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On a Scale of 1 to 10, How Are You Doing? On a Scale of 1 to 10, How Are You Doing? On a Scale of 1 to 10, How Are You Doing? \| TAPS Stewart Farrell A family shares their unique way of checking in on each other. They know they should say something. They know they should ask. They want you to know they care, and yet, they can’t quite find the right words. And so they ask the same old, tired question, “how are you?” You want to answer. You want to tell them how you feel. You want to share with someone the pain you are experiencing
8 Ways to Cope After a Suicide Loss 8 Ways to Cope After a Suicide Loss 8 Ways to Cope After a Suicide Loss Carla Stumpf Patton Coping with suicide loss can feel devastating. In its aftermath, it can bring overwhelming, mixed emotions and questions about how and why this happened. More importantly, we wonder how we are going to survive with what feels like an insurmountable level of pain and loss. But, we can and do survive, and there are fellow survivors who offer us hope that our hearts can heal. A group of military survivors
A New Year Without My Loved One In It A New Year Without My Loved One In It A New Year Without My Loved One In It Betsy Beard Once upon a time we were a happy, complete family that thrived on holiday traditions. Before Brad died, we approached the winter holidays with delight, reveling in the extra time together and enjoying the fresh sparkling snow and thoughts of the coming new year—a clean slate with no mistakes in it! New Year’s Eve parties were planned. We joyously stayed up late and allowed the kids the same latitude so
Sibling Revelry Sibling Revelry Sibling Revelry Michele Hiester Marcum Co-conspirators. Confidants. Comrades. Alternately friend and foe. Two apples from the very same tree. Two peas tucked in a single pod. That was us, my brother and me… Here’s where I’d like to elaborate on our quiet, idyllic childhood, leisurely painting the words in feathery pastel strokes with a gentle hand. But I can’t. Life at the Hiester house was vibrant and hectic and boisterous and always, always full. Neighborhood kids flocked
Inside the TAPS Good Grief Camp Inside the TAPS Good Grief Camp Inside the TAPS Good Grief Camp Heather Campagna Many people wonder just what takes place within the borders of a TAPS Good Grief Camp…and adult survivors have often said it looks like more fun to be on the kid’s side of our national gathering! Undeniably, the Good Grief Camp involves events that can lighten young hearts, but all of our activities are also specially selected to offer a safe place for each child to “just be” wherever they are in their grief. Tha
A Change of Season A Change of Season A Change of Season Darcie Sims Learning to Keep our Loved Ones’ Memories Alive in Every Season It’s harvest time, clean up time, gathering time. It’s time to put away the beach balls and the lawn mower. It’s time to shake the sand from the shoes and store away the croquet set and find the storm windows. It’s time to “put up” the garden’s bounty and find someone who doesn’t have enough zucchini. It’s time to find the mittens and try on the sweaters and coats. It’s time to g
Death-Induced Midlife Identity Crisis Death-Induced Midlife Identity Crisis Death-Induced Midlife Identity Crisis Betsy Beard Who are you now? Life was simple when I was seven years old and people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. Of course I knew! The answer was easy: a princess or a movie star. From my egocentric and immature perspective, the choices were limitless because all I needed to do was magically choose a career path. Reality was no obstacle. There was no fear that my selection was impractical or impossib
Small World, Big TAPS Family Small World, Big TAPS Family Small World, Big TAPS Family \| TAPS Jessica Kavanagh It’s funny how life happens. One minute you’re getting a phone call that your husband “didn’t make it,” and eight years later, you’re a widow wife to one of the most amazing humans. The world most certainly crashed down upon me that dreadful day — I’ll never forget it, or the moments that followed, or the spouse that once was (I know my TAPS Family can relate). I felt so lost for what felt like such a long time
December 9, 2020 December 9, 2020 TAPS Statement for the Record \| TAPS News Advocacy Proprietary Footer December 9, 2020 - TAPS Statement for the Record Before the Subcommittee On Disability and Memorial Affairs Committee On Veterans' Affairs, United States House of Representatives, "The Toxic World of Presumptive Service Connection Determinations: Why Should Our Veterans Wait?" The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) is the leading national nonprofit organization providing comfort, care and r
Coping with Grief and Trauma and Loss: Home Base Reflections of Gratitude and Growth Coping with Grief and Trauma and Loss: Home Base Reflections of Gratitude and Growth Coping with Grief and Trauma and Loss: Home Base Reflections of Gratitude and Growth \| TAPS Katie Langer Carla Stumpf Patton Introduction by Dr. Carla Stumpf Patton, TAPS Senior Director of Postvention Programs At TAPS, we are privileged to witness the healing that so often comes with connections to our supportive resources, programming, and services. The postvention support offered by TAPS, especially, is
My Memory Scarf: Remembering all of the First Days My Memory Scarf: Remembering all of the First Days My Memory Scarf: Remembering all of the First Days \| TAPS Lydia Burgdorf At my son Carl’s visitation, my friend Robin handed me a book and said, “Just a little something I’ve had set aside for you.” I tucked it in my bag and walked over to greet a new arrival. After the internment service and before another appointment, I opened her gift the next day. Titled “Knit the Sky,” the book was designed to encourage creativity. Its first project sugg
The Love Languages of Grief The Love Languages of Grief The Love Languages of Grief \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt When it comes to mourning and how others can best help us, there’s no one right way. Every person and every loss is unique. The people we grieve the loss of — as well as the circumstances of the loss — are also one-of-a-kind. After a significant loss, what we think and feel inside, in what ways we’re able to express those thoughts and feelings and how we feel supported by others vary from person to person and loss to
7 Things I’ve Learned Since the Loss of My Child 7 Things I’ve Learned Since the Loss of My Child 7 Things I’ve Learned Since the Loss of My Child Angela Miller Child loss is a loss like no other. One often misunderstood by many. If you love a bereaved parent or know someone who does, remember that even his or her “good” days are harder than you could ever imagine. Compassion and love, not advice, are needed. If you’d like an inside look into why the loss of a child is a grief that lasts a lifetime, here is what I’ve learned in my seven yea
Dispelling the Misconceptions Dispelling the Misconceptions Dispelling the Misconceptions Alan Wolfelt About Suicide and Grief and Mourning Excerpted from The Wilderness of Suicide Grief: Finding Your Way Misconception: A misconception is a mistaken notion you might have about something—in other words, something you believe to be true but that is not true. Misconceptions about grief are common in our society because we tend not to openly mourn or talk about grief and mourning. You can see how we’d have misconceptions
Finding the Path Finding the Path Finding the Path Stacey Hrvatin Walking in the Footsteps of Others If you have not connected with others, register for a TAPS Regional Seminar or request a Peer Mentor. Now that I am a year and a half beyond the death of my fiancé, I am able to hold my footing a bit longer these days and look back. I look back at this journey so far and I can’t believe this is the life I’ve lived. On an early September morning I was greeted by the men in uniform we so dread seeing when o
Living to Honor the Dead Living to Honor the Dead Living to Honor the Dead Carol Lane For many of us it is hard to open our hearts when our loved one has given the ultimate sacrifice to our nation and we remain behind. Yet we still have all the love to give that we have shared through the years and it doesn’t stop with death. In the beginning, many of us can only try to get through each day and survive with the pain in our hearts that comes from such a great loss. Our hearts, out of necessity, close up as we try to
Stop, Look, Listen Stop, Look, Listen Stop, Look, Listen Darcie Sims When was the last time you did nothing? Do you ever just sit anymore? Do you ever just lie on your back in new mown grass and watch the clouds dance by? Do you ever chase after butterflies, trying to give them a message to carry? Or dangle your toes in a pond or watch kids dash through a sprinkler? Do you ever sit on a porch or patio and smell the grass, the flowers, the air? Do you even have a porch or patio and do you know what sitting
Military Children and Grief Military Children and Grief Military Children and Grief Betsy Beard Judith Mathewson Tina Saari and Heather Campagna After the flag is folded, and after the last echoing notes of Taps have sounded on the bugle, the overwhelming grief of losing a parent in military service comes to rest squarely on shoulders too small, too fragile, too young, and too inexperienced to bear the burden alone. Tucked away from the public spotlight, the grief following a military death continues for months and ye
Snowflakes Snowflakes Snowflakes Darcie Sims Surviving the Winter Season Have you ever stood outside with your head tilted back and your mouth open wide trying to catch a snowflake? Snowflakes fall everywhere: on your hair, your chin, your eyelashes, even your nose. And some even manage to land on the very tip of your tongue only to vanish before you can really get a taste. Each snowflake is a completely different design and pattern. No two are ever created exactly the same. It is a mystery that co
Pets and Grief: Can Our Animals Help Us Heal After Loss? Pets and Grief: Can Our Animals Help Us Heal After Loss? Pets and Grief: Can Our Animals Help Us Heal After Loss? \| TAPS Stephanie Frogge When the TAPS Helpline staff has a chance to connect every few days, we share information and updates, and we check in with each other — how are you, how is the week going, how is your family? And we know that family most definitely includes Niki’s 40-pound bulldog mutt who thinks she’s a lap dog, Maggie; my own Luna Cat, who is only sociable when I’m on Zo
Breaking the Silence as a Survivor of Murder-Suicide Loss Breaking the Silence as a Survivor of Murder-Suicide Loss Breaking the Silence as a Survivor of Murder-Suicide Loss \| TAPS Brittany Noble McCarthy “Couple Dead in Murder-Suicide,” read one headline following the deaths of my dad and stepmother in January 2018. Rooted in his determination to take his own life, Dad’s final act precluded him from a burial with military honors after serving the country for 20 years as an enlisted Army sergeant with multiple combat tours. The headlines precluded
October 22, 2019 October 22, 2019 TAPS Statement for the Record \| TAPS News Advocacy Proprietary Footer October 22, 2019 - TAPS Statement for the Record Before the Committee on Veterans’ Affairs, United States House of Representatives The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) is the national nonprofit organization providing compassionate care for the families of America’s fallen military heroes. TAPS provides peer-based emotional support, grief and trauma resources, grief seminars and retreats for
April 28, 2021 April 28, 2021 TAPS Statement for the Record \| TAPS News Advocacy Proprietary Footer April 28, 2021 - TAPS Statement for the Record Before the Committee on Veterans’ Affairs, United States Senate, Hearing on Pending Legislation Presented by Candace Wheeler, TAPS Director of Policy The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) is the national provider of comfort, care, and resources to all those grieving the death of a military loved one. TAPS was founded in 1994 as the 50l(c)(3) non-p
March 10, 2021 March 10, 2021 TAPS Statement for the Record \| TAPS News Advocacy Proprietary Footer March 10, 2021 - TAPS Statement for the Record Before the Committee on Veterans’ Affairs, United States Senate, "Military Toxic Exposures: The Human Consequences of War" The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) is the leading national nonprofit organization providing comfort, care and resources to all those grieving the death of a military loved one. TAPS provides comfort and hope through a nation
Webinar: Grieving Through the Holidays Webinar: Grieving Through the Holidays Grieving Through the Holidays Webinar \| TAPS Institute Eastern The holidays can be an especially difficult and demanding time of year when you are grieving. In addition to the raw pain of grief, holidays often add to the intense hurt with painful reminders of past holidays. That, coupled with expectations from others to "be like you always were" during the holiday season, can add a lot of stress and anxiety. During this time, you might want to be alone, bu
Fundraiser: Putting for Patriots Putting for Patriots Golf Fundraiser Putting for Patriots Golf Fundraiser \| TAPS Annual Golf Fund Raiser hosted by Pirate's Island, Jungle Golf and Pirate's Cove Putting for Patriots is an annual fund raising event conducted by the Pirate's Island, Jungle Golf and Pirate's Cove chains of adventure golf courses. We proudly support local, Veteran-related charities in our various markets, plus two national charities that efficiently serve our wounded, their families and Veterans suffering from
Fundraiser: The America's Heroes Charity Golf Tournament The America's Heroes Charity Golf Tournament The America's Heroes Charity Golf Tournament Fundraiser \| TAPS Since 2006, golfers have traveled from across the country to attend the annual America's Heroes Charity Golf Tournament, hosted by the Naval Postgraduate School Foundation. It's an event you don't want to miss! Players enjoy a fabulous evening of food and drinks at the Monterey Peninsula Country Club with the opportunity to bid on exclusive auction items and once in a lifetime experience
Webinar: Military Suicide Prevention and Protection Efforts—Advancements from "Face The Fight" Coalition Members Webinar: Military Suicide Prevention and Protection Efforts — Advancements from "Face The Fight" Coalition Members Military Suicide Prevention and Protection Efforts: Advancements from "Face The Fight" Coalition Members Webinar \| TAPS Institute Eastern This webinar will overview the efforts of the Face The Fight initiative and highlight several coalition members, all with common goal of reducing suicide within the military community. The information can be helpful for those hoping to learn abou
Webinar: Moving Mindsets - Rethinking Recreation for Emotional & Mental Health Webinar: Moving Mindsets - Rethinking Recreation for Emotional & Mental Health Moving Mindsets: Rethinking Recreation for Emotional & Mental Health Webinar \| TAPS Institute Eastern Sometimes movement starts feeling like it's about fitness and not about fun - or we haven’t quite figured out how to have fun out “doing things.” Why did Einstein like to bicycle? Why do some great artists need to walk? How do we change when we join bowling leagues and church softball leagues? What on earth is pickle
Fundraiser: V3Gate Foundation Golf Tournament 2023 V3Gate Charity Golf Tournament 2023 V3Gate Charity Golf Tournament \| TAPS Mountain V3Gate Foundation invites you to join us for our 2023 charity golf tournament. This year's event will benefit Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (T.A.P.S.). Since 1994, TAPS has provided comfort and hope 24/7 through a national peer support network and connection to grief resources, all at no cost to surviving families and loved ones. Reserve your foursome or sponsorship today! Location The Club At
Webinar: Coping with Loss when Death is Stigmatized Webinar: Coping with Loss when Death is Stigmatized Coping with Loss when Death is Stigmatized Webinar \| TAPS Institute Eastern Dr. Kenneth Doka pioneered the concept of “disenfranchised grief,” giving a name to the reality in which mourners feel they don’t have the right to express their loss openly or fully because of the cultural stigma about how the person died. For example, those mourning a death by suicide or drug overdose may often feel that others are judging the choices and behaviors o
Fundraiser: Putting for Patriots Putting for Patriots Golf Fundraiser Putting for Patriots Golf Fundraiser \| TAPS Annual Golf Fund Raiser hosted by Pirate's Island, Jungle Golf and Pirate's Cove Putting for Patriots is an annual fund raising event conducted by the Pirate's Island, Jungle Golf and Pirate's Cove chains of adventure golf courses. They proudly support three pre-screened charities that as a group efficiently serve our wounded, their families and the survivors of fallen military members. The event takes place ea
Fundraiser: V3Gate Foundation Golf Tournament V3Gate Foundation 2021 Charity Golf Tournament V3Gate Foundation 2021 Charity Golf Tournament \| TAPS Mountain V3Gate Foundation invites you to join us for our 2021 charity golf tournament. This year's event will benefit Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (T.A.P.S.). Since 1994, TAPS has provided comfort and hope 24/7 through a national peer support network and connection to grief resources, all at no cost to surviving families and loved ones. Reserve your foursome or sponsorship today!
Fundraiser: Weapons of Grass Destruction Weapons of Grass Destruction Golf Fundraiser Weapons of Grass Destruction Golf Fundraiser \| TAPS Inaugural Golf Fund Raiser Sign in and warm up: 9:00 a.m. Cart line up: 11:30 a.m. Shotgun start: 12:00 p.m. Horicon Hills Golf Club 3000 South Main Street Horicon, Wisconsin 53032 Three guys having had a lot of fun throughout their lives got together one day and decided that it was time to pay it forward, thus Weapons of Grass Destruction was born, (based on their golf game). This wil
Virtual WE Retreat: The Love Work The Love Work The Love Work Virtual Women's Empowerment Retreat \| TAPS Surviving women whose loss occurred more than 3 years ago are invited to "The Love Work" virtual Women's Empowerment (WE) retreat. We often refer to the psychological process of coping with significant loss as “grief work.” We encourage each other to be present with the pains of loss, name what is wounded and hurting, and take time to process and heal. Grief work can’t be skipped, can’t be rushed, and can’t
Virtual WE Retreat: The Love Work Fall The Love Work - Fall Series The Love Work Virtual Women's Empowerment Fall Retreat \| TAPS Surviving women whose loss occurred more than 3 years ago are invited to "The Love Work" virtual Women's Empowerment (WE) retreat. We often refer to the psychological process of coping with significant loss as “grief work.” We encourage each other to be present with the pains of loss, name what is wounded and hurting, and take time to process and heal. Grief work can’t be skipped, can’t be
Webinar: From Grief to Peace - Journaling for Life After Loss Webinar: From Grief to Peace - Journaling for Life After Loss From Grief to Peace: Journaling for Life After Loss Webinar \| TAPS Institute Eastern Journaling does more than simply record your day-to-day experience; it helps you organize your thoughts, process traumatic events, and find meaning through your lived experience. The many health benefits of journaling supported by science include reduction in symptoms associated with depression, anxiety, and trauma; improved memory; and increased imm
Webinar: Navigating Conversations Around Personal Loss Webinar: "You Don't Know How I Feel" - Navigating Conversations Around Personal Loss Navigating Conversations Around Personal Loss Webinar \| TAPS Institute Eastern People sometimes say surprising things to those who are grieving the loss of a loved one, often because they frankly just don’t know what to say. In reality, people stumble on words and gestures as they try to create a connection with a griever, possibly comparing a personal loss experience. While their intentions might mean well, ho
Virtual WE Retreat: The Love Work The Love Work Virtual Women's Empowerment Retreat The Love Work Virtual Women's Empowerment Retreat \| TAPS Surviving women whose loss occurred more than 3 years ago are invited to "The Love Work" virtual Women's Empowerment (WE) retreat. We often refer to the psychological process of coping with significant loss as “grief work.” We encourage each other to be present with the pains of loss, name what is wounded and hurting, and take time to process and heal. Grief work can’t be
Fundraiser: Karndean VIP Experience Karndean Design Flooring VIP Experience Karndean Design Flooring VIP Experience \| TAPS Golf Outing 10 a.m. Shotgun Start Lunch served at 11 a.m. Sienna Golf Club 10575 Siena Monte Avenue Las Vegas, Nevada 89135 Experience the best course in Las Vegas alongside top Karndean executives and relax in our hospitality tent. Enter our Hole in One challenge and you could be cruising the Strip in a new Audi A7! Cocktail Reception 7 p.m. to 10 p.m. Karndean Las Vegas Showroom 5530 South
Fundraiser: Putting for Patriots Putting for Patriots Golf Fundraiser Putting for Patriots Golf Fundraiser \| TAPS Annual Golf Fund Raiser hosted by Pirate's Island, Jungle Golf and Pirate's Cove Putting for Patriots is an annual fund raising event conducted by the Pirate's Island, Jungle Golf and Pirate's Cove chains of adventure golf courses. They proudly support three pre-screened charities that as a group efficiently serve our wounded, their families and the survivors of fallen military members. The event takes place ea
Fundraiser: Weapons of Grass Destruction Weapons of Grass Destruction Golf Fundraiser Weapons of Grass Destruction Golf Fundraiser \| TAPS Inaugural Golf Fund Raiser Sign in and warm up: 9:00 a.m. Cart line up: 11:30 a.m. Shotgun start: 12:00 p.m. Mayville Golf Course 325 South German Street Mayville, Wisconsin 53050 Three guys having had a lot of fun throughout their lives got together one day and decided that it was time to pay it forward, thus Weapons of Grass Destruction was born, (based on their golf game). This wil
Reception: Meet Bonnie Carroll Meet Bonnie Carroll Meet Bonnie Carroll Reception \| TAPS Colorado Mountain Please join us at a reception with Bonnie Carroll, TAPS President and Founder, held in conjunction with the TAPS Regional Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp Double Tree by Hilton Colorado Springs 1775 East Cheyenne Mountain Boulevard Colorado Springs, Colorado, 80906 Business Casual Attire RSVP by March 27: 571-385-2567 or alexandra.volp@taps.org The mission of the Tragedy Assistance Program for Su
Fundraiser: Land of the Free Land of the Free Golf Classic 2017 Land of the Free Golf Classic 2017 Industry Hills Golf Club at Pacific Palms The Land of the Free Foundation is pleased to be partnered with the Pacific Palms and Conference Center in the City of Industry, California and the Industry Hills Golf Club to play host to the annual “Land of the Free Veterans Day Golf Classic”. This event will be held on Friday, November 10, 2017. The Land of the Free Foundation was started to recognize the men and woman of
TAPS Togethers: Mercedes-Benz Stadium 5K/Walk Like MADD Mercedes-Benz Stadium 5K/Walk Like MADD Mercedes-Benz Stadium 5K/Walk Like MADD Eastern Standard Time Already Registered? Manage My Events Let's run this town, Atlanta! Or Walk Like MADD! Join your TAPS family, the Atlanta Falcons, Atlanta United FC, Atlanta Track Club and Mothers Against Drunk Driving for the 2017 Mercedes-Benz Stadium 5K/Walk Like MADD and be a part of something special. This event offers something for the whole family, including a 5K, one-mile race and 50-meter dash. T
Webinar: Grief Surges Partner Webinar: Grief Surges Webinar: Grief Surges Cohosted by the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors and the Hospice Foundation of America Grievers are often prepared to expect difficult days as holidays and anniversaries approach, only to be blindsided by less common grief triggers that cause surges of grief, even years after a loss. Join Journeys editor Ken Doka, Ph.D., MDiv, and Zaneta M. Gileno, LMSW, CT, of TAPS for this interactive webinar on October 18, as they address how t
Hindsight Is 20/20 Hindsight Is 20/20 Hindsight Is 20/20 \| TAPS Gregory Jacobs In a recent conversation with a surviving father, I expressed how clear our vision is in hindsight — it’s 20/20. However, our vision looking forward at the start of our grief journey can seem blurry and near-sighted at times. My son, David, died in an auto accident on December 23, 2020, while serving in the U.S. Army at Fort Carson, Colorado. Immediately after his death, I lived in regret. Did he know I loved him deeply? Was I too s
Leaving the Grief Box Open Leaving the Grief Box Open Leaving the Grief Box Open \| TAPS Chris Beck Over the past 18 months, I have struggled to get to my feet and find the path forward in my life since the loss of my son, Jarrod. I know I am on a healing path, but the steps have been small and the growth slow, but steady. Men by nature, and to some extent by nurture, hide emotions and push them down — many of us were taught that emotions are a sign of weakness. When given the opportunity to attend a TAPS Men’s Retrea
Surviving Son Carries Father’s Legacy Through VA Career and Lasting Bond with TAPS From Losses to Legacies: Surviving Son Carries Father’s Legacy Through VA Career and Lasting Bond with TAPS Surviving Son Carries Father’s Legacy Through VA Career and Lasting Bond with TAPS Kristi Stolzenberg Children could teach us a thing or two about life — the significance of a seemingly insignificant moment and the people and things that truly matter. Garrett Schmidt, the proud surviving son of U.S. Army National Guard Sergeant Michael Joseph Schmidt, would challenge that we could learn
TAPS Survivor Newsletter December 2024 TAPS Survivor Newsletter December 2024 TAPS Survivor Newsletter December 2024 TAPS Media Embracing Your Vulnerability During the Holidays Nostalgia is part of what makes the holiday season so special, but it can also make it a difficult time for the bereaved. As TAPS Advisory Board Member Dr. Alan Wolfelt shares in this article, though, embracing the grief-induced vulnerability we feel this time of year can help us face truths about our grief and open us to authentic connections. In t
Video: Living with Grief During the Holidays Video: Living with Grief During the Holidays Living with Grief During the Holidays Webinar \| TAPS Institute Pamela Gabbay The holidays can be an especially difficult and demanding time of year when you are grieving. In addition to the raw pain of grief, holidays often add to the intense hurt with painful reminders of past holidays. That, coupled with expectations from others to "be like you always were" during the holiday season, can add a lot of stress and anxiety. During this time, you migh
Video: Military Suicide Prevention and Protection Efforts—Advancements from "Face The Fight" Coalition Members Video: Military Suicide Prevention and Protection Efforts—Advancements from "Face The Fight" Coalition Members Military Suicide Prevention and Protection Efforts—Advancements from "Face The Fight" Coalition Members Webinar \| TAPS Institute Carla Stumpf Patton Katy Dondanville This webinar will overview the efforts of the Face The Fight initiative and highlight several coalition members, all with common goal of reducing suicide within the military community. The information can be helpful for t
Video: Moving Mindsets - Rethinking Recreation for Emotional & Mental Health Video: Moving Mindsets - Rethinking Recreation for Emotional & Mental Health Moving Mindsets - Rethinking Recreation for Emotional & Mental Health Webinar \| TAPS Institute Emily Munoz Sometimes movement starts feeling like it's about fitness and not about fun - or we haven’t quite figured out how to have fun out “doing things.” Why did Einstein like to bicycle? Why do some great artists need to walk? How do we change when we join bowling leagues and church softball leagues? What on earth is p
Video: TAPS Honor Guard Gala Highlights Video: TAPS Honor Guard Gala Highlights Video: 2023 TAPS Honor Guard Gala Highlights TAPS Media The TAPS Honor Guard Gala gives the opportunity to remember the love of our fallen heroes, celebrate their lives and share the stories of the journey military survivors experience with their TAPS family. Watch the highlights of the March 22, 2023 TAPS Honor Guard Gala, including clips from TAPS Board of Directors Deborah Mullen, TAPS President and Founder Bonnie Carroll, TAPS Military Mentor of t
Baseball Cards and Godwinks: Terri Jones' Story Baseball Cards and Godwinks: Terri Jones' Story Baseball Cards and Godwinks: Terri Jones' Story \| TAPS Kelly McHugh-Stewart Terri Jones doesn’t know where the baseball cards are coming from, but regardless, she keeps finding them. She spots them when she’s out mowing her lawn or walking in the corn fields around her Iowa farmhouse. The players featured on the cards she finds played mostly in the 1980’s and 90’s, the same years her son, U.S. Army SPC Jason Cooper, played ball. And they just k
One Year Later: Reflecting on the U.S. Withdrawal from Afghanistan One Year Later: Reflecting on the U.S. Withdrawal from Afghanistan One Year Later: Reflecting on the U.S. Withdrawal from Afghanistan \| TAPS Kelly McHugh-Stewart I was 36-weeks pregnant with my son when CNN reached out to me for an interview. Like many in August 2021, I had watched with a heavy heart as U.S. troops withdrew from Afghanistan and the Taliban took over Kabul. In 2010, my father, U.S. Army Colonel John McHugh, was killed on those same streets that I was watching on my TV screen.
Survivors Share about the Impact of the Women’s Empowerment Programming Survivors Share about the Impact of the Women’s Empowerment Programming Survivors Share about the Impact of the Women’s Empowerment Programming \| TAPS TAPS The TAPS Women’s Empowerment program uses both in-person and online events to bring surviving women together. When we gather in person, the effect is magical, and we cherish our time together. We also know, however, that distance doesn’t silence the heart of our sisterhood — and so we’re also just a few clicks away with online offerings th
Video: Coping with Loss when Death is Stigmatized Video: Coping with Loss when Death is Stigmatized Coping with Loss when Death is Stigmatized Webinar \| TAPS Institute Kenneth Doka Dr. Kenneth Doka pioneered the concept of “disenfranchised grief,” giving a name to the reality in which mourners feel they don’t have the right to express their loss openly or fully because of the cultural stigma about how the person died. For example, those mourning a death by suicide or drug overdose may often feel that others are judging the choices and behavi
Choosing Hope: Honoring the Legacies of Our Fallen Heroes Choosing Hope: Honoring the Legacies of Our Fallen Heroes Choosing Hope: Honoring the Legacies of Our Fallen Heroes \| TAPS Kelly McHugh-Stewart My father was killed in Kabul, Afghanistan on May 18, 2010. Watching the Taliban walk the streets that he died on 11 years ago has been gut-wrenching. As a Gold Star Family member, news following the announcement of the full United States withdrawal from Afghanistan has been overwhelming. With images of violence and devastation in Kabul flooding t
Video: Coping With Guilt When You're Grieving Video: Coping With Guilt When You're Grieving Video: Coping With Guilt When You're Grieving Webinar \| TAPS Institute David Feldman Guilt is one of the most common emotions to experience after loss, but it can be the result of good people being much too hard on themselves. Although sometimes there really is something worth feeling guilty about, guilt can also result from good people being much too hard on themselves. We can sometimes expect way too much of ourselves and beat ourselves up when
Video: From Grief to Peace - Journaling for Life After Loss Video: From Grief to Peace - Journaling for Life After Loss From Grief to Peace - Journaling for Life After Loss Webinar \| TAPS Institute Heather Stang Journaling does more than simply record your day-to-day experience; it helps you organize your thoughts, process traumatic events, and find meaning through your lived experience. The many health benefits of journaling supported by science include reduction in symptoms associated with depression, anxiety, and trauma; improved memory; and increa
Video: Navigating Conversations Around Personal Loss Video: Navigating Conversations Around Personal Loss Navigating Conversations Around Personal Loss Webinar \| TAPS Institute Rachel Kodanaz People sometimes say surprising things to those who are grieving the loss of a loved one, often because they frankly just don’t know what to say. In reality, people stumble on words and gestures as they try to create a connection with a griever, possibly comparing a personal loss experience. While their intentions might mean well, how can they know how you
Family Project: Mom Teaches Kids to File Taxes Family Project: Mom Teaches Kids to File Taxes Family Project: Mom Teaches Kids to File Taxes \| TAPS Rachael Hill Filing taxes can be a daunting task and is one that I dread every year. I not only have to file my own taxes, but also for my two boys since my husband’s annuity comes in their names, making it a triple task. In the past, there hasn’t been anything extraordinary with their taxes and they are generally easy returns to compile. However, recent tax reforms have made significant chang
Redefining Self-Care in the age of COVID-19 Redefining Self-Care in the age of COVID-19 Redefining Self-Care in the age of COVID-19 \| TAPS Grace Seamon-Lahiff As a therapist and researcher, I subscribe to a lot of newsletters, listservs and organizations that focus on trauma, grief, moral injury and all things mental health. Typically, all of these sources offer unique perspectives on the aforementioned subjects but these days they are singularly obsessed with self-care. Every day, someone somewhere is offering content on self-care.
Sisters Celebrate Life — as Their Brother Would Want Sisters Celebrate Life — as Their Brother Would Want Sisters Celebrate Life — as Their Brother Would Want \| TAPS Katie Martin Beth Martin When our big little brother, Wyatt, died in Afghanistan in 2014, it was like each of us lost a limb. Besides not being able to breathe, we couldn’t even sit at a family event without feeling cheated. Wyatt, the youngest, had the ability to make every situation fun. These last five years could have been filled with just sadness if we had not made a conscious
There’s Still Time to Put on Those Running Shoes for TAPS! There’s Still Time to Put on Those Running Shoes for TAPS! There’s Still Time to Put on Those Running Shoes for TAPS! \| TAPS TAPS The Team TAPS Virtual Fundraiser Campaign is going through December 31. The pandemic hasn’t stopped us from lacing up and running, jumping on our bikes, or hiking a trail as we honor our fallen military and raise funds to support the vital programs of TAPS. Get Involved You can still participate in our virtual campaign or make a resolution t
This Pandemic of Grief This Pandemic of Grief This Pandemic of Grief \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt The coronavirus is not only causing a viral pandemic—it is giving rise to a pandemic of grief. As I write this, in mid-March, we as a global community are suffering so many losses that I hardly know where to begin. Death and grief go hand-in-hand, of course. Thousands of people have already died of COVID-19 worldwide. Many more are dying now. These are terrible losses for their loved ones, who will need our support in the mon
Video: Mourning Your Loss When the Whole World is Grieving TAPS Talks Video: Mourning Your Loss When the Whole World is Grieving Video: Mourning Your Loss When the Whole World is Grieving \| TAPS Institute Patti Anewalt In these challenging times, some people are feeling guilty because they may feel more consumed with the impact of the current situation than they are with their own grief. Others may be struggling even more because of isolation, given that the supports and distractions they relied upon may no longer be available. In this recording of t
Video: You, Mr, Us: Supporting Couples after the Death of a Child Video: You, Mr, Us: Supporting Couples after the Death of a Child Video: You, Mr, Us: Supporting Couples after the Death of a Child \| TAPS Institute Tina Barrett Kim Parrow This webinar was recorded by the TAPS Institute for Hope and Healing® and presented by Dr. Tina Barrett, EdD, LCPC and Kim Parrow, LCPC of Tamarack Grief Resource Center. This video recording of the workshop explores myths and realities of relationship strife after the loss of a child, common interpersonal dynamics, and t
Saturday Morning Message: When We Feel Overwhelmed Saturday Morning Message: When We Feel Overwhelmed Saturday Morning Message: When We Feel Overwhelmed \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, Early in grief, everything seems to come upon us at once. Arrangements need to be made, paperwork completed, relatives and friends contacted, and your grief addressed. It is easy to find ourselves overwhelmed by the number of tasks. Then those who kindly want to host a ceremony to honor our loved ones send us invitations. We want to attend all of them, but som
5 Tips Surviving Military Families Need to Know as They Prepare for College 5 Tips Surviving Military Families Need to Know as They Prepare for College 5 Tips Surviving Military Families Need to Know as They Prepare for College \| TAPS Ashlynne Haycock-Lohmann In 2002, I lost my dad while he was training to deploy to Iraq. I was 10 years old. College was the last thing on my mind, and it was not high on my mother's priority list either. Years later, as I opened the mailbox and pulled out “the big envelope” from American University, I knew my dad would have been obnox
Have A Coping Plan For Grief During The Holidays Have A Coping Plan For Grief During The Holidays Have A Coping Plan For Grief During The Holidays \| TAPS Bonnie Carroll It’s official: The holidays are here. Families will gather to share in the sights, sounds, and tastes of Christmas, along with the hustle and bustle of decorations, gifts, and holiday parties. But for families and friends of America’s fallen military heroes, the holidays can be tougher. There’s an empty chair at the table. The holiday photos and postcards are missing an i
4 Gifts My Boyfriend Left Me After His Death 4 Gifts My Boyfriend Left Me After His Death 4 Gifts My Boyfriend Left Me After His Death \| TAPS Hannah Grace I was in my first holiday season after Forrest was killed in Afghanistan when I realized that even in death he left me gifts I would forever cherish and be thankful for. Gifts don’t always come in the form of a pretty box wrapped with shiny paper and a bow; they sometimes come in ways that are invisible to the eyes. Each year during this time, I think about the gifts Forrest left m
4 Things I Wish My Mom Knew 4 Things I Wish My Mom Knew 4 Things I Wish My Mom Knew Ashlynne Haycock-Lohmann I lost my mother Air Force Veteran Nichole Haycock to suicide when I was only 19 years old, which is a really complicated age. Legally, I was an adult and had to make adult decisions, but in my mind I was way too young to be making these decisions. After all, I still called my mom to ask what temperature was to wash my laundry. I didn’t know how to make adult decisions without her. Six years later, I have accom
5 Things Professionals Learned After 9/11 5 Things Professionals Learned After 9/11 5 Things Professionals Learned After 9/11 Heidi Horsley Since Sept. 11, 2001, we have come a long way, and I have watched as bereaved families have once again found hope. I was honored to spend 10 years with 9/11 firefighter families, taking the grief journey with them, when I worked with the FDNY/Columbia University Family Guidance Program. The research study looked at traumatic loss over time in families who had lost a firefighter in the World Trad
Book Review: The Four Agreements Book Review: The Four Agreements Book Review: The Four Agreements Ashley Rao Spiritual teacher Miguel Ruiz promotes healing and transformation through ancient wisdom of the Toltec culture, a people native to Central America. In his book, “The Four Agreements,” Ruiz outlines “A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom.” Ruiz contends that a wall of fog distorts our perception of who we are: “It is as if we live in the middle of a fog that doesn’t let us see any further than our own nose.” This
Companioning as a Reflection of Love Companioning as a Reflection of Love Companioning as a Reflection of Love Alan Wolfelt To experience and embrace the pain of loss is just as much a part of life as to experience the joy of love. As they should be, thoughts, feelings and behaviors that result from the death of a person who has been loved are impossible to ignore. The experience of grief is very powerful. As we encounter personal loss in our lives, we have the opportunity to make a willful choice of how we are going to use the
My Father’s Voice My Father’s Voice My Father’s Voice Lois La Pointe Kiely I never heard my father’s voice. There were photographs of him, and I know his handwriting from letters he wrote to my mother. But I always wondered how he sounded. Did his voice reflect the French Canadian dialect of his parents? Or did it have a masculine North Jersey sound to it? Was he soft spoken or a deep baritone? He died in World War II when I was just an infant, and I will never know. Louis La Pointe, my father, enlisted twic
Showing up for Yourself Showing up for Yourself Showing up for Yourself Emily Munoz Nichole Bukowski The grief journey requires us to do a lot of things we’d rather not: face uncertain futures, grieve deeply, learn to ache. And regardless of how little we want to face the tasks of mourning, at some point we have no choice. However, the energy required to face grief’s demands can draw on our willpower to make decisions, especially those that take advantage of life’s opportunities. Just as the demands of grief call
Anxiety? What Anxiety? Anxiety? What Anxiety? Anxiety? What Anxiety? Jenna Henderson Eight and a half years after Chris’ death in Afghanistan, had anyone told me I would be still struggling to find a sense of normalcy, I would have laughed at him or her. Had anyone told me I would be struggling with anxiety some days that almost swallows me whole in one gulp, I would not have believed it. Up until two years ago, I had never had an ounce of anxiety or experienced anxiety or panic attacks in my life, not even for Chr
Learning to Live Again Learning to Live Again Learning to Live Again Linda Ambard I am at a Tragedy Assistance Program (TAPS) retreat this weekend. A woman said something to me that hit really close to home. She is a year and a half out from her husband’s death. She told me she feels like she is going through the motions and keeps wondering if she will feel happiness in her life again. She pondered enjoying life and looking forward to the next events unfolding. Four and a half years later, I wonder the same th
Taking Back My Finish Line Taking Back My Finish Line Taking Back My Finish Line Linda Ambard Nobody tells you how much grief is going to hurt. Although I am a marathon runner, I had to fight for each and every breath I took after Phil died. I woke up from a few stolen minutes of sleep with my bones aching and my body heavy. I went to bed exhausted and weary, but as soon as I close my eyes images began to torment and rob me of even more sleep. I’d think of my loved one, and the swollen knot in my throat would reappea
Veterans Day Veterans Day Veterans Day Rachael Hill Since my husband’s death in 2010, Veterans Day has always been my hardest holiday. Surprisingly it is not his birthday or his angelversary, nor is it Father’s Day or our wedding anniversary. It is Veterans Day, and it is a day that always seems to bring me to tears at one point or another. Jeff and I both joined the Air Force right out of high school. We didn’t know each other at the time, but met shortly after while in the same squadron at Technical
How TAPS Brought Hope and Healing to Military Widow Kim Ruocco How TAPS Brought Hope and Healing to Military Widow Kim Ruocco Military Widow Survivor Kim Ruocco Finds TAPS - TAPS News Kim Ruocco Dear TAPS Family, As fall approaches, I am filled with a mix of emotions as I’m flooded with memories of the past and passion for my newfound purpose. October is the month when I married my best friend and soul mate, John Ruocco. He was the life of the party and loved any excuse to be with friends and family to celebrate. Halloween was his favorite holiday, givi
Year 2 is Round 2 Year 2 is Round 2 Year 2 is Round 2 Shanette Booker August 19, 2011 was a day that I will definitely always remember. It’s not a national holiday by any means, but it is a family holiday and a day that will forever be celebrated, honored, and remembered. I vowed to love, honor, cherish, and obey…in sickness and in health, till death do us part. August 19, 2011 technically was the day death did do us part, but I don’t think that physical death counts…the love between us still lives after A
Carrying On Carrying On Carrying On Dayna Wood If you’ve read any of my previous posts, you’ve probably picked up on the fact that I’m a huge fan of finding quotes that help me get through the day (or even just the next hour…or minute). It always helps to have a little motivation/inspiration during my weakest moments. Not surprisingly, one of my favorite quotes was shared with me through TAPS, and it seems to sum up everything I’m feeling. It says, “It’s not moving on. It’s carrying on.” With this in mi
Hunt the Good Stuff Hunt the Good Stuff Hunt the Good Stuff Dayna Wood Very rarely have I found myself alone over the last year and a half. Right after the accident, my friends and family rushed to my side and have been pillars of unwavering support every since. I’ve always had a roommate/friend to come home to that would help me laugh through the tears and remind me of all the good times I had with Ko. Yet, I’ve recently moved to Omaha, Nebraska for a job, and I don’t know anyone. I’m absolutely terrified th
I Remember You I Remember You I Remember You Elizabeth Rozier I worry sometimes that I will forget you. You have the other half of my childhood memories and I know if you were here you would be correcting my version of the story. I miss that. I know one day Justin will want to know about you and I worry that I won’t be able to remember. Sometimes it’s easy to rejoice that healing but it’s also easy to forget that our life has moved on and you are not in it. I remember beating up Mikey because he tried
Run and Remember: A Win-Win Outcome Run and Remember: A Win-Win Outcome Run and Remember: A Win-Win Outcome Betsy Beard When I first came to TAPS in 2004, I just assumed that somehow the military or the government was paying for the services and resources that were made available to me at the time: the national toll free helpline, the Peer Support Network, a free lifetime subscription to TAPS Magazine, the interactive TAPS website, the online chats, and the national seminar with all its speakers and materials and bus transporta
What Do I Miss the Most? What Do I Miss the Most? What Do I Miss the Most? Rachael Hill What do I miss the most? A few months ago a friend asked me what I missed the most about my husband. It was an interesting question and while I had a very quick answer for her, it wasn’t until recently that I really started to truly think about it. It’s a very thought provoking question and one that doesn’t really have one definitive answer. There are so many things that I miss… Jeff was the type of person that could command a
Spotlight on Service: Barb Christie Spotlight on Service: Barb Christie Spotlight on Service: Barb Christie TAPS Barb Christie knows the military. She began her 20 year career in the Air Force as an air traffic control officer. And while she spent the last four years of her career doing program and budget planning at the Pentagon, along the way she served as Executive Officer to a number of general officers, held the post of squadron section commander and filled the role of Base Director of Administration. Barb retire
The Stumps and Zips in Our Lives The Stumps and Zips in Our Lives The Stumps and Zips in Our Lives \| TAPS Gregory Jacobs As my zero-turn mower cut over the flush stump in the side yard, I was reminded of the pull-up bar that stood there not long ago. While maneuvering ever so slowly around the yard with my 6-year-old grandson on my lap, I pointed up to a tree to show him the remnants of what used to be a zip line across the creek. In 2018, before my son, David, joined the Army, he decided to assemble a pull-up bar in the y
The Unicorn Song “The Unicorn” Song “The Unicorn” Song \| TAPS Kristi Stolzenberg The Story Behind the TAPS Tradition In nearly any other room, anywhere else in the world, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, with four stars resting on each shoulder, would project effortless confidence — the product of decades of military service that demanded coolness under pressure, being able to read situations quickly and accurately, and always being ready to face challenges. That was not the case when Genera
Shawnee National Forest Day Shawnee National Forest Day Shawnee National Forest Day Central This event is open to all TAPS adult survivors who have experienced the loss of a military or veteran loved one. Your TAPS family is right here in your community and we welcome all survivors seeking connection to join us for a day of exploration and fellowship in the Shawnee National Forest! All populations, ages and accessibility levels are welcome to attend, but please remember that our entire day will be spent outside.. T
March 8 2023 March 8, 2023 TAPS Statement for the Record \| TAPS News Advocacy Proprietary Footer March 8, 2023 - TAPS Statement for the Record Before the Committees On Veterans' Affairs United States Senate and House of Representatives Joint House and Senate Veterans Service Organization Legislative Presentation Presented by Bonnie Carroll, TAPS President And Founder Topics in this Statement: Pass Comprehensive Remarriage Legislation, The Love Lives On Act Improve Dependency and Indemnity Compensatio
Putting the Closure on the Use of the Word Closure in Grief Putting the Closure on the Use of the Word "Closure" in Grief Putting the Closure on the Use of the Word "Closure" in Grief \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt "If you are seeking a time when you will be finished, you will never be done." ~ TIBETAN SAYING In these contemporary times, you may be led to believe that you need to achieve “closure” after the death of someone in your life. As a matter of fact, you may have already experienced someone approaching you and asking, “Have you had closure yet?” I
Widow Shares Marine’s Story Widow Shares Marine’s Story Widow Shares Marine’s Story Kim Ruocco Widow Shares Marine’s Story to Save Others From Suicide, Helps Families Left Behind Kim Ruocco regularly relives her darkest days – her husband’s suicide and the downward spiral that led to it – to save other military families from the same heartbreak. Speaking to standing-room-only audiences at the Natick Soldier Systems Center, Ruocco described the chain of events that led to Marine Corps Maj. John Ruocco’s death in Februa
Gold, Commonsense, and Mirth Gold, Commonsense, and Mirth Gold, Commonsense, and Mirth Michele Hiester Marcum Underwear. Yes, I said underwear. Very few holiday traditions grab your attention as quickly as the mere mention of men’s shiny gold sateen underwear. But before I can impart our newest family secret, I must bring you up to speed with how we arrived at this quirky tradition. One of my fondest childhood memories of Christmas mornings is the stocking tradition. Every year, it was a race among my sister, my
Using Medication for Grief When and How to Use Medication for Grief Using Medication for Grief - TAPS News Richard Dew Note: As with any medical questions, seek the advice of your physician. Prescription medications should only be taken under the advisement of a licensed medical professional. It was a typical meeting of The Compassionate Friends, a national organization for parents who have lost a child. We were discussing what helped us cope with the death of our child. Joanna, a quiet lady who seldom spoke, sudden
What Cody Taught Me What Cody Taught Me What Cody Taught Me Michael Lewis "To live in the hearts of those you leave behind is never to die." ~ Robert Orr Every day, when I get to work and flip the switch on my computer, I come face to face with the image of Private First Class Cody Grater, posing under the famous Hands of Victory crossed swords monument in Baghdad. He’s replete in full army gear, holding his rifle, finger poised on the trigger. Cody died on July 29, 2007 when his guard position was struck by a
Dealing with the Media in Wake of Tragedy Dealing with the Media in Wake of Tragedy Dealing with the Media in Wake of Tragedy \| TAPS Ami Neiberger-Miller For many surviving families who have lost a loved one in the military, our interactions with the media are interwoven with our experiences in the days immediately after our loved one dies. We encounter the reporters on our front porch, field phone calls from the Associated Press, and might even scan pictures to share. As a seasoned public relations professional, I am no stranger
March 13 2024 March 13, 2024 TAPS Statement for the Record \| TAPS News Advocacy Proprietary Footer March 13, 2024 - TAPS Statement for the Record Before the Committees On Veterans' Affairs United States Senate and House of Representatives Joint House and Senate Veterans Service Organization Legislative Presentation Presented by Rebecca Harrison Mullaney Topics in this Statement: Love Lives On Act of 2023 (H.R.3651, S.1266) Honor All Gold Star Families Caring For Survivors Act of 2023 (S.414, H.R.108
Letting Leisure in After Loss Letting Leisure in After Loss Letting Leisure in After Loss \| TAPS Rachel Hunsell leisure (n) / lei • sure / (lē´•r, le´•r) : free time, although not idle time : personal freedom from responsibilities of work, daily tasks, etc. : the freedom and the capacity to live and experience life within recreation (n) / rec • rea • tion / (rek´rēā´sh•n) : what we do during our leisure time — activities done for enjoyment play (n, v) / (plā) : act of engaging in activities without inhibit
More Than Trains: A Surviving Sibling’s Story More Than Trains: A Surviving Sibling’s Story More Than Trains: A Surviving Sibling’s Story \| TAPS Kat Stanley I first came to TAPS as a surviving sibling in 2010 after my brother and best friend, Cpl Richard Allgower, USMC, passed away after a fearless battle with brain cancer. I remembered anxiously awaiting the TAPS Magazine for articles from siblings. They seemed to put words to the feelings and thoughts swirling around that I couldn’t quite express. I read plenty of articles that shared
New Years: A Time for Self-Exploration New Years: A Time for Self-Exploration New Years: A Time for Self-Exploration \| TAPS TAPS The beginning of a new year is an obvious time for reevaluation, but it’s also an opportunity for compassionate self-awareness. We focus so often on what we need to do — thinking that if we do certain things, we’ll have certain outcomes, and then we’ll be a certain way or feel a certain sense of satisfaction. This year, though, instead of a New Year’s resolution — a commitment to “do”-ing something — w
Get Involved, Meet Your Peers in the TAPS Young Adults Program Get Involved, Meet Your Peers in the TAPS Young Adults Program Get Involved, Meet Your Peers in the TAPS Young Adults Program TAPS For military surviving children and siblings ages 18 to 30, the TAPS Young Adults Program focuses on 5 Pillars of Growth and Healing during your grief journey—personal development, career guidance, communications, financial stability, and service to others. Whether you are a TAPS Good Grief Camp graduate or new to our TAPS family, please know you have a place here
Creating Space and Rediscovering Ourselves in the New Year Creating Space and Rediscovering Ourselves in the New Year Creating Space and Rediscovering Ourselves in the New Year \| TAPS Erin Jacobson As every year ends and a new one dawns, we come to a reckoning of who we have been and what we have devoted our time to over the previous 12 months. The morning of January 1st, we brush off the glitter and dust of last night’s celebration and sit down to contemplate our resolutions. “This year I’ll be better,” we think to ourselves, “this year I will stop
Saturday Morning Message: How Do Dreams Help Our Grief Journey? Saturday Morning Message: How Do Dreams Help Our Grief Journey? Saturday Morning Message: How Do Dreams Help Our Grief Journey? \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, Dreams of our loved ones come to some of us and not to others. This is normal. If you have dreams, talking or writing about those dreams can be healing. This week, survivors shared their dreams and how those dreams helped their grieving process. They wrote about their continued understanding of the connection with their loved ones t
Following in Dad’s Footsteps Following in Dad’s Footsteps Following in Dad’s Footsteps Kelly McHugh-Stewart The last mile was the most painful, physically and mentally. I tried to keep from dwelling too much on my dad for the first 24 miles of the race in fear I’d break down too early and lose the energy I needed to finish my first marathon. But once my blistered body hit the 25-mile marker, I let the tears and the memories flow. My salty tears mixed with my sweat and were quickly washed away in the steady downpour of r
Let It R.A.I.N. Let It R.A.I.N. Let It R.A.I.N. Heather Stang As a child, I dreaded overcast days, especially during the summer. Even when it wasn’t raining, the threat of precipitation felt like a life sentence with no chance of parole. It was the grey skies I feared, even though they would often lead to bluer skies and sometimes a rainbow. Living in emotional pain is a lot like bad weather. There is no control, no predicting when the clouds will come or when the rain will start. But we can learn to rela
Losing Myself, After Losing John: The Fight to Find My Inner Warrior Losing Myself, After Losing John: The Fight to Find My Inner Warrior Losing Myself, After Losing John: The Fight to Find My Inner Warrior Sharon Forbes Grief is one of the most difficult things we can endure. And If we allow it, grief can become all-consuming and even self-destructive. When my fiancé John McNulty, a civilian contractor and K-9 handler, died by suicide, the ground beneath me disappeared. I was disoriented and collapsed internally – questioning: Was it my fault? Was it somethin
A Pain That Never Dies A Pain That Never Dies A Pain That Never Dies Melinda Russell Deployments are always hard. No matter how “easy” they are. You are away from your family, home, and life that you know. You are typically working 12 hours a day, six days a week, if you are lucky. And, even in the “safest” of locations, there is still the risk of the base being targeted; or even being injured by equipment put together by the lowest bid winner. But, the death of your battle buddy by suicide makes a deployment nearl
Phil, I Am So Mad At You Phil, I Am So Mad At You Phil, I Am So Mad At You Linda Ambard Phil and I had a good marriage–a great marriage–for 23 years, but neither of us was perfect. I would say and truly believe he was a better person than I am still. We had staying power and we were both committed to our marriage through thick and thin, but there were hard times. There were many times when I felt lonely, invisible, last priority, and less of a woman. It wasn’t intentional often, but we had more children than most and
In My Dreams In My Dreams In My Dreams Linda Ambard I am nearing the three year marker of my journey without Phil. I never thought I could make it through a day without knowing he was in my life, but I am finding my footing and making my way. While I have grown increasingly confident in my footing and in my purpose for my future, I still yearn for the man who chose me even when it cost him so much. There has never been a day that I haven’t wanted to share something with him or that I hadn’t had a quiet
Nutrition and Stress Nutrition and Stress Nutrition and Stress Ruth Crocker Finding Strength for Your Grieving Body Visit www.ruthwcrocker.com for more thoughts on nourishment, nutrition, writing, resilience, and mindfulness. Naomi appeared lean and fit, although a bit pale, when she arrived at her appointment in the Nutrition Clinic at Massachusetts General Hospital. At first glance, before taking her history, I thought she might be a long-distance runner, an ice skater, or a gymnast. I had counseled many e
White Stones of Honor White Stones of Honor White Stones of Honor Ken Ashley It couldn’t have happened…but it did. It shouldn’t have happened…but it did. There it was, that wooden box that was holding my precious son, my only son, draped in the colors of the country he fought and died for. It’s still hard to say…but, there it was. There I was, standing beside that box, my hand gently lying upon that revered cloth and again the tears flowed freely, and I would not stop them from flowing. They were coming from the
When the Bough Breaks When the Bough Breaks When the Bough Breaks Colleen Betlach Forever After the Death of a Son or Daughter Note: All reviews are the opinions of the reviewer and do not constitute an endorsement on the part of TAPS. I have always been an avid reader. I love books and literature for education and fantasy. Even as my bookshelves filled up, I obtained more. I loved the feel of being in a room full of books, and I was on my way to creating libraries in each room of our home. Whenever I had a pr
From Peer to Peer From Peer to Peer From Peer to Peer \| TAPS Heather Gray Blalock A TAPS Peer Mentor's Guidance for Supporting Others in Grief As a surviving spouse, I thought I understood grief. I felt I would be prepared to handle a grieving widow or family member who lost a loved one. So, it took me by surprise when I wasn’t. Five years after my husband was killed in Afghanistan, a pilot friend of ours was killed in a training exercise. I was at his wife’s house moments after the notification team left,
Fundraiser: Inaugural Golf Classic for TAPS Inaugural Golf Classic for TAPS Inaugural Golf Classic for TAPS Fundraiser \| TAPS Register today for the 2025 Inaugural Golf Classic for TAPS Four Person Scramble (18 holes) held at Trump National Golf Club in Colts Neck, New Jersey on Monday, June 9, 2025 from 7:30 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. All proceeds benefit the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS). Event Schedule 7:30 a.m. - Registration, Putt Off, Range 7:30 a.m. - Breakfast 9:00 a.m. - Shotgun Start 2:00 p.m. - Open Bar 3:00
TAPS Names Army Veteran Staff Sergeant Jay Hufford as 2025 Military Mentor of the Year Army Veteran Staff Sergeant Jay Hufford Named TAPS Military Mentor of the Year \| TAPS TAPS Names Army Veteran Staff Sergeant Jay Hufford as 2025 Military Mentor of the Year FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE – March 24, 2025 Arlington, Va. — Each year, the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) honors an extraordinary U.S. service member or veteran who goes beyond the call of duty, volunteering their time to support children and teens grieving a military-connected loss. This year, TAPS proudly an
April 10 2024 April 10, 2024 TAPS Statement for the Record \| TAPS News Advocacy Proprietary Footer April 10, 2024 - TAPS Statement for the Record Before the Committee On Veterans' Affairs United States House of Representatives Disability Assistance and Memorial Affairs Subcommittee Presented by Candace Wheeler, Director, TAPS Government and Legislative Affairs Topics in this Statement: Love Lives On Act of 2023 (H.R.3651) Caring For Survivors Act of 2023 (H.R.1083) Prioritizing Veterans' Survivors A
Climbing the Mountain of Grief Side by Side Climbing the Mountain of Grief Side by Side Climbing the Mountain of Grief Side by Side \| TAPS Rachel Hunsell These past few months, we’ve been called to focus on what’s really important. We’ve been physically distancing from our friends, loved ones and strangers to protect them and ourselves. We’ve strategized our outings for basic needs like groceries, healthcare, fresh air and sanity. Our 2020 Mount Kilimanjaro Expedition team returned home from the rooftop of Africa, the peak of the mount
You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part Six You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part Six You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part Six \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt Editor's Note This is the final article in a six-part series adapted from Dr. Alan Wolfelt's book, You're Not Crazy — You're Grieving. Parts one through five were published in the summer 2023, fall 2023, spring 2024, summer 2024 and fall 2024 issues of TAPS Magazine. In the early days after the death of someone you love dearly, it’s normal for this step to
Bocce, Good Food, and Bright Futures Bocce, Good Food, and Bright Futures Bocce, Good Food, and Bright Futures \| TAPS Kristi Stolzenberg What could bocce and the Culinary Institute of America possibly have in common with TAPS? As it turns out, a couple of things: the Michael C. Cerullo Memorial Veteran Scholarship, which is awarded to a deserving TAPS survivor on the road to culinary greatness, and the annual bocce tournament that funds it, hosted by Michael’s surviving son, Paul. Summer 2023 Michael’s son,
Finding Meaning After Loss Finding Meaning After Loss Finding Meaning After Loss \| TAPS Michelle Collins On the one-year anniversary of my husband Glen’s death by suicide, I spread his ashes off a distinctive rocky outcropping into a small cove in south Maui. I gazed at the water, remembering our time together in this exact spot. Even after 22 years in service, most of which was spent in the SEAL teams, he referred to that little rocky cove as the place he performed “the most heroic act” of his life. He loved
Grief and Sleep Grief and Sleep Grief and Sleep \| TAPS Heather Stang 7 Tips to Cope with Insomnia After Loss Coping with grief isn’t easy. In addition to the emotional toll, there are a myriad of physical side effects. Sleeplessness is perhaps one of the most frustrating symptoms – when you are sleepy and can’t sleep it just adds insult to injury. While insomnia is considered a common grief reaction, sleeplessness should not be ignored, but tended to mindfully. When we don’t get enough sleep it impacts
Yoga was my survival raft 'Yoga was my survival raft' Yoga was my survival raft \| TAPS Rayanne Hunter For many years now my family’s Memorial Day Weekends have looked quite different from the collective norm. Every year we look forward to gathering in Washington, D.C. for the TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar with a new family I never expected to be a part of—our Gold Star Family. These fellow surviving families are learning to thrive under a new normal without their military loved one. My husband, Staff Sgt. We
Grieving vs. Mourning Grieving vs. Mourning Grieving vs. Mourning \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt I often remind myself that there is no love without loss. And there is no integration of loss without the experience of mourning. Your capacity to love requires the necessity to mourn. To deny the significance of mourning would be to believe that there is something wrong about loving. Yet I truly believe our greatest gift from God is our capacity to give and receive love. Likewise, it is a great gift that we can openly mourn our
Saturday Morning Message: Responding to Comments Saturday Morning Message: Responding to Comments Saturday Morning Message: Responding to Comments \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, This week there were a variety of comments about how others celebrate the lives of their loved ones on special days. They also offered strategies about coping with family members and friends who may have a different way of grieving or have opinions that hurt you deeply. I found an article from the TAPS website titled Beyond the Burst of Support written by TAPS Sui
Moments…Just Moments Moments…Just Moments Moments…Just Moments Darcie Sims Have you ever had a moment? You know, a moment when time stood still and everything was as it should be—right and good and whole and wonderful. A moment when you were in the right place at the right time and life was good. Did you ever have a moment like that? Did you ever have a moment when the sun danced across the windowpane and made a rainbow through the glass? Or the breeze caught the fragrance of roses and sent it drifting past
Run and Remember: Running the MCM for TAPS Run and Remember: Running the MCM for TAPS Run and Remember: Running the MCM for TAPS David Easley In 2010, Telos Corporation had been a financial sponsor of TAPS for several years, but wanted to step up its involvement with this great organization. The company decided to do this by accepting the Corporate Challenge with TAPS Run and Remember Team. Telos employees would train for and run the Marine Corps Marathon (MCM) in memory of a fallen service member and each Telos runner would be connec
Honor and Remember Honor and Remember Honor and Remember George Lutz We've all heard the expression that freedom isn't free. That phrase became all too real to me on December 30, 2005. I got a knock on the door from two uniformed soldiers who spoke to me five simple words that changed my life forever: “We regret to inform you.” My oldest son Tony had been killed the day before by a sniper's bullet while on patrol in Fallujah, Iraq. The word “devastation” doesn’t begin to describe the flood of emotion th
The Critical Importance of Seeking Support The Critical Importance of Seeking Support The Critical Importance of Seeking Support Alan Wolfelt Learning from the Geese If there is ever a time in life when we need others to support and nurture us, it’s when someone we love dies. In many ways, grief work is the most difficult work we will ever do. And hard work is less burdensome when others lend a hand. Sharing the devastation that results from the death of someone precious won’t make the hurt go away, but it does make it more
Responding to Teen Grief Responding to Teen Grief Responding to Teen Grief Linda Goldman Teen years can be turbulent ones under the best of circumstances, and the addition of the death of a parent, friend, sibling, or peer can be unsettling even for the most well adjusted adolescent. Common grief symptoms, such as intense mood swings, can become very frightening and unpredictable. Kevin was enraged when he heard the doctor say calmly that his friend Tony was dead. "Why couldn’t you save him?" he screamed, as he pound
May 5, 2021 May 5, 2021 TAPS Statement for the Record \| TAPS News Advocacy Proprietary Footer May 5, 2021 - TAPS Statement for the Record Before the Committee on Veterans’ Affairs, United States House of Representatives, Full Committee Legislative Hearing The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) is the national provider of comfort, care, and resources to all those grieving the death of a military loved one. TAPS was founded in 1994 as the 50l(c)(3) non-profit organization to provide 24/7 care
January 30 2024 January 30, 2024 TAPS Statement for the Record \| TAPS News Advocacy Proprietary Footer January 30, 2024 - TAPS Statement for the Record Before the Committees On Veterans' Affairs United States House of Representatives Presented by Ashlynne Haycock-Lohmann, Deputy Director, TAPS Government and Legislative Affairs and Surviving Spouse Kaanan Mackey-Fugler Topics in this Statement: Dependency And Indemnity Compensation for High School Students Dependency And Indemnity Compensation for High
Workshops Workshops \| TAPS National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp body content SEMINAR WORKSHOPS and Activities We have a variety of sessions available throughout the weekend. Our workshop presenters are leading experts in the field of grief and loss, and you'll have the opportunity to gain tools and resources for your grief journey. You may choose which workshops and activities to attend at your leisure. Make sure to download the TAPS seminar mobile app. This mobile app puts adv
Workshops TAPS National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar Workshops body content SEMINAR WORKSHOPS and Activities We have a variety of sessions available throughout the weekend. Our workshop presenters are leading experts in the field of grief and loss, and you'll have the opportunity to gain tools and resources for your grief journey. You may choose which workshops and activities to attend at your leisure. Make sure to download the TAPS seminar mobile app. This mobile app puts advance details about the
Workshops TAPS National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar Workshops body content SEMINAR WORKSHOPS and Activities We have a variety of sessions available throughout the weekend. Our workshop presenters are leading experts in the field of grief and loss, and you'll have the opportunity to gain tools and resources for your grief journey. You may choose which workshops and activities to attend at your leisure. Make sure to download the TAPS seminar mobile app. This mobile app puts advance details about the
You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part Five You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part Five You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part Five \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt Editor's Note This is part five of a six-part series adapted from Dr. Alan Wolfelt's book, You're Not Crazy — You're Grieving. Parts one through four were published in the summer 2023, fall 2023, spring 2024, and summer 2024 issues of TAPS Magazine. In early grief, existential questions tend to naturally arise. Why did the person have to die? Why now? Why
Write On: How Sharing Your Story with TAPS Can Bring Healing to You and Fellow Survivors Write On: How Sharing Your Story with TAPS Can Bring Healing to You and Fellow Survivors Write On: How Sharing Your Story with TAPS Can Bring Healing to You and Fellow Survivors \| TAPS TAPS "[Storytelling] is, in and of itself, a coping skill we can use to heal our hearts." ~ Rachel Hunsell, surviving sister of U.S. Marine Corps Lance Corporal J. Kyle Price, and TAPS Program Manager, Outdoor Engagement Losing a loved one requires facing a full spectrum of emotions, some familiar, some o
TAPS Friendsgiving TAPS Friendsgiving TAPS Friendsgiving TAPS As we move further into Fall, we begin ushering in the holiday season and are reminded of the importance of family and community. This Fall, we are creating local, one day events across the country where survivors can connect and acknowledge the bittersweet nature of the holidays and the range of emotions that can come along with them. We call this TAPS Friendsgiving. Together, we will tell the stories of those who left empty seats at the table, and
TAPS Sports & Entertainment: A Letter of Thanks TAPS Sports & Entertainment: A Letter of Thanks TAPS Sports & Entertainment: A Letter of Thanks Sam Norman Dear teams4taps, I would like to thank you for organizing yesterday’s event. My wife, kids and I went to the New England Patriots training camp event yesterday not knowing what to expect. I know that the NFL was so gracious to allow us a “VIP” status, and that you are never sure exactly what is going to happen, so we went with no expectations other than to watch our favorite team pr
TAPS Songs of Love and Remembrance TAPS Songs of Love and Remembrance TAPS Songs of Love and Remembrance \| TAPS Andy Weiss Editor's Note: World Music Day is June 21. To commemorate this date, we share the story behind the creation of the TAPS playlist on Spotify. We invite you to share how music has played a role in your grief journey – in finding comfort, bringing back special memories of your loved one, or just allowing you to relax. Connect with us at editor@taps.org to share your story. What came first? What came la
Books to Get You Moving in 2019 Books to Get You Moving in 2019 Books to Get You Moving in 2019 \| TAPS Emily Munoz The Health and Wellness team has some book recommendations for you—four of the best books we know that can help you make better choices for your health and wellness journey this new year. The best part is that each of them is a pretty easy read, or you can also listen to them as audio books. Pick up these books and lay the foundation for some positive perspective as we settle into 2019. The RBG Workout:
Just Breathe Just Breathe Just Breathe \| TAPS Lalaine Estella Take a moment to catch your breath. Notice your tummy rise and fall as you breathe naturally. Now take a slow, deep breath in, and pause. Exhale very slowly, taking a few seconds longer than it did to inhale. Repeat several times. Congratulations, you’ve just begun a meditation practice that focuses on breathing. For those not used to meditation, keeping quiet and tuning out everything to focus on breathing can be a bit daunting. Sittin
Military Mentor hosts Meetup for Prospective Volunteers Military Mentor hosts Meetup for Prospective Volunteers Military Mentor hosts Meetup for Prospective Volunteers \| TAPS TAPS John Jarecki mentors military children in TAPS Good Grief Camps because he knows firsthand how important it is to be with others in grief. He also knows what it is like when you’re working through your grief alone and on your own. John was 5 years old when his father, a captain in the Air Force, died in an F4 crash in 1981. He and his family didn’t have the financial a
Nationals World Series Win is a Lesson in Resilience Nationals World Series Win is a Lesson in Resilience Nationals World Series Win is a Lesson in Resilience \| TAPS Soo Kim Since my essay was written and published in TAPS Magazine, we had the unforgettable, once-in-a-lifetime experience of getting to go to the World Series Game 3 in Washington, D.C. After the third inning, my family and two other military surviving families, along with a few TAPS Military Mentors, had the gift of standing in front of the stadium while a special tribute was mad
Networking and Professional Development event for Legacy Mentors Networking and Professional Development event for Legacy Mentors Networking and Professional Development event for Legacy Mentors \| TAPS TAPS Robert Pycior is a social worker who, when not working, is most comfortable in gym shorts, jeans and a T-shirt. “I’m not the most well-dressed guy,” said the 25-year-old New Jersey resident. “I carry a backpack, not a briefcase.” Last spring, he participated in the TAPS Legacy Mentor New York City Experience where he and a group of other young adult s
It’s a Colorful Life It’s a Colorful Life It’s a Colorful Life \| TAPS Lalaine Estella At 58 years old, Beatriz Alvarado had never been interested in painting or drawing. She never picked up a paintbrush or drawing pencils. She never felt she was creative. When her son, 27-year-old Oscar Eduardo Dulanto, an Army veteran, died by suicide in February 2017, Beatriz found herself in a dark and hopeless place. She said she had lost the most precious thing a mother could lose—a child. Beatriz struggled to find her
Selecting a Grief Counselor Selecting a Grief Counselor Selecting a Grief Counselor \| TAPS Stephanie Frogge Finding a good mental health professional in the midst of a trauma is somewhat akin to trying to find a good plumber in the middle of the night when water is pouring out of a hole in your wall. Your intentions may be clear but summoning the necessary energy, focus, and discernment to be a wise consumer of mental health services may be just too much—especially when you’ve got your finger in the dike and know it won
4 Tips for Handling the Holidays with Grieving Children 4 Tips for Handling the Holidays with Grieving Children 4 Tips for Handling the Holidays with Grieving Children \| TAPS Diana Wright Whether it is the first or the 10th year since your loved one’s death, facing the holidays can be stressful. We know the holidays will never be the same, but there are things you can do to make them a little more bearable for both you and your child. 1. Make a plan. Carefully consider invites and festive functions; check in with yourself to see if it is truly
4 Ways to Find the Light This Holiday Season 4 Ways to Find the Light This Holiday Season 4 Ways to Find the Light This Holiday Season \| TAPS Zaneta Gileno Many among us feel challenged during this season of gratitude and gathering. As I struggle to find gratitude while integrating the pain of loss, I'm reminded of a favorite quote by Dieter F. Uchtdorf. He states, "Being grateful in times of distress does not mean we are pleased with our circumstances. It does mean that through the eyes of faith we look beyond our present-day challenge
5 Ways TAPS Peer Mentors Can Support New Survivors 5 Ways TAPS Peer Mentors Can Support New Survivors 5 Ways TAPS Peer Mentors Can Support New Survivors Allicia Johnson No one can fully understand the grief journey in the way a fellow survivor can. Experienced survivors understand the power of peer support; they know the hopefulness of looking to another who has traveled this path and seeing that person surviving and thriving. Having someone who can relate without judgment, someone who can validate that the emotions you are experiencing are O
Children’s Grief Awareness Day Children’s Grief Awareness Day November 16 is Children’s Grief Awareness Day \| TAPS TAPS November 16 is Children’s Grief Awareness Day. As leaders in the field of children’s grief, TAPS works with partners like New York Life, The Moyer Foundation and the National Alliance for Grieving Children to provide cutting edge support and care to our youngest survivors who are grieving the loss of a loved one in military service. New York Life just released the findings of the New York Life Foundatio
Making Memories at Mealtimes Making Memories at Mealtimes Making Memories at Mealtimes TAPS TAPS was born around a kitchen table, when families grieving a military tragedy came together to support each other and find comfort in knowing they weren’t alone. It was over shared meals and cups of tea that they were able to find a way forward, and still today we find that food is a wonderful way to come together, nourishing our bodies while we feed our souls. We share memories around the table. Our loved ones’ sense of humo
Meet a Mentor: Dana O'Brien Meet a Mentor: Dana O'Brien Meet a Mentor: Dana O'Brien Jennifer Burns There is a distinct difference between listening and hearing. Hearing is simply processing sounds, but listening is intentional and takes great focus. Listening means feeling the emotions behind each word and interpreting the silence between each sentence. Listening is a skill upon which Dana O’Brien prides himself. Dana, known as OB by many, believes listening is the key to success as a Peer Mentor. “You have to li
Healing After Suicide Healing After Suicide Healing After Suicide Carla Stumpf Patton For those of us who have lost and mourn a loved one after a suicide, we all are tragically familiar with the, almost universal, feelings associated with suicide-related grief: the if onlys, the would haves, the could haves, the should haves, and of course, the endless, echoing, and unanswerable questions of “WHY…?” In the beginning, these thoughts and feelings can feel all consuming, and we wonder how and when we will ever sur
Ten Ten Ten Michele Hiester Marcum Good things come in tens. Bowling pins, crab legs, athletic conferences, the fingers and toes of a newborn. My birthday falls in the tenth month of the year, the New Year’s countdown in Times Square begins at ten, and the tenth anniversary of most anything is a reason to celebrate. Unless… A decade. Ten very long years that have seemingly whizzed by on dragging feet since my brother left this earth. Basic math tells me there are 60 minutes to an hour, 24 hou
The Ties that Bind Unseen The Ties that Bind Unseen The Ties that Bind Unseen Linda Ambard A mirror displays a reflection of something that is solid and real, but reflection is only manifested by what the eye can see. Those mirrored reflections are only part of the story for behind what the eye can see is something bigger, something truer, and something more permanent. Time has changed the planes of my face. No longer does a young girl peer back. Instead, my skin is ravaged by life and the lines reflect laughter
Life After the Death of My Son: What I'm Learning Life After the Death of My Son: What I'm Learning Life After the Death of My Son: What I'm Learning Randy Beard I am a man. So is Dennis Apple. I am a bereaved father. So is Dennis Apple. I am a Christian. So is Dennis Apple. Maybe that’s why his book resonated with me when I read it a few years after the death of my only son. Early in the book Dennis writes, “Time is important, but time alone will not heal a broken heart. In my journey, it has taken time and the company of others who acknowl
Online Financial Counseling Online Financial Counseling Online Financial Counseling Fran Hackett To Help Beneficiaries Plan Ahead Eligible beneficiaries in the Servicemembers’ Group Life Insurance (SGLI) Program can now take advantage of two new online financial services that can help with financial planning and also provide the ability to create a will. Eligible beneficiaries include those who have received a payment from SGLI, Veterans’ Group Life Insurance (VGLI), or Family SGLI (FSGLI). The Department of Veterans A
The Poems of Sascha Wagner The Poems of Sascha Wagner The Poems of Sascha Wagner Betsy Beard This holiday season, if you are looking for a gift to give to yourself and perhaps to others who grieve, I would like to recommend The Poems of Sascha Wagner. It’s a volume of poetry sold exclusively by The Compassionate Friends (TCF). TCF was started in England almost forty-five years ago and has grown to become an international self-help organization offering friendship, understanding, and hope to families that have experienc
What Shall We Tell Them? What Shall We Tell Them? What Shall We Tell Them? Deborah Robinson A letter to my family and friends Dear Ones, As I reflect on the eight months, six days, and fifteen hours since my son Brian’s death, it is confusing to figure out where I stand in this grief trip that I hate. “Hate” is not a nice or feel-good word, but it is how I see this loss and feel it in the pit in my stomach. It would seem that at least this empty stomach pit would reflect a thinner me, but I think that as I try
Birthdays and Angelversaries Birthdays and Angelversaries Birthdays and Angelversaries Rachael Hill Birthdays and anniversaries are days that can be both happy and difficult…especially when you have lost someone you love. For my two boys and I, our personal holidays are all in just three month’s time - May, June, and July. It all starts with my birthday on May 6th, then Mother’s Day, Memorial Day, my husband Jeff’s birthday, our wedding anniversary, my oldest son’s birthday, Father’s Day, my younger son’s birthday, and r
Letters from TAPS: From Special Events and Communications Letters from TAPS: From Special Events and Communications Letters from TAPS: From Special Events and Communications Kyle Harper Dear TAPS Family, I first met Mike in the winter of 2005-2006. I had moved to Girdwood, Alaska, about an hour south of Fort Richardson and worked at Alyeska Resort—the only ski resort in the state. My rules were that I didn’t date Army guys, but Mike’s sister assured me he was a great person. He was sitting at a table with others and I liked his southern accent. We
Letters From TAPS: From Survivor Seminar Programs Letters From TAPS: From Survivor Seminar Programs Letters From TAPS: From Survivor Seminar Programs Tina Saari Dear TAPS Family, Summertime! School’s out, but that doesn’t mean that grief disappears. For TAPS children, summertime can be even harder than school time. Now that the kiddos are at home all day, they may slowly start slipping into the summertime blues after their first few weeks of freedom, complete with “I’m bored and there’s nothing to do.” A mom or dad or brother or sister has
True Meaning of Memorial Day True Meaning of Memorial Day True Meaning of Memorial Day Alice Daniel It is amazing how the meaning of Memorial Day has changed for me through the years. I am somewhat ashamed to admit that before my sons enlisted in the Marine Corps and Army National Guard, the last Monday in May was simply a much anticipated day off work, a holiday, a week at the beach with my family, the beginning of a grand summer season. When my Austin and Randy were deployed to Iraq, Memorial Day took on a whole new
Living the Legacy: Small Steps in Speech Living the Legacy: Small Steps in Speech Living the Legacy ~ Small Steps in Speech Amanda Charney At some point in our grief journey many of us conclude that we will go on living—not merely existing or even just surviving, but truly living—for those who died. After all, we are the legacy that our loved ones left behind. ~ Betsy Beard, Editor TAPS Magazine It all started years back at a Philadelphia Eagles game. My brother-in-law invited me down to tailgate on New Year’s Eve. He had been tr
Fundraiser: Weapons of Grass Destruction Weapons of Grass Destruction Golf Fundraiser Weapons of Grass Destruction Golf Fundraiser \| TAPS 6th Annual Golf Fund Raiser Sign in and warm up: 7:00 a.m. Cart line up: 9:30 a.m. Shotgun start: 10:00 a.m. Horicon Hills Golf Club 3000 South Main Street Horicon, Wisconsin 53032 Three guys having had a lot of fun throughout their lives got together one day and decided that it was time to pay it forward, thus Weapons of Grass Destruction was born, (based on their golf game). This wil
Webinar: Honoring Love and Embracing Transformation Webinar: Honoring Love and Embracing Transformation Honoring Love and Embracing Transformation Webinar \| TAPS Institute Eastern There are many special holidays where we express our love for others. In the month of February on Valentine's Day we buy flowers, send cards, write letters, or express love to those special people in our lives. It is during these times when the love we feel for them is reflected in the pain we experience over their absence. What do we do with all the love we have for t
Webinar: The Promise of Psychedelic-Assisted Therapies in Alleviating Depression, Trauma, and Grief Webinar: The Promise of Psychedelic-Assisted Therapies in Alleviating Depression, Trauma, and Grief The Promise of Psychedelic-Assisted Therapies in Alleviating Depression, Trauma, and Grief Webinar \| TAPS Institute Eastern In recent years, there has been a resurgence of interest and effort in exploring the potential for psychedelic compounds to treat an array of mental health conditions faced by veterans and veteran family members. Psychedelic compounds, such as psilocybin, induce a powerful t
Fundraiser: Weapons of Grass Destruction Weapons of Grass Destruction Golf Fundraiser Weapons of Grass Destruction Golf Fundraiser \| TAPS 5th Annual Golf Fund Raiser Sign in and warm up: 7:00 a.m. Cart line up: 9:30 a.m. Shotgun start: 10:00 a.m. Horicon Hills Golf Club 3000 South Main Street Horicon, Wisconsin 53032 Three guys having had a lot of fun throughout their lives got together one day and decided that it was time to pay it forward, thus Weapons of Grass Destruction was born, (based on their golf game). This wil
Webinar: Passed and Present Webinar: Passed and Present - Keeping Memories of Loved Ones Alive Passed and Present - Keeping Memories of Loved Ones Alive Webinar \| TAPS Institute Eastern Presented by the TAPS Institute for Hope and Healing®, this webinar unveils new and innovative ways to help individuals remember and celebrate the family and friends they never want to forget. These opportunities are great to do on your own or perfect for the groups and individuals you serve. Featuring Allison GilbertAllison
Special Event: Na Koa Wounded Warrior Canoe Regatta Na Koa Wounded Warrior Canoe Regatta Na Koa Wounded Warrior Canoe Regatta Hawaii Standard Time Join TAPS as we honor America’s fallen heroes on the shores of Waikiki at the Hawaii Chapter AUSA Na Koa Wounded Warrior Canoe Regatta. TAPS will be sponsoring a team of paddlers for this event. All survivors, including extended Ohana (family) and battle buddies are welcome to join the team. Keiki (children) must be at least 7 years old to paddle, however, younger children will be able to enjoy
Fundraiser: Land of the Free Land of the Free Golf Classic 2016 Land of the Free Golf Classic 2016 Industry Hills Golf Club at Pacific Palms The Land of the Free Foundation is pleased to be partnered with the Pacific Palms and Conference Center in the City of Industry, California and the Industry Hills Golf Club to play host to the annual “Land of the Free Veterans Day Golf Classic”. This event will be held on Friday, November 11, 2016. The Land of the Free Foundation was started to recognize the men and woman of
Honoring an American Hero at America’s Ballpark Honoring an American Hero at America’s Ballpark Honoring an American Hero at America’s Ballpark \| TAPS Grace Polk On October 16, 2003, New York Yankees Infielder Aaron Boone hit a walk-off home run in game seven of the American League Championship Series (ALCS). History repeating for the perennially downtrodden Red Sox Nation — a city of loveable losers lost once again. I was 8 years old. My mom grew up in Dorchester, and as a Massachusetts native, she lived through the dark days — the curse.
Faces of TAPS: Surviving Spouse Sheri Lipscomb’s Story Faces of TAPS: Surviving Spouse Sheri Lipscomb’s Story Faces of TAPS: Surviving Spouse Sheri Lipscomb’s Story \| TAPS TAPS Sheri Lipscomb Faces of TAPS is a new series where, in their own words, survivors both celebrate the lives of their military loved ones and reflect on their personal grief journey. Sheri Lipscomb is the surviving spouse of United States Army Sergeant First Class Ricardo Lipscomb, who died on July 19, 2004, while stationed at Fort Gordon, Georgia. The couple has two sons,
Saturday Morning Message: The Comfort of Pets Saturday Morning Message: The Comfort of Pets The Comfort of Pets \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good morning, The opening picture this week is of Dandelion, my daughter’s cat. She loves animals, but wasn’t able to have a cat when she lived at home, because I am allergic. So the minute she moved into her own place, this is the cat she chose from the shelter. This week more survivors shared stories and pictures of their beloved pets. For those of us who have pets, they offer mu
Anniversary Blues Anniversary Blues Anniversary Blues \| TAPS Betsy Beard Handling the most dreaded day of the year The date is engraved on my heart. The awful day he died. Every year that date comes around again on the calendar, and for lack of anything better, we call it the anniversary of his death. It seems so wrong; anniversaries should be for celebrating a joyous occasion, not for acknowledging a death. But in the six and a half years since Brad’s death, we have never come up with an acceptable alternate
Kim Ruocco featured in Life After Suicide book Kim Ruocco featured in 'Life After Suicide' book Kim Ruocco featured in Life After Suicide book \| TAPS Jennifer Ashton The following is an excerpt from “Life After Suicide” by Jennifer Ashton, MD. It is reprinted by permission of William Morrow, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers. Jennifer Ashton, MD Kim Ruocco, MSW I met a woman named Kim Ruocco. Kim has a BA in Human Services and Psychology from the University of Massachusetts at Amherst and a master’s degree in Clinical
Book Review: When Your “Option A” Doesn’t Work Out Book Review: When Your “Option A” Doesn’t Work Out Book Review: When Your “Option A” Doesn’t Work Out \| TAPS Cheryl Kreutter In the bestselling book, “Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy,” co-authors Sheryl Sandberg, wife, mother and businesswoman, and Adam Grant, renowned psychologist at the Wharton School, explore the complexity of grief and consider lessons learned through sharing stories and research. In the text, Sandberg narrates her grief journey after her
Country Star's Music Brings Holiday Cheer Country Star's Music Brings Holiday Cheer Country Star's Music Brings Holiday Cheer \| TAPS TAPS There’s nothing better than a TAPS family dance session at the end of a beautiful weekend of hope and healing. TAPS welcomed country music star Shane Owens to our West Coast program event in early December. Shane and two of his band members flew in from Nashville and performed a private concert for over 400 survivors in San Diego for the TAPS Regional Seminar and Good Grief Camp. There were man
Land of the Free Because of the Brave Land of the Free Because of the Brave Land of the Free Because of the Brave \| TAPS TAPS TAPS was honored to participate in the Annual “Land of the Free Veterans Day Golf Classic” in City of Industry, California. The Land of the Free Foundation partnered with the Pacific Palms and Conference Center and the Industry Hills Golf Club to play host to 50 foursomes for a one-day salute to America’s military. The tournament started with a breathtaking tribute to the families of the fallen. Sgt F
Real Men Do Cry Real Men Do Cry Real Men Do Cry Jon Ganues Always the alpha male, I was used to denying myself any show of weakness. I had to show strength, control and the ability to fix anything with a roll of duct tape. But I learned duct tape can’t fix some things – like a broken heart or family relationships when there are differences in grief expression. I lost my son, Airman 1st Class Jon Wesley Ganues, Jr., on June 2, 2009, to suicide, five days before his squadron deployed to Iraq. He was a secur
You Deserve to Heal You Deserve to Heal You Deserve to Heal Alan Wolfelt “Wounds don’t heal the way you want them to; they heal the way they need to. It takes time for wounds to fade into scars. It takes time for the process of healing to take place. Give yourself that time. Give yourself that grace. Be gentle with your wounds. Be gentle with your heart. You deserve to heal.” – Dele Olanubi Yes, it takes time and, most important, the process of active mourning for healing to unfold. You must be patient and gi
Survivors Find Love and Acceptance at Seminars Survivors Find Love and Acceptance at Seminars Survivors Find Love and Acceptance at Seminars TAPS 2016 was a busy year as the Seminars team hosted survivors in 11 locations across the country, including Florida, Washington state, New England, Colorado and Louisiana. Connecting with our TAPS family at nine Regional Seminars, as well as at each of our two National Seminars, is an essential part of sharing the journey together. Through workshops, sharing groups, family dinners and more, our sur
teams4taps Helps young Boy Meet NASCAR Star teams4taps Helps young Boy Meet NASCAR Star teams4taps Helps young Boy Meet NASCAR Star TAPS For TAPS survivors, our lives changed in the blink of an eye. But not everything that happens in a blur is bad--especially not when the roar of the engines circles at Charlotte Motor Speedway. In October, executives at Charlotte Motor Speedwaycreated an extraordinary opportunity for a TAPS family at the Bank of America 500 race. This was a VIP experience, they rolled out the red carpet for teams4taps
How Writing Helped Me Heal How Writing Helped Me Heal How Writing Helped Me Heal Julie Burget Missing Max: Finding Hope After My Marine Son’s Death Had I any previous vision of that title, I would have been overcome with fear. And now, knowing that I authored such a book, I’m just overcome. On August 4, 2010, we received word that our son, Marine Corporal Max Donahue, had been hit by an Improvised Explosive Device (IED). He was serving as a working dog handler in Afghanistan. Max lost both legs and his right arm in
TAPS Togethers: Bismarck February 22 TAPS Togethers: North Dakota Heritage Center & State Museum, Bismarck TAPS Military Survivor Together in Nashville, Tennessee Central This event is open to all TAPS adult survivors who have experienced a military or veteran loss. Join your local TAPS family for a fun-filled afternoon at the North Dakota Heritage Center & State Museum. From a life-size T. rex skeleton cast to a Mars spacesuit to exhibits of rare pottery and beadwork, there's history for everyone at the North Dakota Heritage Ce
Video: The Power of Story – Navigating the Mental Maps We Create Video: The Power of Story – Navigating the Mental Maps We Create The Power of Story – Navigating the Mental Maps We Create Webinar \| TAPS Institute Jesse Tubb This workshop is the second part of our two-part webinar series on The Power of Story, building on the foundation of how narratives shape our lives. In the first session, we explored how the stories we tell ourselves influence our emotions, decisions, and interactions. Now, we take the next step: understanding how these stories form the
April 26 2023 April 26, 2023 TAPS Statement for the Record \| TAPS News Advocacy Proprietary Footer April 26, 2023 - TAPS Statement for the Record Before the Committees On Veterans' Affairs United States Senate Presented by Ashlynne Haycock-Lohmann, Deputy Director, Government and Legislative Affairs Topics in this Statement: Love Lives On Act of 2023 Caring for Survivors Act of 2023 (S.414)) Fry Scholarship Enhancement Act of 2023 (S.350) Guard VA Benefits Act (S.740) The GI Bill Foreign Institutio
Inner Warrior: Northern California Northern California Wellness Weekend TAPS Northern California Wellness Weekend for Military Survivors All adult survivors 18 and older are invited to join TAPS for our Northern California Wellness Weekend. The TAPS Inner Warrior Program will help you find and connect with a part of you that’s committed not just to surviving, but thriving. We’ll build resolve and courage and get stronger every day. Overview Sometimes we need to shake things up to get things moving — and that’s exactly wha
Don’t Mourn My Loss, Remember the Good Things Don’t Mourn My Loss, Remember the Good Things Don’t Mourn My Loss, Remember the Good Things \| TAPS Charles Corr Army Major Andrew Olmsted was killed in Iraq on January 3, 2008, at the age of 38. In anticipation of his possible death, Major Olmsted wrote out some of his thoughts. On January 13, 2008, the Saint Petersburg Times published a portion of what Major Olmsted wrote, including the following sentence: “I would prefer that people remember the good things about me rather than mourning my
Remembering J.R. Davis Remembering J.R. Davis Remembering J.R. Davis \| TAPS Theresa Davis Barry Lee Davis, Jr., or J.R. as he was affectionately known to his family and friends, was just 18 years old when he chose to join the Army and serve his country. His service took him to far-off places, like the Persian Gulf and Karlsruhe, Germany, before eventually settling near Fort Stewart, Georgia. J.R. was a hardworking, dedicated, and kind man — traits that earned him Bronze Stars, medals of achiev
Faces of TAPS: Surviving Sister Ideliz Mora-Cruz’s Story Faces of TAPS: Surviving Sister Ideliz Mora-Cruz’s Story Faces of TAPS: Surviving Sister Ideliz Mora-Cruz’s Story \| TAPS TAPS Ideliz Mora-Cruz Faces of TAPS is a digital content series where, in their own words, survivors both celebrate the lives of their military loved ones and reflect on their personal grief journey. Ideliz Mora-Cruz is the surviving sister of Army SGT Geraldo Andre Mora Cruz, who died by suicide on March 15, 2015. Ideliz currently works as an Associate with the TAPS Surviv
A Look Back on 9/11 and TAPS Support A Look Back on 9/11 and TAPS Support A Look Back on 9/11 and TAPS Support \| TAPS Robert Pycior How One Survivor Continues to Give To Others 20 Years Later September 11, 2001, set the stage for this millennium. Looking back twenty years later, the impact of that day cannot be understated: the launch of the Global War on Terror, political changes across the globe, a transition to more heightened security, the creation of the Department of Homeland Security, and even animosity toward those wh
Reconnecting With Our Military Family After Loss Reconnecting With Our Military Family After Loss Reconnecting With Our Military Family After Loss \| TAPS Elizabeth Culp Sergent I remember the day Brian came home from work and asked if we could talk. He had tossed around the idea of enlisting in the Army a few times in the 7 years we had already been married, and I had always shrugged it off as a daydream and nothing to be concerned with. But that evening in September 2006 was different. He was different. He had already looked into his Milit
A Playlist for the Pandemic A Playlist for the Pandemic A Playlist for the Pandemic \| TAPS Grace Seamon-Lahiff Like most people under COVID lockdown, I am rediscovering things about myself that were buried under the stress of work, school and general adulting. One such thing is my love of a stress-induced dance party. As a kid, my dad was deployed a lot and when life became too much, my mom would announce that we needed a dance party. Cut to the two of us jumping around the living room while the B52’s blared through t
Overcoming Trauma Overcoming Trauma Overcoming Trauma \| TAPS Jennifer Keeling Imagine you’re driving. The sun is shining. There’s a cool breeze and a clear blue sky. You’re determined that nothing is going to get in the way of having a good day. Then, just around a bend, you slow to a stop. A tree has fallen across the road and there is no way around. Your mind begins to race. How did this happen? What should you do? Your only choices seem to be to stay put, helpless in the face of the obstruction in your pa
Q&A with Atlanta Falcons Alex Mack Q&A with Atlanta Falcons Alex Mack Q&A with Atlanta Falcons Alex Mack \| TAPS Alex Meyers Sports can be a powerful force to bring people together. But at a time when we can’t be physically together, we are fortunate to still have the ability to be together as a community. We may be physically distanced, but we are still socially connected. As much as we, the fans, are missing our connection to teams and sports, many players are missing their connection to their fans too. TAPS recently hosted
Saturday Morning Message: Practicing Self Care Saturday Morning Message: Practicing Self Care Saturday Morning Message: Practicing Self Care \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, Often while grieving we care for others in our friends/family circle, but it is really important to take a bit of time each day to do something we enjoy. One thing that lifts my spirits is to sit and talk with a friend like these survivors are doing at a TAPS seminar. That is why I like attending TAPS events. There I meet other survivors and form friendships. When I a
Years After Valentine's Loss, the Blessings of Love Remain Years After Valentine's Loss, the Blessings of Love Remain Years After Valentine's Loss, the Blessings of Love Remain \| TAPS Ellen Andrews Chocolate, flowers, candy, cards and romantic dinners. Valentine’s Day conjures up a myriad of images and feelings. You can’t go anywhere in the months of January and early February without being bombarded by store shelves filled with pink and red and “Be Mine” hearts. And while this annual holiday brings warm thoughts and joy to most, it can be
A widow’s transformational trip A widow’s transformational trip A widow’s transformational trip \| TAPS Carole Hilton Many years ago, about seven years after my husband’s death, I was sitting in a meeting participating in an icebreaker activity. As we went around the room and shared something that was on our bucket list, I was horrified to realize that I had nothing. Nothing that I was looking forward to — no long term plans or dreams. Since my husband’s death in 2004 my entire focus had been on raising our three children (w
New Beginnings in the Winter Stillness New Beginnings in the Winter Stillness New Beginnings in the Winter Stillness \| TAPS Erin Jacobson When we journey into winter, a new rhythm emerges. Nature’s pace slows down; the earth becomes more still and turns inward. Animals go into hibernation; the fallen leaves return to the soil to nourish new growth; snow covers the hardened ground. Darkness comes early in the afternoons, closing out our days much sooner than the hazy evenings of summer. We, too, take our cues from nature, beginning
Peer Mentor Program Peer Mentor Program Peer Mentor Program \| TAPS Claire Hunter We have all heard them and even used them ourselves. I am talking about metaphors to describe grief and the grip it can have on us. The visual is often easier to say and understood by others when words are hard to find. Grief is like a wave. It comes in and out. Grief is like being out in the middle of the ocean in a boat with no paddles. You can’t control the movement. Grief is like a phantom. Something that is scary and unknown.
5 Ways to Create Memories with Your Loved One Who Died 5 Ways to Create Memories with Your Loved One Who Died 5 Ways to Create Memories with Your Loved One Who Died Allicia Johnson One of the most painful parts of grief is facing a string of tomorrows without your loved one. Whether you lost the love of your life last month or were in utero when your dad was killed, your older brother lost his battle with depression or post-traumatic stress three years ago or your mother slipped quietly away while in hospice care, the past is all you have with th
A New Role to Play A New Role to Play Honoring the Fallen By Helping the Next Generation \| TAPS William Wagasy A Navy SEAL from 2002 to 2012, I had three deployments to Iraq under my belt and had just finished a year-long deployment to Afghanistan when I returned to the United States. I served another six months in the military and transitioned to civilian life, and I was totally lost as to what to do next with my life. I wanted to unplug for a while. I didn’t want to answer to anyone. So, I moved from my du
Climbing Mountains Climbing Mountains Climbing Mountains Peggy Carvill-Ligouri We all have mountains to climb, mine just happened to be in Tanzania, Africa. Climbing Mount Kilimanjaro challenged me and changed me in ways I never thought possible. I started with the sole purpose of honoring the memories of my two brothers, Mike and Frank. Mike died of colon cancer on September 23, 2003. Frank was killed in action in Sadr City, Iraq, on June 4, 2004. They loved travel, adventure and any and all outdoor activit
Making the Trip Making the Trip Making the Trip Kelly Griffith Inching along at a pace so slow that I was sure slugs would cross the American Legion Memorial Bridge before me, my mood went to a dangerous place – one where I could hear sirens in my head warning that an emotional meltdown was imminent. I was sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic at the Virginia/Maryland border. The windows were rolled down instead of using air conditioning, letting the 100+ degree summer air spill into the car and making my skin
Strong Footing Again Strong Footing Again Strong Footing Again Laurie Copmann Life's encounters, both positive or painful, can affect our outlook, challenge our strength and shape how we respond to subsequent events. We pray to find hope in times of sadness. We may have to dig deep within ourselves to find light in so much darkness. Determination kicks in, and helps us keep trudging forward, so we can carry our emotional burdens. When we are overcome with sadness or grief, it can be difficult to continue the d
When Does the Hurt Go Away? When Does the Hurt Go Away? When Does the Hurt Go Away? Artis Henderson On a recent morning, I was working in the front yard of my house in Florida when a neighbor walked over. Before then, we'd never said more than hello, but on that morning he wanted to talk. So we talked about my mango trees, about the drought, about the avocado he'd planted that never took hold. When we'd run through all of it and I couldn't think of where to take the conversation next, my neighbor surprised me by saying,
Facing My Fears on Heartbreak Hill Facing My Fears on Heartbreak Hill Facing My Fears on Heartbreak Hill Linda Ambard The Boston Marathon is going to be my 100th marathon on April 18th. It was never supposed to be my 100th marathon because 100 marathons is usually a time where people come and celebrate the milestone. My 100thmarathon was supposed to be about finishing the Bucket List I had when Phil was killed and starting a new Bucket List for the next chapter in my life. I figured five years would be time enough to be rea
Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night Linda Ambard I liked the person I became in the 23 years I was married to Phil. I learned to trust myself and to dream big. Life was filled with possibility, fun, and the comfort that came from knowing that even if I fell or failed, someone, my someone, believed in me and would love me anyway. It was strength forged of time tested hurdles, life events, and the moments. Like most people, I thought there would be mor
Saturday Morning Message: What Happens at the TAPS National Seminar Saturday Morning Message: What Happens at the TAPS National Seminar Saturday Morning Message: What Happens at the TAPS National Seminar Carol Lane Good Morning, This week, our discussion focused on the TAPS National Seminar. Our question asked those who have attended the event to share their experience with survivors who have not attended. TAPS National starts before anyone arrives when a group of volunteers lovingly put together materials that attendees will need for the weekend. To rea
Facing the Twelfth Anniversary of 9/11: TAPS Shares Tips for Families of the Fallen Facing the Twelfth Anniversary of 9/11: TAPS Shares Tips for Families of the Fallen Facing the Twelfth Anniversary of 9/11: TAPS Shares Tips for Families of the Fallen TAPS The twelfth anniversary of the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on the United States causes us all to remember that tragic day and may stir emotions for the thousands of people in the United States who are grieving the deaths of a loved one who died during the attacks now more than a decade ago. The anniversary also
New Traditions New Traditions New Traditions Elizabeth Rozier I haven’t been as faithful to my blog posts as I committed to being. Guess that’s my New Year’s Resolution. So today that’s my focus…or maybe it’s just procrastinating, like taking down the Christmas decorations that are STILL up! Either way, my thoughts over Christmas have been itching to get out. I saw many of my surviving sibling buddies’ posts over Facebook during this season and had a few mixed emotions. I remember the first Christmas that w
Spotlight on Service: Marissa Tarulli Spotlight on Service: Marissa Tarulli Spotlight on Service: Marissa Tarulli TAPS To say that Marissa is busy is definitely an understatement. She’s a full time junior at George Washington University (GWU) and is involved with their Veterans Student Initiative. She’s also a Squadron Commander in the Air Force Reserve Officer Training Corps (AFROTC), a member of the Arnold Air Society, and a part time employee in today’s workforce. So how in the world does she get around to volunteering, and w
Introducing Elizabeth Rozier Introducing Elizabeth Rozier Introducing Elizabeth Rozier Elizabeth Rozier Writing has always been my passion. It stirs my emotions and allows me to express myself more adequately than any other way. After my brother died it was easier to talk to a computer screen than a live person…it doesn’t judge, condemn, offer false sympathy or worse, a blank stare. It has allowed me to brag about my brother to willing listeners. So, here I am blogging again about the person I like to talk about most…m
Wait...What was the cause of death? Wait...What was the cause of death? Wait...What was the cause of death? Shanette Booker In my first entry I mentioned that I labeled the cause of death as Medicinally Induced. I want to take this time to explain what exactly that means to me and how it differs from the suicide label that our loved ones are so quickly given as the immediate cause of death. My husband was more than just SSG Andre Booker, he was Dre, the love of my life. We, like so many others had our ups and our downs
Living the Legacy: Picture the Fallen Living the Legacy: Picture the Fallen Living the Legacy ~ Picture the Fallen Jessica Dumont-Oatman It has recently occurred to me that we—all of us American citizens—are the legacy of our American soldiers. We owe them our lives—lives that must be lived to their fullest potential. And this is the greatest tribute we could possibly give. ~ Annette Bridges, freelance writer from Texas. A picture is worth a thousand words. That’s all I need to say when someone views the photo of my brother’
The Emotional Journey through Grief The Emotional Journey through Grief The Emotional Journey through Grief Judy Tatelbaum When facing separation, loss, or death, we are invariably thrown into a turmoil of mixed and intense emotions. Some of these feelings may seem foreign or unexpected. Some are hard to bear. We may feel several different, sometimes conflicting, emotions all at once. We may expect to feel only sadness, but rarely is grief confined to a single emotion. Besides experiencing a mix of feelings like sadness, an
A Different Path A Different Path A Different Path Randy Beard Why is it that human beings, when faced with the unknowable, develop expectations of how it is going to be? I really had no idea what my journey of grief was going to be like, but that didn’t stop me from developing unfounded expectations. Of course not! The problem with those expectations is that they added extra stress to my already burdened soul. Not only did I experience the grief, but I also experienced the failure of not meeting my ri
From Attitude to Gratitude From Attitude to Gratitude From Attitude to Gratitude Betsy Beard Cultivating Thankfulness Weak sunlight filtering through the bare branches, a cold mist rising from the river, and frost on the ground. It’s November, again. We’re supposed to be thankful... I am transported back in time to the first year following our son’s death in Iraq. The season pressed in on me and I flinched away from it in anger and hurt. The holidays loomed large and bleak without Brad, and as the waves of despair
Recipes to Remember Recipes to Remember Recipes to Remember \| TAPS Liz Cimini My husband, Joe, and I married in 1970. I could only make waffles and chocolate chip cookies, but he was an excellent cook who (luckily) taught me some of his favorite recipes. My mother felt that marrying Joe was worth it for his excellent turkey gravy alone. I was a big fan of his chocolate frosting — it was like liquid fudge. We ate out often that first year, but gradually — between cookbooks and Joe’s guidance, I became pretty good
Fundraiser: Weapons of Grass Destruction Weapons of Grass Destruction Golf Fundraiser Weapons of Grass Destruction Golf Fundraiser \| TAPS 7th Annual Golf Fund Raiser Sign in and warm up: 7:00 a.m. Putting Challenge (FREE) 7:00 a.m. to 9:00 a.m. Cart line up: 9:30 a.m. Shotgun start: 10:00 a.m. Dinner and Buffet: 4:00 p.m. Horicon Hills Golf Club 3000 South Main Street Horicon, Wisconsin 53032 Three guys having had a lot of fun throughout their lives got together one day and decided that it was time to pay it forward, thus
Fundraiser: Holes for Heavens Heroes (H4HH) Golf Outing — American Dunes Holes for Heavens Heroes (H4HH) Golf Outing — American Dunes Holes for Heavens Heroes (H4HH) Golf Outing — American Dunes Fundraiser \| TAPS Eastern Register today for the Four Man Scramble Tournament held at American Dunes Golf Club in Grand Haven, Michigan on Monday, September 22, 2025 from 10:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. All proceeds benefit Gold Star Families and First Responders. About Holes for Heavens Heroes (H4HH) Holes for Heavens Heroes was founded in 2019 to honor our Veterans, First Res
Fundraiser: Holes for Heavens Heroes (H4HH) Golf Outing — Eagle Eye Holes for Heavens Heroes (H4HH) Golf Outing — Eagle Eye Holes for Heavens Heroes (H4HH) Golf Outing — Eagle Eye Fundraiser \| TAPS Eastern Register today for the Four Man Scramble Tournament held at Eagle Eye Golf Club in Bath Charter Township, Michigan on Friday, June 27, 2025 from 10:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. All proceeds benefit Gold Star Families and First Responders. About Holes for Heavens Heroes (H4HH) Holes for Heavens Heroes was founded in 2019 to honor our Veterans, First Responders, a
A Mother’s Love A Mother’s Love A Mother’s Love \| TAPS Kristi Stolzenberg Maria Gonzales Pamela Wanga In kindergarten, out of all the books and flashy trinkets at the school book fair, I used my money to purchase Love You Forever by Robert Munsch. If I had to guess, I was likely drawn to the toddler sitting in the middle of pure chaos of his own creation — thinking it was probably a hilarious book. If you’ve ever read the book, you know that — while it has glimmers of humor that I now find relatable as a par
Volunteering as an Act of Healing Volunteering as an Act of Healing Volunteering as an Act of Healing \| TAPS Stephanie Frogge “What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal.” ~ Albert Pike Altruism is defined as the practice of being concerned for and acting upon that concern for others without there being any direct benefit to the person engaging in it. For many, volunteering for a worthy cause is one way of practicing altruism even if we don’t nec
I Didn’t Cry This Morning I Didn’t Cry This Morning I Didn’t Cry This Morning Dennis Apple During my lifetime I have endured a few severe winters. These were the winters when the wind was bitter cold, when several days passed without the appearance of the sun. The snowfall was extremely heavy, and travel was difficult. During those winters, I eagerly looked forward to the first signs of spring. As we approached the end of February and rolled into March, I knew the signs to look for. We have a tulip bed in our fron
Pedaling Fast, Headed Nowhere Pedaling Fast, Headed Nowhere Pedaling Fast, Headed Nowhere Darcie Sims I was riding my new exercise bike this morning, making good on a new year’s resolution, when I got to thinking. Here I am, pedaling fast and getting nowhere. It’s hard work. Riding an exercise bike is a lot like grieving. We seem to be pedaling fast and sometimes, it seems as if we are going nowhere. Grief just seems to become an endless ribbon of concrete, stretching far past my limits of endurance. It never seems t
A Breath of Summertime—Anytime A Breath of Summertime—Anytime A Breath of Summertime—Anytime Darcie Sims It’s summer and the air is warm upon my face. The sunlight dances across the grass, casting tiny shadows of the dandelions that wave in the afternoon breeze. It’s nice here, sitting on the step, letting my mind wander, not really thinking of anything much. It’s been a long time since I was able to just sit and enjoy the gentle rhythms of a summer’s day. Do you remember summer? Summer, that wonderful reprieve from w
Mother-in-law and Daughter-in-law Mother-in-law and Daughter-in-law Mother-in-law and Daughter-in-law Stephanie Frogge The searing pain of loss envelops us completely in the days and weeks and months following the death of our beloved, whether that person was our son, daughter, brother, sister, husband, wife, daddy or mommy, or significant other. The pain effectively keeps us focused on ourselves and the unique relationship we had with the person who is now gone forever from our earthly lives. It is hard to cope with our own
Why I'm Here Why I'm Here Why I'm Here \| TAPS Emily Henkel “I will get through this. I can do hard things. These hard things will make me better and stronger. Please let me fulfill the rest of my life on this Earth. Please let me use this for good. Please send me a blessing — any blessing — and I pray so hard that soon my rescue will come.” — Personal journal entry, April 7, 2021, from a cliffside in Death Valley National Park Life has exposed itself to me in its purest and most naked form — reve
March 29, 2022 - Senate March 29, 2022 TAPS Statement for the Record: Senate \| TAPS News Advocacy Proprietary Footer March 29, 2022 - TAPS Statement for the Record Before the Committee On Veterans' Affairs United States Senate; Honoring Our Promise to Address Comprehensive Toxics Act of 2021 View the Full Hearing The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) is the national provider of comfort, care, and resources to all those grieving the death of a military loved one. TAPS was founded in 1994 as a 501(c)(3
July 17, 2017 July 17, 2017 TAPS Statement for the Record \| TAPS News Advocacy Proprietary Footer July 17, 2017 - TAPS Statement for the Record Before the Committee on Veterans’ Affairs, United States House of Representatives The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) is the national nonprofit organization providing compassionate care for the families of America’s fallen military heroes. TAPS provides peer-based emotional support, grief and trauma resources, grief seminars and retreats for adult
Wintering With Awe Wintering With Awe Wintering With Awe \| TAPS Rachel Hunsell As romantic as it sounds to feel an early autumn breeze blow through an open window — breathing in the signs of change it carries, I merely opened the window to rid my kitchen of the burnt-toast smoke plumes. I’ll prepare you a delectable four-course meal, but it’s risky to ask me to monitor the broiler. Once that cool breeze grazed my forehead, though, I felt compelled to open another window. Once our home began to swirl with aut
Embracing Your Vulnerability During the Holidays Embracing Your Vulnerability During the Holidays Embracing Your Vulnerability During the Holidays \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt Grief, the holidays, and vulnerability naturally go together because when someone in our lives dies, the holidays — and all the nostalgia they bring — can heighten our feelings of vulnerability. Being vulnerable is the opposite of protecting ourselves because when we protect ourselves, we create barriers and shields that safeguard us from harm. Common emotional shields
Lasting Wish, Lasting Gift Lasting Wish, Lasting Gift Lasting Wish, Lasting Gift \| TAPS Kristi Stolzenberg Right now, on a quiet suburban street in Vienna — just outside the Beltway around Washington, D.C. — there’s a child grinning widely, feeling the rhythmic whoosh of the wind through her hair as she pumps her legs back and forth on a swing. Running just past the tips of her outstretched toes, two young boys race each other back to the slide, exchanging playground taunts all the way. Children’s laughter reaches abov
Lest We Forget: teams4taps Brings 2 Families Together to Honor Their Heroes in Scotland Lest We Forget: teams4taps Brings 2 Families Together to Honor Their Heroes in Scotland Lest We Forget: teams4taps Brings 2 Families Together to Honor Their Heroes in Scotland \| TAPS Kristi Stolzenberg “Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive.” - Anais Nin Great loss has a way of making the world feel larger than you ever noticed. You wonder if anyone will ever understand your pain, or — perhaps more practically — if you’ll ever be able to explain th
The Heroes Journey: Telling My Story The Heroes Journey: Telling My Story The Heroes Journey: Telling My Story \| TAPS Alexis Saizon-Cowley The following is an excerpt of Alexis' powerful story of suicide loss that she shared at The Heroes Journey storytelling workshop hosted at TAPS' National Headquarters in January. If you or someone you know is experiencing thoughts of suicide, you can contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline toll-free by dialing 988. If you lost a military or veteran loved one to suicide, you are not alone. TA
Incredible Benefits of Gardening Incredible Benefits of Gardening Incredible Benefits of Gardening \| TAPS Happy DIY Home Editors Note: Amid ongoing pandemic-related restrictions, it’s important to find activities that allow you to stay active, engaged and healthy—activities that can also provide helpful benefits as we continue our grief journey. Consider gardening and learn from the article below how getting in the dirt can be fun, lift your spirits and keep you on a healthy, healing path – right in your own backyard. Thi
Saturday Morning Message: Loved Ones' Items We Keep Close Saturday Morning Message: Loved Ones' Items We Keep Close Loved Ones' Items We Keep Close \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, The opening picture came from Elsie, mother of Daniel. It shows the special remembrance quilts she made which you will read about in this week's response section. We received a large response to this week's question, regarding our loved ones' items that we keep nearby. So many, in fact, that we are sharing some in this week's edition of the Sat
Tending the Garden of Grief with Mindfulness Meditation Tending the Garden of Grief with Mindfulness Meditation Tending the Garden of Grief with Mindfulness Meditation \| TAPS Heather Stang In my small, mid-Maryland farming town, autumn is a time of harvest and abundance. Farmers markets are in full swing, nourishing our bodies with healthy vegetables and filling our senses with vibrant colors and smells. And yet, it is also a time when nature’s energy begins to wind down in preparation for winter, which I like to think of as nature’s sacred pause.
What It Means To Hold Space for Someone What It Means To Hold Space for Someone What It Means To Hold Space for Someone \| TAPS Heather Plett The Transformative Effect Of ‘Being There’ For Others Editor's Note: This article was orginally published on Heather's website on March 15, 2015. When my Mom was dying, my siblings and I gathered to be with her in her final days. None of us knew anything about supporting someone in their transition out of this life into the next, but we were pretty sure we wanted to keep her at home. S
A Mother’s Journey Through Writing A Mother’s Journey Through Writing A Mother’s Journey Through Writing \| TAPS Margaret Thomson My son, Pfc. Kieran James Thomson, took his life on August 28, 2010, three months before he was due to deploy to Afghanistan for the first time. Kieran was 22 years old at the time with a wife and a 2-year-old daughter. Despite being overwhelmed by grief, after several months I hesitantly began writing about my older son. I say hesitantly because I wasn’t at all sure whether formulating words and p
From Caregiver to Survivor From Caregiver to Survivor: Finding New Purpose and Honoring Husband's Legacy From Caregiver to Survivor: Finding New Purpose and Honoring Husband's Legacy \| TAPS Coleen Bowman Editor's note: The TAPS Caregiver to Survivor program provides comfort and care to families whose military loved ones died following an illness. In 2019 alone, TAPS welcomed 2,000 survivors who experienced such a loss. We have developed our new program to focus on the complex nature of this grief, which often begins at
Grandma's Garden of Life Grandma's Garden of Life Grandma's Garden of Life \| TAPS Rachel Hunsell Surrounded by her family, boxes of seeds and bulbs, songs of Sunday morning worship and the sound of rain on her tin roof, my Grandma’s spirit left her earthly body on the morning of my brother’s birthday in 2017. The two are forever intertwined. I’d been working at TAPS for less than two months, facilitating our backcountry expeditions and sharing the healing power of nature with my fellow survivors. Just a few
Healing Your Grieving Heart Healing Your Grieving Heart Healing Your Grieving Heart \| TAPS Bonnie Carroll Alan Wolfelt Excerpt from book by Bonnie Carroll and Alan Wolfelt, Ph.D. The TAPS family is always reaching our arms to you. Whether at seminars, retreats, or virtually through our online resources, we understand the need to have the support of an understanding community as we navigate the grief journey. We share our grief, our memories and our daily experiences to build strength and hope. When we cannot be t