Saturday Morning Message: The Story Behind the Name

Author: Carol Lane

Good Morning,

This week, spring arrived in my part of the country. My favorite flower is the rose, so I thought I would send a picture to you today. Now that it is warmer, people in my neighborhood stop and talk when they're outside. When I was young, many people would talk about who they were named after and why. This has always been one of my favorite conversations. Survivors sent in a variety of answers to the question this week about how we or our loved ones received a name. I hope you enjoy reading the responses.   

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Questions are the backbone of the Saturday Morning Message. In order to keep the Saturday Morning Message fresh, I am looking for more questions as well as songs that have meaning to you. If you have questions or topics you would like to see addressed in the Saturday Morning Message, you can email me at online@taps.org. I directly receive all responses that are sent to this address. In addition to replies that are placed in the message, I also look for thoughts you have. You can write to me anytime just to communicate or to share your thoughts on what could make the Saturday Morning Message more helpful. Replies to the weekly question are best sent to me by Tuesday afternoon. You are an important part of this message, and I look forward to your questions or any ideas you may have. 

Hugs,
Carol 

QUESTION FOR NEXT WEEK'S SATURDAY MORNING MESSAGE 

Betty, mother of Michael, sent this week's question. She asked, "What do people do with the possessions of their loved ones - specifically uniforms?"  The Marine Corps sent her boxes of her son's things and she wants to keep them, but she would like some ideas on how others have faced this challenge. I know there will be many survivors who will want to read the responses to this question. 

  SONG FOR THE WEEK 

Last week's Saturday Morning Message centered around how our thoughts on our own mortality have changed. Mary, mother of David, heard the song "Danny Boy" by Celtic Woman when she was watching a movie on the Hallmark Channel. This is a song that went beautifully with last week's topic, and since it includes a name in the title, it is the song this week! 

Along with sending the song, Mary wrote, "My outlook on death, now that my son is no longer here, is with mixed feelings. I can hardly wait to see him again and no longer have this deep sorrow in my life since his passing. I am no longer afraid to die. The negative side of this new feeling is that I do not want to leave my loved ones, my daughter and husband, behind. The idea of leaving them scares me, so I have mixed feelings about facing death." I think this song's lyrics address the idea of mixed feelings perfectly. 

ANSWERS FROM SURVIVORS 

From Leslie, mother of Eugene: Eugene was Eugene III. It was tradition in my ex's family to name the first son after his father, so Eugene was named after his dad and grandfather. Eugene Sr. had a friend named Eugene who also had a son with the same name. A visit with all of the Eugenes had everyone answering at once. My son was "Genie boy" when he was small. When he was about 4 1/2, while drawing a picture as I was cooking, he asked me how to spell Genie. So I spelled it for him. He then asked how to spell knee, and so I spelled that. He signed the picture Gene Knee.

From Bonnie Jo, mother of Andrew: Bob and I did not know if we were having two boys or two girls until they were born, so we had to come up with sets of names.

It was fun. I always kind of knew I would have one of each as that was just what was in my family history. The names used in the past were either too weird to use or reflected on the past sets of names, so we decided to fit the names to our last name and not to honor anyone. 

I loved the names Lisa and Katie and Bob and I liked Martin, but there were too many Martins in my family and my cousin had just had a baby named Martin.

My husband teased my mother so much and told her that he was naming the twins Frick and Frat or John and Priscilla (as they were due in late November) or even Buba and Beegus! No matter what he said, my mother was convinced he was going to do that! 

The last set of twins from my grandmother were named Martin and Mill-Mae. Hmm, using Martin was out of the question, Mill-Mae was kind of unusual and my mother's name was so different. It was Thoris (yes, I spelled it right!). 

Andrew was a favorite of mine, so we just picked it and it fit! I always called him Andrew, but then again it became Andy as he was such a beloved friend to so many. So, that is how we got Andrew and Lisa. 

From Kitty, mother of John Michael:  John Michael's name was comprised of his father's favorite name, Michael, and my favorite name, which is John. Other than our favorite names, his name has historical significance. The name John goes back to an ancestor, the mayor of Budleigh, Devonshire, England, who was born in 1480. His great grandson, Roger Conant, was the founder of Salem, Massachusetts, in 1621. Roger arrived in what is now Massachusetts in 1620 on the third ship after the Mayflower. Both John's and Roger's statues are in their respective cities to honor them. It is on our bucket list to visit each city, and we will get to visit Salem the week before the TAPS seminar this year. 


UPCOMING VIDEO AND TEXT CHATS

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Visit the TAPS Online Community Calendar for this week's schedule of text and video chats and other offerings. We have a virtual gathering most days of the week. Whether you want to share your story or just read how other survivors are sharing and coping, this online grief support community is a way for you to develop and strengthen your connections with TAPS.


Other Items and Events of Interest

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This Summer, Youth Programs is hosting TAPS Good Grief and Family Camp at Home through August 28. Each week, there are activities and challenges you can complete individually and as a family. Missed a week? No problem - all activities and challenges from previous weeks are available online. Join us for opportunities for you and the kids to connect to mentors and other families through Zoom sessions.

Make plans to join us for our next Virtual Military Survivor Seminar, August 21 and 22. We have new, dynamic sessions available throughout the weekend at no cost, with all of the resources, care and love we can offer, coming to you in the comfort of your home. We'll also have Share Groups, our facilitated support groups, where you can meet other survivors with similar loss experience. We look forward to seeing you online soon!

Save the date! Please join us for the Military Survivor New to Grief Seminar, once per week from September 3 to 24. Together we will work toward two primary goals. First, we will grow deeper understandings as we deconstruct myths about grief, explore the cognitive and physical impacts of grief, and seek to establish a helpful language around our own experiences. Second, we will establish community among our peers so that we have others who have a strong desire to accompany us as we continue navigating the ups and downs of our loss and grief.

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Did you lose your loved on due to an illness loss

If your military loved one suffered with a wound, illness, or injury, please consider taking our new Illness Loss Survivor Survey before August 18th, 2020, so TAPS can honor your loved one through our advocacy efforts. If you took the survey last year, we ask that you retake it as we've made important updates. Your response could help shape policy and legislation, and direct future TAPS programs and services. To learn more, email illnessloss@taps.org.

Have you lost your job, or have reduced work hours? Or are otherwise affected by COVID-19? If you are grieving the death of a loved one, and their life included military service, we'd like to hear from you. Your feedback will be used to improve TAPS programs and to communicate survivor needs to donors and stakeholders. Tell us more.

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AmazonSmile is a simple way for you to support TAPS every time you shop, at no cost to you. Visit smile.amazon.com, log in, and select TAPS as your charity of choice. Amazon will give 0.5% of your eligible purchases to TAPS.


About the Saturday Morning Message

The Saturday Morning Message (SMM) is a weekly communication; written and contributed to by survivors. The primary focus of the Saturday Morning Message is to foster peer-based connection for support and encouragement.  It is the goal of this communication to foster a safe, supportive atmosphere where we can openly share in a non-judgmental and caring manner. Read and contribute as you are comfortable, and explore any opinions/ideas shared that are most beneficial to you on your individual journey. Content submitted for inclusion in the Saturday Morning Message is edited for spacing considerations, grammatical corrections and may be used in other TAPS publications.  

To subscribe or contribute to the Saturday Morning Message email online@taps.org.

If you ever need to speak to someone regarding an urgent matter or just need a listening ear, the loving family at TAPS is available to you 24 hours a day. Please feel free to contact TAPS at 800-959-8277.