Saturday Morning Message: Take Some Time to Take Care

Author: Carol Lane

Good Morning,

As we come to the beginning of 2019, it might be interesting to think about treating yourself well since the passing season might have been very stressful especially for those who are grieving. In the TAPS Magazine’s winter 2015 issue, there is an article titled "Seven Strategies for the New Year" written by Brad Stetson. In it he encourages some activities that might be a help to comfort yourself. The article contains more of his thoughts on each item.

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Brad Stetson’s List: 

1. Write yourself a comforting and encouraging letter. You are worthy of being comforted and encouraged, too. 

2. Buy a big calendar, and use it. Start filling your days with appointments—especially with yourself. 

3. Move your body, move your mind. It's vital to get outside and move, not necessarily to exercise, just to move. 

4. Realize that you do not need to "understand" your grief right now. Time will help you clear your mind, and you will eventually be able to address your loss, the pain it has brought you and the changes in your life that have ensued. 

5. Decide that in the New Year, you will begin to focus a bit more on others, as a part of your loved one's legacy. We all need to get outside of ourselves and focus on other people and their problems. 

6. Listen to the music. Music is therapeutic and healing. 

7. Wishing you well. What would your loved one wanted for you in the New Year? 

Next week’s message will center around the ideas that you might have to treat yourself thathave  come in over the holidays. We all look forward to reading some of the ideas from those who responded. 

The Saturday Morning Message was created so survivors can share questions and read how others respond. By sharing coping strategies, together we become stronger. I am always looking for questions for future messages. 

You never know how your words may touch the heart of another. I encourage you to reply to the Saturday Morning Message by emailing I directly receive all responses that are sent to this address.

Carol Lane
Mother of Bryon


Question for Next Week’s Saturday Morning Message 

Because of the holiday, I am continuing to collect responses to the question: What have you done recently or what do you plan to do to take care of yourself? The responses will appear in the January 5 Saturday Morning Message. 

I encourage you to reply to the Saturday Morning Message by emailing Thank you to everyone responding this week and those who read this message.


♫ Song for the Week

From Hope, wife of Dennis: I felt the song "I Will Not Say Goodbye" sung by Danny Gokey hit home. It touched my heart so I put it on my Facebook page and recorded it on my phone to listen to when I am angry or sad or missing Dennis. I have laughed and cried, shook my fist at the sky, but I will never say goodbye.

You can send me favorite songs for this song of the week section at I directly receive all responses that are sent to this address.


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Visit the TAPS Online Community Calendar for this week's schedule of text and video chats and other offerings. We have a virtual gathering most days of the week. Whether you want to share your story or just read how other survivors are sharing and coping, this online grief support community is a way for you to develop and strengthen your connections with TAPS.

Other Items and Events of Interest

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Dare to Lead - Cohort 3

Whether you are looking to enhance your resume or just want to pick up a new skill or two, we are excited to offer a third cohort of our popular Dare to Lead series of workshops, beginning on Sunday, November 15. These sessions are open to TAPS Survivors wanting to bring more courage to their workplace, home, community, or school. It is applicable for both formal and informal leaders (all of us), executives, visionaries, and healers across all spectrums.

Central Regional Seminar 

Join us at the Central Regional Seminar on  November 13 to 15 for a time of sharing, hope, and healing. Our seminars are designed to meet you where you are and help you gain coping skills that will help you find meaning and purpose as you move forward on your grief journey. We are working to make arrangements for this event with safety in mind and look forward to being together again. Thanks to the generosity of our sponsors, TAPS provides all lodging, meals, materials, activities, and T-shirts at no cost to you.

Set Sail with Your TAPS Family! 

This summer, sail with your TAPS Family on the TAPS Alaska Cruise from July 30 to August 10, 2021, through the inside passage to Alaska onboard Royal Caribbean's Radiance of the Seas! While onboard, TAPS will have a variety of programs and activities available for you and we will gather each evening for a TAPS Family dinner. And to give you peace of mind, Royal Caribbean has extended their “Cruise with Confidence” program through the end of November. Anyone who books a cabin under that program will be able to cancel up to 48 hours before sailing (for any reason) and receive 100% future credit.

A Breath of Fresh Air

We want to help you reconnect with nature in simple, yet meaningful ways with monthly themes and weekly activities you can do anywhere. Join us as we navigate the wilds of our natural world and the wilds of your grief. You will have access to downloadable content, videos, and articles each week and a family campfire at the end of each month! Find nature where you live, whether it be in your community or your own backyard. Join in our activities and snap a photo to share with us. Let's join together for a Breath of Fresh Air!

You can discover all the opportunities to connect with your TAPS family on our website at the TAPS Event Calendar.

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Choose TAPS as Your AmazonSmile Charity of Choice

AmazonSmile is a simple way for you to support TAPS every time you shop, at no cost to you. Visit, log in, and select TAPS as your charity of choice. Amazon will give 0.5% of your eligible purchases to TAPS.

About the Saturday Morning Message

The Saturday Morning Message (SMM) is a weekly communication; written and contributed to by survivors. The primary focus of the Saturday Morning Message is to foster peer-based connection for support and encouragement.  It is the goal of this communication to foster a safe, supportive atmosphere where we can openly share in a non-judgmental and caring manner. Read and contribute as you are comfortable, and explore any opinions/ideas shared that are most beneficial to you on your individual journey. Content submitted for inclusion in the Saturday Morning Message is edited for spacing considerations, grammatical corrections and may be used in other TAPS publications.  

To subscribe or contribute to the Saturday Morning Message email

If you ever need to speak to someone regarding an urgent matter or just need a listening ear, the loving family at TAPS is available to you 24 hours a day. Please feel free to contact TAPS at 800-959-8277.