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Video: TAPS Launches Grief Resources for the American Public Video: TAPS President and founder Bonnie Carroll unveils new resources for the American Public on CNN Video: TAPS Launches Grief Resources for the American Public \| TAPS CNN TAPS President and founder Bonnie Carroll speaks with CNN's Brianna Keilar to announce the launch of a new resource page to assist the American public in the wake of COVID-19. Visit at taps.org/covid/together. Select image below to play. bereaved, first responders, health care workers, coronavirus grief TAPS Pre
#MyGivingStory #MyGivingStory My Giving Story \| TAPS TAPS You can help the mission of TAPS by sharing your personal giving story this holiday season. Simply share why you support TAPS and why others should be inspired to give to TAPS, too. Your story could help TAPS win up to $10,000 this #GivingTuesday, November 28, for families of the fallen. Share the Word about #GivingTuesday Visit #MyGivingStory to share how you help TAPS in our support of families around the country. Print off the TAPS “I Give B
Video: Honoring Love and Embracing Transformation Video: Honoring Love and Embracing Transformation Honoring Love and Embracing Transformation Webinar \| TAPS Institute Andy McNiel There are many special holidays where we express our love for others. In the month of February on Valentine's Day we buy flowers, send cards, write letters, or express love to those special people in our lives. It is during these times when the love we feel for them is reflected in the pain we experience over their absence. What do we do with all the love we have f
Video: What To Do With Your Loved One's Possessions Video: What To Do With Your Loved One's Possessions What To Do With Your Loved One's Possessions Webinar \| TAPS Institute Rachel Kodanaz Personal possessions tell a beautiful story of a person's life regardless of age. But when we find that we have accumulated too much or a loved one passes, the process of sorting through the items can be overwhelming. Join Rachel for a workshop sharing personal stories while learning the best approaches to thin, repurpose, and redistribute these possessi
Surviving the Holidays After Loss Surviving the Holidays After Loss Surviving the Holidays After Loss Linda Ambard The Christmas holidays were always magical to me. I loved the hustle and bustle, the music, the festive home decorations, the planning and the secrets, what it means to me, and I loved the laughter in my chaotic family. We never had a lot, but somehow our tree was the tree that people stood and gaped at. It looked like we had a mountain of gifts piled high under the tree. Having five children will do that. F
Photos: Team TAPS Windy25 Memorial Fund 5K Windy25 Memorial Fund 5K Windy25 Memorial Fund 5K Photos \| TAPS TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (13 photos) taps fundraiser, photos, honor the fallen Flickr Album Event Photos: TAPS fundraiser held April 15, 2023 at the Cosmopolitan in Las Vegas to honor the legacy of our courageous heroes and in tribute to the Windy25 flight.
Photos: teams4taps USA Swimming teams4taps and USA Swimming teams4taps and USA Swimming Photos \| TAPS TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (10 photos) teams4taps, photos, military survivor teams4taps and USA Swimming \| TAPS Flickr Album Event Photos: Torri Huske, member of the USA Swimming National Team meets with families of the fallen with teams4taps on December 14, 2023.
Photos: Team TAPS Windy25 Memorial Fund 5K Windy25 Memorial Fund 5K Windy25 Memorial Fund 5K Photos \| TAPS TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (26 photos) taps fundraiser, photos, honor the fallen Flickr Album Event Photos: TAPS fundraiser held April 2, 2022 at the Cosmopolitan in Las Vegas to honor the legacy of our courageous heroes and in tribute to the Windy25 flight.
Photos: Expedition California TAPS and Outward Bound Backpacking Expedition Outward Bound Backpacking Expedition Photos \| TAPS TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (56 photos) photos, military survivor, Point Reyes National Seashore Flickr Album Event Photos: TAPS Survivors learn to trust their guides, their gear, their team and their-selves backpacking at Point Reyes National Seashore on March 9 to 12, 2020.
TAPS Suicide Survivor Seminar TAPS Suicide Survivor Seminar TAPS Suicide Survivor Seminar TAPS A place of healing and support Reprinted with permission from TIME Magazine’s Battleland Blog. Rebecca Morrison is one of two widows TIME Magazine featured in its July cover story on the surge in Army suicides. My New Family Thursday morning I bounced out of bed early and yelled “Oh my gosh!” I never get up on time and certainly never bounce. But this morning I knew that I would be headed to California for the TAPS sem
Introducing Dayna Wood Introducing Dayna Wood Introducing Dayna Wood Dayna Wood At one point in my life I thought a year was a long time, and in some ways I still agree with that, but at the same time, it often feels like I blink and another year has gone by. The last 13 months have been particularly rough. My fiancé SSG Su Wan Ko was killed in an automobile accident in March 2011. The months without him have felt like years, but the time I spent with him felt too short. It seems to be a cruel joke of life. Now
When Holidays Hurt: 3 Keys to Survival When Holidays Hurt: 3 Keys to Survival When Holidays Hurt: 3 Keys to Survival \| TAPS Gary Roe Ah, the holidays. Halls, houses, and lawns are decked with festive decorations. Kitchens are filled with delightful, savory aromas. The air is laced with laughter, familiar music, and the tinkling of Salvation Army bells. The holiday spirit is everywhere. But underneath the bright lights, smiles, and cheerful greetings lurks the unseen warehouse of holiday expectations. We have to top last year an
Fallen Hero Match Made in Heaven Fallen Hero Match Made in Heaven Fallen Hero Match Made in Heaven \| Team TAPS Lalaine Estella Samira and Jennifer When Samira Chagua got up well before dawn to drive to Walt Disney World Resort in February 2018, she was excited to cheer on the Team TAPS runners at the start and finish of the Disney Princess Half Marathon. She was especially looking forward to seeing Jennifer Kinnett of Vincennes, Indiana, cross the finish line. The two had never met, but Jennifer had signed up for a Fallen
New Years: A Time for Self-Exploration New Years: A Time for Self-Exploration New Years: A Time for Self-Exploration \| TAPS TAPS The beginning of a new year is an obvious time for reevaluation, but it’s also an opportunity for compassionate self-awareness. We focus so often on what we need to do — thinking that if we do certain things, we’ll have certain outcomes, and then we’ll be a certain way or feel a certain sense of satisfaction. This year, though, instead of a New Year’s resolution — a commitment to “do”-ing something — w
A Visit With Vincent A Visit With Vincent A Visit With Vincent London Bell I was excited and nervous in the days leading up to my visit. Then the day came. On Wednesday, March 4, 2015, I took the metro train to the Arlington National Cemetery stop. The moment I stepped off the train, I took a deep breath..... then another deep breath.......and another. I could see the entrance to Arlington as I walked off the elevator and I was in immediate awe of its beauty. I could feel the butterflies flying around in my st
Armed Forces Cycling Classic supports TAPS Armed Forces Cycling Classic supports TAPS Armed Forces Cycling Classic supports TAPS TAPS What started as a small cycling event in 1998 in Clarendon has grown today into one of the region’s premier professional and amateur cycle races. The Armed Forces Cycling Classic gets underway June 1 and 2, 2019, in Arlington, Virginia, with TAPS as the beneficiary of race proceeds. Robert Laybourn, president and founder of Armed Forces Cycling Classic, comes from a family with a proud tradition of se
International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day \| TAPS Carla Stumpf Patton International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day, commonly referred to as ISOSLD or Survivor Day, is on Saturday, November 20, 2021. It is declared as a day of healing throughout the world, where all those impacted by suicide loss can connect around the lives of their loved ones and share their experiences of support, encouragement, and hope. According to The American Foundation for
Saluting our Fallen Heroes Nashville Songwriters Show & Dinner Celebrates 25 Years of TAPS Saluting our Fallen Heroes Nashville Songwriters Show & Dinner Celebrates 25 Years of TAPS Saluting our Fallen Heroes Nashville Songwriters Show & Dinner Celebrates 25 Years of TAPS Christine Burtt We did it again! Directors Lynne and Bo Cottrell – along with a great Executive Committee, co-chairs Linda Cavanagh and Kevin Kreymborg, and 80 amazing volunteers, produced the 14th annual Colorado Celebrity Classic to Benefit TAPS – and a celebration of the 25th anniversary of TAPS. Survivor
Introducing Rachael Hill Introducing Rachael Hill Introducing Rachael Hill Rachael Hill The year following my husband’s death was undoubtedly the most difficult year I have ever had to deal with. Never in a million years did I think I would be a widow and a single mom to 3 and 5 year old little boys at just 31 years old. That's the stuff that happens to other people...not to me. My husband was young, healthy, and full of life. This couldn't happen to him. We had so much going for ourselves and we were so in lo
July 28th... July 28th... July 28th... Rachael Hill On July 28, 2012, it will be two years since I sent my husband to work for the last time. Two years since I last hugged and kissed him good-bye. Two years since I last heard him tell me he loved me. Two years since the four crew members of Sitka 43 took off for the very last time. Has it really been that long? Has another year really gone by? Where did it go? What did we do? It is still hard for me to believe that it has been two years since Jeff’s
Hurricane Disaster Assistance Helps One Family Believe Hurricane Disaster Assistance Helps One Family Believe Hurricane Disaster Assistance Helps One Family Believe \| TAPS TAPS In the aftermath of hurricanes Harvey, Irma and Maria, TAPS families found themselves needing assistance with basic life necessities. Our Casework Team was able to help by connecting our survivors to resources through our long-standing partnerships with government, private, volunteer and charitable organizations that help with military benefits. The Casework Team operated
A Mother’s Love A Mother’s Love A Mother’s Love \| TAPS Kristi Stolzenberg Maria Gonzales Pamela Wanga In kindergarten, out of all the books and flashy trinkets at the school book fair, I used my money to purchase Love You Forever by Robert Munsch. If I had to guess, I was likely drawn to the toddler sitting in the middle of pure chaos of his own creation — thinking it was probably a hilarious book. If you’ve ever read the book, you know that — while it has glimmers of humor that I now find relatable as a par
A 9/11 Reflection: TAPS at the Pentagon Family Assistance Center A 9/11 Reflection: TAPS at the Pentagon Family Assistance Center A 9/11 Reflection: TAPS at the Pentagon Family Assistance Center Bonnie Carroll On September 11, 2001, the TAPS Families watched along with the rest of the world as the unthinkable tragedy unfolded. As military survivors, there was an immediate realization that the mission of the American Armed Forces would change profoundly after that day. Bonnie Carroll, TAPS President and Founder, was serving as an Air Force Reserve Officer
Saturday Morning Message: Move or Stay Saturday Morning Message: Move or Stay Saturday Morning Message: Move or Stay Carol Lane Good Morning, The picture today comes from Allicia, daughter of Burr, who sent it for use in the Saturday Morning Message. It seemed like a good photo to share as it shows a road and some beautiful mountains in Utah. Whether you have decided to stay in your home or move, driving down a road and looking at the scenery can be a relaxing thing to do. This week, there were many replies to the question from
Run and Remember: Marine Corps Marathon Forward Run and Remember: Marine Corps Marathon Forward Run and Remember: Marine Corps Marathon Forward Dustin Kazmar Mission Complete for TAPS! Editor’s Note: On October 26, 2008, more than 6,000 miles away from Washington DC, the site of the annual Marine Corps Marathon, hundreds of service members ran in the sands of Iraq to honor our Fallen Heroes. This is one Marine’s amazing report. Race day! I wake up at 0400 and jump in the shower to start my morning. While I am shaving I hear what sounds
Godwinks: To The Stars Godwinks: To The Stars Godwinks: To The Stars \| TAPS Davina French The rain beat down, creating puddles on the road that could throw your vehicle around a bit. The passenger window went down again. This time about four inches, I rolled it up and told Scout to quit messing with me. As soon as I got the passenger window back up, my driver’s window started to go up and down erratically. Then it went down and stayed down. Doing 60 mph, drenched by the sideways rain now inside my vehicle, I turned
TAPS Partners with the Cohen Veterans Network to Provide Specialized Mental Health Support to Save Lives Houston Chronicles: TAPS Partners with the Cohen Veterans Network to Provide Specialized Mental Health Support to Save Lives Houston Chronicles: TAPS Partners with the Cohen Veterans Network to Provide Specialized Mental Health Support to Save Lives \| TAPS In the News PRWeb News Source: Houston Chronicles suicide prevention, military veteran, donor news, honor the fallen TAPS Partners with the Cohen Veterans Network to Provide Specialized Mental Health Support to Save Lives TAPS Red Team
Video: USAB and TAPS USAB and TAPS USAB and TAPS TAPS Media USA Basketball continued their partnership with the U.S. Military this summer as they teamed up with TAPS (Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors). The Men's and Women's Olympic teams hosted military families that had lost a family member at practices and games. Select image below to play. USAB, United States Association Basketball USAB and TAPS Video Container USA Basketball continued their partnership with the U.S. Military this summer as they team
TAPS Partners with Broadway Musical Bandstand on Film Release TAPS Partners with Broadway Musical Bandstand on Film Release TAPS Partners with Broadway Musical Bandstand on Film Release TAPS TAPS is proud to join with the Broadway musical Bandstand as it prepares for its nationwide film release. The 2017 Tony Award-winning production was selected by FATHOM Events for release this month in hundreds of theaters across the country. Proceeds from the June 25 and June 28 showings and a pre-release benefit in New York will support TAPS in its continuing missi
Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Creative Ideas Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Creative Ideas Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Creative Ideas \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, Creativity helps with our healing and honors our loved ones. Survivors share the various ways they use their different talents. The photo today shows poppies that Andi, mother of Jacob, crocheted for a TAPS seminar. This week you will read more about her work and the other innovative ideas survivors shared in this week’s message. I look forward to hearin
Video: Moving Mindsets - Rethinking Recreation for Emotional & Mental Health Video: Moving Mindsets - Rethinking Recreation for Emotional & Mental Health Moving Mindsets - Rethinking Recreation for Emotional & Mental Health Webinar \| TAPS Institute Emily Munoz Sometimes movement starts feeling like it's about fitness and not about fun - or we haven’t quite figured out how to have fun out “doing things.” Why did Einstein like to bicycle? Why do some great artists need to walk? How do we change when we join bowling leagues and church softball leagues? What on earth is p
Climbing Mountains Climbing Mountains Climbing Mountains Peggy Carvill-Ligouri We all have mountains to climb, mine just happened to be in Tanzania, Africa. Climbing Mount Kilimanjaro challenged me and changed me in ways I never thought possible. I started with the sole purpose of honoring the memories of my two brothers, Mike and Frank. Mike died of colon cancer on September 23, 2003. Frank was killed in action in Sadr City, Iraq, on June 4, 2004. They loved travel, adventure and any and all outdoor activit
What Do You Say, Dear? What Do You Say, Dear? What Do You Say, Dear? TAPS Handling Holiday Invitations If you would like to receive the TAPS Saturday Morning Message each week, please ask to be added to our list by writing to online@taps.org. The winter holiday season arrives each year just when we may feel like pulling the covers over our heads and ignoring it altogether. Invitations to parties and festive events arrive like clockwork. We are torn because we are not sure if we are ready to celebrate,
Is It Ok? Is It Ok? Is It Ok? Shanette Booker Every day for about the first two years after Dre's passing, I walked on eggshells and hid behind the bushes. I never wanted to be in the limelight. I didn't want to say or do anything that would offend someone. I was his wife and as his widow, I didn't want to be inappropriate in my mannerisms, words, or actions. I felt as if people would question how much I loved my husband, if I loved him as much as I said I did, or if I still loved him. It was the harde
Video: 2024 President’s Award for Lifetime Achievement Video: 2024 President’s Award for Lifetime Achievement Video: 2024 President’s Award for Lifetime Achievement \| TAPS TAPS Media On November 13, the 14th Annual Lee Anderson Hiring Our Heroes Awards Gala, presented by Booz Allen Hamilton, celebrated the remarkable achievements of the individuals and organizations whose dedication to the military community has transformed countless lives. Bonnie Carroll, founder of the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS), was honored with the Presid
Caregiver to Survivor (C2S) Partnership Executive Summary 2023 Caregiver to Survivor (C2S) Partnership Executive Summary 2023 Caregiver to Survivor (C2S) Partnership Executive Summary \| TAPS TAPS Red Cross Military and Veteran Caregiver Network Elizabeth Dole Foundation For more information, visit the Caregiver to Survivor page. Full Screen Download PDF Donate NOw To Impact Our Grieving Military Families //
Caregiver to Survivor (C2S) Partnership Report 2023 Caregiver to Survivor (C2S) Partnership Report 2023 Caregiver to Survivor (C2S) Partnership Report \| TAPS TAPS Red Cross Military and Veteran Caregiver Network Elizabeth Dole Foundation For more information, visit the Caregiver to Survivor page. Full Screen Download PDF Donate NOw To Impact Our Grieving Military Families //
TAPS Survivor Newsletter August 2023 TAPS Survivor Newsletter August 2023 TAPS Survivor Newsletter August 2023 TAPS Media Illness-loss survivors: Your family at TAPS and supporters, like toxic exposure advocate Jon Stewart, are urging you to apply for retroactive PACT Act benefits by August 14. This is your chance to qualify for benefits backdated to the PACT Act signing on August 10, 2022 — those funds could be significant. It's time to act. Call our 24/7 Helpline at 800-959-TAPS (8277) or visit TAPS PACT Act Resourses for fili
Video: TAPS Honor Guard Gala Highlights Video: TAPS Honor Guard Gala Highlights Video: 2023 TAPS Honor Guard Gala Highlights TAPS Media The TAPS Honor Guard Gala gives the opportunity to remember the love of our fallen heroes, celebrate their lives and share the stories of the journey military survivors experience with their TAPS family. Watch the highlights of the March 22, 2023 TAPS Honor Guard Gala, including clips from TAPS Board of Directors Deborah Mullen, TAPS President and Founder Bonnie Carroll, TAPS Military Mentor of t
Video: Suicide Prevention Public Service Announcement Video: Suicide Prevention Public Service Announcement Video: Suicide Prevention Public Service Announcement \| TAPS TAPS Media As a suicide loss survivor, what does suicide prevention mean to you?⁣ ⁣ We asked TAPS survivors of suicide loss this question and their answers were full of hope.⁣ ⁣ “Suicide prevention efforts can be healing and even empowering as we turn our grief into action based on our own experiences,” surviving spouse Dr. Carla Stumpf-Patton, TAPS Senior Director of Postventio
TAPS Seeks National Headquarters Volunteers TAPS Seeks National Headquarters Volunteers TAPS Seeks National Headquarters Volunteers TAPS In January 2018, TAPS moved into a new National Headquarters located in the Clarendon neighborhood of Arlington, Virginia, near the Clarendon Metro. We are currently seeking volunteers to serve in the role of guest liaison at our headquarters, warmly welcoming visitors and honoring the military families, survivors, donors, partners, and guests who visit TAPS. Responsibilities: greeting and assistan
TAPS Families Enjoy Cookies and Cocoa with Santa TAPS Families Enjoy Cookies and Cocoa with Santa TAPS Families Enjoy Cookies & Cocoa with Santa \| TAPS TAPS For the second year in a row, TAPS families in the Colorado Springs area were able to attend an evening of cheer and holiday spirit thanks to generous supporters. The Mike Boyle Show and Greiner Electric teamed up with 710KNUS-1460KZNT for a holiday toy drive and then hosted a Cookies and Cocoa night at the Cheyenne Mountain Resort. The heartwarming holiday event was a chance for the
TAPS Recognizes author and CNN anchor Jake Tapper at Book Signing Event TAPS Recognizes author and CNN anchor Jake Tapper at Book Signing Event TAPS Recognizes author and CNN anchor Jake Tapper at Book Signing Event TAPS On Wednesday evening, TAPS brought together 60 special guests with CNN anchor and author Jake Tapper at a reception and signing of Tapper’s critically acclaimed book, The Outpost: An Untold Story of American Valor. Bonnie Carroll introduced Tapper and showed a compelling video about TAPS and the impact TAPS services have on the families of Americ
Watch the Gold Star Children film Trailer Watch the Gold Star Children film Trailer Watch the Gold Star Children film Trailer TAPS Gold Star Children is a documentary feature film that takes an intimate look at American children who've lost a parent to war. The film follows the parallel journeys of two generations of grieving children; recent war orphans who’ve lost military parents serving in Iraq, Afghanistan, Bosnia and here at home, learn to heal alongside the now adult-child survivors of the Vietnam War. The film brings together
Video: TAPS Honor Guard Gala Highlights Video: TAPS Honor Guard Gala Highlights Video: 2025 TAPS Honor Guard Gala Highlights TAPS Media The TAPS Honor Guard Gala is one of the most inspirational and significant events honoring our military families. It unites guests from across the nation including survivors of military loss, senior military leaders, administration officials, TAPS supporters, congressional representatives to celebrate the spirit of American patriotism. Watch the highlights of the March 25, 2025 TAPS Honor Guard Ga
The Holidays Are Here Again The Holidays Are Here Again The Holidays Are Here Again Jill Harrington-LaMorie For survivors who have experienced the death of a loved one, the shadow of grief often darkens the weeks from Thanksgiving through New Year’s Day. The holidays can be a less than welcome time of year for those who have lost a loved one, sometimes one of dreaded anticipation and relieved conclusion. Because they have lost a loved one, grievers find themselves dreading the holidays. SUGGESTIONS FOR MANAGING THE S
How Do We Start Again? Small Steps to Reconnect with Ourselves How Do We Start Again? Small Steps to Reconnect with Ourselves How Do We Start Again? Small Steps to Reconnect with Ourselves \| TAPS Erin Jacobson What comes into your mind when you read the words health, body, self-care, fitness? How do these words land emotionally? Notice what comes up for you. Maybe you feel positive emotions, and that is fantastic. But maybe, you have a different experience. Maybe, feelings of exhaustion, shame, or defeat come over you. If this is the case, know that you
Five Reasons to Bring Your Kids to the National Military Survivor Suicide Seminar Five Reasons to Bring Your Kids to the National Military Survivor Suicide Seminar Five Reasons to Bring Your Kids to the National Military Survivor Suicide Seminar \| TAPS Karissa Kelley Protecting children from harm, guarding their innocence, and providing a happy childhood are paramount goals in the mind of a loving caregiver. Words like “death,” “suicide,” and “grief” may not seem to fit with this vision of a happy childhood. Attending a National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar (NMSSS) i
Saturday Morning Message: Angelversary Ideas Saturday Morning Message: Angelversary Ideas Saturday Morning Message: Angelversary Ideas \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, This week, there were so many responses that I made a decision to include some of the longer pieces in the March Writers’ Circle Newsletter, which will go out early next week. If this sounds like something you would like to receive, contact me at online@taps.org and I will include you on the mailing list. Please enjoy all the different replies that came this week. Ques
Learning to Live Again Learning to Live Again Learning to Live Again Linda Ambard I am at a Tragedy Assistance Program (TAPS) retreat this weekend. A woman said something to me that hit really close to home. She is a year and a half out from her husband’s death. She told me she feels like she is going through the motions and keeps wondering if she will feel happiness in her life again. She pondered enjoying life and looking forward to the next events unfolding. Four and a half years later, I wonder the same th
Video: TAPS These Days Video: TAPS These Days #FamiliesNeverForget Video: TAPS These Days #FamiliesNeverForget TAPS Media The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) is the leading national organization providing compassionate care and survivor support services for the families of America's fallen military heroes. Since 1994, TAPS has offered support to more than 85,000 survivors of fallen military in the form of peer-based emotional support, grief and trauma resources, grief seminars and retreats for adu
Welcome Home Welcome Home Welcome Home Donna Elm Creating a New Family Refuge We are psychologically tethered to those we love. When they die, we are cut loose from those firm moorings, so we feel adrift, disoriented. When people ask how we are doing, the answer is certain: “We are lost.” We lost Mike on October 14, 2011. On a mission in Afghanistan, he never saw the IED buried in the dirt that he was crossing. We were notified the next morning. For the previous ten months, I had been on the edge of m
Start Imperfectly Right Now Start Imperfectly Right Now Start Imperfectly Right Now TAPS What's standing in the way of making wellness a priority in your life? As TAPS focuses on health and wellness this year, we want you to consider this question. Often, perfect is the enemy of good enough, especially when it comes to our own well-being. What are you putting off, or avoiding, because you've created your own set of criteria? Are you waiting to start an exercise program today because you tell yourself you can have a fres
Almost a Decade Almost a Decade Almost a Decade Elizabeth Rozier The 16th and 19th of next month will mark the 34th birthday and the 9th anniversary of my brother's death. It's a strange thought that he's now been gone for almost a decade. The first few years I was worried that as we got further from his death he would be forgotten, not by us but by those around us. Everyone grieves differently, I'm fairly open about my healing and talk freely about my brother. As those dates approach I will post his
Run with TAPS in 2019 Run with TAPS in 2019 Run with TAPS in 2019 \| TAPS TAPS It’s not too late to commit to setting your resolution to run with TAPS in 2019. We’ve got two fun races coming up in February and March, with each race offering multiple distances for every level of runner. Photo: TAPS Archive The last day to register for the Disney Princess Half Marathon Weekend is Monday, January 28. The weekend event will be held February 21-24 in Orlando, Florida. Entries are available for all distances—5K, 10K, h
Week in Review for May 7th Week in Review for May 7th Week in Review for May 7th TAPS The past few weeks have been exceptional for TAPS! We welcomed 40 military widows and widowed fiancées from all across the country for a healing retreat on the Emerald Coast of Florida in Destin. Retreat attendees went kitesurfing and paddle boarding, and did teambuilding activities. With each activity, participants gained empowerment. The women grew to know one another…ultimately realizing they were not alone in their grief. On A
Video: Bonnie Carroll Speaks at the TAPS Honor Guard Gala Video: Bonnie Carroll Speaks at the TAPS Honor Guard Gala Video: Bonnie Carroll Speaks at the TAPS Honor Guard Gala \| TAPS TAPS Media TAPS President and Founder, Bonnie Carroll speaks at the 2023 TAPS Honor Guard Gala on March 22, 2023. "The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) is a family of all of us grieving the death of a military loved one. TAPS was founded to come alongside the military to fill gaps, to mend hearts, to compliment existing support. TAPS is there in the darkes
Video: Navigating this New Grief and Loss Journey Video: Navigating this New Grief and Loss Journey Navigating this New Grief and Loss Journey Webinar \| TAPS Institute Karen Monts When will this get better? How do I get through this? Am I going crazy? The complexities of grief are emotionally, cognitively, and spiritually challenging, and it is normal to struggle, especially when your loss is new. If you are newly bereaved, this program will offer strategies, validation, and guidance to help you better understand and cope with your grief jou
Video: Helping Grievers Draw Boundaries Video: Helping Grievers Draw Boundaries Helping Grievers Draw Boundaries Webinar \| TAPS Institute Joy Berger It’s often said that grief is hard work, so adding the job of setting boundaries to a griever’s to-do list can feel overwhelming. Yet the importance of setting healthy boundaries in grief – with relatives, friends, co-workers, and even with social media – has a clinical foundation based in well-known contemporary grief theories. Join Dr. Berger in exploring ways to empower grieving per
Video: Passed and Present Video: Passed and Present, Keeping Memories of Loved Ones Alive Video: Passed and Present, Keeping Memories of Loved Ones Alive \| TAPS Institute Allison Gilbert This webinar was recorded by the TAPS Institute for Hope and Healing® and presented by Emmy award-winning jounalist and author Allison Gilbert. This video recording of the webinar unveils new and innovative ways to help individuals remember and celebrate the family and friends they never want to forget. These opportunities are g
4 Tips for Handling the Holidays with Grieving Children 4 Tips for Handling the Holidays with Grieving Children 4 Tips for Handling the Holidays with Grieving Children \| TAPS Diana Wright Whether it is the first or the 10th year since your loved one’s death, facing the holidays can be stressful. We know the holidays will never be the same, but there are things you can do to make them a little more bearable for both you and your child. 1. Make a plan. Carefully consider invites and festive functions; check in with yourself to see if it is truly
5 Ideas to Make it Through Valentine's Day Without Your Love 5 Ideas to Make it Through Valentine's Day Without Your Love 5 Ideas to Make it Through Valentine's Day Without Your Love August Cabrera For many of us who have lost a sweetheart – a husband, wife, fiancé, significant other – Valentine’s Day and all the related hoopla can be very hard to deal with. Here are five tips that may help keep your head and heart pieced together on what can be a tough day. 1. Be kind. If that means buying yourself flowers, then do it. If that means an entire box o
Forgiveness Forgiveness Forgiveness Linda Ambard How does a person forgive the unforgivable? Almost four years ago, my Phil was taken from me in the very worst way possible, by someone he liked and trusted. With the death of Phil, I lost everything I had built for my life and future. I assumed we would grow old together, welcome grandchildren together, and even bury parents together. I expected It be able to say goodbye when the time came. I never thought I would be a young widow. Sometimes, forgivene
The Stigma of Suicide The Stigma of Suicide The Stigma of Suicide Don Lipstein March 14, 2011, I knew a handful of people who had died by suicide. I could probably count on 2 hands the number of people I knew who had struggled with the grief that comes with a suicide loss. That all began to change the very next day. The day I lost my 23 year old son to the demons in his brain. The day my education on suicide began. There isn't a lot I remember in the early days of my mourning! I do remember trying to tell
Celebrate Life Month Celebrate Life Month Celebrate Life Month Linda Ambard So often in life, people assume that there will always be another day to do the niceties we want to do for our loved ones. Often people get consumed with the daily minutiae of survival and responsibilities. I was no different. Phil and I had spent our entire marriage being parents and with having five children, there was little time for anything else. Our time, energy and resources went into being good parents and responsible adults.
In the Midst of Grief In the Midst of Grief: What We Can Learn From Our Children What We Can Learn From Our Children in the Midst of Grief \| TAPS Amanda Gallagher I am a mother to three incredible daughters, who have always given me more than I could ever give them. They are bright, kind, and funny. Since the day each of them was born, I’ve learned more about love than I can put into words. All their father or I ever wanted for them was the absolute best. Above all, we wanted what all parents want for their kids—t
Saturday Morning Message: How Does Grief Affect Your Work? Saturday Morning Message: How Does Grief Affect Your Work? Saturday Morning Message: How Does Grief Affect Your Work? \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, This picture is a flower from a cherry tree in Washington, D.C., taken this past March by Benjamin Shaul, who is a friend of Kelly, sister of Samuel. I wanted the readers of the Saturday Morning Message to be able to gaze at it while they listened to the beautiful song of the week that Mikiko, spouse of Demond, contributed. Would you like t
Be Gentle With Me Be Gentle With Me Be Gentle With Me Linda Ambard I thought I knew how my life was going to play out. Sure, both Phil and I were going to grow old and die one day---one day far, far away. A day after a brief illness and a time to get one's affairs in order and to say goodbye to loved ones. Before that one day, some day in the far off future, there was so much more that was supposed to happen. We married when we were both very young and had more children than anyone else. Phil was a Staff S
Feelings In the Spaces of My Heart For Which There Are No Words Feelings In the Spaces of My Heart For Which There Are No Words Feelings In the Spaces of My Heart For Which There Are No Words Linda Ambard When Phil's candle burned out far too early, I snuffed out a part of me with him. In the 23 years of marriage, I found a safe harbor to weather the storms in. Before I met Phil, I didn't have laughter in my life and I yearned for a place to call home. Marrying a military man meant that my idea of home changed from a location to a concept. Home was wh
When Families Grieve at the Holidays: Supporting Children Coping with Loss When Families Grieve at the Holidays: Supporting Children Coping with Loss When Families Grieve at the Holidays: Supporting Children Coping with Loss TAPS The holidays can be a magical time of year, but for children who have experienced the death of a parent, sibling, or another significant person in their lives, the holiday season can be tough. It also poses challenges for still-grieving family members and caregivers around them. “The holiday season can be particularly difficult for famil
Mentoring the Next Generation of Surviving Children Mentoring the Next Generation of Surviving Children Mentoring the Next Generation of Surviving Children \| TAPS Ashley Leal Jacob Brinneman The Power of Peer Support Carries on Through Legacy Mentors If you have ever attended a TAPS Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp — maybe a regional seminar or the National Military Survivor Seminar over Memorial Day weekend — you may have seen a group of children being led by volunteers in navy blue, purple, or white t-shirts. These volunt
Video: CNN's Home Front - Remembering Veterans Who Died by Suicide Video: CNN's Home Front - Remembering Veterans Who Died by Suicide Video: CNN's Home Front - Remembering Veterans Who Died by Suicide \| TAPS CNN Kim Ruocco, Vice President of TAPS Suicide Prevention and Postvention and widow of Marine Corps Major John Ruocco, and Nicole Langhorst, TAPS Survivor Care Team and sister of Army Staff Sergeant Michelle Langhorst, remember the heroic lives their loved ones lived with CNN's Brianna Keilar on this Memorial Day 2020. Find suicide loss support at www.t
Community, Camaraderie and Compassion on the International soccer stage Community, Camaraderie and Compassion on the International soccer stage Community, Camaraderie and Compassion on the International soccer stage \| TAPS Alex Meyers The sign “Empowered women empower women” greeted visitors as they were welcomed to the SheBelieves Cup, an international women’s soccer tournament. SheBelieves Cup is held in the United States every year and invites women’s national teams around the world to come together to show their talents and efforts both on and off the field.
Video: Gala Highlights 2019 Video: Gala Highlights 2019 Honor Guard Gala \| TAPS TAPS Media The 2019 TAPS Honor Guard Gala, held on March 6 at the National Building Museum in Washington, D.C., celebrating 25 years of service to families of America's Fallen Heroes, with those who help make TAPS mission possible. Featuring remarks from General Paul Selva, USAF, Vice Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff; Michael Neidorff, Centene Chairman and CEO; General Martin Dempsey, USA (Ret), 18th Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staf
Video: General Dunford at the Gala General Dunford at the Gala General Dunford at the Gala TAPS Media Marine General Joseph F. Dunford, Jr. chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, delivered remarks at the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) Honor Guard Gala in Washington, D.C. on April 6, 2016. In his remarks, Gen. Dunford recognized the family members who lost service members as well as the TAPS team who provided support for families in mourning since 1994. Select image below to play. TAPS Honor Guard Gala, Dunfo
Audio: TAPS Helps Families of Those Killed at Fort Hood TAPS Helps Families of Those Killed at Fort Hood TAPS Helps Families of Those Killed at Fort Hood WBUR/NPR When a major military tragedy like the shooting at Fort Hood happens, an organization called the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) springs into action. Sheri Beck, the director of the TAPS survivor care team, joins Here & Now’s Robin Young to discuss what the organization does in such a circumstance. Listen to Audio Your browser does not support the audio element. L
Healing on the Line Healing on the Line Healing on the Line \| TAPS Larry Mace This article is adapted from Larry’s original article which was published in the February/March 2024 issue of Fly Fisherman magazine. Unfortunately, I am the father of an Army hero who was killed in the battle of Kamdesh, on October 3, 2009, in Afghanistan. When my son, Stephan Mace, was stationed at Fort Carson, Colorado, I went out to visit him for two weeks to share our love for the outdoors. We hiked in the snow to U
International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day \| TAPS Carla Stumpf Patton International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day, also known as ISOSLD or Survivor Day, is on Saturday, November 21, 2020, and is intended to be a day of healing throughout the world, where all those impacted by suicide loss can connect around the lives of their loved ones and the experiences of hope, support, and encouragement. According to The American Foundation for Suicide Pre
International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day \| TAPS Carla Stumpf Patton International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day is on Saturday, November 23, 2019, and is intended to be a day of healing throughout the world, where all those impacted by suicide loss can connect around the lives of their loved ones and the experiences of hope, support, and encouragement. The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (or AFSP) supports hundreds of community even
International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day \| TAPS Carla Stumpf Patton International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day is on Saturday, November 17, 2018 and is intended to be a day of healing throughout the world, where all those who are affected by suicide loss can connect around the lives of their loved ones and the experiences of hope, support and encouragement. On this day, survivors will gather around the world in small and large events in local c
International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day \| TAPS Carla Stumpf Patton International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day is on Saturday, November 18, 2017 and is intended to be a day of healing throughout the world, where all those impacted by suicide loss can connect around the lives of their loved ones and the shared stories of hope, support, and encouragement. The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention or AFSP, oversees more than 350 host location
The Gold Star Tree: A Holiday Memorial to Our Fallen Heroes The Gold Star Tree: A Holiday Memorial to Our Fallen Heroes The Gold Star Tree: A Holiday Memorial to Our Fallen Heroes \| TAPS Patti Nowaczyk During the Christmas season, the Hammond, Indiana, Welcome Center showcases its own exhibit of the movie “A Christmas Story.” Windows are filled with animated displays of scenes from the film. And yes, the leg lamp with the fishnet stocking shines brightly in all its glory. The display also includes 35 holiday trees, and there is a drawing to see who wi
Klinger’s Korner: Understanding Your Child’s Unique Way of Being in the World Klinger’s Korner: Understanding Your Child’s Unique Way of Being in the World Klinger’s Korner: Understanding Your Child’s Unique Way of Being in the World \| TAPS Andy McNiel How can three children grow up in the same household and be so entirely different? Many factors play a role in shaping who a child is, how they develop, and the person they become. Some of these factors include their genetics (the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree), their birth order, household circumstances duri
Saturday Morning Message: The Kindest Things You Can DO for Yourself Saturday Morning Message: The Kindest Things You Can DO for Yourself Saturday Morning Message: The Kindest Things You Can DO for Yourself \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, When we are grieving, we often forget to take care of ourselves. Eating healthy snacks can be overlooked as a way to care for our health. Apples are in abundance at this time of the year and make good snacks, so I thought it would make a good opening picture for this Saturday Morning Message on the topic of being kind to o
Saturday Morning Message: Favorite Foods Saturday Morning Message: Favorite Foods Saturday Morning Message: Favorite Foods Carol Lane Good morning, This week survivors wrote about the favorite foods of their loved ones. In addition, I thought it would be fun to share an article written by Marissa Donovan titled "Easy Fall Foods to Keep Your Spirits Up." The article includes some new recipes that look like they might be fun, like these Jack-O-Lantern stuffed peppers. Sometimes we find comfort in preparing the foods that have been a
Are You Ready to Be a Peer Mentor Are You Ready to Be a Peer Mentor Are You Ready to Be a Peer Mentor August Cabrera During my first TAPS Expedition, I watched new friends stretch, reach and jump for handholds on the rock walls as we climbed. This day, full of red sandstone cliffs near Moab, Utah, was the culmination of our four-day Colorado Plateau adventure. Earlier, as we prepared to rock climb, we learned to be successful we have to properly gear up: shoes, harness, helmet and, the most important thing, a safety line tied
2014 Is My Year of Hope 2014 Is My Year of Hope 2014 Is My Year of Hope Linda Ambard 2014 is my year of hope. I never could have once imagined a small bit of what my life is now---not the unthinkable loss that shattered my heart and robbed me of every dream I had for my future; nor could I have imagined the blessings that rain down and overfill me with a sense of wonder and overwhelming paralysis because I deserve none of it. Some of you have known me long enough to remember a quiet and shy girl who was bullied a
In This Dress In This Dress In This Dress Linda Ambard I have a dress that sits in the back of my closet. I wear it on special occasions. This dress is special to me not because it is anything stunning to look at, but because of what it has come to represent. To understand the dress and its impact on me, one must look at why I bought the dress...rather, who I bought the dress for. I bought the dress on a whim while Phil was deployed. I bought this navy polka dotted dress just after I booked what would
Moving Forward "Moving" Forward Moving Forward Rachael Hill Change is sometimes the only constant we can rely on in our lives. No matter how good or bad a situation is, at some point it will inevitably change. Some changes are big while others are more subtle. My boys and I have recently decided to make a HUGE change in our lives…we have decided it is time to leave Alaska and will be moving to Minnesota this summer. I had been thinking about moving for quite a while but didn't know if I could really
Saturday Morning Message: Reward Your Bravery Saturday Morning Message: Reward Your Bravery Saturday Morning Message: Reward Your Bravery Carol Lane Good Morning, Taking care of yourself can be a hard concept for many of us. Most survivors have been raised to think that giving to others is more important than taking care of our needs. When you are grieving, it is important to take care of yourself since grief depletes both physical and mental energy. Self-care is not selfish; it is necessary to replenish ourselves so we can have the sta
I Know He's Dead, But... I Know He's Dead, But... I Know He's Dead, But... Shanette Booker Ok, I completely understand that if you are no longer breathing, have been declared dead by the medical examiner, and have a death certificate, that it means you are no longer amongst the living, have passed away, and yes that does me that you are dead. I am completely ok with the lingo and the terminology used when discussing or describing that someone has stepped into the proverbial light. That has never been an issue. I
Knowing the Pain Is Not Like Understanding the Pain Knowing the Pain Is Not Like Understanding the Pain Knowing the Pain Is Not Like Understanding the Pain Shanette Booker I have heard it from friends, family members, and other widows who have also heard it: “I know what you are going through and I understand your pain.” I know we all have heard it and if not, then we have heard it this way: “I don’t know what you are going through but I understand your pain.” I find myself always thinking: “you don’t know and you will never understand…and
What Do I Miss the Most? What Do I Miss the Most? What Do I Miss the Most? Rachael Hill What do I miss the most? A few months ago a friend asked me what I missed the most about my husband. It was an interesting question and while I had a very quick answer for her, it wasn’t until recently that I really started to truly think about it. It’s a very thought provoking question and one that doesn’t really have one definitive answer. There are so many things that I miss… Jeff was the type of person that could command a
Survivors Find Love and Acceptance at Seminars Survivors Find Love and Acceptance at Seminars Survivors Find Love and Acceptance at Seminars TAPS 2016 was a busy year as the Seminars team hosted survivors in 11 locations across the country, including Florida, Washington state, New England, Colorado and Louisiana. Connecting with our TAPS family at nine Regional Seminars, as well as at each of our two National Seminars, is an essential part of sharing the journey together. Through workshops, sharing groups, family dinners and more, our sur
teams4taps Helps young Boy Meet NASCAR Star teams4taps Helps young Boy Meet NASCAR Star teams4taps Helps young Boy Meet NASCAR Star TAPS For TAPS survivors, our lives changed in the blink of an eye. But not everything that happens in a blur is bad--especially not when the roar of the engines circles at Charlotte Motor Speedway. In October, executives at Charlotte Motor Speedwaycreated an extraordinary opportunity for a TAPS family at the Bank of America 500 race. This was a VIP experience, they rolled out the red carpet for teams4taps
TAPS Survivor Newsletter May 2023 TAPS Survivor Newsletter May 2023 TAPS Survivor Newsletter May 2023 TAPS Media For most Americans, Memorial Day is just one day. But for all of us at TAPS, Memorial Day is every day . The service and sacrifice recognized for a moment by our fellow citizens on the last Monday in May are ours to bear, with pain and pride, forever. Some spend the day marking the beginning of summer, but we spend the day honoring our heroes. We visit the graves of our loved ones, remember great love, and rededica
You Deserve to Heal You Deserve to Heal You Deserve to Heal Alan Wolfelt “Wounds don’t heal the way you want them to; they heal the way they need to. It takes time for wounds to fade into scars. It takes time for the process of healing to take place. Give yourself that time. Give yourself that grace. Be gentle with your wounds. Be gentle with your heart. You deserve to heal.” – Dele Olanubi Yes, it takes time and, most important, the process of active mourning for healing to unfold. You must be patient and gi
6th Annual TAPS Celebrity Classic 6th Annual TAPS Celebrity Classic 6th Annual TAPS Celebrity Classic Christine Burtt TAPS is grateful for the time and energy that the Cottrells and their team of volunteers put forth each year for the annual TAPS Celebrity Classic. We are humbled by their dedication and thankful for their support. The 6th Annual TAPS Celebrity Classic in Colorado, hosted by Larry Gatlin and the Gatlin Brothers, exceeded expectations both in terms of the fun factor and by the $500,000 raised for the Trag
Run and Remember: Healthy Kids Fun Run Run and Remember: Healthy Kids Fun Run Run and Remember: Healthy Kids Fun Run Betsy Beard A Growing Component of the TAPS Run and Remember Team The year was 2004. The TAPS Run and Remember team had been tying up their shoelaces and running to honor their loved ones for the previous four years. For the first time, TAPS expanded the Run and Remember Team to include our TAPS children running the Marine Corps Marathon Healthy Kids Fun Run. “At that time everyone gathered at the Iwo Jima Memor
Saturday Morning Message: Helpful Activities Saturday Morning Message: Helpful Activities Saturday Morning Message: Helpful Activities \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, The idea for the question this week came from a discussion we had on the Tuesday general chat about activities that helped lift us from grieving. Debby, wife of Thomas was one of those participating in that chat. She talked about the quilts she makes, so I thought placing her beside one of her quilts would be a good way to open this week’s Saturday Morning Message. It is
Saturday Morning Message: Living Life to Fullest Saturday Morning Message: Living Life to Fullest Saturday Morning Message: Living Life to Fullest Carol Lane Good Morning, As you read answers from survivors, living life after the loss of a loved one is not easy, but we all take up the challenge in different ways. The picture today comes from the recent TAPS Magazine article by Linda Ambard, spouse of Air Force Maj. Philip Ambard , titled "The Journey of Hope Never Ends." In this article, Linda talks about looking at things that she wanted
An Etiquette for Grief An Etiquette for Grief An Etiquette for Grief \| TAPS Crystal Gromer This article was previously published in the March 1996 issue of Vogue magazine and the Summer 1996 issue of TAPS Magazine. On a hot night in July 19 years ago, my husband Mark died. He was 24 years old. He was smart and witty and bright, he had thick brown hair that he pushed off his forehead and that shone auburn and a little gold in the light, and he loved me, of that I have no doubt. In all the pictures I have of him
Saturday Morning Message: Showing Love to Those Around Us Saturday Morning Message: Showing Love to Those Around Us Saturday Morning Message: Showing Love to Those Around Us \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, Beth, former spouse of Thomas, wrote last week about the ornament she is making symbolizing hope. I thought it would be a good picture to use for the beginning of this message since we all need to have hope in our lives. We sometimes forget to let others know that we still care for them while we are grieving. Just the simple act of a hug or liste
Uncharted Territory Uncharted Territory Uncharted Territory Angelia Brinneman Dating after Loss With the coming of the holiday season, do widows and widowers feel more alone? I know I always do. Parties, get-togethers, and holiday celebrations seem to bring out couples everywhere, but I am still alone. We are expected to be cheerful… and even happy to meet our friends’ and siblings’ new significant others, but all it does is make us feel more alone. Nobody really understands why we aren’t joyful during the holi
Parenting in Grief: Modeling Virtues That Promote Positive Growth Parenting in Grief: Modeling Virtues That Promote Positive Growth Parenting in Grief: Modeling Virtues That Promote Positive Growth \| TAPS Andy McNiel This year's Youth Programs theme is “Virtues That Promote Positive Growth After a Loss.” Last year, we examined how loss transforms us and how our personal choices in the midst of grief impact that transformation. The 2025 theme builds on this concept by focusing on particular behaviors or character traits we learn, practice, and develop as we
Heading Off to College? Heading Off to College? Heading Off to College? TAPS TAPS Education Support Services is proud to launch the education care packages for incoming college freshmen. Similar in look and feel to TAPS Survivor Resource Kits sent to families after the loss of their loved ones, these care packages will be specific to surviving children and siblings headed off to college. The care packages will include a variety of items for young adults, including a TAPS Education Resource Report — a specialized
Military Mentors Available for all Surviving Children Military Mentors Available for all Surviving Children Military Mentors Available for all Surviving Children TAPS Through the TAPS Military Mentor Program, TAPS connects grieving military children with individual military mentors - service members from every branch of the Armed Forces who volunteer their time to provide individual support. Children connect to their mentors at the TAPS Good Grief Camps, which are held throughout the year all across the country. The goal of the program is to
You Don't Know What You Don't Know You Don't Know What You Don't Know You Don't Know What You Don't Know \| TAPS Ryan Weaver Sharing Music, A Message, and Finding an Open Forum to Heal Country music artist and military veteran Ryan Weaver. Have you ever walked in to a room since you’ve lost your loved one and felt that anyone, much less everyone, really grasped how much you’ve been through? How many times have you felt strongly, if not more, for someone else’s loss that you focused on their loss as much as your own, ev
Are You Ready To Rumble... With TAPS and Dare to Lead™? Are You Ready To Rumble... With TAPS and Dare to Lead™? Are You Ready To Rumble... With TAPS and Dare to Lead™? \| TAPS Terri Williams "I have watched over 300 TAPS Survivors graduate from our Dare to LeadTM program. Their growth, connection, and commitment to learn and help one another is a demonstration of the heart of the TAPS Community." ✯ Terri L. Williams, TAPS Senior Advisor and Dare to LeadTM Facilitator, Survivor of the 9/11 Attack on the Pentagon More than 300 TAPS
The Empty Chair The Empty Chair The Empty Chair \| TAPS Darcie Sims There’s an empty chair in our house and I am not sure what to do with it. It’s been empty a long time and although we’ve moved more than a few times since it became empty, we still haul it around with us. It’s not a particularly classic chair or even a very pretty one, and it is empty…all the time. No one moves it; no one suggests putting it away. No one sits in it. It’s just an empty chair. As a military family, we are used to having mem
Saturday Morning Message: Looking Back on Fond Memories Saturday Morning Message: Looking Back on Fond Memories Looking Back on Fond Memories \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good morning, Good morning, Connecting with other survivors and sharing stories of our loved ones is one of the best parts of TAPS. With the recent restrictions around COVID-19, we have had to do things differently this year, but we can still do it. The National Seminar went online and there were many survivors attending care groups and workshops. You can
Book Review: The Four Agreements Book Review: The Four Agreements Book Review: The Four Agreements Ashley Rao Spiritual teacher Miguel Ruiz promotes healing and transformation through ancient wisdom of the Toltec culture, a people native to Central America. In his book, “The Four Agreements,” Ruiz outlines “A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom.” Ruiz contends that a wall of fog distorts our perception of who we are: “It is as if we live in the middle of a fog that doesn’t let us see any further than our own nose.” This
Saturday Morning Message: Benefits of TAPS Seminars Saturday Morning Message: Benefits of TAPS Seminars Saturday Morning Message: Benefits of TAPS Seminars Carol Lane Good Morning, In this picture, you can see the smiles on these survivors' faces as they hug each other. For me, that is the best part of attending a TAPS Seminar. I spend a lot of time on the computer, but when I go to a TAPS Seminar, I get to meet other survivors in person. We can go to the workshops and events that are planned or just sit, have a cup of coffee and talk for as
Saturday Morning Message: Personal Changes Saturday Morning Message: Personal Changes Saturday Morning Message: Personal Changes Carol Lane Good Morning, For many, the scenery around us is changing. This picture is of fall foliage in Utah is for Allica, daughter of Burr, who lives in Utah. I asked her to send pictures of the mountains as the trees change into their fall colors for this Saturday Morning Message topic. It is overwhelming to see the beauty of our country. After the beauty of the fall, in many areas, the cold and gra
The Answers The Answers The Answers Bob Bagosy When my son Tommy completed suicide the day after Mother's Day in 2010, he ended his life and in the process changed a lot of other people's futures. People who complete suicide may believe they are doing everyone a favor by ending their misery, but in their need to end their pain they can't see the consequences. On May 10, 2010 Tommy changed my life and the lives of Iris (his mother), Katie (his wife), Nathan (his son), Avery (his daughter) in addition to
The Changing of Linda The Changing of Linda The Changing of Linda Linda Ambard Everybody hurts sometimes. I still do. As I stare down the quickly approaching three year milestone, I am feeling alone and slightly adrift. It started this week with a holiday I don't even like all that much. Valentine's Day was never that big of a deal when Phil was alive. Sure we exchanged cards and went out for dinner at some point, but it wasn't something either of us put a lot of effort into. For some reason this year, Val
Watching My Kids Grow Watching My Kids Grow Watching My Kids Grow Rachael Hill Three weeks after my husband’s accident my oldest son started kindergarten. Now my youngest is in kindergarten and it is a hard sting for me, not because my little buddy isn’t home with me during the day anymore, but because it is the harsh reality of how much time has gone by that Jeff has not been a part of. I often get asked the question, “How are the boys?” How do you really answer that? Do I even really know how they’re doing? I
Year 2 is Round 2 Year 2 is Round 2 Year 2 is Round 2 Shanette Booker August 19, 2011 was a day that I will definitely always remember. It’s not a national holiday by any means, but it is a family holiday and a day that will forever be celebrated, honored, and remembered. I vowed to love, honor, cherish, and obey…in sickness and in health, till death do us part. August 19, 2011 technically was the day death did do us part, but I don’t think that physical death counts…the love between us still lives after A
What Your Kids Want You to Know What Your Kids Want You to Know Andy McNiel * Senior Advisor, TAPS Youth Programs After a life-altering loss, we — as parents and caregivers — want to know how to support our children, ensuring they grow into successful, happy, and healthy adults despite knowing grief. When they seem OK on the outside, we worry about thoughts and feelings we can’t see. And, even when they are outwardly distressed or their behavior indicates something more is happening, they may not necessarily be communica
Never Forgotten: teams4taps and NFL Salute to Service Never Forgotten: teams4taps and NFL Salute to Service Never Forgotten: teams4taps and NFL Salute to Service \| TAPS Jessica Harper In a year of unprecedented challenges and difficulties, teams4taps and the NFL’s Salute to Service program continued to shine a light on the power of sports to unite people and create hope. 2020 was a year like no other. So perhaps it’s not surprising that our 2020 NFL Salute to Service events were also like no other. From telepresence robots, zoom parties, and “h
TAPS In Action TAPS In Action TAPS In Action Candace Wheeler TAPS is committed to supporting and advancing policy and legislation to strengthen the families of America’s fallen military heroes. Our Policy Team listens to the concerns of our surviving military families and advocates on their behalf. We work to educate military and veteran organizations, Members of Congress, and policymakers within the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA), Department of Defense (DoD), and other government agencies to ensure o
Military Leadership Honors Our Taps Family Military Leadership Honors Our Taps Family Military Leadership Honors Our Taps Family \| TAPS TAPS “The Department of Defense does a great job, from the time we recruit to retire, from the time we induct to inter, if someone dies on active duty or in retirement. But they stop at that point. Not because they want to stop, but because at that point, it’s really hard for the federal government to keep track of where a surviving family goes when they’ve lost a loved one. And that’s wher
The Challenge of Moving Beyond Our Sorrow The Challenge of Moving Beyond Our Sorrow The Challenge of Moving Beyond Our Sorrow \| TAPS Judy Tatelbaum A tolling weight on our shoulders after the death of a loved one is the sorrow that we must endure knowing that they can no longer be part of our futures. As we grieve, reminders of our lost hopes and dreams, ones that we wished to celebrate with our loved ones, can be excruciatingly painful. The Pain of Letting Our Hopes and Dreams Go Just three years younger than my brother David,
Like a Leaf on the Water Like a Leaf on the Water Like a Leaf on the Water \| TAPS Edward Dixon Like most individuals, I was like a leaf drifting on the surface of the stream of life - just going where the wind and the current took me. All was good for the most part. I felt the warmth of the sun. I felt the breeze blow by me and heard the songs of nature. I did what I needed to do. I did not resist. I just went along with the flow of life and for the most part I was happy. Photo courtesy of Cole Keister on pex
Little Things Mean a Lot During Stressful Times Little Things Mean a Lot During Stressful Times Little Things Mean a Lot During Stressful Times \| TAPS Kim Ruocco “Be careful what you wish for.” That phrase keeps playing over and over in my mind. I have longed for down time to rest, paint, read a book and just be with my family. It seemed like the answer to recovery from my fast-paced, travel-intensive job. I got what I asked for — but not in the way I thought it would play out. COVID-19 and the stay-at-home orders that came along with it
Saturday Morning Message: Take Some Time to Take Care Saturday Morning Message: Take Some Time to Take Care Saturday Morning Message: Take Some Time to Take Care \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, As we come to the beginning of 2019, it might be interesting to think about treating yourself well since the passing season might have been very stressful especially for those who are grieving. In the TAPS Magazine’s winter 2015 issue, there is an article titled "Seven Strategies for the New Year" written by Brad Stetson. In it he encourages some activit
Volunteer Spotlight: Matthew Navas Volunteer Spotlight: Matthew Navas Volunteer Spotlight: Matthew Navas \| TAPS Melissa Burris Matthew Navas has dedicated himself to serving others. He served his country as an Army combat medic, he served his fellow soldiers. After 9/11, he cared for the victims of the attack at the World Trade Center. Two years ago, Matthew went to the TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp as a corporate volunteer with his employer, Hasbro—the company that makes Monopoly, Play
5 Things to Pack for the Grief Journey 5 Things to Pack for the Grief Journey 5 Things to Pack for the Grief Journey Erin Jacobson Whenever we travel to a new location, there are elements of both uncertainty and promise. We try to pack our bags in anticipation of planned activities, weather and terrain. The grief journey takes us to unknown places, and while we don't know all that we will encounter, we can be mindful to pack some things to help us on the journey ahead. Self-care: We pack our toiletries to help us take care of
Gold Star Families: We Are the Best Versions of the Worst-Case Scenarios Gold Star Families: We Are the Best Versions of the Worst-Case Scenarios Gold Star Families: We Are the Best Versions of the Worst-Case Scenarios Emily Munoz I’ve been a nightmare at multiple points in my life. I’m pretty sure my younger brother can vouch for that. So, frankly, can Sallie Mae (I’m sorry, but I just couldn't handle those coupon books), my tax preparer (I love you, Amy!) and anyone with whom I’ve ever shared a hotel room. I think on some level we all want to live the dream.
She Let Go — In Her Time She Let Go — In Her Time She Let Go — In Her Time Nicole Crans Planning for my departure to the TAPS Women's Empowerment Retreat in Sedona, Arizona, I struggled with an enormous amount of fear. I kept asking myself, "Why did I sign up to go on this trip? What exactly were these people going to expect me to say and do?" The fear got so intense I began to do what I often try to do - plan. The first day, I felt fear and worry for what was coming next. I soon discovered that all these women we
Spotlight on Service: Daniel Davenport Spotlight on Service: Daniel Davenport Spotlight on Service: Daniel Davenport Paige Williams Life Beyond the Seminar: Through the Lens of a Good Grief Camp Mentor Daniel Davenport woke up one morning in April and sent a text message; a simple enough task, one that many of us do so often we think nothing of it. But for one TAPS family, this text message was so much more. Because on the anniversary of her father’s death, a child knew she was in the thoughts and prayers of her mentor. And that
Book Shelf: Healing a Grandparent’s Grieving Heart Book Shelf: Healing a Grandparent’s Grieving Heart Book Shelf: Healing a Grandparent’s Grieving Heart Carol Flack A grandparent's loss packs a double whammy. There is grief for your grandchild who died and grief for your child's devastating loss. But there's also the feeling that you must try to be strong for the sake of your child who is grieving. Healing a Grandparent's Grieving Heart by Alan Wolfelt is a book that addresses the special concerns of grandparents in the aftermath of their los
Forgiveness Forgiveness Forgiveness Elizabeth Rozier Growing up I often heard the stories of Jim and Elisabeth Elliot, Christian missionaries to the Huaorani tribe, an unreached people group in Ecuador. The Elliots and other friends, including a man named Nate Saint, had begun to reach out to the Huaorani tribe by dropping gifts from an airplane. The day they attempted a face to face meeting, some members of the tribe killed the group of men. I found Rachel Saint's story the most compelling after wa
Memorial Day Memorial Day Memorial Day Michele Hiester Marcum School’s out! School’s out! Teachers let the monkeys out! I remember many years ago, when that sing-song sentiment ushered in Memorial Day Weekend each year. Ahhh… the start of summer! Late nights splashing in backyard pools, slurping watermelon, and chasing lightning bugs, followed by lazy mornings spent sleeping in. Memorial Day meant a parade of flag-waving politicians and patriotic band kids, marching from downtown all the way to the cem
Faces of TAPS: Surviving Spouse Leslie Jackson Vallade’s Story Faces of TAPS: Surviving Spouse Leslie Jackson Vallade’s Story Faces of TAPS: Surviving Spouse Leslie Jackson Vallade’s Story \| TAPS TAPS Leslie Jackson Vallade Faces of TAPS gives military survivors the space to, in their own words, both celebrate the lives of their military loved ones and reflect on their personal grief journey. Leslie Jackson Vallade, surviving spouse of U.S. Army SSG Devin Scott Vallade, Sr., was introduced to TAPS through a phone call after Devin’s death in 2017. “I r
Creating Space and Rediscovering Ourselves in the New Year Creating Space and Rediscovering Ourselves in the New Year Creating Space and Rediscovering Ourselves in the New Year \| TAPS Erin Jacobson As every year ends and a new one dawns, we come to a reckoning of who we have been and what we have devoted our time to over the previous 12 months. The morning of January 1st, we brush off the glitter and dust of last night’s celebration and sit down to contemplate our resolutions. “This year I’ll be better,” we think to ourselves, “this year I will stop
On a Scale of 1 to 10, How Are You Doing? On a Scale of 1 to 10, How Are You Doing? On a Scale of 1 to 10, How Are You Doing? \| TAPS Stewart Farrell A family shares their unique way of checking in on each other. They know they should say something. They know they should ask. They want you to know they care, and yet, they can’t quite find the right words. And so they ask the same old, tired question, “how are you?” You want to answer. You want to tell them how you feel. You want to share with someone the pain you are experiencing
Saturday Morning Message: Coping with Lack of Concentration Saturday Morning Message: Coping with Lack of Concentration Coping Strategies for Military Survivors - TAPS News Carol Lane Good Morning, This week's message centers around understanding the loss of concentration when grieving and the strategies other survivors use to cope. One thing that helped me was to buy a package of sticky notes. I put one task for the day on each individual note. Then I laid them on the kitchen counter in the order they needed to be done. When I finished one, I threw
Saturday Morning Message: Grief Meltdowns Saturday Morning Message: Grief Meltdowns Saturday Morning Message: Grief Meltdowns Carol Lane Good Morning, Grief episodes or meltdowns are times that are hard to control. Sometimes they arrive when you are at places or at times when you don't expect them. Sarah, spouse of David wrote: "I was walking my dog this morning and thinking about a recent grief episode I had. It was at my son's college vet affairs office of all places! It got me to thinking about the many places where these bouts o
Saturday Morning Message: Sleeping & Grief Saturday Morning Message: Sleeping & Grief Saturday Morning Message: Sleeping & Grief Carol Lane Good Morning, Sleep. What do you do to get the rest that is needed while grieving? That was the question last week. Some survivors sleep too much and others too little. In addition to the replies that were sent in last week, it can be informative to look past articles on grief to find information. Once there, you can search for articles of importance to you. There are two magazine article
A New Year Without My Loved One In It A New Year Without My Loved One In It A New Year Without My Loved One In It Betsy Beard Once upon a time we were a happy, complete family that thrived on holiday traditions. Before Brad died, we approached the winter holidays with delight, reveling in the extra time together and enjoying the fresh sparkling snow and thoughts of the coming new year—a clean slate with no mistakes in it! New Year’s Eve parties were planned. We joyously stayed up late and allowed the kids the same latitude so
Supporting Grieving Children During the Holidays Supporting Grieving Children During the Holidays Supporting Grieving Children During the Holidays Ami Neiberger-Miller The holidays can be a magical time of year, but for children who have lost a parent, sibling, or other significant person in their lives, the holiday season can be an emotional minefield. It can also pose additional challenges for their still-grieving, surviving parents and other family members. For fifteen years the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors has helped sur
Honor Your Fallen Hero with the NFL This Football Season Honor Your Fallen Hero with the NFL This Football Season Honor Your Fallen Hero with the NFL This Football Season TAPS Football is a favorite pastime for many Americans, but for many of us in the TAPS family it's more than that - it's a special connection shared with our fallen heroes. "Every game day when my husband was with us, he would have all our Patriots outfits laid out, ribs on the grill and nachos in the oven. Our two girls, Lani and Loralei, were his little cheerleaders and enjoy
Made with Prayers and Good Wishes Made with Prayers and Good Wishes Made with Prayers and Good Wishes \| TAPS Elizabeth Cimini One way I've been getting through the virus craziness is to do more knitting than usual. I'm making prayer shawls for patients at a local nursing home and the hospice facility where my husband died. I've also made cloth face masks for hospice workers. Feeling useful is a big help. The idea of a prayer shawl is that the person knitting or crocheting it holds onto prayers and good wishes for the recip
Practice Random Acts of Kindness This Week — for Your Health! Practice Random Acts of Kindness This Week — for Your Health! Practice Random Acts of Kindness This Week — for Your Health! \| TAPS Lalaine Estella Today is the day the world focuses on being kind; it is Random Acts of Kindness Day — a day to celebrate going out of your way to do something kind and unexpected for someone else. Not only will participating in this special day increase happiness in the receiver, it will make you happier too! Today also kicks off Random Acts of Kindness Week,
Saturday Morning Message: Memorable Comments Saturday Morning Message: Memorable Comments Saturday Morning Message: Memorable Comments \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, For many of us, the comments people say or the behavior of those who know that we have suffered the death of a loved one are memorable. I know before this event in my life, I had no idea the things people would say or do. The one that fascinates me to this day is when I talk about my son, Bryon, and someone will look or walk away. It is as if by not talking about it, some
Cry to the End of Your Tears Cry to the End of Your Tears Cry to the End of Your Tears Emily Munoz Let's face it — crying can be uncomfortable. Not only is it hard to see others cry (and don't worry, at TAPS, you'll never cry alone), it's hard to put your emotions out there for others to see. Early in my grief, I remember crying in grocery stores, in line at the post office, in church. I cried in the shower. I cried every time I drove. And, most of the time, I chose not to care. Because I wasn't done — I was not fin
What Memorial Day Really Means What Memorial Day Really Means What Memorial Day Really Means \| TAPS Toni Gross With Memorial Day approaching, I want to share my personal experience, if it is worth anything. We Gold Star Mothers were asked by the veterans in leadership to lay a wreath at a Veterans Day ceremony here in the Tampa Bay area two years ago. We happily obliged. Not long after the holiday, a Blue Star Mother called me to inform me that veterans should have laid the wreath that day, she was kind in her tone of spe
Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Weekend Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Weekend Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Weekend Carol Lane Good Morning, This weekend there are many events to honor those who gave their lives in our country's military. It is hard to decide what to do. On Memorial Day, survivors can be found in many different places: Some are at the TAPS National Seminar in Washington, DC; others can be found at an activity in their home state; still others may choose a location that is special to their lov
Introducing Shanette Booker Introducing Shanette Booker Introducing Shanette Booker Shanette Booker I would like to welcome you to my world of wonder, wisdom, and widowhood. I am Mrs. Shanette Booker, wife of USMC Sgt. /USARMYSSG. Andre ‘Dre’ Booker. We met 14 March 2004, in beautiful Beaufort, South Carolina, where we fell in love and were married 22 October 2005. I met Dre while he was stationed at the Marine Corps Air Station, Beaufort, when he was just a Corporal in the Marine Corps. We have 4 very unique and love
Becoming Someone’s Why Becoming Someone’s Why Becoming Someone’s Why \| TAPS TAPS During the last week of September, close to 100 military and veteran surviving family members, representing 25 states, walked the halls of the U.S. Capitol led by the TAPS Government Relations and Legislative Affairs team. These survivors, ranging from ages 8 to 76 years old, had one goal — to advocate for four key bills that would have a profound impact on their lives, their fellow survivors around the country, and the survivors who w
TAPS on the Hill: Love Lives on Act of 2023 TAPS on the Hill: Love Lives on Act of 2023 TAPS on the Hill: Love Lives on Act of 2023 \| TAPS Ashlynne Haycock-Lohmann In 2023, TAPS is leading the charge on Capitol Hill to introduce and pass comprehensive legislation to allow surviving spouses to maintain benefits upon remarriage at any age. In April, Senators Jerry Moran (R-KS) and Raphael Warnock (D-GA) reintroduced the first truly comprehensive remarriage bill, the Love Lives On Act of 2023 (S.1266). The House companion bill (H.R.3651
TAPS Remembers Our Friend Darcie Sims TAPS Remembers Our Friend Darcie Sims TAPS Remembers Our Friend Darcie Sims TAPS TAPS extends our sincere condolences to the family of our mentor and friend Darcie Sims. We are all deeply saddened and uniting around each other as we grieve together as a family. Darcie has been with TAPS since 1998, sharing her joy and inspiring our families at TAPS regional and national seminars, and she will be sorely missed. She will forever live in the hearts of thousands of grieving military families.
Military Widows Go Skydiving with the Army's Golden Knights Military Widows Go Skydiving with the Army's Golden Knights Military Widows Go Skydiving with the Army's Golden Knights TAPS The widows will go skydiving with the U.S. Army’s Golden Knights, an elite parachute jumping team based at Homestead. For some, the jump is a way to connect with their spouse’s military training and experience. For others, it’s deeply personal. For Terri Starliper, who was widowed when her husband died in a military parachute training accident six weeks after their wedd
Grief expert shares how to find meaning after loss Grief expert shares how to find meaning after loss Grief expert shares how to find meaning after loss \| TAPS Institute for Hope and Healing TAPS Techniques of Grief Therapy at the TAPS Institute for Hope and Healing Loss and bereavement are universal, but the way we each respond to the life transitions that grief brings is varied. Some of us may adapt to the loss surprisingly well, others may struggle for a long time or feel unable to return to a normal level of functioning. Regardless of
TAPS Partners with Broadway Musical Bandstand on Film Release TAPS Partners with Broadway Musical Bandstand on Film Release TAPS Partners with Broadway Musical Bandstand on Film Release TAPS TAPS is proud to join with the Broadway musical Bandstand as it returns to theaters November 15 and 19. The 2017 Tony Award-winning production was selected by FATHOM Events for rerelease in hundreds of theaters across the country. TAPS will appear in the pre- and post-show footage of every screening. Bandstand has been an ongoing partner for TAPS and supported TAP
Dressed Blues Dressed Blues Dressed Blues \| TAPS Kathleen Doll Cristofaro Standing silent, motionless, Dressed in Blue, I stand at attention, my salute crisp, as I snap to I stand rigid A statue of respectful pride In memory of this young soldier Who has died Suddenly I shiver; my body starts to sway As the mournful song Of taps begins to play Standing alone, unbendable, and tall Only then in silence do I allow My farewell Salute to fall I struggle to erase this moment That I am forced to see F
Video: Recognizing that Our Choices Matter While Grieving Video: Recognizing that Our Choices Matter While Grieving Recognizing that Our Choices Matter While Grieving Webinar \| TAPS Institute Andy McNiel We grieve when someone in our life dies, it is not a choice, it is a natural, normal reaction to loss. Though grief is not a choice, there are choices that are available to us while we are grieving that have an impact on our health and wellbeing. This presentation will consider what some of these choices might be. We will discuss choices we have reg
Don’t Mourn My Loss, Remember the Good Things Don’t Mourn My Loss, Remember the Good Things Don’t Mourn My Loss, Remember the Good Things \| TAPS Charles Corr Army Major Andrew Olmsted was killed in Iraq on January 3, 2008, at the age of 38. In anticipation of his possible death, Major Olmsted wrote out some of his thoughts. On January 13, 2008, the Saint Petersburg Times published a portion of what Major Olmsted wrote, including the following sentence: “I would prefer that people remember the good things about me rather than mourning my
TAPS Survivor Newsletter February 2023 TAPS Survivor Newsletter February 2023 TAPS Survivor Newsletter February 2023 TAPS Media The TAPS Family is built on love. It is our foundation, our inspiration, our strength. In this month where we have a day that is devoted to love — let us reflect on love — in all its forms. Let us always remember that love is spoken here in the TAPS Family and that love will guide our path as we move forward. By living our best lives and preserving the memories of our fallen heroes, we each do our part to
Video: What Bereaved Kids Want You to Know: Adults Reflect Back on Their Childhood Bereavement Video: What Bereaved Kids Want You to Know: Adults Reflect Back on Their Childhood Bereavement What Bereaved Kids Want You to Know: Adults Reflect Back on Their Childhood Bereavement Webinar \| TAPS Institute Andy McNiel What is grief like for bereaved children and teenagers? How does grief manifest in their lives, their outlook, and the choices they make? What do bereaved children and teenagers want the adults in their lives to know? Who better to provide insight into these questions than adu
Video: What Bereaved Kids Want You to Know: Adults Reflect Back on Their Childhood Bereavement, Part 2 Video: What Bereaved Kids Want You to Know: Adults Reflect Back on Their Childhood Bereavement, Part 2 What Bereaved Kids Want You to Know: Adults Reflect Back on Their Childhood Bereavement, Part 2 Webinar \| TAPS Institute Andy McNiel Join us again, for part two of this adults' discussion on childhood bereavement. What is grief like for bereaved children and teenagers? How does grief manifest in their lives, their outlook, and the choices they make? What do bereaved children and teenagers wa
Veterans Day Message from a Gold Star Son Veterans Day Message from a Gold Star Son Veterans Day Message from a Gold Star Son \| TAPS Nathaniel Lee I am Major Nathaniel Lee, United States Space Force, and I am also the Gold Star son of U.S. Army Captain Donnie Lee. My dad was killed in an aviation accident in 1997, when I was seven years old. After he died, we moved from Texas where we had been stationed to California where my mom was from, losing our connection to the military community we had known and loved. It was during that ti
Video: Back to School, Back to Work: Returning to Routine when Nothing is Routine Video: Back to School, Back to Work: Returning to Routine when Nothing is Routine Back to School, Back to Work: Returning to Routine when Nothing is Routine Webinar \| TAPS Institute Rachel Kodanaz Daily routines and activities are upended after the loss of a loved one. What might have seemed like simple tasks of returning to work, sending kids back to school in the fall, or tackling a daily "to-do" list, may now seem overwhelming. Join Rachel for a conversation of ways to find continuity betw
Not the Funeral I Wanted Not the Funeral I Wanted Not the Funeral I Wanted \| TAPS Kenneth Doka It is not surprising that researchers and psychologists emphasize the therapeutic role of funerals and memorial services. Funeral rituals can be highly therapeutic. Psychologically, they confirm the reality of death and offer survivors opportunities to “do something” at a difficult and disorganized time. Socially, they allow for a community of friends and families to offer support by hugging, embracing, and offering other p
Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Special Memories Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Special Memories Sharing Special Memories \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, In this week's message, the responders share delightful memories of their loved ones. These thoughts put a smile on my face as I read them and I hope you will also enjoy them. Sharing memories of our loved ones with others who understand brings joy to our hearts and makes TAPS such a special group. Prior to the pandemic, many of us went to seminars in pers
Saturday Morning Message: Teachers make a difference Saturday Morning Message: Teachers make a difference Teachers make a difference \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good morning, Teachers can be very motivating especially when they help us discover subjects we find interesting. Survivors wrote this week about those subjects and how they were encouraged by teachers to continue exploring these subjects. One of my favorite subjects is reading. For those who find reading helpful especially during these uncertain times, Lauren, siste
Saturday Morning Message: Thoughts on Napping Saturday Morning Message: Thoughts on Napping Saturday Morning Message: Thoughts on Napping \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, Survivors find that sleep can be difficult when grieving. Sometimes taking a nap can be helpful especially when sleep escapes us during the night. Napping is one of the things we naturally do as children, but not as adults. I have found it helpful when I have had a rough night or I need to stay up later than usual, like when I moderate a TAPS online chat. Napping isn’t
The Power to Choose Hope The Power to Choose Hope The Power to Choose Hope \| TAPS Grace Seamon-Lahiff On a recent morning, I did everything the work-from-home experts told me to do. I got up, changed clothes, brushed my teeth, combed my hair. I even put on a little makeup. I went about my routine: settling into the new normal, preparing myself for a day of spreadsheets. Listening to the news as I made my coffee. Allowing the details of this devastating pandemic to wash over me. Shielding myself in the embrace of avoi
Years After Valentine's Loss, the Blessings of Love Remain Years After Valentine's Loss, the Blessings of Love Remain Years After Valentine's Loss, the Blessings of Love Remain \| TAPS Ellen Andrews Chocolate, flowers, candy, cards and romantic dinners. Valentine’s Day conjures up a myriad of images and feelings. You can’t go anywhere in the months of January and early February without being bombarded by store shelves filled with pink and red and “Be Mine” hearts. And while this annual holiday brings warm thoughts and joy to most, it can be
How I learned to take ownership of my grief How I learned to take ownership of my grief How I learned to take ownership of my grief \| TAPS Jennifer Keeling September is National Suicide Prevention Month. This article is the second of five stories by TAPS suicide loss survivors who wish to share lessons learned from their grief journeys. We invite you to share this story using the hashtag #SurvivorSunday. If you know or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 24/7 at
4 Things I Wish My Mom Knew 4 Things I Wish My Mom Knew 4 Things I Wish My Mom Knew Ashlynne Haycock-Lohmann I lost my mother Air Force Veteran Nichole Haycock to suicide when I was only 19 years old, which is a really complicated age. Legally, I was an adult and had to make adult decisions, but in my mind I was way too young to be making these decisions. After all, I still called my mom to ask what temperature was to wash my laundry. I didn’t know how to make adult decisions without her. Six years later, I have accom
When Does the Hurt Go Away? When Does the Hurt Go Away? When Does the Hurt Go Away? Artis Henderson On a recent morning, I was working in the front yard of my house in Florida when a neighbor walked over. Before then, we'd never said more than hello, but on that morning he wanted to talk. So we talked about my mango trees, about the drought, about the avocado he'd planted that never took hold. When we'd run through all of it and I couldn't think of where to take the conversation next, my neighbor surprised me by saying,
Letter from TAPS: Will There Be Continuity or Change? Letter from TAPS: Will There Be Continuity or Change? Letter from TAPS: Will There Be Continuity or Change? Emily Munoz Years ago, when I was attending grad school and living in Germany, I heard German scholars and foreign policy experts ask a question that stuck with me ever since. Always practical, the Germans boiled down tough decisions on European security and economic issues into one question: will there be continuity or change? Here we are, worlds away from that question as it eme
Moving Past The Guilt Moving Past The Guilt Moving Past The Guilt Linda Ambard Phil and I had a good marriage—more than good, but it was not perfect. As soon as Phil knew he was going to deploy and for the length of the deployment, he checked out. He did the distracted sort of there, sort of not there communicating. He would forget key days such as my birthday and even Christmas once. It wounded my heart because I was the girl at home waiting and trying to be both mom and dad to our five children. Because I ha
Tips for Father's Day Tips for Father's Day Tips for Father's Day Amy Dozier I remember, very fondly, the third Sunday of every June growing up. My dad made it so easy to pick out just the right gift for Father's Day. He loved the homemade card I made as a small child with scraps of colored paper and an array of pastel crayons. As I grew older, my gifts became a little more sophisticated. Things have changed, however, and I have learned that gifts for dad aren't always things you wrap up in colorful paper and bi
Veterans Day Veterans Day Veterans Day Rachael Hill Since my husband’s death in 2010, Veterans Day has always been my hardest holiday. Surprisingly it is not his birthday or his angelversary, nor is it Father’s Day or our wedding anniversary. It is Veterans Day, and it is a day that always seems to bring me to tears at one point or another. Jeff and I both joined the Air Force right out of high school. We didn’t know each other at the time, but met shortly after while in the same squadron at Technical
Working Through the Hard Times Working Through the Hard Times Working Through the Hard Times Rachael Hill It's been a while since I wrote my last blog…not because I didn't have anything to share, but because I found myself in a place I didn't know how to get out of. Our move last summer took a lot more out of me than I had anticipated and I just wasn't handling it well. I found myself doing all the things I said I would never do. I laid on the couch all day, I gained weight, and I lost all motivation. Ultimately, I just wa
Light in the Midst of Darkness - Bringing Hope to Fellow Survivors Light in the Midst of Darkness - Bringing Hope to Fellow Survivors Light in the Midst of Darkness - Bringing Hope to Fellow Survivors Paul McShan That day in March 2009, I saw Ricky's name light up on my phone and I answered like I always did, "What's up jarhead?" When I heard a police officer's voice tell me there'd been an incident and the injuries appeared to be self-inflicted, I didn't believe him. At the time, I just couldn't believe it. I knew my son and this wasn't him. My wife and
Scars at Christmas Scars at Christmas Scars at Christmas Linda Ambard Most people have scars from past injuries. Some are noticeable and red, while others are nearly visible. Some marks are invisible to the naked eye, but can be seen on an X-ray whose picture is a silent testimony of past pain. Scars are a testimony of the body healing, however those welts are not the whole story. Initially a wound scabs and bleeds. It takes very little pressure or trauma to reopen the wound. As time goes by and the wound looks
3 Years 3 Years 3 Years Rachael Hill July 28, 2013 = 3 years. How has it been that long? Three years? If it has really been three years, then why is it when I close my eyes I can still feel his arms around me and hear his voice? Sometimes when I close my eyes really tight…I can even see the light in his eyes still reflecting that no matter what happens, everything really is going to be alright. Three years has gone by and I have realized that a new woman is starting to emerge. I am not t
Boston Strong Boston Strong Boston Strong Linda Ambard As I was running the Boston Marathon, I was the cheerful girl zipping through the marathon with a swish of her red polka dotted skirt and a huge smile on her face. I ribbed the Army people working the course with my call out, "Air Power." Yes, I really was there and I really felt like I was seizing my life back. The Boston Marathon became the metaphor for my life. I focused on running with purpose and joy up Heartbreak Hill never once imagining the hor
Expectations Expectations Expectations Rachael Hill Do you ever wonder why there are always so many expectations put on us as we are working our way down this grief path? Dealing with the death of a loved one is hard enough in itself, but it proves even harder when the people around you add more pressure as to what they think you should, and should not, be doing. They want a timeline of when your grieving will be done and when you’ll be back to “normal.” They want you to get rid of all your loved one’s
Live, Laugh, Love Live, Laugh, Love Live, Laugh, Love Michele Hiester Marcum Recently, I had the privilege of browsing with friends in a rural flea market setting. As I wandered from booth to booth, up and down each gravel-packed aisle, I noticed how repetitious the vendors' offerings became. The same décor, the same clothing, the same garden supplies, the same meaningless treasures. It seems that the world is full of advice these days, on every available surface, from home to garden. If a thought has ever
Veterans Day Reflection Veterans Day Reflection Veterans Day Reflection Janna Schaefer Veterans Day, for many, is the celebration of our men and women in uniform. For myself and family, it is the day we lost our husband, father, son, brother and friend. SSGT Stephen M. Schaefer (USAF) was 31 when he died that morning as a result of his service in Desert Storm. This Veterans Day will mark the 20th anniversary of his death. Sometimes it is as though it were yesterday and I can recall each moment, and other times it
The Stumps and Zips in Our Lives The Stumps and Zips in Our Lives The Stumps and Zips in Our Lives \| TAPS Gregory Jacobs As my zero-turn mower cut over the flush stump in the side yard, I was reminded of the pull-up bar that stood there not long ago. While maneuvering ever so slowly around the yard with my 6-year-old grandson on my lap, I pointed up to a tree to show him the remnants of what used to be a zip line across the creek. In 2018, before my son, David, joined the Army, he decided to assemble a pull-up bar in the y
Video: The Components of Transformational Living Video: The Power of Story – Shaping Your World Through Narrative The Components of Transformational Living Webinar \| TAPS Institute Andy McNiel Many of us struggle with how to get our lives back to the way they were before our loss. Many of our societal constructs of wellness promote this restorative paradigm of healing after loss. The challenge is that the death of a family member is disruptive and life-altering. When we experience a devastating loss, we do not move backward or return to how
Saturday Morning Message: Treating Ourselves Saturday Morning Message: Treating Ourselves Saturday Morning Message: Treating Ourselves \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, For many of us the past holidays have been stressful, so the first question of 2018 is not about resolutions that can bring on more uneasiness but rather the things we do to treat ourselves. The picture today is of myself and friends at last year’s TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar. This is the treat that I look forward to each year. It is a chance to get together a
Saturday Morning Message: Replying to Comments About Your Grief Journey Saturday Morning Message: Replying to Comments About Your Grief Journey Saturday Morning Message: Replying to Comments About Your Grief Journey Carol Lane Good Morning, This week's question had so many responses that I am going to keep my comments short, but I wanted to send you a picture of a rose, my favorite flower, and have you read this poem, "Don't Tell Me That You Understand," written by Joanetta Hendel and sent by Karl, father of Tre. Karl wrote, "I sent my family and friends this g
Saturday Morning Message: Helping Other Survivors Saturday Morning Message: Helping Other Survivors Saturday Morning Message: Helping Other Survivors Carol Lane Good Morning, Often, people don't know what to say or do around a grieving person. This week's question was answered by survivors who remember what was supportive and helpful when they were first grieving as well as what they do now when a death happens in their network of family or friends. For many of us, just having someone listen to our thoughts and emotions without trying to fi
Saturday Morning Message: Returning to Work Saturday Morning Message: Returning to Work Saturday Morning Message: Returning to Work Carol Lane Good Morning, This picture was taken outside the hotel at the TAPS New England Survivor Seminar last weekend. I thought it was appropriate for a December Saturday Morning Message and have titled it "Blooming Through Adversity." These roses are still blooming despite freezing temperatures and are reaching toward the sun, which you can see filtering through the bushes nearby. Isn't that what we
Saturday Morning Message: Thoughts on the Journey Saturday Morning Message: Thoughts on the Journey Saturday Morning Message: Thoughts on the Journey Carol Lane Good Morning, Last week we were asked to share how events like the recent helicopter training accident in Florida influence our own grief journey. When this happens and deep thought is needed, I go to my favorite places, the beach or the garden. These spots help quiet my mind which is often on overdrive especially when I hear something like this. In an article, National Bereavem
Give Yourself the Gift of Memory Give Yourself the Gift of Memory Give Yourself the Gift of Memory Bob Baugher "How long has it been?" Bereaved people are often asked this question. I ask it of you. How long has it been? Now answer this question. How long does it feel like it's been? A common answer is, "On one hand it feels like yesterday. On the other, it feels like a long time ago." Why do we experience our lives like this? How can something five or ten years ago feel recent, yet something that occurred last week ca
I Never Said Goodbye I Never Said Goodbye I Never Said Goodbye \| TAPS Matt Davison We weren’t very close in the traditional sense not back-slapping buddies, nor kindred spirits. We would never have met on the street we’d have gone our separate ways oblivious to one another. We could never agree on politics, religion, morals — he was the Rock of Gibraltar I was a rolling stone. He was of another time when people still believed in the dream and fought to protect it. He held but one job, loved but one
TAPS Offers College Care Packages TAPS Offers College Care Packages TAPS Offers College Care Packages TAPS TAPS Education Support Services is proud to open the applications for this year's education care packages for incoming college freshmen. Similar in look and feel to the TAPS Survivor Resource Kits sent to families after the loss of their loved ones, these care packages will be specific to surviving children and siblings headed off to college. The care packages will include a variety of items for young adults, includin
You’re Never Alone with TAPS Community Based Care You’re Never Alone with TAPS Community Based Care You’re Never Alone with TAPS Community Based Care TAPS TAPS hosts Seminars, Retreats and Care Groups across the country, but many survivors just aren't ready yet to attend a big event or cannot travel to one of our event locations. That is why our Community Based Care program is a vital part of making sure our survivors never feel alone and are always connected to the resources and support they need right in their own community. We currentl
Two Widows Talk with TIME Magazine Two Widows Talk with TIME Magazine Two Widows Talk with TIME Magazine TAPS Two Widows Who Lost Their Husbands to Suicide Talk with TIME Magazine TIME magazine’s cover story issued today asks why active-duty service members are dying by suicide and features the stories of two widows who both lost their husbands on the same day, March 21, 2012. Both widows are getting peer-based emotional support through TAPS. Leslie McCaddon is the surviving widow of Army Captain Michael McCaddon. McCaddon w
TAPS Survivor Newsletter August 2024 TAPS Survivor Newsletter August 2024 TAPS Survivor Newsletter August 2024 TAPS Media Cars can be much more than a way to get from one place to another. Families make memories in cars, and these memories carry on even after the loss of our loved ones. Thanks to generous support from Ford Motor Company, several TAPS families with meaningful connections to Ford cars and trucks participated in the exciting Ford Off-Roadeo experience in central Texas. Throughout the year, and in partnership with
TAPS Survivor Newsletter October 2024 TAPS Survivor Newsletter October 2024 TAPS Survivor Newsletter October 2024 TAPS Media Surviving families from all over the country joined TAPS on Capitol Hill from September 23 to 26 for TAPS Gold Star Families Advocacy Week. The group met with legislators from both the Senate and House of Representatives, and their powerful stories shed light on issues impacting military and veteran survivors. See how our dedicated team works alongside lawmakers year-round to advance policy that directly im
Video: Jon Stewart urges Military Survivors and Veterans to apply for PACT Act Benefits Video: Jon Stewart urges Military Survivors and Veterans to apply for PACT Act Benefits Video: Jon Stewart Urges Military Survivors and Veterans to apply for PACT Act Benefits \| TAPS TAPS Media Veterans exposed to toxins while serving and survivors whose military and veteran loved ones died of toxic-exposed illnesses may qualify for benefits under #PactAct. You now have until 11:59 p.m. Eastern on Monday, August 14, 2023 to file your PACT Act claim — or submit your intent to file — with the
2021 TAPS Sports & Entertainment Highlight Reel 2021 TAPS Sports & Entertainment Highlight Reel 2021 TAPS Sports & Entertainment Highlight Reel \| TAPS TAPS What a remarkable year for TAPS Sports & Entertainment! In light of challenging times, we are even more thankful for the special in-person and virtual opportunities that our many partners helped provide for our TAPS families. Below is just a fraction of the wonderful events and special moments that took place across the country (and the United Kingdom) to recognize surviving families a
Baseball Cards and Godwinks: Terri Jones' Story Baseball Cards and Godwinks: Terri Jones' Story Baseball Cards and Godwinks: Terri Jones' Story \| TAPS Kelly McHugh-Stewart Terri Jones doesn’t know where the baseball cards are coming from, but regardless, she keeps finding them. She spots them when she’s out mowing her lawn or walking in the corn fields around her Iowa farmhouse. The players featured on the cards she finds played mostly in the 1980’s and 90’s, the same years her son, U.S. Army SPC Jason Cooper, played ball. And they just k
TAPS Survivor Newsletter November 2022 TAPS Survivor Newsletter November 2022 TAPS Survivor Newsletter November 2022 TAPS Media TAPS is our family, a safe space where we honor our loved ones and remember lives lived in selfless service to America. While it is a folded American flag that brought us together, now it is an outstretched hand, a newfound friend, a caring voice on the phone, an encouraging text, or a reunion at a TAPS event that lets us know we are not alone. From Bonnie Carroll, TAPS President and Founder
Video: A Conversation on Loss & Resilience in a Life of Adventure Video: A Conversation on Loss & Resilience in a Life of Adventure Video: A Conversation on Loss & Resilience in a Life of Adventure \| TAPS Institute Vern Tejas Will Gadd The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) Expedition team members and survivors Rachel Hunsell and Gabriel Rao and two world-class explorers, Vern Tejas and Will Gadd, navigate conversations around life, loss, and resilience in a life of adventure. They dive into personal stories and adventures to recount the experie
Video: TAPS Is Here for You TAPS Talks Video: TAPS Is Here for You Video: TAPS Is Here for You \| TAPS Institute Bonnie Carroll Audri Beugelsdijk Brittany Bonin-Bruder Join your TAPS Family for a conversation about TAPS sharing our mission, grief support services offered, and casework support available. Have questions ready for our casework team regarding benefits and assistance for you during this challenging time and be prepared to get involved in all TAPS has to offer! This live connection, recorded by the TAPS Instit
TAPS Launches Critical Suicide Prevention Awareness Training TAPS Launches Critical Suicide Prevention Awareness Training TAPS Launches Critical Suicide Prevention Awareness Training TAPS The TAPS Suicide Prevention & Postvention will soon launch critical suicide prevention awareness training at Veteran Centers in California. Training will include education on: Trauma & Grief: Supporting Families of the Fallen; Grief to Growth: A Roadmap to a Healthy Grief Journey; and Spouses and Suicide: Finding Hope When the Unthinkable Happens. The Safeway Found
NFL Auction Benefits TAPS NFL Auction Benefits TAPS NFL Auction Benefits TAPS TAPS As one of the four official charity partners of the NFL, TAPS benefits from the proceeds of auctions for official NFL items, exclusive Super Bowl Packages and authentic signed and game-used items from your favorite teams and players. Over the past five years, NFL Auction has donated more than $5 million to NFL and team charities and nonprofits. The NFL does not retain any profits generated by the sale of products on the NFL Auction pla
Talking to Children About Suicide Talking to Children About Suicide Talking to Children About Suicide Kim Ruocco One of the most challenging issues following a death by suicide is what and how to tell children. Widespread inaccurate information compounds this already challenging issue for those caring for grieving children. When a loved one dies by suicide, it could take some time to trust your instincts and follow your heart again, so credible information and trustworthy guidance is critical. Children are egocentric, me
Khobar Towers 20th Anniversary: Then and Now Khobar Towers 20th Anniversary: Then and Now Khobar Towers Anniversary: Then and Now \| TAPS Marie Campbell TAPS has provided frontline care and resources to families of the military fallen for 22 years. In 1996, the terrorist bombing of Khobar Towers in Saudi Arabia took the lives of 19 U.S. Air Force personnel and wounded hundreds more. While an act of cowardice claimed these lives, with acts of courage the surviving families reclaimed their futures. TAPS was there, reaching out with care an
5th Annual TAPS Celebrity Classic 5th Annual TAPS Celebrity Classic 5th Annual TAPS Celebrity Classic TAPS The Colorado Honor Corps, led by Lynne and Bo Cottrell, hit another homerun this year with the 5th annual TAPS Celebrity Classic raising more than $400,000 for TAPS! The Cottrells have been organizing the Celebrity Classic for five years, ever since a high school friend of Bo’s lost his son in Iraq and turned to TAPS for support. New celebrity hosts Larry, Steve, and Rudy Gatlin brought an exciting, distinctive sizzl
Make the Most of Time at Home: Share Your Loved One’s Story Make the Most of Time at Home: Share Your Loved One’s Story Make the Most of Time at Home: Share Your Loved One’s Story \| TAPS Kerry Ward As we navigate these uncertain times, I have found that there is a silver lining with spending more time in the house: it has forced me to focus on projects I hadn’t yet had time to tackle. As I cleaned out my hall closet, I found myself face-to-face with memories I hadn’t thought about in years. I called an old friend and told her about a specific photo th
5 Things Professionals Learned After 9/11 5 Things Professionals Learned After 9/11 5 Things Professionals Learned After 9/11 Heidi Horsley Since Sept. 11, 2001, we have come a long way, and I have watched as bereaved families have once again found hope. I was honored to spend 10 years with 9/11 firefighter families, taking the grief journey with them, when I worked with the FDNY/Columbia University Family Guidance Program. The research study looked at traumatic loss over time in families who had lost a firefighter in the World Trad
Visions of Michael Visions of Michael Loretta Krause * Surviving Mother of Retired Army MAJ Michael Krause After my son, Michael, died on Oct. 28, 2020, I searched for answers in books about grief and death. Is there a heaven? Is he really gone? Why? I was surprised by how often authors cited a connection between this world and the spirit world. Encounters years earlier — including seeing my father’s apparition the evening after his death in 1982 — convinced me a spiritual realm existed and interacted with the
When You Really Don’t Feel Like Celebrating Facing Holidays and Special Occasions in Grief When You Really Don’t Feel Like Celebrating Facing Holidays and Special Occasions in Grief When You Really Don’t Feel Like Celebrating Facing Holidays and Special Occasions in Grief \| TAPS William Hoy The sights, sounds, and smells of the holidays remind grieving people that this year things are very different. In fact, you may find yourself dreading the holiday season more than any other time of year. Special occasions make it hard to grieve. Special days are filled with sentiment, and tha
Holiday Tribute Trees: A Powerful Way to Remember and Honor our Military Loved Ones Holiday Tribute Trees: A Powerful Way to Remember and Honor our Military Loved Ones Holiday Tribute Trees: A Powerful Way to Remember and Honor our Military Loved Ones \| TAPS TAPS When you lose someone you love, the holiday season takes on a whole new meaning. What once was the “most wonderful time of the year” might now feel anything but. Suddenly there is an empty chair at your table and an empty stocking on your mantel. Old traditions might not feel quite right anymore, so what do you do?
Please Say Their Name: The Importance of Honoring and Remembering Please Say Their Name: The Importance of Honoring and Remembering Please Say Their Name: The Importance of Honoring and Remembering \| TAPS Pamela Gabbay My father, Jerry Henry, was in the Army for my entire childhood. We lived all over the United States and in Germany. I really enjoyed being part of the larger military community. After he retired from the Army, he became a long-distance truck driver who drove an 18-wheeler. Late one night, he crashed his big rig on one of his many runs and di
Tending the Garden of Grief with Mindfulness Meditation Tending the Garden of Grief with Mindfulness Meditation Tending the Garden of Grief with Mindfulness Meditation \| TAPS Heather Stang In my small, mid-Maryland farming town, autumn is a time of harvest and abundance. Farmers markets are in full swing, nourishing our bodies with healthy vegetables and filling our senses with vibrant colors and smells. And yet, it is also a time when nature’s energy begins to wind down in preparation for winter, which I like to think of as nature’s sacred pause.
Loving Again After the Loss of an Intimate Partner Loving Again After the Loss of an Intimate Partner Loving Again After the Loss of an Intimate Partner \| TAPS Carla Stumpf Patton Love and intimacy are sensitive and very personal topics. Finding love again after the death of an intimate partner can be a joyous experience for those who are ready. However, this type of life transition can raise issues around trust, intimacy, and communication. It can also present unique challenges for those with children or when considering blending families.
Saturday Morning Message: Attending Funerals After Loss of a Loved One Saturday Morning Message: Attending Funerals After Loss of a Loved One Saturday Morning Message: Attending Funerals After Loss of a Loved One \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, The picture today comes from the article, “Blooms of Hope: Finding Strength Amid Devastation,” written by Ellen, fiancée of David. I thought it would be a good opening to this week’s message since Ellen presented the question. In the article, she compares the gradual return of her neighborhood after Hurricane Michael to
Saturday Morning Message: Objects that Help Heal Saturday Morning Message: Objects that Help Heal Saturday Morning Message: Objects that Help Heal \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, This week’s question brought not only responses, but several pictures and an extra song. This picture of comes from Leslie, mother of Eugene. The plant is a cactus and you will read how it is special to her later in the message. I know you will find joy from all the replies this week, so I will keep my comments short and let you go forward. Thank you to
Saturday Morning Message: Self Care Strategies Saturday Morning Message: Self-Care Strategies Saturday Morning Message: Self Care Strategies \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, Today we are sharing some of what we do to practice self-care. Taking care of yourself while grieving can be the last thing on your mind, but it is important. In addition to the responses from survivors about what has helped them, I want to include several articles TAPS has published with ideas to help with grieving. “Gifts of grief: Tools to help you through,” writte
When Family Traditions Change When Family Traditions Change When Family Traditions Change \| TAPS August Cabrera Editor’s note: November is Children’s Grief Awareness Month. Throughout this month, we have featured stories from surviving children, parents, grief professionals and TAPS staff to draw attention to the needs of grieving children, their experiences and how best to support them. I have a picture of my boys from seven years ago: One is wearing a new striped polo, the other a Niagara Falls T-shirt from
Real Men Do Cry Real Men Do Cry Real Men Do Cry Jon Ganues Always the alpha male, I was used to denying myself any show of weakness. I had to show strength, control and the ability to fix anything with a roll of duct tape. But I learned duct tape can’t fix some things – like a broken heart or family relationships when there are differences in grief expression. I lost my son, Airman 1st Class Jon Wesley Ganues, Jr., on June 2, 2009, to suicide, five days before his squadron deployed to Iraq. He was a secur
Attending Funerals After Loss Attending Funerals After Loss Attending Funerals After Loss Bevin Landrum When our hearts are newly broken and the magnitude of our losses seems insurmountable, it is hard to think beyond the surreal moments of your own hero's memorial service, wake or funeral. Whether your loved one is laid to rest in Arlington National Cemetery or under a tall oak in the family cemetery plot, that location and experience is consuming. You feel as if you will never attend another funeral again. How could you
Hope Against All Hope Hope Against All Hope Hope Against All Hope Linda Ambard Like most people, I assumed I knew how my life trajectory would evolve and I trusted that prayers would keep Phil safe from harm. I believed ultimately life was fair and good things happened if I just waited long enough or believed strong enough. Phil's death caused a quake in my belief system and it has made me question who I am, what I stand for, and what I carry in my heart. I am different because I know better. When Phil deplo
What do you say? What do you say? What do you say? TAPS (When someone asks how you are feeling) No matter what the season, answering the question of how we are doing is just plain difficult. There is no right or wrong way to respond, but following are some ideas from TAPS survivors. Perhaps their thoughts will help you to formulate your own response when you are asked how you are doing. From Carolyn Cagle, surviving mother of Lance Corporal John Cagle The end of the first year of his death is closing in
Tips for Scholarship Season Tips for Scholarship Season Tips for Scholarship Season Ashlynne Haycock-Lohmann Emily McClimans first came to TAPS through Good Grief Camp after her father, Army Capt. Joshua McClimans, was killed in action in Afghanistan in 2011. While she dreamed of attending Texas Christian University, Emily wasn't sure how to realize her hopes of attending an expensive private school. Then, at the 2015 National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp, she attended a TAPS Education Support Service
The Year of Firsts The Year of "Firsts" The Year of Firsts \| TAPS Stephanie Frogge Managing the Holiday Season For the recently bereaved, the year of “firsts” is an immediate challenge. Each holiday, significant event, personal milestone and family tradition can throw a spotlight on the unremitting ache of our beloved’s absence. We may be in the midst of emotional overload and depleted energy, but the calendar tells us that we’re expected to have some response to holidays and occasions. Mid-November through
Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Fond Memories Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Fond Memories Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Fond Memories \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, This week I was thrilled to receive so many wonderful articles from survivors sharing a variety of scents, songs, sights or food that remind them of their loved ones. I will keep my comments short, so you can get right to reading all the selections and get to know more about these special people who served their country. Thank you to all who reply or read the Messag
Saturday Morning Message: The Care of Our Loved Ones' Belongings Saturday Morning Message: The Care of Our Loved Ones' Belongings Saturday Morning Message: The Care of Our Loved Ones' Carol Lane Good Morning, Mother's Day is tomorrow, and it can be difficult for many. If support is needed, keep the TAPS Survivor Helpline number, 800-959-TAPS (8277), handy. This week Caryn, mother of Nathan, sent a song that brings her some relief. You will find it in the Song for the Week section of this message. Last week's question was about how we care for our lov
A Child's Experience of Trauma A Child's Experience of Trauma A Child's Experience of Trauma Lisa Hudson My son's experience has been unique. Will never knew his father, yet he has experienced the grief of absence, growing up without a father. It surfaced first when he went to first grade and recognized that other boys had dads who went fishing with them, did Cub Scout projects and campouts, let them help around the house, or played football in the backyard. It surfaced again between his sixteenth and seventeenth year,
My Experience of Trauma My Experience of Trauma My Experience of Trauma Lisa Hudson Excerpted from How Do We Tell the Children by Dan Schaeffer When I went to bed on the night of October 22, 1983, my life was stable, predictable, safe, and happy. Within twenty-four hours, my world toppled, shattering into a million pieces. On October 23, the Marine Corps barracks where my husband lived was bombed, killing 241 service members as they slept. I felt terror, fear, panic, anxiety, worry, and confusion. I couldn't sle
I Didn’t Cry This Morning I Didn’t Cry This Morning I Didn’t Cry This Morning Dennis Apple During my lifetime I have endured a few severe winters. These were the winters when the wind was bitter cold, when several days passed without the appearance of the sun. The snowfall was extremely heavy, and travel was difficult. During those winters, I eagerly looked forward to the first signs of spring. As we approached the end of February and rolled into March, I knew the signs to look for. We have a tulip bed in our fron
Understanding A Widow’s Heart, Part Two Understanding A Widow’s Heart, Part Two Understanding A Widow’s Heart, Part Two Emma Wright Talking About the Hard Stuff Summer 2012 I could be setting myself up for failure as most of what has been weighing on my mind is difficult to discuss. The repercussions could intensify how alienated I feel, but in some lengthy conversations with my personal advisor (Mom), I was gently reminded that if we don't talk about the hard stuff, we don't change the hard stuff. Since last year's globa
Saturday Morning Message: Our Loved One's Special Quality Saturday Morning Message: Our Loved One's Special Quality Saturday Morning Message: Our Loved One's Special Quality Carol Lane Good Morning, This week survivors shared a special ability or "knack" that made their loved one unique. It is those memories that help us all who read the Saturday message get to know these brave men and women. Survivors have told me that once they read the Saturday message, they think of an answer to the question, but then we are on to a new question. Please sen
How Do We Go On Without Him? How Do We Go On Without Him? How Do We Go On Without Him? Cindy Surprenant It was a cold, dreary, wet November morning in Oregon. I’d just grabbed a pair of wool socks to ward off the cold when I heard the doorbell ring. I felt a sense of panic. Anyone in our small town who knew us knew that we were usually in church Sunday morning. As I made my way down the hallway, the cold penetrated my soles and a chill coursed through me. An unfamiliar voice asked if I was home. Oddly, my husband, who ha
Mother and Son, A Life and Legacy Together Mother and Son, A Life and Legacy Together Mother and Son, A Life and Legacy Together Lisa Hudson Reflections of a 26 year journey In October 1983, Navy Lieutenant John Hudson was packing to return from a deployment to Beirut, Lebanon, where he was serving as a medical officer and surgeon to 1,800 Marines. Waiting at home was Lisa, his wife of three years, and their 8-month-old son Will. Lisa adored John and felt she was living in a fairy tale. John, a graduate of the Medical College of
Love Is Never Forgotten: Dealing With Trauma Re-Triggered by Current Events Love Is Never Forgotten: Dealing With Trauma Re-Triggered by Current Events Love Is Never Forgotten: Dealing With Trauma Re-Triggered by Current Events \| TAPS Briana Hobbs My dad embarked on a journey to fight for Afghan freedom in 2004. Journey best describes anything my dad did. He didn’t just do things– he embodied them. In everything he did, he was all in. As a unique renaissance man, he had a charisma that drew people in and made them fall in love. He was a creative weirdo, philosoph
The Benefits of Walking Outside The Benefits of Walking Outside The Benefits of Walking Outside \| TAPS Tony Paz On a very cold winter day not too long ago, I was out on a wooded trail only a few minutes from home. It was overcast and gray. The water falling from the sky couldn’t quite make up its mind whether it was rain, drizzle, or simply a fine mist permeating everything. The wind decided to show up too, directing some of the moisture sideways onto my face. Yet there I was, moving along at a brisk p
Marine vet recognized as 2019 Military Mentor of the Year Marine vet recognized as 2019 Military Mentor of the Year Marine vet recognized as 2019 Military Mentor of the Year \| TAPS Lalaine Estella For children who attend TAPS Good Grief Camp he’s known as the tall guy with the winning smile who seems to know exactly what to do when they need a shoulder to cry on. He’s also known as the guy who’s always ready with a hug or silly joke to prompt a giggle. He’ll paint his nails in a rainbow of colors at TAPS seminars and often brings along an elf doll
Vision Board: Creating a Life You Envision Vision Board: Creating a Life You Envision Vision Board: Creating a Life You Envision \| TAPS Erin Jacobson Do you need help creating a roadmap for the life you envision for yourself? This New Year, instead of making a quick resolution or two, set aside time to imagine what your life would be like in the best possible scenario. What would it be like to choose new dreams or new purpose, even in our grief? Bring to your mind’s eye what that might look like. What are the things that surround yo
Young Adults build resilience and strength Young Adults build resilience and strength Young Adults build resilience and strength \| TAPS Lalaine Estella As a single parent, veteran and survivor, Renee Monczynski has learned a few things about resilience and strength and what it takes to adjust to a new normal. As head of TAPS’ Young Adult Program, she shares what she’s learned with those who are navigating the often emotional transition from childhood to adulthood. At the recent TAPS Southern Regional Seminar and Good Grief Camp, Rene
4 Ways to Find the Light This Holiday Season 4 Ways to Find the Light This Holiday Season 4 Ways to Find the Light This Holiday Season \| TAPS Zaneta Gileno Many among us feel challenged during this season of gratitude and gathering. As I struggle to find gratitude while integrating the pain of loss, I'm reminded of a favorite quote by Dieter F. Uchtdorf. He states, "Being grateful in times of distress does not mean we are pleased with our circumstances. It does mean that through the eyes of faith we look beyond our present-day challenge
5 Tips for Self-Care on Memorial Day 5 Tips for Self-Care on Memorial Day 5 Tips for Self-Care on Memorial Day \| TAPS Zaneta Gileno Whether this is your first Memorial Day or one of many since the passing of your loved one, this weekend can be especially challenging. On difficult holidays such as this, it’s important to practice self-care. Here are five tips to help you prepare for Memorial Day weekend and care for yourself: 1. Have a plan It can be tempting to go into the weekend without a real plan in efforts to avoid it
5 Ways to Honor Your Surviving Military Child 5 Ways to Honor Your Surviving Military Child 5 Ways to Honor Your Surviving Military Child Jonathan Kirkendall April is Month of the Military Child. And too often, our surviving military children don’t feel like they are part of this community of kids any longer. Here are some ideas for how to honor your surviving military children this month (and every month) to help them know they are part of this family and worth celebrating. 1. Let them know that April is Month of the Military Child
Afraid To Be Happy Afraid To Be Happy Afraid To Be Happy Linda Ambard When Phil was killed, I cried a lot. I couldn't keep it together. Prior to that, I hadn't cried in 42 years. Thus, to be crying on airplanes, while running, and to wake up weeping was a discombobulating feeling. I had no control of my life and only be morphing into a numb waking state was I able to survive the implosion of my life. As time lapsed, I have found myself doing things I never thought I could do, but it wasn't until recently I reco
Just Love at IslandWood Just Love at IslandWood Just Love at IslandWood Chelsea Martin When I stepped off the plane into Seattle, Washington, I had no idea what a family campout was going to entail. All I knew was that my son was excited to get his hands dirty and play outside. Once getting to IslandWood, I was blown away by the scenic view of the thick forest, the lush green grass and ferns, and the calmness I felt. There was no sound of city life, lawnmowers, or cars honking. I heard birds chirping, leaves blowin
Support When You Need It Support When You Need It Support When You Need It Misty Blum Some people describe the unexpected death of a spouse as having the air suddenly taken from their lungs, but I would have to disagree. I know that lack of air is certain death. It's been nearly three years since my husband died, and I'm still here. I think the death of a spouse or other close loved one is more like the loss of a limb. In most cases, it won't kill you but it will permanently alter every aspect of your life and how yo
You’re Not Alone: Connections Across the Seasons You’re Not Alone: Connections Across the Seasons You’re Not Alone: Connections Across the Seasons Zaneta Gileno Grief is not convenient or courteous. It has no problem making itself known during holidays or on the weekends. As we move forward into the season of holidays, closed businesses and inconsistent schedules, know that you can always count on TAPS to be standing by to wrap you in comfort and support. The final pieces are coming together for amazing programming in the new year. T
Happy Father's Day Happy Father's Day Happy Father's Day Terry Meyer Happy Father's Day. It used to be. I can recall few details about each one I experienced, but I do remember it being special because either the kids were still at home and we did something special, or the kids were grown and I would receive a special phone call and good conversation with them. Either way, it was a day that reminded me of the special blessings that come from having children and carrying the honored title of "Dad." I remem