Share Your Story

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Faces of TAPS Submission

: Survivor Submission Form Faces of TAPS Faces of TAPS Faces of TAPS is a new, digital content series where survivors who lost a military loved one, in their own words, both celebrate the lives of their heroes and reflect on their personal grief journey. These stories are shared in both video and writing across the TAPS social media platforms and on the TAPS blog. If considered, you will be asked to conduct a short, on-camera interview and share 10 to 20 photos of you and your loved one. The TA

Faces of TAPS Thank You

: Survivor Submission Form Faces of TAPS Faces of TAPS is a new, digital content series where survivors who lost a military loved one, in their own words, both celebrate the lives of their heroes and reflect on their personal grief journey. These stories are shared in both video and writing across the TAPS social media platforms and on the TAPS blog. If considered, you will be asked to conduct a short, on-camera interview and share 10 to 20 photos of you and your loved one. The TAPS Communicat

'TAPStoo' Tells the Story of the Families Left Behind

'TAPStoo' Tells the Story of the Families Left Behind 'TAPStoo' Tells the Story of the Families Left Behind | TAPS Kevin Penn “If what you’re doing requires no sacrifice, then you can do more.” That’s a phrase I heard once and it really stuck with me. And more than that, it guides, if not provoke, most decisions I make on a daily basis. I ask myself frequently if what I’m about to do is going to improve the lives of others, especially of those I care about most. And there are few in this worl

The Heroes Journey: Telling My Story

The Heroes Journey: Telling My Story The Heroes Journey: Telling My Story | TAPS Alexis Saizon-Cowley The following is an excerpt of Alexis' powerful story of suicide loss that she shared at The Heroes Journey storytelling workshop hosted at TAPS' National Headquarters in January. If you or someone you know is experiencing thoughts of suicide, you can contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline toll-free by dialing 988. If you lost a military or veteran loved one to suicide, you are not alone. TA

Week 7: My Story, The Legacy

Week 7: My Story, The Legacy | TAPS Youth Summer Program Week 7 Week 7: My Story, The Legacy online summer program for kids, military child, grief Connect with other TAPS kids and mentors during Week 7 of the free virtual TAPS Good Grief and Family Camp at Home August 17 to 21, 2020.

Sharing Your Story

Sharing Your Story Sharing Your Story | TAPS Rachel Hunsell I am the story I tell myself, and so are you.  We are, like the books we read, a series of chapters bound together by our values, our experiences, our choices and our sense of self. When people we love die, it can feel like the pages we’d set aside for those chapters in our lives have been rewritten, but not by our own pen. It’s as if these pages were drafted without our choice, without our storytelling.  But as we come together in

Dragonflies: A Surviving Mother’s Connection To Her Son

Dragonflies: A Surviving Mother’s Connection To Her Son Dragonflies: A Surviving Mother’s Connection To Her Son | TAPS Ruth Wiley Those who knew my son Jim understood that no matter what, you were going to get a story out of him. To this day, people will tell me that Jim, an attorney for the U.S. government and the U.S. Army, was legendary for his stories.   After Jim’s death, we flew into North Bend Airport and went directly to Holy Redeemer Catholic Church for his funeral mass. Before I le

Birthdays

Birthdays Birthdays Elizabeth Rozier Birthdays have never been particularly difficult for me.  I have a happy life.  I realize with each year that I have grown into someone different than I was last year.  Life brings changes and changes bring character.  So as I age, I am grateful that I am not the same person I was the year before.  However, every so often I have a moment during my birthday month that I recognize that someone I love isn't getting older with me.  His face in all my picture

P.S. I’ve Got a Big Secret

P.S. I’ve Got a Big Secret A Military Widow's Secret - TAPS News Linda Ambard I’ve got a big secret and soon the world will know it. The person involved will know it, but to understand the magnitude of these unspoken words, one must reflect on the past. A little more than five years ago, everything I knew about my life imploded with the assassination of my Phil. We had been married for more than 23 years and the only dreams I had revolved around growing old and dying together one day far away

Sharing Your Story: Healing Through The Media

Sharing Your Story: Healing Through The Media Sharing Your Story: Healing Through The Media Kelly Griffith When three Marines came to my door the morning of Dec. 14, 2011, I had never felt so alone even though I was immediately surrounded by people. Then came the phone calls and inquiries for interviews from journalists. It was jarring. I wanted to hide away somewhere, but the world wanted to watch me grieve. A journalist by trade, I was used to questions - from the other side of the notep

What Shall We Tell Them?

What Shall We Tell Them? What Shall We Tell Them? Deborah Robinson A letter to my family and friends Dear Ones, As I reflect on the eight months, six days, and fifteen hours since my son Brian’s death, it is confusing to figure out where I stand in this grief trip that I hate. “Hate” is not a nice or feel-good word, but it is how I see this loss and feel it in the pit in my stomach. It would seem that at least this empty stomach pit would reflect a thinner me, but I think that as I try

Write On: How Sharing Your Story with TAPS Can Bring Healing to You and Fellow Survivors

Write On: How Sharing Your Story with TAPS Can Bring Healing to You and Fellow Survivors Write On: How Sharing Your Story with TAPS Can Bring Healing to You and Fellow Survivors | TAPS TAPS "[Storytelling] is, in and of itself, a coping skill we can use to heal our hearts." ~ Rachel Hunsell, surviving sister of U.S. Marine Corps Lance Corporal J. Kyle Price, and TAPS Program Manager, Outdoor Engagement Losing a loved one requires facing a full spectrum of emotions, some familiar, some o

I Came, I Saw, I Healed

I Came, I Saw, I Healed I Came, I Saw, I Healed Shanette Booker This year was my first time attending the TAPS Suicide Survivor Seminar, and it is an experience like no other. I found that in the midst of being surrounded by so many that I am not a lone survivor...that my story of survival is not the only one. It was so nice to meet so many surviving friends and family members of our loved ones, which to me was step one to healing and coping. I came to San Diego with an open mind, beca

Share Your TAPS Friendsgiving Story Thank You

Share Your TAPS Friendsgiving Story Thank You Thank Your for Sharing Your TAPS Friendsgiving Story The TAPS Communications team is excited to tell the story of TAPS Friendsgiving, thank you for sharing your experience! The content shared here may appear on the @tapsorg social media channels (Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn) or on our Our Stories blog. A TAPS Communications staff member will reach out to you before sharing on any of our media platforms. Email communications@tap

Introducing Michele Marcum

Introducing Michele Marcum Introducing Michele Marcum Michele Hiester Marcum I am Michele.  And I am a survivor.  My story mirrors that of every other TAPS survivor.  The plot is the same, the ending ultimately identical, the tone oppressing.  And there is no "happily ever after." Someone I love died, and I'm writing my way through the grief and tears in the hope that healing sneaks its way in. I became a bona fide TAPS card-carrying member after my brother, MSGT Michael T. Hiester, encoun

Introducing Bunnie Jacquay

Introducing Bunnie Jacquay Introducing Bunnie Jacquay Bunnie Jacquay Welcome to my journey: a world of choice and change that constantly collides with the desire to just curl up in a ball and hide while I cry. I have met some extraordinary people along the way, and I also have been blessed to have the support and understanding from an amazing group of friends. There have been a constant few, affectionately named the Cody Comfort Club, who have been with me for every step of the journey and we

Memories of Childhood Fun With Beloved Brother

Memories of Childhood Fun With Beloved Brother Memories of Childhood Fun With Beloved Brother | TAPS Lauren Griffin As a surviving sibling, I can never be sure the right way to “celebrate” Siblings Day. If I post a picture alongside my friends on social media, does the reminder that I lost Andy take away from the light-heartedness of the day? If I do not post a photo, am I missing the opportunity to remind people of the incredible person my twin brother was? It is easy to feel jealous or

My Father’s Voice

My Father’s Voice My Father’s Voice Lois La Pointe Kiely I never heard my father’s voice. There were photographs of him, and I know his handwriting from letters he wrote to my mother. But I always wondered how he sounded. Did his voice reflect the French Canadian dialect of his parents? Or did it have a masculine North Jersey sound to it? Was he soft spoken or a deep baritone? He died in World War II when I was just an infant, and I will never know. Louis La Pointe, my father, enlisted twic

Cold Hands, Warm Hearts

Cold Hands, Warm Hearts Cold Hands, Warm Hearts Kelly Griffith Moving Forward Through Retreats Sitting on the plane from Seattle to Anchorage, my heart was a mix of emotions. I was headed for the TAPS siblings retreat in beautiful Alaska in February 2013. Seeing the start of the Iditarod was something I had always dreamed of experiencing, but never thought would actually happen. Like a lot of my dreams to travel the world, I thought it was out of my reach. When it was mentioned that the T

My Unexpected Journey into the Healing Arms of TAPS

My Unexpected Journey into the Healing Arms of TAPS My Unexpected Journey into the Healing Arms of TAPS Bridget Singletary-Goodwin TAPS is a community of survivors.  Some of us have lost loved ones on the battlefield, others to long-term illness.  Some TAPS survivors, like me, have lost someone they loved in tragic accidents.  My children and I are somewhat unusual as TAPS survivors, for not only have we suffered through the sudden and untimely death of my husband, we also survived the same c

Surviving Suicide Loss: One Mother’s Story

Surviving Suicide Loss: One Mother’s Story Surviving Suicide Loss: One Mother’s Story | TAPS Ava Henrickson The Night That Life Changed It was September 10, 2020. The pandemic was still affecting everyday life across the globe. I was lying in bed, half-asleep, when I thought I heard noises downstairs — like someone was knocking at the door. It was close to midnight, so I thought I must've been imagining it. I tuned it out, chalking it up to the neighbors being noisy. Shortly after I put it

Saturday Morning Message: The Difference TAPS Has Made

Saturday Morning Message: The Difference TAPS Has Made Saturday Morning Message: The Difference TAPS Has Made | TAPS Carol Lane Editor's Note: This week, we are re-posting one of our most popular Saturday Morning Messages that originally was published on November 4, 2017. We hope some of our newer survivors can learn from others about how TAPS has helped them face the challenges of grief. Good morning, This week, I am going to keep my comments short as there were several writers who hav

A Mother’s Journey Through Writing

A Mother’s Journey Through Writing A Mother’s Journey Through Writing | TAPS Margaret Thomson My son, Pfc. Kieran James Thomson, took his life on August 28, 2010, three months before he was due to deploy to Afghanistan for the first time. Kieran was 22 years old at the time with a wife and a 2-year-old daughter.  Despite being overwhelmed by grief, after several months I hesitantly began writing about my older son. I say hesitantly because I wasn’t at all sure whether formulating words and p

TAPS Press Releases

TAPS Press Releases Press Releases Title 2025 Press Releases 2024 Press Releases 2023 Press Releases 2022 Press Releases 2021 Press Releases 2020 Press Releases 2019 Press Releases 2018 Press Releases 2017 Press Releases 2016 Press Releases taps media room TAPS works with national and local news media to tell the story of the surviving military family.

TAPS at the NFL Pro Bowl

TAPS at the NFL Pro Bowl TAPS at the NFL Pro Bowl Christina Romero At this year’s NFL Pro Bowl, twenty families, including my children and myself were treated by teams4taps to a once in a lifetime experience. Initially, I was excited yet anxious. My children (Liam and Gracie) and I had only attended one other TAPS event. The seminar and Good Grief Camp had been so positive for us and I hoped this event would be as well.  From the moment we landed in Orlando, TAPS military mentors and staff e

Suicide Survivor Voice

Suicide Survivor Voice Suicide Survivor Voice Kim Ruocco I thought my life was over when my husband, Marine Corp Major John Ruocco took his own life. The thought of going on and raising my two young sons by myself was overwhelming. I could not imagine how I was going to get myself through it, let alone my boys. I felt alone, confused and isolated. I knew that no one would understand what I was feeling. I didn't know anyone that experienced this kind of loss.   I felt ashamed and confused,

The Journey of Hope Never Ends

The Journey of Hope Never Ends The Journey of Hope Never Ends Linda Ambard I am surprised at how much grief feels like fear. Nothing has felt the same since April 27, 2011. I spent my entire adult life following Phil around the world. First, I lived in his shadow and then the shadow of my children. Don't get me wrong, I loved being the glue that held our family together. I was the positive cheerleader standing behind my family. It was a comfortable role that I never saw ending. Living in t

Share your Friendsgiving Story

Share your Friendsgiving Story | TAPS Share Your Friendsgiving Story Share Your TAPS Friendsgiving Story The TAPS Communications team is excited to tell the story of TAPS Friendsgiving, but we can't do that without your help. If you are hosting or will be taking part in a TAPS Friendsgiving celebration, we'd love to hear about it! Please use the form below to share photos, video, and thoughts from your Friendsgiving event. The content shared here may appear on the @tapsorg social media channel

Please Say Their Name: The Importance of Honoring and Remembering

Please Say Their Name: The Importance of Honoring and Remembering Please Say Their Name: The Importance of Honoring and Remembering | TAPS Pamela Gabbay My father, Jerry Henry, was in the Army for my entire childhood. We lived all over the United States and in Germany. I really enjoyed being part of the larger military community. After he retired from the Army, he became a long-distance truck driver who drove an 18-wheeler. Late one night, he crashed his big rig on one of his many runs and di

Saturday Morning Message: The Difference TAPS Has Made — Part 2

Saturday Morning Message: The Difference TAPS Has Made — Part 2 Saturday Morning Message: The Difference TAPS Has Made — Part 2 | TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, This week, I am going to keep my comments short as there were several writers who have responded to the question about the difference TAPS has made in their lives. In addition to the Saturday Morning Message, there is also a monthly Writers’ Circle Newsletter that is published and goes out to those who sign up to receive it. It is for

Godwinks: To The Stars

Godwinks: To The Stars Godwinks: To The Stars | TAPS Davina French The rain beat down, creating puddles on the road that could throw your vehicle around a bit. The passenger window went down again. This time about four inches, I rolled it up and told Scout to quit messing with me. As soon as I got the passenger window back up, my driver’s window started to go up and down erratically. Then it went down and stayed down. Doing 60 mph, drenched by the sideways rain now inside my vehicle, I turned

Reflection of the National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar

Reflection of the National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar Reflection of the National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar Peggy Scallorn Upon arriving at the Colorado Springs, Colorado airport for the National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar, I felt a great deal of anxiety and excitement all at the same time. I wasn't really sure what to expect or how I would feel at this event. Once I arrived at the Cheyenne Mountain Resort, I was greeted by hotel staff with smiles adorning their faces. Th

Grief is a Path Best Shared

Grief is a Path Best Shared Grief is a Path Best Shared | TAPS Perry Monroe   We are all different in how our grief journeys unfold; and for me, my turning point came 13 years after the death of my son, U.S. Army Sergeant Christopher Taylor Monroe. For many years, I had held my emotions inside, with no one knowing of the losses I had suffered. Seeing how grief had affected those around me, I did my best to be the solid rock holding things together for everyone else. As a father, I w

Finding My Faith

Finding My Faith Finding My Faith Rachael Hill I don’t normally write about my faithin my blog but something hit me recently that I just have to share. This past month my boys and I went to visit some friends out of state. Not just any friends, but my FLO (Family Liaison Officer) and his wife who we have become extremely close with since my husband’s death 27 months ago. I had known Daniel for many years before hebecame my FLO and he had worked very closely with my husband Jeff on numerous o

Making a Difference in the Lives of TAPS Children

Making a Difference in the Lives of TAPS Children Making a Difference in the Lives of TAPS Children Amanda Gonzalez In the summer of 2012, I received an email from my chain of command requesting volunteers for the TAPS Fort Hood Good Grief Camp Out. The event sparked my interest, and I quickly wanted to learn more about TAPS. Once I read about their mission and how they provide support to the families of our fallen military, I instantly knew I wanted to be a volunteer with the organization.

Something Borrowed, Something Blue

Something Borrowed, Something Blue Something Borrowed, Something Blue | TAPS Kat Stanley Ester Allgower A wedding is a bittersweet event when the bride and her family are still grieving the loss of one person whose presence at the wedding is critical. As my family prepared for my nuptials to my boyfriend of six years, we were missing one important person, my brother and only sibling, Corporal Richard Allgower, USMC. I was so devastated at the loss of my brother that I often wondered if I would

Forgiveness

Forgiveness Forgiveness Elizabeth Rozier Growing up I often heard the stories of Jim and Elisabeth Elliot, Christian missionaries to the Huaorani tribe, an unreached people group in Ecuador. The Elliots and other friends, including a man named Nate Saint, had begun to reach out to the Huaorani tribe by dropping gifts from an airplane.  The day they attempted a face to face meeting, some members of the tribe killed the group of men. I found Rachel Saint's story the most compelling after wa

Hope Is the Companion that Helps Us Believe in Tomorrow

Hope Is the Companion that Helps Us Believe in Tomorrow Hope Is the Companion that Helps Us Believe in Tomorrow | TAPS Renee Nickell I was about seven days into our state’s stay-at-home orders for COVID-19, when I awoke from a night’s dream. It went something like this: It was dusk at the high school my brother and I attended. The parking lot was packed with cars. My parents and I had wondered where my brother, Sam, had gone. It’s one of those weird dreams where you are your current age in th

A Journal For Jordan: Exclusively in Movie Theaters this Christmas

A Journal For Jordan: Exclusively in Movie Theaters this Christmas A Journal For Jordan: Exclusively in Movie Theaters this Christmas | TAPS TAPS Based on Dana Canedy’s bestselling memoir, A Journal for Jordan follows the true story of U.S. Army First Sergeant Charles Monroe King, Canedy’s fiancée. Before being killed in action while deployed in Baghdad, Iraq, King writes a journal for their son intended to tell him how to live a decent life despite growing up without a father. A TAP

Saturday Morning Message: Dreams Part 1

Saturday Morning Message: Dreams Part 1 Saturday Morning Message: Dreams Part 1 | TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, Dreams not only come at night, but sometimes on a warm sunny day, we can be relaxing and fall into a gentle sleep, so that is why I chose this picture. The responders this week talk about a variety of times their loved ones came to them in a dream and the feelings around it. I know you will enjoy the replies that came in answer to this week’s question. Remember, you can write to

The Story Behind the Wheel of Aaron’s Car

The Story Behind the Wheel of Aaron’s Car The Story Behind the Wheel of Aaron’s Car | TAPS Jim Gennock My son, SPC Aaron J. Rathmann, U.S. Army 82nd Airborne, was stationed at Fort Liberty, North Carolina when he was taken from us in a motorcycle accident. Aaron had video-chatted me the day of his passing from a local car show to show me a truck he knew I would love. Moments after hanging up from that chat, Aaron was gone.  Aaron grew up watching my friends and me build custom vehicles and h

Faces of TAPS: Surviving Spouse Sheri Lipscomb’s Story

Faces of TAPS: Surviving Spouse Sheri Lipscomb’s Story Faces of TAPS: Surviving Spouse Sheri Lipscomb’s Story | TAPS TAPS Sheri Lipscomb Faces of TAPS is a new series where, in their own words, survivors both celebrate the lives of their military loved ones and reflect on their personal grief journey.  Sheri Lipscomb is the surviving spouse of United States Army Sergeant First Class Ricardo Lipscomb, who died on July 19, 2004, while stationed at Fort Gordon, Georgia. The couple has two sons,

The Choice

The Choice The Choice Linda Ambard For the past five years, I have learned to survive and to make it through the darkest nights. I have come to trust my decisions and discovered happiness through running, work, school, and the all too rare visits with my adult children. It a dull and predictable life that didn’t allow for dreams to creep in or for the wash of agony to take over. I closed myself off to any possibility of a life beyond that flat one dimensional plane. At 49, the spunky, warm, a

Walking Together Through Our Grief

Walking Together Through Our Grief Walking Together Through Our Grief Jennifer Keeling The definition of “mentor” is “a trusted counselor or guide.” The word that stands out to me the most is “trusted.” When going through a tragedy, we are often spoken to with cliches and half truths to make us feel better, such as, “They are better off where they are now. You are young.  You will find someone new and move on.”  Someone may say, “Just put on a happy face, and soon you will get over this.” Whi

Ready to Mentor – Ready to Heal

Ready to Mentor – Ready to Heal Ready to Mentor – Ready to Heal | TAPS Cella Logan Finding Purpose through Helping Others At a 2019 regional seminar in Jacksonville, Florida, I became a TAPS Peer Mentor. I felt ready to help guide other survivors through their journey of loss, heartbreak, unknowns and the life of widowhood. At that time, I was only 5 months into my new career as a Military Spouse Advocate with the state of Florida. I work with active duty spouses helping them find their purp

Saturday Morning Message: Jewelry Options, Part 2

Saturday Morning Message: Jewelry Options, Part 2 Saturday Morning Message: Jewelry Options, Part 2 Carol Lane Good Morning, The question about jewelry brought in so many responses that there needed to be a second Saturday Message devoted to them. This week, I thought I would add what I do with jewelry. The picture is the heart locket that I wear every day. Inside is my son, Bryon's, boot camp picture. When I go to TAPS or military events, I wear other pins as well. However, the heart is alw

Veterans Day Message from a Gold Star Son

Veterans Day Message from a Gold Star Son Veterans Day Message from a Gold Star Son | TAPS Nathaniel Lee I am Major Nathaniel Lee, United States Space Force, and I am also the Gold Star son of U.S. Army Captain Donnie Lee.  My dad was killed in an aviation accident in 1997, when I was seven years old. After he died, we moved from Texas where we had been stationed to California where my mom was from, losing our connection to the military community we had known and loved. It was during that ti

Companioning is about learning from others; it is not about teaching them

Companioning is about learning from others; it is not about teaching them Companioning is about learning from others; it is not about teaching them Alan Wolfelt “Allow stories to be told without slipping into interpretations, analysis, and conclusions.” — Thomas Moore When I attended graduate school in traditional psychology, I learned semantics such as assess, diagnose and treat. In large part, I was taught to study a body of knowledge surrounding mental health, assume expert status as a p

Coping with Grief and Trauma and Loss: Home Base Reflections of Gratitude and Growth

Coping with Grief and Trauma and Loss: Home Base Reflections of Gratitude and Growth Coping with Grief and Trauma and Loss: Home Base Reflections of Gratitude and Growth | TAPS Katie Langer Carla Stumpf Patton Introduction by Dr. Carla Stumpf Patton, TAPS Senior Director of Postvention Programs At TAPS, we are privileged to witness the healing that so often comes with connections to our supportive resources, programming, and services. The postvention support offered by TAPS, especially, is

I Thought I Knew Grief... TAPS Has Set a New Course for My Future

I Thought I Knew Grief... TAPS Has Set a New Course for My Future I Thought I Knew Grief... TAPS Has Set a New Course for My Future | TAPS John Wellington Huss II I don’t need to learn about grief– I am living grief. The overwhelming waves of sorrow and raging undertows of fear pull me out to sea. When the waves rise, I can pop my head up and gasp for air, sometimes for an extended time. But, the waves inevitably crash. They spin me head over heels and drag me down. The riptides continue, wav

One Year Later: Reflecting on the U.S. Withdrawal from Afghanistan

One Year Later: Reflecting on the U.S. Withdrawal from Afghanistan One Year Later: Reflecting on the U.S. Withdrawal from Afghanistan | TAPS Kelly McHugh-Stewart I was 36-weeks pregnant with my son when CNN reached out to me for an interview. Like many in August 2021, I had watched with a heavy heart as U.S. troops withdrew from Afghanistan and the Taliban took over Kabul. In 2010, my father, U.S. Army Colonel John McHugh, was killed on those same streets that I was watching on my TV screen.

Off the Hook: Permission to Heal

Off the Hook: Permission to Heal Off the Hook: Permission to Heal Chris Daniel May 2015 was looking up. Life was taking shape after a long period of turmoil. I had a new apartment and vehicle. I made it through the first year of co-parenting after divorce. Set to start work again as a contractor, I also prepared to start a leadership role in my church’s young adult ministry. To top it all off, I was building a deeper relationship with my two sons, Jaxon (4) and Tray (19). May was good. The

The Stigma of Suicide

The Stigma of Suicide The Stigma of Suicide Don Lipstein March 14, 2011, I knew a handful of people who had died by suicide.  I could probably count on 2 hands the number of people I knew who had struggled with the grief that comes with a suicide loss.  That all began to change the very next day.  The day I lost my 23 year old son to the demons in his brain.  The day my education on suicide began. There isn't a lot I remember in the early days of my mourning!  I do remember trying to tell

Seven Years Since My Last Hug

Seven Years Since My Last Hug Seven Years Since My Last Hug Charles Palmer December 20th marked seven years since I hugged my son Charles for the last time. I remember that day like it was yesterday. We went to visit Charles at Christmas time, before he was due to deploy.  My wife and I were there for ten days.  We had a great time meeting his friends and other Marines he worked with.  I remember one day we went to a small place on base to watch football with his friends.  Marines can be r

Self Care

Self Care Self Care Leslie McCaddon Reconnecting…with myself One of the things I heard early on at TAPS, as well as from my counselor at home, is the importance of self-care. I’m a mother of three young children. Whenever this term “self-care” is thrown around in my presence I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. Photo Courtesy of Leslie McCaddon Take care of myself? Sure! I try to shower, most days. I eat well…well, at least when I eat the kid’s leftovers! I sleep. Sure, I sleep!

TAPS Suicide Survivor Seminar

TAPS Suicide Survivor Seminar TAPS Suicide Survivor Seminar TAPS A place of healing and support  Reprinted with permission from TIME Magazine’s Battleland Blog.  Rebecca Morrison is one of two widows TIME Magazine featured in its July cover story on the surge in Army suicides.   My New Family Thursday morning I bounced out of bed early and yelled “Oh my gosh!” I never get up on time and certainly never bounce. But this morning I knew that I would be headed to California for the TAPS sem

Christmas Without Chris

Christmas Without Chris Christmas Without Chris | TAPS Ami Neiberger-Miller My brother, Army Specialist Christopher Neiberger, was killed in action in Iraq in 2007 at age 22. The last time we saw him was at Christmastime when he came home from Iraq on leave eight years ago. All of the last photos of our family together and the last times we spent together were at the holidays. Photo coutesy of Dr. Richard Neiberger After his death, the holidays became very painful. We were always the kind o

Real Men Do Cry

Real Men Do Cry Real Men Do Cry Jon Ganues Always the alpha male, I was used to denying myself any show of weakness. I had to show strength, control and the ability to fix anything with a roll of duct tape. But I learned duct tape can’t fix some things – like a broken heart or family relationships when there are differences in grief expression. I lost my son, Airman 1st Class Jon Wesley Ganues, Jr., on June 2, 2009, to suicide, five days before his squadron deployed to Iraq. He was a secur

Saturday Morning Message: Jewelry Options

Saturday Morning Message: Jewelry Options Saturday Morning Message: Jewelry Options Carol Lane Good Morning, There were so many good ideas that came in about the wearing and placement of jewelry in the home that there will be two weeks on this topic.  Let's broaden the subject this week to allow for other ideas on the display of these special items. The question for this week is: Do you wear commemorative jewelry or other attire or do you have a special place for them in your home? Sharing i

Professional and personal grief education at conference

Professional — and personal — grief education at conference Professional and personal grief education at conference | TAPS Karissa Kelley Once a year, the “giants” in the field of thanatology gather in one place for a whirlwind experience of education, networking and collaboration. Last week, I had the honor of representing TAPS at the 41st ADEC Conference in Atlanta, Georgia. The Association for Death Education and Counseling is the leading organization in thanatology, the study of death. AD

A Godwink in Denver

A Godwink in Denver A Godwink in Denver | TAPS Robert Bisterfeldt On April 1, 2023, my son, Joseph, had a brain biopsy surgery for his brain tumor, at UCHealth University of Colorado Hospital in Aurora, Colorado. It was a stressful time for my family. Joseph’s last brain biopsy surgery — back in 2013 — came with many post-surgery complications, and we hoped for a better experience this time.  My wife, Amy, had just arrived back at the hospital to switch out with me — there was only one perso

Finding The Sparkle Again

Finding The Sparkle Again Finding The Sparkle Again Rachael Hill Every year for Mother's Day I put together a photo book with pictures of my boys and myself from the past year. I give the book to my mom, my mother-in-law, and keep one for myself as well. As I work on the current year's book, I always seem to look through past books to get ideas as to how I have put them together, and as I reviewed our older books this year something caught my eye that I had never noticed before.  The first

An Unexpected Transformation

An Unexpected Transformation An Unexpected Transformation TAPS Since Army Capt. Joe Quenga began volunteering with TAPS in May 2016, he has recorded nearly 130 hours during 11 events, ranging from mentoring youth at the National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp to service projects at the TAPS headquarters office. Whether he’s packaging TAPS Christmas ornaments or spending time with his two-time mentee, Joe’s commitment to both surviving military families and the TAPS mission is

I'm Not Angry

I'm Not Angry I'm Not Angry Michele Hiester Marcum I’m not angry.  And that makes me mad.   If you’re confused by that, then that makes two of us!  Let me explain… During the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, I’d been especially mindful this year of the gamut of emotions existing among those crossing my path each day.  There are driven shoppers, eager to snatch up deals with the tenacity of pit bulls, leaving nothing but empty shelves and harsh words in their wake.  There are the sw

Moments Captured Forever: Behind the Lens for TAPS

Moments Captured Forever: Behind the Lens for TAPS Moments Captured Forever: Behind the Lens for TAPS Paige Williams Lenzy Ruffin has been a volunteer with TAPS since the 2016 National Military Survivor Seminar. He took amazing photos during the weekend event to capture the meaning and connection of the TAPS family. Since then, he also covered the Army Ten-Miler in October for Team TAPS. Before becoming a professional photographer, Lenzy served as a lieutenant in the U.S. Army. TAPS is so gra

Saturday Morning Message: Supporting Others in Grief

Saturday Morning Message: Supporting Others in Grief Saturday Morning Message: Supporting Others in Grief Carol Lane Good Morning, When someone you know experiences the death of a loved one, words just don't seem enough. Finding ways to help others who are grieving can be easier when you think of the support others gave you. Thanks to the survivors who wrote this week as they reflected on what was meaningful to them and used those memories to generate hints on best ways to reach out when som

To Watch or Not To Watch

To Watch or Not To Watch To Watch or Not To Watch Kelly Griffith That is the Question Sitting in the darkened, crowded theater, I realized I had made a mistake. Why hadn’t I picked the cutesy cartoon movie about dancing penguins? Why did I choose to resort to emotional cutting? No. I would be fine. But I looked beside me and saw the looks on my family's faces and knew I had made a big mistake. It was just a few short months after Sammy's death on December 14, and we sat in a room f

Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Memories, Big and Small

Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Memories, Big and Small Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Memories, Big and Small | TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, The opening picture today was sent by Samantha, fiancé of Preston. I thought it was a great way to open today’s Saturday Morning Message because they look like they are having a great time. Read more about Preston below. I will keep my comments short, so you will have time to read the many memories that have been shared.  Remember, you

A Father’s Promise

A Father’s Promise A Father’s Promise | TAPS Robert Gilbert "Brimfield Fire F-82 to RMH on the HEAR frequency, I'm en route 'hot' to your location with a 34-year-old female, full-term second pregnancy, with contractions less than five minutes apart, and my ETA is less than four minutes to your ER!" That was my radio transmission as I raced Robert’s mom, Catherine, to Robinson Memorial Hospital (RMH), as an EMT-I and firefighter. Upon arrival, the RMH Police parked my vehicle; Catherine was r

Rock On

Rock On Rock On Michele Hiester Marcum When I was about three years old, I received a diminutive barrel-back rocker for Christmas from my aunt and uncle. Secured against the bottom runner was a little music box that would play a tinny melody with each forward motion. And when I rocked back, the music stopped. I don’t remember what my brother received that year, but I’m certain it paled in comparison to the significance of my gift. I loved that little chair, and when I left home to start my ow

TAPS In the News

TAPS In the News In the News Title 2025 In the News 2024 In the News 2023 In the News 2022 In the News 2021 In the News 2020 In the News 2019 In the News 2018 In the News 2017 In the News gold star family, miltary survivor TAPS works with national and local news media to tell the story of the surviving military family. We welcome anyone who is grieving the death of someone who died in the military.

Manage My Events

My Memory Scarf: Remembering all of the First Days

My Memory Scarf: Remembering all of the First Days My Memory Scarf: Remembering all of the First Days | TAPS Lydia Burgdorf At my son Carl’s visitation, my friend Robin handed me a book and said, “Just a little something I’ve had set aside for you.” I tucked it in my bag and walked over to greet a new arrival. After the internment service and before another appointment, I opened her gift the next day. Titled “Knit the Sky,” the book was designed to encourage creativity. Its first project sugg

Knowledge. Connection. Hope.

Knowledge. Connection. Hope. The Journey of a Surviving Spouse and Her Daughters Through Illness Loss The Journey of a Surviving Spouse and Her Daughters Through Illness Loss | TAPS Robyn Thomson Lieutenant Colonel Todd Thomson   Lt. Col. Todd Thomson proudly served his country for 20 and a half years. The love he had for being a soldier made him get up in the morning; it made his wheels turn. As a logistics officer, he spent time on various posts in the U.S., South Korea, and Ira

Living to Honor the Dead

Living to Honor the Dead Living to Honor the Dead Carol Lane For many of us it is hard to open our hearts when our loved one has given the ultimate sacrifice to our nation and we remain behind. Yet we still have all the love to give that we have shared through the years and it doesn’t stop with death. In the beginning, many of us can only try to get through each day and survive with the pain in our hearts that comes from such a great loss. Our hearts, out of necessity, close up as we try to

The Answers

The Answers The Answers Bob Bagosy When my son Tommy completed suicide the day after Mother's Day in 2010, he ended his life and in the process changed a lot of other people's futures. People who complete suicide may believe they are doing everyone a favor by ending their misery, but in their need to end their pain they can't see the consequences.   On May 10, 2010 Tommy changed my life and the lives of Iris (his mother), Katie (his wife), Nathan (his son), Avery (his daughter) in addition to

Finding Hope Amid Devastating Loss: A Military Widow Who Lost her Marine to Suicide Shares Her Story

Finding Hope Amid Devastating Loss: A Military Widow Who Lost her Marine to Suicide Shares Her Story Finding Hope Amid Devastating Loss: A Military Widow Who Lost her Marine to Suicide Shares Her Story Kim Ruocco My name is Kim Ruocco and I am the widow of United States Marine Major John Ruocco, who died by suicide at age 40 in 2005. John was an incredible husband, son, father to our two boys, and Marine. He was dedicated and passionate in everything he did. John joined the Marines in 198

Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Events

Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Events Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Events Carol Lane Good morning, I wanted to share one of my favorite areas at the 23rd Annual TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp, which was where I was for Memorial Day weekend. This is a picture of the TAPS Family Tree. Survivors were encouraged to take a paper leaf and write a message to their loved one. There was a sticky back to the leaf, and the survivors could place it next to

Saturday Morning Message: Treating Ourselves

Saturday Morning Message: Treating Ourselves Saturday Morning Message: Treating Ourselves | TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, For many of us the past holidays have been stressful, so the first question of 2018 is not about resolutions that can bring on more uneasiness but rather the things we do to treat ourselves. The picture today is of myself and friends at last year’s TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar. This is the treat that I look forward to each year. It is a chance to get together a

Finding New Perspective on Holiday Traditions When You’re Grieving

Finding New Perspective on Holiday Traditions When You’re Grieving Finding New Perspective on Holiday Traditions When You’re Grieving | TAPS Kim Ruocco As the holidays approach I am flooded with memories of Christmases filled with laughter, love and special family togetherness. My husband John always took the holidays seriously, and his enthusiasm was infectious. One of my favorite memories is from when the children were little, maybe 3 and 5 years old. We couldn’t get the boys to sleep, a

October 22, 2019

October 22, 2019 TAPS Statement for the Record | TAPS News Advocacy Proprietary Footer October 22, 2019 - TAPS Statement for the Record Before the Committee on Veterans’ Affairs, United States House of Representatives The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) is the national nonprofit organization providing compassionate care for the families of America’s fallen military heroes. TAPS provides peer-based emotional support, grief and trauma resources, grief seminars and retreats for

Honor and Healing on the Diamond

teams4taps: Honor and Healing on the Diamond Honor and Healing on the Diamond | TAPS TAPS Baseball –– Our National Pastime Over the years we’ve cheered for our favorite teams and players. we have worn jerseys, t-shirts and caps to show our spirit and pride. baseball brings to mind cherished memories shared with friends and family. Since the inception of teams4taps in 2013, the teams, players, coaches, and fans of Major League Baseball have welcomed hundreds of TAPS families at ballparks acr

Happy Memories

Happy Memories Happy Memories Elizabeth Rozier Yesterday, which seemed to be the first real HOT day of summer here in Houston (end of May), my parents and I stopped for a snow cone at a local haunt. It's been a favorite of ours for years, as close to a New Orleans snowball as you will get in Texas.  As I stood in line, glistening in the summer heat as all real southern ladies do, my thoughts turned towards summers past with my brother and the many snow cones consumed in childhood. There a

Top Resolutions for the Grieving

Top Resolutions for the Grieving Top Resolutions for the Grieving Paula Stephens In 2010 I lost 150 pounds – true story. I lost 150 pounds that came from the deepest folds of my heart and radiated out into every fiber of my mind, body and spirit. What’s left of that weight sits in an urn on the table in my living room. My son Brandon. After that weight loss, losing that "last 5 pounds" or making New Year's resolutions based on vanity began to seem silly. Would I really be happier 5 pounds

Money Matters

Money Matters Money Matters Terri Starliper Dealing with Death, Dollars, & Sense On August 5, 2000, I married USAF Technical Sergeant Christopher Sheaffer. We had been together for almost 3 years. Chris was a Freefall Instructor at the Yuma Proving Grounds in Arizona. I was an accountant in Phoenix. Chris had two daughters from a previous marriage. We had bought a fixer-upper house in Phoenix with land where we could keep our horses. I had been recently promoted. We were set. Life was pict

Dare to Share

Dare to Share Dare to Share Stephanie Frogge Life with grief is challenging enough, but it can become even more challenging when we are called to share our story. While we know talking about our loss, our loved one, the experience of grief, healing and recovery and the details of the death, such as how we learned of it, are necessary and therapeutic elements of coping with loss and creating our new normal, navigating these fine lines can leave us vulnerable to hurtful responses. Beware of

Saturday Morning Message: Pet Support for Survivors

Saturday Morning Message: Pet Support for Survivors Saturday Morning Message: Pet Support for Survivors Carol Lane Good Morning, This week survivors sent their heartwarming responses about how pets have helped them on their individual grief journeys. Many sent pictures of their house pets, so I thought you might find it interesting to see a picture of outside pets sent by Susan, spouse of Charles, at the beginning of today’s message. I will keep my remarks short this week as there were so ma

Let Us Not Forget

Let Us Not Forget Let Us Not Forget Tiffany Eckert Recently I was asked what Veteran's Day meant to me… Veteran's Day was created to honor the brave men and women, who have served their country, past and present-a National holiday, pretty straightforward. Yet for many, this day offers a different perspective and reality. For some its having looked death in the eye, stared it down like a lion to its prey and walked away from battle forever changed. Others spilled their crimson blood in f

Light in the Midst of Darkness - Bringing Hope to Fellow Survivors

Light in the Midst of Darkness - Bringing Hope to Fellow Survivors Light in the Midst of Darkness - Bringing Hope to Fellow Survivors Paul McShan That day in March 2009, I saw Ricky's name light up on my phone and I answered like I always did, "What's up jarhead?"  When I heard a police officer's voice tell me there'd been an incident and the injuries appeared to be self-inflicted, I didn't believe him.  At the time, I just couldn't believe it.  I knew my son and this wasn't him.  My wife and

Webinar: Writing and Publishing Your Grief Story

Webinar: Writing and Publishing Your Grief Story Writing and Publishing Your Grief Story Webinar | TAPS Institute Eastern If you've been considering transforming your grief journey into a book that can help others, this webinar is for you. We will explore the ideas and themes that will interest editors, best strategies for writing a gripping memoir, how to land a literary agent, and more. I'm excited to be of service – helping writers gain confidence by better understanding the complicated worl

Loss to Learning to Leading

Loss to Learning to Leading Loss to Learning to Leading | TAPS Kenneth Naglak Surviving Father Finds Purpose Through TAPS Workshop When my son, Aviation Boatswain's Mate Aircraft Handler Joseph Naglak died in September 2018 during flight operations aboard the aircraft carrier USS George H.W. Bush (CVN 77), just two weeks and a few days after he had gotten engaged, I knew more than anything I needed help. It took some time to be open to the calls from TAPS, but when I did connect, I learned

Breaking the Silence as a Survivor of Murder-Suicide Loss

Breaking the Silence as a Survivor of Murder-Suicide Loss Breaking the Silence as a Survivor of Murder-Suicide Loss | TAPS Brittany Noble McCarthy “Couple Dead in Murder-Suicide,” read one headline following the deaths of my dad and stepmother in January 2018.  Rooted in his determination to take his own life, Dad’s final act precluded him from a burial with military honors after serving the country for 20 years as an enlisted Army sergeant with multiple combat tours. The headlines precluded

Workshops

Workshops | TAPS National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp body content SEMINAR WORKSHOPS and Activities We have a variety of sessions available throughout the weekend. Our workshop presenters are leading experts in the field of grief and loss, and you'll have the opportunity to gain tools and resources for your grief journey. You may choose which workshops and activities to attend at your leisure. Make sure to download the TAPS seminar mobile app. This mobile app puts adv

Workshops

TAPS National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar Workshops body content SEMINAR WORKSHOPS and Activities We have a variety of sessions available throughout the weekend. Our workshop presenters are leading experts in the field of grief and loss, and you'll have the opportunity to gain tools and resources for your grief journey. You may choose which workshops and activities to attend at your leisure. Make sure to download the TAPS seminar mobile app. This mobile app puts advance details about the

Workshops

TAPS National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar Workshops body content SEMINAR WORKSHOPS and Activities We have a variety of sessions available throughout the weekend. Our workshop presenters are leading experts in the field of grief and loss, and you'll have the opportunity to gain tools and resources for your grief journey. You may choose which workshops and activities to attend at your leisure. Make sure to download the TAPS seminar mobile app. This mobile app puts advance details about the

Why I'm Here

Why I'm Here Why I'm Here | TAPS Emily Henkel “I will get through this. I can do hard things. These hard things will make me better and stronger. Please let me fulfill the rest of my life on this Earth. Please let me use this for good. Please send me a blessing — any blessing — and I pray so hard that soon my rescue will come.” — Personal journal entry, April 7, 2021, from a cliffside in Death Valley National Park Life has exposed itself to me in its purest and most naked form — reve

Books to Help Your Child

Books to Help Your Child Books to Help Your Child Andrea Hug When your child faces the death of a loved one, his or her primary support system is profoundly impacted. Your family must find new ways to communicate as you all move through the loss. Sharing your feelings and experiences is really important, and while a direct conversation is good, you may not get as much information as you’d like. You might get only brief answers without thoughtful consideration about how your child really feels

Saturday Morning Message: To Continue Traditions or Not?

Saturday Morning Message: To Continue Traditions or Not? To Continue Traditions or Not? | TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, Sometimes it is comforting to go to a place that was special to you and your loved one. This is a photo of Lake Tahoe sent by a survivor, Debbie, spouse of Tom, for inclusion in an earlier Saturday Morning Message. She wrote, “Lake Tahoe will always be my happy place and its magic holds the most incredible memories of joy, happiness and true love th

Saturday Morning Message: The things they leave behind

Saturday Morning Message: The things they leave behind Saturday Morning Message: The things they leave behind | TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, This week, survivors shared items they keep that are special remembrances of their loved ones. The picture today is of the laundry jug given to Marcia, by her son, Patrick, the last time he was home. She is the author of the original question. Read what others have saved to remind them of their loved ones. Surviving friends and family are invited to

Video: The Power of Story – Navigating the Mental Maps We Create

Video: The Power of Story – Navigating the Mental Maps We Create The Power of Story – Navigating the Mental Maps We Create Webinar | TAPS Institute Jesse Tubb This workshop is the second part of our two-part webinar series on The Power of Story, building on the foundation of how narratives shape our lives. In the first session, we explored how the stories we tell ourselves influence our emotions, decisions, and interactions. Now, we take the next step: understanding how these stories form the

Saturday Morning Message: Advice for Another Survivor

Saturday Morning Message: Advice for Another Survivor Saturday Morning Message: Advice for Another Survivor Carol Lane Good Morning, This week the survivors who wrote answered the question, “Knowing what you know now, what would you offer to another person who has lost a loved one?” There were many ideas to contemplate and Karl sent a poem that came from the Internet which I think you will find meaningful. I couldn’t find an author, but I think it says a lot about how a grieving person feels

My Dad Died, Too

My Dad Died, Too My Dad Died, Too Nathaniel Lee In 1996, my father Capt. Donald Lee was the Army’s Outstanding Aviator. A year later, he and his co-pilot were killed in a training accident when their helicopter crashed. My mother Theresa, my then 5-year-old brother Sam and I, age 7, had our lives thrown into turmoil as our family and the Fort Hood community dealt with this loss. By the end of that school year, we were moving to Northern California where my mother’s family lived, saying goodby

Dealing with the Media in Wake of Tragedy

Dealing with the Media in Wake of Tragedy Dealing with the Media in Wake of Tragedy | TAPS Ami Neiberger-Miller For many surviving families who have lost a loved one in the military, our interactions with the media are interwoven with our experiences in the days immediately after our loved one dies. We encounter the reporters on our front porch, field phone calls from the Associated Press, and might even scan pictures to share. As a seasoned public relations professional, I am no stranger

Agency Over Agent Orange

Agency Over Agent Orange Agency Over Agent Orange | TAPS Claire Henline “Hey ‘CG’ Can I get you anything?”  It was the question my dad always asked me when I was really sick. The kind of sick he could tell just by the look of me — a crumpled up little lump of ginger lethargy on the couch with my woobie — was not just the ‘7 to 2 get out of school flu’ I sometimes came down with. It came in a tone of deep sincerity and earnest determination to fix it however best he could. His hea

Team TAPS: Battle Buddies

Team TAPS: Battle Buddies Team TAPS: Battle Buddies TAPS TAPS provides support for anyone affected by the death of a service member, and that includes the battle buddies who trained and served with our loved ones. Not only are these service members TAPS survivors themselves, but many of them become runners and fundraisers on the Run and Remember Team as well. Sometimes they meet the family of their close friend who died. Often they are able to share stories of the one who died. Always they we

Faces of TAPS: Surviving Spouse Leslie Jackson Vallade’s Story

Faces of TAPS: Surviving Spouse Leslie Jackson Vallade’s Story Faces of TAPS: Surviving Spouse Leslie Jackson Vallade’s Story | TAPS TAPS Leslie Jackson Vallade Faces of TAPS gives military survivors the space to, in their own words, both celebrate the lives of their military loved ones and reflect on their personal grief journey.  Leslie Jackson Vallade, surviving spouse of U.S. Army SSG Devin Scott Vallade, Sr., was introduced to TAPS through a phone call after Devin’s death in 2017.  “I r

Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Creative Ideas

Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Creative Ideas Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Creative Ideas | TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, Creativity helps with our healing and honors our loved ones. Survivors share the various ways they use their different talents. The photo today shows poppies that Andi, mother of Jacob, crocheted for a TAPS seminar. This week you will read more about her work and the other innovative ideas survivors shared in this week’s message. I look forward to hearin

Attending TAPS Events: Encouragement for the Newcomer

Attending TAPS Events: Encouragement for the Newcomer Attending TAPS Events: Encouragement for the Newcomer TAPS When someone we love dies, the world as we once knew it no longer exists. We find ourselves on a journey we never expected or wanted to be on. We feel isolated and we wonder if others understand the pain we feel. Deciding to go to a TAPS event can be difficult for the new survivor. We question how we will fit in, how we will be treated, and what the event will be like. Here are the

Saturday Morning Message: Making a Difference With TAPS Events

Saturday Morning Message: Making a Difference With TAPS Events Saturday Morning Message: Making a Difference With TAPS Events | TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, Since our question this week is about TAPS events, and those who responded covered many of them, I thought showing a picture of American TAPS survivors meeting in 2016 in the United Kingdom might be helpful to show that TAPS also travels to other countries. If you want to attend an event from your own living room, I suggest the chats

Saturday Morning Message: What It's Like to Attend a TAPS Seminar or Retreat

Saturday Morning Message: What It's Like to Attend a TAPS Seminar or Retreat Saturday Morning Message: What It's Like to Attend a TAPS Seminar or Retreat Carol Lane Good Morning, Deciding to go to a TAPS event can be difficult for the new survivor. Although they are held in various parts of the country, travel is often involved. The survivor asks, “What will this event be like?” or “How will I be treated?” I posed this week’s question asking survivors to share what a TAPS seminar was like. T

The Valley of the Shadow

The Valley of the Shadow…Where Every Day Is Memorial Day The Valley of the Shadow…Where Every Day Is Memorial Day | TAPS Heather Gray Blalock Those of us who have lost a loved one often feel as if we reside in the valley of the shadow of death. Every day is Memorial Day because not a day goes by when we aren’t remembering the one we lost. For me, the official Memorial Day felt different this year. In past years, I climbed Pikes Peak with my late husband’s unit, I founded a nonprofit that host

Someone to Lean On

TAPS Peer Mentor: Someone to Lean On Someone to Lean On | TAPS Lalaine Estella Peer Mentor Sara Wilson (left), surviving spouse of retired Navy Captain David Wilson, and her mentee, Kellye Bone (right), surviving spouse of retired Air Force Technical Sergeant Thomas Bone, have similar stories—their husbands had long military careers in similar jobs, they died of similar causes, and they both have daughters around the same ages (11 and 7 for Sara; 21, 13, and 9 for Kellye). They met for the

I Remember You

I Remember You I Remember You Elizabeth Rozier I worry sometimes that I will forget you. You have the other half of my childhood memories and I know if you were here you would be correcting my version of the story. I miss that. I know one day Justin will want to know about you and I worry that I won’t be able to remember.  Sometimes it’s easy to rejoice that healing but it’s also easy to forget that our life has moved on and you are not in it. I remember beating up Mikey because he tried

Workshops for 2022

Workshops for 2022 Workshops for 2022 | TAPS Online Workshop: Theatre Lab for Families 1st Thursday at 6:30 p.m. Eastern January 6, 2022   Coping Skills: Goal Setting Special session to learn how to set realistic goals, to give ourselves credit for the small wins, to reset after lessons learned, and to achieve our dreams. January 6, 2022, 8:00 PM-9:30 PM   Online Workshop: Theatre Lab for Adults 2nd Tuesday at 7 p.m. Eastern January 11, 2022   Coping Skills: Vision Boards

November 17, 2021

November 17, 2021 TAPS Statement for the Record | TAPS News Advocacy Proprietary Footer November 17, 2021 - TAPS Statement for the Record Before the Committee on Oversight and Reform, United States House of Representatives, Subcommittee on National Security, Hearing on Mental Health and Suicide Among Active Duty Servicemembers, Veterans, And Family Members Presented by Dr. Carla Stumpf Patton, Senior Director, Postvention Programs The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) is the n

Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Activities

Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Activities Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Activities Carol Lane Good Morning, This picture is the American flag next to a banner designed by Anne, mother of Michael,  which is placed in a mall near her home to remind people of Memorial Day's meaning. You will read her comments later. Most of the TAPS staff, including me, will be attending the 22nd Annual TAPS National Military Seminar and Good Grief Camp on May 26 - May 30. If you are joining

#MyGivingStory

#MyGivingStory My Giving Story | TAPS TAPS You can help the mission of TAPS by sharing your personal giving story this holiday season. Simply share why you support TAPS and why others should be inspired to give to TAPS, too. Your story could help TAPS win up to $10,000 this #GivingTuesday, November 28, for families of the fallen. Share the Word about #GivingTuesday Visit #MyGivingStory to share how you help TAPS in our support of families around the country. Print off the TAPS “I Give B

Living Legacies, Meaningful Healing

Living Legacies, Meaningful Healing Living Legacies, Meaningful Healing | TAPS Noriko Stern Dianne Layfield Katie Davis Write it Down By: Kristi Stolzenberg, Editor, TAPS Magazine Karl Porfirio, surviving father of SrA Tre Porfirio, U.S. Air Force, was not a writer by trade when he sat down to write My Daddy’s Heart is Purple, but his dedication to honoring veterans and preserving his son’s memory earned him the title of children’s book author in 2018.  While stationed in Afghanistan, Tre

All In With TAPS at National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar

All In With TAPS at National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar All In With TAPS at National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar Misty Blum About a year ago I was on the phone with the head of Peer Mentor Training for TAPS. We were chatting about the upcoming national seminar taking place in Washington DC. He mentioned that it is a great experience but suggested for my first seminar I should attend the annual suicide seminar because it is so specific to my loss. Well, I know good advice when I h

Saturday Morning Message: Making Friends at a TAPS Event

Saturday Morning Message: Making Friends at a TAPS Event Saturday Morning Message: Making Friends at a TAPS Event Carol Lane Good Morning, Coming to a TAPS event alone can make us wonder how "we will fit in, how we will be treated, and what the event will be like". That was the question last week and many have written to say they will be waiting for this week's answers. Some who answered this question talked about attending a TAPS event and others addressed going out socially after the loss.

When Does the Hurt Go Away?

When Does the Hurt Go Away? When Does the Hurt Go Away? Artis Henderson On a recent morning, I was working in the front yard of my house in Florida when a neighbor walked over. Before then, we'd never said more than hello, but on that morning he wanted to talk. So we talked about my mango trees, about the drought, about the avocado he'd planted that never took hold. When we'd run through all of it and I couldn't think of where to take the conversation next, my neighbor surprised me by saying,

Run and Remember Team: Finding the FUN in Fundraising

Run and Remember Team: Finding the FUN in Fundraising Run and Remember Team: Finding the FUN in Fundraising Betsy Beard Since October of 2000 when the first Run and Remember Team of two runners raised nearly five thousand dollars, fundraising has been a part of the team’s efforts on behalf of TAPS. Not only do TAPS runners spend time training for the event, but they also use their skills and ingenuity to raise awareness and raise funds in support of the TAPS mission. Some runners run only

Saturday Morning Message: Life Changes

Saturday Morning Message: Life Changes Saturday Morning Message: Life Changes | TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, The picture this week is of TAPS volunteers working on sending out information to survivors. I thought it would be a good picture since so many of the responders talked about volunteer work they are doing. As for me, joining the TAPS organization as a Peer Mentor was a turning point. From there, the idea of starting the weekly Saturday Morning Message came. When I started working pa

Saturday Morning Message: Pet Support

Saturday Morning Message: Pet Support Saturday Morning Message: Pet Support Carol Lane Good Morning, Sharing your space with a pet can be very rewarding. Just having your pet cuddle up next to you when you are feeling down can be uplifting. Pets help us in so many ways. This week, I thought I would write to tell you about my two dogs, Fiona and Henry. Fiona is the dog on the carpet, and Henry is the one on the couch. They are both Scotties who are more like humans than animals. They sit by

A Father's Quest to Honor his Son

A Father's Quest to Honor his Son A Father's Quest to Honor his Son Bob Bagosy Okay, it's finished! The quest to honor my son, SGT Thomas R Bagosy USMC is complete. On October 16, 2014 the Commandant of the Marine Corps General Amos approved the awards committee recommendation for Tommy to be awarded a Purple Heart for injuries he received in Iraq on December 18, 2006. According to one of Tommy's battle buddies, my son and four other Marines were in a Humvee providing security for an EOD team

Book Shelf: The Way Men Heal

Book Shelf: The Way Men Heal Book Shelf: The Way Men Heal Kyle Balduf The ways we grieve are as varied as the swirls and ridges at the tips of our fingers. This is why Tom Golden's The Way Men Heal (G.H. Publishing, 2013) is such a refreshing perspective of grief. In his book, Tom challenges some of the traditional judgments associated with healing. And don't let the title of the book fool you. Tom explains, "The masculine side of healing is used by both men and women. It is not simply a 'man

How I learned to confront my despair and rededicate my life

How I learned to confront my despair and rededicate my life How I learned to confront my despair and rededicate my life | TAPS Nicole Langhorst September is National Suicide Prevention Month. This article is the first of five stories by TAPS suicide loss survivors who wish to share lessons learned from their grief journeys. We invite you to share this story using the hashtag #SurvivorSunday. If you know or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide, please call the National Suici

Pain Inspired Purpose: Finding Meaning After Suicide Loss

Pain Inspired Purpose: Finding Meaning After Suicide Loss Pain Inspired Purpose: Finding Meaning After Suicide Loss | TAPS Kaylin Jennings-Knight I became widowed at the age of 27. At the time, I was five months pregnant and raising three young children. My late husband, Andre, was a disabled army veteran who suffered from PTSD and TBI. He lost his battle to PTSD on June 6, 2017. Many remember this date as D-Day. For my family, we remember this day as the day our world changed forever. 

Reunion and Remembrance

Reunion and Remembrance Reunion and Remembrance Ruth Crocker By the time I had been kissed by the eighth guy in line in front of me, my face carried the scent of a potpourri of aftershave lotions. This was not a typical reunion with family, old friends, or classmates. I hadn’t known any of these graying men, now in their sixties and seventies, until this moment. As they hugged me and planted friendly kisses on my cheek or grasped my hands, they gave brief introductions.  "I'm Joe. I carri

The Year of Getting Off My Couch

The Year of Getting Off My Couch The Year of Getting Off My Couch Linda Ambard For those of you who have followed my journey, you realize I am closing in on being five years from the loss of the man who meant the world to me.  I would gladly have given my life for his because I recognize he was that bright and shining star who made the world a better place, but trading places was never an option. For those of you who have watched or read about my journey, you have seen my struggles and you

Learning to Love Again

Learning to Love Again Learning to Love Again Amy Dozier We are all here because we have suffered a similar loss; the loss of a loved one in military service. Throughout the years we've had to endure the challenging task of creating our new normal. It has been exhausting, both physically and emotionally. We're strong because we've had to be. Amid the leaps forward come feelings of falling backwards with no soft landing in sight. All it takes is a song on the radio or the smell of an old shi

A Gold Star Mother's Day Reflection

A Gold Star Mother's Day Reflection A Gold Star Mother's Day Reflection Carol Lane Gold Star Mother’s Day is recognized the last Sunday of the month of September. Each year I wear my pin to church as a remembrance of my son, U.S. Marine Corps Sergeant Bryon Lane, who died in July 2001. This has been quite a journey. It all started with a phone call to me while I was at a summer curriculum meeting at school. I was told to come home as there had been an accident. All the way home, I wasn’t

Grief Grappling - Fighting for a New Normal

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Saturday Morning Message: Pet Comfort

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Commanders Coach Dan Quinn to Receive 2025 TAPS Senator Ted Stevens Leadership Award | TAPS Commanders Coach Dan Quinn to Receive 2025 TAPS Senator Ted Stevens Leadership Award FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE – March 24, 2025 ARLINGTON, Va. – The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) is honored to announce that Dan Quinn, head coach of the Washington Commanders, has been selected as the recipient of the TAPS Senator Ted Stevens Leadership Award. Each year, this prestigious award is presented

Saturday Morning Message: Books Help Our Grief Journey

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Learning to Accept – and Embrace – Uncertainty

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March 13 2024

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TAPS Families Visit Capitol Hill During Gold Star Families Remembrance Week

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April 6 2022

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March 2, 2022

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In the Midst of Grief

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A Visit With Vincent

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Layers of Grief After Suicide Loss

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Saturday Morning Message: Replying to Comments About Your Grief Journey

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Run and Remember: My Destiny

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Lest We Forget: teams4taps Brings 2 Families Together to Honor Their Heroes in Scotland

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Choose Forgiveness

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Saturday Morning Message: Inspirational Movies

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Saturday Morning Message: Paying Respects

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Saturday Morning Message: Attending Funerals After Loss of a Loved One

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Living with Less After Loss

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How Writing Helped Me Heal

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TAPS Recognizes author and CNN anchor Jake Tapper at Book Signing Event

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