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Saturday Morning Message: Events that have the Power to Heal Saturday Morning Message: Events that have the Power to Heal Saturday Morning Message: Events that have the Power to Heal \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, TAPS has many events throughout the year. This picture shows survivors at a Brooklyn Nets practice. Visit the TAPS events calendar to see which upcoming TAPS Events are interesting to you. No matter which ones you choose to attend, the support you will find is comforting, as you will read in the responses survivors share this week. Reme
In the Kitchen In the Kitchen How One Family's Grief Plays out in the Kitchen - TAPS News Patty Reis Our family grief plays out in the kitchen. We discovered early in our grief that when I attempted tasks in the kitchen they often resulted in something burning. I would start a meal, fire up the stove and soon discover, from the other side of the house, that I had forgotten about the culinary effort started only minutes before. Many a pot full of charred, best-intention delicacies were left outside the back
Transforming Experience Into Advocacy Transforming Experience Into Advocacy Transforming Experience Into Advocacy Kim Ruocco and Emily Munoz There was a moment at last year's National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar when I looked around at a room filled with people I trust and respect - many of whom feel like family - and felt a rush of contentment. But then, in the midst of the overwhelming gratitude for the richness of my life, a terrible thought struck me. I realized that if not for the death of my husband, John, I would not
Honor and Remember Honor and Remember Honor and Remember George Lutz We've all heard the expression that freedom isn't free. That phrase became all too real to me on December 30, 2005. I got a knock on the door from two uniformed soldiers who spoke to me five simple words that changed my life forever: “We regret to inform you.” My oldest son Tony had been killed the day before by a sniper's bullet while on patrol in Fallujah, Iraq. The word “devastation” doesn’t begin to describe the flood of emotion th
App Review: My Good Grief Journal for Kids App Review: My Good Grief Journal for Kids App Review: My Good Grief Journal for Kids Cheryl Kreutter For both children and adults, writing and drawing are useful tools for unpacking grief. The “My Good Grief Journal for Kids” app for iPad, a digital grief journal created specifically for children, provides children both space and structure to record memories, thoughts and feelings about a loved one who has died. While an adult is required to provide guidance on the app, it is the colorful pi
Run and Remember: Running the MCM for TAPS Run and Remember: Running the MCM for TAPS Run and Remember: Running the MCM for TAPS David Easley In 2010, Telos Corporation had been a financial sponsor of TAPS for several years, but wanted to step up its involvement with this great organization. The company decided to do this by accepting the Corporate Challenge with TAPS Run and Remember Team. Telos employees would train for and run the Marine Corps Marathon (MCM) in memory of a fallen service member and each Telos runner would be connec
Introducing Bunnie Jacquay Introducing Bunnie Jacquay Introducing Bunnie Jacquay Bunnie Jacquay Welcome to my journey: a world of choice and change that constantly collides with the desire to just curl up in a ball and hide while I cry. I have met some extraordinary people along the way, and I also have been blessed to have the support and understanding from an amazing group of friends. There have been a constant few, affectionately named the Cody Comfort Club, who have been with me for every step of the journey and we
Get Involved, Meet Your Peers in the TAPS Young Adults Program Get Involved, Meet Your Peers in the TAPS Young Adults Program Get Involved, Meet Your Peers in the TAPS Young Adults Program TAPS For military surviving children and siblings ages 18 to 30, the TAPS Young Adults Program focuses on 5 Pillars of Growth and Healing during your grief journey—personal development, career guidance, communications, financial stability, and service to others. Whether you are a TAPS Good Grief Camp graduate or new to our TAPS family, please know you have a place here
7 Ways to Help Grieving Children During the Holidays 7 Ways to Help Grieving Children During the Holidays 7 Ways to Help Grieving Children During the Holidays \| TAPS Heather Stang Grief during the holidays serves up a perfect storm where joyous memories crash against reality and expectations, something that is especially tough when it’s a child who’s grieving. I know this firsthand. On October 18, 1977, my uncle Doug died by suicide. I was 7 years old. While I don’t remember the specifics of the Thanksgiving and Christmas that followed, what I
In My Dreams In My Dreams In My Dreams Linda Ambard I am nearing the three year marker of my journey without Phil. I never thought I could make it through a day without knowing he was in my life, but I am finding my footing and making my way. While I have grown increasingly confident in my footing and in my purpose for my future, I still yearn for the man who chose me even when it cost him so much. There has never been a day that I haven’t wanted to share something with him or that I hadn’t had a quiet
Reaching Out to Others Reaching Out to Others Reaching Out to Others Darcie Sims Grief can be so isolating. We may find ourselves exhausted beyond our capabilities, hurt beyond endurance, and lonely beyond belief. No one seems to know what to say or how to behave around us. Many of us have discovered we are grieving not just the death of our loved one, but the loss of friendships, self-esteem, and self-identity as well. When our loved one died, we were surrounded by people, but the silence was deafening. Hardly
Traveling with Wreaths Across America Traveling with Wreaths Across America Traveling with Wreaths Across America Jill Stephenson My only child, Corporal Benjamin Kopp, an Army Ranger, died on July 18, 2009 of wounds he suffered during his third deployment in 2009. In his final wishes, he requested that he be laid to rest at Arlington National Cemetery. This made perfect sense to me, and although I live in Minnesota, I didn’t hesitate to honor his wish. Several months later, people began asking me if I was coming back to Arli
Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging Jerry Landrum War correspondent and documentarian Sebastian Junger’s latest book deals with the failure of American society to reintegrate American soldiers returning home from combat. Junger is most known for his book “The Perfect Storm: A True Story of Men Against the Sea” and his film documentary “Restrepo.” Given his deep connection with soldiers and experience as a war correspondent, Junger’s perspective is based on ra
A Breath of Summertime—Anytime A Breath of Summertime—Anytime A Breath of Summertime—Anytime Darcie Sims It’s summer and the air is warm upon my face. The sunlight dances across the grass, casting tiny shadows of the dandelions that wave in the afternoon breeze. It’s nice here, sitting on the step, letting my mind wander, not really thinking of anything much. It’s been a long time since I was able to just sit and enjoy the gentle rhythms of a summer’s day. Do you remember summer? Summer, that wonderful reprieve from w
Klinger’s Korner: Understanding Your Child’s Unique Way of Being in the World Klinger’s Korner: Understanding Your Child’s Unique Way of Being in the World Klinger’s Korner: Understanding Your Child’s Unique Way of Being in the World \| TAPS Andy McNiel How can three children grow up in the same household and be so entirely different? Many factors play a role in shaping who a child is, how they develop, and the person they become. Some of these factors include their genetics (the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree), their birth order, household circumstances duri
TAPS Survivor Newsletter May 2023 TAPS Survivor Newsletter May 2023 TAPS Survivor Newsletter May 2023 TAPS Media For most Americans, Memorial Day is just one day. But for all of us at TAPS, Memorial Day is every day . The service and sacrifice recognized for a moment by our fellow citizens on the last Monday in May are ours to bear, with pain and pride, forever. Some spend the day marking the beginning of summer, but we spend the day honoring our heroes. We visit the graves of our loved ones, remember great love, and rededica
Winter Wallowing Winter Wallowing Winter Wallowing Darcie Sims Though winter seems to have more than its share of less than wondrous days, occasionally we have an especially down day. Some days aren't too bad. They start out kind of slowly, like a reluctant first grader, but gather momentum as the hours flow by. Some days get a jump-start on me. By the time I hit the shower, I'm functioning without feeling, so much like those early foggy days of grief. Those are the days when hot cocoa and a bowl of st
Citi Salutes Atlanta Network Raise $8400 for TAPS in 1 Hour Citi Salutes Atlanta Network Raise $8400 for TAPS in 1 Hour Citi Salutes Atlanta Network Raise $8400 for TAPS in 1 Hour TAPS Commitment to supporting veterans, those currently serving and military families runs deep for David Stockslager and Benjamin Feldman. Before they worked for Citi Retail Services in Atlanta, Georgia, they both served in the military and continue to feel a deep obligation to remain involved in the military support community. When asked to co-chair the Citi Salutes A
Bonds with the Deceased Don’t Have to End Bonds with the Deceased Don’t Have to End Bonds with the Deceased Don’t Have to End Gloria Horsley Heidi Horsley “Scott is dead!” These are the dreaded words that no parent or sibling should ever have to hear, words that irrevocably changed our lives forever. We heard these words in 1983, when Scott Horsley, our beloved son and brother, died in a fiery collision when the car in which he was a passenger hydroplaned and slammed into a bridge abutment. In an instant, Scott’s life was snuffed
The Richard Tree: Never Forgotten The Richard Tree: Never Forgotten The Richard Tree: Never Forgotten Ester Allgower Christmas 2010 came four short months after the death of my 29-year-old son, Cpl. Richard Allgower. As the holiday approached, neither my husband, daughter nor I could find any Christmas spirit. In fact, we wanted desperately to avoid the sadness we felt as everyone around us was wrapped up in holiday planning. We needed to get away from the pervasive joy in the air this time of year. What could we do to av
Children’s Bereavement and Emotional Wellness, Part 1 Children’s Bereavement and Emotional Wellness, Part 1 Children’s Bereavement and Emotional Wellness, Part 1 Andrea Hug I vividly remember when my husband died. My children were four, two, and four months old. I hardly knew how to be a parent, let alone a sole parent to bereaved children. I remember going to see a counselor and saying, “What do I need to know to help these children grow up to be happy, healthy, productive members of society?” Now, 18 years later, I offer to you what I have gle
So You Think You’re Going Crazy? So You Think You’re Going Crazy? So You Think You’re Going Crazy? Darcie Sims I first began to think about going crazy shortly after our son died. It seemed innocent enough in the beginning. Just an occasional sound that came from his bedroom or a whiff of his scent that would catch me by surprise. I didn’t think much of it. In fact, I rather enjoyed those little reminders of him. But after sharing my first encounter with him with a neighbor, I knew the rest of the world would think me daft.
Letters from TAPS: Navigating Men’s Grief Letters from TAPS: Navigating Men’s Grief Letters from TAPS: Navigating Men’s Grief Gabriel Rao Dear TAPS Family, What does it feel like to hike the Appalachians' most challenging peaks? To reel in a trout while fly fishing in a remote corner of Montana's breathtaking wilderness? To share these experiences with a group of men who get it? Profound. Recent evolutions at TAPS provide a space solely for men to explore beautiful locales of our great American landscape while navigating togethe
TAPS Care Groups: A Source of Connection, Hope and Healing In Your Local Community TAPS Care Groups: A Source of Connection, Hope and Healing In Your Local Community TAPS Care Groups: A Source of Connection, Hope and Healing In Your Local Community TAPS TAPS Care Groups are safe, welcoming spaces in your local area — a community of peers within your community, those who understand grief because they’re experiencing it too. And, like you, they are seeking connection, hope, and healing. For Annette Montante, the surviving aunt of U.S. Marine Corps Sgt Tristan Charles Bet
A Garden Spade Can Help Heal A Garden Spade Can Help Heal A Garden Spade Can Help Heal Christi Larsen The Memorial Garden Tour is an annual event that supports TAPS and the Wounded Warrior Project through The Cole William Larsen Foundation, a 501(c) 3 public charity. Gardening can be such a personal journey; it’s not just about planting a seed and watching it grow. It is a process in which you tend and nurture and then stand back and watch in amazement. It can be extremely therapeutic: interacting with the plants and
A Time of Thankfulness A Time of Thankfulness A Time of Thankfulness Rachael Hill The holiday season is one that can be very difficult when you are missing someone you love. Everything is about family dinners and family outings. Family, family, family. While I love spending time with my boys and our friends that have become like family, there is always that stinging reminder that my “family” is not complete since my husband is no longer with us. I have many friends on Facebook doing the “30 days of thankfulness a
TAPS Care Package for College Freshmen TAPS Care Package for College Freshmen TAPS Care Package for College Freshmen \| TAPS TAPS TAPS Education Support Services is excited to open the application period to sign up to receive this year's Education Care Packages for incoming college freshmen. These care packages are for surviving children and siblings headed off to their first year of college. The care packages include a variety of items for young adults, including a TAPS Education Resource Report — a specialized document with in
6 Ways to Honor Surviving Loved Ones on This Gold Star Mother’s and Family’s Day 6 Ways to Honor Surviving Loved Ones on This Gold Star Mother’s and Family’s Day 6 Ways to Honor Surviving Loved Ones on This Gold Star Mother’s and Family’s Day Marilyn Weisenburg The Senate established Gold Star Mother’s and Family’s Day in 1936, and every year, our President makes a proclamation to express love, sorrow and honor towards those families considered to be Gold Star Families. How can you demonstrate your love and respect for those loved ones who died while serving in the mil
Reflections of Yesterday Reflections of Yesterday Reflections of Yesterday Bob Bagosy On September 23, 2013 I traveled to the UK with a group of TAPS parents, who just like me, had their son die in Iraq, Afghanistan, or at home. We went to the UK to meet and visit fellow parents who had their sons die in military service. On September 24, 2013 I arrived in London and took a taxi to our hotel, the Victory Service Club - a British Military Club built in 1907 in the heart of London. I spent some time with TAPS peop
Saturday Morning Message: Meaningful Objects Saturday Morning Message: Meaningful Objects Saturday Morning Message: Meaningful Objects \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, This week survivors wrote about items that celebrate the love they have for their special people. Some told about items that were worn by their loved ones while others wrote about objects they bought or were given to them by those who wanted to show their care. The picture comes from Charlene, mother of Devin. I thought you would enjoy reading why the picture sh
Seek Reconciliation, Not Resolution Seek Reconciliation, Not Resolution Seek Reconciliation, Not Resolution Alan Wolfelt “Mourning never really ends. Only as time goes on, it erupts less frequently.” ~ Anonymous How do you ever find your way out of the wilderness of your grief? You don't have to dwell there forever, do you? The good news is that no, you don't have to dwell there forever. If you follow the trail markers on your journey through the wilderness, you will find your way out. But just as with any significant exper
The Story of Us The Story of Us The Story of Us Jenna Grassbaugh Love, Loss, Grief, Healing, and Everything in Between My husband once told me that despite the challenges life, law school, and the future might bring, all that mattered at the end of the day was that we had each other. He told me he would love me through the best of the best times and the worst of the worst. He was standing at a pay phone in Iraq when he uttered these words. Just a few months later, the worst of the worst times would begin f
Growing Up TAPS: Leaning Into Your Influence as a Parent Growing Up TAPS: Leaning Into Your Influence as a Parent Growing Up TAPS: Leaning Into Your Influence as a Parent Andy McNiel It is not easy to be a parent today. We compete with so many other things that demand our children’s attention and fill their minds with messages that shape how they see themselves, others, and the world around them. I have had many parents express their frustrations about this current situation and wonder if they even have any sway in their child’s life. Sometimes it
The Challenge of Moving Beyond Our Sorrow The Challenge of Moving Beyond Our Sorrow The Challenge of Moving Beyond Our Sorrow \| TAPS Judy Tatelbaum A tolling weight on our shoulders after the death of a loved one is the sorrow that we must endure knowing that they can no longer be part of our futures. As we grieve, reminders of our lost hopes and dreams, ones that we wished to celebrate with our loved ones, can be excruciatingly painful. The Pain of Letting Our Hopes and Dreams Go Just three years younger than my brother David,
Gold Star Families: We Are the Best Versions of the Worst-Case Scenarios Gold Star Families: We Are the Best Versions of the Worst-Case Scenarios Gold Star Families: We Are the Best Versions of the Worst-Case Scenarios Emily Munoz I’ve been a nightmare at multiple points in my life. I’m pretty sure my younger brother can vouch for that. So, frankly, can Sallie Mae (I’m sorry, but I just couldn't handle those coupon books), my tax preparer (I love you, Amy!) and anyone with whom I’ve ever shared a hotel room. I think on some level we all want to live the dream.
Five Reasons to Bring Your Kids to the National Military Survivor Suicide Seminar Five Reasons to Bring Your Kids to the National Military Survivor Suicide Seminar Five Reasons to Bring Your Kids to the National Military Survivor Suicide Seminar \| TAPS Karissa Kelley Protecting children from harm, guarding their innocence, and providing a happy childhood are paramount goals in the mind of a loving caregiver. Words like “death,” “suicide,” and “grief” may not seem to fit with this vision of a happy childhood. Attending a National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar (NMSSS) i
3 Ways to Keep Your Loved One Close at the Holidays 3 Ways to Keep Your Loved One Close at the Holidays 3 Ways to Keep Your Loved One Close at the Holidays \| TAPS Sharon Forbes Being part of a military family, we can already relate to missing our loved ones as we celebrate Thanksgiving and the start of the holiday season. Deployments and assignments often kept them from our festive dinner tables. But, being separated from our loved ones in this new way can bring on some overwhelming feelings of time lost and a presence missed. Still, there
Letters from TAPS: From Special Events and Communications Letters from TAPS: From Special Events and Communications Letters from TAPS: From Special Events and Communications Kyle Harper Dear TAPS Family, I first met Mike in the winter of 2005-2006. I had moved to Girdwood, Alaska, about an hour south of Fort Richardson and worked at Alyeska Resort—the only ski resort in the state. My rules were that I didn’t date Army guys, but Mike’s sister assured me he was a great person. He was sitting at a table with others and I liked his southern accent. We
TAPS Survivor Newsletter March 2023 TAPS Survivor Newsletter March 2023 TAPS Survivor Newsletter March 2023 TAPS Media In March, the world will honor Women's History Month. At TAPS, we honor and lift up surviving women each and every day. We observe them leaning bravely into their grief, sharing their personal grief journey, and making the world a better place by creating safe spaces for other survivors of military loss. This is a legacy that continues to build at TAPS — one that started with our Founder and President, Bonnie C
Heading Off to College? Heading Off to College? Heading Off to College? TAPS TAPS Education Support Services is proud to launch the education care packages for incoming college freshmen. Similar in look and feel to TAPS Survivor Resource Kits sent to families after the loss of their loved ones, these care packages will be specific to surviving children and siblings headed off to college. The care packages will include a variety of items for young adults, including a TAPS Education Resource Report — a specialized
Virtual Connections: Survivors Gather Online Virtual Connections: Survivors Gather Online Virtual Connections: Survivors Gather Online TAPS 2016 was a big year for fostering special connections among survivors through the Online Community. As an online gathering place, survivors can get involved in chat sessions for real-time conversations, message boards that provide a space for questions and comments and peer-based sharing groups. The Online Community provides hope and support for our TAPS family. This year, over 400 new survivors
To Be A Patriot To Be A Patriot To Be A Patriot \| TAPS Michele Hiester Marcum There are some defining moments in life that become forever ingrained in the memory and upon which all other memories hinge. For my family, that moment came knocking when two men in green delivered news we didn't want to hear. My brother wasn't coming home. I don't know that I can adequately express what that means, but I'd like to share a few thoughts: First and foremost, we've been forced into a club no one wants to join - Th
A Legacy of Service - A Mission of Honor A Legacy of Service - A Mission of Honor A Legacy of Service - A Mission of Honor \| TAPS Mona Gunn There is no loss like that of a child whose life was cut short. My son Cherone’s death was devastating to our family. He chose to follow in his dad’s footsteps and join the U.S. Navy. Immediately following his death in the attack on the USS Cole, there was nothing but pain in our hearts. The only thing that sustained us at that time was our family and friends as well as all the memories of his
The Cabin of Reconciliation The Cabin of Reconciliation The Cabin of Reconciliation \| TAPS Jon Ganues Relationships in families change all the time, but they can sometimes change dramatically after the death of a loved one. Some relationships become very close, while some drift apart. Sometimes, the changes are obvious, and other times they are not. On June 2, 2009, I received notification that one of my sons, Jon Wesley Ganues, Jr., died by suicide while serving in the U.S. Air Force. He was a security policeman stat
The Heroes Journey: Telling My Story The Heroes Journey: Telling My Story The Heroes Journey: Telling My Story \| TAPS Alexis Saizon-Cowley The following is an excerpt of Alexis' powerful story of suicide loss that she shared at The Heroes Journey storytelling workshop hosted at TAPS' National Headquarters in January. If you or someone you know is experiencing thoughts of suicide, you can contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline toll-free by dialing 988. If you lost a military or veteran loved one to suicide, you are not alone. TA
You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part Five You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part Five You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part Five \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt Editor's Note This is part five of a six-part series adapted from Dr. Alan Wolfelt's book, You're Not Crazy — You're Grieving. Parts one through four were published in the summer 2023, fall 2023, spring 2024, and summer 2024 issues of TAPS Magazine. In early grief, existential questions tend to naturally arise. Why did the person have to die? Why now? Why
Saturday Morning Message: Dreams Part 2 Saturday Morning Message: Dreams Part 2 Saturday Morning Message: Dreams Part 2 \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, This Sunday is Veterans Day, so in addition to the delightful answers that were sent in response to our question about dreams, I thought I would add a Comcast Newsmakers interview with Erin Jacobson who is on the TAPS staff and talks about the service of our organization. It will be broadcast as part of an hour-long Veterans Day broadcast. This way you get to see it first! You can
TAPS and the Evolution of Grief TAPS and the Evolution of Grief Heather Gray Blalock * Surviving Spouse of Air Force Maj David Gray * TAPS Peer Mentor It’s been almost 15 years since my husband was killed by a suicide bomber in Afghanistan. Some days, I still find myself expecting him to return from deployment. With every new milestone our children reach — every passing anniversary, birthday, and holiday — his absence is sorely felt anew. Yet our loss does not stop life from continuing its forward march. Survivors have n
Saturday Morning Message: More Memories of Favorite Moments Saturday Morning Message: More Memories of Favorite Moments Saturday Morning Message: More Memories of Favorite Moments \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, Two weekends ago I attended the Southeast Regional Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp in Jacksonville, Florida. There I met other survivors and we shared our thoughts. The picture shows some who attended talking to each other, which to me is the best part of a TAPS event. I will keep my comments short today so you can read the special mem
Star Light, Star Bright Star Light, Star Bright Star Light, Star Bright Darcie Sims Did you ever wish upon a star? Did you ever stand outside, on a summer night and feel the soft darkness enfold you like black velvet, the gentle night breeze kissing your cheeks, the grass tickling your bare toes? Did you ever lie on your back, looking at the starry quilt tossed over the heavens? Did you ever see a shooting star and wonder where it came from and where it was going? Did you ever search for a special star and wish on i
The Journey through Grief The Journey through Grief The Journey through Grief Alan Wolfelt The Mourner’s Six Reconciliation Needs The death of someone loved changes our lives forever. And the movement from "before" to "after" is almost always a long, painful journey. I have learned that if we are to heal, we cannot skirt the outside edges of our grief. Instead, we must journey all through it, sometimes meandering the side roads, sometimes plowing directly into its raw center. I have also learned that the journey
Embracing the Sadness of Grief Embracing the Sadness of Grief Embracing the Sadness of Grief \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt “In every heart, there is an inner room, where we can hold our greatest treasures and our deepest pain.” — Marianne Williamson Sadness is a hallmark symptom of grief, which in turn is the consequence of losing something we care about. In this way, you could say that sadness and love are inextricably linked. Yes, when you are grieving, it is normal to feel sad. I would even argue that it is necessary to fee
Keeping up with Your Benefits Keeping up with Your Benefits Keeping up with Your Benefits \| TAPS Kathy Moakler Sometimes it can be confusing to keep up with all the changes to survivor benefits. TAPS is here to keep you informed of new changes and to assist you with previous benefits. Here is an update on what’s new. New FEDVIP program for Dental and Vision Care Do you use the TRICARE Retiree Dental Program? This program will end on December 31, 2018 and be replaced by the Federal Employees Dental and Vision Insurance
Holding a Safe Space for Men Holding a Safe Space for Men Holding a Safe Space for Men \| TAPS Lalaine Estella What we’ve come to know at TAPS is that men and women grieve differently. Men can be more stoic and reserved, while women are more expressive. While men in general tend to grieve more privately, women often feel more comfortable grieving with the support of others. Men often wear a public face of strength hoping not to show their pain, but in reality, they need just as much care and support after losing someone
TAPS Issues Tips for the Public Seeking to Express Sympathy or Support for the Families of Those Who Died in the Navy Yard TAPS Issues Tips for the Public Seeking to Express Sympathy or Support for the Families of Those Who Died in the Navy Yard TAPS Issues Tips for the Public Seeking to Express Sympathy or Support for the Families of Those Who Died in the Navy Yard TAPS The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS), issues the following statement: We are saddened by the loss of life and injuries in a shooting incident at the U.S. Navy Yard in Washington D.C. yesterday. TAPS stands ready to assist families
National Coffee Day National Coffee Day National Coffee Day \| TAPS TAPS Our partners at Starbucks have been an integral part of supporting the TAPS mission by providing safe and friendly spaces for our Care Groups and TAPS Togethers. They offer the extra love and care as survivors connect with others in their local communities. On National Coffee Day, we give a huge TAPS Family thank you to Starbucks and their staff at locations around the country for their hospitality, for providing survivors a comforting pl
Military Widows Go Skydiving with the Army's Golden Knights Military Widows Go Skydiving with the Army's Golden Knights Military Widows Go Skydiving with the Army's Golden Knights TAPS The widows will go skydiving with the U.S. Army’s Golden Knights, an elite parachute jumping team based at Homestead. For some, the jump is a way to connect with their spouse’s military training and experience. For others, it’s deeply personal. For Terri Starliper, who was widowed when her husband died in a military parachute training accident six weeks after their wedd
Peer Mentors are Always By Your Side Peer Mentors are Always By Your Side Peer Mentors are Always By Your Side TAPS Peer connections are at the heart of TAPS, and our Peer Mentor program makes that possible. Peer Mentors are survivors 18 months past their loss who walk alongside those newer to grief to provide a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. Peer Mentors and their mentees across the country connect in person, on the phone, and through emails and texts. As always, our Peer Mentors are dedicated to being a constant so
Living Legacies, Meaningful Healing Living Legacies, Meaningful Healing Living Legacies, Meaningful Healing \| TAPS Noriko Stern Dianne Layfield Katie Davis Write it Down By: Kristi Stolzenberg, Editor, TAPS Magazine Karl Porfirio, surviving father of SrA Tre Porfirio, U.S. Air Force, was not a writer by trade when he sat down to write My Daddy’s Heart is Purple, but his dedication to honoring veterans and preserving his son’s memory earned him the title of children’s book author in 2018. While stationed in Afghanistan, Tre
Run and Remember: Running the Boston Marathon for TAPS Run and Remember: Running the Boston Marathon for TAPS Run and Remember: Running the Boston Marathon for TAPS TAPS The TAPS Run and Remember Team fields most of its runners every autumn in the annual Army 10 Miler and Marine Corps Marathon events in Washington, DC. But those aren’t our only venues. Any runner can participate in any event in any location. This year, we are proud to acknowledge two runners who supported TAPS in the prestigious Boston Marathon! Andre Karr Andre Karr was fi
Resource Center, TAPS Top Picks for Scholarships Resource Center, TAPS Top Picks for Scholarships Resource Center, TAPS Top Picks for Scholarships TAPS Now that school is back in session, it’s a good time to start planning for your future at college, whether you are a high school senior, surviving spouse, or young adult whose parent has died in military service. When applying for educational and financial resources, the large range of differing requirements and eligibilities can make the scholarship search a grueling process. Here at T
Request a Community Resource Report for Tailored Grief Support Request a Community Resource Report for Tailored Grief Support Request a Community Resource Report for Tailored Grief Support Lalaine Estella In addition to peer support and services that TAPS provides, we also connect survivors to grief resources close to home. Upon request, TAPS can provide a detailed report of support groups in your community. We do the research, make phone calls to group facilitators and ensure the groups are an appropriate fit for you. We find out if groups are acti
TAPS is Always Here For You TAPS is Always Here For You TAPS is Always Here For You TAPS The holidays are a festive time, filled with joyous occasions and family gatherings. But when your family circle has been broken by death, each holiday is a reminder of the empty spot at the table, the hole in your heart. As we set the dishes and count the silverware for Thanksgiving, we are acutely aware of the empty places at the family table. We try to find something, anything, to be thankful for. We hold our breath and hope t
Letter From TAPS: TAPS Offers Space for Healing Letter From TAPS: TAPS Offers Space for Healing Letter From TAPS: TAPS Offers Space for Healing Carla Stumpf Patton At the beginning steps of our grief, it can feel as if we are lost on a vast landscape with no compass to help us navigate. Then we connect to the TAPS family and find that we are no longer on this journey by ourselves. Along the way, our emotions and our needs change…in and out of the seasons, from hearing that special song, or with the apprehension of how we will make it th
The Choice to Grieve The Choice to Grieve The Choice to Grieve Laura Morrison We have lots of choices in life. We choose what job to have, where to live, who we want to be. Every day we make choices both big and small; the choices are all around us. But when it comes to grief, it can feel like there is no choice. Grief is thrust upon us, and I don’t think anyone takes it well. I know my family didn’t. I’ll never forget the phone call from Keith’s dad. “The DoD just left my house,” he said a few times before I
Mental Health in the Movies and Media: Continuing the Discussion on Suicide Mental Health in the Movies and Media: Continuing the Discussion on Suicide Mental Health in the Movies and Media: Continuing the Discussion on Suicide \| TAPS Carla Stumpf Patton Writers note: This story contains topics related to mental health and suicide. If you are experiencing emotional distress or thoughts of suicide, help can be found by contacting the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 (Veterans Press 1), or by contacting the National Crisis Text Line by texting “
Putting the Closure on the Use of the Word Closure in Grief Putting the Closure on the Use of the Word "Closure" in Grief Putting the Closure on the Use of the Word "Closure" in Grief \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt "If you are seeking a time when you will be finished, you will never be done." ~ TIBETAN SAYING In these contemporary times, you may be led to believe that you need to achieve “closure” after the death of someone in your life. As a matter of fact, you may have already experienced someone approaching you and asking, “Have you had closure yet?” I
Proactive Grieving Proactive Grieving Proactive Grieving Mitch Carmody And how we climb the S.T.A.I.R.S to get there When my father died in 1969, I was only 15 years old. My mom told me that I was the man of the family now and that I needed to take care of the farm and my sisters. I did just that. I did not grieve, I did not cry, I did not publicly mourn. I hid my sorrow as if it were some awful secret I was ashamed of. I moved on. When my brother died five years later, nothing much had changed. My brother
When Someone You Love Completes Suicide When Someone You Love Completes Suicide When Someone You Love Completes Suicide Alan Wolfelt Opening to the Presence of Your Loss This article is excerpted from Dr. Wolfelt's book The Wilderness of Suicide Grief: Finding Your Way. “In every heart there is an inner room, where we can hold our greatest treasures and our deepest pain.” ~ Marianne Williamson Someone you love has completed suicide. In your heart, you have come to know your deepest pain. To be bereaved literally means to be to
Carry the Load Carry the Load Carry the Load Marie Campbell Reminding Americans About the Real Meaning of Memorial Day As a survivor, it was an honor to participate in the Carry the Load national relay as it went through Washington, D.C. as we made our journey from the Lincoln Memorial into Arlington National Cemetery honoring America's fallen heroes. I was in the company of other military surviving families, battle buddies, and a few wonderful supporters of TAPS. Participants carried items of special mea
TAPS Volunteer Recognition TAPS Volunteer Recognition TAPS Volunteer Recognition TAPS TAPS is extremely grateful for the overwhelming support we've received in recognition of our efforts to reach out to grieving military families, providing them with compassionate, emotional support and connecting them with multiple resources and TAPS programs. We realize this is an effort we cannot do alone. We are truly thankful for all of our supporters and donors. Now in its eight year,, the Colorado Celebrity Golf Classic b
Grief Rumination Spiral, Part 3: 5 Tips to Calm Your Anxious Mind Grief Rumination Spiral, Part 3: 5 Tips to Calm Your Anxious Mind Heather Stang, M.A., C-IAYT * TAPS Advisory Board In part two of the Grief Rumination Spiral series, Helpful vs. Harmful Thoughts, we explored the kinds of thoughts that help grief move and the kinds that tend to keep us stuck. If you've begun to notice your own patterns, you're already doing the most important part: bringing awareness to what's happening inside you. Now, let's talk about what to do with that awareness. Wor
The Powerful Experience of a Civilian Serving TAPS The Powerful Experience of a Civilian Serving Families of the Fallen The Powerful Experience of a Civilian Serving Families of the Fallen \| TAPS Casey Callanan As I was driving north after work on Friday to spend a sunny Memorial Day weekend on the Jersey Shore in 2012, the Vice President's voice suddenly gripped my attention. The radio station's voiceover explained Joe Biden was speaking at an event organized by TAPS (Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors). Having recently moved to the W
Why I'm Here Why I'm Here Why I'm Here \| TAPS Emily Henkel “I will get through this. I can do hard things. These hard things will make me better and stronger. Please let me fulfill the rest of my life on this Earth. Please let me use this for good. Please send me a blessing — any blessing — and I pray so hard that soon my rescue will come.” — Personal journal entry, April 7, 2021, from a cliffside in Death Valley National Park Life has exposed itself to me in its purest and most naked form — reve
Grief Grappling: Fighting for a New Normal Grief Grappling: Fighting for a New Normal Grief Grappling: Fighting for a New Normal Sandra Egts Grief Demands Attention There is tremendous shock, confusion and even denial that accompanies sudden death. It is equally traumatic to watch the prolonged suffering of those you love. Regardless of how grief comes for you, it will. It is the great, dark hunter. You can't ignore grief. It tracks you down and demands its rightful share of your life, no matter what the circumstance. Back in the ea
Resource Center: TAPS Military Survivor Education Support Services Resource Center: TAPS Military Survivor Education Support Services Resource Center: TAPS Military Survivor Education Support Services TAPS One of the most exciting times in anyone’s life is the prospect of attending college, secondary education, or trade school. It can also be an emotional and financially difficult time, dealing with complicated student admissions processes, applying for student aid, and dealing with everything else that goes along with this effort. The reality is that colleg
The Year of Getting Off My Couch The Year of Getting Off My Couch The Year of Getting Off My Couch Linda Ambard For those of you who have followed my journey, you realize I am closing in on being five years from the loss of the man who meant the world to me. I would gladly have given my life for his because I recognize he was that bright and shining star who made the world a better place, but trading places was never an option. For those of you who have watched or read about my journey, you have seen my struggles and you
Men’s Retreat: Gather for conversation, community building and camaraderie Men’s Retreat: Gather for conversation, community building and camaraderie Men’s Retreat: Gather for conversation, community building and camaraderie \| TAPS Gabriel Rao We are just about underway with our 2019 TAPS Houston Men’s Retreat! And Houston, we do NOT have a problem… For men who are venturing through a grief landscape that may be as unfamiliar as the moon — listen up. You don’t have to do this alone. It may feel like you have found comfort in a place of solitude, but you may actual
Saturday Morning Message: Women Who Have Had Positive Impacts On Our Grief Journey Saturday Morning Message: Women Who Have Had Positive Impacts On Our Grief Journey Women Who Have Had Positive Impacts On Our Grief Journey \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message TAPS Good Morning, As we welcome in the fresh spring air around the country, we are reminded nature is blooming all around us. Our winter slumber is now behind us allowing for new beginnings and acknowledging the busyness spring and summer has to offer. So this may be a good time to pause and reflect on ways to reduce stre
TAPS Joins Letter to Candidates on Honoring Families of the Fallen TAPS Joins Letter to Candidates on Honoring Families of the Fallen TAPS Joins Letter to Candidates on Honoring Families of the Fallen TAPS (Updated August 2, 2016) To the military and veterans communities, nothing is more sacred or honored than the families of those who are grieving the death of their fallen military hero, a member of our armed forces who has died while serving their country. More than a hundred years ago, the President of the United States wrote reverently to a grieving m
Webinar: New Traditions and Tips for the Holidays Webinar: New Traditions and Tips for the Holidays Webinar: New Traditions and Tips for the Holidays TAPS Media This webinar provides tools for navigating the holidays after the loss of a loved one and is co-sponsored by The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors and The Wendt Center for Loss and Healing taps professional, webinar on grief and holidays Webinar: New Traditions and Tips for the Holidays Webinar Training Video This webinar provides tools for navigating the holidays after the l
Saturday Morning Message: Fall Plans Saturday Morning Message: Fall Plans Saturday Morning Message: Fall Plans \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, Last week we shared the article “Making Summer Memories” by surviving spouse Elizabeth Culp. In the article, she wrote, “Planning provides something positive to focus thoughts and energy on.” I’m sharing here a photo of a hydrangea bush, my favorite. One of the reasons I like it is that it provides a focus in my yard and it will keep its flowers into the winter. Then in the spring, I mu
Dispelling the Misconceptions Dispelling the Misconceptions Dispelling the Misconceptions Alan Wolfelt About Suicide and Grief and Mourning Excerpted from The Wilderness of Suicide Grief: Finding Your Way Misconception: A misconception is a mistaken notion you might have about something—in other words, something you believe to be true but that is not true. Misconceptions about grief are common in our society because we tend not to openly mourn or talk about grief and mourning. You can see how we’d have misconceptions
Becoming Someone’s Why Becoming Someone’s Why Becoming Someone’s Why \| TAPS TAPS During the last week of September, close to 100 military and veteran surviving family members, representing 25 states, walked the halls of the U.S. Capitol led by the TAPS Government Relations and Legislative Affairs team. These survivors, ranging from ages 8 to 76 years old, had one goal — to advocate for four key bills that would have a profound impact on their lives, their fellow survivors around the country, and the survivors who w
TAPS Casework Assistance Available to Military Survivors During Government Shutdown TAPS Casework Assistance Available to Military Survivors During Government Shutdown TAPS Casework Assistance Available to Military Survivors During Government Shutdown TAPS TAPS as a non-profit unaffiliated with the government remains open in event of any shutdown. We are here for any survivors with questions about benefits and in need of resource connections. With a government shutdown, there is no way for the government to pay the death gratuity ($100,000) benefit. This benefit is typic
Miles for Kyle Miles for Kyle Miles for Kyle Maggie Osborn Running a marathon for some is a sport; for others a life accomplishment. Me? I run for Kyle. I run in his honor. I run because he can’t. I run to fulfill his goals and complete his bucket list. I run to carry on his memory and to ensure it inspires others as he did in his life on earth. Kyle was a loving, outgoing man who continually sought out new challenges. He was always an active person applying himself to new adventures: fishing, CrossFit,
How Proud You Were to Fight for Freedoms in This Land How Proud You Were to Fight for Freedoms in This Land How Proud You Were to Fight for Freedoms in This Land Linda Ambard As I ran yesterday morning, a song I often affiliated with my Phil began to waft through my head phones. “I could see it in your eyes how proud you were to fight for freedom in our land.” Phil never took for granted the freedoms afforded to him by the citizenship he received to our country a week shy of his 18th birthday. He felt civic duty to serve and to vote. While he wa
Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Weekend Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Weekend Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Weekend Carol Lane Good Morning, This weekend there are many events to honor those who gave their lives in our country's military. It is hard to decide what to do. On Memorial Day, survivors can be found in many different places: Some are at the TAPS National Seminar in Washington, DC; others can be found at an activity in their home state; still others may choose a location that is special to their lov
Video: Words Matter. How We Talk About Suicide Matters. Video: Words Matter. How We Talk About Suicide Matters. Words Matter. How We Talk About Suicide Matters. \| TAPS TAPS Media Using safe messaging when we talk and post about suicide makes a world of difference, reinforces hope, and ultimately, saves lives. ⁣ If you're in emotional distress or a suicide crisis, call/text the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 24/7 at 988 (Veterans press 1)⁣ ⁣ If you are struggling with the loss of a military loved one to suicide, TAPS is here for you. Call us
Video: TAPS Honor Guard Gala Highlights Video: TAPS Honor Guard Gala Highlights Video: 2021 TAPS Honor Guard Gala Highlights TAPS Media The TAPS Honor Guard Gala gives the opportunity to remember the love of our fallen heroes, celebrate their lives and share the stories of the journey military survivors experience with their TAPS family. See highlights of the Gala held on November 16, 2021. The 2022 TAPS Honor Guard Gala is on April 27, 2022. For more information, visit www.taps.org/gala. Select image below to play. honor them
Sibling Survivors of Suicide Sibling Survivors of Suicide Sibling Survivors of Suicide Michelle Linn-Gust Sibling Surivors of Suicide Article This article first appeared on Legacy Connect, an online grief support community. For more information, articles, and resources, go to at www.connect.legacy.com. By Michelle Linn-Gust, PhD: Michelle Linn-Gust, PhD, is an international speaker and author on suicide prevention and postvention issues. A survivor of her younger sister's suicide, she is the author of Do They Have
We Find Our Strength Together We Find Our Strength Together We Find Our Strength Together TAPS Our TAPS family makes memories beyond the seminars and retreats, in small towns and big cities, in communities across America. We enjoy family meals and experience new adventures together. We come together for TAPS Care Groups or to attend sporting events or to take in special events of all sorts. We call these opportunities to be with our new found friends “TAPS Togethers,” one-day events in communities across the country brin
In Moments of Darkness, Hanukkah Reminds Us to Search for the Light In Moments of Darkness, Hanukkah Reminds Us to Search for the Light In Moments of Darkness, Hanukkah Reminds Us to Search for the Light \| TAPS Traci Voelke The miracle of light is celebrated in a season of darkness during Hanukkah and has been a tradition by the Jewish people for over two millennia. For me, the story of Hanukkah is a reminder that during my darkest hours of grief I can find hope by searching for the light with help from my loved ones. My husband, Army Maj. Paul Voelke, wa
Saturday Morning Message: How Do You Relieve Stress? Saturday Morning Message: How Do You Relieve Stress? How Do You Relieve Stress? \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message TAPS Good Morning, Reflection of emotions from our grief journey, a journey we did not choose, can sometimes lead us astray and away from family, friends and the peacefulness of nature. Navigating our experiences together and seeing the beauty that surrounds us can refuel us to reach out and connect with others at TAPS. As we walk together through our grief, let us pause to see the
Saturday Morning Message: May is a Month of Remembrance Saturday Morning Message: May is a Month of Remembrance May is a Month of Remembrance \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message TAPS Good Morning, You are in our hearts as we step into May. With the whole nation around us contemplating military appreciation this month, we hold close a reverence that comes from personal sacrifice. While we don’t want others to know such sacrifice, we hope to spread awareness of how Americans can truly appreciate those who have served and given their lives to our countr
International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day \| TAPS Carla Stumpf Patton Saturday, November 19, 2022, is International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day (also referred to as ISOSLD or Survivor Day). It is a day of healing throughout the world where all those impacted by suicide loss can connect with one another, honor the lives of their loved ones, and share experiences of support, encouragement, and hope. According to the American Foundation for Suici
Grief, Loss and Autism Grief, Loss and Autism Grief, Loss and Autism \| TAPS Andy McNeil Each person within a family experiences grief after a death in their own way. April is National Autism Awareness Month, and at TAPS, we recognize the unique ways that grief might be expressed by children and adults on the autism spectrum. We strive to make our programs and services available to all who are grieving and acknowledge that, though grief might look different from person to person, all people deserve care and support.
The Value of Giving Back The Value of Giving Back by Honoring Families of the Fallen The Value of Giving Back by Honoring Families of the Fallen \| TAPS TAPS Long before surviving military families walk through the doors at the Crystal Gateway Marriott, staff and volunteers start transforming the hotel into a welcoming space for the TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp. It takes more than 750 volunteers to set up and help staff at the annual event in Arlington, Virginia. From packing backpacks f
Saturday Morning Message: How We Will Honor Memorial Day Saturday Morning Message: How We Will Honor Memorial Day How We Will Honor Memorial Day \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good morning, The springtime holidays from Mother’s Day to Father’s Day, with Memorial Day in between, can be stressful for many surviving adults and children. If there is a significant birth or angelversary date that occurs during this time, it can be even more emotional for the family. This year is particularly stressful with social distancing and the uncertain
In Search of Joy In Search of Joy In Search of Joy Darcie Sims Finding Your Way Through the Darkness Do you know how long it took me to allow laughter and joy to return to my life? Do you know how far it is from this side of the page to your side? Do you know how difficult it is to write about death? It was a long journey. It took me thirty years to get from your side of this page to mine...a long time...actually a whole lifetime! I liked my other life. In fact, I loved it! I hadn't intended to be h
Video: The Components of Transformational Living Video: The Power of Story – Shaping Your World Through Narrative The Components of Transformational Living Webinar \| TAPS Institute Andy McNiel Many of us struggle with how to get our lives back to the way they were before our loss. Many of our societal constructs of wellness promote this restorative paradigm of healing after loss. The challenge is that the death of a family member is disruptive and life-altering. When we experience a devastating loss, we do not move backward or return to how
International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day \| TAPS Carla Stumpf Patton International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day is on Saturday, November 18, 2017 and is intended to be a day of healing throughout the world, where all those impacted by suicide loss can connect around the lives of their loved ones and the shared stories of hope, support, and encouragement. The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention or AFSP, oversees more than 350 host location
Finding Meaning After Loss Finding Meaning After Loss Finding Meaning After Loss \| TAPS Michelle Collins On the one-year anniversary of my husband Glen’s death by suicide, I spread his ashes off a distinctive rocky outcropping into a small cove in south Maui. I gazed at the water, remembering our time together in this exact spot. Even after 22 years in service, most of which was spent in the SEAL teams, he referred to that little rocky cove as the place he performed “the most heroic act” of his life. He loved
TAPS Partners with Broadway Musical Bandstand on Film Release TAPS Partners with Broadway Musical Bandstand on Film Release TAPS Partners with Broadway Musical Bandstand on Film Release TAPS TAPS is proud to join with the Broadway musical Bandstand as it prepares for its nationwide film release. The 2017 Tony Award-winning production was selected by FATHOM Events for release this month in hundreds of theaters across the country. Proceeds from the June 25 and June 28 showings and a pre-release benefit in New York will support TAPS in its continuing missi
Run and Remember: 50-50 Runner Run and Remember: 50-50 Runner Run and Remember: 50-50 Runner TAPS One man’s mission to support TAPS We live in an amazingly beautiful country, blessed not only by physical beauty, but with a rich cultural diversity. Every state I've run in is a gem of natural splendor, each city a monument to American prosperity, every person a testament to our unique national character. Our country is truly exceptional. And the wisdom I've gained thus far in my travels is that Americans still love their c
10 Things We Know to Be True about Suicide Loss 10 Things We Know to Be True about Suicide Loss 10 Things We Know to Be True about Suicide Loss \| TAPS TAPS Losing someone you love to suicide comes with complex grief. You might catch yourself asking why or what if or even wrestling with guilt, thinking you could have done something more — "If only I would have..." or "I should have known something was wrong." These questions, though raw and overwhelming — especially in grief — and processing these questions over time and with support can he
Love, Loss, and Legacy Love, Loss, and Legacy Don Lipstein Turning Loss into Legacy - TAPS News Don Lipstein For more information on becoming a peer mentor or requesting a peer mentor, visit the TAPS Peer Mentor Program page. In some ways March 15, 2011, seems like yesterday and in others it feels like an eternity ago. That was the day my life turned upside down. I was completely helpless as my oldest son Joshua, 250 miles away from me, hung the phone up before he took his own life. That moment in time is sea
Saturday Morning Message: The Power of Dreams Saturday Morning Message: The Power of Dreams Saturday Morning Message: The Power of Dreams Carol Lane Good Morning, This week several survivors wrote to tell about the dreams that they have had. They are so beautifully written that I am going to keep my comments short, so you can enjoy reading them. Over the Memorial Day weekend, TAPS will host the National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp. There may be some who are reading this message who have registered for the first ti
Are You Ready to Be a Peer Mentor Are You Ready to Be a Peer Mentor Are You Ready to Be a Peer Mentor August Cabrera During my first TAPS Expedition, I watched new friends stretch, reach and jump for handholds on the rock walls as we climbed. This day, full of red sandstone cliffs near Moab, Utah, was the culmination of our four-day Colorado Plateau adventure. Earlier, as we prepared to rock climb, we learned to be successful we have to properly gear up: shoes, harness, helmet and, the most important thing, a safety line tied
Letters from TAPS: From the Youth Program Director Letters from TAPS: From the Youth Program Director Letters from TAPS: From the Youth Program Director Heather Campagna TAPS Youth Programs had a wonderful summer this year! We had our largest ever National Good Grief Camp, several Regional Good Grief Camps including our two day event at Fort Hood, and four overnight Camp Erin/TAPS Grief Camps. For those who have brought your child to a Good Grief Camp in the past, thank you for sharing your child with us! Good Grief Camp is an amazing
TAPS Family Campouts: Everything You Need to Know TAPS Family Campouts: Everything You Need to Know TAPS Family Campouts: Everything You Need to Know TAPS Perhaps you see the word “camp” and think of sleeping outdoors in tents, collecting water from a stream, or cooking over an open flame. We would like to invite you to rethink that image. TAPS Family Campouts include many wonderful features, including air-conditioned cabins, home-cooked meals, and hot showers. Family Campouts offer an opportunity for you and your family to find comfort an
Saturday Morning Message: Warm Wishes for the New Year Saturday Morning Message: Warm Wishes for the New Year Saturday Morning Message: Warm Wishes for the New Year \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, As we come to the beginning of 2018, it might be interesting to think about treating yourself since the passing season might have been very stressful especially for those who are grieving. In the article from the winter 2015 TAPS magazine, there is an article titled “Seven Strategies for the New Year” written by Brad Stetson. In it he encourages some a
Bereavement Counseling Bereavement Counseling Bereavement Counseling TAPS Department of Veterans Affairs Vet Centers When America experienced the terrorist attack on September 11, 2001, TAPS was there in the Pentagon Family Assistance Center providing comfort and support for all those who lost loved ones on that fateful day. Hundreds of TAPS Peer Mentors volunteered their time over the course of six weeks, traveling to Washington, DC for a week, living in the Center's headquarters hotel, and offering comfort to th
Saturday Morning Message: Letting Others Know You Love Them Saturday Morning Message: Letting Others Know You Love Them Saturday Morning Message: Letting Others Know You Love Them Carol Lane Good Morning, This week’s question centered around letting others know that you love them while you are grieving the loss of an important person in your life. This is not easy - especially when you are early in your grief journey. When you are new to grief, it can be hard to focus on anything for more than a few minutes at a time. What do you do? For me, I ac
Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Memories, Big and Small Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Memories, Big and Small Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Memories, Big and Small \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, The opening picture today was sent by Samantha, fiancé of Preston. I thought it was a great way to open today’s Saturday Morning Message because they look like they are having a great time. Read more about Preston below. I will keep my comments short, so you will have time to read the many memories that have been shared. Remember, you
International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day \| TAPS Carla Stumpf Patton Saturday, November 18, 2023, is International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day (also referred to as ISOSLD or Survivor Day). It is acknowledged as a day of healing throughout the world where all those impacted by suicide loss can connect, honor the lives of their loved ones, and share experiences of support, encouragement, and hope. According to the American Foundation for Suicid
TAPS Offers College Care Packages TAPS Offers College Care Packages TAPS Offers College Care Packages TAPS TAPS Education Support Services is proud to open the applications for this year's education care packages for incoming college freshmen. Similar in look and feel to the TAPS Survivor Resource Kits sent to families after the loss of their loved ones, these care packages will be specific to surviving children and siblings headed off to college. The care packages will include a variety of items for young adults, includin
Explore Museums for Free This Summer Explore Museums for Free This Summer Explore Museums for Free This Summer TAPS Participation in Blue Star Museums is one of our favorite ways to enjoy the summer season! From Memorial Day through Labor Day each year, Blue Star Families partners with the National Endowment for the Arts to bring you free admission to more than 2,000 museums across the country. We love this program because museums are great places to learn with your families, and create lasting memories. Our friends at the A
TAPS Military Mentors Are at the Heart of TIME101 Recognition TAPS Military Mentors Are at the Heart of TIME101 Recognition TAPS Military Mentors Are at the Heart of TIME101 Recognition TAPS The April issue of Time magazine featured the publication’s annual list of the 100 most influential people, and TAPS was proud to be included as this year’s TIME101 honoree in partnership with Gillette and Time’s award-winning branded content division Red Border. In case you missed the feature, TAPS Military Mentors were shown sharing special moments with their
Good Grief Camp Corner Good Grief Camp Corner Good Grief Camp Corner Jonathan Kirkendall It was May 2006. I was a civilian, a mental health professional, and I was standing in the lobby of the Doubletree Hotel in Arlington, Va., feeling lost. A few weeks before, I heard a radio interview with Bonnie Carroll talking about a program called TAPS. With a brother and a nephew serving in Iraq, I was intrigued. I was struggling to find a concrete way to support the troops - especially since the troops were my family. A
Sharing Your Story: Healing Through The Media Sharing Your Story: Healing Through The Media Sharing Your Story: Healing Through The Media Kelly Griffith When three Marines came to my door the morning of Dec. 14, 2011, I had never felt so alone even though I was immediately surrounded by people. Then came the phone calls and inquiries for interviews from journalists. It was jarring. I wanted to hide away somewhere, but the world wanted to watch me grieve. A journalist by trade, I was used to questions - from the other side of the notep
Healing Is In Session Healing Is In Session Healing Is In Session \| TAPS Emily Munoz I’ve had a song in my head since last November. It’s an old Van Morrison song that stays for a week or so, then floats away — until it comes back again some days later, always nudging me with the same line, “…and the healing has begun.” It just will not let me go. Usually, when I have a prolonged earworm like that, there’s a reason — or at least a trigger. Sometimes it’s a musical phrase (there was a commercial for a ski resort
Dealing with the Media in Wake of Tragedy Dealing with the Media in Wake of Tragedy Dealing with the Media in Wake of Tragedy \| TAPS Ami Neiberger-Miller For many surviving families who have lost a loved one in the military, our interactions with the media are interwoven with our experiences in the days immediately after our loved one dies. We encounter the reporters on our front porch, field phone calls from the Associated Press, and might even scan pictures to share. As a seasoned public relations professional, I am no stranger
Photos: teams4taps Baltimore Ravens Seats for Service teams4taps Baltimore Ravens Seats for Service teams4taps for Military Survivors Baltimore Ravens Seats for Service TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (33 photos) teams4taps, photos teams4taps Baltimore Ravens Seats for Service Photos Flickr Album Event Photos
Embracing the Sadness of Grief Embracing the Sadness of Grief Embracing the Sadness of Grief Alan Wolfelt “In every heart there is an inner room, where we can hold our greatest treasures and our deepest pain.” — Marianne Williamson Sadness is a hallmark symptom of grief, which in turn is the consequence of losing something we care about. In this way you could say that sadness and love are inextricably linked. When you are grieving, it is normal to feel sad. I would even argue that it is necessary to feel sad. But why i
Survivors Share about the Impact of the Women’s Empowerment Programming Survivors Share about the Impact of the Women’s Empowerment Programming Survivors Share about the Impact of the Women’s Empowerment Programming \| TAPS TAPS The TAPS Women’s Empowerment program uses both in-person and online events to bring surviving women together. When we gather in person, the effect is magical, and we cherish our time together. We also know, however, that distance doesn’t silence the heart of our sisterhood — and so we’re also just a few clicks away with online offerings th
TAPS Families Visit Capitol Hill During Gold Star Families Remembrance Week TAPS Families Visit Capitol Hill During Gold Star Families Remembrance Week TAPS Families Visit Capitol Hill During Gold Star Families Remembrance Week \| TAPS TAPS The last full week of September is a special one for the TAPS community. Since 2018, Congress has recognized this time as Gold Star Families Remembrance Week providing an opportunity for the nation to pause as they honor and remember the sacrifices made by all those who have lost a loved one who served in the military. “Our nation
International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day \| TAPS Carla Stumpf Patton International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day is on Saturday, November 17, 2018 and is intended to be a day of healing throughout the world, where all those who are affected by suicide loss can connect around the lives of their loved ones and the experiences of hope, support and encouragement. On this day, survivors will gather around the world in small and large events in local c
Welcome Home Welcome Home Welcome Home Donna Elm Creating a New Family Refuge We are psychologically tethered to those we love. When they die, we are cut loose from those firm moorings, so we feel adrift, disoriented. When people ask how we are doing, the answer is certain: “We are lost.” We lost Mike on October 14, 2011. On a mission in Afghanistan, he never saw the IED buried in the dirt that he was crossing. We were notified the next morning. For the previous ten months, I had been on the edge of m
Discovering a New Plan Discovering a New Plan Discovering a New Plan R. Glenn Kelly Almost as if spring were just a dream, summer is upon us, and we find ourselves in shorts, t-shirts and sandals, darting to and from air-conditioned spaces. Summer also brings another transition point for me after the traumatic loss of a child. In summer 2013, I lost my son and only child, Jonathan, when his heart failed during a relatively simple surgery. To me, summer will always be a reminder of the plans I had that were erase
BAE Systems continues tradition of corporate support BAE Systems continues tradition of corporate support BAE Systems continues tradition of corporate support \| TAPS TAPS Each Friday, please visit our blog and join us as we take a look back at stories, people and events that have shaped who we are today. We are a family of survivors honoring our selfless heroes who paid the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom. We are grieving parents, spouses, children, siblings, grandparents, fiancées, battle buddies and loved ones. We are hope. We are strengt
Peer Mentoring: The Next Step Peer Mentoring: The Next Step Peer Mentoring: The Next Step TAPS Have you ever wondered, “Where do I go from here?” I was there four years ago, 18 months after my oldest son, Joshua, died by suicide. “What am I supposed to do with the lessons I have learned along this journey?” I really wanted to find a way to honor his life of service, but I didn’t have to look too far. I was already connecting with other survivors through TAPS. Many of them, I spoke to on a regular basis. The TAPS Peer Men
The Run and Remember Team The Run and Remember Team The Run and Remember Team TAPS Transitioning to Team TAPS for the New Year It was the fall of 2000 when TAPS entered its first team in the Marine Corps Marathon. The team consisted of Lori Hunter and Marie Campbell, both surviving widows. Through the years, the team has grown by leaps and bounds, encompassing runners of every relationship, age, and experience. The team also has grown to cover many more events than the annual Marine Corps Marathon in Washington, D.C.
New Podcast and Book on Coping with Suicide Loss New Podcast and Book on Coping with Suicide Loss New Podcast and Book on Coping with Suicide Loss \| TAPS TAPS A new ABC Radio podcast, called “Life After Suicide,” hosted by Dr. Jennifer Ashton, chief medical correspondent at ABC News, launched this week. Dr. Ashton draws from her tragic experience to explore the aftermath of suicide and sudden loss. The podcast is a roadmap to survival, offering inspiring insight on how to regain balance and get back to life. She speaks with people living
Beamer the Dog Beamer the Dog Beamer the Dog \| TAPS Beamer Burleson Greetings my two-legged friends! My name is Beamer Burleson and I’ve been told that I am the greatest dog on the planet! I am 11 years old and have the joy of helping my Mommy by being her best friend when she is sad. She calls me her service dog. It all started with Daddy and Mommy wanting me to help other soldiers when they returned from deployments. We trained as a Therapy Dog Team and I visited wounded warriors at Fort Bragg
Saturday Morning Message: Favorite Foods Saturday Morning Message: Favorite Foods Saturday Morning Message: Favorite Foods Carol Lane Good morning, This week survivors wrote about the favorite foods of their loved ones. In addition, I thought it would be fun to share an article written by Marissa Donovan titled "Easy Fall Foods to Keep Your Spirits Up." The article includes some new recipes that look like they might be fun, like these Jack-O-Lantern stuffed peppers. Sometimes we find comfort in preparing the foods that have been a
Saturday Morning Message: Making Friends at a TAPS Event Saturday Morning Message: Making Friends at a TAPS Event Saturday Morning Message: Making Friends at a TAPS Event Carol Lane Good Morning, Coming to a TAPS event alone can make us wonder how "we will fit in, how we will be treated, and what the event will be like". That was the question last week and many have written to say they will be waiting for this week's answers. Some who answered this question talked about attending a TAPS event and others addressed going out socially after the loss.
Helping Surviving Families for 25 Years TAPS – Helping Surviving Families for 25 Years Helping Surviving Families for 25 Years \| TAPS John Wood This year, the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) is celebrating its 25th anniversary. For those who are not already familiar, TAPS is a national nonprofit that offers services and support to those grieving the loss of a loved one who died during, or as a result of, their military service. At the 2015 TAPS gala, Bonnie Carroll, president and founder of TAPS; John Wood; Mari
TAPS Survivor Newsletter August 2024 TAPS Survivor Newsletter August 2024 TAPS Survivor Newsletter August 2024 TAPS Media Cars can be much more than a way to get from one place to another. Families make memories in cars, and these memories carry on even after the loss of our loved ones. Thanks to generous support from Ford Motor Company, several TAPS families with meaningful connections to Ford cars and trucks participated in the exciting Ford Off-Roadeo experience in central Texas. Throughout the year, and in partnership with
Book Shelf: Surviving the Holidays Without You: Navigating Grief During Special Seasons Book Shelf: Surviving the Holidays Without You: Navigating Grief During Special Seasons Book Shelf: Surviving the Holidays Without You: Navigating Grief During Special Seasons Kelly Griffith After my brother died in December 2011, I didn’t know what to do when I woke up on Christmas morning. His death was still real. I didn’t want to have Christmas without him. So, I didn’t. The second Christmas without Sam physically here, I wanted to find a way to honor his life and still feel him near me.
A Lonely Cross A Lonely Cross A Lonely Cross \| TAPS Peter Duston Carrying on the Names and Stories Behind the Stones Cherryfield, Maine: The fourth-grade class in Cherryfield, Maine — a small coastal town of 1,900 where I live — has been making an annual pilgrimage to one of our small cemeteries for over 20 years — a tradition started by WWII Veteran Joe Sproul, who would share with the children the background of those buried there from the Revolutionary War to the present, including brothers killed
TAPS Seeks National Headquarters Volunteers TAPS Seeks National Headquarters Volunteers TAPS Seeks National Headquarters Volunteers TAPS In January 2018, TAPS moved into a new National Headquarters located in the Clarendon neighborhood of Arlington, Virginia, near the Clarendon Metro. We are currently seeking volunteers to serve in the role of guest liaison at our headquarters, warmly welcoming visitors and honoring the military families, survivors, donors, partners, and guests who visit TAPS. Responsibilities: greeting and assistan
Join us for Seminars, Retreats in 2019 Join us for Seminars, Retreats in 2019 Join us for Seminars, Retreats in 2019 \| TAPS Lalaine Estella Registration is open for TAPS Regional and National Military Survivor Seminars, Good Grief Camps and other opportunities for gathering with fellow survivors in the New Year. TAPS will be hosting seminars and retreats in states across the country including Alaska, Texas, Colorado, Virginia, California, Ohio, Florida, Arizona and New Jersey. Photo: John Korossy TAPS seminars bring surviving
How I learned to confront my despair and rededicate my life How I learned to confront my despair and rededicate my life How I learned to confront my despair and rededicate my life \| TAPS Nicole Langhorst September is National Suicide Prevention Month. This article is the first of five stories by TAPS suicide loss survivors who wish to share lessons learned from their grief journeys. We invite you to share this story using the hashtag #SurvivorSunday. If you know or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide, please call the National Suici
Photos: TAPS Institute for Hope and Healing Launch TAPS Institute for Hope and Healing Launch TAPS Institute for Hope and Healing Launch TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (220 photos) photos, taps institute, professional education TAPS Institute for Hope and Healing Launch Flickr Album Event Photos: TAPS Institute for Hope and Healing launched March 5, 2018, providing workshops, seminars, panel discussions for bereaved individuals and grie
Visions of Michael Visions of Michael Loretta Krause * Surviving Mother of Retired Army MAJ Michael Krause After my son, Michael, died on Oct. 28, 2020, I searched for answers in books about grief and death. Is there a heaven? Is he really gone? Why? I was surprised by how often authors cited a connection between this world and the spirit world. Encounters years earlier — including seeing my father’s apparition the evening after his death in 1982 — convinced me a spiritual realm existed and interacted with the
New Jersey Regional Seminar Brings Military Survivors Together New Jersey Regional Seminar brings military survivors together New Jersey Regional Seminar Brings Military Survivors Together \| TAPS Lalaine Estella Cherry Hill resident Melinda Kane came to TAPS not long after her son, Lance Cpl. Jeremy Kane, was killed in Afghanistan in 2010. TAPS resources were offered to her and her surviving two sons, and it wasn’t long before the family was participating in the National Military Survivor Seminar, retreats and other TAPS events. Melinda sought support
His Big Race His Big Race His Big Race Shanette Booker Dre was an avid runner, he ran track all through high school, loved running for PT, and would run after work if he felt stressed. Running for him was more than just a great workout or a sport, it was a way of life. When Dre was a child, he watched his mother run in many marathons throughout their city. He was so proud of her and he told me her participation in marathons was part of his reason for wanting to run, because she never gave up and always ra
TAPS Casework Assistance TAPS Casework Assistance TAPS Casework Assistance Melissa LoFaso Everywhere you turn, you hear people talking about your “path to healing” and “healthy grieving.” But sometimes you are too concerned about making it through the basic daily struggles to even think about taking care of your emotional needs. When you are worried about how to pay for dental care for your child, how to begin the process of getting your baby’s father on the birth certificate, or how to choose between keeping the lig
A Grateful Memorial Day A Grateful Memorial Day A Grateful Memorial Day Dr. Carla Stumpf Patton, LMHC A Grateful Memorial Day As we head into Memorial Day weekend, many look forward to the upcoming summer months as they enjoy a long weekend and time spent celebrating with family and friends. As I leave some of my family at home, I am en route flying into Arlington, Virginia, to meet my “other family” — fellow loss survivors in the military community, and to support the TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar and Go
Atop a Tower of Grief, a Place to Breathe Atop a Tower of Grief, a Place to Breathe Atop a Tower of Grief, a Place to Breathe \| TAPS Sonia Rai In the last few weeks, people all over the world have watched as the life they once knew, piece by piece, was stripped away from them. People have woken up every day to a world filled more and more with shadows. People have woken up to see the ever expansive landscape of their life become limited. They’ve bit by bit had to let go of things that are outside of their control and retreat furt
Understanding A Widow’s Heart, New Directions Understanding A Widow’s Heart, New Directions Understanding A Widow’s Heart, New Directions Emma Wright March 9, 2013 Two and a half years ago today marks the darkest day I've ever known. The day when I was awakened by two dark silhouettes that I could see through the decorative glass panel of my front door. I could have been dreaming. Given the fact that the sun had not risen, that was my immediate assumption. But the silhouettes became much more real as I opened the door, confused and very
Gifts, Garlands, and Grief Gifts, Garlands, and Grief Gifts, Garlands, and Grief Sandy Goodman Including your Lost Loved Ones in the Holidays I remember our first Christmas season after. It began the first week of November in 1996, three short months into our worst nightmare, but a lifetime into missing our child of eighteen years. He had died suddenly, one of those "in the wrong place at the wrong time" things, and he took our hearts with him when he left. Summer screeched to a halt and autumn came and went without
Saturday Morning Message: When We Feel Overwhelmed Saturday Morning Message: When We Feel Overwhelmed Saturday Morning Message: When We Feel Overwhelmed \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, Early in grief, everything seems to come upon us at once. Arrangements need to be made, paperwork completed, relatives and friends contacted, and your grief addressed. It is easy to find ourselves overwhelmed by the number of tasks. Then those who kindly want to host a ceremony to honor our loved ones send us invitations. We want to attend all of them, but som
Stop, Look, Listen Stop, Look, Listen Stop, Look, Listen Darcie Sims When was the last time you did nothing? Do you ever just sit anymore? Do you ever just lie on your back in new mown grass and watch the clouds dance by? Do you ever chase after butterflies, trying to give them a message to carry? Or dangle your toes in a pond or watch kids dash through a sprinkler? Do you ever sit on a porch or patio and smell the grass, the flowers, the air? Do you even have a porch or patio and do you know what sitting
Storytelling through film can help survivors of suicide Storytelling through film can help survivors of suicide Storytelling through film can help survivors of suicide \| TAPS Matt Mabe Trauma can be an insidious hallmark of loss that often complicates an already painful grieving process, as reports of the recent Sandy Hook and Parkland suicides demonstrate. These deaths remind us that in the wake of traumatic loss, it is critical for surviving family members be stabilized and supported through their journeys of grief. Grief and trauma are familia
Love and Grief Love and Grief Love and Grief Alan Wolfelt Living as You Were Meant to Live “We are all mirrors unto one another. Look into me and you will find something of yourself as I will of you.” ~ Walter Rinder Love is a sacred partnership of communion with another human being. You take each other in, and even when you are apart, you are together. Wherever you go, you carry the person inside you. Communion means the sharing or exchanging of intimate thoughts and feelings, especially on a spiritual l
Ted Stevens: Leaving a legacy of caring for families of the fallen Ted Stevens: Leaving a legacy of caring for families of the fallen Ted Stevens: Leaving a legacy of caring for families of the fallen \| TAPS TAPS Each Friday, please visit our blog and join us as we take a look back at stories, people and events that have shaped who we are today. We are a family of survivors honoring our selfless heroes who paid the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom. We are grieving parents, spouses, children, siblings, grandparents, fiancées, battle buddies and loved ones.
Grieving in the Closet Grieving in the Closet Grieving in the Closet \| TAPS Chandler Keeling When I lost my dad to suicide in 2009, I was in the 8th grade and just beginning to discover myself. My dad went on two tours to Iraq and I spent those awkward adolescent years relentlessly bullied for being “different” and too feminine for a boy. My memories from that time are a slide show of moments trying desperately to fit in while simultaneously missing my dad, the one who would load my iPod with any music I wanted wit
Moments Captured Forever: Behind the Lens for TAPS Moments Captured Forever: Behind the Lens for TAPS Moments Captured Forever: Behind the Lens for TAPS Paige Williams Lenzy Ruffin has been a volunteer with TAPS since the 2016 National Military Survivor Seminar. He took amazing photos during the weekend event to capture the meaning and connection of the TAPS family. Since then, he also covered the Army Ten-Miler in October for Team TAPS. Before becoming a professional photographer, Lenzy served as a lieutenant in the U.S. Army. TAPS is so gra
Spotlight on Service: Maria Elena Bancroft Spotlight on Service: Maria Elena Bancroft Spotlight on Service: Maria Elena Bancroft TAPS Recuerda el amor, Celebra la vida. Comparte el viaje. Remember the love. Celebrate the life. Share the journey. Our TAPS motto crosses both cultural and language barriers with the help of volunteer Maria Elena Bancroft. Maria Elena lost her husband U.S. Marine Corps Captain Matthew Bancroft thirteen years ago, and eight years later found TAPS to join her on the journey through grief. Two years ago,
You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part Six You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part Six You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part Six \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt Editor's Note This is the final article in a six-part series adapted from Dr. Alan Wolfelt's book, You're Not Crazy — You're Grieving. Parts one through five were published in the summer 2023, fall 2023, spring 2024, summer 2024 and fall 2024 issues of TAPS Magazine. In the early days after the death of someone you love dearly, it’s normal for this step to
Saturday Morning Message: The Kindest Things You Can DO for Yourself Saturday Morning Message: The Kindest Things You Can DO for Yourself Saturday Morning Message: The Kindest Things You Can DO for Yourself \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, When we are grieving, we often forget to take care of ourselves. Eating healthy snacks can be overlooked as a way to care for our health. Apples are in abundance at this time of the year and make good snacks, so I thought it would make a good opening picture for this Saturday Morning Message on the topic of being kind to o
Facing the Twelfth Anniversary of 9/11: TAPS Shares Tips for Families of the Fallen Facing the Twelfth Anniversary of 9/11: TAPS Shares Tips for Families of the Fallen Facing the Twelfth Anniversary of 9/11: TAPS Shares Tips for Families of the Fallen TAPS The twelfth anniversary of the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on the United States causes us all to remember that tragic day and may stir emotions for the thousands of people in the United States who are grieving the deaths of a loved one who died during the attacks now more than a decade ago. The anniversary also
Twenty-Five Years of TAPS Twenty-Five Years of TAPS: A Testament to Love Twenty-Five Years of TAPS: A Testament to Love TAPS TAPS is a love story It's inspiration was love. It continues to be a testament to love. Love given, love received, love shared. It grows and strengthens — spreading its light to the darkest of places. In November 1992, eight soldiers perished in a C-12 crash in Alaska, including Brig. Gen. Thomas C. Carroll, commander of the state’s Army National Guard Gen. Carroll’s widow, Bonnie
My Memory Scarf: Remembering all of the First Days My Memory Scarf: Remembering all of the First Days My Memory Scarf: Remembering all of the First Days \| TAPS Lydia Burgdorf At my son Carl’s visitation, my friend Robin handed me a book and said, “Just a little something I’ve had set aside for you.” I tucked it in my bag and walked over to greet a new arrival. After the internment service and before another appointment, I opened her gift the next day. Titled “Knit the Sky,” the book was designed to encourage creativity. Its first project sugg
Is Suicide a Choice? Is Suicide a Choice? Military Widow Kim Ruocco on Spousal Suicide - TAPS News Kim Ruocco The National Veterans Crisis Line (800-273-8255) is available 24/7 to TAPS survivors. It is confidential and can connect you with local resources. The TAPS helpline (800-959-8277) is available for peer-based grief support. There are so many questions following a death by suicide. How could this happen? Why did this happen? Why didn’t I see it? Why didn’t I do something? Why didn’t the military do more?
Saturday Morning Message: TAPS Seminar Enjoyment Saturday Morning Message: TAPS Seminar Enjoyment Saturday Morning Message: TAPS Seminar Enjoyment Carol Lane Good Morning, Going to a TAPS Seminar for the first time can be stressful, especially if you are attending alone. I remember the first time I flew into the Reagan National Airport in Washington, D.C., for the TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp held each May. I wasn’t sure what I would find, but when I entered the hotel, there were TAPS staff members waiting to
Setting Boundaries While Grieving Setting Boundaries While Grieving Setting Boundaries While Grieving \| TAPS Audri Beugelsdijk Setting boundaries is hard. When it’s our job to take care of others or attend to business, we place a lot of pressure on ourselves to get it right, to not drop balls. After all, we take our responsibilities seriously and don’t want to let anyone down. Even on our best days when we are not grieving, this set of expectations can be incredibly difficult to live up to, if not downright impossible. Our li
Suicide: The Aftermath Suicide: The Aftermath Suicide: The Aftermath Madeline Lambrecht Guidance from a fellow survivor The latest reports for 2009 show an increasing number of suicides in all branches of the military with the largest increase in the Army. Figures from 2008 show the military suicide rate exceeding the civilian suicide rate for the first time. Suicide Survivors . . . Suicide survivors are spouses, children, parents, siblings, grandparents, military buddies, friends—all who had a relati
The Shining Light in an endless tunnel The Shining Light in an endless tunnel A Survivor Parents Shares Hope- TAPS News Jonathan Jay Gee Sr. Over the last several months, which were full of frustration, anger, depression, and PTSD, I have seen the latest TAPS Magazine lying around the house or maybe a TAPS coffee mug. I've been thankful for my TAPS Peer Mentor whom I regularly talk with mostly through text message. Well, he keeps texting me with words to help in my daily struggle through my son’s birthday, holidays and other key
CNN Takes an Intimate Look at Teen Grief CNN Takes an Intimate Look at Teen Grief CNN Takes an Intimate Look at Teen Grief TAPS What really goes on during a TAPS Good Grief Camp for older children who are grieving the death of a parent or sibling who died while serving their country? This insightful piece offers an intimate look - using the voices of real teens and active duty military service members - to share their thoughts and feelings. Chelsea Carter writes, "loss has forever altered a time in their lives when they should be
Redefining Relationships and Support Circles After Spouse or Partner Loss Redefining Relationships and Support Circles After Spouse or Partner Loss Erin Leigh Nelson & Colleen E. Montague, LMFT After the loss of your spouse or partner, you may be trying to find your place in an entirely new social landscape. You are walking through a complex and emotional time where your relationships are both a lifeline and a source of unexpected challenges. Grief touches every connection you have, creating a new and often disorienting terrain. Relationships with friends and
Saturday Morning Message: Handling the Holidays Saturday Morning Message: Handling the Holidays Saturday Morning Message: Handling the Holidays Carol Lane Good Morning, The flickering light of candles in a darkened room always has a calming effect on me. I appreciate the soothing nature of their gentle glow during the shorter days of the holiday season. Listening to peaceful music can also be helpful. This week’s song sent in by Merry, mother of Wesley, will be perfect for those times when my mind is jumping from one thing to another, whi
Be of Service Be of Service Rebecca Mizener, Surviving Mother of Army PFC Jesse Mizener My son, Jesse Mizener, had a heart for people. He always thought of others. No one was lonely or upset in his presence — he was everyone's friend. After Jesse joined the Army, his first assignment was Fort Lewis, Washington. Jesse, his wife, and two babies weren’t there long before he was deployed to Baghdad, Iraq. It might sound crazy, but I was honestly excited that he was going overseas. I enjoy sending letters an
Thank You for Supporting Our Mission in 2022 Thank You for Supporting Our Mission in 2022 Thank You for Supporting Our Mission in 2022 \| TAPS TAPS TAPS is grateful for the incredible outpouring of support we received in 2022. We are humbled that so many members of our TAPS family brought us along as they honored their loved one; we applaud the communities around the country who gathered to pay tribute to local heroes; and we sincerely thank our growing circle of supporters for sharing the TAPS mission. When you fundraise for TAPS, you a
Steer into the Skid Steer into the Skid Steer into the Skid \| TAPS Randy Beard A strategy for coping with grief Grief feels a lot like winter. Winter is cloudy, overcast and cold. The heavy, gray skies make you want to withdraw. People tend to stay closed up indoors, isolated from their friends. The days are dark and icy and bleak. Our family's grief-winter started when two Army officers showed up on our doorstep early one morning in October 2004. It felt like a cloud of winter descended over everything. Its ic
Attending TAPS Events: Encouragement for the Newcomer Attending TAPS Events: Encouragement for the Newcomer Attending TAPS Events: Encouragement for the Newcomer TAPS When someone we love dies, the world as we once knew it no longer exists. We find ourselves on a journey we never expected or wanted to be on. We feel isolated and we wonder if others understand the pain we feel. Deciding to go to a TAPS event can be difficult for the new survivor. We question how we will fit in, how we will be treated, and what the event will be like. Here are the
Introducing Dayna Wood Introducing Dayna Wood Introducing Dayna Wood Dayna Wood At one point in my life I thought a year was a long time, and in some ways I still agree with that, but at the same time, it often feels like I blink and another year has gone by. The last 13 months have been particularly rough. My fiancé SSG Su Wan Ko was killed in an automobile accident in March 2011. The months without him have felt like years, but the time I spent with him felt too short. It seems to be a cruel joke of life. Now
Ways to Help Grieving Children During the Holidays Ways to Help Grieving Children During the Holidays Ways to Help Grieving Children During the Holidays \| TAPS TAPS Andy McNiel As the holiday season unfolds, it brings a unique mix of emotions for children grappling with the loss of a loved one. Amidst the festive decorations and cheerful gatherings, these young hearts might find themselves in a whirlwind of sadness and joy, often struggling to make sense of these conflicting feelings. But we're here to help. Here are some comforting tips and i
Proactive Support for Survivors of Trauma Proactive Support for Survivors of Trauma Proactive Support for Survivors of Trauma \| TAPS Shauna Springer Editor's note: For more than 10 years, TAPS has comforted and cared for more than 11,500 surviving family members who have lost a military loved one to suicide. Each day, an average of three to four new survivors of suicide loss come to TAPS, and we welcome them with the warm embrace that can only come from those who truly understand their journey. This is the second installment in a f
Saturday Morning Message: Comforting Suggestions from Survivors Saturday Morning Message: Comforting Suggestions from Survivors Saturday Morning Message: Comforting Suggestions from Survivors \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, Sometimes just listening, sharing memories and knowing someone cares like the two women in this picture is the most supportive thing to do when someone is grieving. My neighbor lost her husband a few weeks ago and I used some of the ideas in this message to hopefully give some comfort. I hope you will find some good ideas as well in t
A Recipe for Holiday Wellness A Recipe for Holiday Wellness A Recipe for Holiday Wellness Nancy Heinrich Holiday traditions are part of a family’s collective memory. What was your favorite holiday tradition growing up? Was it making and decorating cookies with your mother? Singing carols with neighbors? Decorating the house? Holiday traditions are part of a family's collective memory. Traditions define families and communities. Children depend on them like they do the security of their favorite blanket. Traditions gro
Savoring Precious Memories: Favorite Foods – Warm Hearts Savoring Precious Memories: Favorite Foods – Warm Hearts Savoring Precious Memories: Favorite Foods – Warm Hearts \| TAPS Rachel Eckels The holidays tend to be a time when beautiful food memories resurface, reminding us of cherished times with family, friends, and loved ones. The beauty of special foods is that they connect us to those we have lost, forever residing in our hearts. This season, we can honor our loved ones by preparing their favorite foods that offer us comfort and joy. For the
Letters from TAPS: TAPS Seminars Letters from TAPS: TAPS Seminars Letters from TAPS: TAPS Seminars Emily Munoz Dear TAPS Family, When this issue reaches your hands, the holiday season will be upon us. While the rest of the world opens up with holiday spirit, those of us who are not at home in a world of celebration may be tempted to close ourselves off, shield ourselves somehow. Worn down by the powerful, insistent tug of how much is missing, we can feel out of place. We wonder if continuity of tradition will bring us
10th Annual National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar 10th Annual National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar 10th Annual National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar \| TAPS Kim Burditt This weekend, TAPS will welcome surviving parents, spouses, children, siblings, and others grieving the death of a military loved one to its 10th annual TAPS National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp on October 5 - 8, 2018. Taking place in the Tampa area at the Innisbrook Resort in Palm Harbor, Flordia, the event will focus on providing support
A List of Ideas to Heal Your Holiday Grief A List of Ideas to Heal Your Holiday Grief A List of Ideas to Heal Your Holiday Grief \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt Grief expert and TAPS Advisory Board member Dr. Alan Wolfelt offers a list of practical ideas that can help us heal our holiday grief. Be Compassionate with Yourself Let your holiday grief be what it is. And let yourself—your new, grieving self—be who you are. Survive If the death was very recent, you may be in survival mode this holiday season. If that’s true for you, it’s O
Changes to Survivor Benefits Coming Changes to Survivor Benefits Coming Changes to Survivor Benefits Coming \| TAPS TAPS Sometimes it can be confusing to keep up with all the changes to survivor benefits. TAPS is here to help you understand some new changes taking place and assist you with previous benefits. Here is an update on what’s new. Special Survivor Indemnity Allowance (SSIA) The SSIA will continue! Since October 2008, surviving spouses whose Survivor Benefit Plan (SBP) payments have been offset (partially or totally
5 Ideas to Make it Through Valentine's Day Without Your Love 5 Ideas to Make it Through Valentine's Day Without Your Love 5 Ideas to Make it Through Valentine's Day Without Your Love August Cabrera For many of us who have lost a sweetheart – a husband, wife, fiancé, significant other – Valentine’s Day and all the related hoopla can be very hard to deal with. Here are five tips that may help keep your head and heart pieced together on what can be a tough day. 1. Be kind. If that means buying yourself flowers, then do it. If that means an entire box o
Letters from TAPS: Time to Retreat Letters from TAPS: Time to Retreat Letters from TAPS: Time to Retreat Erin Jacobson Summertime is here. A time of sunshine, family vacations, and days spent in the great outdoors. For many it's the time we most look forward to in the year. However, for those of us who have lost a loved one, the stark contrast of the summer brightness with our pain can make us feel even more out of place in the world we had known. Many of us question how we can enjoy the simple pleasures of this cheerful sea
Saturday Morning Message: Special Places Saturday Morning Message: Special Places Saturday Morning Message: Special Places \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, This week’s message talks about a special place. Each summer our family went to the coast of Maine, which is shown in the opening picture today. We would go there in late August, just before school started, to catch the last of the warm weather, swim in the ocean and eat lobster. It was a fun time and I remember it fondly. Below, other survivors share memories of their special pl
Saturday Morning Message: Our Change of Thoughts on Mortality Saturday Morning Message: Our Change of Thoughts on Mortality Saturday Morning Message: Our Change of Thoughts on Mortality Carol Lane Good Morning, The picture this week shows the sunset over the water. Although I don't live near a lake or the ocean, I do live by a relatively large river. It's one place I like to go to think about questions like the one from this week's Saturday Morning Message about the change of ideas after the death of a loved one. In an article from the TAPS Magazine
Saturday Morning Message: Peer Mentor Reflections Saturday Morning Message: Peer Mentor Reflections Saturday Morning Message: Peer Mentor Reflections Carol Lane Good Morning, The TAPS Peer Mentor program is a gift for both the mentors and the survivors who become connected. At the beginning of my grief journey, TAPS was smaller and there were many who reached out to act as mentors when I called. The picture today is of my good friend, Darcie D. Sims, Ph.D., CHT, CT, GMS, and me at a TAPS National Seminar, where she spoke to everyone who was
Vice President and Dr. Jill Biden Surprise our TAPS Children at Camp Pendleton Camp Out Vice President and Dr. Jill Biden Surprise our TAPS Children at Camp Pendleton Camp Out Vice President and Dr. Jill Biden Surprise our TAPS Children at Camp Pendleton Camp Out TAPS Wow! What a week for our children who attended the TAPS/USO Good Grief Camp Out in Southern California sponsored in part by generous grants from Northrup Grumman! They were greeted to a surprise visit by the Vice President and Dr. Jill Biden. Each child had the opportunity to personally meet the Vice President and
Saturday Morning Message: Favorite Photos and Introductions Saturday Morning Message: Favorite Photos and Introductions Saturday Morning Message: Favorite Photos and Introductions Carol Lane Good Morning, This week, survivors sent pictures of their loved ones and wrote a bit about the picture, so I thought I would share a picture of my son, Bryon. He was a helicopter crew chief for the Marines. A friend took this picture when they were in the air, and it shows how much he loved what he was doing. I will remember that smile and the excitement in his
Women’s Empowerment Retreats Help You Dig Deep, Make Friends and Press Onward Women’s Empowerment Retreats Help You Dig Deep, Make Friends and Press Onward Women’s Empowerment Retreats Help You Dig Deep, Make Friends and Press Onward \| TAPS Emily Munoz Erin Jacobson When a rock hits water, it’s the initial splash that gets our attention. It’s apparent that something in the world has shifted; something is no longer in the place it was. How similar this is to early grief — that cold initial shock, the feeling of sudden displacement. It can take a while to realize that m
Memorial Day brings a mix of emotions Memorial Day brings a mix of emotions Memorial Day brings a mix of emotions \| TAPS Rachael Hill Memorial Day used to be simply a three-day weekend that our family spent doing some kind of adventure — camping, 4-wheeling, barbecuing, etc. Since becoming a Gold Star family however, the meaning of the day has changed dramatically. The true meaning of the day is now etched into our minds and brings with it sorrow and tears, but also pride in remembrance. Since my husband Jeff’s de
Volunteer Spotlight: Surviving Military Parents Advocate for Fellow Survivors Volunteer Spotlight: Surviving Military Parents Advocate for Fellow Survivors Surviving Military Parents Advocate for Fellow Survivors \| TAPS TAPS For three and a half years, the Chicagoland community has had Andy and Julianne Weiss holding the tender hands of those in grief. Together, they facilitate the Chicago-area TAPS Care Group, a monthly support group for those who know the loss of someone who has served in the military. The couple are Peer Mentors and have trained in ASIST, Applied
Easy Fall Foods to Keep Your Spirits Up Easy Fall Foods to Keep Your Spirits Up Easy Fall Foods to Keep Your Spirits Up Marissa Donovan The changing of the seasons brings up different emotions for everyone. For some, excitement for the leaves changing and the entrance of fall flavors (somehow pumpkin has crept into seemingly every product in the store). For others, it may be more challenging, a reminder that time continues to move forward, or the start of a sometimes difficult holiday season. Whatever the case is with you, taking c
When Families Grieve at the Holidays: Supporting Children Coping with Loss When Families Grieve at the Holidays: Supporting Children Coping with Loss When Families Grieve at the Holidays: Supporting Children Coping with Loss TAPS The holidays can be a magical time of year, but for children who have experienced the death of a parent, sibling, or another significant person in their lives, the holiday season can be tough. It also poses challenges for still-grieving family members and caregivers around them. “The holiday season can be particularly difficult for famil
Helping Grieving Military Children Helping Grieving Military Children Helping Grieving Military Children \| TAPS TAPS Editor’s note: November is Children’s Grief Awareness Month. Throughout this month, we have featured stories from surviving children, parents, grief professionals and TAPS staff to draw attention to the needs of grieving children, their experiences and how best to support them. “Grieving children need to feel that they are being heard and understood. They need caring adults to create an oasis of safety to ex
How Helping Others Can Help Ourselves How Helping Others Can Help Ourselves How Helping Others Can Help Ourselves Mike Aldapa I had just gotten off a flight when I noticed the message from a TAPS staff member on my phone. She asked for my help in supporting a surviving mother, Tatiana Oddson, who lived near me. This surviving mom was running the New York City Half Marathon on the six-month anniversary of her son’s death. It was her tribute to her son, Air Force Airman 1st Class Alfred Komlev. Each month since her son died, Tatia
Young Survivors Find Hope and Friendship Young Survivors Find Hope and Friendship Young Survivors Find Hope and Friendship TAPS At TAPS, we want every child who has lost a fallen hero to know they don't have to grow up alone. Their TAPS family is always here for them, to offer comfort during the hard times and to celebrate life's happy moments. Led by experts in the fields of child development, mental health and education, TAPS Youth Programs provide safe spaces for exploring grief and embracing healing. In 2016, Youth Programs
Heading Back to School Can Be a Challenging Process for Surviving Children Heading Back to School Can Be a Challenging Process for Surviving Children Heading Back to School Can Be a Challenging Process for Surviving Children \| TAPS Andy McNiel Supporting Bereaved Children as They Return to School As you prepare to send your child (children) back to school, we know this can bring on a mix of complicated emotions, for both parents/guardians and bereaved children. At TAPS, you are never alone, and we are here to support you with information and resources to navigat
Klinger’s Korner: Kids, Grief, and the Holidays Klinger’s Korner: Kids, Grief, and the Holidays Klinger’s Korner: Kids, Grief, and the Holidays \| TAPS Andy McNiel The holiday season is a magical time for children of all ages. It is during this time of year that children and teenagers have an extended break from school. They can be with friends and family in settings and doing activities that they may not be able to do other times of the year. At the same time, when children and teenagers are grieving, the holidays can be challenging as the
Saturday Morning Message: BBQ, Apple Pie and other Foods that Remind Us of Love Saturday Morning Message: BBQ, Apple Pie and other Foods that Remind Us of Love BBQ, Apple Pie and other Foods that Remind Us of Love \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, Sharing food that our loved ones liked is the topic for today’s Saturday Morning Message, because today is Culinarians’ Day. The opening picture comes from an article in the TAPS archives titled "Love in the Kitchen" written by Rita, mother of James Shawn. She writes that she and her son liked to cook
Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Favorite Meals Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Favorite Meals Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Favorite Meals Carol Lane Good morning, Last week’s question came from an idea that Bonnie Jo, mother of Andrew, sent along with an article in the Spring 2017 TAPS Magazine, titled, “Making Memories at Mealtimes.” Since the Fourth of July will be celebrated on Tuesday, many of us will share a meal with family and friends. This is one place where memories are made. A week ago, I spent some time with my family w
TAPS Retreats TAPS Retreats Loss Survivors Facing Sudden Loss TAPS A place to relax and heal “I love going to the sibling retreat. I like sharing stories with other siblings; I can connect with them. It helps me deal with my grief and it makes my life easier, to talk about my feelings.” “I cannot tell you how much the widow retreat helped me. I was not sure of what to expect, but left with more than I could ever want. To meet other women like me, to talk with them and hear their stories, might have b
Saturday Morning Message: Helpful Activities Saturday Morning Message: Helpful Activities Saturday Morning Message: Helpful Activities \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, The idea for the question this week came from a discussion we had on the Tuesday general chat about activities that helped lift us from grieving. Debby, wife of Thomas was one of those participating in that chat. She talked about the quilts she makes, so I thought placing her beside one of her quilts would be a good way to open this week’s Saturday Morning Message. It is
Saturday Morning Message: Holiday Coping Strategies Saturday Morning Message: Holiday Coping Strategies Holiday Coping Strategies \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, This week I am sending a picture of the poinsettia I bought for the holiday season. I loved it because it combined both the red and white varieties. Since I can’t have anyone physically in the house during the pandemic, I thought I would give you a virtual peek into my home. December is always a good time for reflection and a time to gather questions for
Grief is a Path Best Shared Grief is a Path Best Shared Grief is a Path Best Shared \| TAPS Perry Monroe We are all different in how our grief journeys unfold; and for me, my turning point came 13 years after the death of my son, U.S. Army Sergeant Christopher Taylor Monroe. For many years, I had held my emotions inside, with no one knowing of the losses I had suffered. Seeing how grief had affected those around me, I did my best to be the solid rock holding things together for everyone else. As a father, I w
Saturday Morning Message: Introducing Our Loved Ones Saturday Morning Message: Introducing Our Loved Ones Saturday Morning Message: Introducing Our Loved Ones Carol Lane Good morning, At every seminar, there is a wall to place pictures of our loved ones, so we can all view them. Now on the new TAPS website, there is a place called the Memorial Hero Wall. When you enter this section, you will not only see pictures of those special people, but you can add a picture of your loved one to the page. This was the inspiration for today’s Saturday Morn
Saturday Morning Message: Sleeping & Grief Saturday Morning Message: Sleeping & Grief Saturday Morning Message: Sleeping & Grief Carol Lane Good Morning, Sleep. What do you do to get the rest that is needed while grieving? That was the question last week. Some survivors sleep too much and others too little. In addition to the replies that were sent in last week, it can be informative to look past articles on grief to find information. Once there, you can search for articles of importance to you. There are two magazine article
A Grateful Nation Honors Fallen Heroes A Grateful Nation Honors Fallen Heroes A Grateful Nation Honors Fallen Heroes TAPS This Memorial Day weekend, as we remember the ultimate sacrifice of our nation’s service members, there are many opportunities around the country to honor their memory. Across the Country National Cemetery Ceremonies The National Cemetery Administration will host Memorial Day ceremonies at VA national cemeteries across the country, with the help of local communities. Most states have a Veterans Affairs n
Saturday Morning Message: Thoughts on a New Year Saturday Morning Message: Thoughts on a New Year Carol Lane Good Morning, It is a new year and for many people that means making resolutions that involve revising our present pattern of behavior or adding something to it. Before changing things, we need to ask if our lives will benefit from changing our behavior or continuing in the same way. When I ask myself questions like that, I find it most helpful to read or ask what others think to get some new ideas. The latest TAPS Magazine include
Reconnecting With Our Military Family After Loss Reconnecting With Our Military Family After Loss Reconnecting With Our Military Family After Loss \| TAPS Elizabeth Culp Sergent I remember the day Brian came home from work and asked if we could talk. He had tossed around the idea of enlisting in the Army a few times in the 7 years we had already been married, and I had always shrugged it off as a daydream and nothing to be concerned with. But that evening in September 2006 was different. He was different. He had already looked into his Milit
Expectations Expectations Expectations Rachael Hill Do you ever wonder why there are always so many expectations put on us as we are working our way down this grief path? Dealing with the death of a loved one is hard enough in itself, but it proves even harder when the people around you add more pressure as to what they think you should, and should not, be doing. They want a timeline of when your grieving will be done and when you’ll be back to “normal.” They want you to get rid of all your loved one’s
Support Support Support Rachael Hill Support… Definition of SUPPORT 1: to hold up or serve as a foundation or prop for Support. It seems like such a simple word but yet there is so much weight behind it. We all need support, no matter what may be going on in our lives, and when you lose someone close to you that support is what helps get you through. For me, some friends stepped up right away and have continued to be there for us throughout this journey, some support came from out of nowhere and
Surviving family creates bucket list for sick dog Surviving family creates bucket list for sick dog Surviving family creates bucket list for sick dog \| TAPS Lalaine Estella Earl has become an online global sensation! This week, he reached the kind of fame that can only be described as viral when he was the star of a heartwarming video that’s been viewed more than 4 million times. His story has been featured in newscasts coast to coast and it’s fair to say America has fallen in love with Earl. Behind the cute pup’s rise from sickl
Volunteer Spotlight: Matthew Navas Volunteer Spotlight: Matthew Navas Volunteer Spotlight: Matthew Navas \| TAPS Melissa Burris Matthew Navas has dedicated himself to serving others. He served his country as an Army combat medic, he served his fellow soldiers. After 9/11, he cared for the victims of the attack at the World Trade Center. Two years ago, Matthew went to the TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp as a corporate volunteer with his employer, Hasbro—the company that makes Monopoly, Play
Gold Star Lapel Button and Next of Kin Deceased Lapel Button Gold Star Lapel Button and Next of Kin Deceased Lapel Button Lapel Buttons for Surviving Family Members - TAPS News Betsy Beard Much confusion surrounds the significance of the lapel pins given to surviving family members shortly after the interment of their loved one who died while serving honorably in the Armed Forces. Although there may be differences in presentation between the branches of service, there is only one law that governs the procurement, awarding, and wearing of the pins. Each
6th Annual TAPS Celebrity Classic 6th Annual TAPS Celebrity Classic 6th Annual TAPS Celebrity Classic Christine Burtt TAPS is grateful for the time and energy that the Cottrells and their team of volunteers put forth each year for the annual TAPS Celebrity Classic. We are humbled by their dedication and thankful for their support. The 6th Annual TAPS Celebrity Classic in Colorado, hosted by Larry Gatlin and the Gatlin Brothers, exceeded expectations both in terms of the fun factor and by the $500,000 raised for the Trag
Three Years Into The After Three Years Into The After Three Years Into The After \| TAPS Kelly Lennon Fitzpatrick It's three years into the ‘After’ and I am not sure who or what I am writing for, but I know that each year, threads of thoughts unravel and I try to spool them back together. The feelings are so fleeting and amorphous that it's hard to categorize the instances neatly. What sticks with me is the missing-ness of my little brother. We have spent a good deal of time mourning the loss of Sergeant Owen J. Lennon
Introducing Michele Marcum Introducing Michele Marcum Introducing Michele Marcum Michele Hiester Marcum I am Michele. And I am a survivor. My story mirrors that of every other TAPS survivor. The plot is the same, the ending ultimately identical, the tone oppressing. And there is no "happily ever after." Someone I love died, and I'm writing my way through the grief and tears in the hope that healing sneaks its way in. I became a bona fide TAPS card-carrying member after my brother, MSGT Michael T. Hiester, encoun
National Wreaths Across America Day National Wreaths Across America Day National Wreaths Across America Day \| TAPS Lalaine Estella Thousands of volunteers will participate in National Wreaths Across America Day on Saturday, December 15, to place wreaths on veterans’ graves at more than a thousand cemeteries throughout the country, including at Arlington National Cemetery. Gina Barnhurst started participating in Wreaths Across America in 2008, two years after her son, Marine Lance Cpl. Eric Herzberg, was killed in Iraq and buri
Our Hearts Are with You, Houston Our Hearts Are with You, Houston Our Hearts Are with You, Houston TAPS Our thoughts and prayers are with everyone in our TAPS family who is affected by the historic flooding in Texas as a result of Hurricane Harvey. We want to do all we can to lessen the added strain on our families. Please know that we have a dedicated, experienced, and knowledgeable Casework Team standing by to deliver support and assistance to all of our surviving military family members. Photo Courtesy Harris County She
Years After Valentine's Loss, the Blessings of Love Remain Years After Valentine's Loss, the Blessings of Love Remain Years After Valentine's Loss, the Blessings of Love Remain \| TAPS Ellen Andrews Chocolate, flowers, candy, cards and romantic dinners. Valentine’s Day conjures up a myriad of images and feelings. You can’t go anywhere in the months of January and early February without being bombarded by store shelves filled with pink and red and “Be Mine” hearts. And while this annual holiday brings warm thoughts and joy to most, it can be
Saturday Morning Message: How do you mark Memorial Day? Saturday Morning Message: How do you mark Memorial Day? Saturday Morning Message: How do you mark Memorial Day? \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, The picture this week shows one of the hugs given last year at the 23rd Annual TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp. On Memorial Day, survivors can be found in many different places at events that honor those who served in our country’s military and gave their lives. Some can be found at an activity in their home state while st
Saturday Morning Message: When Grief Awakes You Saturday Morning Message: When Grief Awakes You Saturday Morning Message: When Grief Awakes You Carol Lane Good Morning, Sleep can be difficult for many survivors after the death of a loved one. Sharing ideas among survivors may be helpful. When we are grieving, it is hard to come up with new ideas, so today we will look at a variety of thoughts survivors have sent. Caryn, mother of Nathan, wrote, "When grief wakes me, it's usually because of a realistic-type dream. I usually can't retur
Five Practical Tips to Reduce Anxiety, Calm Fear Five Practical Tips to Reduce Anxiety, Calm Fear Five Practical Tips to Reduce Anxiety, Calm Fear \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt Editor’s note: This is an excerpt from Dr. Alan Wolfelt’s book “Too Much Loss: Coping with Grief Overload.” Although this book specifically addresses what happens when you experience multiple losses in a short period of time, these tips for dealing with fear and anxiety are useful for anyone experiencing these feelings. Loss naturally makes us fearful because it disrupt
'My brother brought us together’ 'My brother brought us together’ My brother brought us together \| TAPS Deb Lucey In May 2013, I attended the TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar and went to watch Rolling Thunder, the massive motorcycle rally in Washington, D.C., that occurs every Memorial Day weekend. Hundreds of thousands of members on motorcycles do a slow ride, called the Ride to Freedom, to honor the military fallen and their loved ones. The ride starts at the Pentagon and heads to the monuments on the National Mall.
Saturday Mornings Brightened by Sharing Memories Saturday Mornings Brightened by Sharing Memories Saturday Mornings Brightened by Sharing Memories \| TAPS TAPS “Oh, thank you Carol! That means so much. I love writing and it has helped immensely in this grieving process. I love having this outlet to share about my life with Preston, it’s very healing! So thank you guys for allowing me.” Carol Lane, TAPS Online Community and surviving mother of Marine Sergeant Bryon E. Lane That’s what one survivor said about the Saturday Morning Mes
Celebrate Life Celebrate Life Celebrate Life Sherry Viray It was past midnight, the day after my brother died when my phone suddenly rang. By that time, I was already half asleep. Usually when I sleep, I have the phone set on silent. The world could end and I wouldn't care. I needed my sleep as I rarely get any. So I ignored the call. I didn't even get up to see who was calling me so late on a weeknight. Little did I know, only a few hours later when I returned the call, the world I knew actually did end an
Living the Legacy: Small Steps in Speech Living the Legacy: Small Steps in Speech Living the Legacy ~ Small Steps in Speech Amanda Charney At some point in our grief journey many of us conclude that we will go on living—not merely existing or even just surviving, but truly living—for those who died. After all, we are the legacy that our loved ones left behind. ~ Betsy Beard, Editor TAPS Magazine It all started years back at a Philadelphia Eagles game. My brother-in-law invited me down to tailgate on New Year’s Eve. He had been tr
To Infinity and Beyond To Infinity and Beyond To Infinity and Beyond Linda Ambard Running the Dopey Challenge at Disney World was about more than a race for me. I have now completed 79 marathons, but this marathon (plus a half marathon, 10 K, and 5 K) represented more than a taxing physical challenge. The miles jump started 2014-my year of hope. What better place to start it than the place where the beginning of the end started; many happy memories came flooding back, and I was able to take that first terrifying
Letters from TAPS: From the Volunteer Coordinator Letters from TAPS: From the Volunteer Coordinator Letters from TAPS: From the Volunteer Coordinator Jerome Tennille Dear TAPS Family, Nearly twenty-eight years ago in 1985, the General Assembly of the United Nations designated December 5 of every year as International Volunteer Day. It is an annual celebration of all that is achieved by volunteers around the world. As we observe that special day and enter the season of winter holidays, with their emphasis on light and warmth and giving, I
Father's Club Father's Club Father's Club Bob Bagosy Four years ago on August 16, 2009 Tommy's friend and hooch mate Cpl. Nick Roush, U.S. Army Special Ops, was killed in action in Afghanistan while serving with a MARSOC Special Operations Team. As I found out later, Nick and Tommy took turns on patrols; he night Nick was killed he had volunteered to take my son's patrol. The vehicle ran over an IED and Nick died. Tommy never mentioned to me what happened, nor did I notice the black bracelet he wore o
Feelings In the Spaces of My Heart For Which There Are No Words Feelings In the Spaces of My Heart For Which There Are No Words Feelings In the Spaces of My Heart For Which There Are No Words Linda Ambard When Phil's candle burned out far too early, I snuffed out a part of me with him. In the 23 years of marriage, I found a safe harbor to weather the storms in. Before I met Phil, I didn't have laughter in my life and I yearned for a place to call home. Marrying a military man meant that my idea of home changed from a location to a concept. Home was wh
Safe Zones: Boundaries in Early Grief Safe Zones: Boundaries in Early Grief Safe Zones: Boundaries in Early Grief Emily Munoz Author Bill Bryson wrote a book called “I’m A Stranger Here, Myself,” which chronicles his re-entry into American culture after living in the United Kingdom for 20 years. While the book isn’t about grief, it is about change and what happens when the world around us changes without our consent or awareness. Sometimes we become strangers to ourselves. Doesn't it often feel, especially in early grief, as t
Returning to Work: Routine Can Help the Healing Process Returning to Work: Routine Can Help the Healing Process Returning to Work: Routine Can Help the Healing Process \| TAPS Rachel Kodanaz Returning to work may be daunting to someone who has just suffered the death of a family member or close loved one. Mustering the courage to re-engage in normal daily activities feels so distant, yet it has been proven that returning to work, school or worship plays a significant role in well-being. When returning to work after my husband, Rod, suddenly passe
Saturday Morning Message: Resolutions for the New Year Saturday Morning Message: Resolutions for the New Year Saturday Morning Message: Resolutions for the New Year \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, My resolution comes from the many years I have been connected with TAPS. I look forward to working with all of you and welcome you to the new year of Saturday Morning Messages. My resolution this year is to attend more TAPS events, so I can get to know some of you in person. I know you will enjoy reading survivors’ resolutions in this week’s edition.
How to Manage the Loss of a Loved One From a Distance How to Manage the Loss of a Loved One From a Distance How to Manage the Loss of a Loved One From a Distance \| TAPS Janice Miller It was difficult when my Uncle Ted died earlier this year and I was unable to attend his funeral. I felt like I couldn’t be there for my mom and the rest of the family, which added to my feelings of sadness and grief. I was, however, able to find some creative ways to help my mother and give her the support she needed. It felt like a modest effort, but I could tell
Saturday Morning Message: Holiday Traditions Saturday Morning Message: Holiday Traditions TAPS Saturday Morning Message: Holiday Traditions Carol Lane Good Morning, After the loss of a loved one, many find it hard to observe holidays. Today two articles are shared that talk about reaching for the light through the darkness at this time of year. Kim Ruocco wrote a very meaningful article. The list of thoughts she included are listed below. To read the whole article, go to “Finding New Perspective on Holiday Traditions When You’re Gr
Today Is My Day Today Is My Day Today Is My Day Linda Ambard So many people spend their lives in quiet desperation thinking of one day - someday. I was no different and, at times, I am still stuck in the rut of day-to-day responsibilities and routines. Mired in the frenetic pace and wanting more, never quite reaching that elusive someday, is exactly where I was when Phil was killed. I was happy sitting on the sidelines waiting, but I knew something was missing for me and for my life. When Phil married me,
3 C’s for Holiday Grief 3 C’s for Holiday Grief 3 C’s for Holiday Grief \| TAPS Kenneth Doka For those who are grieving, the holidays can be unfamiliar terrain. Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah or Kwanzaa, this time is filled with fond remembrances of loved ones who are on your mind yet absent from your traditions and rituals. Acknowledging the difficulties of holidays after loss does not make a potentially difficult time any easier, but preparing for the holidays by tapping into helpful coping strategies ma
Saturday Morning Message: Gifts from Our Loved Ones Saturday Morning Message: Gifts from Our Loved Ones Saturday Morning Message: Gifts from Our Loved Ones \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, The opening picture shows photos of the loved ones of those who sailed on the TAPS New England cruise. I thought it shows that our loved ones gave the gift of love just by being themselves. This week survivors share some other special presents their loved ones offered. Some are physical items and others are memories the survivors carry on to others. I know y
The Stars Align for Stars4TAPS: TAPS’ Network of Support at Paramount and CBS The Stars Align for Stars4TAPS: TAPS’ Network of Support at Paramount and CBS TAPS Staff Everyone at TAPS carries a story — one of love, and of loss — that lives on each time we share it, each time we say their names. In the ongoing Stars4TAPS story, 2025 will forever be a stand-out chapter, one that came together during a heartfelt TAPS cameo on the NCIS holiday episode, “Heaven and Nature,” which aired on Dec. 16, 2025. But, like most memories and midseason finales, though, the story goes
Finding My Peace Through the Anger Finding My Peace Through the Anger Stacy Anne Case Bartle, Surviving Spouse of Army SGT Willard Jason Case I’ve always been a person who uses every minute and every action to serve some purpose — a multitasking queen, some might say. If I have a minute to watch TV, I can also fold clothes. During our 20-minute commute to town or school, I’ll have a meeting with the kids about who needs to be where and when, or I can return that phone call on my to-do list. So, what is the purpose of writin
Care within Your Community Care within Your Community Care within Your Community \| TAPS TAPS In addition to peer support and services that TAPS provides, we also connect you to grief resources close to home. Upon request, TAPS provides a detailed report of support within your community. We do research and make the phone calls to ensure the available groups are an appropriate fit for you. We find out if groups are actively meeting, when the next meeting will be and what you can expect the first time you go. Photo: Pe
Sharing Love One Mask at a Time Sharing Love One Mask at a Time Sharing Love One Mask at a Time \| TAPS Terri Jones Photo courtesy of Terri Jones. You see face masks everywhere these days. What used to be reserved for the medical community has become commonplace in our daily lives. And as we often see when a challenge arises, our nation has sprung into action to help fill a need. Companies that had normal production halted due to the coronavirus started making masks. And in homes across America, sewing machines be