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A Grateful Memorial Day A Grateful Memorial Day A Grateful Memorial Day Dr. Carla Stumpf Patton, LMHC A Grateful Memorial Day As we head into Memorial Day weekend, many look forward to the upcoming summer months as they enjoy a long weekend and time spent celebrating with family and friends. As I leave some of my family at home, I am en route flying into Arlington, Virginia, to meet my “other family” — fellow loss survivors in the military community, and to support the TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar and Go
Our Hearts Are With You — TAPS Natural Disaster Response Our Hearts Are With You — TAPS Natural Disaster Response Our Hearts Are With You — TAPS Natural Disaster Response TAPS This article was first published on the TAPS website on September 16, 2020 and has been updated periodically for the latest information regarding personal insurance and FEMA guidance after experiencing a natural disaster. ARE YOU READY? COMMUNICATION IS KEY PREPARE FOR DISASTER BUILD A KIT REPORT, RECOVER AND REBUILD LOOK FOR THE HELPERS FEDERAL RESOURCES TO PREPARE
Healing Trauma in Military Survivors Healing Trauma in Military Survivors Healing Trauma in Military Survivors \| TAPS Carla Stumpf Patton June is PTSD Awareness month June is awareness month for PTSD (Posttraumatic Stress Disorder), making it critical to talk openly to create the understanding and encouragement needed to seek care and treatment. Trauma can be experienced in people of all ages and demographics, resulting from various life events such as: natural disasters, accidents, crime, war, medical or life-threateni
The Twenty-Four Toughest Notes The Twenty-Four Toughest Notes The Twenty-Four Toughest Notes Roger Meyer Honoring our loved ones with “Taps” For more information visit www.buglesacrossamerica.org. If you are a brass player, you might consider joining us in our mission to bring live Taps to all veterans. We are always looking for more members so that we can honor more veterans. BAA has more than 5,000 buglers available across the nation. There are even members in Germany, Australia, and other countries—all sounding Taps fo
Hands Over Hearts: U.S. Olympians Honor Fallen Heroes Hands Over Hearts: U.S. Olympians Honor Fallen Heroes Hands Over Hearts: U.S. Olympians Honor Fallen Heroes Diana Hosford Right hand on heart place. We hear the first note of the National Anthem, direct our gaze to the Stars and Stripes and, for a moment, we silently and proudly honor our country. With our right hand on heart place. Holding close the memory of what we honor and celebrate. It's what we do. When the American flag is raised high in honor of a competition won, it marks a dr
Land of the Free Because of the Brave Land of the Free Because of the Brave Land of the Free Because of the Brave \| TAPS TAPS TAPS was honored to participate in the Annual “Land of the Free Veterans Day Golf Classic” in City of Industry, California. The Land of the Free Foundation partnered with the Pacific Palms and Conference Center and the Industry Hills Golf Club to play host to 50 foursomes for a one-day salute to America’s military. The tournament started with a breathtaking tribute to the families of the fallen. Sgt F
Found My NICHe Found My NICHe Found My NICHe \| TAPS Emily Dieruf Chambers Running with Team TAPS at the Marine Corps Marathon Thousands of widows share a common bond because of Operation Iraqi Freedom, each of us mourning and coping in a myriad of ways. Though it took me several years after the death of my husband, CPL Nicholas Dieruf, USMC to discover an outlet. Running quickly became a way to escape the days’ stressors, connect with a newfound community of friends, and get any day started on a positive n
TAPS Families Visit Capitol Hill During Gold Star Families Remembrance Week TAPS Families Visit Capitol Hill During Gold Star Families Remembrance Week TAPS Families Visit Capitol Hill During Gold Star Families Remembrance Week \| TAPS TAPS The last full week of September is a special one for the TAPS community. Since 2018, Congress has recognized this time as Gold Star Families Remembrance Week providing an opportunity for the nation to pause as they honor and remember the sacrifices made by all those who have lost a loved one who served in the military. “Our nation
Beamer the Dog Beamer the Dog Beamer the Dog \| TAPS Beamer Burleson Greetings my two-legged friends! My name is Beamer Burleson and I’ve been told that I am the greatest dog on the planet! I am 11 years old and have the joy of helping my Mommy by being her best friend when she is sad. She calls me her service dog. It all started with Daddy and Mommy wanting me to help other soldiers when they returned from deployments. We trained as a Therapy Dog Team and I visited wounded warriors at Fort Bragg
I’ve Been Everywhere, Man: teams4taps on the road with the NBA I’ve Been Everywhere, Man: teams4taps on the road with the NBA I’ve Been Everywhere, Man: teams4taps on the road with the NBA Bevin Landrum Military families are frequently called to live far from home. Whether they are stationed overseas or just across the country, service members and their families look for ways to maintain close connections to those they love and miss. Walk in any commissary, exchange or food court on a military installation and you’re liable to see a dozen different team
Washington Capitals Launch Courage Caps, Host Skating Party for TAPS Families Washington Capitals Launch Courage Caps, Host Skating Party for TAPS Families Washington Capitals Launch Courage Caps, Host Skating Party for TAPS Families TAPS Washington Capitals American-born players John Carlson, Connor Carrick and Jack Hillen hosted more than 120 children and adults assisted by Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) for a skating party at Kettler Capitals Iceplex on Monday, Feb. 3. The event kicked off the 2013-14 Courage Caps campaign sponsored by Telos Co
Honor and Remember Honor and Remember Honor and Remember George Lutz We've all heard the expression that freedom isn't free. That phrase became all too real to me on December 30, 2005. I got a knock on the door from two uniformed soldiers who spoke to me five simple words that changed my life forever: “We regret to inform you.” My oldest son Tony had been killed the day before by a sniper's bullet while on patrol in Fallujah, Iraq. The word “devastation” doesn’t begin to describe the flood of emotion th
20 Years of TEAM TAPS 20 Years of TEAM TAPS 20 Years of TEAM TAPS \| TAPS TAPS Conquering the Distance – Honoring our Heroes This could be a simple story of individuals who love to run, lacing up their sneakers and pounding the pavement in pursuit of a personal best time, wanting another finisher’s medal to add to their collection or channeling their energy into physical activity. This could be a simple story. Yet this twenty-year journey is a story filled with passion, determination, reverence, love and a happ
TAPS marks 25 years of service in 2019 TAPS marks 25 years of service in 2019 TAPS marks 25 years of service in 2019 TAPS Each Friday, please visit our blog and join us as we take a look back at stories, people and events that have shaped who we are today. We are a family of survivors honoring our selfless heroes who paid the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom. We are grieving parents, spouses, children, siblings, grandparents, fiancées, battle buddies and loved ones. We are hope. We are strength. We are TAPS. This year, TAP
Donor Spotlight Jason Pak Donor Spotlight: Jason Pak Donor Spotlight Boeing Jason Pak \| TAPS TAPS Capt. Jason Pak, U.S. Army (Ret.) Director, Boeing veterans initiatives, mid-Atlantic region. Capt. Jason Pak, U.S. Army (Ret.), is Boeing's director of veterans initiatives for the mid-Atlantic region. But his military life started as an Army brat who traveled the world with his family. He graduated from the U.S. Military Academy at West Point and deployed to Afghanistan in October 2012. His life was forever cha
Saturday Morning Message: Displaying Memorabilia Saturday Morning Message: Displaying Memorabilia Saturday Morning Message: Displaying Memorabilia Carol Lane Good Morning, This week’s question was inspired by Merry, surviving mother of Wesley. She sent a picture of what she had done to produce Wes’s Honor Wall. The thought crossed my mind that it might be good to find out what others have done with those special mementoes, so last week’s question asked survivors what they chose to do with these beloved items. The answers were varied and in
Helping Surviving Families Achieve Their Post-Secondary Goals Helping Surviving Families Achieve Their Post-Secondary Goals Helping Surviving Families Achieve Their Post-Secondary Goals \| TAPS TAPS When considering post-secondary education, begin with the end in mind and know where you would like to be in the future. It is okay to start right where you are, recognizing that every survivor is at a different point in their school search process. Take one step at a time to be closer to where you would like to be. Remember to cast a wide net when starting y
Grasping the Magnitude of the Sacrifice Grasping the Magnitude of the Sacrifice Grasping the Magnitude of the Sacrifice \| TAPS Angel Munoz My name is Angel Munoz. I am a veteran of the United States Army, and this is my family's story. Along with having the distinct honor of calling myself a veteran, I can also call myself a proud sister of three brothers who also served in the military, and they all served in this war with Iraq. The youngest of the brothers both served in Iraq as Marines and the oldest of the boys, Army Spc. Rober
Five Years into the After: A Letter to Owen Five Years into the After: A Letter to Owen Five Years into the After: A Letter to Owen \| TAPS Kelly Lennon Fitzpatrick Hello Little Brother, I think about you every day. I know you know that. Each year around your anniversary, the thoughts become strings of words, and I’ve tried to record my changing feelings around the times “Before” and “After.” This year, the words have changed and are less for me and more for you — my conversation with you. We feel you all around us, and are reminded of
The Powerful Experience of a Civilian Serving TAPS The Powerful Experience of a Civilian Serving Families of the Fallen The Powerful Experience of a Civilian Serving Families of the Fallen \| TAPS Casey Callanan As I was driving north after work on Friday to spend a sunny Memorial Day weekend on the Jersey Shore in 2012, the Vice President's voice suddenly gripped my attention. The radio station's voiceover explained Joe Biden was speaking at an event organized by TAPS (Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors). Having recently moved to the W
Online Financial Counseling Online Financial Counseling Online Financial Counseling Fran Hackett To Help Beneficiaries Plan Ahead Eligible beneficiaries in the Servicemembers’ Group Life Insurance (SGLI) Program can now take advantage of two new online financial services that can help with financial planning and also provide the ability to create a will. Eligible beneficiaries include those who have received a payment from SGLI, Veterans’ Group Life Insurance (VGLI), or Family SGLI (FSGLI). The Department of Veterans A
Thank You for Supporting Our Mission in 2022 Thank You for Supporting Our Mission in 2022 Thank You for Supporting Our Mission in 2022 \| TAPS TAPS TAPS is grateful for the incredible outpouring of support we received in 2022. We are humbled that so many members of our TAPS family brought us along as they honored their loved one; we applaud the communities around the country who gathered to pay tribute to local heroes; and we sincerely thank our growing circle of supporters for sharing the TAPS mission. When you fundraise for TAPS, you a
Saturday Morning Message: Positive Lessons Learned Saturday Morning Message: Positive Lessons Learned Saturday Morning Message: Positive Lessons Learned Carol Lane Good Morning, The question last week was about sharing positive lessons learned on this grief journey. Lighthouses have special meaning for me. They light the way for those encountering difficulties while traveling. We do the same when we write about our experiences in the Saturday Morning Message. Sometimes we encounter these concepts in the form of surprises. This past Sunday
Spotlight on Service: Sergeant Kris Giuranna Spotlight on Service: Sergeant Kris Giuranna Spotlight on Service: Sergeant Kris Giuranna TAPS Whether it’s a regional Good Grief Camp at Fort Hood, an outdoor camp in North Carolina, or the national camp in DC, chances are you have seen the familiar face of one of our favorite Marines and mentors, Sergeant Kris Giuranna. Kris has been a part of the team since 2008 when he first volunteered for the Ohio Regional Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp. There he noticed that one of the TAPS banne
College Scholarship for Surviving High School Seniors in Michigan College Scholarship for Surviving High School Seniors in Michigan College Scholarship for Surviving High School Seniors in Michigan \| TAPS TAPS The Detroit Lions are offering educational scholarships to Michigan children who have suffered the loss of a parent or sibling who served in the military. The scholarships, which may be applied toward tuition, room and board, books, fees, computers and other educational expenses, are intended to bridge the gap between available education resources an
A Recipe for Holiday Wellness A Recipe for Holiday Wellness A Recipe for Holiday Wellness Nancy Heinrich Holiday traditions are part of a family’s collective memory. What was your favorite holiday tradition growing up? Was it making and decorating cookies with your mother? Singing carols with neighbors? Decorating the house? Holiday traditions are part of a family's collective memory. Traditions define families and communities. Children depend on them like they do the security of their favorite blanket. Traditions gro
Flashback Fridays: TAPS Magazine TAPS Magazine: A source of inspiration, comfort, support and resources TAPS Magazine: A source of inspiration, comfort, support and resources \| TAPS TAPS Each Friday, please visit our blog and join us as we take a look back at stories, people and events that have shaped who we are today. We are a family of survivors honoring our selfless heroes who paid the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom. We are grieving parents, spouses, children, siblings, grandparents, fiancées, battle buddies and l
Working Together in Treating Suicide Loss Trauma Working Together in Treating Suicide Loss Trauma Working Together in Treating Suicide Loss Trauma \| TAPS Jennifer Keeling TAPS and Home Base Survivors dealing with grief may also be coping with trauma, so it helps to understand how this impacts healing. Trauma can be experienced from many life events like accidents, crime, disasters, war, medical emergencies, or violence. Trauma can produce emotional and physical responses as a result of exposure to extreme, unexpected, or horrifying cir
Flashback Fridays: Cherished Memories from a Child Revisited Cherished Memories from a Child Revisited Cherished memories from a child revisited \| TAPS TAPS Each Friday, please visit our blog and join us as we take a look back at stories, people and events that have shaped who we are today. We are a family of survivors honoring our selfless heroes who paid the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom. We are grieving parents, spouses, children, siblings, grandparents, fiancées, battle buddies and loved ones. We are hope. We are strength. We are TAPS.
Believing in Heroes Believing in Heroes Believing in Heroes Marten Wallace On September 2015, I had the great pleasure of representing TAPS at the Points of Light National Day of Service and Remembrance held at the Washington Monument. Being asked to be a storyteller to the 5th graders of Harriet Tubman Elementary School was a great privilege and honor. The title of my story was, Believing in Heroes. I asked the children during my story, what is a hero? Is a hero a cartoon character like Superman or an athlet
Q&A with Atlanta Falcons Alex Mack Q&A with Atlanta Falcons Alex Mack Q&A with Atlanta Falcons Alex Mack \| TAPS Alex Meyers Sports can be a powerful force to bring people together. But at a time when we can’t be physically together, we are fortunate to still have the ability to be together as a community. We may be physically distanced, but we are still socially connected. As much as we, the fans, are missing our connection to teams and sports, many players are missing their connection to their fans too. TAPS recently hosted
How Well Do You Know TAPS Education Support Services? How Well Do You Know TAPS Education Support Services? How Well Do You Know TAPS Education Support Services? \| TAPS TAPS Busting Common Myths Myth: TAPS Education Support Services is just for surviving children. Myth Busted: We absolutely support surviving children entering college, but that isn’t all we do! Education Support Services serves surviving family members of any age or relationship to the fallen. Myth: TAPS Education Support Services is just for college-bound students.
Struggling To Reclaim My Faith Struggling To Reclaim My Faith Struggling To Reclaim My Faith Dennis Apple My nightmare began on Wednesday, February 6, 1991, at 8:20 a.m. Denny, our eighteen- year-old son had been diagnosed with mononucleosis two days prior, and the doctor had sent us home with medications and orders to rest. However, something awful happened during the night, and the following morning I discovered he had died in his sleep. There is nothing I know of that compares to the horror and shock that comes to the h
Saturday Morning Message: Places That Touch Our Hearts Saturday Morning Message: Places That Touch Our Hearts Saturday Morning Message: Places That Touch Our Hearts \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, With the winter touching many parts of our nation, I thought a picture of a sunrise over a calm lake would be good start for today’s Saturday Morning Message. Once again there are many different responses to the question about places that pull at our heartstrings. This week I am going to add one of my own. For me, the most difficult place is the ch
A Bittersweet Gift: Finding Comfort in teams4taps A Bittersweet Gift: Finding Comfort in teams4taps A Bittersweet Gift: Finding Comfort in teams4taps \| TAPS Elizabeth Engleman-Hammett U.S. Army Specialist Tyler Brent Hammett It was Super Bowl Sunday, February 2, 2014. My family and I were settled in front of the television watching the game, as we do every Sunday during football season. It wasn’t quite half-time, rather late in the day, so we were a little more than perplexed to hear someone knock on our front door. In th
Lessons Learned Lessons Learned Lessons Learned Ashlynne Haycock-Lohmann In 2002 I lost my dad while he was training to deploy to Iraq. I was ten years old. College was the last thing on my mind, and it was not high on my mother's priority list either. It was always something I knew I would do, but not something my mother and I really discussed until the end of my junior year of high school after I had taken multiple AP exams, done expensive ACT prep and testing and was now paying ridiculous amounts of mon
Turning Devastation into Hope Turning Devastation into Hope Turning Devastation into Hope \| TAPS Carolyn Colley My brother, Army Pfc. Stephen E. Colley, was my best friend. He was smart, caring and funny. He had a huge heart – he greeted everyone with a hug and never left a conversation without a smile. I loved and admired him in so many ways. When he returned from a deployment to Iraq, he was different, and while we could tell he was suffering, we did not know just how bad it was or what we needed to do. Ultimately, the
Finding My Faith Finding My Faith Finding My Faith Rachael Hill I don’t normally write about my faithin my blog but something hit me recently that I just have to share. This past month my boys and I went to visit some friends out of state. Not just any friends, but my FLO (Family Liaison Officer) and his wife who we have become extremely close with since my husband’s death 27 months ago. I had known Daniel for many years before hebecame my FLO and he had worked very closely with my husband Jeff on numerous o
Letting Leisure in After Loss Letting Leisure in After Loss Letting Leisure in After Loss \| TAPS Rachel Hunsell leisure (n) / lei • sure / (lē´•r, le´•r) : free time, although not idle time : personal freedom from responsibilities of work, daily tasks, etc. : the freedom and the capacity to live and experience life within recreation (n) / rec • rea • tion / (rek´rēā´sh•n) : what we do during our leisure time — activities done for enjoyment play (n, v) / (plā) : act of engaging in activities without inhibit
Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Events Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Events Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Events Carol Lane Good morning, I wanted to share one of my favorite areas at the 23rd Annual TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp, which was where I was for Memorial Day weekend. This is a picture of the TAPS Family Tree. Survivors were encouraged to take a paper leaf and write a message to their loved one. There was a sticky back to the leaf, and the survivors could place it next to
We Find Our Strength Together We Find Our Strength Together We Find Our Strength Together TAPS Our TAPS family makes memories beyond the seminars and retreats, in small towns and big cities, in communities across America. We enjoy family meals and experience new adventures together. We come together for TAPS Care Groups or to attend sporting events or to take in special events of all sorts. We call these opportunities to be with our new found friends “TAPS Togethers,” one-day events in communities across the country brin
The True Meaning of Sacrifice The True Meaning of Sacrifice The True Meaning of Sacrifice Ron Bevan This item was originally printed in the Draper City Journal and updated for this publication by Ron Bevan, Sports Journalist with the Draper City Journal. The wearing of names on the back of uniforms is nothing new. It began as a way of identifying a favored player from the cheap seats. It is used today in professional ranks and most college athletic programs. Rarely does it make it to the high school level. The Corner
Run and Remember: Honoring the Memory of Windy25 Run and Remember: Honoring the Memory of Windy25 Run and Remember: Honoring the Memory of Windy25 TAPS On April 6, 2005 a U.S. Army helicopter crashed near Ghazni, Afghanistan killing all five crew members along with 11 passengers. The call-sign of the CH-47 Chinook helicopter was Windy25, one of the aircraft belonging to F Company, 159th Aviation Regiment, “Big Windy.” Each year since the crash, members of the unit have gathered to honor their battle buddies and memorialize the loss. In t
Letters from TAPS: From the Peer Mentor Team Letters from TAPS: From the Peer Mentor Team Letters from TAPS: From the Peer Mentor Team Claire Hunter Dear TAPS family, Spring is upon us and soon we will see the trees and flowers begin to blossom. We’ll begin to see signs of new growth everywhere we look, and we will feel a noticeable difference between the seasons of winter and spring. As I approach spring and the concept of new growth, I am immediately reminded of our team of TAPS peer mentors. As members of the TAPS family, m
Peer Mentors are Always By Your Side Peer Mentors are Always By Your Side Peer Mentors are Always By Your Side TAPS Peer connections are at the heart of TAPS, and our Peer Mentor program makes that possible. Peer Mentors are survivors 18 months past their loss who walk alongside those newer to grief to provide a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. Peer Mentors and their mentees across the country connect in person, on the phone, and through emails and texts. As always, our Peer Mentors are dedicated to being a constant so
Comfort Zones Comfort Zones Comfort Zones Shanette Booker I was never the one to "go out on a limb", or the one who "took a chance", or the "throw caution to the wind" type. I was a girl with a semi-low self-esteem who smiled because she knew some day the world would become a better place for her. I had my own comfort zone with clothing, friends, work, and even with excitement. I would hang out with the same bunch of people, never really letting too many "newbies" get attached or get to know me. I went
Breaking Barriers and Building Strength: My Journey to the Ice Track Breaking Barriers and Building Strength: My Journey to the Ice Track Breaking Barriers and Building Strength: My Journey to the Ice Track \| TAPS Brandon Blackmore Editor's Note: As TAPS Education Support Service Advocate Brandon Blackmore prepares to compete in the Empire State Winter Games January 30 to February 2, 2025, he shares words of inspiration that resonate with anyone journeying through grief as much as they do for a competitive athlete. There’s something humbling about standing a
National Suicide Prevention Month: TAPS Support and Resources National Suicide Prevention Month: TAPS Support and Resources National Suicide Prevention Month: Support and Resources \| TAPS Carla Stumpf Patton Each September we recognize Suicide Prevention Month, and while every day of the year is an opportunity for awareness, this time of the year specifically we emphasize education and sharing life-saving resources on all issues related to suicide—also referred to as prevention, intervention, and postvention. For those who are suicide loss survivors
Run and Remember: Finding Our Stride Run and Remember: Finding Our Stride Run and Remember: Finding Our Stride Marie Campbell How the Marine Corps Marathon became a fundraiser for TAPS On June 25, 1996, at three o’clock in the morning, my life changed forever when three Air Force officials knocked on my door to tell me that my husband and best friend, Dee “Soup” Campbell, was one of nineteen Airmen who did not survive a terrorist attack at the Khobar Towers Military Housing Complex in Saudi Arabia. I couldn’t comprehend this, s
Saturday Morning Message: Dreams Part 2 Saturday Morning Message: Dreams Part 2 Saturday Morning Message: Dreams Part 2 \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, This Sunday is Veterans Day, so in addition to the delightful answers that were sent in response to our question about dreams, I thought I would add a Comcast Newsmakers interview with Erin Jacobson who is on the TAPS staff and talks about the service of our organization. It will be broadcast as part of an hour-long Veterans Day broadcast. This way you get to see it first! You can
988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Offers Hope, Connection and Support to Help Save Lives 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Offers Hope, Connection and Support to Help Save Lives 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Offers Hope, Connection and Support to Help Save Lives \| TAPS Carla Stumpf Patton We all can do our part at preventing suicide, starting with the resources to seek support and help from the new, “988” Suicide & Crisis Lifeline and Veteran’s Crisis Line (Veterans press1). The Transition to 988 on July 16, 2022 is an important step forward and offers an unprecedented opportuni
The Run and Remember Team The Run and Remember Team The Run and Remember Team TAPS Transitioning to Team TAPS for the New Year It was the fall of 2000 when TAPS entered its first team in the Marine Corps Marathon. The team consisted of Lori Hunter and Marie Campbell, both surviving widows. Through the years, the team has grown by leaps and bounds, encompassing runners of every relationship, age, and experience. The team also has grown to cover many more events than the annual Marine Corps Marathon in Washington, D.C.
TAPS Joins Letter to Candidates on Honoring Families of the Fallen TAPS Joins Letter to Candidates on Honoring Families of the Fallen TAPS Joins Letter to Candidates on Honoring Families of the Fallen TAPS (Updated August 2, 2016) To the military and veterans communities, nothing is more sacred or honored than the families of those who are grieving the death of their fallen military hero, a member of our armed forces who has died while serving their country. More than a hundred years ago, the President of the United States wrote reverently to a grieving m
Ted Stevens: Leaving a legacy of caring for families of the fallen Ted Stevens: Leaving a legacy of caring for families of the fallen Ted Stevens: Leaving a legacy of caring for families of the fallen \| TAPS TAPS Each Friday, please visit our blog and join us as we take a look back at stories, people and events that have shaped who we are today. We are a family of survivors honoring our selfless heroes who paid the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom. We are grieving parents, spouses, children, siblings, grandparents, fiancées, battle buddies and loved ones.
Saturday Morning Message: What Do Others Do About Vactions Saturday Morning Message: What Do Others Do About Vactions Saturday Morning Message: What Do Others Do About Vactions Carol Lane Good Morning, Everyone's idea of a vacation is different. Mine involves either visiting relatives or going to the ocean beach. The place we go for our ocean retreat has changed. I haven't been back to the place we took our son and daughter when they were younger. However, this is a picture of a new place that was chosen by our daughter. We have added her husband t
Camaraderie and Comfort Camaraderie and Comfort Camaraderie and Comfort \| TAPS TAPS In small towns and big cities, at a coffee shop in a quiet room—the comfort and camaraderie of your TAPS family is right around the corner and close to home. Whether you want to talk about your grief and gain insight into how others are coping, share a casual visit or participate in an activity where you can enjoy the sights and sounds of nature—the love and care of TAPS is present where you live, work and play. TAPS Togethers and
Saturday Morning Message: On Memorial Day and Everyday, TAPS Is Here For You Saturday Morning Message: On Memorial Day and Everyday, TAPS Is Here For You On Memorial Day and Everyday, TAPS Is Here For You \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message TAPS Good Morning TAPS Family, Our vision to grow and share within our survivor community continues to flow with the outpouring of love and care from you! We appreciate all of the dedication and direct responses to our Saturday Morning Message, created by Carol Lane. We are preparing a newly formatted Saturday offering for you that we
Run and Remember: A Special Connection Run and Remember: A Special Connection Run and Remember: A Special Connection Bob Derga Lisa Arnold Each year the TAPS Run and Remember Team pairs willing runners with families of the fallen whose loved ones will be commemorated by the run. As our largest running event of the year, the Marine Corps Marathon (MCM) in October fields the most runners and therefore makes the most connections between families and runners. Last year Lisa Arnold, a mother of five young boys, ran the MCM in h
Saturday Morning Message: Practicing Self Care Saturday Morning Message: Practicing Self Care Saturday Morning Message: Practicing Self Care \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, This man is doing one of the first things I do after I get up in the morning — have a cup of coffee and try to reflect on my plans for the day. An article from the TAPS archives titled Open Your Heart to Healing: Emotional Engagement in Your Own Life by Emily Muñoz gives a list of ways to help practice self care both physically and mentally. In addition to this articl
5 Ways to Create Memories with Your Loved One Who Died 5 Ways to Create Memories with Your Loved One Who Died 5 Ways to Create Memories with Your Loved One Who Died Allicia Johnson One of the most painful parts of grief is facing a string of tomorrows without your loved one. Whether you lost the love of your life last month or were in utero when your dad was killed, your older brother lost his battle with depression or post-traumatic stress three years ago or your mother slipped quietly away while in hospice care, the past is all you have with th
Video: The Toxic Exposure in the American Military (TEAM) Act Video: The Toxic Exposure in the American Military (TEAM) Act Video: The Toxic Exposure in the American Military (TEAM) Act \| TAPS TAPS Media For 26 years, the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) has cared for those grieving the death of a military loved one regardless of how they died. TAPS is leading the way in developing legislation relevant to the issue of toxic exposure in the military which has led to a unanimous Senate Committee on Veterans' Affairs vote to pass our Landmar
Anniversary Blues Anniversary Blues Anniversary Blues \| TAPS Betsy Beard Handling the most dreaded day of the year The date is engraved on my heart. The awful day he died. Every year that date comes around again on the calendar, and for lack of anything better, we call it the anniversary of his death. It seems so wrong; anniversaries should be for celebrating a joyous occasion, not for acknowledging a death. But in the six and a half years since Brad’s death, we have never come up with an acceptable alternate
Saturday Morning Message: Summer Memories Saturday Morning Message: Summer Memories Saturday Morning Message: Summer Memories \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, The replies sent in response to the question about summer memories this week were wonderful. When I read them, I got a picture in my mind of the places described. One survivor, Debby RM, spouse of Tom, sent a picture of Lake Tahoe to go along with one of her memories. I thought it would make a good opening for this week’s message. Debby wrote, “Lake Tahoe is where Tom and I we
Keeping up with Your Benefits Keeping up with Your Benefits Keeping up with Your Benefits \| TAPS Kathy Moakler Sometimes it can be confusing to keep up with all the changes to survivor benefits. TAPS is here to keep you informed of new changes and to assist you with previous benefits. Here is an update on what’s new. New FEDVIP program for Dental and Vision Care Do you use the TRICARE Retiree Dental Program? This program will end on December 31, 2018 and be replaced by the Federal Employees Dental and Vision Insurance
Why I'm Here Why I'm Here Why I'm Here \| TAPS Emily Henkel “I will get through this. I can do hard things. These hard things will make me better and stronger. Please let me fulfill the rest of my life on this Earth. Please let me use this for good. Please send me a blessing — any blessing — and I pray so hard that soon my rescue will come.” — Personal journal entry, April 7, 2021, from a cliffside in Death Valley National Park Life has exposed itself to me in its purest and most naked form — reve
Spotlight on Service: Maria Elena Bancroft Spotlight on Service: Maria Elena Bancroft Spotlight on Service: Maria Elena Bancroft TAPS Recuerda el amor, Celebra la vida. Comparte el viaje. Remember the love. Celebrate the life. Share the journey. Our TAPS motto crosses both cultural and language barriers with the help of volunteer Maria Elena Bancroft. Maria Elena lost her husband U.S. Marine Corps Captain Matthew Bancroft thirteen years ago, and eight years later found TAPS to join her on the journey through grief. Two years ago,
Saturday Morning Message: Favorite Hometown Places Saturday Morning Message: Favorite Hometown Places Saturday Morning Message: Favorite Hometown Places \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, There are many wonderful places to visit in our country. TAPS helps us see some of those places when we think about going to the various retreats, seminars, and other experiences with a group of survivors. To find out more, go to the events section of the TAPS website. This week the responders proudly wrote about the great locations in their hometowns that pe
Saturday Morning Message: Celebrating Our Great Country Saturday Morning Message: Celebrating Our Great Country Celebrating Our Great Country \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Today we are celebrating July 4th by virtually traveling. The opening picture is the front of one of the hotels that housed the TAPS 24th National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp in Arlington, Virginia. In addition to the beautiful flag and flowers, the link shows pictures of the activities that happened at that seminar. We hope you will enjoy
Financial Counseling Financial Counseling Financial Counseling Fran Hackett Your Best Decision in a Difficult Time Making important financial decisions can be difficult for anyone, even under the best of circumstances. But making them after you’ve experienced the death of a loved one can seem like an impossible task and is often far from being a priority. Finances are most likely the furthest thing from your mind when you are grieving. In addition, your already strong emotions may be compounded by receiving a
Following in Dad’s Footsteps Following in Dad’s Footsteps Following in Dad’s Footsteps Kelly McHugh-Stewart The last mile was the most painful, physically and mentally. I tried to keep from dwelling too much on my dad for the first 24 miles of the race in fear I’d break down too early and lose the energy I needed to finish my first marathon. But once my blistered body hit the 25-mile marker, I let the tears and the memories flow. My salty tears mixed with my sweat and were quickly washed away in the steady downpour of r
Saturday Morning Message: When Grief Awakes You Saturday Morning Message: When Grief Awakes You Saturday Morning Message: When Grief Awakes You Carol Lane Good Morning, Sleep can be difficult for many survivors after the death of a loved one. Sharing ideas among survivors may be helpful. When we are grieving, it is hard to come up with new ideas, so today we will look at a variety of thoughts survivors have sent. Caryn, mother of Nathan, wrote, "When grief wakes me, it's usually because of a realistic-type dream. I usually can't retur
Saturday Morning Message: Living A Life With Honor Saturday Morning Message: Living A Life With Honor Saturday Morning Message: Living A Life With Honor \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, In the latest issue of TAPS Magazine, author Alan Wolfelt shares his thoughts about using the word reconciliation instead of closure when talking about our feelings around the death of a loved one. He wrote, “Reconciling our grief means integrating our new reality of a life without the physical presence of the person who died. Not just surviving, but really li
A Grateful Nation Honors Fallen Heroes A Grateful Nation Honors Fallen Heroes A Grateful Nation Honors Fallen Heroes TAPS This Memorial Day weekend, as we remember the ultimate sacrifice of our nation’s service members, there are many opportunities around the country to honor their memory. Across the Country National Cemetery Ceremonies The National Cemetery Administration will host Memorial Day ceremonies at VA national cemeteries across the country, with the help of local communities. Most states have a Veterans Affairs n
Saturday Morning Message: Personalized Memorials Express Your Special Relationship Saturday Morning Message: Personalized Memorials Express Your Special Relationship Saturday Morning Message: Personalized Memorials Express Your Special Relationship \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, There are days during the year that commemorate the special connection we have with our loved ones. Last week Dianna, wife of Thomas, wanted to know what others do on those days. In addition to the responses from other survivors, I wanted to share what we do. My husband and I joined a gardening gr
Saturday Morning Message: To Continue Traditions or Not? Saturday Morning Message: To Continue Traditions or Not? To Continue Traditions or Not? \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, Sometimes it is comforting to go to a place that was special to you and your loved one. This is a photo of Lake Tahoe sent by a survivor, Debbie, spouse of Tom, for inclusion in an earlier Saturday Morning Message. She wrote, “Lake Tahoe will always be my happy place and its magic holds the most incredible memories of joy, happiness and true love th
Create Your Own Finish Line Create Your Own Finish Line Create Your Own Finish Line Carol Bazemore Local Race Events Commemorate the Fallen Team TAPS has been leading runners along race courses from Washington, D.C., to Anchorage, Alaska, for 15 years, building charity partner relationships with established races to create awareness of the TAPS mission and honor our fallen heroes. In addition, Team TAPS is focused on helping survivors create their own endurance activities that honor their loved ones in their hometowns
Saturday Morning Message: Easing Anxiety and Stress Saturday Morning Message: Easing Anxiety and Stress Saturday Morning Message: Easing Anxiety and Stress \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, Stress and anxiety are emotions felt by grieving people. This week, survivors share ideas on what brings them comfort when these emotions come over them. Hugs help me the most, so I’m sharing a picture of two survivors giving each other a wonderful hug. It is also the reason I sign most of my TAPS correspondence with the word “Hugs.” Please feel that I am hu
Saturday Morning Message: Lifting Our Spirits Saturday Morning Message: Lifting Our Spirits Saturday Morning Message: Angelversary Ideas \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, This week, in addition to the responses to the question about lifting spirits, there were a variety of pictures included. The lead picture comes from Kelsey, mother of Michael. You will read her explanation later in the message. We all have such unique ways of creating a way to lift our spirits when we are down. I know you will find those who wrote this week to have imag
TAPS Survivor Newsletter December 2023 TAPS Survivor Newsletter December 2023 TAPS Survivor Newsletter December 2023 TAPS Media This holiday season, we remember your loved one and hold you close in our heart. Your TAPS Family gets it, who understands that these are difficult days. You are not alone. TAPS is here for you throughout the holidays and every day. In this issue: A Message from TAPS President and Founder Bonnie Carroll Tips for Facing Holiday Grief Survivor Story: Life Will Be Different, But It Can Still Be Go
Saturday Morning Message: Life Changes Saturday Morning Message: Life Changes Saturday Morning Message: Life Changes \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, The picture this week is of TAPS volunteers working on sending out information to survivors. I thought it would be a good picture since so many of the responders talked about volunteer work they are doing. As for me, joining the TAPS organization as a Peer Mentor was a turning point. From there, the idea of starting the weekly Saturday Morning Message came. When I started working pa
Honoring an American Hero at America’s Ballpark Honoring an American Hero at America’s Ballpark Honoring an American Hero at America’s Ballpark \| TAPS Grace Polk On October 16, 2003, New York Yankees Infielder Aaron Boone hit a walk-off home run in game seven of the American League Championship Series (ALCS). History repeating for the perennially downtrodden Red Sox Nation — a city of loveable losers lost once again. I was 8 years old. My mom grew up in Dorchester, and as a Massachusetts native, she lived through the dark days — the curse.
Spotlight on Service: John Rhoten Spotlight on Service: John Rhoten Spotlight on Service: John Rhoten TAPS Volunteer (noun): 1.a person who chooses to join the military; 2. a person who does work without getting paid to do it. Although these two definitions from Merriam-Webster may not define every TAPS volunteer, they certainly define 2nd Lieutenant John Rhoten, as he serves our nation’s Armed Forces and TAPS. John, a native of Stafford, Virginia, enlisted in the U.S. Army in October of 2002. Since that time, he h
The Honorable Celestial Discharge The Honorable Celestial Discharge The Honorable Celestial Discharge Colleen Betlach New terminology to bring comfort and hope As the holiday season approaches and our thoughts turn to holiday music, miracles, lights, and angelic hosts, I am reminded of a Thanksgiving night that I experienced many years ago while working at a VA Medical Center (VAMC). It was then that I first heard of an Honorable Celestial Discharge. I began my work at a VAMC shortly after my own Honorable Medical Dischar
TAPS Young Adults Summit: A Weekend of Hope, Connections and Possibilities TAPS NFL Young Adults Summit: A Weekend of Hope, Connections and Possibilities TAPS NFL Young Adults Summit: A Weekend of Hope, Connections and Possibilities Renee Monczynski In July, forty surviving children and siblings, ages 18 to 30, and at varying stages of their grief journey, came together with their TAPS Family in Atlanta for the TAPS NFL Young Adults Summit. These young adults came from locations across the country - some connecting with TAPS for the first time, and others who have
Losing Todd, A Mother's Journey Losing Todd, A Mother's Journey Losing Todd, A Mother's Journey \| TAPS Jeanne Weaver The Gift at the Water's Edge Three days after our son First Lieutenant Todd Weaver was killed, I walked the beach near our home, not knowing whether I had the physical strength to keep my legs moving or whether I would collapse onto the sand. I walked, searching for peace in my heart and some degree of comfort or understanding. I thought, “Who can I turn to? Where do I turn?” That day, I reached the jett
Adventures Give Us Strength in the Wilderness of Grief Adventures Give Us Strength in the Wilderness of Grief Adventures Give Us Strength in the Wilderness of Grief \| TAPS Rachel Hunsell When grief halts everything we once knew, we are asked to pause, reflect, and then rebuild. Planning and preparation are the gateway to discovering something new outside of who we are — learning to step into what we can become if we simply keep going. On TAPS Expeditions, we explore the wilderness of our earth and of our grief. We discover the ways in which the
Saturday Morning Message: Support from Loved Ones Saturday Morning Message: Support from Loved Ones Saturday Morning Message: Support from Loved One Carol Lane Good Morning, The picture today comes from the TAPS Magazine archives. Although our loved one's friends don't just include battle buddies, the article "Team TAPS: Battle Buddies" shares how some have honored their fallen comrades. Today's replies include many different ways our loved one's friends have helped survivors. Would you like to share a question or read how other survivo
Letter From TAPS: TAPS Offers Space for Healing Letter From TAPS: TAPS Offers Space for Healing Letter From TAPS: TAPS Offers Space for Healing Carla Stumpf Patton At the beginning steps of our grief, it can feel as if we are lost on a vast landscape with no compass to help us navigate. Then we connect to the TAPS family and find that we are no longer on this journey by ourselves. Along the way, our emotions and our needs change…in and out of the seasons, from hearing that special song, or with the apprehension of how we will make it th
To Be A Patriot To Be A Patriot To Be A Patriot \| TAPS Michele Hiester Marcum There are some defining moments in life that become forever ingrained in the memory and upon which all other memories hinge. For my family, that moment came knocking when two men in green delivered news we didn't want to hear. My brother wasn't coming home. I don't know that I can adequately express what that means, but I'd like to share a few thoughts: First and foremost, we've been forced into a club no one wants to join - Th
Saturday Morning Message: Continuing Our Loved Ones' Habits Saturday Morning Message: Continuing Our Loved Ones' Habits Continuing Our Loved Ones' Habits \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, In my area of the country, fall is coming. This week’s question, combined with the leaves beginning to change color, made me think of a habit I still do that started with my son, Bryon, playing football in high school. Although I didn’t know much about the sport before he decided to play, I learned the names of many plays and what each player
Among the Zebras Among the Zebras Among the Zebras Judi Swenson For those planning on attending the TAPS National Suicide Seminar in October for the first time, this is for you. Please don't get cold feet. Don't be scared. There is nothing else like it. I know this is very long. Please take a few minutes to read it through. I unfortunately will have to miss this years seminar. Don't you. You will find love, support, and understanding. HUGS. I lost my son, Davey, to suicide on June 16, 2005. My family has
Saturday Morning Message: Tokens Left at the Cemetery Saturday Morning Message: Tokens Left at the Cemetery Saturday Morning Message: Tokens Left at the Cemetery \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, When survivors go to the cemetery to spend time, they bring items that are meaningful to their loved one and themselves. The opening picture came from Claire, daughter of William. As you can see, she brings items that go with the season. The cemetery where my son, Bryon, lies allows only flowers, stones and wreaths. This week survivors shared the many di
Saturday Morning Message: Handling Paperwork Saturday Morning Message: Handling Paperwork Saturday Morning Message: Handling Paperwork Carol Lane Good morning, There are two ideas that came to me when I thought about Annette’s question, “What have you done with your loved one’s paperwork?” This picture shows survivors at one of the TAPS seminars, attending a workshop to create pages for a scrapbook about their loved ones. Perhaps each piece of paperwork could be mounted on a page with pictures or drawings pasted around it. Another insp
Spotlight on Service: Shaun Smithson Spotlight on Service: Shaun Smithson Spotlight on Service: Shaun Smithson TAPS “Freedom certainly is not free,” said Shaun Smithson, a longtime TAPS volunteer. “TAPS families know this better than anyone.”Years ago, when Shaun was serving in the U.S. Air Force, his appreciation for surviving families led him to join the team of TAPS volunteers. He joined the Air Force in 1998 after graduating early from high school and his first assignment was to the prestigious Air Force Honor Guard at Joint
Honoring Soldier's Legacy Drives Team TAPS Runner Honoring Soldier's Legacy Drives Team TAPS Runner Honoring Soldier's Legacy Drives Team TAPS Runner TAPS From the moment Cindy Grier heard about Team TAPS and the mission of TAPS, she knew she had to get involved. A couple of years ago, Cindy came across Team TAPS at the Disney Princess Half Marathon expo. “I just started crying,” Cindy said about learning about Team TAPS for the first time. "I was like ‘this is what I need to do." Cindy is no stranger to military life; her grandfathers were
An Easter Angelversary An Easter Angelversary An Easter Angelversary Allicia Johnson March 27 is Easter Sunday this year. To many it’s a day to reflect on the life of Christ and the miracle that occurred over two thousand years ago. For many others, it’s that beautiful time of year when Cadbury Mini Eggs grace the grocery store shelves. In general, it is a good time to focus on a new season of hope and new beginnings as flowers bloom and we look excitedly toward warmer days and summer fun. What is not to like about
BAE Systems continues tradition of corporate support BAE Systems continues tradition of corporate support BAE Systems continues tradition of corporate support \| TAPS TAPS Each Friday, please visit our blog and join us as we take a look back at stories, people and events that have shaped who we are today. We are a family of survivors honoring our selfless heroes who paid the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom. We are grieving parents, spouses, children, siblings, grandparents, fiancées, battle buddies and loved ones. We are hope. We are strengt
First TAPS Military Mentor of the Year Continues to Volunteer First TAPS Military Mentor of the Year Continues to Volunteer First TAPS Military Mentor of the Year Continues to Volunteer \| TAPS TAPS Each Friday, please visit our blog and join us as we take a look back at stories, people and events that have shaped who we are today. We are a family of survivors honoring our selfless heroes who paid the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom. We are grieving parents, spouses, children, siblings, grandparents, fiancées, battle buddies and loved ones. We are ho
Flashback Fridays: Sharing hope and love with a new generation of military children Sharing hope and love with a new generation of military children Sharing hope and love with a new generation of military children \| TAPS TAPS Each Friday, please visit our blog and join us as we take a look back at stories, people and events that have shaped who we are today. We are a family of survivors honoring our selfless heroes who paid the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom. We are grieving parents, spouses, children, siblings, grandparents, fiancées, battle buddies and loved ones. W
Saturday Morning Message: A Change of Purpose After Loved One's Death Saturday Morning Message: A Change of Purpose After Loved One's Death Saturday Morning Message: A Change of Purpose After Loved One's Death Carol Lane Good Morning, Our life is forever changed after the death of a loved one. This week's question was about doing things that honor our loved ones as our purpose in life changes. Jeanne, mother of Todd, sent this link to the "Open to Hope" radio show in which she was interviewed. Jeanne is an artist who has created many paintings including one s
Out of Tragedy Out of Tragedy Out of Tragedy Bonnie Carroll TAPS Created to Help Military Survivors Cope Almost 2000 service members make the ultimate sacrifice each year. Many die in sudden, violent, and often well-publicized events. And while conventional wisdom dictates that the newly bereaved not make any quick, dramatic, permanent decisions in the first year, the military survivor must face moving from base housing, and the men and women who lose a fellow servicemember must continue to fly, fight, and
Saturday Morning Message: Stress Reduction Strategies Saturday Morning Message: Stress Reduction Strategies Saturday Morning Message: Stress Reduction Strategies Carol Lane Good morning, The picture this week is from a TAPS seminar. I was inspired to use it by the suggestions given by several survivors this week. I had not thought about cooking as a way to manage stress, but you will read more in the Answers from Survivors section. TAPS is constantly working on events and programs to help survivors on their journey. As you read this, think a
Saturday Morning Message: A Sense of Accomplishment Saturday Morning Message: A Sense of Accomplishment Saturday Morning Message: A Sense of Accomplishment Carol Lane Good Morning, The picture this week is from Ginny, mother of Patrick. You will read about what she is doing later in the message. Since there were so many wonderful replies this week, I will keep my comments short. One thing that gives me a sense of accomplishment each week is seeing the Saturday Morning Message come to my mailbox. Then, I know you have all received it, too.
Happy Memories Happy Memories Happy Memories Elizabeth Rozier Yesterday, which seemed to be the first real HOT day of summer here in Houston (end of May), my parents and I stopped for a snow cone at a local haunt. It's been a favorite of ours for years, as close to a New Orleans snowball as you will get in Texas. As I stood in line, glistening in the summer heat as all real southern ladies do, my thoughts turned towards summers past with my brother and the many snow cones consumed in childhood. There a
The Spiritual Path to Healing, Part 2 The Spiritual Path to Healing, Part 2 The Spiritual Path to Healing, Part 2 Alan Wolfelt Editor’s Note: The death of a loved one challenges us in many areas including our religious and spiritual beliefs. While spirituality and religious tradition help many who are grieving, TAPS does not endorse any one spiritual belief or religion over another. This magazine may well be in your hands because someone you love has died. I am so very sorry for your loss. You have been “torn apart” and have s
Saturday Mornings Brightened by Sharing Memories Saturday Mornings Brightened by Sharing Memories Saturday Mornings Brightened by Sharing Memories \| TAPS TAPS “Oh, thank you Carol! That means so much. I love writing and it has helped immensely in this grieving process. I love having this outlet to share about my life with Preston, it’s very healing! So thank you guys for allowing me.” Carol Lane, TAPS Online Community and surviving mother of Marine Sergeant Bryon E. Lane That’s what one survivor said about the Saturday Morning Mes
Saturday Morning Message: Honoring Birthdays Saturday Morning Message: Honoring Birthdays Saturday Morning Message: Honoring Birthdays \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, Awhile back there was a discussion with a TAPS group about celebrating our loved one’s birthday and I thought it would be a good question for this weekly message. The responses this week came from those who answered that question. The quote at the beginning really speaks to our feelings about keeping our loved one’s memory alive. Sometimes after reading the Saturday Mo
The Second Year The Second Year The Second Year Janet Crane Facing the Reality The second anniversary date of my son's death was April 26, 2014. Another Gold Star Mother had told me the second year was worse than the first, and I didn't believe it. But it was true in many ways. Jason is buried several hours away from us, so we had made a special trip on the first anniversary of his death. I had known for several months that we would be going to his grave, and the stress and tension built each month i
Run and Remember: 2011 Team Long Gray Line Run and Remember: 2011 Team Long Gray Line Run and Remember: 2011 Team Long Gray Line TAPS “Running for TAPS was a tremendously rewarding experience for me. The chance to honor Captain Doug DiCenzo and his surviving family was an incredible privilege and responsibility. I was so inspired by what I experienced being a part of TAPS that I knew after I crossed the finish line I would have to do everything I could to expand Team Long Gray Line for 2011.” ~ Taylor Mosera, West Point cadet and Team
To Sleep or Not to Sleep, That is the Problem… To Sleep or Not to Sleep, That is the Problem… To Sleep or Not to Sleep, That is the Problem… TAPS Advice from TAPS Survivors For many of us, sleep patterns are disrupted after the death of a loved one, whether the trouble is lack of sleep or too much sleep. Sometimes we toss and turn, waiting for sleep to overtake us. Other times we waken suddenly in the middle of the night, heart racing and thoughts whirling. And sometimes we just want to pull the covers over our heads and ignore the
Living Legacies, Meaningful Healing Living Legacies, Meaningful Healing Living Legacies, Meaningful Healing \| TAPS Noriko Stern Dianne Layfield Katie Davis Write it Down By: Kristi Stolzenberg, Editor, TAPS Magazine Karl Porfirio, surviving father of SrA Tre Porfirio, U.S. Air Force, was not a writer by trade when he sat down to write My Daddy’s Heart is Purple, but his dedication to honoring veterans and preserving his son’s memory earned him the title of children’s book author in 2018. While stationed in Afghanistan, Tre
Loss to Learning to Leading Loss to Learning to Leading Loss to Learning to Leading \| TAPS Kenneth Naglak Surviving Father Finds Purpose Through TAPS Workshop When my son, Aviation Boatswain's Mate Aircraft Handler Joseph Naglak died in September 2018 during flight operations aboard the aircraft carrier USS George H.W. Bush (CVN 77), just two weeks and a few days after he had gotten engaged, I knew more than anything I needed help. It took some time to be open to the calls from TAPS, but when I did connect, I learned
Saturday Morning Message: Honoring Our Loved Ones Saturday Morning Message: Honoring Our Loved Ones Saturday Morning Message: Honoring Our Loved Ones Carol Lane Good Morning, This is a time many come together with friends and family to share holiday recipes and memories. For many survivors, it can also be a time of sadness. Contemplating what you might do to pay tribute to your loved one might can ease those feelings. Honoring your loved one can be on a traditional holiday or one that is special just to your family and friends. This week s
PGA Tour Superstore Brings TAPS Families Together PGA Tour Superstore Brings TAPS Families Together PGA Tour Superstore Brings TAPS Families Together \| TAPS TAPS Survivors Share Past and Present Memories at Special Golf Experiences In honor of Military Appreciation Month, teams4taps and the PGA TOUR Superstore joined forces to create events for survivors to honor their military loved ones through their favorite sport— golf! Survivors attended a wide range of events all across the country, where they attended PGA tournaments, got fit for new
Coping with Grief and Trauma and Loss: Home Base Reflections of Gratitude and Growth Coping with Grief and Trauma and Loss: Home Base Reflections of Gratitude and Growth Coping with Grief and Trauma and Loss: Home Base Reflections of Gratitude and Growth \| TAPS Katie Langer Carla Stumpf Patton Introduction by Dr. Carla Stumpf Patton, TAPS Senior Director of Postvention Programs At TAPS, we are privileged to witness the healing that so often comes with connections to our supportive resources, programming, and services. The postvention support offered by TAPS, especially, is
Saturday Morning Message Saturday Morning Message Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, The Saturday message started out as a weekly letter between a few friends that met at the TAPS National seminar over a Memorial Day many years ago. This week the Saturday message will be posted on the TAPS blog as well as the TAPS Online community, and in the TAPS peer group sites. The love and support that comes through being a part of the TAPS family is wonderful. The questions that are asked apply to all survivors
Sibling Survivors of Suicide Sibling Survivors of Suicide Sibling Survivors of Suicide Michelle Linn-Gust Sibling Surivors of Suicide Article This article first appeared on Legacy Connect, an online grief support community. For more information, articles, and resources, go to at www.connect.legacy.com. By Michelle Linn-Gust, PhD: Michelle Linn-Gust, PhD, is an international speaker and author on suicide prevention and postvention issues. A survivor of her younger sister's suicide, she is the author of Do They Have
Pain Inspired Purpose: Finding Meaning After Suicide Loss Pain Inspired Purpose: Finding Meaning After Suicide Loss Pain Inspired Purpose: Finding Meaning After Suicide Loss \| TAPS Kaylin Jennings-Knight I became widowed at the age of 27. At the time, I was five months pregnant and raising three young children. My late husband, Andre, was a disabled army veteran who suffered from PTSD and TBI. He lost his battle to PTSD on June 6, 2017. Many remember this date as D-Day. For my family, we remember this day as the day our world changed forever.
Letters From TAPS: From Survivor Care Team Letters From TAPS: From Survivor Care Team Letters From TAPS: From Survivor Care Team Sheri Beck Dear TAPS Family, As a child, I loved summer. Summer brought the promise of days spent boating on the Mississippi River and late nights playing softball and riding bikes. I never wanted the summer to end. As I grew older, I began to look forward to the arrival of autumn with all the changes it brought. And now I welcome the season with its crisp days and cold nights, autumn leaves turning beautif
The Choice to Forgive The Choice to Forgive The Choice to Forgive Linda Ambard Forgiveness is a choice that is hard fought for at times. It can be a daily choice that can vary based on the morning or time. The choice to forgive does not mean forgetting or restoration of trust in the situation of egregious harm, malice, or incident. It does mean letting go and letting God take care of what comes next. I fight to forgive and I will continue to do so even in the raging tumultuous sea. It did feel freeing to forgive s
Carry the Load in Honor of our Nation's Fallen Heroes Carry the Load in Honor of our Nation's Fallen Heroes Carry the Load in Honor of our Nation's Fallen Heroes \| TAPS TAPS “It has been an honor to walk with so many gold star families this year on our national relay. To carry their loved ones and share their stories is what makes partnering with TAPS so impactful. We magnify our missions.” ~ Debbie Wright, Executive Director of Carry The Load Phoenix, Arizona Carry The Load’s mission to restore the true meaning of Memorial Day wa
Gary Morris Celebrity Golf Invitational Gary Morris Celebrity Golf Invitational Gary Morris Celebrity Golf Invitational Christine Burtt Raises support for TAPS for a Fourth Year There is something magical that happens when hundreds of people volunteer their time and money to help others. This year was no exception when the fourth annual Celebrity Invitational for TAPS gifted more than $300,000 for the Good Grief Camps and Adult Survival Seminars. Event Directors Bo and Lynne Cottrell and celebrity host Gary Morris present
The Heroes Journey: Telling My Story The Heroes Journey: Telling My Story The Heroes Journey: Telling My Story \| TAPS Alexis Saizon-Cowley The following is an excerpt of Alexis' powerful story of suicide loss that she shared at The Heroes Journey storytelling workshop hosted at TAPS' National Headquarters in January. If you or someone you know is experiencing thoughts of suicide, you can contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline toll-free by dialing 988. If you lost a military or veteran loved one to suicide, you are not alone. TA
Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Remembrances Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Remembrances Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Remembrances \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, The picture came from the article "Out of Tragedy," written by Bonnie Carroll, surviving spouse of Brigadier Gen. Tom Carroll and founder of the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors that describes how this organization came to be. I thought it would be a good article to share in the Memorial Day edition of the Saturday Morning Message. On Memorial Day
Saturday Morning Message: What is Success? Saturday Morning Message: What is Success? Saturday Morning Message: What is Success? Carol Lane Good morning, This week’s question about how has your view of success changed since your loved one passed brought in a lot of thoughtful responses. After reading the reply by Bonnie Jo, mother of Andrew, I asked her to send a picture of something she has created. She sent this picture and I decided that it should be the opening one this week. I split her reply into two sections. The first was ab
Saturday Morning Message: Priority Changes That Celebrate the Life Saturday Morning Message: Priority Changes That Celebrate the Life Saturday Morning Message: Priority Changes That Celebrate the Life Carol Lane Good Morning, Many survivors look for something to celebrate the lives of their loved one that they might not have done or they shift the way they look at things after a loved one dies. Today we share some ideas that others have tried. Please feel free to try the ones that interest you. Going to an event that like a TAPS seminar or retreat woul
Join Team TAPS and help Carry the Load Join Team TAPS and help Carry the Load Join Team TAPS and help Carry the Load \| TAPS TAPS For many years Team TAPS and survivors across the country have participated in Carry the Load, a national relay to bring Americans together in honoring our nation’s heroes. What originally started as a Memorial Day event has grown into “Memorial May” — a month-long series of activities that kicks off today through Memorial Day, May 25, 2020. This year, we’re participating as an official no
Get Involved, Meet Your Peers in the TAPS Young Adults Program Get Involved, Meet Your Peers in the TAPS Young Adults Program Get Involved, Meet Your Peers in the TAPS Young Adults Program TAPS For military surviving children and siblings ages 18 to 30, the TAPS Young Adults Program focuses on 5 Pillars of Growth and Healing during your grief journey—personal development, career guidance, communications, financial stability, and service to others. Whether you are a TAPS Good Grief Camp graduate or new to our TAPS family, please know you have a place here
The Story Behind the Wheel of Aaron’s Car The Story Behind the Wheel of Aaron’s Car The Story Behind the Wheel of Aaron’s Car \| TAPS Jim Gennock My son, SPC Aaron J. Rathmann, U.S. Army 82nd Airborne, was stationed at Fort Liberty, North Carolina when he was taken from us in a motorcycle accident. Aaron had video-chatted me the day of his passing from a local car show to show me a truck he knew I would love. Moments after hanging up from that chat, Aaron was gone. Aaron grew up watching my friends and me build custom vehicles and h
Postvention and Posttraumatic Growth Postvention and Posttraumatic Growth Postvention and Posttraumatic Growth \| TAPS Carla Stumpf Patton Setting the Standard in Care following Suicide Loss TAPS has been caring for all those who have experienced the death of a military loved one since its inception in 1994, where outreach to survivors was established to offer support and resources to all, regardless of their relationship to the deceased or the manner of death. Always striving to enhance and expand services to meet the needs of
A Comforting Companion for the Journey A Comforting Companion for the Journey A Comforting Companion for the Journey \| TAPS Rachelle Ellis Sue Quackenbush TAPS Peer Mentor Program - Sharing Strength and Hope From Rachelle Ellis… Photo courtesy of Rachelle Ellis. I will never forget March 26, 2019. I received the news that my son, Jarrett, had passed away. Jarrett was such an amazing young man. He was loving, caring, funny, and compassionate. He had so much going for him and I just couldn't believe it. I was in shock.
How I learned to manage ambush moments by replotting my grief journey How I learned to manage 'ambush moments' by replotting my grief journey How I learned to manage “ambush moments” by replotting my grief journey \| TAPS Terri Jones September is National Suicide Prevention Month. This article is the third of five stories by TAPS suicide loss survivors who wish to share lessons learned from their grief journeys. We invite you to share this story using the hashtag #SurvivorSunday. If you know or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide, please call
Saturday Morning Message: New Ventures Saturday Morning Message: New Ventures Saturday Morning Message: New Ventures Carol Lane Good morning, After the initial pain of grief has lessened, many find that undertaking a new hobby or pastime can offer comfort. This week’s opening picture is from Caryn, mother of Nathan and spouse of Micheal, who writes later in the message about the art of crochet and how it has uplifted her. This week’s blog has many suggestions with ideas you might want to try. In addition to the responses that c
Saturday Morning Message: Comforting Suggestions from Survivors Saturday Morning Message: Comforting Suggestions from Survivors Saturday Morning Message: Comforting Suggestions from Survivors \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, Sometimes just listening, sharing memories and knowing someone cares like the two women in this picture is the most supportive thing to do when someone is grieving. My neighbor lost her husband a few weeks ago and I used some of the ideas in this message to hopefully give some comfort. I hope you will find some good ideas as well in t
Seven Years Since My Last Hug Seven Years Since My Last Hug Seven Years Since My Last Hug Charles Palmer December 20th marked seven years since I hugged my son Charles for the last time. I remember that day like it was yesterday. We went to visit Charles at Christmas time, before he was due to deploy. My wife and I were there for ten days. We had a great time meeting his friends and other Marines he worked with. I remember one day we went to a small place on base to watch football with his friends. Marines can be r
Gaining Strength on the Journey Gaining Strength on the Journey Survivor Father Finds Hope at TAPS Seminar - TAPS News Andy Weiss Remembering, Celebrating, and Sharing with TAPS My family attended the 19th Annual TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar last May. It was an inspiring weekend with our fellow travelers in loss. I marvel at how far this river has swept me downstream from where I first fell in, drowning in my grief. How far I’ve gone and how changed I am! I lost my son, Army First Lieutenant Danny Weiss, on M
Walk This Way: Therapeutic Walking as Healing Walk This Way: Therapeutic Walking as Healing Walk This Way: Therapeutic Walking as Healing Lalaine Estella Those of us who work in bereavement know there is no one way to grieve. Just as there are many forms of grief, there are as many ways to support the person who is grieving. Some people are really good at articulating their feelings and processing their emotions verbally. Some are not comfortable talking about what they are going through and may internalize their feelings. Others may
A Playlist for the Pandemic A Playlist for the Pandemic A Playlist for the Pandemic \| TAPS Grace Seamon-Lahiff Like most people under COVID lockdown, I am rediscovering things about myself that were buried under the stress of work, school and general adulting. One such thing is my love of a stress-induced dance party. As a kid, my dad was deployed a lot and when life became too much, my mom would announce that we needed a dance party. Cut to the two of us jumping around the living room while the B52’s blared through t
Run and Remember: A Win-Win Outcome Run and Remember: A Win-Win Outcome Run and Remember: A Win-Win Outcome Betsy Beard When I first came to TAPS in 2004, I just assumed that somehow the military or the government was paying for the services and resources that were made available to me at the time: the national toll free helpline, the Peer Support Network, a free lifetime subscription to TAPS Magazine, the interactive TAPS website, the online chats, and the national seminar with all its speakers and materials and bus transporta
Saturday Morning Message: Meaningful Objects Saturday Morning Message: Meaningful Objects Saturday Morning Message: Meaningful Objects \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, This week survivors wrote about items that celebrate the love they have for their special people. Some told about items that were worn by their loved ones while others wrote about objects they bought or were given to them by those who wanted to show their care. The picture comes from Charlene, mother of Devin. I thought you would enjoy reading why the picture sh
Saturday Morning Message: Special Memories Saturday Morning Message: Special Memories Saturday Morning Message: Special Memories Carol Lane Good morning, Sharing special memories about your loved one can be helpful for you, and it also allows others to get to know your cherished person. As you will see in the responses this week, there are a variety of ways to share those memories. Sometimes writing is good, but with technology, you can also use video or pictures if you find writing is too difficult right now. In that way, you can p
There’s Still Time to Put on Those Running Shoes for TAPS! There’s Still Time to Put on Those Running Shoes for TAPS! There’s Still Time to Put on Those Running Shoes for TAPS! \| TAPS TAPS The Team TAPS Virtual Fundraiser Campaign is going through December 31. The pandemic hasn’t stopped us from lacing up and running, jumping on our bikes, or hiking a trail as we honor our fallen military and raise funds to support the vital programs of TAPS. Get Involved You can still participate in our virtual campaign or make a resolution t
Vacationing Military Widow Finds Comfort and Therapy in Vacationing Therapeutic Effect of Vacations for Military Widows - TAPS News Sarah Greene I have felt the pull to visit places and take vacations that my husband talked about but never got the chance to visit. I want to visit these places for several reasons: to honor him, feel close to him, fulfill his vision of seeing the parts of the world, and see the world for myself. Alaska was highest on his destination wish list, so that will be a must. We us
Honoring a Service Member’s Ultimate Sacrifice Honoring a Service Member’s Ultimate Sacrifice Honoring a Service Member’s Ultimate Sacrifice Bonnie Carroll In this post on the New York Times At War blog, TAPS founder Bonnie Carroll discusses the many issues involved in memorializing our fallen military. Many surviving families are hurt when their loved one's service and sacrifice is not memorialized by a government, community or organization because of where or how their loved one died. Carroll writes on the blog: "Our nation honors ea
Saturday Morning Message: Special Places Shared with Loved Ones Saturday Morning Message: Special Places Shared with Loved Ones Saturday Morning Message: Special Places Shared with Loved Ones Carol Lane Good Morning, Survivors wrote this week about special places they shared with their loved ones. Several people talked about going to a particular location on the day such as a birthday when they celebrate the life of their loved one. Let us share ideas of what we have done or plan to do to commemorate that particular day, so the question for next week is:
Finding Your Inner Warrior Finding Your Inner Warrior Finding Your Inner Warrior Emily Munoz TAPS Launches 2016 Health and Wellness Initiative Visit www.taps.org/innerwarrior or email innerwarrior@taps.org to learn more about how to get involved. The pain of loss may make it difficult to find energy for anything other than half-hearted New Year’s resolutions. Too drained to go through the motions of identifying goals and possibilities, we never quite make it to the point of unwavering belief in what is yet to co
Best-Practice Suicide Postvention Model Provides Roadmap for Growth Best-Practice Suicide Postvention Model Provides Roadmap for Growth Best-Practice Suicide Postvention Model Provides Roadmap for Growth \| TAPS TAPS The TAPS Suicide Prevention and Postvention Program placed increased focus on its best-practice TAPS Suicide Postvention Model in 2019, building the 11th annual National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar around the three-phase model so that survivors in attendance could see a clearer path to their post-traumatic growth and defining themselves as m
Saturday Morning Message: What In Nature Reminds You Most Of Your Loved One? Saturday Morning Message: What In Nature Reminds You Most Of Your Loved One? What In Nature Reminds You Most Of Your Loved One? \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message TAPS Good Morning, Whether you lend a hand to a neighbor, volunteer at your favorite organization or give back to TAPS, we honor your service to others. We also acknowledge that taking care of ourselves, first and foremost, is important, if we are to be at our best when serving and supporting others. And, we recognize that having the
10 Things We Know to Be True about Suicide Loss 10 Things We Know to Be True about Suicide Loss 10 Things We Know to Be True about Suicide Loss \| TAPS TAPS Losing someone you love to suicide comes with complex grief. You might catch yourself asking why or what if or even wrestling with guilt, thinking you could have done something more — "If only I would have..." or "I should have known something was wrong." These questions, though raw and overwhelming — especially in grief — and processing these questions over time and with support can he
TAPS at the NFL Pro Bowl TAPS at the NFL Pro Bowl TAPS at the NFL Pro Bowl Christina Romero At this year’s NFL Pro Bowl, twenty families, including my children and myself were treated by teams4taps to a once in a lifetime experience. Initially, I was excited yet anxious. My children (Liam and Gracie) and I had only attended one other TAPS event. The seminar and Good Grief Camp had been so positive for us and I hoped this event would be as well. From the moment we landed in Orlando, TAPS military mentors and staff e
Saturday Morning Message: Thankful for TAPS Saturday Morning Message: Thankful for TAPS Saturday Morning Message: Thankful for TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, Because it is Thanksgiving weekend, this Saturday Morning Message features a list of resources TAPS provides that I am thankful for as a survivor. Since a list of all the programs would make this message too long, I've only included some of the programs, but you can learn about all TAPS programs at http://www.taps.org. The picture today is from the TAPS website showing a surviv
Reflections of Yesterday Reflections of Yesterday Reflections of Yesterday Bob Bagosy On September 23, 2013 I traveled to the UK with a group of TAPS parents, who just like me, had their son die in Iraq, Afghanistan, or at home. We went to the UK to meet and visit fellow parents who had their sons die in military service. On September 24, 2013 I arrived in London and took a taxi to our hotel, the Victory Service Club - a British Military Club built in 1907 in the heart of London. I spent some time with TAPS peop
Presidential Memorial Certificates Presidential Memorial Certificates Presidential Memorial Certificates Betsy Beard The Presidential Memorial Certificate (PMC) is a gold embossed certificate signed by the current President in memory of any honorably discharged deceased veteran. This includes any service member who died while serving honorably. Its purpose is simply to honor the memory of those who have served. The certificate bears the name of the veteran along with an inscription expressing the nation's gratitude and recogni
You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part Five You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part Five You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part Five \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt Editor's Note This is part five of a six-part series adapted from Dr. Alan Wolfelt's book, You're Not Crazy — You're Grieving. Parts one through four were published in the summer 2023, fall 2023, spring 2024, and summer 2024 issues of TAPS Magazine. In early grief, existential questions tend to naturally arise. Why did the person have to die? Why now? Why
Pure Gold Pure Gold Pure Gold Michele Hiester Marcum As a child, I loved the rambunctious revelry of Christmas, with its brilliant lights, mammoth toy catalogs, never-ending wish lists and long days of cookie baking and candy making. I loved the noise and commotion and the belief in Santa, who reigned in not only his reindeer, but over the whole world, it seemed. As an adult, however, I love the rich history and familiar traditions that accompany the Christmas season, begging my spirit to calm itse
Point of View: Congress needs to eliminate the Widow’s Tax Point of View: Congress needs to eliminate 'Widow’s Tax' Point of View: Congress needs to eliminate 'Widow’s Tax' \| TAPS Ashlynne Haycock-Lohmann This opinion piece was originally published in The Oklahoman on September 13, 2019. It is reprinted here with permission. The day my dad died was the worst day of my life. I was 10 when two officers in dress uniforms showed up at our door to tell us that a routine day of training had turned into our worst nightmare. It was April 12, 2002, and the
Getting Through the Tough Times Getting Through the Tough Times Getting Through the Tough Times Rachael Hill I had a really hard time deciding what I wanted to write this blog about and finally decided to just write about how I have been feeling. I haven't had the easiest past few weeks and while I don't want to be a "Debbie Downer," I do know that others have gone through this too and I think it's important to know we're not alone…not just in grief, but in life itself. This time of year is especially difficult for me.
Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Activities Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Activities Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Activities Carol Lane Good Morning, This past week, I attended the 23rd Annual TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp in the D.C. area. TAPS Seminars are a time of reflection and connection as we talk with other survivors who walk this journey with us. It is great to meet others in person who have been a part of the Online Community throughout the year. TAPS has given its website a
Volunteer Spotlight: Bethany Sutherland Jones Spotlight on Service: Bethany Sutherland Jones Spotlight on Service: Bethany Sutherland Jones \| TAPS Sharon Paz When Bethany Jones first volunteered with TAPS, it was crystal clear that service was a quality deeply ingrained in her identity. Bethany had the benefit of seeing service to country modeled by her parents growing up as an Air Force daughter. That service was echoed when later she became an Air Force wife and mother. Over the many years of moving from one duty assignme
Reaching New Heights with TAPS Reaching New Heights with TAPS Reaching New Heights with TAPS Christina Wilson TAPS College Experience Prepares Surviving Children for the Next Chapter Being a surviving TAPS child doesn’t just mean losing a parent; it means losing someone who was supposed to help guide you through life. When my father died when I was 6 years old, I thought I would miss him the most during big events, like graduation and birthdays. Instead, I’ve found that I notice my dad’s absence most in the smaller
Resource Center, TAPS Top Picks for Scholarships Resource Center, TAPS Top Picks for Scholarships Resource Center, TAPS Top Picks for Scholarships TAPS Now that school is back in session, it’s a good time to start planning for your future at college, whether you are a high school senior, surviving spouse, or young adult whose parent has died in military service. When applying for educational and financial resources, the large range of differing requirements and eligibilities can make the scholarship search a grueling process. Here at T
Small World, Big TAPS Family Small World, Big TAPS Family Small World, Big TAPS Family \| TAPS Jessica Kavanagh It’s funny how life happens. One minute you’re getting a phone call that your husband “didn’t make it,” and eight years later, you’re a widow wife to one of the most amazing humans. The world most certainly crashed down upon me that dreadful day — I’ll never forget it, or the moments that followed, or the spouse that once was (I know my TAPS Family can relate). I felt so lost for what felt like such a long time
His Big Race His Big Race His Big Race Shanette Booker Dre was an avid runner, he ran track all through high school, loved running for PT, and would run after work if he felt stressed. Running for him was more than just a great workout or a sport, it was a way of life. When Dre was a child, he watched his mother run in many marathons throughout their city. He was so proud of her and he told me her participation in marathons was part of his reason for wanting to run, because she never gave up and always ra
Saturday Morning Message: The Difference TAPS Has Made — Part 2 Saturday Morning Message: The Difference TAPS Has Made — Part 2 Saturday Morning Message: The Difference TAPS Has Made — Part 2 \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, This week, I am going to keep my comments short as there were several writers who have responded to the question about the difference TAPS has made in their lives. In addition to the Saturday Morning Message, there is also a monthly Writers’ Circle Newsletter that is published and goes out to those who sign up to receive it. It is for
The Richard Tree: Never Forgotten The Richard Tree: Never Forgotten The Richard Tree: Never Forgotten Ester Allgower Christmas 2010 came four short months after the death of my 29-year-old son, Cpl. Richard Allgower. As the holiday approached, neither my husband, daughter nor I could find any Christmas spirit. In fact, we wanted desperately to avoid the sadness we felt as everyone around us was wrapped up in holiday planning. We needed to get away from the pervasive joy in the air this time of year. What could we do to av
The Rewards of Mentoring Military Survivors The Rewards of Mentoring Military Survivors The Rewards of Mentoring Military Survivors \| TAPS Amber Loveless Noah Velazquez Kristin Cook In honor of National Mentoring Month, several of our mentors, TAPS Military Mentor Amber Loveless, TAPS Peer Mentor Noah Velazquez, and TAPS Peer Mentor Kristin Cook, have shared their mentoring story. To learn more about mentoring opportunities at TAPS, please refer to Peer Mentors and Military Mentors and Legacy Mentors pages.
Women’s Empowerment Retreats Help You Dig Deep, Make Friends and Press Onward Women’s Empowerment Retreats Help You Dig Deep, Make Friends and Press Onward Women’s Empowerment Retreats Help You Dig Deep, Make Friends and Press Onward \| TAPS Emily Munoz Erin Jacobson When a rock hits water, it’s the initial splash that gets our attention. It’s apparent that something in the world has shifted; something is no longer in the place it was. How similar this is to early grief — that cold initial shock, the feeling of sudden displacement. It can take a while to realize that m
Attending TAPS Events: Encouragement for the Newcomer Attending TAPS Events: Encouragement for the Newcomer Attending TAPS Events: Encouragement for the Newcomer TAPS When someone we love dies, the world as we once knew it no longer exists. We find ourselves on a journey we never expected or wanted to be on. We feel isolated and we wonder if others understand the pain we feel. Deciding to go to a TAPS event can be difficult for the new survivor. We question how we will fit in, how we will be treated, and what the event will be like. Here are the
Saturday Morning Message: How Do You Mark Special Days? Saturday Morning Message: How Do You Mark Special Days? How Do You Mark Special Days? \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good morning, This week we share some of the things we do to mark special days. Sometimes there are days that are just hard, but not just special occasions like an anniversary, birthday, holiday or angelversary. That is when we need to remember those special moments with our loved ones. The opening picture shows Lily, and her father, John, at Dunkin’ Donuts where t
Healing Your Grieving Heart Healing Your Grieving Heart Healing Your Grieving Heart \| TAPS Bonnie Carroll Alan Wolfelt Excerpt from book by Bonnie Carroll and Alan Wolfelt, Ph.D. The TAPS family is always reaching our arms to you. Whether at seminars, retreats, or virtually through our online resources, we understand the need to have the support of an understanding community as we navigate the grief journey. We share our grief, our memories and our daily experiences to build strength and hope. When we cannot be t
Photos: Veterans Affairs Secretary and Under Secretary for Benefits Visit TAPS Headquarters Veterans Affairs Secretary and Under Secretary for Benefits Visit TAPS Headquarters Veterans Affairs Secretary and Under Secretary for Benefits Visit TAPS Headquarters Photos TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (15 photos) taps advocacy, photos, department of Veterans Affairs Flickr Album Event Photos: VA Secretary Denis McDonough and the VA Under Secretary for Benefits, Josh Jacobs visit TAPS Headquarters
Photos: Team TAPS Army Ten Miler Team TAPS Army Ten Miler Army Ten Miler Photos \| Team TAPS TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (61 photos) Team Taps, Army Ten Miler, Photos Team TAPS Army Ten Miler Photos Flickr Album Event Photos: Team TAPS participate in the Army Ten Miler October 8, 2023.
Photos: Team TAPS Army Ten Miler Team TAPS Army Ten Miler Army Ten Miler \| Team TAPS TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (74 photos) Team Taps, Army Ten Miler, Photos Team TAPS Army Ten Miler Photos Flickr Album Event Photos, Team TAPS participate in the Army Ten Miler October 13, 2019
Photos: Team TAPS Army Ten Miler Team TAPS Army Ten Miler Army Ten Miler \| Team TAPS TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (113 photos) Team Taps, Army Ten Miler, Photos Team TAPS Army Ten Miler Photos Flickr Album Event Photos, Team TAPS participate in the Army Ten Miler October 7, 2018
Saturday Morning Message: Dreams Part 1 Saturday Morning Message: Dreams Part 1 Saturday Morning Message: Dreams Part 1 \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, Dreams not only come at night, but sometimes on a warm sunny day, we can be relaxing and fall into a gentle sleep, so that is why I chose this picture. The responders this week talk about a variety of times their loved ones came to them in a dream and the feelings around it. I know you will enjoy the replies that came in answer to this week’s question. Remember, you can write to
Photos: Suzanne Youngkin Visit Suzanne Youngkin Visit to TAPS Headquarters Suzanne Youngkin Visit to TAPS Headquarters TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (37 photos) taps headquarters, photos, honor the fallen Flickr Album Event Photos: First Lady of Virginia Suzanne Youngkin toured TAPS headquarters in Arlington, Virginia.
Saturday Morning Message: How Has TAPS Helped You? Saturday Morning Message: How Has TAPS Helped You? How Has TAPS Helped You? \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, Since today is Halloween, I thought it would be fun to share a picture from an article written by Marissa Donovan titled "Easy Fall Foods to Keep Your Spirits Up." In the article, there is a recipe for these Jack-O-Lantern stuffed peppers. The picture seemed perfect for today and hopefully put a smile on your face when you opened this week’s Saturday Morning Me
Finding Peace, One Piece at a Time Finding Peace, One Piece at a Time Finding Peace, One Piece at a Time \| TAPS Amy Tucci In life, we refer to our loved one’s possessions as their stuff and things. In death, they signify forever connections to cherished memories. – Rachel Kodanaz Rachel Kodanaz, whose husband, Rod, died suddenly when she was 31, knows of what she writes in her new and immensely helpful book, Finding Peace, One Piece at a Time. Kodanaz found intense meaning and intimacy in Rod’s belongings following his dea
Video: Flip the Script on Children's Grief Video: Flip the Script on Children's Grief Video: Flip the Script on Children's Grief \| TAPS TAPS Media Child Grief Awareness: One in 13 children by the time they are age 18, will experience the death of a parent or sibling. TAPS wants to flip the script on childhood grief. There is a myth in our society: out of sight, out of mind. By not engaging children in their grief, we leave them to grief alone. Engage children in your life that are grieving, check in with them, let them know you care a
Unity is What Makes Us Stronger Unity is What Makes Us Stronger Unity is What Makes Us Stronger Amy Dozier To My TAPS Family, We have had quite the journey together, haven't we? Thank you for being there for me in my darkest hours and in my brightest accomplishments. We have grown so much and found our way to accomplish things we never imagined. Yet, the world around us recently seems a sad and scary place. The discontent and lack of purpose in others, serves to remind me, yet again, how important it is to find my balanc
Team TAPS Participates in Windy25 Memorial 5K Team TAPS Participates in Windy25 Memorial 5K Team TAPS Participates in Windy25 Memorial 5K TAPS Our TAPS family extends our sincere condolences to the families whose loved ones died or were injured in the tragic shooting at Fort Hood, Texas. TAPS is actively helping the families of the victims. Our assistance and support will be unwavering. The TAPS Run and Remember Team participated in the 4th Annual Windy25 Memorial 5K on Saturday in Las Vegas, Nevada. The Windy25 Memorial 5K is ded
Beginning a New Memorial Day Tradition with TAPS Beginning a New Memorial Day Tradition with TAPS Beginning a New Memorial Day Tradition with TAPS Allicia Johnson I'm a D.C. girl … well … sort of. I was born at Bethesda Naval Hospital to a D.C.-native dad and transplant-from-Utah mom. My East Coast roots grow deep even though I only spent six months of my life there. Dad was stationed in Pearl Harbor when I was 6 months old and was shot and killed in action when I was 2 years old. From that point on, Utah has been my home. My front door
Bonds with the Deceased Don’t Have to End Bonds with the Deceased Don’t Have to End Bonds with the Deceased Don’t Have to End Gloria Horsley Heidi Horsley “Scott is dead!” These are the dreaded words that no parent or sibling should ever have to hear, words that irrevocably changed our lives forever. We heard these words in 1983, when Scott Horsley, our beloved son and brother, died in a fiery collision when the car in which he was a passenger hydroplaned and slammed into a bridge abutment. In an instant, Scott’s life was snuffed
Run and Remember: My Destiny Run and Remember: My Destiny Run and Remember: My Destiny Xiomara Hall A Journey from Arlington to Arlington I used to think life was an adventure. I had lived through so much in my few years... I experienced loss early in my life when my mother passed, but I still I believed it was the natural order of things: children bury their parents. As I reflect on that period I understand now that it was part of a master plan, one that I did not understand, one I could not control, one that would car
Miles for Kyle Miles for Kyle Miles for Kyle Maggie Osborn Running a marathon for some is a sport; for others a life accomplishment. Me? I run for Kyle. I run in his honor. I run because he can’t. I run to fulfill his goals and complete his bucket list. I run to carry on his memory and to ensure it inspires others as he did in his life on earth. Kyle was a loving, outgoing man who continually sought out new challenges. He was always an active person applying himself to new adventures: fishing, CrossFit,
Living to Honor the Dead Living to Honor the Dead Living to Honor the Dead Carol Lane For many of us it is hard to open our hearts when our loved one has given the ultimate sacrifice to our nation and we remain behind. Yet we still have all the love to give that we have shared through the years and it doesn’t stop with death. In the beginning, many of us can only try to get through each day and survive with the pain in our hearts that comes from such a great loss. Our hearts, out of necessity, close up as we try to
Peer Mentoring: The Next Step Peer Mentoring: The Next Step Peer Mentoring: The Next Step TAPS Have you ever wondered, “Where do I go from here?” I was there four years ago, 18 months after my oldest son, Joshua, died by suicide. “What am I supposed to do with the lessons I have learned along this journey?” I really wanted to find a way to honor his life of service, but I didn’t have to look too far. I was already connecting with other survivors through TAPS. Many of them, I spoke to on a regular basis. The TAPS Peer Men
5 Ways to Reconnect With Nature This Earth Day 5 Ways to Reconnect With Nature This Earth Day 5 Ways to Reconnect With Nature This Earth Day \| TAPS Rachel Hunsell Near sunrise this morning, I heard and then saw a few geese flying low across a neighbor’s farm, nearing a small pond. From the corner of my eye I caught two barn swallows tussling near our wisteria bush they’ve made their home. As I turned to walk towards the barn, a killdeer scurried across the field and dug deep for a wormy breakfast. Overhead, the wind whistled i
12 Years of Grief 12 Years of Grief 12 Years of Grief \| TAPS Kaitlyn Branson Editor’s note: Today is Children's Grief Awareness Day. Throughout this month, we are featuring stories from surviving children, grief professionals and TAPS staff to draw attention to the needs of grieving children, their experiences and how best to support them. This essay first appeared on the author's Facebook page. As many of you know, I lost my dad 12 years ago. I want to start by saying this post focuses completely on ON
Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Book Thoughts Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Book Thoughts Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Book Thoughts \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, The topic this week came from reading the article in the latest TAPS Magazine and on the TAPS blog about five books written by survivors. This got me thinking about writing a book to honor our loved ones and that became the subject for this week’s message. Some of the contributions are about books that have already been written or how the love of books was shared, w
Saturday Morning Message: Grieving Multiple Losses Saturday Morning Message: Grieving Multiple Losses Saturday Morning Message: Grieving Multiple Losses Carol Lane Good morning, Hugs are important when we are grieving. This week, survivor comments about multiple losses varied from feelings after experiencing multiple losses to some of the things they have done to keep anxiety at a distance. I hope you will find their responses like a big hug across the miles. One addition to this week’s message is an idea from Cheryl, mother of Jack. She
Running with the TAPS Family Running with the TAPS Family Running with the TAPS Family Regina Vitt When a family you know loses a spouse and a father, you want to do anything you can to make life easier for them. Sometimes, it can be difficult to find ways to help. Are you going to say or do something wrong? Are you going to be more of a burden than a help? Do they really want your help at the time? Other times, being able to help just comes naturally. I didn't give it a second thought when Rachael asked family and
Saturday Morning Message: What We Do with Our Loved One's Possessions? Saturday Morning Message: What We Do with Our Loved One's Possessions? Saturday Morning Message: What We Do with Our Loved One's Possessions? \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, The question about what we do with our loved one’s things is one I put in the Saturday Morning Message a few times a year since it frequently is a question asked by new survivors. In addition to the replies submitted by survivors, I’d like to share two articles from a TAPS Magazine that addresses this query. They were bo
He Lives He Lives He Lives Shanette Booker Dre died almost four years ago, and yet he still continues to live his life. I have always pondered and questioned the whole "life after death" theory, and after losing the love of my life to death, I couldn't help but to imagine how life after death was possible for Dre. I was on my way to meet with a friend who had stopped by to visit with Dre after attending a funeral in the same cemetery where he's buried. My friend had never met Dre, and didn't know a
To Resolution or Not to Resolution: Relaxing into the New Year To Resolution or Not to Resolution: Relaxing into the New Year To Resolution or Not to Resolution: Relaxing into the New Year \| TAPS Audri Beugelsdijk The new year is a time when we contemplate all the previous year has been and all the coming year could be. Perhaps we make resolutions, promising ourselves a change, anticipating growth, and hoping for something new - after all, it is the “new” year - shouldn’t it also be a “new” me? Whether we do this to ourselves, or others put this upon u
Saturday Morning Message: The Difference TAPS Has Made Saturday Morning Message: The Difference TAPS Has Made Saturday Morning Message: The Difference TAPS Has Made \| TAPS Carol Lane Editor's Note: This week, we are re-posting one of our most popular Saturday Morning Messages that originally was published on November 4, 2017. We hope some of our newer survivors can learn from others about how TAPS has helped them face the challenges of grief. Good morning, This week, I am going to keep my comments short as there were several writers who hav
Books to Help Your Child Books to Help Your Child Books to Help Your Child Andrea Hug When your child faces the death of a loved one, his or her primary support system is profoundly impacted. Your family must find new ways to communicate as you all move through the loss. Sharing your feelings and experiences is really important, and while a direct conversation is good, you may not get as much information as you’d like. You might get only brief answers without thoughtful consideration about how your child really feels
Saturday Morning Message: Displaying Our Folded Flags Saturday Morning Message: Displaying Our Folded Flags Saturday Morning Message: Displaying Our Folded Flags \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, This week there were so many varied responses that I am going to keep my comments short. Misti, mother of Ashton, sent this beautiful picture that she titled “Fallen Sailor American Flag” as her response to the question. I thought it would make a wonderful opening picture. Would you like to share a question or read how other survivors respond to a top
Faces of TAPS: Surviving Sister Ideliz Mora-Cruz’s Story Faces of TAPS: Surviving Sister Ideliz Mora-Cruz’s Story Faces of TAPS: Surviving Sister Ideliz Mora-Cruz’s Story \| TAPS TAPS Ideliz Mora-Cruz Faces of TAPS is a digital content series where, in their own words, survivors both celebrate the lives of their military loved ones and reflect on their personal grief journey. Ideliz Mora-Cruz is the surviving sister of Army SGT Geraldo Andre Mora Cruz, who died by suicide on March 15, 2015. Ideliz currently works as an Associate with the TAPS Surviv
Why I Run Why I Run Team TAPS Runner John Rhoten - TAPS News John Rhoten In high school, I ran to be the best, but stopped running competitively due to injuries in 2000. Now I run for a totally different reason. I started running road races again in 2012. This time, I wasn’t on a quest for the golden fleece but needed an outlet to honor Soldiers with whom I served. From the high school classmate who became a Marine, and a Ranger buddy with whom I spent 62 awesome days, to the Mogadishu Ranger mento
TAPS Community Resource Reports for Military Survivors TAPS Community Resource Reports for Military Survivors TAPS Community Resource Reports for Military Survivors Jessica Duane When a family loses a loved one in the Armed Forces, its members can feel isolated and too exhausted to research local support options. TAPS is always there to provide care and support, but we also recognize that sometimes the hugs need to come from closer to home – from friends, neighbors, and members of your local community. To help you connect locally, TAPS offers a C
5 Ways for the Bereaved to be Mindful 5 Ways for the Bereaved to be Mindful 5 Ways for the Bereaved to be Mindful \| TAPS Heather Stang The beginner classes at my meditation center fill up with people wanting to make a lifestyle change. They show up ready to ease anxiety, reduce stress, improve their health or to find a way to cope with grief. Research proves that mindfulness can help with any stress-related complaint. I get to witness first-hand how training your mind on the present moment with a calm, relaxed and compassionate
Photos: Land of the Free Veteran’s Golf Classic Hosted by Land of the Free Foundation 2023 Veteran’s Golf Classic Hosted by Land of the Free Foundation Photos \| TAPS TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (23 photos) taps fundraiser, land of the free golf classic, photos Flickr Album Event Photos: The 2023 Veteran’s Golf Classic honored TAPS as the prominent non-profit sponsored by the Land of the Free Foundation, Nov
Bringing Alex Home Bringing Alex Home Bringing Alex Home \| TAPS Donleigh Gaunky A Brother’s Loss During War I am a man. I am a brother. I am a combat veteran. And I am a sibling survivor. Nowadays, there are not that many of us who have survived going to war and, at the same time, lost a family member to that same war. In the 1940s there were more of us. A visit to the Arizona Memorial at Pearl Harbor will give you a great example of the magnitude of this reality in just a single event. More than 30 sets of si
Putting on My Oxygen Mask Putting on My Oxygen Mask Putting on My Oxygen Mask \| TAPS Don Lipstein A Father's Journey to Healing and Helping Others I believe we are faced with choices along our journey. Some of those choices can help us heal while others tend to slow our progress and deflate our hope of ever getting to a safe place in our journey. A common thread among the men with who I have come in contact is that we were raised to be the strong, stoic presence. We were encouraged to help everyone else before think
Nashville Songwriters Rock the House for TAPS Families Nashville Songwriters Rock the House for TAPS Families Nashville Songwriters Rock the House for TAPS Families \| TAPS TAPS Four of Nashville’s top songwriters performed in Colorado Springs as headliners for the Colorado Springs Celebrity Classic, a fundraising event for TAPS. The Classic was born 14 years ago in Denver. “There is nothing I wouldn’t do for Bonnie Carroll and TAPS,” said singer/songwriter Brett Jones. “These families deserve our country’s support and I am happy they asked me t
Photos: Team TAPS Marine Corps Marathon Team TAPS Marine Corps Marathon Marine Corps Marathon \| Team TAPS TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (68 photos) Team Taps, Marin Corps Marathon, Photos Flickr Album Event Photos, Team TAPS participate in the Marine Corps Marathon October 27, 2024
Photos: Team TAPS Marine Corps Marathon Team TAPS Marine Corps Marathon Marine Corps Marathon \| Team TAPS TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (86 photos) Team Taps, Marin Corps Marathon, Photos Flickr Album Event Photos, Team TAPS participate in the Marine Corps Marathon October 29, 2023
Photos: Team TAPS with Slam Team TAPS with SLAM Team TAPS with SLAM TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (26 photos) Team TAPS, Photos Team TAPS with SLAM Flickr Album Event Photos
Photos: Team TAPS Marine Corps Marathon Team TAPS Marine Corps Marathon Marine Corps Marathon \| Team TAPS TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (132 photos) Team Taps, Marin Corps Marathon, Photos Flickr Album Event Photos, Team TAPS participate in the Marine Corps Marathon October 27, 2019
Photos: Team TAPS Marine Corps Marathon Marine Corps Marathon Team TAPS at Marine Corps Marathon TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (266 photos) team taps, mcm, honor the fallen Team TAPS at Marine Corps Marathon Photos Flickr Album Event Photos, Team TAPS participates in the 2017 Marine Corps Marathon
Saturday Morning Message: Fall Plans Saturday Morning Message: Fall Plans Saturday Morning Message: Fall Plans \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, Last week we shared the article “Making Summer Memories” by surviving spouse Elizabeth Culp. In the article, she wrote, “Planning provides something positive to focus thoughts and energy on.” I’m sharing here a photo of a hydrangea bush, my favorite. One of the reasons I like it is that it provides a focus in my yard and it will keep its flowers into the winter. Then in the spring, I mu
Navigating Conversations around Grief and the Holidays Navigating Conversations around Grief and the Holidays Navigating Conversations around Grief and the Holidays \| TAPS Rachel Kodanaz Most conversations between two or more people are casual and engaged to exchange ideas, thoughts, or emotions. In most cases, discussions are straightforward and timely– based on current events, shared experiences, or future planning. However, navigating, and often tiptoeing, around conversations during the holiday season is essential to remain conscientious of t
Stronger than she thought she could be: A widow looks back Stronger than she thought she could be: A widow looks back Stronger than she thought she could be: A widow looks back \| TAPS TAPS Each Friday, please visit our blog and join us as we take a look back at stories, people and events that have shaped who we are today. We are a family of survivors honoring our selfless heroes who paid the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom. We are grieving parents, spouses, children, siblings, grandparents, fiancées, battle buddies and loved ones. We are hope. We
Saturday Morning Message: Practicing Self Care Saturday Morning Message: Practicing Self Care Saturday Morning Message: Practicing Self Care \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, Often while grieving we care for others in our friends/family circle, but it is really important to take a bit of time each day to do something we enjoy. One thing that lifts my spirits is to sit and talk with a friend like these survivors are doing at a TAPS seminar. That is why I like attending TAPS events. There I meet other survivors and form friendships. When I a
5 Tips Surviving Military Families Need to Know as They Prepare for College 5 Tips Surviving Military Families Need to Know as They Prepare for College 5 Tips Surviving Military Families Need to Know as They Prepare for College \| TAPS Ashlynne Haycock-Lohmann In 2002, I lost my dad while he was training to deploy to Iraq. I was 10 years old. College was the last thing on my mind, and it was not high on my mother's priority list either. Years later, as I opened the mailbox and pulled out “the big envelope” from American University, I knew my dad would have been obnox
Saturday Morning Message: Honoring Our Loved Ones Saturday Morning Message: Honoring Our Loved Ones TAPS Saturday Morning Message: Honoring Our Loved Ones Carol Lane Good Morning, The picture this week is the card that Carmen, mother of Charles wrote about later in the message. I thought it was so special that it deserved to be the first thing people saw when they opened this week’s Saturday Morning Message. Survivors shared the many different ways they they honor their loved ones. I thought I would add mine as well. This Saturday Morning M
Team TAPS: Battle Buddies Team TAPS: Battle Buddies Team TAPS: Battle Buddies TAPS TAPS provides support for anyone affected by the death of a service member, and that includes the battle buddies who trained and served with our loved ones. Not only are these service members TAPS survivors themselves, but many of them become runners and fundraisers on the Run and Remember Team as well. Sometimes they meet the family of their close friend who died. Often they are able to share stories of the one who died. Always they we
Kicking Off Our 21st Year - TAPS 2015 Winter in Review Kicking Off Our 21st Year - TAPS 2015 Winter in Review Kicking Off Our 21st Year - TAPS 2015 Winter in Review TAPS Happy March, America’s Family. We are thinking spring here as much as possible in D.C. after the latest ice storm. It has been a cold winter here, but there’s been so much to warm our hearts this past month as the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) geared up for our twenty-first year of caring for the families of America’s fallen heroes. Our staff has put toget
Letters from TAPS: From the Run and Remember Team Letters from TAPS: From the Run and Remember Team Letters from TAPS: From the Run and Remember Team Marie Campbell Dear TAPS Family, In Texas, we have really hot summers! Despite the heat, I enjoy the many wonderful things summer has to offer: ice cream, the pool, the beach, my birthday, my parents’ anniversary, and cookouts with family, and the Fourth of July. But I didn’t always find summer so enjoyable. On June 25, 1996, my husband Sergeant Dee "Soup" Campbell was killed in the Khobar
Compassion for All Compassion for All Compassion for All Heather Stang If grief is the cold, dark winter, then compassion is the spring. Out of the pain of loss comes the recognition that we are all in this together, and we need each other to make it from one season to the next. Fortunately, there is no shortage of compassion within the TAPS family. Strangers who have never met connect with one another wholeheartedly. United in the shared human experience of profound loss, we offer each other kind words, big
Children’s Bereavement and Emotional Wellness, Part 1 Children’s Bereavement and Emotional Wellness, Part 1 Children’s Bereavement and Emotional Wellness, Part 1 Andrea Hug I vividly remember when my husband died. My children were four, two, and four months old. I hardly knew how to be a parent, let alone a sole parent to bereaved children. I remember going to see a counselor and saying, “What do I need to know to help these children grow up to be happy, healthy, productive members of society?” Now, 18 years later, I offer to you what I have gle
Breaking Away from Loneliness Breaking Away from Loneliness Breaking Away from Loneliness \| TAPS Emily Munoz Grief is inherently about interrupted connection. We are separated from someone we love. Loneliness, then, is logical. I just didn’t expect it to show up, years after the searing had turned to scarring. When it did, it was because, in my early grief, I leaned so much into the hope that the universe still held joy and purpose for me, that eventually this would all make sense. But loneliness showed up, clutching
Memorial Day brings a mix of emotions Memorial Day brings a mix of emotions Memorial Day brings a mix of emotions \| TAPS Rachael Hill Memorial Day used to be simply a three-day weekend that our family spent doing some kind of adventure — camping, 4-wheeling, barbecuing, etc. Since becoming a Gold Star family however, the meaning of the day has changed dramatically. The true meaning of the day is now etched into our minds and brings with it sorrow and tears, but also pride in remembrance. Since my husband Jeff’s de
Volunteer Spotlight: Surviving Military Parents Advocate for Fellow Survivors Volunteer Spotlight: Surviving Military Parents Advocate for Fellow Survivors Surviving Military Parents Advocate for Fellow Survivors \| TAPS TAPS For three and a half years, the Chicagoland community has had Andy and Julianne Weiss holding the tender hands of those in grief. Together, they facilitate the Chicago-area TAPS Care Group, a monthly support group for those who know the loss of someone who has served in the military. The couple are Peer Mentors and have trained in ASIST, Applied
Coping with Guilt Coping with Guilt Coping with Guilt Michele Hiester Marcum We are coming up on the ten-year anniversary of my brother's death, and I simply cannot believe it's been that long. Seriously, where did the time go? And who the heck am I now? A decade of rolling emotions have reshaped me into someone else…and I haven't yet decided whether I like her. I remember learning in my college psychology classes that there were only six basic emotions in the human population: anger, disgust, sadness, fear,
Happy Birthday Dear Brother, Happy Bir... Happy Birthday Dear Brother, Happy Bir... Happy Birthday Dear Brother, Happy Bir... Michele Hiester Marcum Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday, dear brother! Happy Bir… Oh wait. Am I supposed to be celebrating your birthday? Do the angels throw parties in heaven like we do on Earth? Is anyone up there worrying whether the cake is white or chocolate? Or if the frosting is buttercream or whipped? Hmmm… the multitude of questions one ponders when there are no
Game Day for Dad Game Day for Dad Game Day for Dad Tabitha Bonilla The first professional football game I was able to attend was bittersweet. My initial reaction to the news my mother and I had been selected to attend the Carolina Panthers Salute to Service game was sadness actually; the person I most wanted to experience a live professional football game with, was my father. It was something we were going to finally have the time to do when he retired. Unfortunately, just as he was coming home from deployme
Saturday Morning Message: 4th of July Ideas Saturday Morning Message: 4th of July Ideas Saturday Morning Message: 4th of July Ideas \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, The picture this week comes from the TAPS files. I thought it would be perfect for the 4th of July edition of the Saturday Morning Message as it has a very large US flag flown by a balloon with the TAPS inscription showing the strong connection between TAPS and our country. The 4th of July is another one of those holidays that can bring different emotions to various peopl
Saturday Morning Message: Marking Special Days Saturday Morning Message: Marking Special Days Saturday Morning Message: Marking Special Days \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, As the November and December holidays come along, I thought I would share this article from the fall TAPS Magazine that made me think of the family we have become. In the article, "The Critical Importance of Seeking Support", the author, Alan Wolfelt, lists his observations of Canadian geese as they fly many miles to their winter destination. Then he relates his thoug
Saturday Morning Message: Volunteer Work Helps Healing Saturday Morning Message: Volunteer Work Helps Healing Volunteer Work Helps Healing \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, The opening picture comes from the article, "Survivors Fill Community Need for Face Mask" written by Susie Ristau, mother of Michael. She tells how survivors spend time making and sending masks for anyone in need. Her daughter makes hair scrunchies as well. At the end of the article, Susie writes, “I know our Michael is looking down on me and Halie and
TAPS Casework Assistance Available to Military Families of the Fallen Affected by Natural Disasters TAPS Casework Assistance Available to Military Families of the Fallen Affected by Natural Disasters TAPS Casework Assistance Available to Military Families of the Fallen Affected by Natural Disasters TAPS For everyone who has endured nature's worst effects, our thoughts are with you. Your TAPS Family is here if you need to speak to someone for extra support and care. We want to do all we can to lessen the added strain on our families. Our Care Team and Casework Department stand ready to deliv
Care within Your Community Care within Your Community Care within Your Community \| TAPS TAPS In addition to peer support and services that TAPS provides, we also connect you to grief resources close to home. Upon request, TAPS provides a detailed report of support within your community. We do research and make the phone calls to ensure the available groups are an appropriate fit for you. We find out if groups are actively meeting, when the next meeting will be and what you can expect the first time you go. Photo: Pe
Why Rituals Help Us Mourn…and Heal Why Rituals Help Us Mourn…and Heal Why Rituals Help Us Mourn…and Heal \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt I often say that when words are inadequate, we should turn to ritual. Nowhere is this more true or important than after someone we love has died. In this article, I will explain why rituals are essential and how you can continue to use the power of ritual to help yourself and your family heal, even long after the death and funeral. What is a ritual? Rituals are symbolic activities that help us, toget
You are Warmly Welcome to Join Us on Memorial Day Weekend 2019 You are Warmly Welcome to Join Us on Memorial Day Weekend 2019 Join us on Memorial Day Weekend 2019 \| TAPS TAPS Just as the stars brighten the night, our TAPS family brings light into the darkness of grief. At the 25th Annual TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp, we’ll focus on the light of the love we have shared and continue to share. We’ll look more deeply into our own processes, reflect on our strengths, learn how we can give and accept support, and contemplate how
Saturday Morning Message: New Traditions Saturday Morning Message: New Traditions Saturday Morning Message: New Traditions Carol Lane Good Morning, The picture this morning is of an arrangement made by my sister-in-law to celebrate the season. I light it every night during the holidays to honor the life of my son, Bryon. When a loved one dies, it can be hard to face the upcoming time and keep the same traditions. To simplify your life, think about the customs you would like to keep and ones you could let go just for this year. You
Karndean DesignFlooring Raises Money for TAPS Karndean DesignFlooring Raises Money for TAPS Karndean DesignFlooring Raises Money for TAPS TAPS At its 8th annual customer appreciation golf outing, held January 29 at Las Vegas’ Siena Golf Club, Karndean Designflooring and its top partners hit the links and raised a total of $3,300 for the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS). This is the fourth year the event has included a fundraiser to support a veterans service organization. TAPS offers immediate and long-term emotional he
More Than Trains: A Surviving Sibling’s Story More Than Trains: A Surviving Sibling’s Story More Than Trains: A Surviving Sibling’s Story \| TAPS Kat Stanley I first came to TAPS as a surviving sibling in 2010 after my brother and best friend, Cpl Richard Allgower, USMC, passed away after a fearless battle with brain cancer. I remembered anxiously awaiting the TAPS Magazine for articles from siblings. They seemed to put words to the feelings and thoughts swirling around that I couldn’t quite express. I read plenty of articles that shared
Grief and Your Health Grief and Your Health Grief and Your Health Margaret Gerner The loss of a loved one to death is a life-shattering experience. It affects us physically as well as emotionally. The grief we experience is felt on an emotional level, and the stress of these emotions can create havoc with our bodies. If we had a physical illness before our loved one died, our grief can exacerbate the existing illness. It can also open the way for physical illness if we have been previously healthy. Grief makes
Stop, Look, Listen Stop, Look, Listen Stop, Look, Listen Darcie Sims When was the last time you did nothing? Do you ever just sit anymore? Do you ever just lie on your back in new mown grass and watch the clouds dance by? Do you ever chase after butterflies, trying to give them a message to carry? Or dangle your toes in a pond or watch kids dash through a sprinkler? Do you ever sit on a porch or patio and smell the grass, the flowers, the air? Do you even have a porch or patio and do you know what sitting
Online TAPS Events Online TAPS Events Online TAPS Events \| TAPS TAPS Find Comfort and Healing Online The TAPS Online Community is here for you – wherever you are in your grief journey, the country, or the world. The recently updated TAPS Online Community allows you to explore all of our online programs – including online groups, workshops, and coping skills programs – in one place. Through online sessions, connect with, learn from, and be inspired by fellow survivors. Finding your peers within the TAP
Resource Center: Casework Partnership Resource Center: Casework Partnership Resource Center: Casework Partnership TAPS Pro Bono Legal Assistance The TAPS Casework Department is proud to be available for our TAPS family members, supporting them on a wide variety of topics and issues. This support ranges from assistance with DoD/VA benefit eligibility questions and requests for records, medals, and investigations, to education on survivor benefits and seeking local, regional, and national support for matters like financial assista
Happy Birthday, America! Happy Birthday, America! Happy Birthday, America! TAPS Happy Birthday, America! 239 years ago, our Founding Fathers set a new, unchartered course for us. It is one that has required hard work and sacrifice of so many throughout the centuries. In declaring our independence, we declared we would do whatever it takes, as long as it takes, to ensure that same right for the generations to come. The founders signed their name to a document that concluded, "And for the support of this Declaration, w
Rucking Through Grief Rucking Through Grief Gregory T. Jacobs, Surviving Father of Army SPC David M. Jacobs Hoisting my REI pack onto my back, I feel every bit of the 42 pounds inside. The seams hold together, resilient against the strain. I once again say hello to David as I start my three-mile ruck at the cemetery where he is buried. He doesn’t audibly return the gesture, but I know he is there with me. It is almost as if he winks at me each time, acknowledging, “Dad, I see you have my backpack on again, and I
Create a lasting visual legacy with the Veterans History Project Create a lasting visual legacy with the Veterans History Project Create a lasting visual legacy with the Veterans History Project \| TAPS Kerry Ward Each Memorial Day our nation remembers and honors the men and women who made the ultimate sacrifice for their country. May we never forget that all gave some, and some gave all to preserve this country. As our nation reflects on the costs of freedom, those who lost someone have an opportunity to come together and share the stories of their heroes.
Destination Discovery: Exploring the Unexpected Destination Discovery: Exploring the Unexpected Destination Discovery: Exploring the Unexpected Michele Hiester Marcum I am a planner. A calendar-toting, pen-in-hand, master of the daily grind. Phone apps? Electronic devices? Social networking reminders? Nope, none for me, thank you. I like the old-fashioned, whole month-at-a-glance paper variety with a small space in which to write each day’s activities. Last minute addition? No sweat. A squiggly arrow and a different color ink allow that mo
Sharing Love One Mask at a Time Sharing Love One Mask at a Time Sharing Love One Mask at a Time \| TAPS Terri Jones Photo courtesy of Terri Jones. You see face masks everywhere these days. What used to be reserved for the medical community has become commonplace in our daily lives. And as we often see when a challenge arises, our nation has sprung into action to help fill a need. Companies that had normal production halted due to the coronavirus started making masks. And in homes across America, sewing machines be
teams4taps Marks Second Anniversary teams4taps Marks Second Anniversary teams4taps Marks Second Anniversary TAPS The teams4taps program celebrated its two-year anniversary in November. The occasion set in motion an exciting end-of-year schedule of team engagements. Across America, survivors and their heroes were honored both on and off the playing field. And the momentum continues - in 2016, teams4taps is poised to expand relationships with professional sports teams. With each interaction, more dreams come true for TAPS famil
Healing Through Writing Healing Through Writing Healing Through Writing Artis Henderson When my husband CW2 Miles Henderson was killed in Iraq in November 2006, I felt like I had lost everything. Miles was my best friend, my teammate, the reason I got up every morning. Without him, I couldn't imagine a future. Or any future I wanted to be part of. After months of a grief so blinding I could barely function, I realized with great sadness that my life was still going, even without Miles. I started to understand that
Photos: stars4taps SEAL Team Premiere stars4taps SEAL Team Premiere in Los Angeles stars4taps SEAL Team Premiere \| TAPS TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (9 photos) stars4taps, photos, military survivor Flickr Album Event Photos: TAPS Families attended the SEAL Team Premiere in Los Angeles, California February 25, 2020