Saturday Morning Message: Dreams Part 1

Author: Carol Lane

Good Morning,

Dreams not only come at night, but sometimes on a warm sunny day, we can be relaxing and fall into a gentle sleep, so that is why I chose this picture. The responders this week talk about a variety of times their loved ones came to them in a dream and the feelings around it. I know you will enjoy the replies that came in answer to this week’s question.


Remember, you can write to me anytime just to communicate or if you have thoughts on what could make the Saturday Morning Message more helpful. I look forward to hearing from you. My email address is

Carol Lane
Mother of Bryon


Question for Next Week’s Saturday Morning Message 

There were so many interesting replies to the dream question, that I thought I would share the responses over the next two weeks. In this way others who read this week’s message and haven’t responded yet might want to share a dream with us. There will be plenty of room for more dreams in next week’s message, so the question will remain: Has a loved one come to you in a dream? How did it make you feel? What was remarkable about it? 

Questions are the backbone of the Saturday Morning Message. In order to keep the Saturday Morning Message fresh, I am looking for more questions. If you have questions or topics you would like to see addressed in the Saturday Morning Message, you can email me at I directly receive all responses that are sent to this address. Replies to the weekly question are best sent to me by Tuesday morning. You are an important part of this message, and I look forward to your questions or any ideas you may have.


♫ Song for the Week

Laura, mother of Aaron, sent the song this week. Laura wrote, “At our symphony's Halloween concert last Saturday, the choir sang a song "Remember Me", from the movie Coco. The lyrics touched me and, of course, I thought of my son, Aaron, who was killed in action in Afghanistan on April 23, 2013. I will surely never forget my beloved boy who grew up to live his dream of becoming a helicopter pilot.” 

One suggestion a survivor had was to include a song of the week, which is now a weekly feature. If you have a song that is special to you or reminds you of your loved one, please send it along with a sentence or two about what makes this song meaningful to you. One of our contributors, Andy, father of Danny, makes a playlist on Spotify of the songs that appear in the Saturday Morning Messages along with a few other songs special to him. You can sign up for Spotify for free to listen to the playlist. The playlist is called Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors Songs of Love and Remembrance. You can send me favorite songs for this song of the week section at


Answers from Survivors

Responses from Survivors to last week’s question: Has a loved one come to you in a dream? How did it make you feel? What was remarkable about it?

From Linda, mother of Christopher: I love sharing the story of the first time my son, Chris, came to me. I will start with the ending. I woke up to buckets of tears pouring down the sides of my face and a smile I couldn’t stop. I could hardly speak. I remember muttering these words to my daughter: “Chris, I saw Chris!” And that’s exactly what happened. I do believe my son came to me in my sleep, not like any dream I’ve ever experienced. He was right there with me. The first clear look of his face showed such joy. A joy which we here on Earth will never experience. I knew at that moment all pain, hurt, worries, struggle from life was gone. Pure joy, that’s all I saw.

From Barbara, mother of David: My son, David, seems to appear in my dreams regularly.  He died five years ago, but I didn't dream of him for the first year. The first time I was startled, yet so happy.  Now I am mostly happy when I dream of him. He appears in all different ages sometimes as a little boy, sometimes as a man. I hope I never stop dreaming...

From Nichole, sister of Michael: Lately I have been having a tough time struggling with anxiety, but luckily, I have had my amazing husband by my side to help me through it. My husband has never met my brother and I really think he was put into my life as a gift from my brother. My husband had a dream where my brother came and talked to him. My brother thanked him for taking care of me and assured him everything would be OK. To me, this is such a blessing. I love that my husband can have this connection with my brother although they have never met in person. It's also nice to feel the warmth and reassurance that it is going to be OK. I know I have these two amazing men by my side protecting me.

From Sandra, mother of Joshua: I lost my son to brain cancer last year. I have always wanted to believe that when a loved one who has died comes to you in a dream, and is happy and in good health, then it is really your loved one visiting you. My first dream of my son is vivid. Josh is laying sideways on my bed with his arm stretched out in a V shape to support his head. I am sleeping, but I somehow know it is a dream. The room is dark but there is light coming in from the hallway. He is the perfect size and there is not one ounce of extra fat on him. He is wearing a long sleeve country western shirt with blue jeans and a belt. His clothes fit him to a tee and his hair is cut short. He looks perfect. He tells me that he is doing fine and he appears happy. We chat for a few minutes. We talked a bit more and then he told me that he was going in the other room to talk to his dad. I assumed that he was going to come back. My son did not return. In the second dream, probably just a subliminal dream, Josh was driving a huge RV. His daddy was sitting in the passenger seat. I was sitting way back in the RV. Josh was driving really fast and the RV was speeding down the highway and seemed to roll back and forth on the road. It was frightening.

Last night, after saving this draft of my response, I had my third dream. Josh and I were at someone else’s house. I was sitting down and he was sitting on a bar stool at a table. He was in running attire and healthy and looked glad to see me. I knew it was a dream and that he had died. Josh looked so real. I told him that. I hesitated, but touched him on his leg a few times to see if he was solid or translucent. I stood up from my seat and we hugged each other twice. It was wonderful and just like old times. In reality, I was not able to tell my son goodbye and it has plagued me. I would like to believe that Josh's visit in my dream last night and the warm embraces that followed was my son's way of making that possible.

From Valerie, wife of Steven: My husband visits often in my daily life now, but also in my dreams here and there. The first time he came through to me was about four days after he died. He came to tell me that he was OK, that his pain was gone, and not to worry about him. He would be around to check on me and the boys from time to time if I didn't mind. He looked so good, so healthy. It was truly amazing! I didn't know at the time that this was going to be so helpful for me in my journey through the grieving process. He taught me to accept his presence and not to be afraid, because it was only him. I thank God he let me know that he was going on to his next journey. After some time, I was able to find the positive out of his first visit and again he was taking care of me even after his death!

From Dawn, mother of Jeremiah: In the horrendously long nights immediately following our notification of Jeremiah's death, I actually fell asleep once or twice. In a semi-wakeful state, I felt a hand on my shoulder. Thinking it was my husband's and wanting to comfort him in return, I placed my hand over his. My husband's hand was not there. I know it was Jeremiah, letting me know that we were going to be OK. Certainly not right then, but he let me know he was with me with that touch. He wasn't big on words, but always tactile. That touch continues to remind me to be open to things I can't necessarily see or touch. 

If you would like to send a message thanking the participant in this week’s Saturday Morning Message, send it to me at and I will make sure your thoughts are passed along.


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Visit the TAPS Online Community Calendar for this week's schedule of text and video chats and other offerings. We have a virtual gathering most days of the week. Whether you want to share your story or just read how other survivors are sharing and coping, this online grief support community is a way for you to develop and strengthen your connections with TAPS.

Other Items and Events of Interest

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Women's Empowerment Programming

If you’re looking to connect with other surviving women, you may just find your sisterhood during our fall weekly Women’s Empowerment sessions! These sessions are open to all TAPS women wrestling with questions of identity and purpose after loss. You can join this safe, supportive online environment via webcam. Our weekly schedule offers sessions on Tuesday through Friday each week.

Central Regional Seminar 

Join us at the Central Regional Seminar on  November 13 to 15 for a time of sharing, hope, and healing. Our seminars are designed to meet you where you are and help you gain coping skills that will help you find meaning and purpose as you move forward on your grief journey. We are working to make arrangements for this event with safety in mind and look forward to being together again. Thanks to the generosity of our sponsors, TAPS provides all lodging, meals, materials, activities, and T-shirts at no cost to you.

Dare to Lead - Cohort 3

Whether you are looking to enhance your resume or just want to pick up a new skill or two, we are excited to offer a third cohort of our popular Dare to Lead series of workshops, beginning on Sunday, November 15. These sessions are open to TAPS Survivors wanting to bring more courage to their workplace, home, community, or school. It is applicable for both formal and informal leaders (all of us), executives, visionaries, and healers across all spectrums.

Creating New Holiday Traditions - Webinar

Accessing a spirit of holiday cheer in the midst of grief can be challenging and many may feel compelled to skip the holidays altogether. Especially this year, when so many gatherings and travel may be limited, cultivating holiday traditions that honor your grief and promote connection with others can be very healing. Join the TAPS Institute to discuss creative ways to engage in the holidays in ways that meet you where you are in your grief journey. This Creating New Holiday Traditions webinar is free and will be held Thursday, November 19 from 12:00 to- 1:00 p.m. Eastern. 

You can discover all the opportunities to connect with your TAPS family on our website at the TAPS Event Calendar.

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About the Saturday Morning Message

The Saturday Morning Message (SMM) is a weekly communication; written and contributed to by survivors. The primary focus of the Saturday Morning Message is to foster peer-based connection for support and encouragement.  It is the goal of this communication to foster a safe, supportive atmosphere where we can openly share in a non-judgmental and caring manner. Read and contribute as you are comfortable, and explore any opinions/ideas shared that are most beneficial to you on your individual journey. Content submitted for inclusion in the Saturday Morning Message is edited for spacing considerations, grammatical corrections and may be used in other TAPS publications.  

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If you ever need to speak to someone regarding an urgent matter or just need a listening ear, the loving family at TAPS is available to you 24 hours a day. Please feel free to contact TAPS at 800-959-8277.