Saturday Morning Message: Self-Care

Author: Carol Lane

Good Morning,

Helping others is something many of us do gladly, whether it is helping family members or volunteering for an organization in our community. When it comes to self-care it seems that it is much harder to put into our schedule. Grieving can be hard on our minds and bodies, so doing something for ourselves increases our ability to deal with the emotions that come.

In putting together the message for this week, I was looking through the TAPS Magazine archives. There I found an article written by Judy Tatelbaum, titled Tips for Self-Care. In it she writes about survivor’s different needs when it comes to taking a bit of time for ourselves. She wrote a list of self-care activities that you might find helpful. In addition to diet and exercise which are the first thoughts that come to most of our minds, she also lists some other activities you might not think about, like rest, time to watch a favorite TV show, time away from home, and many more. This short article is worth reading.

Ocean and beach

The picture this week is of the beach at Wells, Maine which is where my family went on a short trip a few weeks ago. There is nothing I like better than sitting on the beach and listening to the waves. Then I take some pictures, so when I need a break at home, I just bring up the picture, close my eyes and think about sitting on the beach.

I hope you will find the ideas for self-care in today’s Saturday Morning Message helpful.

Remember, you can write to me anytime just to communicate or if you have thoughts on what could make the Saturday Morning Message more helpful. I look forward to hearing from you. My email address is

Carol Lane
Mother of Bryon


Question for Next Week’s Saturday Morning Message 

At the beginning of October, the full schedule of fall and early winter holiday events start happening. This can be a difficult time of the year, but sharing our memories of the time we spent with our loved ones helps us celebrate the lives and also introduces those who read the Saturday Morning Message to your loved one. The question is: What is a holiday tradition that you enjoyed with your loved one?  We look forward to your responses. 

Questions are the backbone of the Saturday Morning Message. In order to keep the Saturday Morning Message fresh, I am looking for more questions. If you have questions or topics you would like to see addressed in the Saturday Morning Message, you can email me at I directly receive all responses that are sent to this address. Replies to the weekly question are best sent to me by Tuesday morning. You are an important part of this message, and I look forward to your questions or any ideas you may have.


♫ Song for the Week

Leslie, mother of Eugene sent the song this week which is We Will Meet Once Again sung by Josh Groban and Andrea Bocelli. This is a powerful song, sung in Italian, so here is the English translation.

We Will Meet Once Again

Sorry but it is difficult to talk
When there is so little time
I would like to tell you so many things
But I can't find the words

Thank you for having given me
The patience of heroes, the courage
I would like to have you always here by my side
I am sure: we will meet once again

How much this life has to teach
I know it is my turn now
Inside the smile of a child
There is already the man he will be when he
grows up 

Sorry for the hugs a bit faked
That I understood too late
Of course, the experience can't be taught
But it is learned with love 

Thank you for having given me
The hope of gods, the forgiveness
I would like to walk in silence
By your side, we will meet once
I would like to always walk by your side
I am sure: we will meet
Once again 

You can send me favorite songs for this song of the week section at


Answers from Survivors

Responses from Survivors to last week’s question: What have you done lately to take care of yourself?

From Sandra, mother of Joshua: I lost my oldest son to brain cancer 18 months ago. I struggle to take care of myself. Grief can sometimes drive me to stay inside and isolate myself. Also, daily life demands can get in my way while family responsibilities tend to dominate my life. That being said, I still have the responsibility to take care of myself and get better.

I swim three days a week, attend a grief group on Sundays, join the TAPS online chat once or twice a week, and stay in touch with TAPS. I also attend TAPS seminars and have attended one TAPS retreat. I try to eat healthy, but that is a huge challenge. I just put a sign on my refrigerator that reminds me to think of three things every morning that I am grateful for.

Laying around doing nothing is the worst thing I can do. I get up, take a shower, and change into a T-shirt and jeans. Small actions like sitting on the patio in the morning with a cup of hot freshly brewed coffee, splurging on a latte at Starbucks, watching a special movie, or sipping a cup of herbal tea in the evening can be self-care. Indulging in a special face moisturizer or buying scented body wash and lotion help lift my spirits. My son used to buy me gifts all of the time. My favorite gift was Bath & Body gift cards.  

Grief is tough and the loss of my oldest son has devastated me. Some days are good and some are bad. On the really bad days, I call TAPS. I have only called them a few times, but I know that they are there for me 24/7 to listen, talk, and support me.

If you would like to send a message thanking the participant in this week’s Saturday Morning Message, send it to me at and I will make sure your thoughts are passed along.


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Visit the TAPS Online Community Calendar for this week's schedule of text and video chats and other offerings. We have a virtual gathering most days of the week. Whether you want to share your story or just read how other survivors are sharing and coping, this online grief support community is a way for you to develop and strengthen your connections with TAPS.

Other Items and Events of Interest

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Dare to Lead - Cohort 3

Whether you are looking to enhance your resume or just want to pick up a new skill or two, we are excited to offer a third cohort of our popular Dare to Lead series of workshops, beginning on Sunday, November 15. These sessions are open to TAPS Survivors wanting to bring more courage to their workplace, home, community, or school. It is applicable for both formal and informal leaders (all of us), executives, visionaries, and healers across all spectrums.

Central Regional Seminar 

Join us at the Central Regional Seminar on  November 13 to 15 for a time of sharing, hope, and healing. Our seminars are designed to meet you where you are and help you gain coping skills that will help you find meaning and purpose as you move forward on your grief journey. We are working to make arrangements for this event with safety in mind and look forward to being together again. Thanks to the generosity of our sponsors, TAPS provides all lodging, meals, materials, activities, and T-shirts at no cost to you.

Set Sail with Your TAPS Family! 

This summer, sail with your TAPS Family on the TAPS Alaska Cruise from July 30 to August 10, 2021, through the inside passage to Alaska onboard Royal Caribbean's Radiance of the Seas! While onboard, TAPS will have a variety of programs and activities available for you and we will gather each evening for a TAPS Family dinner. And to give you peace of mind, Royal Caribbean has extended their “Cruise with Confidence” program through the end of November. Anyone who books a cabin under that program will be able to cancel up to 48 hours before sailing (for any reason) and receive 100% future credit.

A Breath of Fresh Air

We want to help you reconnect with nature in simple, yet meaningful ways with monthly themes and weekly activities you can do anywhere. Join us as we navigate the wilds of our natural world and the wilds of your grief. You will have access to downloadable content, videos, and articles each week and a family campfire at the end of each month! Find nature where you live, whether it be in your community or your own backyard. Join in our activities and snap a photo to share with us. Let's join together for a Breath of Fresh Air!

You can discover all the opportunities to connect with your TAPS family on our website at the TAPS Event Calendar.

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Choose TAPS as Your AmazonSmile Charity of Choice

AmazonSmile is a simple way for you to support TAPS every time you shop, at no cost to you. Visit, log in, and select TAPS as your charity of choice. Amazon will give 0.5% of your eligible purchases to TAPS.

About the Saturday Morning Message

The Saturday Morning Message (SMM) is a weekly communication; written and contributed to by survivors. The primary focus of the Saturday Morning Message is to foster peer-based connection for support and encouragement.  It is the goal of this communication to foster a safe, supportive atmosphere where we can openly share in a non-judgmental and caring manner. Read and contribute as you are comfortable, and explore any opinions/ideas shared that are most beneficial to you on your individual journey. Content submitted for inclusion in the Saturday Morning Message is edited for spacing considerations, grammatical corrections and may be used in other TAPS publications.  

To subscribe or contribute to the Saturday Morning Message email

If you ever need to speak to someone regarding an urgent matter or just need a listening ear, the loving family at TAPS is available to you 24 hours a day. Please feel free to contact TAPS at 800-959-8277.