Saturday Morning Message: Words of Comfort

Author: Carol Lane

Good morning,

One thing that many survivors think is helpful is a listening ear. That is where our TAPS family is so special. We are just waiting to hear about your loved one and offer you support when you most need it. There are so many ways TAPS can help you as you walk on this grief journey. This picture was taken at the Northeast Regional Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp in New Jersey. You can see how two survivors are enjoying each other’s company. TAPS also offers other ways to connect you with others who know the overpowering feelings of grief through peer mentors, chat groups, seminars, and retreats.

TAPS Survivors sharing words of comfort

Remember, you can write to me anytime — to contribute, subscribe or if you have thoughts on what could make the Saturday Morning Message more helpful. I look forward to hearing from you. My email address is

Carol Lane
Mother of Bryon


Answers from Survivors

Responses from Survivors to last week's question:What words of comfort would you like to receive from someone who might not know what you need?

This week survivors share the words they would like to hear in this section of the Saturday Morning Message. More survivor responses can be found on the TAPS Facebook page.

From Shelton, father of Adam: You are loved and needed! We will share this journey together!

From Leslie, mother of Eugene: I would have liked someone to tell me the truth. I would have liked to know that when I lost my son the pain was going to be unimaginable. I would have liked to know that time wouldn’t heal, but that I was going to live a new normal. I would have liked to know it’s OK to laugh and smile and love again. I would have liked someone to hug me and tell me no matter how much I need to scream or rant, they were going to be there. Some did this. I would have liked to know that I would live through all of this and be able to help others.

From Robin, mother of Alexander: I am sorry that this time of the year is extra hard for you since Alexander’s birthday was the 23rd and his dad’s is the 24th with Christmas the next day. Christmas will always be extra empty and emotional watching his baby open presents and not seeing how much his daddy loved Christmas.

If you would like to send a message thanking one or all of those who participated in this week’s Saturday Morning Message, send it to me at and I will make sure your thoughts are passed along to them.


Question for Next Week’s Saturday Morning Message 

As the cold weather seems to have suddenly appeared across the country, we pull out our warm coats and cozy sweaters to comfort us. Some of us even take out our special quilts and blankets that do more than keep us warm — they remind us of our loved one who's no longer with us. We can wrap ourselves up in a soft blanket, and remember our enduring love. Do you have a special quilt or blanket that makes you think of your fallen hero? We'd love to see it! Please share a photo and tell us why it means so much to you. When you send them in, you agree to give TAPS permission to publish them on our website. 

The Saturday Morning Message was created so survivors can share questions and read how others respond. By sharing coping strategies, together we become stronger. I am always looking for questions for future messages. You never know how your words may touch the heart of another. I encourage you to reply to the Saturday Morning Message by emailing I directly receive all responses that are sent to this address. In order to have your reply included in the week’s Saturday Morning Message, it is best to send your response to me by Tuesday morning of the following week. Thank you to everyone responding this week and those who read this message.


♫ Song for the Week

This week’s song is from Robin, spouse of Alex. She suggested the High Kings’ new Christmas song, “Christmas the Way I Remember” for this week’s song of the week. 

You can send me favorite songs for this song of the week section at and include a note about why the song is meaningful to you.


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Visit the TAPS Online Community Calendar for this week's schedule of text and video chats and other offerings. We have a virtual gathering most days of the week. Whether you want to share your story or just read how other survivors are sharing and coping, this online grief support community is a way for you to develop and strengthen your connections with TAPS.

Other Items and Events of Interest

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The TAPS National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar is going virtual. Held October 16-18, you will hear from others who have walked the road you are traveling. Sessions will offer vital information on anxiety, loss and family dynamics, talking to children and more. The grief that follows suicide loss can be uniquely complicated. You are not alone, and we invite you to join us for a time of hope and healing. 

Celebrating 20 Years of Team TAPS 

For 20 years, Team TAPS has honored our heroes and raised awareness and funds to support the TAPS mission. This year, in celebration of our 20th anniversary, we are coming together to create a virtual movement. We will walk, run, bike, swim, and row - find ways to move in honor of our loved ones. We will gain strength, go the distance, and encourage each other. Join us for this adventure

You can discover all the opportunities to connect with your TAPS family on our website at the TAPS Event Calendar.

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We're all in this together

Have you lost your job or have reduced household income? How has the pandemic made an impact on your life? If you are grieving the death of a loved one, and their life included military service, we'd like to hear from you.

Your feedback will be used to improve TAPS programs and to communicate survivor needs to donors and stakeholders. Please share how COVID-19 has impacted you by taking our survey.


Did you lose your loved on due to an illness loss

If your military loved one suffered with a wound, illness, or injury, please consider taking our new Illness Loss Survivor Survey, so TAPS can honor your loved one through our advocacy efforts.

If you took the survey last year, we ask that you retake it as we've made important updates. Your response could help shape policy and legislation, and direct future TAPS programs and services. To learn more, email

Those who take either survey will receive a discount to the TAPS store for providing this important and valuable feedback.

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AmazonSmile is a simple way for you to support TAPS every time you shop, at no cost to you. Visit, log in, and select TAPS as your charity of choice. Amazon will give 0.5% of your eligible purchases to TAPS.

About the Saturday Morning Message

The Saturday Morning Message (SMM) is a weekly communication; written and contributed to by survivors. The primary focus of the Saturday Morning Message is to foster peer-based connection for support and encouragement.  It is the goal of this communication to foster a safe, supportive atmosphere where we can openly share in a non-judgmental and caring manner. Read and contribute as you are comfortable, and explore any opinions/ideas shared that are most beneficial to you on your individual journey. Content submitted for inclusion in the Saturday Morning Message is edited for spacing considerations, grammatical corrections and may be used in other TAPS publications.  

To subscribe or contribute to the Saturday Morning Message email

If you ever need to speak to someone regarding an urgent matter or just need a listening ear, the loving family at TAPS is available to you 24 hours a day. Please feel free to contact TAPS at 800-959-8277.