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Saturday Morning Message: Favorite Quotes or Phrases Saturday Morning Message: Favorite Quotes or Phrases Favorite Quotes or Phrases \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, A good friend of mine from TAPS, Darcie Sims, used this phrase in an article she wrote called, “Star Light, Star Bright”. The article talks about how we stop looking for the stars when our loved ones pass. Then, through the help of friends, we come to a place where we can search for those stars again. Her closing words talk about how we can heal: “Look
Saturday Morning Message: Holiday Traditions Old or New? Saturday Morning Message: Holiday Traditions Old or New? Holiday Traditions Old or New? \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, As the season turns from summer to fall and we begin to look ahead to the holiday season, we are faced with decisions about continuing holiday traditions or starting something new. I smiled as I read the variety of responses that came in this week. Those who are thinking about what to do during this difficult time of social isolation along with thos
Saturday Morning Message: Volunteer Work Helps Healing Saturday Morning Message: Volunteer Work Helps Healing Volunteer Work Helps Healing \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, The opening picture comes from the article, "Survivors Fill Community Need for Face Mask" written by Susie Ristau, mother of Michael. She tells how survivors spend time making and sending masks for anyone in need. Her daughter makes hair scrunchies as well. At the end of the article, Susie writes, “I know our Michael is looking down on me and Halie and
Waking Up to Gratitude Waking Up to Gratitude Waking Up to Gratitude \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt I’ve become a fan of sunrises. Before COVID-19 changed all of our lives, my busy travel and teaching schedule had me hopping. Most mornings after I woke up, I went straight to work. I had a love-hate relationship with the adrenaline of stress. I was a slave to emails, itineraries, deadlines, and flight schedules. Now I’m in limbo. With most of my presentations postponed or canceled, I’m home. I have time to linger over my morn
Gratitude, Hope and Godwinks See a Family Through Gratitude, Hope and Godwinks See a Family Through Gratitude, Hope and Godwinks See a Family Through \| TAPS Kathy Bold A grateful and hopeful spirit has helped Maggie Bainbridge through the darkest times, including the six years her husband, Bill, was battling cancer and the four years since he let go of the pain and died in her arms. She is grateful for the time she had with him. “We were so happy,” she says. “I would rather have 18 years with him than none.” She is grateful that retired Ar
How to Practice Self-Compassion When Grieving How to Practice Self-Compassion When Grieving How to Practice Self-Compassion When Grieving \| TAPS Cori Bussolari The death of a loved one can be the most difficult event we ever experience. Grief, or the deep sorrow and heartbreak we feel as a result of this loss, can overwhelm us so much that all assumptions about how the universe works completely shatter. Grief is messy, confusing, enormously painful, and never seems to follow a linear path. This is the time where we need to deeply take c
Saturday Morning Message: God Winks Saturday Morning Message: God Winks Saturday Morning Message: God Winks \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, There were so many interesting God winks sent this week that I think it will take two weeks to share these marvelous moments in our lives. If you have a God wink you would like to share after reading this week’s message, feel free to send it along. I will include it in the monthly Writers’ Circle that is sent to those who request it. The picture this week comes from Debra, wife
Saturday Morning Message: God Winks Part 2 Saturday Morning Message: God Winks Part 2 Saturday Morning Message: God Winks Part 2 \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, This week we continue to share God winks from survivors. The picture this week comes from an article, Godwinks: Special Gifts from Our Loved Ones, written by Bevin Landrum. This picture is of a light that a survivor’s husband said he was going to fix, but never got around to. After his death, his wife was carrying some of his personal belongings upstairs and all of a sudden..
Saturday Morning Message: Holiday Memories Saturday Morning Message: Holiday Memories Saturday Morning Message: Holiday Memories \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, With the beginning of October, the fall holidays come quickly. We all celebrate differently and this week’s survivor responses show the unique ways some of us celebrated some of those holidays with our loved ones. The lead picture this week comes from Bonnie Jo, mother of Andrew. I thought it was a very patriotic way to celebrate Halloween and our loved ones. I hope
Saturday Morning Message: Memories and Photos Saturday Morning Message: Memories and Photos Saturday Morning Message: Memories and Photos \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, Pictures bring back memories of what we did with our loved ones and what they loved doing. This picture I carry in my cell phone wherever I go and I wanted to share it with you. It brings back the memory of how much Bryon loved his job in the Marines. He was a helicopter crew chief. One of his friends took the picture on one of the flights. I love the picture because it
Is Suicide a Choice? Is Suicide a Choice? Military Widow Kim Ruocco on Spousal Suicide - TAPS News Kim Ruocco The National Veterans Crisis Line (800-273-8255) is available 24/7 to TAPS survivors. It is confidential and can connect you with local resources. The TAPS helpline (800-959-8277) is available for peer-based grief support. There are so many questions following a death by suicide. How could this happen? Why did this happen? Why didn’t I see it? Why didn’t I do something? Why didn’t the military do more?
Normal Isn’t Normal Anymore Normal Isn’t Normal Anymore Normal Isn’t Normal Anymore Betsy Beard I used to believe, along with author Patsy Clairmont who wrote a humorous book of the same title, that Normal Is Just a Setting on Your Dryer. But it seems like so much more to me, now. When our son died, "normal" flew out the window and hasn't returned. And because of its departure, leaving confusion, chaos, and disarray in its wake, the concept of normal seems far more important now than just a setting on the dryer. And not
Saturday Morning Message: TAPS Seminars and Retreats Saturday Morning Message: TAPS Seminars and Retreats Saturday Morning Message: TAPS Seminars and Retreats Carol Lane Good Morning, Going to a seminar or a retreat can be a moving experience. If you haven’t attended either, you may want to know the special qualities of each. At a seminar, there are workshops to understand grief, support groups in which survivors meet in a gentle environment with others who have experienced a similar death, special events that are held in the local area aro
The Fabric of Grief The Fabric of Grief The Fabric of Grief Sarah Greene (What’s in Your Closet?) Whatever you find in your jewelry box, drawers, and closets these days, rest assured that you are not alone and that your tastes will likely change yet again. Has your wardrobe changed since the loss of your loved one? I can tell you that mine has definitely changed. I have expressed (and sometimes embarrassed) myself in almost every clothing choice throughout my grief, and I don't think I am alone. The first
Coping with the Holidays Coping with the Holidays Coping with the Holidays TAPS Advice from TAPS Survivors Sometimes people expect us to plaster a smile on our faces and go about the holidays as if nothing were wrong. They don’t understand that every day is a challenge for us, especially in the early years and especially during the winter holiday season. Here are some honest observations from TAPS survivors about coping with the holidays. Although we may have different faith backgrounds and different relationships t
Traveling with Wreaths Across America Traveling with Wreaths Across America Traveling with Wreaths Across America Jill Stephenson My only child, Corporal Benjamin Kopp, an Army Ranger, died on July 18, 2009 of wounds he suffered during his third deployment in 2009. In his final wishes, he requested that he be laid to rest at Arlington National Cemetery. This made perfect sense to me, and although I live in Minnesota, I didn’t hesitate to honor his wish. Several months later, people began asking me if I was coming back to Arli
Will Trauma Grief Counseling Help? Will Trauma Grief Counseling Help? Will Trauma Grief Counseling Help? Janice Harris Lord Sudden death in the military isn’t the same as an anticipated death. That’s why “stages of grief” and books about grief following illnesses or advanced age seldom make sense after a traumatic death. Those who don’t know better may tell you, “Well, when he signed up for the military, everyone knew that this could happen.” Yes, most families consider the risk, and at the same time pray and expect that their
The Honorable Celestial Discharge The Honorable Celestial Discharge The Honorable Celestial Discharge Colleen Betlach New terminology to bring comfort and hope As the holiday season approaches and our thoughts turn to holiday music, miracles, lights, and angelic hosts, I am reminded of a Thanksgiving night that I experienced many years ago while working at a VA Medical Center (VAMC). It was then that I first heard of an Honorable Celestial Discharge. I began my work at a VAMC shortly after my own Honorable Medical Dischar
Yoga: A Healing Habit for a Wounded Soul Yoga: A Healing Habit for a Wounded Soul Yoga: A Healing Habit for a Wounded Soul Ami Neiberger-Miller When we are profoundly grieving, our emotions can manifest themselves in our bodies. Our facial expressions, a bent posture tilted forward, tense muscles, digestive upsets, insomnia, physical exhaustion, tightness or heaviness in the throat or chest, and even the gait in our steps can reveal a saddened heart. One tool to help people cope with the intense emotions and physical impacts of bere
Supporting Grieving Children During the Holidays Supporting Grieving Children During the Holidays Supporting Grieving Children During the Holidays Ami Neiberger-Miller The holidays can be a magical time of year, but for children who have lost a parent, sibling, or other significant person in their lives, the holiday season can be an emotional minefield. It can also pose additional challenges for their still-grieving, surviving parents and other family members. For fifteen years the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors has helped sur
Volunteer: Mentor at National Suicide Seminar Volunteer as a Legacy or Military Mentor at National Suicide Survivor Good Grief Camp Volunteer as a Legacy or Military Mentor at National Suicide Survivor Good Grief Camp \| TAPS TAPS invites those currently serving in the military, veterans, and military survivors who have graduated from Good Grief Camp to volunteer as a mentor at the TAPS National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp. The world changes for grieving children when someone is there for them — and t
Volunteer: Mentor at Mountain Regional Camp Legacy or Military Mentor Volunteer at Mountain State Regional Good Grief Camp Volunteer as a Military or Legacy Mentor in Colorado Springs, Colorado \| TAPS TAPS invites those currently serving in the military, veterans, and military survivors who have graduated from Good Grief Camp to volunteer as a mentor for the Mountain State Regional Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp. The world changes for a grieving child when someone is there for them — and that's where you come in. In t
Youth: Space Camp TAPS at U.S. Space and Rocket Center Space Camp U.S. Space and Rocket Center Space Camp \| TAPS Children ages 11 to 14 or 6th to 8th grade who have lost a parent/guardian or sibling who served in the Armed Forces are invited to participate in the Pathfinder Program at U.S. Space and Rocket Center. Pathfinder is a 3 day, 2 night structured educational adventure that allows campers the opportunity to explore the U.S. Space and Rocket Center. Campers will participate as trainees where th
Fundraiser: Land of the Free Land of the Free Golf Classic 2018 Land of the Free Golf Classic 2018 \| TAPS Industry Hills Golf Club at Pacific Palms The Land of the Free Foundation is pleased to be partnered with the Pacific Palms and Conference Center in the City of Industry, California and the Industry Hills Golf Club to play host to the annual “Land of the Free Veterans Day Golf Classic”. The Land of the Free Foundation Veterans Day Golf Classic is the main fundraising event for the Land of the Free Foundation.
Legacy and Military Mentors: National Seminar Legacy or Military Mentor Volunteer at National Good Grief Camp Volunteer as a Military or Legacy Mentor in D.C. \| TAPS TAPS invites those currently serving in the military, veterans, and military survivors who have graduated from Good Grief Camp to register to volunteer as a mentor for the TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp. The world changes for grieving children when someone is there for them — and that's where you come in. At this special event, children and t
Youth: Space Camp TAPS at U.S. Space and Rocket Center Space Camp U.S. Space and Rocket Center Space Camp \| TAPS Registration is closed and waitlist is full. Children in grades 1st to 8th who have lost a parent/guardian or sibling who served in the Armed Forces are invited to participate in the Surveyor Space Program at U.S. Space and Rocket Center. Surveyor is a one-night, structured educational adventure that allows campers the opportunity to explore the U.S. Space and Rocket Center. Campers wi
teams4taps: Arizona State University TAPS and Arizona State University Salute to Service TAPS and Arizona State University TAPS is partnering with the Arizona State University Sun Devils Football Program for a unique opportunity to honor and recognize fallen service men and women. Please take a moment to read about this event honoring our fallen heroes. Arizona State University will honor the memory of our service men and women during their Salute to Service Game on Saturday, November 4, 2017. The program will pay tribute t
Youth: Outward Bound Teen Adventure at Outward Bound TAPS Military Teen Adventure at Outward Bound Eastern Time Already Registered? Manage My Events TAPS teens ages 12 to 18 are invited to attend the Teen Adventure at Outward Bound. Build resiliency, friendships and community. TAPS teens are invited to join us at the TAPS Teen Adventure at Outward Bound, where teens will challenge themselves on a ropes course. At this one-day event, for teens 12 to 18 years old, Outward Bound will lead TAPS teens through a rop
teams4taps: USAB Las Vegas USA Basketball with teams4taps - Las Vegas USA Basketball with teams4taps We are thrilled to announce two upcoming opportunities in Las Vegas for TAPS basketball fans! In partnership with the NBA and USA Basketball, TAPS survivors will be able to see the Men's National Team before they head to the 2016 Summer Olympics in Rio! USA Men's National Team Practice Survivors, Mentor and Volunteers are invited to watch the USA Men's Senior National Team practice before their first game with FI
30 Fields, 1 Dream 30 Fields, 1 Dream 30 Fields, 1 Dream \| TAPS TAPS Quiet moments alone on deployment create space in the mind for reflection, missing home, and planning for the future. While deployed and separated from his family in 2014, Air Force Colonel Ronald “Erick” (call sign Fangs) Gilbert used one such quiet moment to set an ambitious goal to visit all 30 Major League Baseball stadiums with his family — wife, Kasia, and sons, Dane and Chase — before his oldest, Dane turned 18 in July 2024. At the hear
Surviving Suicide Loss: One Mother’s Story Surviving Suicide Loss: One Mother’s Story Surviving Suicide Loss: One Mother’s Story \| TAPS Ava Henrickson The Night That Life Changed It was September 10, 2020. The pandemic was still affecting everyday life across the globe. I was lying in bed, half-asleep, when I thought I heard noises downstairs — like someone was knocking at the door. It was close to midnight, so I thought I must've been imagining it. I tuned it out, chalking it up to the neighbors being noisy. Shortly after I put it
They Tell Me of You They Tell Me of You They Tell Me of You \| TAPS Thomas Dolphin Good morning, my son, it’s been a year, Memorial Days come by so fast. I wanted to tell you that each year at this time Your brothers call and speak of your past. They remind me of how close you became During each workup before you deployed, Of all the dumb things you did to each other. Your company was always a joy, Many have told me how smart you were — Citing history and books you have read Claiming they would have done
Becoming Someone’s Why Becoming Someone’s Why Becoming Someone’s Why \| TAPS TAPS During the last week of September, close to 100 military and veteran surviving family members, representing 25 states, walked the halls of the U.S. Capitol led by the TAPS Government Relations and Legislative Affairs team. These survivors, ranging from ages 8 to 76 years old, had one goal — to advocate for four key bills that would have a profound impact on their lives, their fellow survivors around the country, and the survivors who w
Very Important Document Very Important Document Very Important Document \| TAPS Diego Rincon Kristi Stolzenberg Ideliz Mora-Cruz This article is available in English and Spanish. (Este artículo está disponible en inglés y español.) FORWARD: PFC Diego Rincon died on foreign soil on March 29, 2003, proudly wearing a U.S. Army uniform, but he was not a U.S. citizen. He was just 5 years old in 1989 when he immigrated to the United States with his older brother and his parents, Jorge and Yolanda. The
Voices of the Love Lives On Act of 2023 Voices of the Love Lives On Act of 2023 Voices of the Love Lives On Act of 2023 \| TAPS TAPS Why We Advocate TAPS is dedicated to supporting all military and veteran survivors, and part of this commitment is advocating for program and service improvements that can directly impact life after loss. We work closely with elected officials; the Departments of Defense, Veterans Affairs, Education, Labor, and Health and Human Services; and state and local governments to make sure survivor concerns
Grief Grappling - Fighting for a New Normal Grief Grappling - Fighting for a New Normal Grief Grappling - Fighting for a New Normal \| TAPS Sandra Egts There is tremendous shock, confusion, and even denial that accompanies sudden death. It is equally traumatic to watch the prolonged suffering of those you love. Regardless of how grief comes for you, it will come– it is the great, dark hunter. You can’t ignore grief. It tracks you down and demands its rightful share of your life, no matter what the circumstance. Back in my early grief
Yoga Was My Survival Raft: A Journey of Healing Through Teaching Yoga Yoga Was My Survival Raft: A Journey of Healing Through Teaching Yoga Yoga Was My Survival Raft: A Journey of Healing Through Teaching Yoga \| TAPS Rayanne Hunter For many years, my family’s Memorial Day Weekends have looked quite different from the collective norm. We look forward to the TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar every year, where we gather with a family that we never expected to be a part of– our Gold Star Family. My husband, U.S. Army Staff Sergeant Wesley Hunter, died on Sept
20 Years of TEAM TAPS 20 Years of TEAM TAPS 20 Years of TEAM TAPS \| TAPS TAPS Conquering the Distance – Honoring our Heroes This could be a simple story of individuals who love to run, lacing up their sneakers and pounding the pavement in pursuit of a personal best time, wanting another finisher’s medal to add to their collection or channeling their energy into physical activity. This could be a simple story. Yet this twenty-year journey is a story filled with passion, determination, reverence, love and a happ
Join Team TAPS and help Carry the Load Join Team TAPS and help Carry the Load Join Team TAPS and help Carry the Load \| TAPS TAPS For many years Team TAPS and survivors across the country have participated in Carry the Load, a national relay to bring Americans together in honoring our nation’s heroes. What originally started as a Memorial Day event has grown into “Memorial May” — a month-long series of activities that kicks off today through Memorial Day, May 25, 2020. This year, we’re participating as an official no
Saturday Morning Message: Items Our Loved Ones Left Us Saturday Morning Message: Items Our Loved Ones Left Us Items Our Loved Ones Left Us \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, A recent conversation with JoAnne, mother of Brandon, serves as the inspiration for this week’s Saturday Morning Message topic. She spoke to me about her son's love of trains, so I decided to use the photo she sent of her son with his beloved train bell as the opening image. You will read more about Brandon in the survivor response below. In t
Saturday Morning Message: Comforting Suggestions from Survivors Saturday Morning Message: Comforting Suggestions from Survivors Saturday Morning Message: Comforting Suggestions from Survivors \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, Sometimes just listening, sharing memories and knowing someone cares like the two women in this picture is the most supportive thing to do when someone is grieving. My neighbor lost her husband a few weeks ago and I used some of the ideas in this message to hopefully give some comfort. I hope you will find some good ideas as well in t
Saturday Morning Message: What do your dreams mean? Saturday Morning Message: What do your dreams mean? Saturday Morning Message: What do your dreams mean? \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, Dreams don’t come to all survivors, but when they do, they are vivid. I chose this picture to open the message this week. It shows that love never goes away and a reminder can come at the strangest of times if we just look for it. It breaks through the dawn to show us that our loved ones are still with us. There are several ways the responders this week sha
TAPS marks 25 years of service in 2019 TAPS marks 25 years of service in 2019 TAPS marks 25 years of service in 2019 TAPS Each Friday, please visit our blog and join us as we take a look back at stories, people and events that have shaped who we are today. We are a family of survivors honoring our selfless heroes who paid the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom. We are grieving parents, spouses, children, siblings, grandparents, fiancées, battle buddies and loved ones. We are hope. We are strength. We are TAPS. This year, TAP
Saturday Morning Message: Inspirational Movies Saturday Morning Message: Inspirational Movies Saturday Morning Message: Inspirational Movies \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, Movie titles were shared this week that provided support for those who responded. Each responder shared how the movie helped in a special way on the grief journey. Since I wanted to make sure their thoughts were highlighted, a decision was made to place a link for each movie to IMDb for the summary, etc. If you want to know more about a movie, just click on the title
Saturday Morning Message: Kindness for the Grieving Saturday Morning Message: Kindness for the Grieving Saturday Morning Message: Kindness for the Grieving \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, The replies from survivors to this week’s question all centered around the people who reached out to them not only in the early days, but who continued on past the memorials. It was the same for me. I value those in my community who talk about their memories of Bryon and I try to let them know how much that means. This week’s lead picture shows a staff memb
Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Mementos Part 2 Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Mementos Part 2 Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Mementos Part 2 \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, I thought I would share my memento picture. This is the heart locket I wear every day. Inside is a picture of my son at boot camp. I am making my comments short since we had responses to two different questions making this week’s message longer than usual. Last week Betty, mother of Michael sent a picture of what looked like a coin and asked i
Saturday Morning Message: Treating Ourselves Saturday Morning Message: Treating Ourselves Saturday Morning Message: Treating Ourselves \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, For many of us the past holidays have been stressful, so the first question of 2018 is not about resolutions that can bring on more uneasiness but rather the things we do to treat ourselves. The picture today is of myself and friends at last year’s TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar. This is the treat that I look forward to each year. It is a chance to get together a
Peer Mentoring: The Next Step Peer Mentoring: The Next Step Peer Mentoring: The Next Step TAPS Have you ever wondered, “Where do I go from here?” I was there four years ago, 18 months after my oldest son, Joshua, died by suicide. “What am I supposed to do with the lessons I have learned along this journey?” I really wanted to find a way to honor his life of service, but I didn’t have to look too far. I was already connecting with other survivors through TAPS. Many of them, I spoke to on a regular basis. The TAPS Peer Men
TAPS is Always Here For You TAPS is Always Here For You TAPS is Always Here For You TAPS The holidays are a festive time, filled with joyous occasions and family gatherings. But when your family circle has been broken by death, each holiday is a reminder of the empty spot at the table, the hole in your heart. As we set the dishes and count the silverware for Thanksgiving, we are acutely aware of the empty places at the family table. We try to find something, anything, to be thankful for. We hold our breath and hope t
Struggling To Reclaim My Faith Struggling To Reclaim My Faith Struggling To Reclaim My Faith Dennis Apple My nightmare began on Wednesday, February 6, 1991, at 8:20 a.m. Denny, our eighteen- year-old son had been diagnosed with mononucleosis two days prior, and the doctor had sent us home with medications and orders to rest. However, something awful happened during the night, and the following morning I discovered he had died in his sleep. There is nothing I know of that compares to the horror and shock that comes to the h
Children’s Bereavement and Emotional Wellness, Part 2 Children’s Bereavement and Emotional Wellness, Part 2 Children’s Bereavement and Emotional Wellness, Part 2 Andrea Hug As grieving parents, we are concerned about the care and support we are able to offer our grieving children. How can we help children bounce back when they have experienced a profound loss or trauma? How do we offer good bereavement support for children? How do we help others to help our children? Consider the following topics in light of your child’s loss. Go through the bul
Introducing Michele Marcum Introducing Michele Marcum Introducing Michele Marcum Michele Hiester Marcum I am Michele. And I am a survivor. My story mirrors that of every other TAPS survivor. The plot is the same, the ending ultimately identical, the tone oppressing. And there is no "happily ever after." Someone I love died, and I'm writing my way through the grief and tears in the hope that healing sneaks its way in. I became a bona fide TAPS card-carrying member after my brother, MSGT Michael T. Hiester, encoun
Introducing Shanette Booker Introducing Shanette Booker Introducing Shanette Booker Shanette Booker I would like to welcome you to my world of wonder, wisdom, and widowhood. I am Mrs. Shanette Booker, wife of USMC Sgt. /USARMYSSG. Andre ‘Dre’ Booker. We met 14 March 2004, in beautiful Beaufort, South Carolina, where we fell in love and were married 22 October 2005. I met Dre while he was stationed at the Marine Corps Air Station, Beaufort, when he was just a Corporal in the Marine Corps. We have 4 very unique and love
Military Widows Go Skydiving with the Army's Golden Knights Military Widows Go Skydiving with the Army's Golden Knights Military Widows Go Skydiving with the Army's Golden Knights TAPS The widows will go skydiving with the U.S. Army’s Golden Knights, an elite parachute jumping team based at Homestead. For some, the jump is a way to connect with their spouse’s military training and experience. For others, it’s deeply personal. For Terri Starliper, who was widowed when her husband died in a military parachute training accident six weeks after their wedd
You Doin’ OK? You Doin’ OK? You Doin’ OK? Barb Christie Note: The article by Barb Christie posted here is the abridged version. Select this Link: You Doin’ Okay? To read the full article. It was an uncharacteristically beautiful, blue-sky, warm day in Brussels, February 2001, as I surveyed the back yard of our home. Our beloved chocolate Lab, Carrie, was sniffing around the grass, and my Marine husband was attending to household tasks. I was the luckiest woman in the world—our sons were both out of
Books to Help Your Child Books to Help Your Child Books to Help Your Child Andrea Hug When your child faces the death of a loved one, his or her primary support system is profoundly impacted. Your family must find new ways to communicate as you all move through the loss. Sharing your feelings and experiences is really important, and while a direct conversation is good, you may not get as much information as you’d like. You might get only brief answers without thoughtful consideration about how your child really feels
The Art of Healing The Art of Healing The Art of Healing Sharon Strouse National Suicide Survivor Seminar I lay in bed with my eyes closed this Monday morning, this ninth anniversary of my daughter Kristin’s death. She ended her life on October 11, 2001. She was just 17 years old, a freshman at Parsons School of Design in New York City, with dreams of being a fashion designer. She succumbed to a misdiagnosed bi-polar illness, an illness that reared its head in January of her senior year, an illness we did not
Healing After Loss Healing After Loss Healing After Loss Betsy Beard Daily Meditations for Working Through Grief We all know that our grief doesn’t evaporate after a few days and weeks, even though some of our friendships do. This book was my constant and faithful companion during the first and second years of grieving. I liked it so much I bought copies for several friends who were also grieving. Healing After Loss is divided into 365 daily readings. Each reading starts with a short quotation followed by
Healing the Hurt Spirit Healing the Hurt Spirit Healing the Hurt Spirit Carol Lane Daily Affirmations for People Who Have Lost a Loved One to Suicide “Today I have permission to be sad. Sadness unlocks the grief through tears. On the other side of sadness is joy.” This book was written as a day by day journey through grief for people who have experienced the suicide death of a loved one. Catherine Greenleaf has experienced this type of death three times in her life and it took her 25 years to write a book th
Physical Reactions to Loss and Grief Physical Reactions to Loss and Grief How the Body Reacts to the Loss of a Loved One - TAPS News Susan Blankenship Rebecca Porter “Sometimes I feel like I’m floating, like this just can’t be real. Am I losing my mind?” “My hands feel freezing cold, like they’re in a bucket of ice water. I’ve never had this kind of feeling before.” “My skin has been a mess for the past month. I haven’t had acne like this since I was in high school. What’s happening to me?” After the sudden and unexpected loss
TAPS Togethers: Cuyahoga Valley National Park TAPS Togethers: Cuyahoga Valley National Park Day TAPS Military Survivor Togethers Cuyahoga National Park in Peninsula, Ohio Eastern This event is open to military adult and child survivors. All survivors are invited to join us on Saturday, May 10 for a day of exploration at Cuyahoga Valley National Park to connect with fellow survivors, soak up the history of the valley, and enjoy the beautiful scenery of Cuyahoga Valley. This event will also include a stewardship project, giving survivors t
TAPS Togethers: Atlanta April 19 TAPS Togethers: Piedmont Park Walking History Tour, Atlanta TAPS Military Survivor Together in Atlanta, Georgia Eastern This event is open to all TAPS survivors, both adults and children, who have experienced a military or veteran loss. Join your TAPS family for a 60 to 90 minute historical walking tour through Piedmont Park and follow it up with a stroll through the Farmer's Market! The Piedmont Park History Walking Tours include an introduction to the park's vibrant past and present. The t
Volunteer: Mentor at National Suicide Seminar Volunteer as a Legacy or Military Mentor at National Suicide Survivor Good Grief Camp Volunteer as a Legacy or Military Mentor at National Suicide Survivor Good Grief Camp \| TAPS TAPS invites those currently serving in the military, veterans, and military survivors who have graduated from Good Grief Camp to volunteer as a mentor at the TAPS National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp. The world changes for grieving children when someone is there for them — and t
Webinar: The Power of Story – Navigating the Mental Maps We Create Webinar: The Power of Story – Navigating the Mental Maps We Create The Power of Story – Shaping Your World Through Narrative Part 2 Webinar \| TAPS Institute Eastern This workshop is the second part of our two-part webinar series on The Power of Story, building on the foundation of how narratives shape our lives. In the first session, we explored how the stories we tell ourselves influence our emotions, decisions, and interactions. Now, we take the next step: understanding how these stories form
Online Workshop Series: Reasons for the Seasons Online Workshop Series: Reasons for the Seasons TAPS Military Survivor Online Workshop Series: Reasons for the Seasons Meets every Monday for 4 sessions from 8 p.m. to 9:30 p.m. Eastern These standalone workshop series are great ways to shore up your own resilience this December — and to give yourself the gift of hearing from others who may be feeling some of the same things you are. Grief can amplify the ways in which the holidays can be stressful and the ways the holidays can be special,
March 8, 2022 March 8, 2022 TAPS Statement for the Record \| TAPS News Advocacy Proprietary Footer March 8, 2022 - TAPS Statement for the Record Before the Committees On Veterans' Affairs and United States Senate and House of Representatives; Joint House and Senate Veterans Service Organization Legislative Presentation Presented by Bonnie Carroll, TAPS President And Founder View the Full Hearing The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) is the national provider of comfort, care, and resources t
Expedition: Peru Machu Picchu Expedition TAPS Machu Picchu Expedition for Military Survivors All adult survivors 18 and older are invited to join TAPS on the Machu Picchu Expedition as we find new purpose, gain radical perspective and remember what it feels like to live with determination. TAPS Expeditions are outdoor skills-based events that require dedication, preparation and a real sense of adventure. OVERVIEW Share a truly fearless journey with fellow TAPS survivors as we trek ancient trails in the
Seminar: San Diego San Diego Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp San Diego Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp As we move through the grief journey, we realize that changes provide perspective, and perspective drives purpose. Find new perspective, a sense of purpose and the support of peers at our brand new seminars. We urge you to take three days out of the grind of grief work and the stresses of daily life to fellowship with your TAPS family. Our new format will help you personalize your experience. Some
Dave Wilson’s Perfected Pancakes Dave Wilson’s Perfected Pancakes Dave Wilson’s Perfected Pancakes \| TAPS Sara Wilson Adapted from Alton Brown, Good Eats Nobody could beat Dave Wilson’s pancakes. Hot and crispy on the outside edges, fluffy and flavorful on the inside — they could rouse even the most sleep-deprived wife or child out of bed on a lazy weekend morning. Dave was a polymath who loved music, science, and engineering. He majored in metallurgy as an undergrad before commissioning in the Navy. He played the oboe and
The Empty Chair The Empty Chair The Empty Chair \| TAPS Darcie Sims There’s an empty chair in our house and I am not sure what to do with it. It’s been empty a long time and although we’ve moved more than a few times since it became empty, we still haul it around with us. It’s not a particularly classic chair or even a very pretty one, and it is empty…all the time. No one moves it; no one suggests putting it away. No one sits in it. It’s just an empty chair. As a military family, we are used to having mem
Winter Beginnings Winter Beginnings Winter Beginnings \| TAPS Michele Nelson Kristi Stolzenberg Out of all four seasons, winter is an obvious metaphor for grief — the dark, the cold, the quiet, and the ending it represents. But, what is often overlooked in this metaphor is that winter is just as much a beginning as it is an ending. The same winter that makes itself at home in December, accompanies us nearly three full months into the new year. Though it’s easy to assume otherwise because we cannot always see it
A Godwink in Denver A Godwink in Denver A Godwink in Denver \| TAPS Robert Bisterfeldt On April 1, 2023, my son, Joseph, had a brain biopsy surgery for his brain tumor, at UCHealth University of Colorado Hospital in Aurora, Colorado. It was a stressful time for my family. Joseph’s last brain biopsy surgery — back in 2013 — came with many post-surgery complications, and we hoped for a better experience this time. My wife, Amy, had just arrived back at the hospital to switch out with me — there was only one perso
Klinger’s Korner: Understanding Your Child’s Unique Way of Being in the World Klinger’s Korner: Understanding Your Child’s Unique Way of Being in the World Klinger’s Korner: Understanding Your Child’s Unique Way of Being in the World \| TAPS Andy McNiel How can three children grow up in the same household and be so entirely different? Many factors play a role in shaping who a child is, how they develop, and the person they become. Some of these factors include their genetics (the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree), their birth order, household circumstances duri
Prioritizing Self-Care While Grieving Prioritizing Self-Care While Grieving Prioritizing Self-Care While Grieving \| TAPS Gloria Horsley In the middle of grief, self-care often falls to the bottom of the priority list. We busy ourselves with arrangements to make, bills to pay, and voids to fill. Distracting ourselves with washing dishes or putting together donations can keep the overwhelming grief at bay – if even for just a little while. But the airlines have it right: If you don’t put on your own oxygen mask first, you’ll nev
Saturday Morning Message: Learning About Ourselves After Loss Saturday Morning Message: Learning About Ourselves After Loss Learning About Ourselves After Loss \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, The opening photo today comes from the TAPS article, “Family Project: Mom Teaches Kids to File Taxes,” written by Rachael Hill. In the article, Rachael Hill writes about taking the talent she had for filing her family’s annual tax return and teaching her children how to accomplish this task since her husband’s annuity comes in their names.
3 Step Hiking Guide to Prepare for Any Trail - Even Grief 3 Step Hiking Guide to Prepare for Any Trail - Even Grief 3 Step Hiking Guide to Prepare for Any Trail - Even Grief \| TAPS Rachel Hunsell Article updated: June 3, 2021 TAPS Outdoors invites you to celebrate National Trails Day on Saturday, June 5, 2021, with your fellow survivors across the nation! We know, regardless of any holiday, there is power in pairing movement with time spent outdoors and the impacts are substantial not only to our physical health, but to our mental and emotiona
Art Allows Expression When There are No Words Art Allows Expression When There are No Words Art Allows Expression When There are No Words \| TAPS Andres Ramos, Jr. The desire was latent in me for a long time even though painting has always been a passion of mine. My parents, especially my mom, pushed me in that direction as a child. I enjoyed portrait realism paintings growing up in Lorain, Ohio. My son Jose enjoyed art too. He went to Campbell University, graduating in 2008 with a degree in art. Jose grew up fascinated with abstract art
Atop a Tower of Grief, a Place to Breathe Atop a Tower of Grief, a Place to Breathe Atop a Tower of Grief, a Place to Breathe \| TAPS Sonia Rai In the last few weeks, people all over the world have watched as the life they once knew, piece by piece, was stripped away from them. People have woken up every day to a world filled more and more with shadows. People have woken up to see the ever expansive landscape of their life become limited. They’ve bit by bit had to let go of things that are outside of their control and retreat furt
Depression vs. Grief Depression vs. Grief Depression vs. Grief \| TAPS Patti Anewalt Most people who are deeply grieving worry whether they are grieving “correctly.” If this is you, perhaps in your moments of deep sadness you wonder what the difference is between grief and depression. This may be compounded if others offer comments such as “You seem to be holding up well” when, on the inside, you are not. It is important to understand the difference between clinical depression and the naturally deep sadness that a
Forest Bathing: Why Soaking In Nature Can Improve Your Health Forest Bathing: Why Soaking In Nature Can Improve Your Health Forest Bathing: Why Soaking In Nature Can Improve Your Health \| TAPS Emily Munoz Forest bathing. Yes. You read that right. Forest bathing. For an easy, self-paced mindfulness exercise, we invite you to try forest bathing. I first heard about this Japanese mindfulness practice from my mother, Anna. She was attending one of our TAPS Inner Warrior Wellness Weekends when we posed a question to the group: How do you find quiet time? W
How to Avoid Burnout, Even at Home How to Avoid Burnout, Even at Home How to Avoid Burnout, Even at Home \| TAPS Grace Seamon-Lahiff In all of the articles and blog posts that have been published on how to cope during COVID-19, I have yet to come across one that talks about the dangers of burnout. Burnout is typically described as one or all of the following: an overwhelming feeling of emotional or physical exhaustion, feeling disconnected from your body or your sense of self, and/or feeling ineffective any time you attempt to
Saturday Morning Message: Books That Have Helped Us Saturday Morning Message: Books That Have Helped Us Books That Have Helped Us \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, The man in the photo is reading a book, "Healing Your Grieving Heart After a Military Death", written by TAPS President and Founder Bonnie Carroll and world renowned grief educator and author Dr. Alan Wolfelt. It is designed to offer encouragement and bring comfort to those who read it. Sometimes it is hard to find a book that you would like to read, so t
Saturday Morning Message: Food has the power to heal Saturday Morning Message: Food has the power to heal Saturday Morning Message: Food has the power to heal \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, After learning that someone’s loved one has passed, one of the things neighbors and friends do is bring their favorite food dish to the bereaved. Foods can help the traumatized body after the loss of a loved one. Chris Shank, brother of Jeremy, shared his thoughts about the love cooking food brought from his grandmother’s kitchen in an article titled "Tast
Saturday Morning Message: Listen, Learn and Love Saturday Morning Message: "Listen.Learn.Love." Listen, Learn and Love \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, We are grateful that you connect with us each week and that the Saturday Morning Message has been a source of hope and comfort to you along your grief journey. At TAPS, we welcome and support all those grieving the loss of a military loved one, no matter how they died. This includes thousands of survivors of military suicide loss to whom we offer hope, healing, and r
Saturday Morning Message: Looking Back on Fond Memories Saturday Morning Message: Looking Back on Fond Memories Looking Back on Fond Memories \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good morning, Good morning, Connecting with other survivors and sharing stories of our loved ones is one of the best parts of TAPS. With the recent restrictions around COVID-19, we have had to do things differently this year, but we can still do it. The National Seminar went online and there were many survivors attending care groups and workshops. You can
What My Grief Has Taught Me About Life and COVID-19 What My Grief Has Taught Me About Life and COVID-19 What My Grief Has Taught Me About Life and COVID-19 \| TAPS Denise Brownlee The entire world has downshifted. COVID-19 and sheltering in place drastically changed how we live our lives. This has been a challenging time for many. It is important to acknowledge that each of our paths is unique. There has been a focus on people grieving the loss of their pre COVID-19 lives, but that doesn’t resonate with me. Instead, I began to realize that my g
Blooms of Hope: Finding Strength Amid Devastation Blooms of Hope: Finding Strength Amid Devastation Blooms of Hope: Finding Strength Amid Devastation \| TAPS Ellen Andrews Twisted, battered and broken. The camellia bushes in my front yard reflected their battle with Mother Nature. To be more specific, their battle with the 150+ mph winds and torrential rain of Hurricane Michael. The storm cut a path of destruction - laying waste to structures, beautiful mighty oak trees and my camellias. My neighborhood was unrecognizable. Mountains of debri
Nashville Songwriters Rock the House for TAPS Families Nashville Songwriters Rock the House for TAPS Families Nashville Songwriters Rock the House for TAPS Families \| TAPS TAPS Four of Nashville’s top songwriters performed in Colorado Springs as headliners for the Colorado Springs Celebrity Classic, a fundraising event for TAPS. The Classic was born 14 years ago in Denver. “There is nothing I wouldn’t do for Bonnie Carroll and TAPS,” said singer/songwriter Brett Jones. “These families deserve our country’s support and I am happy they asked me t
Saluting our Fallen Heroes Nashville Songwriters Show & Dinner Celebrates 25 Years of TAPS Saluting our Fallen Heroes Nashville Songwriters Show & Dinner Celebrates 25 Years of TAPS Saluting our Fallen Heroes Nashville Songwriters Show & Dinner Celebrates 25 Years of TAPS Christine Burtt We did it again! Directors Lynne and Bo Cottrell – along with a great Executive Committee, co-chairs Linda Cavanagh and Kevin Kreymborg, and 80 amazing volunteers, produced the 14th annual Colorado Celebrity Classic to Benefit TAPS – and a celebration of the 25th anniversary of TAPS. Survivor
Finding a Sense of Belonging In Grief Finding a Sense of Belonging In Grief Finding a Sense of Belonging In Grief \| TAPS Marilyn Weisenburg Your heart has broken into a million little pieces and you feel like you can’t take another breath. Stunned beyond your capacity to think through what you need to do next, your entire world has become utterly undone. The ability to fit the pieces back together is insurmountable. You are broken, numb, lost. The thought of ever moving forward from that moment you were told of the death of you
Finding Peace Through Climbing Finding Peace Through Climbing Finding Peace Through Climbing \| TAPS Leslie Gullahorn Olson Teddy Roosevelt used to go off into the wilderness after losses and hard times. This strenuous exercise and connection to nature and self-reliance seemed to be somewhat curative for him. I have personally found this type of adventure to be helpful for me. I hope this journey and others will be healing for you. My father, John Gullahorn, died suddenly from a heart attack in 1987. I was 18 years old.
Finding the Strength to Help My Child Understand Death Finding the Strength to Help My Child Understand Death Finding the Strength to Help My Child Understand Death \| TAPS Barb Allen I had just hit my stride as a wife and mother of four little boys when my husband was killed in Iraq. Our children were just 6, 5, 3 and 1 years old. The pain was immense. The anger was consuming. Every part of me wished for the power to will my husband back to life, so I understood completely when my three-year-old son rolled over in bed one night, pointed to the
Living with Less After Loss Living with Less After Loss Living with Less After Loss \| TAPS Chris Shank As a kid, my brother would always give me a hard time because I choked on food easily. I wouldn't be in danger or anything, but he thought it was hilarious. He'd glare at me from across the table, smile and ask, “You choking?” Years later, after his death, I looked around my messy, crammed apartment and imagined him asking me that question again. Yes, I was choking. Not on food this time, but on stuff. I was choking a
Make it Your Mission to Be There for Someone in Crisis Make it Your Mission to Be There for Someone in Crisis Make it Your Mission to Be There for Someone in Crisis \| TAPS Kim Ruocco September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, and military units around the world are joining the Defense Suicide Prevention Office and its partners, including the National Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention, the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors and other organizations that are there for those who are struggling or are in crisis. Suicide is one of the
Walking in Dad's Footsteps Walking in Dad's Footsteps Walking in Dad's Footsteps \| TAPS Weston Haycock Editor’s note: November is National Children’s Grief Awareness Month. Throughout the month, we will feature stories from surviving children, grief professionals and TAPS staff to draw attention to the needs of grieving children, and how best to support them. When I was born, my father wanted to name me after one of his favorite artists. He and my mother argued between whether I would be named Leonardo, Fletc
6 Ways to Honor Surviving Loved Ones on This Gold Star Mother’s and Family’s Day 6 Ways to Honor Surviving Loved Ones on This Gold Star Mother’s and Family’s Day 6 Ways to Honor Surviving Loved Ones on This Gold Star Mother’s and Family’s Day Marilyn Weisenburg The Senate established Gold Star Mother’s and Family’s Day in 1936, and every year, our President makes a proclamation to express love, sorrow and honor towards those families considered to be Gold Star Families. How can you demonstrate your love and respect for those loved ones who died while serving in the mil
7 Random Acts of Kindness to Celebrate a Life Well Lived 7 Random Acts of Kindness to Celebrate a Life Well Lived 7 Random Acts of Kindness to Celebrate a Life Well Lived P. Ann Brothers We perform random acts of kindness on a regular basis without giving it much thought. This week, my son Army Maj. Steven Brothers would have celebrated his 41st birthday. In his honor, our family wanted to have at least 41 random acts of kindness completed to celebrate a life well lived. Here are some that touched the hearts of many. I hope they will inspire you
A Holiday Playlist to Remember Your Loved One A Holiday Playlist to Remember Your Loved One A Holiday Playlist to Remember Your Loved One \| TAPS Allison Gilbert “Music is one of the strongest tethers we have to the past,” Kenneth Bilby, former director of the Center for Black Music Research at Columbia College Chicago, tells me. “It’s a critically important carrier of memory.” With this notion in mind, I’ll reveal a story about my family I recently shared publicly for the first time: My uncle dictated a note to me one day before he d
Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Favorite Meals Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Favorite Meals Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Favorite Meals Carol Lane Good morning, Last week’s question came from an idea that Bonnie Jo, mother of Andrew, sent along with an article in the Spring 2017 TAPS Magazine, titled, “Making Memories at Mealtimes.” Since the Fourth of July will be celebrated on Tuesday, many of us will share a meal with family and friends. This is one place where memories are made. A week ago, I spent some time with my family w
What Eligible Military Survivors Need to Know About the TRICARE Changes What Eligible Military Survivors Need to Know About the TRICARE Changes What Eligible Military Survivors Need to Know About the TRICARE Changes \| TAPS TAPS Updated Jan. 3, 2018 Surviving spouses and children eligible for TRICARE can expect to see stories of changes to the military’s health care system in the coming months, as mandated by the 2017 National Defense Authorization Act. The current TRICARE Standard and TRICARE Extra plans will be merged into a single plan, called TRICARE Select.
Connecting Through Experience Connecting Through Experience Connecting Through Experience Mark Evans I came to Peer Mentoring not by education but by experience. I was involved with my church for a number of years with an organization called Stephen Ministry, a program that trains people to help others get through hard times by offering support and letting people know they are not alone in their struggles. I came to Stephen Ministry after losing my older brother by his own hand. I worked with Stephen Ministry for two yea
Holiday Emotions Only Your #tapsfam Understands Holiday Emotions Only Your #tapsfam Understands Holiday Emotions Only Your #tapsfam Understands TAPS If you’ve ever seen the movie Elf, you know that there are times you just might not “fit in.” Whether you need to dig into the holidays or to completely disconnect from them, there’s no place that grief takes you that your #tapsfam doesn’t understand. We’ve lived through the extremes, and we’ve made it through the melancholy in between–you will make it, too. What we've learned by living is
Kicking Off Our 21st Year - TAPS 2015 Winter in Review Kicking Off Our 21st Year - TAPS 2015 Winter in Review Kicking Off Our 21st Year - TAPS 2015 Winter in Review TAPS Happy March, America’s Family. We are thinking spring here as much as possible in D.C. after the latest ice storm. It has been a cold winter here, but there’s been so much to warm our hearts this past month as the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) geared up for our twenty-first year of caring for the families of America’s fallen heroes. Our staff has put toget
teams4taps Marks Second Anniversary teams4taps Marks Second Anniversary teams4taps Marks Second Anniversary TAPS The teams4taps program celebrated its two-year anniversary in November. The occasion set in motion an exciting end-of-year schedule of team engagements. Across America, survivors and their heroes were honored both on and off the playing field. And the momentum continues - in 2016, teams4taps is poised to expand relationships with professional sports teams. With each interaction, more dreams come true for TAPS famil
Saturday Morning Message: Reward Your Bravery Saturday Morning Message: Reward Your Bravery Saturday Morning Message: Reward Your Bravery Carol Lane Good Morning, Taking care of yourself can be a hard concept for many of us. Most survivors have been raised to think that giving to others is more important than taking care of our needs. When you are grieving, it is important to take care of yourself since grief depletes both physical and mental energy. Self-care is not selfish; it is necessary to replenish ourselves so we can have the sta
What Do You Say, Dear? What Do You Say, Dear? What Do You Say, Dear? TAPS Handling Holiday Invitations If you would like to receive the TAPS Saturday Morning Message each week, please ask to be added to our list by writing to online@taps.org. The winter holiday season arrives each year just when we may feel like pulling the covers over our heads and ignoring it altogether. Invitations to parties and festive events arrive like clockwork. We are torn because we are not sure if we are ready to celebrate,
Saturday Morning Message: Displaying Memorabilia Saturday Morning Message: Displaying Memorabilia Saturday Morning Message: Displaying Memorabilia Carol Lane Good Morning, This week’s question was inspired by Merry, surviving mother of Wesley. She sent a picture of what she had done to produce Wes’s Honor Wall. The thought crossed my mind that it might be good to find out what others have done with those special mementoes, so last week’s question asked survivors what they chose to do with these beloved items. The answers were varied and in
Reflections of a First Time Mentor Reflections of a First Time Mentor Reflections of a First Time Mentor Robert Statchen One of the many TAPS activities offered throughout the year is the summer overnight Good Grief Camp-Out for children who have lost a parent or sibling. I was honored to have the opportunity to volunteer at one of these camps last June and would like to share my experience. In addition to the tragic death of a loved one, many TAPS children also experience a break with the military lifestyle they have kn
Spotlight on Service: Roseanne Lehman Spotlight on Service: Roseanne Lehman Spotlight on Service: Roseanne Lehman TAPS Although she’s not a survivor of a military death, Roseanne Lehman is no stranger to loss and grieving. She’s relatively new to involvement with TAPS, but certainly not a new face to the volunteer scene. And from the looks of it, she’s here to stay for the long haul. A native New Yorker now living in the Metropolitan DC area, she’s found a new sense of purpose and focus with the TAPS family. Roseanne was born
Run and Remember: Healthy Kids Fun Run Run and Remember: Healthy Kids Fun Run Run and Remember: Healthy Kids Fun Run Betsy Beard A Growing Component of the TAPS Run and Remember Team The year was 2004. The TAPS Run and Remember team had been tying up their shoelaces and running to honor their loved ones for the previous four years. For the first time, TAPS expanded the Run and Remember Team to include our TAPS children running the Marine Corps Marathon Healthy Kids Fun Run. “At that time everyone gathered at the Iwo Jima Memor
Tips for Self-Care Tips for Self-Care Tips for Self-Care Judy Tatelbaum Excerpted from: You Don’t Have to Suffer In the early months of grieving, it is easy to lose sight of the importance of taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and socially. Here are some easy ways to incorporate self-care into these difficult days. Diet A healthy, well-balanced diet of proteins, vegetables, fruit, grains, and a minimum of fats and sugars is important. We can educate ourselves on what
Holiday Healing for the Body, Mind, and Spirit Holiday Healing for the Body, Mind, and Spirit Holiday Healing for the Body, Mind, and Spirit Mary Jane Hurley Brant The holidays have arrived. Normally they are a time for family fun and celebration but when you are grieving the loss of someone who has died, the season is different: it is painful. Grieving is a long process. It takes time to heal from the loss of a loved one. When we are grieving, we can feel completely overwhelmed with sadness, overwhelmed with missing the beloved person
Grief and Fiction Grief and Fiction Grief and Fiction \| TAPS Joan Donaldson I am a freelance writer — I’ve published a number of magazine articles and personal essays, but when my son, the late Sargent Mateo Donaldson, took his life in February 2015, I could only stare at my computer screen. About five months later, at a writer’s conference where I was leading a workshop, a friend asked, “How are you doing? Have you written about your son’s death?” “No,” I shook my head. I couldn’t even form the words to tel
October 20, 2021 October 20, 2021 TAPS Statement for the Record \| TAPS News Advocacy Proprietary Footer October 20, 2021 - TAPS Statement for the Record Before the Committee on Veterans’ Affairs, United States House of Representatives, Subcommittee on Disability Assistance and Memorial Affairs, Hearing on Pending Legislation The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) is the national provider of comfort, care, and resources to all those grieving the death of a military loved one. TAPS was founded in
March 20, 2018 March 20, 2018 TAPS Statement for the Record \| TAPS News Advocacy Proprietary Footer March 20, 2018 - TAPS Statement for the Record Before the United States House of Representatives, Subcommittee On Economic Opportunity, Committee On Veterans Affairs The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) is the national nonprofit organization providing compassionate care for the families of America’s fallen military heroes. TAPS provides peer-based emotional support, grief and trauma resources
Seminar: New England New England Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp New England Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp ADULT SEMINAR TAPS Regional Seminars feature activities, workshops, small group discussions, memorial celebrations, and special events. We provide the opportunity to exchange stories, give and receive inspiration, and create lasting connections with others who understand the loss of a military loved one. GOOD GRIEF CAMP TAPS Good Grief Camp provides a safe and supportive atmosphere for child
Finding Our Way With Ford Finding Our Way With Ford Finding Our Way With Ford \| TAPS Patty Stubenhofer David El-Taher, Laura Rose Monk Crystal Becker So much life happens in cars. They carry us where we need to go — where we want to go. In them, we laugh, pep ourselves up for big days, and sing along to our favorite songs without inhibition. They are a part of first dates and first days of school; with their help, we bring home new puppies and new babies. On long drives, we share stories and snacks, nap deeply in the pa
You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part Two You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part Two You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part Two \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt Editor's Note This is part two of a six-part series adapted from Dr. Alan Wolfelt's book, You're Not Crazy — You're Grieving. Part one appeared in the summer issue of TAPS Magazine. It's Important for You to Feel Safe and Comforted Have you felt stressed, anxious, fearful, agitated, panicked, worried, or uneasy since the death? I’m not sure grief is possib
Money Matters Money Matters Money Matters Terri Starliper Dealing with Death, Dollars, & Sense On August 5, 2000, I married USAF Technical Sergeant Christopher Sheaffer. We had been together for almost 3 years. Chris was a Freefall Instructor at the Yuma Proving Grounds in Arizona. I was an accountant in Phoenix. Chris had two daughters from a previous marriage. We had bought a fixer-upper house in Phoenix with land where we could keep our horses. I had been recently promoted. We were set. Life was pict
Embracing the Sadness of Grief Embracing the Sadness of Grief Embracing the Sadness of Grief \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt “In every heart, there is an inner room, where we can hold our greatest treasures and our deepest pain.” — Marianne Williamson Sadness is a hallmark symptom of grief, which in turn is the consequence of losing something we care about. In this way, you could say that sadness and love are inextricably linked. Yes, when you are grieving, it is normal to feel sad. I would even argue that it is necessary to fee
November 17, 2021 November 17, 2021 TAPS Statement for the Record \| TAPS News Advocacy Proprietary Footer November 17, 2021 - TAPS Statement for the Record Before the Committee on Oversight and Reform, United States House of Representatives, Subcommittee on National Security, Hearing on Mental Health and Suicide Among Active Duty Servicemembers, Veterans, And Family Members Presented by Dr. Carla Stumpf Patton, Senior Director, Postvention Programs The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) is the n
Faces of TAPS: Surviving Mother Holly Higgins Story Faces of TAPS: Surviving Mother Holly Higgins Story Faces of TAPS: Surviving Mother Holly Higgins Story \| TAPS TAPS Holly Higgins Faces of TAPS gives military survivors the space to, in their own words, both celebrate the lives of their military loved ones and reflect on their personal grief journey. Holly Higgins, surviving mother of U.S. Air Force Senior Airman Daniel James Johnson, lives her life to honor her son. In 2010, Daniel was killed in action in Afghanistan and, ever since, Holly a
Loving Two Men at Once Loving Two Men at Once Loving Two Men at Once \| TAPS Heather Gray Blalock I assessed my hair and makeup in the rearview mirror one last time and took a deep breath as we exited the car. The kids had scribbled “Welcome Home” on the back side of a roll of wrapping paper and were taking turns whacking each other with it. In the mad dash for the airport, we had forgotten the American flags we normally bring to homecomings, and I chided myself for not being better prepared. My fiancé was coming ho
Expressing Your Grief: Healing Through Writing Expressing Your Grief: Healing Through Writing Expressing Your Grief: Healing Through Writing \| TAPS Stephanie Frogge "Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break." ~ William Shakespeare Going public – sharing one's letters, poems, or other written thoughts – is an intensely personal and potentially risky experience. But not all writing has to be widely read to be valuable. Keeping a diary or writing a letter that no one but you will eve
Hidden Gems of Serenity in the Outdoors Hidden Gems of Serenity in the Outdoors Hidden Gems of Serenity in the Outdoors \| TAPS Colleen McGinnis This past spring, I ventured out to embark on the TAPS Hidden Gems Expedition in Southern Illinois. Since I had attended a few TAPS Events before, I had some preconceived notions about how the trip would go and how it would make me feel. However, I soon realized that the impact of this expedition was incredibly unique, and it greatly exceeded my expectations. Initially, I decided to look
Supporting Your Children During Uncertain Times Supporting Your Children During Uncertain Times Supporting Your Children During Uncertain Times \| TAPS Sara Firestone Note: This article is republished with permission from the author. It originally appeared on PsychAlive.com. With more schools and offices closing each day due to the COVID-19 pandemic, most parents are finding themselves at home with their kids around the clock. And while it is necessary for our physical health to practice social distancing or sheltering in place during th
Saturday Morning Message: Strategies for good sleep Saturday Morning Message: Strategies for Good Sleep Saturday Morning Message: Strategies for Good Sleep \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, Sleep can be difficult after the death of a loved one. Some find that all they want to do is sleep and others find that getting enough sleep is a challenge. This week survivors shared their ideas about what they do when sleep eludes them. This article from the TAPS Magazine, “To Sleep or Not to Sleep, That is the Problem" may also be helpful. It offers sugg
Saturday Morning Message: An Ornament For Your Loved One Saturday Morning Message: An Ornament For Your Loved One Saturday Morning Message: An Ornament For Your Loved One \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, This week survivors sent answers to the question about making an ornament for their loved one. In addition to the unique responses, Samantha, fiance of Preston, sent this picture of her Christmas tree that I thought would make a great lead picture for this week’s message. Samantha wrote, “Christmas was my favorite holiday and I went all ou
Saturday Morning Message: Memorable Comments Saturday Morning Message: Memorable Comments Saturday Morning Message: Memorable Comments \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, For many of us, the comments people say or the behavior of those who know that we have suffered the death of a loved one are memorable. I know before this event in my life, I had no idea the things people would say or do. The one that fascinates me to this day is when I talk about my son, Bryon, and someone will look or walk away. It is as if by not talking about it, some
Saturday Morning Message: Spiritual Changes Saturday Morning Message: Spiritual Changes Saturday Morning Message: Spiritual Changes \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, The lead picture today comes from the TAPS New Mexico Parents Retreat. I thought it portrayed in a balloon heading up to the sky, our thoughts ascending to the spiritual part of our lives. When a loved one dies, we go through many shifts as our life changes direction. We begin to look at what we need to keep and what we should leave behind. I do my best thinking when I a
Compassion for All Compassion for All Compassion for All Heather Stang If grief is the cold, dark winter, then compassion is the spring. Out of the pain of loss comes the recognition that we are all in this together, and we need each other to make it from one season to the next. Fortunately, there is no shortage of compassion within the TAPS family. Strangers who have never met connect with one another wholeheartedly. United in the shared human experience of profound loss, we offer each other kind words, big
The Dirt on Grief Camps The Dirt on Grief Camps The Dirt on Grief Camps Molly Pickett Tina Barrett I don’t pretend to fully understand what happens at grief camp that changes the way grief feels, but I do believe in it. Deeply. I believe in it because I lived it. I was 12 when my dad died and I was launched into my own grief journey. My life was changed. Not for a day, or a week, or a year. It was my life – changed forever. I felt wrecked. Wrecked is the accurate word. Reflecting back 16 years later, I realize tha
Saturday Morning Message: Advice for Another Survivor Saturday Morning Message: Advice for Another Survivor Saturday Morning Message: Advice for Another Survivor Carol Lane Good Morning, This week the survivors who wrote answered the question, “Knowing what you know now, what would you offer to another person who has lost a loved one?” There were many ideas to contemplate and Karl sent a poem that came from the Internet which I think you will find meaningful. I couldn’t find an author, but I think it says a lot about how a grieving person feels
Beyond the Sea Beyond the Sea Beyond the Sea Cindy Hooks Morrison Scaling Grief Mountain I have filled the ocean deep with tears and scaled a rugged mountain of grief, yelling and wrestling with my faith the whole way. With an aching heart and a broken soul, I climbed and I cried. I crawled and I yelled. I fell. Armed only with the strength of love left behind, I stood up, dusted off, and climbed again. When I got to the top, I saw that the world was waiting for me to emerge on the other side. I let a sile
Expressing Your Grief Expressing Your Grief Expressing Your Grief Stephanie Frogge Healing Through Writing “Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.” ~ William Shakespeare Going public—sharing one's letters, poems, or other written thoughts—is an intensely personal and potentially risky experience. But not all writing has to be widely read to be valuable. Keeping a diary or writing a letter that no one but you will ever read can have a significant posit
Handling the Holidays Handling the Holidays Handling the Holidays Darcie Sims The holidays are coming and I’m not ready. Everything seems to sparkle and there is always so much to do! It is a festive time, filled with joyous occasions and family gatherings. But when your family circle has been broken by death, holidays and special days may only serve to remind you of the empty space at the table, the hole in your heart. I am not sure if I will ever again be ready for the holidays. The world has simply gone mad
The Spiritual Path to Healing, Part 2 The Spiritual Path to Healing, Part 2 The Spiritual Path to Healing, Part 2 Alan Wolfelt Editor’s Note: The death of a loved one challenges us in many areas including our religious and spiritual beliefs. While spirituality and religious tradition help many who are grieving, TAPS does not endorse any one spiritual belief or religion over another. This magazine may well be in your hands because someone you love has died. I am so very sorry for your loss. You have been “torn apart” and have s
A Visit to Arlington A Visit to Arlington A Visit to Arlington \| TAPS Pamela Henne Walking Among the Familiar My letter began, You don’t know me, but you knew my father when you both served in Europe during World War II. My mother has told me how she hears from you at Christmastime and you always speak fondly of Dad and your days together as soldiers. My father was a great man; gracious, patient and most importantly a hero. Of course he never saw himself this way, but I certainly did. He taught me by his action
When Someone You Love Completes Suicide When Someone You Love Completes Suicide When Someone You Love Completes Suicide Alan Wolfelt Opening to the Presence of Your Loss This article is excerpted from Dr. Wolfelt's book The Wilderness of Suicide Grief: Finding Your Way. “In every heart there is an inner room, where we can hold our greatest treasures and our deepest pain.” ~ Marianne Williamson Someone you love has completed suicide. In your heart, you have come to know your deepest pain. To be bereaved literally means to be to
Suicide: The Aftermath Suicide: The Aftermath Suicide: The Aftermath Madeline Lambrecht Guidance from a fellow survivor The latest reports for 2009 show an increasing number of suicides in all branches of the military with the largest increase in the Army. Figures from 2008 show the military suicide rate exceeding the civilian suicide rate for the first time. Suicide Survivors . . . Suicide survivors are spouses, children, parents, siblings, grandparents, military buddies, friends—all who had a relati
I Never Got to Know You… I Never Got to Know You… I Never Got to Know You… Betsy Beard Those of us who have lost a loved one know what it is like to be left holding up our end of a relationship in which the person who died is no longer able to contribute in a meaningful, vocal, earthly, timely fashion. As adults, we cling to the connections we had, the memories we shared, the life we once lived. We touch the physical reminders of our loved one: clothes, “toys,” pictures, favorite belongings. And we strain to remember
Run and Remember: Marine Corps Marathon Forward Run and Remember: Marine Corps Marathon Forward Run and Remember: Marine Corps Marathon Forward Dustin Kazmar Mission Complete for TAPS! Editor’s Note: On October 26, 2008, more than 6,000 miles away from Washington DC, the site of the annual Marine Corps Marathon, hundreds of service members ran in the sands of Iraq to honor our Fallen Heroes. This is one Marine’s amazing report. Race day! I wake up at 0400 and jump in the shower to start my morning. While I am shaving I hear what sounds
Run and Remember: My Destiny Run and Remember: My Destiny Run and Remember: My Destiny Xiomara Hall A Journey from Arlington to Arlington I used to think life was an adventure. I had lived through so much in my few years... I experienced loss early in my life when my mother passed, but I still I believed it was the natural order of things: children bury their parents. As I reflect on that period I understand now that it was part of a master plan, one that I did not understand, one I could not control, one that would car
Godwinks: To The Stars Godwinks: To The Stars Godwinks: To The Stars \| TAPS Davina French The rain beat down, creating puddles on the road that could throw your vehicle around a bit. The passenger window went down again. This time about four inches, I rolled it up and told Scout to quit messing with me. As soon as I got the passenger window back up, my driver’s window started to go up and down erratically. Then it went down and stayed down. Doing 60 mph, drenched by the sideways rain now inside my vehicle, I turned
Family Camp: California California Family Camp TAPS California Surviving Military Family Camp Find comfort and support for your family while surrounded by the healing powers of nature. About Family Camps TAPS Family Camps allow your family to step away from the stresses of daily life, develop insight about your individual grief journey, and learn how to grieve as a family using new tools for the path ahead. Family Camps provide a setting where families build communication, broaden understanding
Family Camp: Georgia Georgia Family Camp and Partnership with Camp Southern Ground TAPS Georgia Surviving Military Family Camp TAPS is honored to partner with Camp Southern Ground to host our Georgia Family Camp. Find comfort and support for your family while surrounded by the healing powers of nature. About Family Camps TAPS Family Camps allow your family to step away from the stresses of daily life, develop insight about your individual grief journey, and learn how to grieve as a family usi
Family Camp: California California Family Camp TAPS California Surviving Military Family Camp In accordance with the most current information available, as of May 1, 2022, TAPS is lifting the requirement to provide proof of full vaccination to attend in-person events. We will continue to monitor COVID variants and we may adjust protocols to ensure safe and healthy gatherings. These adjustments could once again include requiring proof of full vaccination and/or a negative COVID test. About Family Cam
Family Camp: Pennsylvania Pennsylvania Family Camp TAPS Pennsylvania Surviving Military Family Camp Applications to attend has reached capicity and now closed. In accordance with the most current information available, as of May 1, 2022, TAPS is lifting the requirement to provide proof of full vaccination to attend in-person events. We will continue to monitor COVID variants and we may adjust protocols to ensure safe and healthy gatherings. These adjustments could once again include requiring proof of full vaccinat
Family Camp: Tennessee Tennessee Family Camp TAPS Tennessee Surviving Military Family Camp Applications for this camp are full. Health Guidelines: In accordance with the most current information available, as of May 1, 2022, TAPS is lifting the requirement to provide proof of full vaccination to attend in-person events. We will continue to monitor COVID variants and we may adjust protocols to ensure safe and healthy gatherings. These adjustments could once again include requiring proof of full vaccination and/or
Family Camp: California California Family Camp TAPS California Surviving Military Family Camp In accordance with the most current information available, as of May 1, 2022, TAPS is lifting the requirement to provide proof of full vaccination to attend in-person events. We will continue to monitor COVID variants and we may adjust protocols to ensure safe and healthy gatherings. These adjustments could once again include requiring proof of full vaccination and/or a negative COVID test. Family Camps provide a setting fo
Family Camp: Tennessee Tennessee Family Camp TAPS Tennessee Surviving Military Family Camp In accordance with the most current information available, as of May 1, 2022, TAPS is lifting the requirement to provide proof of full vaccination to attend in-person events. We will continue to monitor COVID variants and we may adjust protocols to ensure safe and healthy gatherings. These adjustments could once again include requiring proof of full vaccination and/or a negative COVID test. About Family Camps
Online Spring Series: New to Grief Online Spring Series: New to Grief TAPS Military Survivor Online Workshop Spring Series: New to Grief Survivors who are less than three years out from their loss are invited to our New To Grief series. We'll talk through what grief looks and feels like, explore some of our secondary losses, and share the ways we've been able to find some comfort (and the ways we're still searching for it). Together, we'll be able to share, listen, and learn; most of all, we'll create a space where w
Family Campout: California California Family Campout TAPS California Surviving Military Family Campout Special Note: As of September 20, 2021, slots for this event are now FULL, applications closed on October 21, 2021. Applications submitted between September 20 and October 21 were added to a waitlist. Applicants will be notified as space becomes available. Find comfort and support for your family while surrounded by the healing powers of nature at our TAPS Family Campout. Family campouts allow your family to step
Family Campout: Illinois Illinois Family Campout TAPS Illinois Surviving Military Family Campout Find comfort and support for your family while surrounded by the healing powers of nature at our TAPS Family Campout. Family campouts allow your family to step away from the stresses of daily life, learn about your individual grief journey as well as how to grieve as a family and give you tools for the path ahead. Through camp activities, like rope courses, swimming and nature walks, family time around the campfire and se
Family Campout: Maryland Maryland Family Campout TAPS Maryland Surviving Military Family Campout Find comfort and support for your family while surrounded by the healing powers of nature at our TAPS Family Campout. Family campouts allow your family to step away from the stresses of daily life, learn about your individual grief journey as well as how to grieve as a family and give you tools for the path ahead. Through camp activities, like rope courses, swimming and nature walks, family time around the campfire and se
Family Campout: Hawaii Hawaii Family Campout TAPS Hawaii Surviving Military Family Campout Find comfort and support for your family while surrounded by the healing powers of nature at our TAPS Family Campout. Family campouts allow your family to step away from the stresses of daily life, learn about your individual grief journey as well as how to grieve as a family and give you tools for the path ahead. Through camp activities, like rope courses, swimming and nature walks, family time around the campfire and separa
Family Campout: Maryland Maryland Family Campout TAPS Maryland Surviving Military Family Campout Find comfort and support for your family while surrounded by the healing powers of nature at our TAPS Family Campout. Family campouts allow your family to step away from the stresses of daily life, learn about your individual grief journey as well as how to grieve as a family and give you tools for the path ahead. Through camp activities, like rope courses, swimming and nature walks, family time around the campfire and se
Family Campout: Tennessee Tennessee Family Campout TAPS Tennessee Surviving Military Family Campout Find comfort and support for your family while surrounded by the healing powers of nature at our TAPS Family Campout. Family campouts allow your family to step away from the stresses of daily life, learn about your individual grief journey as well as how to grieve as a family and give you tools for the path ahead. Through camp activities, like rope courses, swimming and nature walks, family time around the campfire and
Family Campout: Texas Texas Family Campout TAPS Texas Surviving Military Family Campout Find comfort and support for your family while surrounded by the healing powers of nature at our TAPS Family Campout. Family campouts allow your family to step away from the stresses of daily life, learn about your individual grief journey as well as how to grieve as a family and give you tools for the path ahead. Through camp activities, like rope courses, swimming and nature walks, family time around the campfire and separate
Volunteer: Mentor at National Seminar Legacy or Military Mentor Volunteer at National Good Grief Camp Volunteer as a Military or Legacy Mentor in D.C. \| TAPS TAPS invites those currently serving in the military, veterans, and military survivors who have graduated from Good Grief Camp to register to volunteer as a mentor for the 25th Anniversary TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp. The world changes for grieving children when someone is there for them — and that's where you come in. At this special even
Young Adult: San Antonio TAPS Young Adult San Antonio Experience TAPS Young Adult San Antonio Experience Young Adult Experiences offer real world life skills to military surviving children and siblings, ages 18 to 25. The purpose of this is to ease the transition into adulthood for our young survivors as we guide them through finding answers to everyday questions they can no longer ask their deceased parent or sibling. The 5 Pillars of the Young Adult Program are personal development, career development, financial st
Youth: California Southern California Good Grief Campout TAPS Southern California Military Survivor Good Grief Campout Create lasting friendships. Lean into adventure. Breathe fresh air. And build resiliency, companionships and robust marshmallow toasting skills. Join us at the TAPS Southern California Good Grief Campout, where the combination of nature and #tapsfam is nothing short of summertime magic. Good Grief Campouts are for children ages 6 to 17 who have lost a parent/guardian or sibling who was serving
Family Campout: Tennessee Tennessee Family Campout TAPS Tennessee Surviving Military Family Campout Camper application now closed. Find comfort and support for your family while surrounded by the healing powers of nature at our TAPS Family Campout. Family campouts allow your family to step away from the stresses of daily life, learn about your individual grief journey as well as how to grieve as a family and give you tools for the path ahead. Through camp activities, like rope courses, swimming and nature walks,
Family Campout: Texas Texas Family Campout TAPS Texas Surviving Military Family Campout Camp applications are now closed. Serving as Legacy or Military Mentor? Registration and Event Information Find comfort and support for your family while surrounded by the healing powers of nature at our TAPS Family Campout. Family campouts allow your family to step away from the stresses of daily life, learn about your individual grief journey as well as how to grieve as a family and give you tools for the path ahead. Th
Family Campout: Washington Washington Family Campout TAPS Washington Surviving Military Family Campout Find comfort and support for your family while surrounded by the healing powers of nature at our TAPS Family Campout. Family campouts allow your family to step away from the stresses of daily life, learn about your individual grief journey as well as how to grieve as a family and give you tools for the path ahead. Through camp activities, like a challenge course, nature walks, family time around the campfire and sep
Youth: California Southern California Good Grief Campout TAPS Southern California Military Survivor Good Grief Campout Camper registration now closed. Serving as Legacy or Military Mentor? Registration and Event Information Create lasting friendships. Lean into adventure. Breathe fresh air. And build resiliency, friendships and robust marshmallow toasting skills. Join us at the TAPS Southern California Good Grief Campout, where the combination of nature and #tapsfam is nothing short of summertime magic.
Family Retreat: Georgia Georgia Family Retreat TAPS Georgia Military Family Retreat Already Registered? Manage My Events Find comfort and support for your family while surrounded by the healing powers of nature at our TAPS Family Retreat. Family retreats allow your family to step away from the stresses of daily life, learn about your individual grief journey — as well as how to grieve as a family — and give you tools for the path ahead. Through camp activities, like rope courses and nature walks, family time and se
Family Retreat: Tennessee Tennessee Family Retreat Tennessee Family Retreat Find comfort and support for your family while surrounded by the healing powers of nature at our TAPS Family Retreat. Family retreats allow your family to step away from the stresses of daily life, learn about your individual grief journey as well as how to grieve as a family and give you tools for the path ahead. Through camp activities, like rope courses, swimming and nature walks, family time and separate group time for adults and childr
Family Retreat: Washington Washington Family Retreat Washington Family Retreat Find comfort and support for your family while surrounded by the healing powers of nature at our TAPS Family Retreat. Family retreats allow your family to step away from the stresses of daily life, learn about your individual grief journey as well as how to grieve as a family and give you tools for the path ahead. Through camp activities, like rope courses, swimming and nature walks, family time and separate group time for adults and chil
Inner Warrior: Baltimore Intro to Running Training Camp Intro to Running Training Camp Are you a survivor who has been hesitant about committing to run the Marine Corps Marathon or Army Ten-Miler, but you know that 2017 is your year? Join us at the Inner Warrior Intro to Running Training Camp! We will share the journey with you from first steps to finish line. The TAPS Inner Warrior Program addresses health and wellness for survivors. We believe that knowledge, practical tools and radical self-care can help you rea
Inner Warrior: Missouri Inner Warrior St. Louis Wellness Weekend Inner Warrior Wellness Weekend Make the decision to focus on your health and wellness! Join us for a weekend of innovative movement, nutrition guidance and camaraderie at the Inner Warrior Wellness Weekend. We'll explore the body's response to stress and grief, teaching you how to release muscle tension, self-doubt and patterns of negativity. Through hands-on workshops, workouts and discussion, we'll share and practice skills for healthy living. B
Self-Funded Travel: Bali Travel to Bali: A Journey of Nourishment, Enlightenment and Renewal--Event Cancelled Travel to Bali: A Journey of Nourishment, Enlightenment and Renewal PLEASE NOTE: Event has been cancelled. When it feels as though grief has robbed you of beauty, it's time to seek it out. There's no better place to rediscover magic, spirit and love than on the Indonesian island of Bali. Against the backdrop of forested volcanic mountains, coral reefs and magnificent beaches, you'll plunge deeply into awar
Youth: California Southern California Good Grief Campout Southern California Good Grief Campout Create lasting friendships. Lean into adventure. Breathe fresh air. And build resiliency, friendships and robust marshmallow toasting skills. Join us at the TAPS Southern California Good Grief Campout, where the combination of nature and #tapsfam is nothing short of summertime magic. At the campout, nature sets the stage. Lakes, pools, trails, fire circles, open skies, sports fields and green trees provide a ba
Youth: North Carolina North Carolina Good Grief Campout North Carolina Good Grief Campout Create lasting friendships. Lean into adventure. Breathe fresh air. And build resiliency, friendships and robust marshmallow toasting skills. Join us at the TAPS North Carolina Good Grief Campout, where the combination of nature and #tapsfam is nothing short of summertime magic. At the campout, nature sets the stage. Lakes, pools, trails, fire circles, open skies, sports fields and green trees provide a backdrop that's b
Retreats: Tahoe Siblings Tahoe Siblings Retreat Tahoe Siblings Retreat FOR SIBLINGS The Tahoe Siblings Retreat will be a space to face the fears and struggles that may be holding you back in your grief journey. Through physical activity and quiet moments of reflection, we’ll find strength to move toward hope and healing. Throughout the weekend, we’ll connect with each other through activities and experience the support that comes from shared loss. ADVENTURE LEVEL his retreat is rated as a challenging adventure. T
Webinar: Suicide Prevention: Subintentional Suicide, High-Risk and Indirect Life-Threatening Behaviors Webinar: Suicide Prevention: Subintentional Suicide, High-Risk and Indirect Life-Threatening Behaviors Webinar: Suicide Prevention: Subintentional Suicide, High-Risk and Indirect Life-Threatening Behaviors What Military Families, Leadership and Caregiving Professionals Need to Know Expert Speaker: M. David Rudd, PhD, ABPP, University of Utah, Dean, College of Social and Behavioral Science, Professor of Psychology. Program Moderator: Jill Harrington LaMorie, MSW, LSW, ACSW, Director, Professi
Healing on the Line Healing on the Line Healing on the Line \| TAPS Larry Mace This article is adapted from Larry’s original article which was published in the February/March 2024 issue of Fly Fisherman magazine. Unfortunately, I am the father of an Army hero who was killed in the battle of Kamdesh, on October 3, 2009, in Afghanistan. When my son, Stephan Mace, was stationed at Fort Carson, Colorado, I went out to visit him for two weeks to share our love for the outdoors. We hiked in the snow to U
You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part Four You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part Four You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part Four \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt Editor's Note This is part four of a six-part series adapted from Dr. Alan Wolfelt's book, You're Not Crazy — You're Grieving. Parts one through three were published in the summer 2023, fall 2023, and spring 2024 issues of TAPS Magazine. Telling Your Stories Helps You Survive Telling your stories of love and loss helps you survive. The more you allow you
Mentoring the Next Generation of Surviving Children Mentoring the Next Generation of Surviving Children Mentoring the Next Generation of Surviving Children \| TAPS Ashley Leal Jacob Brinneman The Power of Peer Support Carries on Through Legacy Mentors If you have ever attended a TAPS Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp — maybe a regional seminar or the National Military Survivor Seminar over Memorial Day weekend — you may have seen a group of children being led by volunteers in navy blue, purple, or white t-shirts. These volunt
Discover a New Sense of Meaning and Purpose by Becoming a TAPS Peer Mentor Discover a New Sense of Meaning and Purpose by Becoming a TAPS Peer Mentor Discover a New Sense of Meaning and Purpose by Becoming a TAPS Peer Mentor \| TAPS Michelle Knuppe Peer Mentors are the foundation of the TAPS mission to provide compassionate care to all those grieving the death of a military loved one. Mentors offer support in ways that only someone who has walked the unique path of military loss can provide. Survivors often express gratitude for the support they received from a me
Grieving in the Closet Grieving in the Closet Grieving in the Closet \| TAPS Chandler Keeling When I lost my dad to suicide in 2009, I was in the 8th grade and just beginning to discover myself. My dad went on two tours to Iraq and I spent those awkward adolescent years relentlessly bullied for being “different” and too feminine for a boy. My memories from that time are a slide show of moments trying desperately to fit in while simultaneously missing my dad, the one who would load my iPod with any music I wanted wit
Mental Health Help: Is it the Right Option for Me? Mental Health Help: Is it the Right Option for Me? Mental Health Help: Is it the Right Option for Me? \| TAPS Karissa Kelley TAPS understands that choosing to get mental health help is rarely a simple or an easy decision. The idea of therapy can feel scary and foreign. Stigmatizing messages get in the way. Grief can make you feel like you are literally losing your mind. It is easy to start thinking that you are the problem and that no one can help you. You are BRAVE for seeking out the help
TAPS Young Adults Program: A Place for Community And Transformative Healing and Growth TAPS Young Adults Program: A Place for Community And Transformative Healing and Growth TAPS Young Adults Program: A Place for Community And Transformative Healing and Growth Joelle Leek The TAPS Young Adults Program supports 18-30 year old military surviving children and siblings. Utilizing foundational pillars of financial stability, communications, career guidance, personal development and service to others, the program helps survivors grow through their grief and become well rounded young
Tribute to the Honorable Robert J. Dole Tribute to the Honorable Robert J. Dole Tribute to the Honorable Robert J. Dole \| TAPS TAPS TAPS Honorary Board Member July 22, 1923 — December 5, 2021 In December 5, 2021, our longtime friend, the Honorable Robert J. Dole, 98, passed away in the early morning hours. His precious family, our nation, and our TAPS family will dearly miss him. He was a warrior and the “greatest of the greatest generation,” always placing his beloved country above partisanship and politics. In 194
Carry the Load in Honor of our Nation's Fallen Heroes Carry the Load in Honor of our Nation's Fallen Heroes Carry the Load in Honor of our Nation's Fallen Heroes \| TAPS TAPS “It has been an honor to walk with so many gold star families this year on our national relay. To carry their loved ones and share their stories is what makes partnering with TAPS so impactful. We magnify our missions.” ~ Debbie Wright, Executive Director of Carry The Load Phoenix, Arizona Carry The Load’s mission to restore the true meaning of Memorial Day wa
Military Leadership Honors Our Taps Family Military Leadership Honors Our Taps Family Military Leadership Honors Our Taps Family \| TAPS TAPS “The Department of Defense does a great job, from the time we recruit to retire, from the time we induct to inter, if someone dies on active duty or in retirement. But they stop at that point. Not because they want to stop, but because at that point, it’s really hard for the federal government to keep track of where a surviving family goes when they’ve lost a loved one. And that’s wher
Three Ways to Boost Memories of Loved Ones This Holiday Season Three Ways to Boost Memories of Loved Ones This Holiday Season Three Ways to Boost Memories of Loved Ones This Holiday Season \| TAPS Allison Gilbert We know holidays can be challenging for individuals who’ve lost loved ones, but they also offer opportunities for keeping memories alive. Below are three of my favorite ways to honor and celebrate the family and friends we never want to forget. Use Social Media If you can’t be with your family for the holidays, share memories of your love
A Life Remembered, A Tradition Continued A Life Remembered, A Tradition Continued A Life Remembered, A Tradition Continued \| TAPS Anne Murphy My son, Michael, was a career Marine. He attended flight school in Pensacola, Florida and in a beautiful ceremony, my husband proudly pinned wings on Michael’s chest. Michael flew CH46 and CH53 helicopters. It was very exciting for my husband and I to have opportunities to see him fly. In 1996, he became President Clinton’s helicopter pilot as a member of Marine Helicopter Squadron One (HMX)
Five Practical Tips to Reduce Anxiety, Calm Fear Five Practical Tips to Reduce Anxiety, Calm Fear Five Practical Tips to Reduce Anxiety, Calm Fear \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt Editor’s note: This is an excerpt from Dr. Alan Wolfelt’s book “Too Much Loss: Coping with Grief Overload.” Although this book specifically addresses what happens when you experience multiple losses in a short period of time, these tips for dealing with fear and anxiety are useful for anyone experiencing these feelings. Loss naturally makes us fearful because it disrupt
Little Things Mean a Lot During Stressful Times Little Things Mean a Lot During Stressful Times Little Things Mean a Lot During Stressful Times \| TAPS Kim Ruocco “Be careful what you wish for.” That phrase keeps playing over and over in my mind. I have longed for down time to rest, paint, read a book and just be with my family. It seemed like the answer to recovery from my fast-paced, travel-intensive job. I got what I asked for — but not in the way I thought it would play out. COVID-19 and the stay-at-home orders that came along with it
Observe Junk Food Day to Remember and Celebrate a Loved One Observe Junk Food Day to Remember and Celebrate a Loved One! Observe Junk Food Day to Remember and Celebrate a Loved One \| TAPS Ginny Bouchard National Junk Food Day is upon us! The day is dedicated to the unhealthy treats we try to avoid, but we love so much. My daughter, Lily, and I use food as a method to remember and celebrate our hero, Master Sgt. John Bouchard. At 8 years old, Lily can sometimes struggle with remembering her dad and the things he loved. She regularly asks, “Would Dad l
The Benefits of Walking Outside The Benefits of Walking Outside The Benefits of Walking Outside \| TAPS Tony Paz On a very cold winter day not too long ago, I was out on a wooded trail only a few minutes from home. It was overcast and gray. The water falling from the sky couldn’t quite make up its mind whether it was rain, drizzle, or simply a fine mist permeating everything. The wind decided to show up too, directing some of the moisture sideways onto my face. Yet there I was, moving along at a brisk p
A Mother Finds Healing at Empowerment Retreat A Mother Finds Healing at Empowerment Retreat A Mother Finds Healing at Empowerment Retreat \| TAPS Belinda Barron The setting in Sedona was spectacular — it felt like heaven met earth. I stood in awe in of the surroundings, which helped me feel alive, grateful and blessed. The landscape changed moment to moment according to your perspective. As our perspective went to a more gracious and giving place, our soul’s happiness grew and our ability to trust and love grew accordingly. The beauty wa
Community of Support and Compassion Provides Anchor ‘Community of Support and Compassion’ Provides Anchor Community of Support and Compassion Provides Anchor \| TAPS Marilyn Mosley Gordanier When I received the call that my beloved son Michael had died by suicide, I thought that life was over. I have two other amazing children, incredible grandchildren, a loving partner and a rich life. But deeply buried inside me was such sadness about my son, my boy, my baby. One day I received a call from Terri Jones at TAPS who supports military suicide s
Conference for Suicide Loss: Making Connections, Sharing Hope Conference for Suicide Loss: Making Connections, Sharing Hope Conference for Suicide Loss: Making Connections, Sharing Hope \| TAPS TAPS The death of a loved one by suicide brings profound feelings of shame, guilt, regret and a host of other emotions for the survivors left behind. Many survivors struggle with mental, physical and emotional trauma that may affect every facet of their lives. Experts in the field of suicidology know that giving voice to that overwhelming grief can go a long way t
Finding Peace, One Piece at a Time Finding Peace, One Piece at a Time Finding Peace, One Piece at a Time \| TAPS Amy Tucci In life, we refer to our loved one’s possessions as their stuff and things. In death, they signify forever connections to cherished memories. – Rachel Kodanaz Rachel Kodanaz, whose husband, Rod, died suddenly when she was 31, knows of what she writes in her new and immensely helpful book, Finding Peace, One Piece at a Time. Kodanaz found intense meaning and intimacy in Rod’s belongings following his dea
Flashback Fridays: TAPS Magazine TAPS Magazine: A source of inspiration, comfort, support and resources TAPS Magazine: A source of inspiration, comfort, support and resources \| TAPS TAPS Each Friday, please visit our blog and join us as we take a look back at stories, people and events that have shaped who we are today. We are a family of survivors honoring our selfless heroes who paid the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom. We are grieving parents, spouses, children, siblings, grandparents, fiancées, battle buddies and l
Holding a Safe Space for Men Holding a Safe Space for Men Holding a Safe Space for Men \| TAPS Lalaine Estella What we’ve come to know at TAPS is that men and women grieve differently. Men can be more stoic and reserved, while women are more expressive. While men in general tend to grieve more privately, women often feel more comfortable grieving with the support of others. Men often wear a public face of strength hoping not to show their pain, but in reality, they need just as much care and support after losing someone
Memorial Day brings a mix of emotions Memorial Day brings a mix of emotions Memorial Day brings a mix of emotions \| TAPS Rachael Hill Memorial Day used to be simply a three-day weekend that our family spent doing some kind of adventure — camping, 4-wheeling, barbecuing, etc. Since becoming a Gold Star family however, the meaning of the day has changed dramatically. The true meaning of the day is now etched into our minds and brings with it sorrow and tears, but also pride in remembrance. Since my husband Jeff’s de
'My brother brought us together’ 'My brother brought us together’ My brother brought us together \| TAPS Deb Lucey In May 2013, I attended the TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar and went to watch Rolling Thunder, the massive motorcycle rally in Washington, D.C., that occurs every Memorial Day weekend. Hundreds of thousands of members on motorcycles do a slow ride, called the Ride to Freedom, to honor the military fallen and their loved ones. The ride starts at the Pentagon and heads to the monuments on the National Mall.
TAPS Advisory Board Members recognized for their outstanding work TAPS Advisory Board Members recognized for their outstanding work TAPS Advisory Board Members recognized for their outstanding work \| TAPS TAPS TAPS Advisory Board member and internationally-recognized expert in grief and loss, Kenneth J. Doka, Ph.D., was recognized April 12 with the Lifetime Achievement Award from the Association for Death Education and Counseling. The award was presented at ADEC’s 41st annual conference, held in Atlanta. Ken Doka, who serves on the TAPS advisory board, is
TAPS Care Groups: Finding Comfort Together TAPS Care Groups: Finding Comfort Together TAPS Care Groups: Finding Comfort Together Lalaine Estella The need to be understood and connect with others is key to finding hope and healing. Every month, hundreds of our TAPS family members are embraced in Care Groups to have honest discussions about grief and loss in a safe space. Although these gatherings are not therapy, they are therapeutic and allow us to explore the emotions we encounter on our grief journey. We find comfort in the supporti
Veteran climbs Denali to raise money for TAPS Veteran climbs Denali to raise money for TAPS Veteran climbs Denali to raise money for TAPS Kerry McGinley For Seth Whitfield, eight days of brutal winds, near-zero visibility and frigid temperatures over potentially lethal terrain on North America’s highest peak wasn’t just about challenging himself physically; it was also a chance to raise awareness and funds for TAPS. Whitfield used his personal vacation as the basis of a campaign to raise $10,600 for TAPS, a nonprofit that supports the fa
Vision Board: Creating a Life You Envision Vision Board: Creating a Life You Envision Vision Board: Creating a Life You Envision \| TAPS Erin Jacobson Do you need help creating a roadmap for the life you envision for yourself? This New Year, instead of making a quick resolution or two, set aside time to imagine what your life would be like in the best possible scenario. What would it be like to choose new dreams or new purpose, even in our grief? Bring to your mind’s eye what that might look like. What are the things that surround yo
John Jarecki, Good Grief Camp mentor and TAPS supporter John Jarecki, Good Grief Camp mentor and TAPS supporter John Jarecki, Good Grief Camp mentor and TAPS supporter \| TAPS Lalaine Estella While reading his local paper on Memorial Day weekend in 2010, John Jarecki came across an article about TAPS Good Grief Camp. “There’s a camp for children who lost a loved one in the military?” he thought to himself. He was shocked to realize there was an organization for people just like him. He immediately drove over to the Arlington hotel where the TAPS
New Jersey Regional Seminar Brings Military Survivors Together New Jersey Regional Seminar brings military survivors together New Jersey Regional Seminar Brings Military Survivors Together \| TAPS Lalaine Estella Cherry Hill resident Melinda Kane came to TAPS not long after her son, Lance Cpl. Jeremy Kane, was killed in Afghanistan in 2010. TAPS resources were offered to her and her surviving two sons, and it wasn’t long before the family was participating in the National Military Survivor Seminar, retreats and other TAPS events. Melinda sought support
Saturday Morning Message: Dreams Part 2 Saturday Morning Message: Dreams Part 2 Saturday Morning Message: Dreams Part 2 \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, This Sunday is Veterans Day, so in addition to the delightful answers that were sent in response to our question about dreams, I thought I would add a Comcast Newsmakers interview with Erin Jacobson who is on the TAPS staff and talks about the service of our organization. It will be broadcast as part of an hour-long Veterans Day broadcast. This way you get to see it first! You can
Saturday Morning Message: Thankful for TAPS Saturday Morning Message: Thankful for TAPS Saturday Morning Message: Thankful for TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, Because it is Thanksgiving weekend, this Saturday Morning Message features a list of resources TAPS provides that I am thankful for as a survivor. Since a list of all the programs would make this message too long, I’ve only included some of the programs. Visit TAPS programs web page to learn more. The picture today is from the TAPS website showing survivors participating in t
An Unexpected Transformation An Unexpected Transformation An Unexpected Transformation TAPS Since Army Capt. Joe Quenga began volunteering with TAPS in May 2016, he has recorded nearly 130 hours during 11 events, ranging from mentoring youth at the National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp to service projects at the TAPS headquarters office. Whether he’s packaging TAPS Christmas ornaments or spending time with his two-time mentee, Joe’s commitment to both surviving military families and the TAPS mission is
App Review: My Good Grief Journal for Kids App Review: My Good Grief Journal for Kids App Review: My Good Grief Journal for Kids Cheryl Kreutter For both children and adults, writing and drawing are useful tools for unpacking grief. The “My Good Grief Journal for Kids” app for iPad, a digital grief journal created specifically for children, provides children both space and structure to record memories, thoughts and feelings about a loved one who has died. While an adult is required to provide guidance on the app, it is the colorful pi
Battlefield Promises Battlefield Promises Battlefield Promises Emily Munoz This week, I followed along on Facebook as a friend, his wife and their church lived out a 2004 battlefield promise. I am still reeling from how they cared, how they mobilized and what the lessons are for us all. An Army veteran who’s pretty impressive with his handcycle, his integrity and his relentless pursuit of positivity, my friend Ed decided that, when his Iraqi interpreter’s move to the U.S. finally started to become a reality, t
Book Review: “Surviving the Holidays Without You” Book Review: “Surviving the Holidays Without You” Book Review: “Surviving the Holidays Without You” \| TAPS Cheryl Kreutter The holidays may be particularly difficult for those grieving a loss of a loved one. Hospice chaplain Gary Roe’s “Surviving the Holidays Without You: Navigating Grief During Special Seasons” offers readers ways to cope by sharing insights he has gained during his own grief journey. In simple narrative form, Roe recounts the special days such as birthdays, Thanksgivings, C
Easy Fall Foods to Keep Your Spirits Up Easy Fall Foods to Keep Your Spirits Up Easy Fall Foods to Keep Your Spirits Up Marissa Donovan The changing of the seasons brings up different emotions for everyone. For some, excitement for the leaves changing and the entrance of fall flavors (somehow pumpkin has crept into seemingly every product in the store). For others, it may be more challenging, a reminder that time continues to move forward, or the start of a sometimes difficult holiday season. Whatever the case is with you, taking c
How I Learned from 9/11 That Love Never Dies How I Learned from 9/11 That Love Never Dies How I Learned from 9/11 That Love Never Dies Heidi Horsley Sixteen years ago, our resilience as a nation was tested when nearly 3,000 people were killed in the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks. Most of us remember where we were when we heard the disturbing news that the World Trade Center, and Pentagon had been attacked. On that Tuesday, Sept. 11, 2001, I was a student at the University of San Francisco, working on my doctoral dissertation, which looked
The Gift of Mentorship: Caring for Our Youngest Military Survivors The Gift of Mentorship: Caring for Our Youngest Military Survivors The Gift of Mentorship: Caring for Our Youngest Military Survivors \| TAPS TAPS We can all remember that special gift — the one we were excited to buy for another. We went to the store with a smile, imagining its recipient’s expression as the package was opened. In the first two years as a TAPS Military Mentor, Air Force Col. Peter Doty had that experience. He came into the TAPS fold after losing a close friend in the spring o
The Value of Giving Back The Value of Giving Back by Honoring Families of the Fallen The Value of Giving Back by Honoring Families of the Fallen \| TAPS TAPS Long before surviving military families walk through the doors at the Crystal Gateway Marriott, staff and volunteers start transforming the hotel into a welcoming space for the TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp. It takes more than 750 volunteers to set up and help staff at the annual event in Arlington, Virginia. From packing backpacks f
Friends of TAPS: DynCorp Friends of TAPS: DynCorp Friends of TAPS: DynCorp TAPS Since 2001, DynCorp International has lost 84 teammates while supporting our nation’s foreign policy objectives. The sacrifice of these contractors is not widely known nor heralded except by their families and friends. Our nation asked their loved ones to go to war serving beside our military. Their families deserve our respect and embrace. DynCorp staff wear red shirts on Friday to show support for the Armed Forces. In recognition of
Honoring Soldier's Legacy Drives Team TAPS Runner Honoring Soldier's Legacy Drives Team TAPS Runner Honoring Soldier's Legacy Drives Team TAPS Runner TAPS From the moment Cindy Grier heard about Team TAPS and the mission of TAPS, she knew she had to get involved. A couple of years ago, Cindy came across Team TAPS at the Disney Princess Half Marathon expo. “I just started crying,” Cindy said about learning about Team TAPS for the first time. "I was like ‘this is what I need to do." Cindy is no stranger to military life; her grandfathers were
Stronger Every Day Stronger Every Day Stronger Every Day Emily Munoz Find out how you can become stronger every day by emailing innerwarrior@taps.org. For many people, this call manifests itself in a need for purposeful movement. Whether it’s emotional or spiritual exploration, perspective changes or physical activity, movement is proof of life. It’s an indication that, while we may feel left behind in a world without our loved ones, we’re still called to lead full, rich lives that honor them and ourselves.
Why I Run Why I Run Team TAPS Runner John Rhoten - TAPS News John Rhoten In high school, I ran to be the best, but stopped running competitively due to injuries in 2000. Now I run for a totally different reason. I started running road races again in 2012. This time, I wasn’t on a quest for the golden fleece but needed an outlet to honor Soldiers with whom I served. From the high school classmate who became a Marine, and a Ranger buddy with whom I spent 62 awesome days, to the Mogadishu Ranger mento
You’re Not Alone: Connections Across the Seasons You’re Not Alone: Connections Across the Seasons You’re Not Alone: Connections Across the Seasons Zaneta Gileno Grief is not convenient or courteous. It has no problem making itself known during holidays or on the weekends. As we move forward into the season of holidays, closed businesses and inconsistent schedules, know that you can always count on TAPS to be standing by to wrap you in comfort and support. The final pieces are coming together for amazing programming in the new year. T
9/11 - Some Days Remember You 9/11 - Some Days Remember You 9/11 - Some Days Remember You Claire Henline Never forget. The term almost seems a cliché to any survivor of tragedy. No matter how many years it has been or how hard you try to forget, there are just some days that remember you; they find you. They beckon to you and trigger every part of your senses until you’re right back there again standing on a street corner, watching a building burn, and smelling life extinguished before you. The calendar lays its eyes on
Happy Birthday Marines! Happy Birthday Marines! Happy Birthday Marines! Shanette Booker As a little girl I dreamed of marrying a Marine like my dad, and going to the Marine Corps Ball dressed as a princess. I remember seeing the photos and videos of so many balls growing up and imagining what it would be like when I finally got to attend one with my very own Marine. I remember going to the ball a few times right after high school with my dad and a few friends, but there is nothing like going to the Marine Corps B
Holiday Survival Tips: Practical Advice to Help Anyone Coping with Grief Holiday Survival Tips: Practical Advice to Help Anyone Coping with Grief Holiday Survival Tips: Practical Advice to Help Anyone Coping with Grief TAPS Holiday cheer and merrymaking can be everywhere this time of year, but for those grieving the loss of a loved one, the holiday season can be filled with emotional twists and turns. The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) would like to offer the following tips to help those who are grieving the death of a loved one this holiday se
Letters from TAPS: Find Healing This Spring Letters from TAPS: Find Healing This Spring Letters from TAPS: Find Healing This Spring Ellen Andrews Dear TAPS Family, Traditionally the New Year brings thoughts of renewal. A time to look forward with renewed energy, goals, and hopes. We reflect on the things and people that impacted our lives. We move through the change of seasons, coming out of the winter and into the blossom of spring. The changing seasons can also be reflective of the grief journey and the fellow survivors we find t
Making Choices Making Choices Making Choices Linda Ambard Happiness is a choice. It isn't always easy to make that choice and certainly life is not always fair, but looking for the blessings and for the small things that spark contentment is easier than enduring a pity party. The choice involves thought and intentionality because people innately fixate on what is going wrong, what is missing, or what should or could be. When Phil was killed, early on I recognized that anger or the desire for revenge wouldn
The Healing Power of Mutual Support The Healing Power of Mutual Support The Healing Power of Mutual Support Lynn Patton My son, SGT Matthew Scott Patton served in the Army for five years with one deployment to Afghanistan. On May 13, 2013, he killed himself. He was only 23-years old. That day began the most horrific time in my life; a continuous cycle of anger, disbelief, and devastation. Eventually I felt better as I began to talk to and help Soldiers through difficult times; I was trying to save someone else’s Matthew. I didn
Strength Through Communication Strength Through Communication Strength Through Communication TAPS Keeping in Touch Members of a family don’t always live near each other. Miles may physically separate us, yet we carry the comforting knowledge that our loved ones are always close at heart. The same can be said of the TAPS family. Our homes are spread across the nation, and even across the globe. But when our grief weighs heavy, we know our TAPS family is there to provide an encouraging word, a lift of the spirit, and hope f
Letters from TAPS: From the Volunteer Coordinator Letters from TAPS: From the Volunteer Coordinator Letters from TAPS: From the Volunteer Coordinator Jerome Tennille Dear TAPS Family, Nearly twenty-eight years ago in 1985, the General Assembly of the United Nations designated December 5 of every year as International Volunteer Day. It is an annual celebration of all that is achieved by volunteers around the world. As we observe that special day and enter the season of winter holidays, with their emphasis on light and warmth and giving, I
Saturday Morning Message: Dealing With Emotions That Arise During Holidays, Birthdays, or Death Dates Saturday Morning Message: Dealing With Emotions That Arise During Holidays, Birthdays, or Death Dates Saturday Morning Message: Dealing With Emotions That Arise During Holidays, Birthdays, or Death Dates Carol Lane Good Morning, Finding strategies that help deal with emotions that come around special holidays, birth or death dates of our loved ones can be difficult. This week the Saturday message will answer the question in a slightly different style. Several articles from the TAPS magaz
TAPS Issues Tips for the Public Seeking to Express Sympathy or Support for the Families of Those Who Died in the Navy Yard TAPS Issues Tips for the Public Seeking to Express Sympathy or Support for the Families of Those Who Died in the Navy Yard TAPS Issues Tips for the Public Seeking to Express Sympathy or Support for the Families of Those Who Died in the Navy Yard TAPS The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS), issues the following statement: We are saddened by the loss of life and injuries in a shooting incident at the U.S. Navy Yard in Washington D.C. yesterday. TAPS stands ready to assist families
The Hawk The Hawk The Hawk Bob Bagosy Someone once asked where my notes were before I spoke about my son Tommy, I said all my notes are in my heart. On this past Father’s Day, Katie, Tommy’s widow who had recently moved to Georgia, brought the grandkids over to help make all our Father’s Day a little bit brighter. After all, it’s a day to celebrate Fathers. Tommy’s kids are great! His son Nathan and his daughter Avery light up my life! They give me a reason to go on. They are too young in some ways
Always the Atlantic Always the Atlantic Always the Atlantic Michele Hiester Marcum I have always loved the ocean. I love the mysterious life that teems below her surface and the sandy beaches she hugs. I crave the sunshine that never strays too far from her expanse. I am intrigued by the abrupt changes in her direction and the intensity with which she approaches the shoreline. Sometimes she drifts in with an unexpected tranquility, carrying with her all sorts of treasures to be discovered. And sometimes she
Facing a Life Without the One They Love, Coming Together Facing a Life Without the One They Love, Coming Together Facing a Life Without the One They Love, Coming Together Christine Park Inspiring. That’s the word I’d use to describe the Memorial Day weekend my colleagues and I spent at the TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp. Adults and children, facing a life without the one they love, come together to support each other as they learn to cope. There’s something special about this gathering. Bound by their connection t
Healing Grief, Finding Peace Healing Grief, Finding Peace Healing Grief, Finding Peace Carol Lane When survivors are new to grief, it is very hard to concentrate on a short paragraph, let alone a whole book. If that is true for you, try Healing Grief, Finding Peace by Dr. Louis E. LaGrand, published by Sourcebooks, Inc. (2011) Naperville, Illinois. Written in short easy-to-read sections, this book is uplifting and contains many concrete suggestions for those who are grieving. The first sections of the book offer an und
Spotlight on Service: Sergeant Kris Giuranna Spotlight on Service: Sergeant Kris Giuranna Spotlight on Service: Sergeant Kris Giuranna TAPS Whether it’s a regional Good Grief Camp at Fort Hood, an outdoor camp in North Carolina, or the national camp in DC, chances are you have seen the familiar face of one of our favorite Marines and mentors, Sergeant Kris Giuranna. Kris has been a part of the team since 2008 when he first volunteered for the Ohio Regional Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp. There he noticed that one of the TAPS banne
Bereavement Counseling Bereavement Counseling Bereavement Counseling TAPS Department of Veterans Affairs Vet Centers When America experienced the terrorist attack on September 11, 2001, TAPS was there in the Pentagon Family Assistance Center providing comfort and support for all those who lost loved ones on that fateful day. Hundreds of TAPS Peer Mentors volunteered their time over the course of six weeks, traveling to Washington, DC for a week, living in the Center's headquarters hotel, and offering comfort to th
Surviving the Death of a Sibling Surviving the Death of a Sibling Surviving the Death of a Sibling Beth Anderson Living Through Grief When an Adult Brother or Sister Dies “We brothers and sisters were so happy at home…Who could have then believed that life would ever become so torn asunder?” Dag Hammerskjold That is one of many quotes from Surviving the Death of a Sibling: Living Through Grief When an Adult Brother or Sister Dies by T. J. Wray. This book saved me in those first weeks after my little brother, Serge
Surviving the Holidays… Surviving the Holidays… Surviving the Holidays… Heidi Horsley Without My Brother I was shocked and stunned when I received the news that my brother Scott had died in a car accident. I thought my brother was going to be in my life forever. We grew up together, experienced a shared history, and knew things about each other that no one else will ever know. I always assumed we’d raise kids together, grow old together, and share many more holidays together. So how did I not only survive
Online Workshop Series: Dare to Lead Cohort 20 Online Workshop Series: Dare to Lead 2.1 Cohort 20 TAPS Military Survivor Online Workshop Series: Dare to Lead 2.1 Cohort 20 Visit the TAPS Institute for Hope and Healing® online workshops calendar for additional dates available to register for a Dare to LeadTM workshop series. Meets every Friday for 22 sessions from 12 p.m. to 1:30 p.m. Eastern. Join us for a powerful Book Club Series designed especially for survivors of who have experienced a military or veteran loss. who are one y
Online Workshop Series: Dare to Lead Cohort 21 Online Workshop Series: Dare to Lead 2.1 Cohort 21 TAPS Military Survivor Online Workshop Series: Dare to Lead 2.1 Cohort 19 Visit the TAPS Institute for Hope and Healing® online workshops calendar for additional dates available to register for a Dare to LeadTM workshop series. Meets every Wednesday for 22 sessions from 6 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. Eastern. Join us for a powerful Book Club Series designed especially for survivors of who have experienced a military or veteran loss. who are one
Online Workshop Series: Dare to Lead Cohort 22 Online Workshop Series: Dare to Lead 2.1 Cohort 22 TAPS Military Survivor Online Workshop Series: Dare to Lead 2.1 Cohort 20 Visit the TAPS Institute for Hope and Healing® online workshops calendar for additional dates available to register for a Dare to LeadTM workshop series. Meets every Friday for 22 sessions from 12 p.m. to 1:30 p.m. Eastern. Join us for a powerful Book Club Series designed especially for survivors of who have experienced a military or veteran loss. who are one y
Young Adults: Lake Placid Olympic Experience TAPS Young Adults Lake Placid Olympic Fall Experience TAPS Young Adults Lake Placid Olympic Fall Experience The TAPS Young Adults Experience offers one-of-a-kind opportunities across the country to TAPS Survivors ages 18-30. These experiences promote care, peer connection and personal well-being. In building a Community of peers, we offer survivors a safe space to be themselves, have fun, and focus on well-being and personal development. OVERVIEW The TAPS Young
If Our Sons Were to Meet If Our Sons Were to Meet If Our Sons Were to Meet \| TAPS Martha von Diezelski Maxey Lance Corporal Andrew Joseph Maxey, U.S. Marine Corps Corporal Craig Moir, U.S. Marine Corps If our sons were to meet, your boy and mine In that place where they have gone Would they spend time together and become good friends Like their moms left here have done? A friendship born out of unthinkable loss Is a gift we did not choose But we know that we have each other And with tha
Walking the Grief Journey Together on International Widows Day and Every Day Walking the Grief Journey Together on International Widows Day and Every Day Walking the Grief Journey Together on International Widows Day and Every Day Lynzy Savage Walking the Grief Journey Together on International Widows Day and Every Day Lynzy Savage, Surviving Spouse of Cpl William Savage, The Royal Regiment of Scotland My life changed when I lost my husband in 2013. Almost eight months pregnant when Sav was killed in Afghanistan, I had our son Connor four weeks after his funeral.
Grief, Joy, Hope, and Healing Grief, Joy, Hope, and Healing Grief, Joy, Hope, and Healing \| TAPS Judy Thomas Our oldest child, Nathan, was born in September, on a Sunday, which seemed fitting for someone whose name means “gift from God.” He was an easy-going baby and could sleep anywhere. He had a supportive nature and enjoyed fishing — even into adulthood. Before graduating from high school, Nathan joined the U.S. Army through the delayed-entry program. His contract was for Airborne Infantry with the 173rd A
Reaching New Heights with TAPS Reaching New Heights with TAPS Reaching New Heights with TAPS Christina Wilson TAPS College Experience Prepares Surviving Children for the Next Chapter Being a surviving TAPS child doesn’t just mean losing a parent; it means losing someone who was supposed to help guide you through life. When my father died when I was 6 years old, I thought I would miss him the most during big events, like graduation and birthdays. Instead, I’ve found that I notice my dad’s absence most in the smaller
Klinger's Korner: A Season for Presence Klinger's Korner: A Season for Presence Klinger's Korner: A Season for Presence \| TAPS Andy McNiel The holiday season brings families and friends together, creating opportunities to make and share special memories and create or carry on traditions. But, in the midst of intense grief, the holidays can feel like a burden rather than a blessed time with family and friends. When children are in the home, you may feel the need to maintain positive, festive energy so they can still enjoy this speci
Life Will Be Different, But It Can Still Be Good Life Will Be Different, But It Can Still Be Good Life Will Be Different, But It Can Still Be Good \| TAPS Heather Gray Blalock The first holiday season after my husband was killed in action was when I began to sense that God must have a sense of humor. A Costco-sized bag of candy each had bribed my children out of trick-or-treating. The thought of cold creeping as a single parent with masked little ones was more than I could handle. Feelings of guilt lingered over that until Thanksgiving. So,
The Weight of Traumatic Loss The Weight of Traumatic Loss The Weight of Traumatic Loss \| TAPS Charles Figley Editor's Note: The words on trauma that follow are written with the veteran — the battle buddy — in mind, but combat is not the only route to traumatic grief. As you consider the symptoms of direct and indirect trauma and the weight that is often distributed across many shoulders in the wake of a traumatic loss, I encourage you to reach out to the TAPS National Military Survivor Helpline at 800-959-TAPS (8277)