What Do I Miss the Most?

Author: Rachael Hill

Rachael and Jeff HillWhat do I miss the most?

A few months ago a friend asked me what I missed the most about my husband. It was an interesting question and while I had a very quick answer for her, it wasn’t until recently that I really started to truly think about it. It’s a very thought provoking question and one that doesn’t really have one definitive answer. There are so many things that I miss… 

Jeff was the type of person that could command a room simply by his presence. He had a personality that would draw people to him and it would only take a few minutes of knowing him before feeling like you had been best friends for years. When engaging in conversation with him he made you feel like you were the most important person in the world at that moment in time. He had a way with people and genuinely wanted to take care of those around him. 

So what do I miss about Jeff? Anything and everything. I miss his infectious smile and that little giggle he had whenever he said something witty. I miss his crazy one-liners that always seemed to come out of nowhere, and while he laughed at himself I would just shook my head and chuckle on the inside. I miss the way he looked into my eyes when we were deep in conversation. I miss the sound of his voice calling me “Princess” or telling me that he loved me. I miss listening to him sing in the shower. I miss staring at his eyebrows wondering how they always stayed so seemingly manicured when he truly did nothing with them except pluck the unibrow. I miss having someone to be silly with.

I miss watching him with the boys. I miss watching him wrestle with them on the living room floor and feeling his love for them fill the room. I miss his high pitched squeal that purposely got them all wound up. I miss listening to him read them stories before bed and how he could never say no when they asked for just one more. I miss seeing the pride in his eyes when watching one of them do something for the first time. I miss his sound effects when taking us on family 4-wheeling or snowmachine rides. I miss how he would run through the hallways with that loud, fake laugh as the boys chased him during Nerf gun wars. I miss the confidence in knowing they would learn so many great things from him as they grew older.     

I miss having someone to sit on the couch and watch tv with after putting the kids to bed, even though his channel surfing usually ended on his favorite channel - the Outdoor Network. I miss having someone hold my hand while walking down the street or riding in the car. I miss the way he hugged me and I melted into his arms whenever I was having a difficult day. I miss the security, knowing that he would always take care of me no matter what challenge life threw at us. I miss the banter back and forth and how I would get so frustrated because his wit was always much quicker than mine, and he always ended up with the last word. I miss the way he would come up behind me, wrap his arms around me and peek in on whatever I was cooking in the kitchen. I miss the way he crinkled his eyes when he had a good belly laugh and how the sound of his laugh always made everyone else join in, even if they had no idea what he was laughing at. I miss kissing him goodnight and closing my eyes knowing that tomorrow would be a new adventure with him by my side.

I miss being in love…

Perhaps most of all, I miss my best friend. That friend that knows you better than you know yourself and you don’t have to give any background information when telling a story. The first person you call whenever something happens and you want to share it – good, bad, news, gossip, anything! That person that understands how you’re feeling and knows just what to say to make you feel better. That person that will never judge you for saying something before thinking. That person that will love you no matter how stupid you may act, and that constant companion that will always go somewhere with you just because they want to spend time with you.  

The list goes on and on so how can you pick just one thing that you miss the most?  Simple.  I miss my husband.