Mother's Day Thoughts

Author: Carol Lane

Carol Lane's Husband and DaughterMother’s Day is here. This is one of those days on the grief journey that can bring up a variety of emotions. The picture is of my two children. On the left is my son, Bryon, and on the right my daughter, Bethany. One of the many things I have learned since joining TAPS is to celebrate the lives of all those we love. Take each day and enjoy the time together. This Mother’s Day, I will have lunch with my husband and daughter as we will celebrate all of our lives as well as those of Bryon and my mother who are no longer with us.

One of the people whose memories I ponder is that of my mother. Her name was Lillie. When the news of the attack on Pearl Harbor came to her small city in upstate New York, she decided to go into the Army having just finished her studies as a nurse. She was sent to Hawaii for the duration of the war. She was a caring person who did what she could to make those who were suffering feel supported.

lanemomAfter the war, she came home, married my father and I was born a few years later. It was interesting being brought up by a mother who had been in the Army. I often said she may have left the Army, but the Army never left her. She taught me how to manage my life in an orderly fashion which I still follow today. She told stories about her life while she was in service to our country and I enjoyed hearing her talk with her friends about those times. She made many friends during her service and they became her extended family. She was a strong woman who I still very much admire.

When I grew up, I married a man who had been in the Navy. We had two children. The first, a son named Bryon, joined the Marines after high school and made us very proud. We visited him when we could and enjoyed the time spent when we got together. Shortly after being transferred to North Carolina, a helicopter accident took his life. That is how I came to TAPS.  

I find that the days leading up to this special day bring on that roller coaster of emotions. Sometimes I am really up and other times I can feel down. This July will mark 16 years without Bryon. I have learned to accept the emotions. They come around those days that have unique meaning in our lives. Since I have been through this many times now, I know that when the actual day comes, I will find relief and joy when we get together. We talk about the happiness that has come into our lives because of these two special people. I also will talk about the joy that has filled my life from knowing my daughter. Each person has brought something different to me and this Sunday I will celebrate those lives.