: What is something you use as a tool to help you when grief gets tough?

From Cheryl, mother of Jack: When I saw this, I thought of a list and I don't think just one tool works each time; like the toolbox, I have different ones for different times. One I use is a playlist of music. Walking or running, petting my dogs or my cat, going to talk to my therapist, sometimes I send out a text to some family and friends and tell them and ask them to pray and check in with me. I go and sit and watch a sunset or sunrise by a lake nearby. Sometimes I do yoga, sometimes it is visiting my memory of Jack, other times it is not visiting those memories! Sometimes I weep and mourn for Jack. And that is the tool I needed.

I might have a pretty big toolbox, and part of a garage full of tools. Some days I have to get out quite an assortment of those tools, some days just one. And all or any are OK.

From Belinda, mother of Benjamin: My faith in God is what sustains me through everything. Today is Benjamin's birthday and instead of allowing grief to take over, I focus on God's grace and mercy and the knowledge He's given me in believing and knowing I'll see and be with Benjamin for all eternity — which is a lot longer than I'll be here on earth.

If you would like to send a message thanking one or all of those who participated in this week’s Saturday Morning Message, send it to me at and I will make sure your thoughts are passed along to them.


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Visit the TAPS Online Community Calendar for this week's schedule of text and video chats and other offerings. We have a virtual gathering most days of the week. Whether you want to share your story or just read how other survivors are sharing and coping, this online grief support community is a way for you to develop and strengthen your connections with TAPS.

Other Items and Events of Interest

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This Summer, Youth Programs is hosting TAPS Good Grief and Family Camp at Home through August 28. Each week, there are activities and challenges you can complete individually and as a family. Missed a week? No problem - all activities and challenges from previous weeks are available online. Join us for opportunities for you and the kids to connect to mentors and other families through Zoom sessions.

Make plans to join us for our next Virtual Military Survivor Seminar, August 21 and 22. We have new, dynamic sessions available throughout the weekend at no cost, with all of the resources, care and love we can offer, coming to you in the comfort of your home. We'll also have Share Groups, our facilitated support groups, where you can meet other survivors with similar loss experience. We look forward to seeing you online soon!

Save the date! Please join us for the Military Survivor New to Grief Seminar, once per week from September 3 to 24. Together we will work toward two primary goals. First, we will grow deeper understandings as we deconstruct myths about grief, explore the cognitive and physical impacts of grief, and seek to establish a helpful language around our own experiences. Second, we will establish community among our peers so that we have others who have a strong desire to accompany us as we continue navigating the ups and downs of our loss and grief.

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Did you lose your loved on due to an illness loss

If your military loved one suffered with a wound, illness, or injury, please consider taking our new Illness Loss Survivor Survey before August 18th, 2020, so TAPS can honor your loved one through our advocacy efforts. If you took the survey last year, we ask that you retake it as we've made important updates. Your response could help shape policy and legislation, and direct future TAPS programs and services. To learn more, email

Have you lost your job, or have reduced work hours? Or are otherwise affected by COVID-19? If you are grieving the death of a loved one, and their life included military service, we'd like to hear from you. Your feedback will be used to improve TAPS programs and to communicate survivor needs to donors and stakeholders. Tell us more.

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AmazonSmile is a simple way for you to support TAPS every time you shop, at no cost to you. Visit, log in, and select TAPS as your charity of choice. Amazon will give 0.5% of your eligible purchases to TAPS.

About the Saturday Morning Message

The Saturday Morning Message (SMM) is a weekly communication; written and contributed to by survivors. The primary focus of the Saturday Morning Message is to foster peer-based connection for support and encouragement.  It is the goal of this communication to foster a safe, supportive atmosphere where we can openly share in a non-judgmental and caring manner. Read and contribute as you are comfortable, and explore any opinions/ideas shared that are most beneficial to you on your individual journey. Content submitted for inclusion in the Saturday Morning Message is edited for spacing considerations, grammatical corrections and may be used in other TAPS publications.  

To subscribe or contribute to the Saturday Morning Message email

If you ever need to speak to someone regarding an urgent matter or just need a listening ear, the loving family at TAPS is available to you 24 hours a day. Please feel free to contact TAPS at 800-959-8277.