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Horse Show Recognizes Military Service and Families of the Fallen Horse Show Recognizes Military Service and Families of the Fallen Horse Show Recognizes Military Service and Families of the Fallen \| TAPS Lalaine Estella Seven-year-old Arianna Bryant has always had a love of horses. Her mother says she is crazy about horses “in a very good way.” So when Arianna had a chance to meet Klinger, the horse in her favorite book “Klinger: A Story of Honor and Hope,” she was very excited. “I like horses because most of them are nice and stand still when you brus
Saturday Morning Message: A Different Path Saturday Morning Message: A Different Path Saturday Morning Message: A Different Path Carol Lane Good Morning, There were many interesting responses to Sarah's question this week. The idea of the question was to share what you are doing since the death of your loved one that you didn't expect. All of the responses talked about honoring loved ones by helping others or dedicating work to the communities that supported their families in the time of need. This week there was also a great blog
Supporting Grieving Children During the Holidays Supporting Grieving Children During the Holidays Supporting Grieving Children During the Holidays Ami Neiberger-Miller The holidays can be a magical time of year, but for children who have lost a parent, sibling, or other significant person in their lives, the holiday season can be an emotional minefield. It can also pose additional challenges for their still-grieving, surviving parents and other family members. For fifteen years the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors has helped sur
A Visit With Vincent A Visit With Vincent A Visit With Vincent London Bell I was excited and nervous in the days leading up to my visit. Then the day came. On Wednesday, March 4, 2015, I took the metro train to the Arlington National Cemetery stop. The moment I stepped off the train, I took a deep breath..... then another deep breath.......and another. I could see the entrance to Arlington as I walked off the elevator and I was in immediate awe of its beauty. I could feel the butterflies flying around in my st
Cry to the End of Your Tears Cry to the End of Your Tears Cry to the End of Your Tears Emily Munoz Let's face it — crying can be uncomfortable. Not only is it hard to see others cry (and don't worry, at TAPS, you'll never cry alone), it's hard to put your emotions out there for others to see. Early in my grief, I remember crying in grocery stores, in line at the post office, in church. I cried in the shower. I cried every time I drove. And, most of the time, I chose not to care. Because I wasn't done — I was not fin
Purple Up! For Military Kids and TAPS Legacy Mentors Purple Up! For Military Kids and TAPS Legacy Mentors Purple Up! For Military Kids and TAPS Legacy Mentors \| TAPS TAPS Purple Up! Day is a special observance during each April’s Month of the Military Child, where the public is asked to wear purple to show their support for the service and sacrifices made by our nation’s military children. At TAPS, we support all those children who are grieving a military loss and honor their sacrifices each and every day. Our Legacy Mentors, surviving childr
Best-Practice Suicide Postvention Model Provides Roadmap for Growth Best-Practice Suicide Postvention Model Provides Roadmap for Growth Best-Practice Suicide Postvention Model Provides Roadmap for Growth \| TAPS TAPS The TAPS Suicide Prevention and Postvention Program placed increased focus on its best-practice TAPS Suicide Postvention Model in 2019, building the 11th annual National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar around the three-phase model so that survivors in attendance could see a clearer path to their post-traumatic growth and defining themselves as m
You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part Three You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part Three You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part Three \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt Editor's Note This is part three of a six-part series adapted from Dr. Alan Wolfelt's book, You're Not Crazy — You're Grieving. Part one and part two appeared in the summer and fall issues of TAPS Magazine. Acknowledging the Illusion of Control Death naturally throws thoughts, feelings, and behaviors into disarray. Nothing may feel “normal” right now.
Armed Forces Cycling Classic supports TAPS Armed Forces Cycling Classic supports TAPS Armed Forces Cycling Classic supports TAPS TAPS What started as a small cycling event in 1998 in Clarendon has grown today into one of the region’s premier professional and amateur cycle races. The Armed Forces Cycling Classic gets underway June 1 and 2, 2019, in Arlington, Virginia, with TAPS as the beneficiary of race proceeds. Robert Laybourn, president and founder of Armed Forces Cycling Classic, comes from a family with a proud tradition of se
John Jarecki, Good Grief Camp mentor and TAPS supporter John Jarecki, Good Grief Camp mentor and TAPS supporter John Jarecki, Good Grief Camp mentor and TAPS supporter \| TAPS Lalaine Estella While reading his local paper on Memorial Day weekend in 2010, John Jarecki came across an article about TAPS Good Grief Camp. “There’s a camp for children who lost a loved one in the military?” he thought to himself. He was shocked to realize there was an organization for people just like him. He immediately drove over to the Arlington hotel where the TAPS
Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Weekend Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Weekend Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Weekend Carol Lane Good Morning, On Memorial Day, survivors can be found in many different places at events that honor those who served in our country’s military and gave their lives. Some are at the 23rd Annual TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp, others can be found at an activity in their home state, still others may choose a location that is special to their loved ones, and some
Happy Father's Day Happy Father's Day Happy Father's Day Terry Meyer Happy Father's Day. It used to be. I can recall few details about each one I experienced, but I do remember it being special because either the kids were still at home and we did something special, or the kids were grown and I would receive a special phone call and good conversation with them. Either way, it was a day that reminded me of the special blessings that come from having children and carrying the honored title of "Dad." I remem
What about the Children What about the Children What about the Children Shanette Booker Here I am about to hit my 2 year mark, and for the first time it hit me….what about the children! I can't believe how easily we can forget about them when it comes to the grieving process. During my first year, I explained to my boys that Dada had died and then I tried to prepare them for what would happen at Dada's (military) funeral. After that I think the whole child thing became out of sight, out of mind. The school offe
The Healing Book The Healing Book The Healing Book Betsy Beard Facing the Death—and Celebrating the Life—of Someone You Love Ellen Sabin wrote The Healing Book: Facing the Death—and Celebrating the Life—of Someone You Love for her nieces and nephews when her family faced several deaths in one summer. She says she also wrote it for her siblings who were walking a tightrope as they faced their grief while hoping to comfort and protect their children. Finally, she wrote it for herself as a way to feel the loss,
Courses and Classmates Courses and Classmates Ken Naglak, Surviving Father of U.S. Navy ABHAN Joseph Naglak Losing a person with whom we shared a close bond is shattering. That is certainly how I felt after the loss of my son, Joe. One moment, I was thinking about his recent engagement to the girl of his dreams and their wedding plans; Joe’s fiancée and her mom worked diligently while Joe was underway — place and date set, plans were moving along superbly. Hours later, as the day was ending for me, I received a ph
Making It Matter Making It Matter Cambridge and Lisa Brown * Surviving Son and Spouse of Retired Navy MCPO Robert Brown After losing his dad to cancer the day after his 7th birthday, Cambridge Brown arrived reluctantly at his first Good Grief Camp in 2023 feeling hurt and out of place. Now 11, and a three-time Good Grief Camp attendee, Cambridge — well, let’s let him tell you… On that first day at TAPS, I was 8 years old, and I was sad. I didn’t really want to be there; I didn’t want to talk to anybody.
Are You Ready To Rumble... With TAPS and Dare to Lead™? Are You Ready To Rumble... With TAPS and Dare to Lead™? Are You Ready To Rumble... With TAPS and Dare to Lead™? \| TAPS Terri Williams "I have watched over 300 TAPS Survivors graduate from our Dare to LeadTM program. Their growth, connection, and commitment to learn and help one another is a demonstration of the heart of the TAPS Community." ✯ Terri L. Williams, TAPS Senior Advisor and Dare to LeadTM Facilitator, Survivor of the 9/11 Attack on the Pentagon More than 300 TAPS
Atlanta Falcons Andre Roberts Selected for the 2017 Salute to Service Award for Supporting Military Families Atlanta Falcons Andre Roberts Selected for the 2017 Salute to Service Award for Supporting Military Families Atlanta Falcons Andre Roberts Selected for the 2017 Salute to Service Award for Supporting Military Families \| TAPS TAPS Media Andre Roberts has made time for our TAPS families and always welcomes them with open arms and a big smile whether it's on the field or off. We celebrate his recent accolade as the recipient of the NFL's Salute to Service Award and are honored that TAPS was
Saturday Morning Message: Self Care Ideas Saturday Morning Message: Self Care Ideas Saturday Morning Message: Self Care Ideas \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, We are on a break and republishing the responses from one of our favorite topics, self-care. We’ll be back next week with the replies to Cheryl’s question. Self-care is something that is often overlooked when we are grieving, so I think it is a good idea to post an article about it every so often. The responses this week come from the TAPS Saturday Morning Message archives. Th
The Fabric of Grief The Fabric of Grief The Fabric of Grief Sarah Greene (What’s in Your Closet?) Whatever you find in your jewelry box, drawers, and closets these days, rest assured that you are not alone and that your tastes will likely change yet again. Has your wardrobe changed since the loss of your loved one? I can tell you that mine has definitely changed. I have expressed (and sometimes embarrassed) myself in almost every clothing choice throughout my grief, and I don't think I am alone. The first
Video: Using Your Voice for Change Video: Using Your Voice For Change Use Your Voice For Change Webinar \| TAPS Institute TAPS Institute For Hope & Healing Learn how the TAPS policy team is advocating for you on Capitol Hill on a variety of issues from remarriage to toxic exposure. You will also learn how to advocate for yourself and your family. How to find and contact your Members of Congress. How to share your story in a productive way to create change. Your voice matters. YOU can and will make a difference! This webinar is
Saturday Morning Message: Practicing Self Care Saturday Morning Message: Practicing Self Care Saturday Morning Message: Practicing Self Care \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, This man is doing one of the first things I do after I get up in the morning — have a cup of coffee and try to reflect on my plans for the day. An article from the TAPS archives titled Open Your Heart to Healing: Emotional Engagement in Your Own Life by Emily Muñoz gives a list of ways to help practice self care both physically and mentally. In addition to this articl
Video: TAPS Honor Guard Gala Highlights Video: TAPS Honor Guard Gala Highlights Video: 2023 TAPS Honor Guard Gala Highlights TAPS Media The TAPS Honor Guard Gala gives the opportunity to remember the love of our fallen heroes, celebrate their lives and share the stories of the journey military survivors experience with their TAPS family. Watch the highlights of the March 22, 2023 TAPS Honor Guard Gala, including clips from TAPS Board of Directors Deborah Mullen, TAPS President and Founder Bonnie Carroll, TAPS Military Mentor of t
Video: Suicide Prevention Public Service Announcement Video: Suicide Prevention Public Service Announcement Video: Suicide Prevention Public Service Announcement \| TAPS TAPS Media As a suicide loss survivor, what does suicide prevention mean to you?⁣ ⁣ We asked TAPS survivors of suicide loss this question and their answers were full of hope.⁣ ⁣ “Suicide prevention efforts can be healing and even empowering as we turn our grief into action based on our own experiences,” surviving spouse Dr. Carla Stumpf-Patton, TAPS Senior Director of Postventio
Watch the Gold Star Children film Trailer Watch the Gold Star Children film Trailer Watch the Gold Star Children film Trailer TAPS Gold Star Children is a documentary feature film that takes an intimate look at American children who've lost a parent to war. The film follows the parallel journeys of two generations of grieving children; recent war orphans who’ve lost military parents serving in Iraq, Afghanistan, Bosnia and here at home, learn to heal alongside the now adult-child survivors of the Vietnam War. The film brings together
Video: TAPS Honor Guard Gala Highlights Video: TAPS Honor Guard Gala Highlights Video: 2025 TAPS Honor Guard Gala Highlights TAPS Media The TAPS Honor Guard Gala is one of the most inspirational and significant events honoring our military families. It unites guests from across the nation including survivors of military loss, senior military leaders, administration officials, TAPS supporters, congressional representatives to celebrate the spirit of American patriotism. Watch the highlights of the March 25, 2025 TAPS Honor Guard Ga
Ongoing Support for Survivors of Trauma Ongoing Support for Survivors of Trauma Ongoing Support for Survivors of Trauma \| TAPS Shauna Springer Editor’s note: For more than 10 years, TAPS has comforted and cared for more than 11,500 surviving family members who have lost a military loved one to suicide. Each day, an average of three to four new survivors of suicide loss come to TAPS, and we welcome them with the warm embrace that can only come from those who truly understand their journey. This is the fourth installment in a five-
Showing up for Yourself Showing up for Yourself Showing up for Yourself Emily Munoz Nichole Bukowski The grief journey requires us to do a lot of things we’d rather not: face uncertain futures, grieve deeply, learn to ache. And regardless of how little we want to face the tasks of mourning, at some point we have no choice. However, the energy required to face grief’s demands can draw on our willpower to make decisions, especially those that take advantage of life’s opportunities. Just as the demands of grief call
Talking to Children About Suicide Talking to Children About Suicide Talking to Children About Suicide Kim Ruocco One of the most challenging issues following a death by suicide is what and how to tell children. Widespread inaccurate information compounds this already challenging issue for those caring for grieving children. When a loved one dies by suicide, it could take some time to trust your instincts and follow your heart again, so credible information and trustworthy guidance is critical. Children are egocentric, me
A Stillness Among the Trees A Stillness Among the Trees A Stillness Among the Trees Abi Ruth Martin Heading to Bainbridge Island, Washington, for my first TAPS Empowerment Week of Renewal, I was nervous and apprehensive. Usually, I am surrounded by friends and family when reflecting on my brother’s death and its impact on me. But this week, I would be sharing and talking about this intimate part of my life with people I had never met before. Breathing in the salty sea air, I was reminded of Jack’s life in the Seatt
Left Behind Left Behind Left Behind \| TAPS Scott McCutcheon Never in my 62 years on this planet have I ever met and truly connected with 20 new brothers the way I did at my first TAPS Men’s Retreat at Camp Operation BBQ Relief (OBR) at Lake of the Ozarks. That miracle happened in the days and nights we spent together in late July. I think every man there used the word “connection” multiple times in our conversations. That is just what we did. We connected with each other. Prior to my a
Spotlight on Service: Ruth Roberts Spotlight on Service: Ruth Roberts Spotlight on Service: Ruth Roberts TAPS Is the desire to volunteer the product of nature or nurture? In the case of TAPS volunteer Ruth Roberts, it may be a combination. Ruth was born a fifth generation Dutch citizen in The Dutch East Indies, now Indonesia. During World War II, her father suffered brutal treatment as a prisoner of war, and her mother, along with Ruth and two of her siblings, lived in Japanese detention. After the war, a bitter struggle for
Spotlight on Service: Mardee McDaniel Spotlight on Service: Mardee McDaniel Spotlight on Service: Mardee McDaniel TAPS What motivates someone to volunteer for TAPS year after year? The reasons are different for each individual, but often it all comes back to the people we serve. It’s the number one reason for many of our volunteers. One such volunteer, who has been coming back for 14 years, is Mardee McDaniel: California native, ex-software programmer, and mother of two sons, 18-year-old Matt and 15-year-old Ryan. Mardee first
Saturday Morning Message: Honoring Our Loved Ones Saturday Morning Message: Honoring Our Loved Ones TAPS Saturday Morning Message: Honoring Our Loved Ones Carol Lane Good Morning, The picture this week is the card that Carmen, mother of Charles wrote about later in the message. I thought it was so special that it deserved to be the first thing people saw when they opened this week’s Saturday Morning Message. Survivors shared the many different ways they they honor their loved ones. I thought I would add mine as well. This Saturday Morning M
The Holidays Are Here Again The Holidays Are Here Again The Holidays Are Here Again Jill Harrington-LaMorie For survivors who have experienced the death of a loved one, the shadow of grief often darkens the weeks from Thanksgiving through New Year’s Day. The holidays can be a less than welcome time of year for those who have lost a loved one, sometimes one of dreaded anticipation and relieved conclusion. Because they have lost a loved one, grievers find themselves dreading the holidays. SUGGESTIONS FOR MANAGING THE S
Finding Your Way through the Holidays Finding Your Way through the Holidays Finding Your Way through the Holidays Andrea Hug A Guide for Parents of Grieving Children The holiday season is here. At least that’s what the advertisers think. We hear “Happy Holidays,” “Feliz Navidad,” and “Happy New Year” all the time and wonder if we will ever be happy again. For those of us who are grieving, getting from one day to the next may be all we can manage during this season. Grieving is the hardest and most demanding work you will eve
Traumatic Grief Traumatic Grief Traumatic Grief Jill Harrington-LaMorie Are you at risk for post traumatic stress? Imagine driving down the street and crossing an intersection. You glance quickly left and right, but out of nowhere you are hit by an oncoming vehicle. The impact is painful, crushing, debilitating. It takes your breath away and spirals you out of control for what seems like an eternity. Spinning, spinning, spinning, you finally come to a stop and have the sudden realization that you have surv
I Didn’t Cry This Morning I Didn’t Cry This Morning I Didn’t Cry This Morning Dennis Apple During my lifetime I have endured a few severe winters. These were the winters when the wind was bitter cold, when several days passed without the appearance of the sun. The snowfall was extremely heavy, and travel was difficult. During those winters, I eagerly looked forward to the first signs of spring. As we approached the end of February and rolled into March, I knew the signs to look for. We have a tulip bed in our fron
teams4taps 2022 Replay teams4taps 2022 Replay teams4taps 2022 Replay \| TAPS TAPS Thanks to the generosity and hospitality of sports organizations across the country and the United Kingdom, TAPS helped surviving families honor their heroes and make incredible memories alongside their favorite athletes and teams. Take a look at some of our favorite teams4taps moments from 2022. The San Francisco 49ers created a special experience for a TAPS family at their November 13 Salute to Service game, which included
Camaraderie and Comfort Camaraderie and Comfort Camaraderie and Comfort \| TAPS TAPS In small towns and big cities, at a coffee shop in a quiet room—the comfort and camaraderie of your TAPS family is right around the corner and close to home. Whether you want to talk about your grief and gain insight into how others are coping, share a casual visit or participate in an activity where you can enjoy the sights and sounds of nature—the love and care of TAPS is present where you live, work and play. TAPS Togethers and
Volunteer Spotlight: Bethany Sutherland Jones Spotlight on Service: Bethany Sutherland Jones Spotlight on Service: Bethany Sutherland Jones \| TAPS Sharon Paz When Bethany Jones first volunteered with TAPS, it was crystal clear that service was a quality deeply ingrained in her identity. Bethany had the benefit of seeing service to country modeled by her parents growing up as an Air Force daughter. That service was echoed when later she became an Air Force wife and mother. Over the many years of moving from one duty assignme
Postvention and Posttraumatic Growth Postvention and Posttraumatic Growth Postvention and Posttraumatic Growth \| TAPS Carla Stumpf Patton Setting the Standard in Care following Suicide Loss TAPS has been caring for all those who have experienced the death of a military loved one since its inception in 1994, where outreach to survivors was established to offer support and resources to all, regardless of their relationship to the deceased or the manner of death. Always striving to enhance and expand services to meet the needs of
Finding Peace, One Piece at a Time Finding Peace, One Piece at a Time Finding Peace, One Piece at a Time \| TAPS Amy Tucci In life, we refer to our loved one’s possessions as their stuff and things. In death, they signify forever connections to cherished memories. – Rachel Kodanaz Rachel Kodanaz, whose husband, Rod, died suddenly when she was 31, knows of what she writes in her new and immensely helpful book, Finding Peace, One Piece at a Time. Kodanaz found intense meaning and intimacy in Rod’s belongings following his dea
The Gift of Mentorship: Caring for Our Youngest Military Survivors The Gift of Mentorship: Caring for Our Youngest Military Survivors The Gift of Mentorship: Caring for Our Youngest Military Survivors \| TAPS TAPS We can all remember that special gift — the one we were excited to buy for another. We went to the store with a smile, imagining its recipient’s expression as the package was opened. In the first two years as a TAPS Military Mentor, Air Force Col. Peter Doty had that experience. He came into the TAPS fold after losing a close friend in the spring o
Spring Clean Your Finances Spring Clean Your Finances USAA Educational Foundation Birds singing, flowers blooming, spring is here. It is the perfect time for fresh starts, and your finances can be one of them. If you’re ready to begin, take these seven steps to do a little financial spring cleaning. Even if you can only tackle one at a time, each step can lead to greater financial security and peace of mind. Your Financial Spring-Cleaning Checklist Have a financial game plan. Life now may be very different than wh
From Grief to Giving Back: A TAPS Helpline Associate Shares Her Journey From Grief to Giving Back: A TAPS Helpline Associate Shares Her Journey From Grief to Giving Back: A TAPS Helpline Associate Shares Her Journey \| TAPS Kristi Stolzenberg Vanessa Hanna-Verrett There are moments in life when exactly what you need meets you where you are. Some people credit this to a higher power, some give a nod to lucky stars, and others call it chance. Vanessa Hanna-Verrett, a TAPS Helpline associate, doesn’t believe anything happens by chance. Vanessa wasn’t always an associa
Finding a Sense of Belonging In Grief Finding a Sense of Belonging In Grief Finding a Sense of Belonging In Grief \| TAPS Marilyn Weisenburg Your heart has broken into a million little pieces and you feel like you can’t take another breath. Stunned beyond your capacity to think through what you need to do next, your entire world has become utterly undone. The ability to fit the pieces back together is insurmountable. You are broken, numb, lost. The thought of ever moving forward from that moment you were told of the death of you
Suicide Survivor Voice Suicide Survivor Voice Suicide Survivor Voice Kim Ruocco I thought my life was over when my husband, Marine Corp Major John Ruocco took his own life. The thought of going on and raising my two young sons by myself was overwhelming. I could not imagine how I was going to get myself through it, let alone my boys. I felt alone, confused and isolated. I knew that no one would understand what I was feeling. I didn't know anyone that experienced this kind of loss. I felt ashamed and confused,
Klinger’s Korner: Model & Teach Healthy Coping Klinger’s Korner: Model & Teach Healthy Coping Klinger’s Korner: Model & Teach Healthy Coping \| TAPS Andy McNiel “Children are keen observers but poor interpreters.” ~ Rudolf Dreikurs Children are like sponges, absorbing the world around them. They watch our actions during and reactions to situations as they occur. They hear the words we say in various settings and circumstances. They are paying attention to the way we react to them — when they play, when they are upset, and when th
Saturday Morning Message: New Ventures Saturday Morning Message: New Ventures Saturday Morning Message: New Ventures Carol Lane Good morning, After the initial pain of grief has lessened, many find that undertaking a new hobby or pastime can offer comfort. This week’s opening picture is from Caryn, mother of Nathan and spouse of Micheal, who writes later in the message about the art of crochet and how it has uplifted her. This week’s blog has many suggestions with ideas you might want to try. In addition to the responses that c
Webinar: Grief Support for Military Children Webinar: Grief Support for Military Children - A Guide for School Personnel Webinar: Grief Support for Military Children TAPS TAPS is honored to host, through the sponsorship of the American Hospice Foundation, a webinar for school professionals and all those who work with school aged children. Select image below to play webinar. taps professionals, webinar on child grief Webinar: Grief Support for Military Children Video Container Block This webinar is in support of National Suicide Preven
Money Matters Money Matters Money Matters Terri Starliper Dealing with Death, Dollars, & Sense On August 5, 2000, I married USAF Technical Sergeant Christopher Sheaffer. We had been together for almost 3 years. Chris was a Freefall Instructor at the Yuma Proving Grounds in Arizona. I was an accountant in Phoenix. Chris had two daughters from a previous marriage. We had bought a fixer-upper house in Phoenix with land where we could keep our horses. I had been recently promoted. We were set. Life was pict
Run and Remember: Finding Our Stride Run and Remember: Finding Our Stride Run and Remember: Finding Our Stride Marie Campbell How the Marine Corps Marathon became a fundraiser for TAPS On June 25, 1996, at three o’clock in the morning, my life changed forever when three Air Force officials knocked on my door to tell me that my husband and best friend, Dee “Soup” Campbell, was one of nineteen Airmen who did not survive a terrorist attack at the Khobar Towers Military Housing Complex in Saudi Arabia. I couldn’t comprehend this, s
Embracing Your Vulnerability During the Holidays Embracing Your Vulnerability During the Holidays Embracing Your Vulnerability During the Holidays \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt Grief, the holidays, and vulnerability naturally go together because when someone in our lives dies, the holidays — and all the nostalgia they bring — can heighten our feelings of vulnerability. Being vulnerable is the opposite of protecting ourselves because when we protect ourselves, we create barriers and shields that safeguard us from harm. Common emotional shields
Helping a Grandparent Who Is Grieving Helping a Grandparent Who Is Grieving Helping a Grandparent Who Is Grieving Alan Wolfelt "When a grandchild dies, grandparents grieve twice. They mourn the loss of the child and they feel the pain of their own child's suffering. Sometimes we forget about the grandparents when a child dies. You can help by not forgetting, by offering the grandparents your love, support and presence in the weeks and months to come." ~ From Healing a Grandparent's Grieving Heart by Alan Wolfelt A child or
Finding My Faith Finding My Faith Finding My Faith Rachael Hill I don’t normally write about my faithin my blog but something hit me recently that I just have to share. This past month my boys and I went to visit some friends out of state. Not just any friends, but my FLO (Family Liaison Officer) and his wife who we have become extremely close with since my husband’s death 27 months ago. I had known Daniel for many years before hebecame my FLO and he had worked very closely with my husband Jeff on numerous o
Saturday Morning Message: Paying Respects Saturday Morning Message: Paying Respects Saturday Morning Message: Paying Respects \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, While reading the latest TAPS magazine, I came across an article titled “The Love Languages of Grief” written by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. In it, he lists the five primary ways from Gary Chapman’s book “The Five Love Languages” that help us feel loved. When a friend has a loved one die, this article can help us know what to do to make him or her feel our care. The responses this
Saturday Morning Message: Survivors Offer Support to New Survivors Saturday Morning Message: Survivors Offer Support to New Survivors Saturday Morning Message: Survivors Offer Support to New Survivors Carol Lane Good Morning, Survivors talked this week about ways to support those who are new to the path of grief. Some great answers were written and those who replied also shared their feelings about the journey as they continue. Most of them considered having someone to listen as the top priority and I would agree with that as well. There were some other int
30 Fields, 1 Dream 30 Fields, 1 Dream 30 Fields, 1 Dream \| TAPS TAPS Quiet moments alone on deployment create space in the mind for reflection, missing home, and planning for the future. While deployed and separated from his family in 2014, Air Force Colonel Ronald “Erick” (call sign Fangs) Gilbert used one such quiet moment to set an ambitious goal to visit all 30 Major League Baseball stadiums with his family — wife, Kasia, and sons, Dane and Chase — before his oldest, Dane turned 18 in July 2024. At the hear
Military Child: Acknowledge the Sacrifice Your Children and Teenagers Have Made this April Military Child: Acknowledge the Sacrifice Your Children and Teenagers Have Made this April Military Child: Acknowledge the Sacrifice Your Children and Teenagers Have Made this April \| TAPS TAPS April is the Month of the Military Child, and while there are many ways to recognize military children during this month — like wearing purple on Purple Up Day, April 15, there are also opportunities to celebrate our surviving children and teenagers at home by acknowledging their sacrifice and connec
Flashback Fridays: Sharing hope and love with a new generation of military children Sharing hope and love with a new generation of military children Sharing hope and love with a new generation of military children \| TAPS TAPS Each Friday, please visit our blog and join us as we take a look back at stories, people and events that have shaped who we are today. We are a family of survivors honoring our selfless heroes who paid the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom. We are grieving parents, spouses, children, siblings, grandparents, fiancées, battle buddies and loved ones. W
TAPS Partners with Broadway Musical Bandstand on Film Release TAPS Partners with Broadway Musical Bandstand on Film Release TAPS Partners with Broadway Musical Bandstand on Film Release TAPS TAPS is proud to join with the Broadway musical Bandstand as it returns to theaters November 15 and 19. The 2017 Tony Award-winning production was selected by FATHOM Events for rerelease in hundreds of theaters across the country. TAPS will appear in the pre- and post-show footage of every screening. Bandstand has been an ongoing partner for TAPS and supported TAP
Normal Isn’t Normal Anymore Normal Isn’t Normal Anymore Normal Isn’t Normal Anymore Betsy Beard I used to believe, along with author Patsy Clairmont who wrote a humorous book of the same title, that Normal Is Just a Setting on Your Dryer. But it seems like so much more to me, now. When our son died, "normal" flew out the window and hasn't returned. And because of its departure, leaving confusion, chaos, and disarray in its wake, the concept of normal seems far more important now than just a setting on the dryer. And not
Leaving the Grief Box Open Leaving the Grief Box Open Leaving the Grief Box Open \| TAPS Chris Beck Over the past 18 months, I have struggled to get to my feet and find the path forward in my life since the loss of my son, Jarrod. I know I am on a healing path, but the steps have been small and the growth slow, but steady. Men by nature, and to some extent by nurture, hide emotions and push them down — many of us were taught that emotions are a sign of weakness. When given the opportunity to attend a TAPS Men’s Retrea
More Than a Game More Than a Game More Than a Game \| TAPS Nicole Murray A TAPS surviving child and her TAPS Military Mentor with their take their position at the start of the Washington Nationals Game, TAPS survivors and their Fallen Heroes were honored on field as part of the Nationals Memorial Day Remembrances. (Nationals Staff Photographer) I have never been to a baseball game without thinking of my late grandfather, who raised me after I lost my father at a young age. I like to think he’s watching
Saturday Morning Message: Small Treasures Part 2 Saturday Morning Message: Small Treasures Part 2 Saturday Morning Message: Small Treasures Part 2 \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, The archives of the Saturday Morning Message are very interesting. In response to the question about sharing special items, Kelsey, mother of Michael sent a picture of this alligator. You will read below how this item comforts her. I want to thank those who make this message special throughout the year by reading and sometimes replying to the question of the week.
The Dance The Dance The Dance \| TAPS Amy Dozier Months ago, my mom signed my daughter up for cotillion. This would serve two purposes: teaching her social graces and allowing her to bond over tea parties with other kids her age (well, three purposes if you count the alone time I was afforded on these random Sunday afternoons to grocery shop or go for a run). After each class, our three-generation trio would talk about what was learned and how it would be applied in the years to come. Some days we talke
Saturday Morning Message: The Difference TAPS Has Made Saturday Morning Message: The Difference TAPS Has Made Saturday Morning Message: The Difference TAPS Has Made \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, The opening picture this week is of some of the participants in the Marine Corps Marathon. I am using it since my daughter ran/walked for TAPS on Oct. 22, and I went to support her. I am so proud of those who took part and also those of us who stayed on the sidelines encouraging them. Staying in the hotel where most of the TAPS participants stayed was
A Godwink in Denver A Godwink in Denver A Godwink in Denver \| TAPS Robert Bisterfeldt On April 1, 2023, my son, Joseph, had a brain biopsy surgery for his brain tumor, at UCHealth University of Colorado Hospital in Aurora, Colorado. It was a stressful time for my family. Joseph’s last brain biopsy surgery — back in 2013 — came with many post-surgery complications, and we hoped for a better experience this time. My wife, Amy, had just arrived back at the hospital to switch out with me — there was only one perso
Spotlight on Service: Katherine Castelo Spotlight on Service: Katherine Castelo Spotlight on Service: Katherine Castelo TAPS “If someone is on the phone with me and needs me for three hours, I will make myself available for three hours.” Photo Courtesy of Katherine Castelo That's the approach Katherine Castelo, Licensed Clinical Social Worker, takes when serving TAPS families in her practice. Katherine's dedication is congruent with the level of care TAPS provides to all those seeking assistance. Katherine never puts a ti
Hope in the Heavens Hope in the Heavens Hope in the Heavens Doug Windley It has been said that people are equals at birth and death. Birth is typically celebrated as a joyous occasion, while death is a topic some cultures avoid due to the reality of its accompanying grief. Social convention and our own sense of duty can draw our focus toward tending to the deceased, and away from giving attention our own grief and healing. Death, like birth, is completely out of our control, and yet we wish we could script our
What My Grief Has Taught Me About Life and COVID-19 What My Grief Has Taught Me About Life and COVID-19 What My Grief Has Taught Me About Life and COVID-19 \| TAPS Denise Brownlee The entire world has downshifted. COVID-19 and sheltering in place drastically changed how we live our lives. This has been a challenging time for many. It is important to acknowledge that each of our paths is unique. There has been a focus on people grieving the loss of their pre COVID-19 lives, but that doesn’t resonate with me. Instead, I began to realize that my g
My Dad Died, Too My Dad Died, Too My Dad Died, Too Nathaniel Lee In 1996, my father Capt. Donald Lee was the Army’s Outstanding Aviator. A year later, he and his co-pilot were killed in a training accident when their helicopter crashed. My mother Theresa, my then 5-year-old brother Sam and I, age 7, had our lives thrown into turmoil as our family and the Fort Hood community dealt with this loss. By the end of that school year, we were moving to Northern California where my mother’s family lived, saying goodby
What to Expect at a Seminar What to Expect at a Seminar What to Expect at a Seminar Carla Stumpf Patton In our grief, it can be difficult to imagine traveling to an event along with other bereaved survivors, many of whom are strangers, where the focus is on addressing our innermost pain in hopes of healing. And, yet, that is what happens when attending a TAPS Survivor Seminar. An understanding about what to expect in advance of attending can often ease emotions for first-time participants and your TAPS family wants y
He Lives He Lives He Lives Shanette Booker Dre died almost four years ago, and yet he still continues to live his life. I have always pondered and questioned the whole "life after death" theory, and after losing the love of my life to death, I couldn't help but to imagine how life after death was possible for Dre. I was on my way to meet with a friend who had stopped by to visit with Dre after attending a funeral in the same cemetery where he's buried. My friend had never met Dre, and didn't know a
More Than Trains: A Surviving Sibling’s Story More Than Trains: A Surviving Sibling’s Story More Than Trains: A Surviving Sibling’s Story \| TAPS Kat Stanley I first came to TAPS as a surviving sibling in 2010 after my brother and best friend, Cpl Richard Allgower, USMC, passed away after a fearless battle with brain cancer. I remembered anxiously awaiting the TAPS Magazine for articles from siblings. They seemed to put words to the feelings and thoughts swirling around that I couldn’t quite express. I read plenty of articles that shared
On Memorial Day, We Honor Them On Memorial Day, We Honor Them On Memorial Day, We Honor Them \| TAPS Coleen Bowman Editor's Note: As we move into the month of May, we will be sharing a series of stories from survivors. To begin the month, surviving spouse Coleen Bowman shares her memories and thoughts on this sacred time, memories of the past, reflection on the present, and new traditions for the future. We invite you to share your Memorial Day thoughts or memories by sending your stories to editor@taps.org and also share o
Gratitude, Hope and Godwinks See a Family Through Gratitude, Hope and Godwinks See a Family Through Gratitude, Hope and Godwinks See a Family Through \| TAPS Kathy Bold A grateful and hopeful spirit has helped Maggie Bainbridge through the darkest times, including the six years her husband, Bill, was battling cancer and the four years since he let go of the pain and died in her arms. She is grateful for the time she had with him. “We were so happy,” she says. “I would rather have 18 years with him than none.” She is grateful that retired Ar
Supporting Your Children During Uncertain Times Supporting Your Children During Uncertain Times Supporting Your Children During Uncertain Times \| TAPS Sara Firestone Note: This article is republished with permission from the author. It originally appeared on PsychAlive.com. With more schools and offices closing each day due to the COVID-19 pandemic, most parents are finding themselves at home with their kids around the clock. And while it is necessary for our physical health to practice social distancing or sheltering in place during th
Voices of the Love Lives On Act of 2023 Voices of the Love Lives On Act of 2023 Voices of the Love Lives On Act of 2023 \| TAPS TAPS Why We Advocate TAPS is dedicated to supporting all military and veteran survivors, and part of this commitment is advocating for program and service improvements that can directly impact life after loss. We work closely with elected officials; the Departments of Defense, Veterans Affairs, Education, Labor, and Health and Human Services; and state and local governments to make sure survivor concerns
Children’s Books for the Summer Children’s Books for the Summer Children’s Books for the Summer Cheryl Kreutter By and large, the books reviewed here describe how empathy (an emotion) prompts compassion (an action). Each will appeal in different ways to different readers at different times. Characters are identifiable and real, and illustrations appropriately support the story, theme or concept. Most importantly, these are books that invite readers to discuss their own thoughts and feelings about loss as well as consider wa
Letters from TAPS: Find Healing This Spring Letters from TAPS: Find Healing This Spring Letters from TAPS: Find Healing This Spring Ellen Andrews Dear TAPS Family, Traditionally the New Year brings thoughts of renewal. A time to look forward with renewed energy, goals, and hopes. We reflect on the things and people that impacted our lives. We move through the change of seasons, coming out of the winter and into the blossom of spring. The changing seasons can also be reflective of the grief journey and the fellow survivors we find t
The Outhouse at Minus 23 Degrees Fahrenheit The Outhouse at Minus 23 Degrees Fahrenheit The Outhouse at Minus 23 Degrees Fahrenheit \| TAPS Benjamin Wolfe Editor's Note: As the mercury rises and signs of rebirth and regrowth sprout up from the same ground that was cold and dormant just days ago, we turn our faces toward the sunshine and prepare for the warmth ahead of us. TAPS Advisory Board Member Benjamin Wolfe reminds us in the words that follow that there is no wrong time or place to reflect on our past experiences and prepare our h
Saturday Morning Message: Feeling close to our loved ones across time and space Saturday Morning Message: Feeling close to our loved ones across time and space Saturday Morning Message: Feeling close to our loved ones across time and space \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, Since this week two responders wrote about feeling close to their loved one through music, I thought opening with a picture showing musical notes with hearts might be a good way to connect and remind us of how music speaks to the love we feel for our loved ones. In addition to those who responded, I
Bereaved Military Families Come Together in New Jersey Bereaved Military Families Come Together in New Jersey Bereaved Military Families Come Together in New Jersey \| TAPS Victoria Leoni Maxine Gilson of Atlantic Highlands traveled to New Brunswick this weekend for a very special family reunion. Just 30 miles from where she and her husband, Paul, live in her home state of New Jersey, she reunited with a family that has supported her ever since the death of her Navy son more than nine years ago. That family is TAPS, the Tragedy Assistance Program
Army Strong: One family’s proud tradition of service since the Civil War Army Strong — One family’s proud tradition of service since the Civil War Army Strong — One family’s proud tradition of service since the Civil War \| TAPS Sue Sawyer Note: As the U.S. Army celebrates its 245th birthday on June 14, soldiers and Army families reflect on the rich legacy of the first established service branch. Our family rarely talked about military service when I was growing up. It was only after my son joined the Army that I learned it’s been in our DNA since the 19th cent
TAPS Survivor Newsletter July 2022 TAPS Survivor Newsletter July 2022 TAPS Survivor Newsletter July 2022 TAPS Media You are part of a network we call the TAPS family, and it's more than a label. At TAPS events, there are opportunities to be truly who you are, without masking the struggle. When we have the courage to engage with others in the TAPS family, we leave with a beautiful gift of connection that is difficult to anticipate before you experience it firsthand. We encourage you to find a place to take that chance - a sem
Learning to Live Again Learning to Live Again Learning to Live Again Linda Ambard I am at a Tragedy Assistance Program (TAPS) retreat this weekend. A woman said something to me that hit really close to home. She is a year and a half out from her husband’s death. She told me she feels like she is going through the motions and keeps wondering if she will feel happiness in her life again. She pondered enjoying life and looking forward to the next events unfolding. Four and a half years later, I wonder the same th
Prepare Yourself for the Holidays Prepare Yourself for the Holidays Prepare Yourself for the Holidays Bonnie Carroll Alan Wolfelt Because the person who died is no longer there to share the holidays with you, you may feel particularly sad and vulnerable during Christmas, Hanukkah and other holidays that are special to your family. Don't overextend yourself during the holidays. Don't feel you have to shop, bake, entertain, send cards, etc. if you're not up for it. Sometimes old holiday rituals are comforting after a death a
Saturday Morning Message: Favorite Quotes or Phrases Saturday Morning Message: Favorite Quotes or Phrases Favorite Quotes or Phrases \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, A good friend of mine from TAPS, Darcie Sims, used this phrase in an article she wrote called, “Star Light, Star Bright”. The article talks about how we stop looking for the stars when our loved ones pass. Then, through the help of friends, we come to a place where we can search for those stars again. Her closing words talk about how we can heal: “Look
Stronger Together Stronger Together Stronger Together \| TAPS Lalaine Estella Peer Mentor Karen Hilliard, surviving spouse of Lt. Cmdr. Jeffrey A. Hilliard, and Sherry Jennings-Kevianne, surviving spouse of Sgt. Julian Kevianne, are decidedly two very different women. Karen, pictured on the left, describes Sherry as artistic and creative, while Sherry, on the right, says Karen is logical and business-like. But their differences matter little when they lean on each other’s strengths for ongoing support
TAPS Care Groups: Finding Safety in Numbers TAPS Care Groups: Finding Safety in Numbers TAPS Care Groups: Finding Safety in Numbers Zaneta Gileno Sadness and grief are normal responses to loss. For many, especially those who suffer the unexpected or traumatic loss of a loved one, post traumatic stress compounds the grief response, making it even more difficult for surviving loved ones to integrate the loss into their lives. The need to be understood and to connect with others who understand is a key to finding hope and healing. TAPS
Saturday Morning Message: Memorable Comments Saturday Morning Message: Memorable Comments Saturday Morning Message: Memorable Comments \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, For many of us, the comments people say or the behavior of those who know that we have suffered the death of a loved one are memorable. I know before this event in my life, I had no idea the things people would say or do. The one that fascinates me to this day is when I talk about my son, Bryon, and someone will look or walk away. It is as if by not talking about it, some
Recognizing and Grieving Secondary Losses Recognizing and Grieving Secondary Losses Recognizing and Grieving Secondary Losses Jill Harrington-LaMorie Have you ever thrown a pebble in a still pond and watched its impact? As it settles to the bottom, waves expand outward from the point of entry, disturbing the water in ever growing rings of motion. The one single event of a pebble falling in the water affects all that is around it with multiple, vast, extending ripples. Death has that ripple effect as well, setting off a disturbance th
Angry with God Angry with God Angry with God Rachael Hill It is no surprise to say that there a gamut of emotions that go along with grief. Sadness, anger, longing, hurt, loneliness, and the list goes on and on. I have felt the entire rainbow of feelings, and I am not afraid to admit it. I have had my times of depression, longing for the life I used to live, spent many nights wishing for the company of my husband, and of course, I have been angry. In fact, many days I am still angry… I am angry tha
Gifts of Grief: Tools to Help You Through Gifts of Grief: Tools to Help You Through Gifts of Grief: Tools to Help You Through \| TAPS James Gordon Grief is part of being human. Sooner or later, it makes its appearance in our lives, no matter how unwanted it is. Attending the National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar, I was struck even more by how important it is for us to honor the process of grief. We have to see it as a part of life and let it take its course. There are no shortcuts; there’s no getting around it. But, there are gi
The Empty Chair The Empty Chair The Empty Chair \| TAPS Darcie Sims There’s an empty chair in our house and I am not sure what to do with it. It’s been empty a long time and although we’ve moved more than a few times since it became empty, we still haul it around with us. It’s not a particularly classic chair or even a very pretty one, and it is empty…all the time. No one moves it; no one suggests putting it away. No one sits in it. It’s just an empty chair. As a military family, we are used to having mem
Remembering J.R. Davis Remembering J.R. Davis Remembering J.R. Davis \| TAPS Theresa Davis Barry Lee Davis, Jr., or J.R. as he was affectionately known to his family and friends, was just 18 years old when he chose to join the Army and serve his country. His service took him to far-off places, like the Persian Gulf and Karlsruhe, Germany, before eventually settling near Fort Stewart, Georgia. J.R. was a hardworking, dedicated, and kind man — traits that earned him Bronze Stars, medals of achiev
Let the Volunteer Journey Begin Let the Volunteer Journey Begin Let the Volunteer Journey Begin \| TAPS Clynton Trewyn Editor’s note: Clynton Trewyn, who has served as a TAPS military mentor, recently started a blog. He decided to make his first post about something close to his heart. This blog entry, which first appeared on his site, Volunteer Ripple, has been adapted for use on the TAPS website. I’ve been blessed enough to travel the country volunteering with TAPS over the last four years. By caring for survivors griev
Saturday Morning Message: Upcoming Holiday Ideas Saturday Morning Message: Upcoming Holiday Ideas Saturday Morning Message: Upcoming Holiday Ideas \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, One of the most powerful things that TAPS does is provide an avenue where survivors can connect and talk about their grief. The opening picture today shows two people chatting at a TAPS seminar. At the end of the Saturday Morning Message is a list of video and text chats that offer yet another way of connecting survivors. When you join a chat, you can communicate
4 Goals I Made After Losing My Loved One 4 Goals I Made After Losing My Loved One 4 Goals I Made After Losing My Loved One \| TAPS Hannah Grace Just a few days after the funeral for my boyfriend, Staff Sgt. Forrest B. Sibley, I visited his grave. I rolled out my American flag towel on the freshly laid grass, and sat there for about two hours, talking to him while enjoying the beautiful sunny Florida weather. I talked about how I was feeling — cried, laughed, shared memories — and it all led to making him four promises, which turned
Finding Hope After Suicide Loss Finding Hope After Suicide Loss Finding Hope After Suicide Loss \| TAPS Mike Aldapa Celebrating the Life and Service of our Loved Ones A petty officer in the Coast Guard, my 22-year-old son Paul died by suicide when he took his own life on July 18, 2012, in what was determined to be a homicide-suicide. He was just months away from completing his enlistment in the Coast Guard with hopes of pursuing a career in law enforcement. Prior to his death, Paul and our family embraced his time in the
Saturday Morning Message: Benefits of TAPS Seminars Saturday Morning Message: Benefits of TAPS Seminars Saturday Morning Message: Benefits of TAPS Seminars Carol Lane Good Morning, In this picture, you can see the smiles on these survivors' faces as they hug each other. For me, that is the best part of attending a TAPS Seminar. I spend a lot of time on the computer, but when I go to a TAPS Seminar, I get to meet other survivors in person. We can go to the workshops and events that are planned or just sit, have a cup of coffee and talk for as
Saturday Morning Message: Eating While Grieving Saturday Morning Message: Eating While Grieving Saturday Morning Message: Eating While Grieving Carol Lane Food is something needed for the body, but the desire for food often changes when people are grieving. Some find that nothing tastes good, and others eat foods that are not good for them. There are two articles from the TAPS Magazine archives that give some good advice on how to give your body needed nutrients when you're experiencing the emotions of grief. Good Morning, In "To Your
Saturday Morning Message: Helpful Collections Saturday Morning Message: Helpful Collections Saturday Morning Message: Helpful Collections Carol Lane Good morning, One day at the cemetery, a butterfly landed on my side. That had never happened before, and I took it as a sign from my son, Bryon. After that, I began buying artificial butterflies to put in my house plants and other places around the house. This is a picture of one of them that I would like to share with all of you today. Even though I don’t buy them as much anymore, the joy
The Changing of Linda The Changing of Linda The Changing of Linda Linda Ambard Everybody hurts sometimes. I still do. As I stare down the quickly approaching three year milestone, I am feeling alone and slightly adrift. It started this week with a holiday I don't even like all that much. Valentine's Day was never that big of a deal when Phil was alive. Sure we exchanged cards and went out for dinner at some point, but it wasn't something either of us put a lot of effort into. For some reason this year, Val
The Dream, Revised The Dream, Revised The Dream, Revised Tabitha Bonilla A glimpse into my thoughts this past September 11th anniversary… I feel like sometimes the outside world looks at me differently. I feel the pressure of others that I should "move on" since my losses occurred ten years ago. It is different on September 11th though. On that day, people pause in their everyday life, even if it is just for a moment. They remember. On this day, I feel like the world gets it, if only just for a day. I ca
Grief Is. Grief Is. Grief Is. \| TAPS Augusto Cespedes Grief is a memory— a deep thought you once tucked away and wished a hundred, million times was a fleeting moment. Valentine’s Day, 2007, early evening, Haqlaniyah, Iraq — Danny Morris was the last one of my three best friends I had to say goodbye to. Grief is a nightmare — vivid, living, beating, haunting, but part of you doesn’t want to wake up. Confused and broken, I replayed his death over and over in my head, exhaustingly dissect
Living to Honor the Dead Living to Honor the Dead Living to Honor the Dead Carol Lane For many of us it is hard to open our hearts when our loved one has given the ultimate sacrifice to our nation and we remain behind. Yet we still have all the love to give that we have shared through the years and it doesn’t stop with death. In the beginning, many of us can only try to get through each day and survive with the pain in our hearts that comes from such a great loss. Our hearts, out of necessity, close up as we try to
Giving Back and Paying it Forward Giving Back and Paying it Forward Giving Back and Paying it Forward \| TAPS TAPS TAPS relies on the generosity of its supporters to fund the critical resources, programs, and services vital to the healing of those who have lost a military loved one. The TAPS mission is a 24/7 effort, and the TAPS Development Team strives to accomplish two goals: (1) share the TAPS mission of hope and healing, and (2) raise funds necessary to support our military survivors. The COVID-19 pandemic struck in 202
Flashback Fridays: TAPS Magazine TAPS Magazine: A source of inspiration, comfort, support and resources TAPS Magazine: A source of inspiration, comfort, support and resources \| TAPS TAPS Each Friday, please visit our blog and join us as we take a look back at stories, people and events that have shaped who we are today. We are a family of survivors honoring our selfless heroes who paid the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom. We are grieving parents, spouses, children, siblings, grandparents, fiancées, battle buddies and l
International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day \| TAPS Carla Stumpf Patton Saturday, November 23, 2024, is International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day (also referred to as ISOSLD or Survivor Day). As a national nonprofit founded in 1994, the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS), is a peer-based grief support organization serving all who are grieving the death of a service member or veteran. In 2008, the TAPS Suicide Prevention and Postventio
The Valley of the Shadow The Valley of the Shadow…Where Every Day Is Memorial Day The Valley of the Shadow…Where Every Day Is Memorial Day \| TAPS Heather Gray Blalock Those of us who have lost a loved one often feel as if we reside in the valley of the shadow of death. Every day is Memorial Day because not a day goes by when we aren’t remembering the one we lost. For me, the official Memorial Day felt different this year. In past years, I climbed Pikes Peak with my late husband’s unit, I founded a nonprofit that host
PGA Tour Superstore Brings TAPS Families Together PGA Tour Superstore Brings TAPS Families Together PGA Tour Superstore Brings TAPS Families Together \| TAPS TAPS Survivors Share Past and Present Memories at Special Golf Experiences In honor of Military Appreciation Month, teams4taps and the PGA TOUR Superstore joined forces to create events for survivors to honor their military loved ones through their favorite sport— golf! Survivors attended a wide range of events all across the country, where they attended PGA tournaments, got fit for new
Donor Spotlight Jason Pak Donor Spotlight: Jason Pak Donor Spotlight Boeing Jason Pak \| TAPS TAPS Capt. Jason Pak, U.S. Army (Ret.) Director, Boeing veterans initiatives, mid-Atlantic region. Capt. Jason Pak, U.S. Army (Ret.), is Boeing's director of veterans initiatives for the mid-Atlantic region. But his military life started as an Army brat who traveled the world with his family. He graduated from the U.S. Military Academy at West Point and deployed to Afghanistan in October 2012. His life was forever cha
TAPS Family Reunion Memorial Day: A Family Reunion Like No Other Memorial Day: A Family Reunion Like No Other \| TAPS Heather Nesle I started at New York Life seven months ago and heard about TAPS on my first day. Since that day, I had been looking forward to attending the National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp in Washington, D.C. The idea of spending Memorial Day weekend assisting military families in some small way was something I was truly looking forward to doing. In addition to being exc
Adjusting to a New Normal Adjusting to a New Normal Adjusting to a New Normal Darcie Sims When Normal Isn't Normal Any More Today I started to take down the tree and put away the holiday decorations. Yes, I know it's March, but after the effort of creating a new holiday routine in my life, it didn't seem right to simply discard it after a few short weeks. After all, creating a new way of looking at the holidays took a great deal of energy. I tried a new decorating scheme this year (we hung all the stockings – whe
A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words Elizabeth Rozier It's been a while since my last post . . . mostly because I have suffered from writer's block. When I had a good topic in mind life got too busy to write. So here I am catching up. I always like to share my story with others and feel sometimes that maybe I am a little too transparent. I decided these past few months that I really don't care if people think I am a broken record as long as one person gets h
Saturday Morning Message: Mother's Day Activities Saturday Morning Message: Mother's Day Activities Saturday Morning Message: Mother's Day Activities \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, Sometimes watching the sun go up or go down can be the most relaxing thing we can do to take care of ourselves. This week several survivors shared what they did on Mother’s Day to honor themselves and those who served as mothers as they grew up. Now we just turn around and it will be Memorial Day very soon. Since this might be a stressful month, I thought I woul
Video: The Helper’s Journey Video: The Helper’s Journey: Empathy, Compassion, and the Challenge of Caring in a Challenging Time Video: The Helper’s Journey: Empathy, Compassion, and the Challenge of Caring in a Challenging Time Webinar \| TAPS Institute Dale Larson Working with people confronting grief, loss, trauma, illness and tragedy in all its forms is an intensely personal endeavor, bringing us into contact with the deepest parts of ourselves, and exposing us to the well-documented risks of burnout, moral distress,
Requesting Your Service Member's Military Records Requesting Your Service Member's Military Records Requesting Your Service Member's Military Records Jen Harlow While military records are used to establish benefits and entitlements, they also tell the story of our heroes' military careers, capturing important events, dates and locations of service. These cherished treasures of our loved ones' service can be comforting in a time when grief has our emotions swirling and we don't feel like there's much we can control. Memories help us feel l
Photos: teams4taps Cavaliers teams4taps Cleveland Cavaliers Hoops for Troops Cleveland Cavaliers Hoops for Troops \| TAPS TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (25 photos) teams4taps, photos, military survivor Flickr Album Event Photos: TAPS Families attended the Cleveland Cavaliers Hoops for Troops in Cleveland, Ohio on November 5, 2019.
Photos: teams4taps Grizzlies teams4taps Memphis Grizzlies Hoops for Troops Memphis Grizzlies Hoops for Troops \| TAPS TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (13 photos) teams4taps, photos, military survivor Flickr Album Event Photos: TAPS Families attended the Memphis Grizzlies Hoops for Troops in Memphis, Tennessee on November 9, 2019.
Photos: teams4taps Nets teams4taps Brooklyn Nets Hoops for Troops Practice Brooklyn Nets Hoops for Troops Practice \| TAPS TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (51 photos) teams4taps, photos, military survivor Flickr Album Event Photos: TAPS Families attended the Brooklyn Nets Hoops for Troops Practice in Brooklyn, New York on November 6, 2019.
Photos: teams4taps Redskins teams4taps Washington Redskins Honors for Way Family Washington Redskins Honors for Jordon Way Family \| TAPS TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (19 photos) teams4taps, photos, military survivor Flickr Album Event Photos: Way family attend the Washington Redskins Honors for Jordon Way on August 29, 2019.
Photos: Dancing for TAPS Dancing for TAPS Dancing for TAPS TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (56 photos) photos, taps supporter, military salute Flickr Album Event Photos: TAPS supporters raise money April 20 at Dancing with Friends Dance Studio in Churchville, Maryland.
Saturday Morning Message: How Has TAPS Helped You? Saturday Morning Message: How Has TAPS Helped You? How Has TAPS Helped You? \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, Since today is Halloween, I thought it would be fun to share a picture from an article written by Marissa Donovan titled "Easy Fall Foods to Keep Your Spirits Up." In the article, there is a recipe for these Jack-O-Lantern stuffed peppers. The picture seemed perfect for today and hopefully put a smile on your face when you opened this week’s Saturday Morning Me
Nature Heals Nature Heals Nature Heals \| TAPS Rachel Hunsell “Love is natural. Grief is natural. Like the natural world around us, they are both wild, unpredictable, uncontrollable, and awe-inspiring things. Mourning, too, is all of these things. It’s also healing. Over time and through ongoing expression, grief befriended and communicated is grief healed.” ~ Dr. Alan Wolfelt Nature Heals is a validation of what I believe and what all of us innately know to be true about life and about gri
Saturday Morning Message: Getting Through Tough Moments Saturday Morning Message: Getting Through Tough Moments Saturday Morning Message: Getting Through Tough Moments \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, Last week’s question asked what others do when a grief wave takes over suddenly. This picture is the necklace I wear every day. Inside the locket is one of Bryon’s boot camp pictures. When I feel that wave coming over me, I gently touch that locket and remind myself to breathe since I tend to hold my breath when I feel that emotion. There were vari
Grade Schoolers and Military Loss Grade Schoolers and Military Loss Grade Schoolers and Military Loss Gloria Horsley Military families know resilience. Moves from base to base and long deployments can weigh on the family unit. But, for grade schoolers, constantly leaving friends and starting new schools where they don’t know anyone is an additional pressure. On top of that, when a family member or loved one is lost in the military, there is an incredible amount of trauma. Maybe your child has to change schools after you’ve
Saturday Morning Message: Special Places Saturday Morning Message: Special Places Saturday Morning Message: Special Places Carol Lane Good Morning, For those of us in the north, snowflakes are a big part of the winter season. When it snows, like it did last weekend, snowflakes change ordinary places with their unusual beauty. The special place I remember is the hill by our house. When my son, Bryon, was young, he loved to sled down the hill with his sister and friends, laughing all the way. It was a joy to see the children playing
The Calendar of Grief The Calendar of Grief The Calendar of Grief Marilyn Collins While cleaning out the top of the closet in the front hall this summer, I saw a box I didn’t recognize way back in the corner. I had just discovered the long lost television remote on top of it. Why would someone put the remote in the hall closet? Now, my memory is not what it once was, but I am pretty sure we never had the TV by the front door. I took down the box and saw that it was addressed to me, but had never been opened. Th
Turning Devastation into Hope Turning Devastation into Hope Turning Devastation into Hope \| TAPS Carolyn Colley My brother, Army Pfc. Stephen E. Colley, was my best friend. He was smart, caring and funny. He had a huge heart – he greeted everyone with a hug and never left a conversation without a smile. I loved and admired him in so many ways. When he returned from a deployment to Iraq, he was different, and while we could tell he was suffering, we did not know just how bad it was or what we needed to do. Ultimately, the
Solitude or Social Support in Grief? Solitude or Social Support in Grief? Why We Need Both Solitude or Social Support in Grief? Why We Need Both \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt In many ways, grief is an experience replete with contradictions. We feel like time stops, yet time goes on. We can’t stop thinking about the death, yet we distract ourselves so we won’t think about it. We’re strong, yet we’re weak. We’re resilient, yet we’re vulnerable. Acknowledging and embracing these necessary contradictions (and others) is part of our work of
Saturday Morning Message: Gifts from the Heart from our Loved Ones Saturday Morning Message: Gifts from the Heart from our Loved Ones Saturday Morning Message: Gifts from the Heart from our Loved Ones \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, This week, survivors were asked to write about the gifts of personality that our loved ones gave us just by being themselves. I hope you enjoy all the responses that came to us. Debra, wife of Thomas sent this picture of her husband, Tom, and told us about his gift. Debra wrote, "One of the most memorable gifts that Tom always
Saturday Morning Message: Comforting Items Saturday Morning Message: Comforting Items Saturday Morning Message: Comforting Items \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, Some of the responses to the question about a comforting item included flag cases and who gave them to the family, so I thought it would be interesting to open this week’s message with the picture of the flag display sent by Winona, wife of Clifford, and the reply sent by Rebecca, mother of Nicholas, which is, “I keep my son's flag on a shelf that I had made for it. It has al
Looking for Hope in all the Right Places Looking for Hope in all the Right Places Looking for Hope in all the Right Places Janet Crane My Journey of Grief I have always thought of myself as a strong person. In reality my strength had never really been tested until I experienced the losses of the last 13 years. I lost my dad in 2000, a half sister in 2004, another half sister in 2008, my mom in 2010, and my son in 2012. I have to say that I had handled all of my losses up to my son's pretty well. I was sad and did my share of crying
Taking Action Taking Action Taking Action Alice Daniel 10:45 p.m. The house is quiet, all are sleeping but me. He’s been dead over 3 years now. Some things are better. I’m cooking again. We’ve recently moved from our family home of 26 years. Don’t believe I could have done it early on, but it seems like a good move now. It was painful to watch the little boys in our subdivision chase snakes and frogs in the “coulee”. My boys used to do that, coming in for snacks with billy goat sweat on their noses
You Don't Know What You Don't Know You Don't Know What You Don't Know You Don't Know What You Don't Know \| TAPS Ryan Weaver Sharing Music, A Message, and Finding an Open Forum to Heal Country music artist and military veteran Ryan Weaver. Have you ever walked in to a room since you’ve lost your loved one and felt that anyone, much less everyone, really grasped how much you’ve been through? How many times have you felt strongly, if not more, for someone else’s loss that you focused on their loss as much as your own, ev
Seasons of Grief Seasons of Grief Seasons of Grief Carla Stumpf Patton Grief can move from one emotion to the next as swiftly as the seasons change; some don't stay nearly long enough, and others seem to last so long we think they'll never change. This is, in some ways, nature's reminder that life inevitably keeps moving forward regardless of our consent, and so often, it leaves us searching for meaning and possibilities how we might adapt and overcome. In every season, there are challenges and hardships,
Surviving the Holidays After Loss Surviving the Holidays After Loss Surviving the Holidays After Loss Linda Ambard The Christmas holidays were always magical to me. I loved the hustle and bustle, the music, the festive home decorations, the planning and the secrets, what it means to me, and I loved the laughter in my chaotic family. We never had a lot, but somehow our tree was the tree that people stood and gaped at. It looked like we had a mountain of gifts piled high under the tree. Having five children will do that. F
What Your Kids Want You to Know What Your Kids Want You to Know Andy McNiel * Senior Advisor, TAPS Youth Programs After a life-altering loss, we — as parents and caregivers — want to know how to support our children, ensuring they grow into successful, happy, and healthy adults despite knowing grief. When they seem OK on the outside, we worry about thoughts and feelings we can’t see. And, even when they are outwardly distressed or their behavior indicates something more is happening, they may not necessarily be communica
Saturday Morning Message: Gotcha! Survivors share the pranks their loved ones pulled off Saturday Morning Message: Gotcha! Survivors share the pranks their loved ones pulled off Gotcha! Survivors share the pranks their loved ones pulled off \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good morning, This picture comes from Sue, mother of Marcus. It shows the glint in her son’s eyes as he surprised the family wearing a Santa hat. This seemed to be the perfect opening for this week’s Saturday Morning Message with the topic of pranks. At this time of uncertainty, I am glad to share me
To Resolution or Not to Resolution: Relaxing into the New Year To Resolution or Not to Resolution: Relaxing into the New Year To Resolution or Not to Resolution: Relaxing into the New Year \| TAPS Audri Beugelsdijk The new year is a time when we contemplate all the previous year has been and all the coming year could be. Perhaps we make resolutions, promising ourselves a change, anticipating growth, and hoping for something new - after all, it is the “new” year - shouldn’t it also be a “new” me? Whether we do this to ourselves, or others put this upon u
Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Mementos Part 2 Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Mementos Part 2 Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Mementos Part 2 \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, I thought I would share my memento picture. This is the heart locket I wear every day. Inside is a picture of my son at boot camp. I am making my comments short since we had responses to two different questions making this week’s message longer than usual. Last week Betty, mother of Michael sent a picture of what looked like a coin and asked i
Artful Grief Artful Grief Artful Grief Sharon Strouse A Journey of Healing When I conduct workshops and stand in front of grieving military families at TAPS seminars, I stand not only as an Art Therapist, but as a mother who has suffered loss. On October 11, 2001, I received a phone call from the New York City Police Department telling me that my seventeen-year-old daughter Kristin had fallen from the roof of her college dormitory. Kristin had succumbed to a mental illness and taken her own life. So be
2021 TAPS Sports & Entertainment Highlight Reel 2021 TAPS Sports & Entertainment Highlight Reel 2021 TAPS Sports & Entertainment Highlight Reel \| TAPS TAPS What a remarkable year for TAPS Sports & Entertainment! In light of challenging times, we are even more thankful for the special in-person and virtual opportunities that our many partners helped provide for our TAPS families. Below is just a fraction of the wonderful events and special moments that took place across the country (and the United Kingdom) to recognize surviving families a
Saturday Morning Message: Angelversary Ideas Saturday Morning Message: Angelversary Ideas Saturday Morning Message: Angelversary Ideas \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, This week, there were so many responses that I made a decision to include some of the longer pieces in the March Writers’ Circle Newsletter, which will go out early next week. If this sounds like something you would like to receive, contact me at online@taps.org and I will include you on the mailing list. Please enjoy all the different replies that came this week. Ques
Saturday Morning Message: Routine or Change Saturday Morning Message: Routine or Change Saturday Morning Message: Routine or Change Carol Lane Good morning, Is it easier to stick to a routine or change the daily tasks you do after the death of a loved one? The picture today is a hydrangea bush that we planted in our garden. Gardening became a time of meditation for me. Somehow when I was working with plants, I felt I was connecting with nature and my son. Although we had a garden before the event that changed our lives, we took more t
The Final Commute The Final Commute The Final Commute Claire Henline Cinco de Mayo sings out to me though each year as the culminating date of the journey on earth with my father. Eleven years ago on the 5th of May, we took him to his final rest at Arlington National Cemetery. Our last commute together. I commuted all my life with my dad. Even now I can describe for you so clear the back of his head . . . because I sat behind it for at least 16 years for miles and miles and miles . . . and miles. A precisi
Semper Fi Moments Semper Fi Moments Semper Fi Moments Bob Bagosy On September 27, 1966, I found myself standing in line with a room full of nude men waiting for an induction physical at 401 North Broad Street, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. After being cleared by a naval doctor, I raised my right hand and repeated the oath of office to defend the constitution of the United States and became a U.S. Marine Corps recruit. The man standing to my left, or should I say boy because we were both 18 years old, was Danny
Just Breathe Just Breathe Just Breathe \| TAPS Lalaine Estella Take a moment to catch your breath. Notice your tummy rise and fall as you breathe naturally. Now take a slow, deep breath in, and pause. Exhale very slowly, taking a few seconds longer than it did to inhale. Repeat several times. Congratulations, you’ve just begun a meditation practice that focuses on breathing. For those not used to meditation, keeping quiet and tuning out everything to focus on breathing can be a bit daunting. Sittin
Meet a Mentor: Dana O'Brien Meet a Mentor: Dana O'Brien Meet a Mentor: Dana O'Brien Jennifer Burns There is a distinct difference between listening and hearing. Hearing is simply processing sounds, but listening is intentional and takes great focus. Listening means feeling the emotions behind each word and interpreting the silence between each sentence. Listening is a skill upon which Dana O’Brien prides himself. Dana, known as OB by many, believes listening is the key to success as a Peer Mentor. “You have to li
It's a Title, Not a Life Sentence It's a Title, Not a Life Sentence It's a Title, Not a Life Sentence Shanette Booker I am a widow. That doesn't mean that I have the plague or I walk around with a scarlet letter "W" on my chest. It simply means that the man I fell in love with and married passed away. Dre was an amazing son and brother, a wonderful husband and father, and a dedicated Marine and Soldier. He put his best into everything he did and was greatly appreciated for it. He left behind a legacy and memories to be ho
Twenty Years of Hope and Healing Twenty Years of Hope and Healing Twenty Years of Hope and Healing TAPS 1994 ~ 2014 “We shared our dreams, cried until we were sick, and laughed hard with each other because we felt safe enough to do so in our own company.” ~ Bonnie Carroll Safe enough to cry, safe enough to laugh, safe enough to share dreams. Twenty years ago, one of those dreams became a reality with the creation of TAPS: Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors. Following a 1992 Army National Guard aviation accident th
Saturday Morning Message: What is Success? Saturday Morning Message: What is Success? Saturday Morning Message: What is Success? Carol Lane Good morning, This week’s question about how has your view of success changed since your loved one passed brought in a lot of thoughtful responses. After reading the reply by Bonnie Jo, mother of Andrew, I asked her to send a picture of something she has created. She sent this picture and I decided that it should be the opening one this week. I split her reply into two sections. The first was ab
To Sleep or Not to Sleep, That is the Problem… To Sleep or Not to Sleep, That is the Problem… To Sleep or Not to Sleep, That is the Problem… TAPS Advice from TAPS Survivors For many of us, sleep patterns are disrupted after the death of a loved one, whether the trouble is lack of sleep or too much sleep. Sometimes we toss and turn, waiting for sleep to overtake us. Other times we waken suddenly in the middle of the night, heart racing and thoughts whirling. And sometimes we just want to pull the covers over our heads and ignore the
Video: TAPS Kids Create Decorations for White House Christmas Trees Video: TAPS Kids Create Decorations for White House Christmas Trees Video: TAPS Kids Create Decorations for White House Christmas Trees \| TAPS TAPS Media TAPS children are proud to honor their fallen military hero for this year's White House Christmas trees. This holiday, TAPS celebrates the lives of those who have served and died. Learn more about TAPS Youth Programs. Select image below to play. military survivor, coping during the holidays TAPS children are proud to honor their fall
Saturday Morning Message: How Do Dreams Help Our Grief Journey? Saturday Morning Message: How Do Dreams Help Our Grief Journey? Saturday Morning Message: How Do Dreams Help Our Grief Journey? \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, Dreams of our loved ones come to some of us and not to others. This is normal. If you have dreams, talking or writing about those dreams can be healing. This week, survivors shared their dreams and how those dreams helped their grieving process. They wrote about their continued understanding of the connection with their loved ones t
Klinger’s Korner: The Strength of the Parent-Child Relationship Klinger’s Korner: The Strength of the Parent-Child Relationship Klinger's Korner: The Strength of the Parent-Child Relationship \| TAPS TAPS “Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of life’s longing for itself. They come through you, but not from you... You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.” ~ Kahlil Gibran, “On Children,” in The Prophet (Knopf, 1923) Through this excerpted quote from his poem, “On Children,” Kahlil
Ready to Mentor – Ready to Heal Ready to Mentor – Ready to Heal Ready to Mentor – Ready to Heal \| TAPS Cella Logan Finding Purpose through Helping Others At a 2019 regional seminar in Jacksonville, Florida, I became a TAPS Peer Mentor. I felt ready to help guide other survivors through their journey of loss, heartbreak, unknowns and the life of widowhood. At that time, I was only 5 months into my new career as a Military Spouse Advocate with the state of Florida. I work with active duty spouses helping them find their purp
Saturday Morning Message: What We Do with Our Loved One's Possessions? Saturday Morning Message: What We Do with Our Loved One's Possessions? Saturday Morning Message: What We Do with Our Loved One's Possessions? \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, The question about what we do with our loved one’s things is one I put in the Saturday Morning Message a few times a year since it frequently is a question asked by new survivors. In addition to the replies submitted by survivors, I’d like to share two articles from a TAPS Magazine that addresses this query. They were bo
Saturday Morning Message: Winter Songs Saturday Morning Message: Winter Songs Saturday Morning Message: Winter Songs Carol Lane Good Morning, This week, survivors sent winter songs that express their connection to their loved ones during this season. It seemed this picture taken at the TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar in May is particularly appropriate since one of the songs sent by a survivor is "Little Drummer Boy." Seeing how the band members interact with a young survivor is touching and is reminiscent of this song.
The Financial Aftermath of Military Loss The Financial Aftermath of Military Loss The Financial Aftermath of Military Loss TAPS Helping Families Build a "New Normal" After Carole Hilton’s Navy husband died suddenly, the widowed mother of three had to make a number of financial decisions immediately, while she was preparing to bury her husband. As she details in a recent podcast, she worried she might make a mistake that would hurt her family’s future and jeopardize their financial security. While the military provided a death gra
Spend Friendsgiving with Your TAPS Family Spend Friendsgiving with Your TAPS Family Spend Friendsgiving with Your TAPS Family \| TAPS Betty Medlock For many of us, celebrating the holidays after the loss of a loved one is the last thing we want to do. Every commercial, Facebook post, and trip to the store reminds us of what we’ve lost — the loss of future celebrations, the loss of future hopes. While the world promotes a Normal Rockwell image of Thanksgiving with a bounty of friends and family gathered around the table, we mourn the e
Holiday Tribute Trees: A Powerful Way to Remember and Honor our Military Loved Ones Holiday Tribute Trees: A Powerful Way to Remember and Honor our Military Loved Ones Holiday Tribute Trees: A Powerful Way to Remember and Honor our Military Loved Ones \| TAPS TAPS When you lose someone you love, the holiday season takes on a whole new meaning. What once was the “most wonderful time of the year” might now feel anything but. Suddenly there is an empty chair at your table and an empty stocking on your mantel. Old traditions might not feel quite right anymore, so what do you do?
Saturday Morning Message: What It's Like to Attend a TAPS Seminar or Retreat Saturday Morning Message: What It's Like to Attend a TAPS Seminar or Retreat Saturday Morning Message: What It's Like to Attend a TAPS Seminar or Retreat Carol Lane Good Morning, Deciding to go to a TAPS event can be difficult for the new survivor. Although they are held in various parts of the country, travel is often involved. The survivor asks, “What will this event be like?” or “How will I be treated?” I posed this week’s question asking survivors to share what a TAPS seminar was like. T
Video: Wellness Techniques for Reducing Stress and Anxiety Video: Wellness Techniques for Reducing Stress and Anxiety Video: Wellness Techniques for Reducing Stress and Anxiety Webinar \| TAPS Institute Neil Goodman In this recording of the webinar, you will be introduced to several powerful wellness tools, such as Mindfulness Meditation, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), and the Heart Coherence procedure from the HeartMath Institute. These are keys to reducing the components of debilitating stress and can led to improved health and wellness during t
National Suicide Prevention Month: TAPS Support and Resources National Suicide Prevention Month: TAPS Support and Resources National Suicide Prevention Month: Support and Resources \| TAPS Carla Stumpf Patton Each September we recognize Suicide Prevention Month, and while every day of the year is an opportunity for awareness, this time of the year specifically we emphasize education and sharing life-saving resources on all issues related to suicide—also referred to as prevention, intervention, and postvention. For those who are suicide loss survivors
Remember the Life, Recognize the Light Remember the Life, Recognize the Light Remember the Life, Recognize the Light Jonathan Kirkendall Erin Hefner This National Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, we remember the lives our loved ones lived. And we recognize the light they brought to our lives and our hearts. Making memorials gives children an opportunity to creatively engage their memories of their loved one. Making luminaries is one of our favorite activities at TAPS Good Grief Camp; it’s a flexible activity that can be creat
New Year's Remembering the Love New Year's Remembering the Love New Year's Remembering the Love \| TAPS Ellen Andrews I can’t say that I remember much about the first new year after David died. Those first months were a blur. I somewhat remember that I felt a bit like the loser in a prize fight after having endured the one-two punch of Thanksgiving and Christmas. Your mind and heart are already carrying the heavy burden of grief only to have salt rubbed into that wound with the onslaught of the festive holiday season. Stra
Understanding Why People Die by Suicide Understanding Why People Die by Suicide Understanding Why People Die by Suicide \| TAPS Carla Stumpf Patton What happened? Why did he do it? The answers to the questions are complex. When someone we love dies by suicide, it can be overwhelming and confusing, and bring with it many emotions and questions. Those affected by suicide often struggle with how, and if, their life will ever fit back together again. More than anybody, it is the suicide loss survivor who is left with endless “whys” and
The Love Lives On Act The Love Lives On Act The Love Lives On Act \| TAPS TAPS Linda Ambard This Valentine’s Day, TAPS honors not just the love we have all lost, but the love many of our surviving spouses have found since their loss. TAPS has been the driving force on the Love Lives On Act, which would allow surviving spouses to remarry at any age and maintain their benefits — because being widowed should not penalize you from the possibility of finding love in the future. The bill will be reintroduced later thi
How Do We Start Again? Small Steps to Reconnect with Ourselves How Do We Start Again? Small Steps to Reconnect with Ourselves How Do We Start Again? Small Steps to Reconnect with Ourselves \| TAPS Erin Jacobson What comes into your mind when you read the words health, body, self-care, fitness? How do these words land emotionally? Notice what comes up for you. Maybe you feel positive emotions, and that is fantastic. But maybe, you have a different experience. Maybe, feelings of exhaustion, shame, or defeat come over you. If this is the case, know that you
You’re Not Alone: Braving the Long Journey of Grief You’re Not Alone: Braving the Long Journey of Grief You’re Not Alone: Braving the Long Journey of Grief \| TAPS Kelly Griffith Crunch. Crunch. Crunch. As the snow compacted beneath the weight of my heavy boots, I began to cry. I was tired — exhausted, really — covered in layer upon layer of brand name cold weather gear and yet still shivering from the amount of sweat rolling down my back. Ice crystals formed on my eyebrows and lashes. It hadn’t stopped snowing since I’d arrived three days
Moving Forward "Moving" Forward Moving Forward Rachael Hill Change is sometimes the only constant we can rely on in our lives. No matter how good or bad a situation is, at some point it will inevitably change. Some changes are big while others are more subtle. My boys and I have recently decided to make a HUGE change in our lives…we have decided it is time to leave Alaska and will be moving to Minnesota this summer. I had been thinking about moving for quite a while but didn't know if I could really
Laughter is the Best Medicine Laughter is the Best Medicine Laughter is the Best Medicine Rachael Hill When I was a kid, every Thanksgiving was spent with our extended family in Wisconsin. It didn't matter where we were living at the time, we would always make the trek for this special time together. My cousins and I always had so much fun together. On Thanksgiving Day, it became tradition to have our uncle videotape us doing impromptu plays, which usually included some variation of The Three Little Pigs and Goldilocks
Happy Birthday to You Happy Birthday to You Happy Birthday to You Elizabeth Rozier This is the toughest week of my year. Yesterday was Jonathan’s birthday and Thursday is the anniversary of his death. I know people have a lot of beliefs about their dead loved ones, where they are, what they are doing and if they can hear them. I have been to Jon’s grave 3 times in the last 8 years. I think maybe this year I will try to go again although going there brings me no comfort because I know he isn’t there. His body i
Discover a New Sense of Meaning and Purpose by Becoming a TAPS Peer Mentor Discover a New Sense of Meaning and Purpose by Becoming a TAPS Peer Mentor Discover a New Sense of Meaning and Purpose by Becoming a TAPS Peer Mentor \| TAPS Michelle Knuppe Peer Mentors are the foundation of the TAPS mission to provide compassionate care to all those grieving the death of a military loved one. Mentors offer support in ways that only someone who has walked the unique path of military loss can provide. Survivors often express gratitude for the support they received from a me
Strength Through Communication Strength Through Communication Strength Through Communication TAPS Keeping in Touch Members of a family don’t always live near each other. Miles may physically separate us, yet we carry the comforting knowledge that our loved ones are always close at heart. The same can be said of the TAPS family. Our homes are spread across the nation, and even across the globe. But when our grief weighs heavy, we know our TAPS family is there to provide an encouraging word, a lift of the spirit, and hope f
Team TAPS Participates in Windy25 Memorial 5K Team TAPS Participates in Windy25 Memorial 5K Team TAPS Participates in Windy25 Memorial 5K TAPS Our TAPS family extends our sincere condolences to the families whose loved ones died or were injured in the tragic shooting at Fort Hood, Texas. TAPS is actively helping the families of the victims. Our assistance and support will be unwavering. The TAPS Run and Remember Team participated in the 4th Annual Windy25 Memorial 5K on Saturday in Las Vegas, Nevada. The Windy25 Memorial 5K is ded
Happy Birthday Dear Brother, Happy Bir... Happy Birthday Dear Brother, Happy Bir... Happy Birthday Dear Brother, Happy Bir... Michele Hiester Marcum Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday, dear brother! Happy Bir… Oh wait. Am I supposed to be celebrating your birthday? Do the angels throw parties in heaven like we do on Earth? Is anyone up there worrying whether the cake is white or chocolate? Or if the frosting is buttercream or whipped? Hmmm… the multitude of questions one ponders when there are no
First TAPS Military Mentor of the Year Continues to Volunteer First TAPS Military Mentor of the Year Continues to Volunteer First TAPS Military Mentor of the Year Continues to Volunteer \| TAPS TAPS Each Friday, please visit our blog and join us as we take a look back at stories, people and events that have shaped who we are today. We are a family of survivors honoring our selfless heroes who paid the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom. We are grieving parents, spouses, children, siblings, grandparents, fiancées, battle buddies and loved ones. We are ho
Volunteer Peer Mentors Give Their Hearts to TAPS Mission Volunteer Peer Mentors Give Their Hearts to TAPS Mission Volunteer Peer Mentors Give Their Hearts to TAPS Mission \| TAPS TAPS More than 1,100 strong, our compassionate Peer Mentors continue to give their hearts and volunteer their time to TAPS, recognizing how much their own Peer Mentors supported them during their early days of grief — and paying it forward. As one survivor shared, her relationship with her Peer Mentor has been invaluable during her grief journey: “I was matched with m
Spring Transformation Spring Transformation Spring Transformation \| TAPS Jason Stout “No matter how long the winter, spring is sure to follow.” - Proverb I love Spring. It’s the season of new beginnings and transformation. New buds bloom and the air turns sweet, leaving behind the shorter days and longer nights of winter. Gradually, the silent winter mornings fill with the sound of birds chirping. I can’t help but follow suit. My winter habit of a sluggish morning exit from bed turns into a race to get out and a
Choosing Hope: Honoring the Legacies of Our Fallen Heroes Choosing Hope: Honoring the Legacies of Our Fallen Heroes Choosing Hope: Honoring the Legacies of Our Fallen Heroes \| TAPS Kelly McHugh-Stewart My father was killed in Kabul, Afghanistan on May 18, 2010. Watching the Taliban walk the streets that he died on 11 years ago has been gut-wrenching. As a Gold Star Family member, news following the announcement of the full United States withdrawal from Afghanistan has been overwhelming. With images of violence and devastation in Kabul flooding t
Family Project: Mom Teaches Kids to File Taxes Family Project: Mom Teaches Kids to File Taxes Family Project: Mom Teaches Kids to File Taxes \| TAPS Rachael Hill Filing taxes can be a daunting task and is one that I dread every year. I not only have to file my own taxes, but also for my two boys since my husband’s annuity comes in their names, making it a triple task. In the past, there hasn’t been anything extraordinary with their taxes and they are generally easy returns to compile. However, recent tax reforms have made significant chang
Good Grief Camp Military and Legacy Mentors Good Grief Camp Military and Legacy Mentors Good Grief Camp Military and Legacy Mentors \| TAPS Lalaine Estella There are a variety of ways to volunteer or give to TAPS. Some open their wallets and give generously. Others share their talents and skills, or provide products and services that help surviving families. And then there are Military and Legacy Mentors who open their hearts and give of themselves to our youngest survivors. The heart of TAPS is our peer support network which provides
Someone to Lean On TAPS Peer Mentor: Someone to Lean On Someone to Lean On \| TAPS Lalaine Estella Peer Mentor Sara Wilson (left), surviving spouse of retired Navy Captain David Wilson, and her mentee, Kellye Bone (right), surviving spouse of retired Air Force Technical Sergeant Thomas Bone, have similar stories—their husbands had long military careers in similar jobs, they died of similar causes, and they both have daughters around the same ages (11 and 7 for Sara; 21, 13, and 9 for Kellye). They met for the
The Family Plot Arlington National Cemetery: The Family Plot Arlington National Cemetery: The Family Plot \| TAPS Claire Henline Whispering across the ageless stones, some of our modern-day Spartans lie in Arlington National Cemetery. The cemetery itself has long held a singular reputation of honor, duty, and sacrifice, but it is really one of many distinguished cemeteries for our nation's veterans across the country. Still, Arlington captures the patriot's heart and evokes the spirit of sacrifice like few ot
This Journey We Share This Journey We Share This Journey We Share Amy Dozier Dear You, We have had quite the journey together, haven't we? Thank you for being there for me in my darkest hours and in my brightest accomplishments. We have grown so much and come so far! The world has seemed like a sad a scary place recently and I have been reminded, yet again, how important it is to find my balance amid the storms that pass. I used to think grief was a step-by-step process; that once I was "all done", I would be "
What Do You Say, Dear? What Do You Say, Dear? What Do You Say, Dear? TAPS Handling Holiday Invitations If you would like to receive the TAPS Saturday Morning Message each week, please ask to be added to our list by writing to online@taps.org. The winter holiday season arrives each year just when we may feel like pulling the covers over our heads and ignoring it altogether. Invitations to parties and festive events arrive like clockwork. We are torn because we are not sure if we are ready to celebrate,
Resilient Like Fireweed Resilient Like Fireweed Jennifer Ching * Surviving Spouse of Air Force MSgt Temujin Ching In Alaska, fireweed is a familiar sight in summertime. With highways and roads lined with a never-ending green of vegetation, its bursts of beautiful hues of pink, magenta, purple, and the occasional rare white blossoms are a welcome contrast. It’s often used as a measurement of time in Alaska. The flowers bloom from bottom to top, and when the blossoms at the top are starting to seed, it signals summ
The Year of Firsts The Year of "Firsts" The Year of Firsts \| TAPS Stephanie Frogge Managing the Holiday Season For the recently bereaved, the year of “firsts” is an immediate challenge. Each holiday, significant event, personal milestone and family tradition can throw a spotlight on the unremitting ache of our beloved’s absence. We may be in the midst of emotional overload and depleted energy, but the calendar tells us that we’re expected to have some response to holidays and occasions. Mid-November through
Healing Your Holiday Grief Healing Your Holiday Grief Healing Your Holiday Grief \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt This article was first published in the TAPS Magazine Winter 2018, Issue 24, Volume 4, and is republished here with an additional list of ideas for healing your holiday grief. If you could go back in time and relive a special holiday, which one would you choose? Close your eyes for a moment and think about this holiday. Now, slowly, walk through this memory in your mind. What made it so special? What were the sur
Attending Funerals After Loss Attending Funerals After Loss Attending Funerals After Loss Bevin Landrum When our hearts are newly broken and the magnitude of our losses seems insurmountable, it is hard to think beyond the surreal moments of your own hero's memorial service, wake or funeral. Whether your loved one is laid to rest in Arlington National Cemetery or under a tall oak in the family cemetery plot, that location and experience is consuming. You feel as if you will never attend another funeral again. How could you
Reaching New Heights with TAPS Reaching New Heights with TAPS Reaching New Heights with TAPS Christina Wilson TAPS College Experience Prepares Surviving Children for the Next Chapter Being a surviving TAPS child doesn’t just mean losing a parent; it means losing someone who was supposed to help guide you through life. When my father died when I was 6 years old, I thought I would miss him the most during big events, like graduation and birthdays. Instead, I’ve found that I notice my dad’s absence most in the smaller
Celebrating Survivor Kim Ruocco A Career and Legacy of Dedicated Service: Celebrating Survivor Kim Ruocco Celebrating Survivor Kim Ruocco \| TAPS TAPS Kim Ruocco has brought energy, care, and creativity to her work with TAPS, communities, agencies, and organizations nationwide. Kim has beautifully become the living legacy of her loved one, and we hope her accomplishments and their impacts inspire you! Throughout more than a decade of dedicated service, survivor Kim Ruocco has inspirationally reduced the silence and stigma s
Found My NICHe Found My NICHe Found My NICHe \| TAPS Emily Dieruf Chambers Running with Team TAPS at the Marine Corps Marathon Thousands of widows share a common bond because of Operation Iraqi Freedom, each of us mourning and coping in a myriad of ways. Though it took me several years after the death of my husband, CPL Nicholas Dieruf, USMC to discover an outlet. Running quickly became a way to escape the days’ stressors, connect with a newfound community of friends, and get any day started on a positive n
Small World, Big TAPS Family Small World, Big TAPS Family Small World, Big TAPS Family \| TAPS Jessica Kavanagh It’s funny how life happens. One minute you’re getting a phone call that your husband “didn’t make it,” and eight years later, you’re a widow wife to one of the most amazing humans. The world most certainly crashed down upon me that dreadful day — I’ll never forget it, or the moments that followed, or the spouse that once was (I know my TAPS Family can relate). I felt so lost for what felt like such a long time
Choosing Joy Choosing Joy Choosing Joy Carlene Cross This article was published in the Fall 2017 Issue of the TAPS Magazine. “I regret to inform you…” the chaplain began. In an instant, my life fell apart on July 13, 2008. I was sucked into blackness. Panic engulfed me in waves, blinding me and destroying all logical thinking. I ran to a picture of Jason holding an Afghan child and hugged it to my chest. A world without my son could never be real. It was unimaginable. For months, my face was blood
Saturday Morning Message: How we spend our time at home Saturday Morning Message: How we spend our time at home How we spend our time at home \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good morning, The opening picture is a rose in my garden. I have been getting the gardens around my house ready, so I may enjoy the flowers this year. Survivors share what they are doing now that they have to spend time at home. Each response is a bit different and unique. Sometimes we find hidden talents or take the ones we have and give them a new twist. Other ti
Saturday Morning Message: Continuing Our Loved Ones' Habits Saturday Morning Message: Continuing Our Loved Ones' Habits Continuing Our Loved Ones' Habits \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, In my area of the country, fall is coming. This week’s question, combined with the leaves beginning to change color, made me think of a habit I still do that started with my son, Bryon, playing football in high school. Although I didn’t know much about the sport before he decided to play, I learned the names of many plays and what each player
TAPS at the NFL Pro Bowl TAPS at the NFL Pro Bowl TAPS at the NFL Pro Bowl Christina Romero At this year’s NFL Pro Bowl, twenty families, including my children and myself were treated by teams4taps to a once in a lifetime experience. Initially, I was excited yet anxious. My children (Liam and Gracie) and I had only attended one other TAPS event. The seminar and Good Grief Camp had been so positive for us and I hoped this event would be as well. From the moment we landed in Orlando, TAPS military mentors and staff e
Saturday Morning Message: Helping Extended Family Saturday Morning Message: Helping Extended Family Saturday Morning Message: Helping Extended Family Carol Lane Good Morning, This week's question about noticing or helping extended family through grief came from an article in the last TAPS Magazine titled "Helping a Grandparent Who Is Grieving" By Alan D. Wolfelt, PhD. As I read it, I thought about my husband's father who was the only grandparent alive when our son, Bryon, died. The picture of him sitting in our living room hardly able to s
Spotlight on Service: Shaun Smithson Spotlight on Service: Shaun Smithson Spotlight on Service: Shaun Smithson TAPS “Freedom certainly is not free,” said Shaun Smithson, a longtime TAPS volunteer. “TAPS families know this better than anyone.”Years ago, when Shaun was serving in the U.S. Air Force, his appreciation for surviving families led him to join the team of TAPS volunteers. He joined the Air Force in 1998 after graduating early from high school and his first assignment was to the prestigious Air Force Honor Guard at Joint
Spotlight on Service: Belle Spotlight on Service: Belle Spotlight on Service: Belle TAPS Honor’s First for Freedom is my full name, but most everyone calls me Belle. I’m a Golden Retriever, born on January 27, 2005, in Charlotte, North Carolina. I left my furry family when I was only nine weeks old and flew to Virginia to start my new life with my new family. My new mom Lisa Dolan met me at the airport in Norfolk, Virginia. Yes, I was born to travel! Besides my mom, I have a sister Becca and a brother Beau. Their fath
TAPS Supports the 'Got Your 6' Campaign TAPS Supports the 'Got Your 6' Campaign TAPS Supports the 'Got Your 6' Campaign TAPS TAPS Supports the 'Got Your 6' Campaign, Works to Raise Awareness of Military Family Needs with Hollywood Connections As our nation pauses on the anniversary of D-Day to remember the service and sacrifice given by our veterans and their families, the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) announces its participation in the recently launched “Got Your 6” campaign. The campaign is designed to mobilize
Helping Yourself Heal During the Holiday Season Helping Yourself Heal During the Holiday Season Helping Yourself Heal During the Holiday Season Alan Wolfelt Holidays are often difficult for anyone who has experienced the death of someone loved. Rather than being times of family togetherness, sharing, and thanksgiving, holidays can bring feelings of sadness, loss, and emptiness. Love Does Not End With Death Since love does not end with death, holidays may result in a renewed sense of personal grief—a feeling of loss unlike that exper
Rucking Through Grief Rucking Through Grief Gregory T. Jacobs, Surviving Father of Army SPC David M. Jacobs Hoisting my REI pack onto my back, I feel every bit of the 42 pounds inside. The seams hold together, resilient against the strain. I once again say hello to David as I start my three-mile ruck at the cemetery where he is buried. He doesn’t audibly return the gesture, but I know he is there with me. It is almost as if he winks at me each time, acknowledging, “Dad, I see you have my backpack on again, and I
Saturday Morning Message: Grief Meltdowns Saturday Morning Message: Grief Meltdowns Saturday Morning Message: Grief Meltdowns Carol Lane Good Morning, Grief episodes or meltdowns are times that are hard to control. Sometimes they arrive when you are at places or at times when you don't expect them. Sarah, spouse of David wrote: "I was walking my dog this morning and thinking about a recent grief episode I had. It was at my son's college vet affairs office of all places! It got me to thinking about the many places where these bouts o
(Grief’s) Home for the Holidays (Grief’s) Home for the Holidays Uniformed Services University and TAPS As the song goes, “There’s no place like home for the holidays,” but home might feel different after the loss of a special person. Grief moved in and insists on staying for the holidays. Managing your day-to-day while grieving is challenging enough. Adding seasonal stress and emotions might be too much this year, and that’s OK. To help you slow down and check in with yourself in the comfort of your home, the Center for t
Saturday Morning Message: Pet Grief Support Saturday Morning Message: Pet Grief Support Saturday Morning Message: Pet Grief Support \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, Pets can be comforting. This week, survivors sent their thoughts and pictures of pets not only through the Saturday Morning Message but also through the TAPS Facebook page in a post about International Dog Day. I hope you enjoy reading about these special pets. The opening picture this week is Sox, companion of Perry, father of Christopher. You will read more about him and
The Twenty-Four Toughest Notes The Twenty-Four Toughest Notes The Twenty-Four Toughest Notes Roger Meyer Honoring our loved ones with “Taps” For more information visit www.buglesacrossamerica.org. If you are a brass player, you might consider joining us in our mission to bring live Taps to all veterans. We are always looking for more members so that we can honor more veterans. BAA has more than 5,000 buglers available across the nation. There are even members in Germany, Australia, and other countries—all sounding Taps fo
Faces of TAPS: Surviving Mother Holly Higgins Story Faces of TAPS: Surviving Mother Holly Higgins Story Faces of TAPS: Surviving Mother Holly Higgins Story \| TAPS TAPS Holly Higgins Faces of TAPS gives military survivors the space to, in their own words, both celebrate the lives of their military loved ones and reflect on their personal grief journey. Holly Higgins, surviving mother of U.S. Air Force Senior Airman Daniel James Johnson, lives her life to honor her son. In 2010, Daniel was killed in action in Afghanistan and, ever since, Holly a
Loving Two Men at Once Loving Two Men at Once Loving Two Men at Once \| TAPS Heather Gray Blalock I assessed my hair and makeup in the rearview mirror one last time and took a deep breath as we exited the car. The kids had scribbled “Welcome Home” on the back side of a roll of wrapping paper and were taking turns whacking each other with it. In the mad dash for the airport, we had forgotten the American flags we normally bring to homecomings, and I chided myself for not being better prepared. My fiancé was coming ho
7 Things I’ve Learned Since the Loss of My Child 7 Things I’ve Learned Since the Loss of My Child 7 Things I’ve Learned Since the Loss of My Child Angela Miller Child loss is a loss like no other. One often misunderstood by many. If you love a bereaved parent or know someone who does, remember that even his or her “good” days are harder than you could ever imagine. Compassion and love, not advice, are needed. If you’d like an inside look into why the loss of a child is a grief that lasts a lifetime, here is what I’ve learned in my seven yea
Intention Setting Intention Setting Intention Setting Kelly Griffith Making Goals That Honor You and Your Hero The knock at the door came, and my world stopped. But within weeks I realized the world was still spinning for others. And they couldn't understand why mine wasn't. They wanted to know when my world would be in order again. They didn't realize that everything-including my priorities-had changed. I found myself feeling as if all the life goals I had before my brother died weren't worth much anymor
Run and Remember: A Special Connection Run and Remember: A Special Connection Run and Remember: A Special Connection Bob Derga Lisa Arnold Each year the TAPS Run and Remember Team pairs willing runners with families of the fallen whose loved ones will be commemorated by the run. As our largest running event of the year, the Marine Corps Marathon (MCM) in October fields the most runners and therefore makes the most connections between families and runners. Last year Lisa Arnold, a mother of five young boys, ran the MCM in h
Grief, Joy, Hope, and Healing Grief, Joy, Hope, and Healing Grief, Joy, Hope, and Healing \| TAPS Judy Thomas Our oldest child, Nathan, was born in September, on a Sunday, which seemed fitting for someone whose name means “gift from God.” He was an easy-going baby and could sleep anywhere. He had a supportive nature and enjoyed fishing — even into adulthood. Before graduating from high school, Nathan joined the U.S. Army through the delayed-entry program. His contract was for Airborne Infantry with the 173rd A
Saturday Morning Message: The Comfort of Pets Saturday Morning Message: The Comfort of Pets The Comfort of Pets \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good morning, This is a perfect topic for today since it is National Pet Day, a holiday celebrating our loving animals and the joy they bring to our lives every single day. More importantly, the holiday creates public awareness about the challenges shelter animals face and encourages humans to help them. This week survivors introduced us to their companion animals and how they are
Saturday Morning Message: The Comfort of Pets Saturday Morning Message: The Comfort of Pets The Comfort of Pets \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good morning, The opening picture this week is of Dandelion, my daughter’s cat. She loves animals, but wasn’t able to have a cat when she lived at home, because I am allergic. So the minute she moved into her own place, this is the cat she chose from the shelter. This week more survivors shared stories and pictures of their beloved pets. For those of us who have pets, they offer mu
Faith-Focused Programming May Help Suicide Survivors Faith-Focused Programming May Help Suicide Survivors Faith-Focused Programming May Help Suicide Survivors \| TAPS Shauna Springer Melinda Moore Editor's note: Shauna Springer and Melinda Moore serve on the National Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention's Faith Communities Task Force, which provides resources on the topic of suicide loss. Dr. Moore is co-lead of the task force. As part of Suicide Prevention Month, the Action Alliance invites faith communities across the nation to pray during th
Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Mementos Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Mementos Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Mementos \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, I am always pleasantly surprised when I read the responses to the weekly question and this week was no exception. The response sent by Betty, mother of Michael, included a picture of an item given to her at her son’s funeral. Betty wrote, “At Michael’s service at Dallas-Fort Worth National Cemetery, one of the Marines from Michael’s unit presented me with an item. Much was a
Saturday Morning Message: Stress Reduction Strategies Saturday Morning Message: Stress Reduction Strategies Saturday Morning Message: Stress Reduction Strategies Carol Lane Good morning, The picture this week is from a TAPS seminar. I was inspired to use it by the suggestions given by several survivors this week. I had not thought about cooking as a way to manage stress, but you will read more in the Answers from Survivors section. TAPS is constantly working on events and programs to help survivors on their journey. As you read this, think a
P.S. I’ve Got a Big Secret P.S. I’ve Got a Big Secret A Military Widow's Secret - TAPS News Linda Ambard I’ve got a big secret and soon the world will know it. The person involved will know it, but to understand the magnitude of these unspoken words, one must reflect on the past. A little more than five years ago, everything I knew about my life imploded with the assassination of my Phil. We had been married for more than 23 years and the only dreams I had revolved around growing old and dying together one day far away
Saturday Morning Message: Jewelry Options Saturday Morning Message: Jewelry Options Saturday Morning Message: Jewelry Options Carol Lane Good Morning, There were so many good ideas that came in about the wearing and placement of jewelry in the home that there will be two weeks on this topic. Let's broaden the subject this week to allow for other ideas on the display of these special items. The question for this week is: Do you wear commemorative jewelry or other attire or do you have a special place for them in your home? Sharing i
Saturday Morning Message: The Story Behind the Name Saturday Morning Message: The Story Behind the Name Saturday Morning Message: The Story Behind the Name Carol Lane Good Morning, This week, spring arrived in my part of the country. My favorite flower is the rose, so I thought I would send a picture to you today. Now that it is warmer, people in my neighborhood stop and talk when they're outside. When I was young, many people would talk about who they were named after and why. This has always been one of my favorite conversations. Survivors
Saturday Morning Message: Introductions Saturday Morning Message: Introductions Saturday Morning Message: Introductions \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, Since this week the Saturday Morning Message topic is about introductions, I thought I would open with a picture of my son, Bryon, doing what he loved to do. He was a crew chief on USMC helicopters. You can see by the smile on his face that he loved it. I am going to keep my comments short this week, because there were so many wonderful memories that were shared. Please enjoy this
Saturday Morning Message: The Warmth of Friendship Saturday Morning Message: The Warmth of Friendship Saturday Morning Message: The Warmth of Friendship Carol Lane Good morning, On this week’s TAPS Facebook page, it was suggested reading the article, “It Takes a Tribe” by Shauna Springer. The article fits today’s topic perfectly. She shares the ways a professional can give help and how we can support each other through friendship when disaster strikes. The article lists three ways that I want to explore: “Deploy the power of touch Speak
Finding Your Inner Warrior Finding Your Inner Warrior Finding Your Inner Warrior Emily Munoz TAPS Launches 2016 Health and Wellness Initiative Visit www.taps.org/innerwarrior or email innerwarrior@taps.org to learn more about how to get involved. The pain of loss may make it difficult to find energy for anything other than half-hearted New Year’s resolutions. Too drained to go through the motions of identifying goals and possibilities, we never quite make it to the point of unwavering belief in what is yet to co
Out of My Comfort Zone Out of My Comfort Zone Out of My Comfort Zone Rachael Hill For spring break, I decided to take my boys on a ten day trip to California. What started out as a simple visit, quickly became a whirlwind trip up and down the coast with a lot of time for personal reflection. We left on a red eye flight and arrived at Los Angeles at 11:30 in the morning. We got our rental car and proceeded to drive to our hotel near San Diego. Immediately after leaving the airport, I found myself on the 405 in
Self Care Self Care Self Care Leslie McCaddon Reconnecting…with myself One of the things I heard early on at TAPS, as well as from my counselor at home, is the importance of self-care. I’m a mother of three young children. Whenever this term “self-care” is thrown around in my presence I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. Photo Courtesy of Leslie McCaddon Take care of myself? Sure! I try to shower, most days. I eat well…well, at least when I eat the kid’s leftovers! I sleep. Sure, I sleep!
A Change of Season A Change of Season A Change of Season Darcie Sims Learning to Keep our Loved Ones’ Memories Alive in Every Season It’s harvest time, clean up time, gathering time. It’s time to put away the beach balls and the lawn mower. It’s time to shake the sand from the shoes and store away the croquet set and find the storm windows. It’s time to “put up” the garden’s bounty and find someone who doesn’t have enough zucchini. It’s time to find the mittens and try on the sweaters and coats. It’s time to g
A 9/11 Reflection: TAPS at the Pentagon Family Assistance Center A 9/11 Reflection: TAPS at the Pentagon Family Assistance Center A 9/11 Reflection: TAPS at the Pentagon Family Assistance Center Bonnie Carroll On September 11, 2001, the TAPS Families watched along with the rest of the world as the unthinkable tragedy unfolded. As military survivors, there was an immediate realization that the mission of the American Armed Forces would change profoundly after that day. Bonnie Carroll, TAPS President and Founder, was serving as an Air Force Reserve Officer
Saturday Morning Message: Treating Ourselves Saturday Morning Message: Treating Ourselves Saturday Morning Message: Treating Ourselves \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, For many of us the past holidays have been stressful, so the first question of 2018 is not about resolutions that can bring on more uneasiness but rather the things we do to treat ourselves. The picture today is of myself and friends at last year’s TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar. This is the treat that I look forward to each year. It is a chance to get together a
Run and Remember Team: Finding the FUN in Fundraising Run and Remember Team: Finding the FUN in Fundraising Run and Remember Team: Finding the FUN in Fundraising Betsy Beard Since October of 2000 when the first Run and Remember Team of two runners raised nearly five thousand dollars, fundraising has been a part of the team’s efforts on behalf of TAPS. Not only do TAPS runners spend time training for the event, but they also use their skills and ingenuity to raise awareness and raise funds in support of the TAPS mission. Some runners run only
Tribute to the Honorable Robert J. Dole Tribute to the Honorable Robert J. Dole Tribute to the Honorable Robert J. Dole \| TAPS TAPS TAPS Honorary Board Member July 22, 1923 — December 5, 2021 In December 5, 2021, our longtime friend, the Honorable Robert J. Dole, 98, passed away in the early morning hours. His precious family, our nation, and our TAPS family will dearly miss him. He was a warrior and the “greatest of the greatest generation,” always placing his beloved country above partisanship and politics. In 194
Observe Junk Food Day to Remember and Celebrate a Loved One Observe Junk Food Day to Remember and Celebrate a Loved One! Observe Junk Food Day to Remember and Celebrate a Loved One \| TAPS Ginny Bouchard National Junk Food Day is upon us! The day is dedicated to the unhealthy treats we try to avoid, but we love so much. My daughter, Lily, and I use food as a method to remember and celebrate our hero, Master Sgt. John Bouchard. At 8 years old, Lily can sometimes struggle with remembering her dad and the things he loved. She regularly asks, “Would Dad l
Vision Board: Creating a Life You Envision Vision Board: Creating a Life You Envision Vision Board: Creating a Life You Envision \| TAPS Erin Jacobson Do you need help creating a roadmap for the life you envision for yourself? This New Year, instead of making a quick resolution or two, set aside time to imagine what your life would be like in the best possible scenario. What would it be like to choose new dreams or new purpose, even in our grief? Bring to your mind’s eye what that might look like. What are the things that surround yo
A Legacy Mentor’s Unforgettable Experience A Legacy Mentor’s Unforgettable Experience A Legacy Mentor’s Unforgettable Experience \| TAPS Angel Pansini This year I had the opportunity to travel to New York for five days of networking and professional development, along with 11 other TAPS young adult legacy mentors. A legacy mentor is a military survivor who has graduated from Good Grief Camp and is ready to support younger survivors in their grief journey. As mentees who have made the transition into the role of mentor, we are testamen
Learning to Breathe Again at IslandWood Learning to Breathe Again at IslandWood Learning to Breathe Again at IslandWood Elizabeth Culp Sergent In August my boys and I attended the first annual TAPS Family Campout in western Washington state. Initially my boys were excited but I was a little hesitant. Even though we are past the one year anniversary of my husband’s death I find myself avoiding events remembering and honoring lost loved ones. We have worked diligently on healing and moving forward and living our lives. Th
Finding Inspiration and Purpose After Loss Finding Inspiration and Purpose After Loss Finding Inspiration and Purpose After Loss \| TAPS TAPS Tori Seals Each of us walking a grief journey searches for meaning — a sense of purpose — after the loss of our loved one. This profound and empowering revelation comes to each of us at different times and different ways. For some of us, it comes through our connection to other survivors and seeking inspiration and hope from the growth they have experienced on their journey. For others, it may com
Connecting Through Experience Connecting Through Experience Connecting Through Experience Mark Evans I came to Peer Mentoring not by education but by experience. I was involved with my church for a number of years with an organization called Stephen Ministry, a program that trains people to help others get through hard times by offering support and letting people know they are not alone in their struggles. I came to Stephen Ministry after losing my older brother by his own hand. I worked with Stephen Ministry for two yea
Beyond My Fears Beyond My Fears Beyond My Fears Linda Ambard A borrowed line from a song sums it up well. "People say that I'm amazing, strong beyond my years, but they don't see inside of me. I'm hiding all my fears." I've been afraid of my very first memories - afraid of fire, darkness, getting lost, fitting in, trying new things, you name it. I quake and feel slightly nauseated when I am confronted with new situations, decisions, predicaments and even surprises. I learned long ago, though, that waiting on
Saturday Morning Message: What Happens at the TAPS National Seminar Saturday Morning Message: What Happens at the TAPS National Seminar Saturday Morning Message: What Happens at the TAPS National Seminar Carol Lane Good Morning, This week, our discussion focused on the TAPS National Seminar. Our question asked those who have attended the event to share their experience with survivors who have not attended. TAPS National starts before anyone arrives when a group of volunteers lovingly put together materials that attendees will need for the weekend. To rea
Spotlight on Service: Roseanne Lehman Spotlight on Service: Roseanne Lehman Spotlight on Service: Roseanne Lehman TAPS Although she’s not a survivor of a military death, Roseanne Lehman is no stranger to loss and grieving. She’s relatively new to involvement with TAPS, but certainly not a new face to the volunteer scene. And from the looks of it, she’s here to stay for the long haul. A native New Yorker now living in the Metropolitan DC area, she’s found a new sense of purpose and focus with the TAPS family. Roseanne was born
Saturday Morning Message: Dreams Part 1 Saturday Morning Message: Dreams Part 1 Saturday Morning Message: Dreams Part 1 \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, Dreams not only come at night, but sometimes on a warm sunny day, we can be relaxing and fall into a gentle sleep, so that is why I chose this picture. The responders this week talk about a variety of times their loved ones came to them in a dream and the feelings around it. I know you will enjoy the replies that came in answer to this week’s question. Remember, you can write to
Just Love at IslandWood Just Love at IslandWood Just Love at IslandWood Chelsea Martin When I stepped off the plane into Seattle, Washington, I had no idea what a family campout was going to entail. All I knew was that my son was excited to get his hands dirty and play outside. Once getting to IslandWood, I was blown away by the scenic view of the thick forest, the lush green grass and ferns, and the calmness I felt. There was no sound of city life, lawnmowers, or cars honking. I heard birds chirping, leaves blowin
Support When You Need It Support When You Need It Support When You Need It Misty Blum Some people describe the unexpected death of a spouse as having the air suddenly taken from their lungs, but I would have to disagree. I know that lack of air is certain death. It's been nearly three years since my husband died, and I'm still here. I think the death of a spouse or other close loved one is more like the loss of a limb. In most cases, it won't kill you but it will permanently alter every aspect of your life and how yo