Saturday Morning Message: Take Some Time to Take Care

Author: Carol Lane

Good Morning,

As we come to the beginning of 2019, it might be interesting to think about treating yourself well since the passing season might have been very stressful especially for those who are grieving. In the TAPS Magazine’s winter 2015 issue, there is an article titled "Seven Strategies for the New Year" written by Brad Stetson. In it he encourages some activities that might be a help to comfort yourself. The article contains more of his thoughts on each item.

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Brad Stetson’s List: 

1. Write yourself a comforting and encouraging letter. You are worthy of being comforted and encouraged, too. 

2. Buy a big calendar, and use it. Start filling your days with appointments—especially with yourself. 

3. Move your body, move your mind. It's vital to get outside and move, not necessarily to exercise, just to move. 

4. Realize that you do not need to "understand" your grief right now. Time will help you clear your mind, and you will eventually be able to address your loss, the pain it has brought you and the changes in your life that have ensued. 

5. Decide that in the New Year, you will begin to focus a bit more on others, as a part of your loved one's legacy. We all need to get outside of ourselves and focus on other people and their problems. 

6. Listen to the music. Music is therapeutic and healing. 

7. Wishing you well. What would your loved one wanted for you in the New Year? 

Next week’s message will center around the ideas that you might have to treat yourself thathave  come in over the holidays. We all look forward to reading some of the ideas from those who responded. 

The Saturday Morning Message was created so survivors can share questions and read how others respond. By sharing coping strategies, together we become stronger. I am always looking for questions for future messages. 

You never know how your words may touch the heart of another. I encourage you to reply to the Saturday Morning Message by emailing I directly receive all responses that are sent to this address.

Carol Lane
Mother of Bryon


Question for Next Week’s Saturday Morning Message 

Because of the holiday, I am continuing to collect responses to the question: What have you done recently or what do you plan to do to take care of yourself? The responses will appear in the January 5 Saturday Morning Message. 

I encourage you to reply to the Saturday Morning Message by emailing Thank you to everyone responding this week and those who read this message.


♫ Song for the Week

From Hope, wife of Dennis: I felt the song "I Will Not Say Goodbye" sung by Danny Gokey hit home. It touched my heart so I put it on my Facebook page and recorded it on my phone to listen to when I am angry or sad or missing Dennis. I have laughed and cried, shook my fist at the sky, but I will never say goodbye.

You can send me favorite songs for this song of the week section at I directly receive all responses that are sent to this address.


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Visit the TAPS Online Community Calendar for this week's schedule of text and video chats and other offerings. We have a virtual gathering most days of the week. Whether you want to share your story or just read how other survivors are sharing and coping, this online grief support community is a way for you to develop and strengthen your connections with TAPS.

Other Items and Events of Interest

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Join Us for the Next Virtual Seminar

Please join us for our September Virtual Military Survivor Seminar, September 18 and 19. This two-day event will begin on Friday evening with Sharing Groups and conclude with a session on meditative movement. Activities begin at 2 p.m. Eastern on Saturday and will be presented at no cost to you. Our sessions will be led by experts in the field of grief and loss, offering opportunities for you to gain tools and resources. 


The TAPS National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar is going virtual. Held October 16-18, you will hear from others who have walked the road you are traveling. Sessions will offer vital information on anxiety, loss and family dynamics, talking to children and more. The grief that follows suicide loss can be uniquely complicated. You are not alone, and we invite you to join us for a time of hope and healing. 

Peer Mentor Training 

Looking for a chance to give back? You've been through the early days of grief and remember how connecting to TAPS was helpful to you. You remember when another reached out a hand to you to share the journey. Now you may be ready to help someone else. TAPS Peer Mentors are survivors who are 18 months beyond their loss and feel ready to be a companion to another. You may even find that opening your heart to another will offer you continued healing as well. Become a TAPS Peer Mentor.

You can discover all the opportunities to connect with your TAPS family on our website at the TAPS Event Calendar.

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Did you lose your loved on due to an illness loss

If your military loved one suffered with a wound, illness, or injury, please consider taking our new Illness Loss Survivor Survey, so TAPS can honor your loved one through our advocacy efforts.

If you took the survey last year, we ask that you retake it as we've made important updates. Your response could help shape policy and legislation, and direct future TAPS programs and services. To learn more, email

Those who take the survey will receive a discount to the TAPS store for providing this important and valuable feedback. 

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AmazonSmile is a simple way for you to support TAPS every time you shop, at no cost to you. Visit, log in, and select TAPS as your charity of choice. Amazon will give 0.5% of your eligible purchases to TAPS.

About the Saturday Morning Message

The Saturday Morning Message (SMM) is a weekly communication; written and contributed to by survivors. The primary focus of the Saturday Morning Message is to foster peer-based connection for support and encouragement.  It is the goal of this communication to foster a safe, supportive atmosphere where we can openly share in a non-judgmental and caring manner. Read and contribute as you are comfortable, and explore any opinions/ideas shared that are most beneficial to you on your individual journey. Content submitted for inclusion in the Saturday Morning Message is edited for spacing considerations, grammatical corrections and may be used in other TAPS publications.  

To subscribe or contribute to the Saturday Morning Message email

If you ever need to speak to someone regarding an urgent matter or just need a listening ear, the loving family at TAPS is available to you 24 hours a day. Please feel free to contact TAPS at 800-959-8277.