Saturday Morning Message: Take Some Time to Take Care

Author: Carol Lane

Good Morning,

As we come to the beginning of 2019, it might be interesting to think about treating yourself well since the passing season might have been very stressful especially for those who are grieving. In the TAPS Magazine’s winter 2015 issue, there is an article titled "Seven Strategies for the New Year" written by Brad Stetson. In it he encourages some activities that might be a help to comfort yourself. The article contains more of his thoughts on each item.

Calendar, coffee cup

Brad Stetson’s List: 

1. Write yourself a comforting and encouraging letter. You are worthy of being comforted and encouraged, too. 

2. Buy a big calendar, and use it. Start filling your days with appointments—especially with yourself. 

3. Move your body, move your mind. It's vital to get outside and move, not necessarily to exercise, just to move. 

4. Realize that you do not need to "understand" your grief right now. Time will help you clear your mind, and you will eventually be able to address your loss, the pain it has brought you and the changes in your life that have ensued. 

5. Decide that in the New Year, you will begin to focus a bit more on others, as a part of your loved one's legacy. We all need to get outside of ourselves and focus on other people and their problems. 

6. Listen to the music. Music is therapeutic and healing. 

7. Wishing you well. What would your loved one wanted for you in the New Year? 

Next week’s message will center around the ideas that you might have to treat yourself thathave  come in over the holidays. We all look forward to reading some of the ideas from those who responded. 

The Saturday Morning Message was created so survivors can share questions and read how others respond. By sharing coping strategies, together we become stronger. I am always looking for questions for future messages. 

You never know how your words may touch the heart of another. I encourage you to reply to the Saturday Morning Message by emailing I directly receive all responses that are sent to this address.

Carol Lane
Mother of Bryon


Question for Next Week’s Saturday Morning Message 

Because of the holiday, I am continuing to collect responses to the question: What have you done recently or what do you plan to do to take care of yourself? The responses will appear in the January 5 Saturday Morning Message. 

I encourage you to reply to the Saturday Morning Message by emailing Thank you to everyone responding this week and those who read this message.


♫ Song for the Week

From Hope, wife of Dennis: I felt the song "I Will Not Say Goodbye" sung by Danny Gokey hit home. It touched my heart so I put it on my Facebook page and recorded it on my phone to listen to when I am angry or sad or missing Dennis. I have laughed and cried, shook my fist at the sky, but I will never say goodbye.

You can send me favorite songs for this song of the week section at I directly receive all responses that are sent to this address.

Other Items and Events of Interest

Arlington Cemetery family at headstone

Join us on Memorial Day Weekend, May 28 to 30, for our 27th Annual National Military Survivor Seminar! We will be live streaming all of our general sessions with guest speakers.

Important Note: In-person registration is still open, but we are in a waitlist situation due to COVID occupancy restrictions in the State of Virginia. 

If you have any questions, email or call our Helpline at 202.588.TAPS (8277).

Learn More and Register


▶▶  Connect With Your TAPS Family 

You can discover all the opportunities to connect with your TAPS Family on our website at the TAPS Event Calendar.

About the Saturday Morning Message

The Saturday Morning Message (SMM) is a weekly communication contributed by survivors. The primary focus of the SMM is to foster peer-based connections for support and encouragement. It is the goal of this communication to foster a safe, supportive place where we can openly share in a nonjudgmental and caring manner. Read and contribute as you are comfortable. Content submitted for the SMM is edited for space considerations and may be used in other TAPS publications. The loving family at TAPS is available to you 24 hours a day. Please call 202-588-TAPS (8277).