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Photos: teams4taps Liverpool teams4taps FC Liverpool Experience teams4taps FC Liverpool Experience Photos \| TAPS TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (32 photos and 1 video) teams4taps, photos, military survivor Flickr Album Event Photos: US and UK Families celebrate the life and service of fallen loved ones with LFC Foundation along side Home Base and SSAFA on March 21, 2025.
You are Warmly Welcome to Join Us on Memorial Day Weekend 2019 You are Warmly Welcome to Join Us on Memorial Day Weekend 2019 Join us on Memorial Day Weekend 2019 \| TAPS TAPS Just as the stars brighten the night, our TAPS family brings light into the darkness of grief. At the 25th Annual TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp, we’ll focus on the light of the love we have shared and continue to share. We’ll look more deeply into our own processes, reflect on our strengths, learn how we can give and accept support, and contemplate how
Saturday Morning Message: Positive Lessons Learned Saturday Morning Message: Positive Lessons Learned Saturday Morning Message: Positive Lessons Learned Carol Lane Good Morning, The question last week was about sharing positive lessons learned on this grief journey. Lighthouses have special meaning for me. They light the way for those encountering difficulties while traveling. We do the same when we write about our experiences in the Saturday Morning Message. Sometimes we encounter these concepts in the form of surprises. This past Sunday
International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day \| TAPS Carla Stumpf Patton International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day, also known as ISOSLD or Survivor Day, is on Saturday, November 21, 2020, and is intended to be a day of healing throughout the world, where all those impacted by suicide loss can connect around the lives of their loved ones and the experiences of hope, support, and encouragement. According to The American Foundation for Suicide Pre
Saturday Morning Message: Marking Days of Remembrance Saturday Morning Message: Marking Days of Remembrance Saturday Morning Message: Marking Days of Remembrance Carol Lane Good Morning, There were many responses to the question about what survivors do on special days like birthdays and angelversaries. By sharing what we do, we're able to give ideas to other survivors - and that is why the Saturday Morning Message was created. Caryn, mother of Nathan and spouse of Micheal, sent this picture of the dream catcher she will add to her son's collec
Video: The Toxic Exposure in the American Military (TEAM) Act Video: The Toxic Exposure in the American Military (TEAM) Act Video: The Toxic Exposure in the American Military (TEAM) Act \| TAPS TAPS Media For 26 years, the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) has cared for those grieving the death of a military loved one regardless of how they died. TAPS is leading the way in developing legislation relevant to the issue of toxic exposure in the military which has led to a unanimous Senate Committee on Veterans' Affairs vote to pass our Landmar
Video: TAPS Statement for the Record June 26 Video: TAPS Statement for the Record Video: TAPS Statement for the Record presented on June 26, 2024 \| TAPS News Ashlynne Haycock-Lohmann TAPS Media Ashlynne Haycock-Lohmann, Deputy Director, TAPS Government and Legislative Affairs presents TAPS Statement for the Record regarding Dependency and Indemnity Compensation (DIC) for high school students and graduates and delays in claims processing at the June 26, 2024, Legislative Hearing before the House Committee on Veterans' Affairs Subcommittee
Saturday Morning Message: Honoring Our Loved Ones On Memorial Day Saturday Morning Message: Honoring Our Loved Ones On Memorial Day Honoring Our Loved Ones On Memorial Day \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message TAPS Good Morning, TAPS families from across the country will gather both in person and virtually for our 27th Annual National Military Seminar and Good Grief Camp over Memorial Day Weekend. This is always a weekend full of love and connection among survivors supporting survivors. As we come together to honor our nation's fallen heroes, our lov
Photos: Veterans Affairs Secretary and Under Secretary for Benefits Visit TAPS Headquarters Veterans Affairs Secretary and Under Secretary for Benefits Visit TAPS Headquarters Veterans Affairs Secretary and Under Secretary for Benefits Visit TAPS Headquarters Photos TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (15 photos) taps advocacy, photos, department of Veterans Affairs Flickr Album Event Photos: VA Secretary Denis McDonough and the VA Under Secretary for Benefits, Josh Jacobs visit TAPS Headquarters
988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Offers Hope, Connection and Support to Help Save Lives 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Offers Hope, Connection and Support to Help Save Lives 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Offers Hope, Connection and Support to Help Save Lives \| TAPS Carla Stumpf Patton We all can do our part at preventing suicide, starting with the resources to seek support and help from the new, “988” Suicide & Crisis Lifeline and Veteran’s Crisis Line (Veterans press1). The Transition to 988 on July 16, 2022 is an important step forward and offers an unprecedented opportuni
Saturday Morning Message: Living A Life With Honor Saturday Morning Message: Living A Life With Honor Saturday Morning Message: Living A Life With Honor \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, In the latest issue of TAPS Magazine, author Alan Wolfelt shares his thoughts about using the word reconciliation instead of closure when talking about our feelings around the death of a loved one. He wrote, “Reconciling our grief means integrating our new reality of a life without the physical presence of the person who died. Not just surviving, but really li
Saturday Morning Message: Displaying Memorabilia Saturday Morning Message: Displaying Memorabilia Saturday Morning Message: Displaying Memorabilia Carol Lane Good Morning, This week’s question was inspired by Merry, surviving mother of Wesley. She sent a picture of what she had done to produce Wes’s Honor Wall. The thought crossed my mind that it might be good to find out what others have done with those special mementoes, so last week’s question asked survivors what they chose to do with these beloved items. The answers were varied and in
Saturday Morning Message: Month of the Military Caregiver Saturday Morning Message: Month of the Military Caregiver Month of the Military Caregiver \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Coleen Bowman Good Morning, As we enter the month of May, as we do every day, TAPS will honor all who have served and died. We are also honoring our Military caregivers, as May is the Month of the Military Caregiver. During this time, we would like to pause for a moment and acknowledge your sacrifice as a caregiver. Being a caregiver to your loved one can take a toll on y
Believing in Heroes Believing in Heroes Believing in Heroes Marten Wallace On September 2015, I had the great pleasure of representing TAPS at the Points of Light National Day of Service and Remembrance held at the Washington Monument. Being asked to be a storyteller to the 5th graders of Harriet Tubman Elementary School was a great privilege and honor. The title of my story was, Believing in Heroes. I asked the children during my story, what is a hero? Is a hero a cartoon character like Superman or an athlet
Video: The Power of Sound Healing Video: The Power of Sound Healing The Power of Sound Healing Webinar \| TAPS Institute Janie Keilwitz Sound healing has been used throughout the ages from modern day medicine to ancient Greek and Chinese cultures. In this program you’ll learn about the history and use of sound healing, recent scientific research, and amazing discoveries on how this cutting-edge therapy is being used to treat medical conditions and help with trauma, grief, and stress. The program will discuss various acupressu
Peer Mentors Bring TAPS Care Groups to More Local Communities Peer Mentors Bring TAPS Care Groups to More Local Communities Peer Mentors Bring TAPS Care Groups to More Local Communities \| TAPS TAPS Volunteer Peer Mentors and mental health professionals facilitated over 560 TAPS Care Groups in 2019, up from 280 groups the previous year. The dedication of these volunteers made it possible for survivors in more than 50 communities in 26 states to have the compassionate support of others who have lived through similar losses. TAPS Peer Mentors gave their t
Saturday Morning Message: Navigating Changes In Our Lives Saturday Morning Message: Navigating Changes In Our Lives Navigating Changes In Our Lives \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message TAPS Good Morning TAPS Family, As we enter this last weekend of April, we have begun to see the new growth taking place in the world around us. As flowers bloom, trees take their familiar green shape, and warmer weather greets us, we have an opportunity to explore new growth in ourselves as well. Change has knocked on our door in so many ways. While not all change feels h
Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Events Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Events Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Events Carol Lane Good morning, I wanted to share one of my favorite areas at the 23rd Annual TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp, which was where I was for Memorial Day weekend. This is a picture of the TAPS Family Tree. Survivors were encouraged to take a paper leaf and write a message to their loved one. There was a sticky back to the leaf, and the survivors could place it next to
Healing Trauma in Military Survivors Healing Trauma in Military Survivors Healing Trauma in Military Survivors \| TAPS Carla Stumpf Patton June is PTSD Awareness month June is awareness month for PTSD (Posttraumatic Stress Disorder), making it critical to talk openly to create the understanding and encouragement needed to seek care and treatment. Trauma can be experienced in people of all ages and demographics, resulting from various life events such as: natural disasters, accidents, crime, war, medical or life-threateni
Healing on the Line Healing on the Line Healing on the Line \| TAPS Larry Mace This article is adapted from Larry’s original article which was published in the February/March 2024 issue of Fly Fisherman magazine. Unfortunately, I am the father of an Army hero who was killed in the battle of Kamdesh, on October 3, 2009, in Afghanistan. When my son, Stephan Mace, was stationed at Fort Carson, Colorado, I went out to visit him for two weeks to share our love for the outdoors. We hiked in the snow to U
Grief Causing Physical Pain? Turns Out, That’s Pretty Normal. Grief Causing Physical Pain? Turns Out, That’s Pretty Normal. Kathleen Ferraro In the weeks after my father died, I was numb. And then one day, about two months later, bam. My neck muscles were so tight I couldn’t turn my head, my stomach churned in ways unrelated to hunger, my jaw was clenched shut, and my limbs were heavy with exhaustion. The physical effects of grief had finally caught up with me. Over the next few years, these physical health issues came in waves — sometimes a heada
Video: What Music Teaches Us About Coping with Grief Video: What Music Teaches Us About Coping with Grief What Music Teaches Us About Coping with Grief Webinar \| TAPS Institute Joy Berger Even after a loved one dies, love lives on and the bond continues. If there's a person, time, or place you'd like to visit or connect with, what music would take you there? Join Joy Berger in exploring rich entries into our life-stories through music, both literally and metaphorically. This video was recorded and presented by the TAPS Institute for Hope and H
You Deserve to Heal You Deserve to Heal You Deserve to Heal Alan Wolfelt “Wounds don’t heal the way you want them to; they heal the way they need to. It takes time for wounds to fade into scars. It takes time for the process of healing to take place. Give yourself that time. Give yourself that grace. Be gentle with your wounds. Be gentle with your heart. You deserve to heal.” – Dele Olanubi Yes, it takes time and, most important, the process of active mourning for healing to unfold. You must be patient and gi
Saturday Morning Message: Personalized Memorials Express Your Special Relationship Saturday Morning Message: Personalized Memorials Express Your Special Relationship Saturday Morning Message: Personalized Memorials Express Your Special Relationship \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, There are days during the year that commemorate the special connection we have with our loved ones. Last week Dianna, wife of Thomas, wanted to know what others do on those days. In addition to the responses from other survivors, I wanted to share what we do. My husband and I joined a gardening gr
Saturday Morning Message: Tokens Left at the Cemetery Saturday Morning Message: Tokens Left at the Cemetery Saturday Morning Message: Tokens Left at the Cemetery \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, When survivors go to the cemetery to spend time, they bring items that are meaningful to their loved one and themselves. The opening picture came from Claire, daughter of William. As you can see, she brings items that go with the season. The cemetery where my son, Bryon, lies allows only flowers, stones and wreaths. This week survivors shared the many di
Five Years into the After: A Letter to Owen Five Years into the After: A Letter to Owen Five Years into the After: A Letter to Owen \| TAPS Kelly Lennon Fitzpatrick Hello Little Brother, I think about you every day. I know you know that. Each year around your anniversary, the thoughts become strings of words, and I’ve tried to record my changing feelings around the times “Before” and “After.” This year, the words have changed and are less for me and more for you — my conversation with you. We feel you all around us, and are reminded of
Grief and Sleep Grief and Sleep Grief and Sleep \| TAPS Heather Stang 7 Tips to Cope with Insomnia After Loss Coping with grief isn’t easy. In addition to the emotional toll, there are a myriad of physical side effects. Sleeplessness is perhaps one of the most frustrating symptoms – when you are sleepy and can’t sleep it just adds insult to injury. While insomnia is considered a common grief reaction, sleeplessness should not be ignored, but tended to mindfully. When we don’t get enough sleep it impacts
Online TAPS Events Online TAPS Events Online TAPS Events \| TAPS TAPS Find Comfort and Healing Online The TAPS Online Community is here for you – wherever you are in your grief journey, the country, or the world. The recently updated TAPS Online Community allows you to explore all of our online programs – including online groups, workshops, and coping skills programs – in one place. Through online sessions, connect with, learn from, and be inspired by fellow survivors. Finding your peers within the TAP
Saturday Morning Message: Lifting Our Spirits Saturday Morning Message: Lifting Our Spirits Saturday Morning Message: Angelversary Ideas \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, This week, in addition to the responses to the question about lifting spirits, there were a variety of pictures included. The lead picture comes from Kelsey, mother of Michael. You will read her explanation later in the message. We all have such unique ways of creating a way to lift our spirits when we are down. I know you will find those who wrote this week to have imag
TAPS Magazine Fall 2020 TAPS Magazine Fall 2020 TAPS Magazine Fall 2020 TAPS Quarterly Magazine In the taskbar below, select the full screen option to enlarge and the download option for a PDF version of this issue. Volume 26, Issue 3
TAPS Magazine Summer 2020 TAPS Magazine Summer 2020 TAPS Magazine Summer 2020 TAPS Quarterly Magazine In the taskbar below, select the full screen option to enlarge and the download option for a PDF version of this issue. Volume 26, Issue 2
TAPS Magazine Winter 2020 TAPS Magazine Winter 2020 TAPS Magazine Winter 2020 TAPS Quarterly Magazine In the taskbar below, select the full screen option to enlarge and the download option for a PDF version of this issue. Volume 26, Issue 4
Photos: National Day of Service National Day of Service at TAPS Headquarters National Day of Service at TAPS Headquarters TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (26 photos) volunteer for TAPS, photos, TAPS Headquarters Flickr Album Event Photos: Volunteers assemble resource kits for TAPS Survivors on January 18, 2021 at TAPS Headquarters in Arlington, Virginia.
Video:Underserved and Overlooked: Supporting Widowed Parents Video: Underserved and Overlooked: Supporting Widowed Parents Video: Underserved and Overlooked: Supporting Widowed Parents \| TAPS Institute Justin Yopp Chantel Dooley This video recording of the webinar, recorded by the TAPS Institute for Hope and Healing® with Justin Yopp, PhD, and moderator Chantel Dooley, MA, PhD candidate, presents the latest research and clinical efforts aimed at supporting these parents and their families who face unique and specific bereavement challenges. Select imag
Saturday Morning Message: Displaying Our Folded Flags Saturday Morning Message: Displaying Our Folded Flags Saturday Morning Message: Displaying Our Folded Flags \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, This week there were so many varied responses that I am going to keep my comments short. Misti, mother of Ashton, sent this beautiful picture that she titled “Fallen Sailor American Flag” as her response to the question. I thought it would make a wonderful opening picture. Would you like to share a question or read how other survivors respond to a top
Saturday Morning Message: Celebrating Our Great Country Saturday Morning Message: Celebrating Our Great Country Celebrating Our Great Country \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Today we are celebrating July 4th by virtually traveling. The opening picture is the front of one of the hotels that housed the TAPS 24th National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp in Arlington, Virginia. In addition to the beautiful flag and flowers, the link shows pictures of the activities that happened at that seminar. We hope you will enjoy
The Second Year The Second Year The Second Year Janet Crane Facing the Reality The second anniversary date of my son's death was April 26, 2014. Another Gold Star Mother had told me the second year was worse than the first, and I didn't believe it. But it was true in many ways. Jason is buried several hours away from us, so we had made a special trip on the first anniversary of his death. I had known for several months that we would be going to his grave, and the stress and tension built each month i
Saturday Morning Message: A Change of Purpose After Loved One's Death Saturday Morning Message: A Change of Purpose After Loved One's Death Saturday Morning Message: A Change of Purpose After Loved One's Death Carol Lane Good Morning, Our life is forever changed after the death of a loved one. This week's question was about doing things that honor our loved ones as our purpose in life changes. Jeanne, mother of Todd, sent this link to the "Open to Hope" radio show in which she was interviewed. Jeanne is an artist who has created many paintings including one s
Video: TAPS is Here for Military Survivors Video: TAPS is Here for Military Survivors Video: TAPS is Here for Military Survivors TAPS Media The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) provides compassionate care to all those grieving the death of a military loved one, no matter when, where or how the death took place. TAPS impact on our nation's surviving families has transformed lives. No matter waht, no matter when, TAPS is there. Select image below to play. taps mission, gold star families, hope and healing from grief
TAPS Young Adults Program: A Place for Community And Transformative Healing and Growth TAPS Young Adults Program: A Place for Community And Transformative Healing and Growth TAPS Young Adults Program: A Place for Community And Transformative Healing and Growth Joelle Leek The TAPS Young Adults Program supports 18-30 year old military surviving children and siblings. Utilizing foundational pillars of financial stability, communications, career guidance, personal development and service to others, the program helps survivors grow through their grief and become well rounded young
What Does 'Recover' Mean? What Does 'Recover' Mean? What Does 'Recover' Mean? Darcie Sims Redefining Our Expectations It’s hot and already I am beginning to pray for the return of winter. The days of summer have grown old and tired and I’m weary of hurting. Grief has followed me forever, or so it seems. When can I release the pain in search of the promise? How long must I hurt? Is grief measured in days, weeks, months, years, or lifetimes? I’m thirsty and I need a drink of hope. Grief has been a tornado, a volca
Saturday Morning Message: Memories Saturday Morning Message: Memories Saturday Morning Message: Memories Carol Lane Good Morning, This week's message is laid out a bit differently. Since the picture this week is a picture Sue, mother of Marcus, sent in response to last week's question about sharing a memory of our loved ones, I thought it would be good to include her memory in the first part of the message. Here is her memory: "Oct. 25, 2007, started out like a normal Christmas day for our family. WHAT? Christmas in Oct
Saturday Morning Message: Thankful for TAPS Saturday Morning Message: Thankful for TAPS Saturday Morning Message: Thankful for TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, Because it is Thanksgiving weekend, this Saturday Morning Message features a list of resources TAPS provides that I am thankful for as a survivor. Since a list of all the programs would make this message too long, I’ve only included some of the programs. Visit TAPS programs web page to learn more. The picture today is from the TAPS website showing survivors participating in t
A Different Path A Different Path A Different Path Randy Beard Why is it that human beings, when faced with the unknowable, develop expectations of how it is going to be? I really had no idea what my journey of grief was going to be like, but that didn’t stop me from developing unfounded expectations. Of course not! The problem with those expectations is that they added extra stress to my already burdened soul. Not only did I experience the grief, but I also experienced the failure of not meeting my ri
A Look at Loneliness A Look at Loneliness A Look at Loneliness \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt "The eternal quest of the individual human being is to shatter his loneliness." — Norman Cousins The COVID-19 pandemic has increased our awareness of the problem of loneliness. We were lonely before the novel coronavirus arose, and we’re even lonelier since routine social distancing, isolation, and quarantining became unfortunate necessities. Of course, for those of us in grief, the natural loneliness of loss also compounds our fe
Saturday Morning Message: Making a Difference With TAPS Events Saturday Morning Message: Making a Difference With TAPS Events Saturday Morning Message: Making a Difference With TAPS Events \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, Since our question this week is about TAPS events, and those who responded covered many of them, I thought showing a picture of American TAPS survivors meeting in 2016 in the United Kingdom might be helpful to show that TAPS also travels to other countries. If you want to attend an event from your own living room, I suggest the chats
Partnership Creates Healing Connections To Nature and Peers For TAPS Families Partnership Creates Healing Connections To Nature and Peers For TAPS Families Partnership Creates Healing Connections To Nature and Peers For TAPS Families \| TAPS Rachel Hunsell TAPS Outdoors hosted our first TAPS Togethers National Park Fishing Day with Atlanta area TAPS families on Saturday, June 25 at Hyde Farm Park in the Chattahoochee River National Recreation Area. This is the first of ten such events in partnership with the N
What Eligible Military Survivors Need to Know About the TRICARE Changes What Eligible Military Survivors Need to Know About the TRICARE Changes What Eligible Military Survivors Need to Know About the TRICARE Changes \| TAPS TAPS Updated Jan. 3, 2018 Surviving spouses and children eligible for TRICARE can expect to see stories of changes to the military’s health care system in the coming months, as mandated by the 2017 National Defense Authorization Act. The current TRICARE Standard and TRICARE Extra plans will be merged into a single plan, called TRICARE Select.
New Years: A Time for Self-Exploration New Years: A Time for Self-Exploration New Years: A Time for Self-Exploration \| TAPS TAPS The beginning of a new year is an obvious time for reevaluation, but it’s also an opportunity for compassionate self-awareness. We focus so often on what we need to do — thinking that if we do certain things, we’ll have certain outcomes, and then we’ll be a certain way or feel a certain sense of satisfaction. This year, though, instead of a New Year’s resolution — a commitment to “do”-ing something — w
Good Mourning Podcast: The Many Faces of Grief Good Mourning Podcast: The Many Faces of Grief Good Mourning Podcast: The Many Faces of Grief Darcie Sims TAPS' own Darcie Sims has a new weekly podcast entitled Good Mourning: The Many Faces of Grief. Join Darcie, a bereaved parent and child, an internationally recognized speaker and the author of 8 books, as she explores the journey through grief and identifies the choice points we encounter along the way. You will discover you can cry and laugh at the same time, learn tools for coping and
Healing Wisdom from Trees Healing Wisdom from Trees Healing Wisdom from Trees \| TAPS Erin Jacobson There are times in life when we feel completely lost. The foundations that held us in place and helped us to make sense of the world are broken and we are left trying to make sense of a new reality. This is particularly true when we experience the death of a loved one. Not only do we go through the grief of losing a person we love, often times we lose our sense of self and our place in the world. In times of confusion or
TAPS and Jon Stewart Launch New Center for Hope and Healing Connecting Vets: TAPS and Jon Stewart Launch New Center for Hope and Healing Connecting Vets: TAPS and Jon Stewart Launch New Center for Hope and Healing\| TAPS In the News Phil Briggs News Source: Connecting Vets friends of taps, donor news, honor the fallen TAPS and Jon Stewart Launch New Center for Hope and Healing Families grieving the loss of a military loved one have a new place to go to heal that wound, a sort-of hospital of the heart: TAPS Institute for Hope and Healing.
International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day \| TAPS Carla Stumpf Patton International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day is on Saturday, November 23, 2019, and is intended to be a day of healing throughout the world, where all those impacted by suicide loss can connect around the lives of their loved ones and the experiences of hope, support, and encouragement. The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (or AFSP) supports hundreds of community even
Widow’s Tax Now Completely Eliminated Widow’s Tax Now Completely Eliminated Widow’s Tax Now Completely Eliminated \| TAPS Candace Wheeler TAPS Policy News: TAPS is pleased to announce that on February 1, 2023, surviving military spouses will receive their full Survivor Benefit Plan (SBP) annuity payment from the Department of Defense (DoD) and their full Dependency and Indemnity Compensation (DIC) payment from the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA). The SBP-DIC Offset, or Widow’s Tax, is completely eliminated, and fu
Photos: Retreat Sedona April Sedona Women's Empowerment Retreat Sedona Military Surviving Womens Empowerment Retreat \| TAPS TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (29 photos) taps retreat, photos, Surviving Spouses and Significant others Flickr Album Event Photos: TAPS surviving women create a plan for healing and growth in Sedona, Arizona April 22 to 26, 2019.
5 Ways to Reconnect With Nature This Earth Day 5 Ways to Reconnect With Nature This Earth Day 5 Ways to Reconnect With Nature This Earth Day \| TAPS Rachel Hunsell Near sunrise this morning, I heard and then saw a few geese flying low across a neighbor’s farm, nearing a small pond. From the corner of my eye I caught two barn swallows tussling near our wisteria bush they’ve made their home. As I turned to walk towards the barn, a killdeer scurried across the field and dug deep for a wormy breakfast. Overhead, the wind whistled i
Seven Years Since My Last Hug Seven Years Since My Last Hug Seven Years Since My Last Hug Charles Palmer December 20th marked seven years since I hugged my son Charles for the last time. I remember that day like it was yesterday. We went to visit Charles at Christmas time, before he was due to deploy. My wife and I were there for ten days. We had a great time meeting his friends and other Marines he worked with. I remember one day we went to a small place on base to watch football with his friends. Marines can be r
The Hike to Healing The Hike to Healing The Hike to Healing Gavin Bradshaw Cory J. Smith. The man that would unknowingly send me to Alaska to be surrounded by the love and support of others on the grief journey like me. I have been a part of the TAPS family for many years, but never have I shared a bond like this with another group of adult children. We traveled to the "Last Frontier," not knowing quite what to expect and maybe for a few, like myself, questioning what exactly we were hoping to get out of this
Helping Surviving Families Achieve Their Post-Secondary Goals Helping Surviving Families Achieve Their Post-Secondary Goals Helping Surviving Families Achieve Their Post-Secondary Goals \| TAPS TAPS When considering post-secondary education, begin with the end in mind and know where you would like to be in the future. It is okay to start right where you are, recognizing that every survivor is at a different point in their school search process. Take one step at a time to be closer to where you would like to be. Remember to cast a wide net when starting y
Kicking Off Our 21st Year - TAPS 2015 Winter in Review Kicking Off Our 21st Year - TAPS 2015 Winter in Review Kicking Off Our 21st Year - TAPS 2015 Winter in Review TAPS Happy March, America’s Family. We are thinking spring here as much as possible in D.C. after the latest ice storm. It has been a cold winter here, but there’s been so much to warm our hearts this past month as the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) geared up for our twenty-first year of caring for the families of America’s fallen heroes. Our staff has put toget
Saturday Morning Message: What In Nature Reminds You Most Of Your Loved One? Saturday Morning Message: What In Nature Reminds You Most Of Your Loved One? What In Nature Reminds You Most Of Your Loved One? \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message TAPS Good Morning, Whether you lend a hand to a neighbor, volunteer at your favorite organization or give back to TAPS, we honor your service to others. We also acknowledge that taking care of ourselves, first and foremost, is important, if we are to be at our best when serving and supporting others. And, we recognize that having the
Struggling To Reclaim My Faith Struggling To Reclaim My Faith Struggling To Reclaim My Faith Dennis Apple My nightmare began on Wednesday, February 6, 1991, at 8:20 a.m. Denny, our eighteen- year-old son had been diagnosed with mononucleosis two days prior, and the doctor had sent us home with medications and orders to rest. However, something awful happened during the night, and the following morning I discovered he had died in his sleep. There is nothing I know of that compares to the horror and shock that comes to the h
8 Ways to Cope After a Suicide Loss 8 Ways to Cope After a Suicide Loss 8 Ways to Cope After a Suicide Loss Carla Stumpf Patton Coping with suicide loss can feel devastating. In its aftermath, it can bring overwhelming, mixed emotions and questions about how and why this happened. More importantly, we wonder how we are going to survive with what feels like an insurmountable level of pain and loss. But, we can and do survive, and there are fellow survivors who offer us hope that our hearts can heal. A group of military survivors
Seven Choices: Finding daylight after loss shatters your world Seven Choices: Finding daylight after loss shatters your world Seven Choices: Finding daylight after loss shatters your world Betsy Beard Early in my grief journey, I looked desperately for books or manuals or instructions-anything to help me get through each day-but bookstores didn't stock very many books about grief. I found this perplexing since death is universal and most of us will experience the loss of a loved one at some point before we ourselves die. For TAPS survivors, that loss see
Saturday Morning Message: Our Places of Comfort Saturday Morning Message: Our Places of Comfort Saturday Morning Message: Our Places of Comfort Carol Lane Good Morning, The last two weeks we have shared some of the places or events that have given us comfort. It is not easy to communicate to others our special songs or original poems and paragraphs. Through the Saturday message it is hoped that we offer a safe and comfortable site to share and reach out across the miles to other survivors offering care and comfort as well as healing for o
Something Borrowed, Something Blue Something Borrowed, Something Blue Something Borrowed, Something Blue \| TAPS Kat Stanley Ester Allgower A wedding is a bittersweet event when the bride and her family are still grieving the loss of one person whose presence at the wedding is critical. As my family prepared for my nuptials to my boyfriend of six years, we were missing one important person, my brother and only sibling, Corporal Richard Allgower, USMC. I was so devastated at the loss of my brother that I often wondered if I would
5th Annual TAPS Celebrity Classic 5th Annual TAPS Celebrity Classic 5th Annual TAPS Celebrity Classic TAPS The Colorado Honor Corps, led by Lynne and Bo Cottrell, hit another homerun this year with the 5th annual TAPS Celebrity Classic raising more than $400,000 for TAPS! The Cottrells have been organizing the Celebrity Classic for five years, ever since a high school friend of Bo’s lost his son in Iraq and turned to TAPS for support. New celebrity hosts Larry, Steve, and Rudy Gatlin brought an exciting, distinctive sizzl
Healing Through Writing Healing Through Writing Healing Through Writing Artis Henderson When my husband CW2 Miles Henderson was killed in Iraq in November 2006, I felt like I had lost everything. Miles was my best friend, my teammate, the reason I got up every morning. Without him, I couldn't imagine a future. Or any future I wanted to be part of. After months of a grief so blinding I could barely function, I realized with great sadness that my life was still going, even without Miles. I started to understand that
Saturday Morning Message: Places That Touch Our Hearts Saturday Morning Message: Places That Touch Our Hearts Saturday Morning Message: Places That Touch Our Hearts \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, With the winter touching many parts of our nation, I thought a picture of a sunrise over a calm lake would be good start for today’s Saturday Morning Message. Once again there are many different responses to the question about places that pull at our heartstrings. This week I am going to add one of my own. For me, the most difficult place is the ch
I’ve Been Everywhere, Man: teams4taps on the road with the NBA I’ve Been Everywhere, Man: teams4taps on the road with the NBA I’ve Been Everywhere, Man: teams4taps on the road with the NBA Bevin Landrum Military families are frequently called to live far from home. Whether they are stationed overseas or just across the country, service members and their families look for ways to maintain close connections to those they love and miss. Walk in any commissary, exchange or food court on a military installation and you’re liable to see a dozen different team
The Legacy Lives On The Legacy Lives On The Legacy Lives On \| TAPS Kristi Stolzenberg Ashlynne Haycock-Lohmann is in her element walking the halls of Congress. The echoes of advocacy, the rushed click clack of heels on the marble floors, and the hush that sweeps the room as a committee hearing comes to order - she answers it all with a steady hand. For Ashlynne, these are the sounds of progress for military and veteran survivors - progress she personally knows is necessary, progress that became her why years ag
New Policy Affects Surviving Children with Special Needs New Policy Affects Surviving Children with Special Needs New Policy Affects Surviving Children with Special Needs TAPS New legislation now allows eligible surviving children with disabilities and incapacitated adult dependents to have their Survivor Benefit Plan payment made to a Special Needs Trust. Previously, a Special Needs Trust did not qualify to receive payments from a survivor benefit plan. What it means for survivors who receive payments from a Survivor Benefit Plan Why is this i
Together We Heal Together We Heal Together We Heal \| TAPS Kristi Stolzenberg Kari Marine It’s become something of a tradition for Kari Marine, the surviving sister of veteran U.S. Army Sergeant Donald Marine, to gather with friends, family, and fellow survivors at the Highground Veterans Memorial Park. The park is a place of beauty and comfort for Kari because there is a bench there in the Persian Gulf Tribute that bears her brother’s name. From a birdseye view, Donald’s bench and the surrounding benches form
Waking Up to Gratitude Waking Up to Gratitude Waking Up to Gratitude \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt I’ve become a fan of sunrises. Before COVID-19 changed all of our lives, my busy travel and teaching schedule had me hopping. Most mornings after I woke up, I went straight to work. I had a love-hate relationship with the adrenaline of stress. I was a slave to emails, itineraries, deadlines, and flight schedules. Now I’m in limbo. With most of my presentations postponed or canceled, I’m home. I have time to linger over my morn
Loss, Grief, and Manliness Loss, Grief, and Manliness Loss, Grief, and Manliness Brian Burnham What Every Man Should Know About Losing a Loved One To view Article, please visit The Art of Manliness Web Blog, Loss, Grief, and Manliness: What Every Man Should Know about Losing a Loved One. By Brian Burnham: Brian Burnham holds a Masters of Education in Counseling from the College of William and Mary and currently works as a consultant for Military One Source. He also serves as a member of C Company (Medical) 429t
Saturday Morning Message: How Do You Mark Special Days? Saturday Morning Message: How Do You Mark Special Days? How Do You Mark Special Days? \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good morning, This week we share some of the things we do to mark special days. Sometimes there are days that are just hard, but not just special occasions like an anniversary, birthday, holiday or angelversary. That is when we need to remember those special moments with our loved ones. The opening picture shows Lily, and her father, John, at Dunkin’ Donuts where t
What Kids Want Their Adults to Know about Grief What Kids Want Their Adults to Know about Grief What Kids Want Their Adults to Know about Grief \| TAPS Karissa Kelley Editor’s note: November is National Children’s Grief Awareness Month. Throughout the month, we will feature stories from surviving children, grief professionals and TAPS staff to draw attention to the needs of grieving children, and how best to support them. At the end of a TAPS Good Grief Camp or Family Camp, Youth Programs staff asks each child to complete a brief s
Saturday Morning Message: Thankful for TAPS Saturday Morning Message: Thankful for TAPS Saturday Morning Message: Thankful for TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, Because it is Thanksgiving weekend, this Saturday Morning Message features a list of resources TAPS provides that I am thankful for as a survivor. Since a list of all the programs would make this message too long, I've only included some of the programs, but you can learn about all TAPS programs at http://www.taps.org. The picture today is from the TAPS website showing a surviv
Professional and personal grief education at conference Professional — and personal — grief education at conference Professional and personal grief education at conference \| TAPS Karissa Kelley Once a year, the “giants” in the field of thanatology gather in one place for a whirlwind experience of education, networking and collaboration. Last week, I had the honor of representing TAPS at the 41st ADEC Conference in Atlanta, Georgia. The Association for Death Education and Counseling is the leading organization in thanatology, the study of death. AD
Create Your Own Finish Line Create Your Own Finish Line Create Your Own Finish Line Carol Bazemore Local Race Events Commemorate the Fallen Team TAPS has been leading runners along race courses from Washington, D.C., to Anchorage, Alaska, for 15 years, building charity partner relationships with established races to create awareness of the TAPS mission and honor our fallen heroes. In addition, Team TAPS is focused on helping survivors create their own endurance activities that honor their loved ones in their hometowns
Vacationing Military Widow Finds Comfort and Therapy in Vacationing Therapeutic Effect of Vacations for Military Widows - TAPS News Sarah Greene I have felt the pull to visit places and take vacations that my husband talked about but never got the chance to visit. I want to visit these places for several reasons: to honor him, feel close to him, fulfill his vision of seeing the parts of the world, and see the world for myself. Alaska was highest on his destination wish list, so that will be a must. We us
Books to Help Your Child Books to Help Your Child Books to Help Your Child Andrea Hug When your child faces the death of a loved one, his or her primary support system is profoundly impacted. Your family must find new ways to communicate as you all move through the loss. Sharing your feelings and experiences is really important, and while a direct conversation is good, you may not get as much information as you’d like. You might get only brief answers without thoughtful consideration about how your child really feels
Our Hearts Are With You — TAPS Natural Disaster Response Our Hearts Are With You — TAPS Natural Disaster Response Our Hearts Are With You — TAPS Natural Disaster Response TAPS This article was first published on the TAPS website on September 16, 2020 and has been updated periodically for the latest information regarding personal insurance and FEMA guidance after experiencing a natural disaster. ARE YOU READY? COMMUNICATION IS KEY PREPARE FOR DISASTER BUILD A KIT REPORT, RECOVER AND REBUILD LOOK FOR THE HELPERS FEDERAL RESOURCES TO PREPARE
Saturday Morning Message: Honoring Our Loved Ones Saturday Morning Message: Honoring Our Loved Ones Saturday Morning Message: Honoring Our Loved Ones Carol Lane Good Morning, This is a time many come together with friends and family to share holiday recipes and memories. For many survivors, it can also be a time of sadness. Contemplating what you might do to pay tribute to your loved one might can ease those feelings. Honoring your loved one can be on a traditional holiday or one that is special just to your family and friends. This week s
TAPS marks 25 years of service in 2019 TAPS marks 25 years of service in 2019 TAPS marks 25 years of service in 2019 TAPS Each Friday, please visit our blog and join us as we take a look back at stories, people and events that have shaped who we are today. We are a family of survivors honoring our selfless heroes who paid the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom. We are grieving parents, spouses, children, siblings, grandparents, fiancées, battle buddies and loved ones. We are hope. We are strength. We are TAPS. This year, TAP
Traumatic Grief in Military Children Traumatic Grief in Military Children Traumatic Grief in Military Children TAPS Traumatic Grief in Military Children: Information for Families To read the complete article, visit www.NCTSN.org and click on Military Children & Families. National Child Traumatic Stress Network. (2008). Traumatic Grief in Military Children: Information for Families. Los Angeles, CA & Durham, NC: National Center for Child Traumatic Stress. By the National Child Traumatic Stress Network military child
Saturday Morning Message: New Traditions Saturday Morning Message: New Traditions Saturday Morning Message: New Traditions Carol Lane Good Morning, The picture this morning is of an arrangement made by my sister-in-law to celebrate the season. I light it every night during the holidays to honor the life of my son, Bryon. When a loved one dies, it can be hard to face the upcoming time and keep the same traditions. To simplify your life, think about the customs you would like to keep and ones you could let go just for this year. You
Beginning a New Memorial Day Tradition with TAPS Beginning a New Memorial Day Tradition with TAPS Beginning a New Memorial Day Tradition with TAPS Allicia Johnson I'm a D.C. girl … well … sort of. I was born at Bethesda Naval Hospital to a D.C.-native dad and transplant-from-Utah mom. My East Coast roots grow deep even though I only spent six months of my life there. Dad was stationed in Pearl Harbor when I was 6 months old and was shot and killed in action when I was 2 years old. From that point on, Utah has been my home. My front door
Saturday Morning Message: Remembering Our Favorite Vacation Spots Saturday Morning Message: Remembering Our Favorite Vacation Spots Remembering Our Favorite Vacation Spots \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, I had never traveled to Washington, D.C. until my son, Bryon, was stationed there. He invited my husband and I down to see him and gave us a tour. I was fascinated. After Bryon’s passing, I learned that TAPS hosts a seminar in Washington, D.C., each year over Memorial Day Weekend, so I decided to attend. When my plane arrived, I w
Anniversary Blues Anniversary Blues Anniversary Blues \| TAPS Betsy Beard Handling the most dreaded day of the year The date is engraved on my heart. The awful day he died. Every year that date comes around again on the calendar, and for lack of anything better, we call it the anniversary of his death. It seems so wrong; anniversaries should be for celebrating a joyous occasion, not for acknowledging a death. But in the six and a half years since Brad’s death, we have never come up with an acceptable alternate
It Was Time It Was Time Tai Prohaska, Surviving Mother of Navy HM3 Nikolas Pono Kaniela Venuti Five years? Five weeks? Five decades? Grief warped my sense of time. My son, HM3 Nikolas Pono Kaniela Venuti, died Oct. 17, 2020. He was 26. Nothing, not even time, was the same anymore. Time was irrelevant, but dates packed their punches — his birthday, his first wedding anniversary, which he didn’t live to celebrate, and the day he died…the day he died. I felt like I was living on the Twilight Zone set.
Saturday Morning Message: What has someone done for you to ease your grief that you'll never forget? Saturday Morning Message: What has someone done for you to ease your grief that you'll never forget? Saturday Morning Message: What has someone done for you to ease your grief that you'll never forget? \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, Supporting families who have experienced the loss of a loved one can be very important as we all know. This week survivors have written about the meaningful gifts others gave them in their grief. TAPS gives survivors many gifts, and this week the Saturday Morn
Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Favorite Foods Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Favorite Foods Sharing Favorite Foods \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, When my son came home on leave, there were two things he liked to eat. One meal was pancakes at a local pancake place and the other was pizza also from a store in our hometown; so, I chose a picture of a cheesy pizza as the opening picture this week. When friends or loved ones gather, often there is a sharing of food. That seems to make it easier for many people
Saturday Morning Message: Favorite Hometown Places Saturday Morning Message: Favorite Hometown Places Saturday Morning Message: Favorite Hometown Places \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, There are many wonderful places to visit in our country. TAPS helps us see some of those places when we think about going to the various retreats, seminars, and other experiences with a group of survivors. To find out more, go to the events section of the TAPS website. This week the responders proudly wrote about the great locations in their hometowns that pe
Photos: Camp Texas Texas Family Camp Texas Family Camp Photos \| TAPS TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (89 photos) photos, military survivor, family camp Flickr Album Event Photos: TAPS surviving families learn to grieve as a family with new tools for the path ahead at Morgan’s Place in San Antonio, Texas on December 5 to 8, 2024.
Baby, It's Cold Out Here Baby, It's Cold Out Here Baby, It's Cold Out Here Linda Ambard Baby, it's cold out there. Loneliness creeps up on a person. In unexpected traumatic death, there is no preparing for being alone. Phil died in the prime of his life. He had finally realized many of his dreams coming true and felt the need to give back. I didn't think he was in danger; he had deployed numerous times in 26 years of service and I worried more when he was living on a compound in South America fighting the drug w
5 Ways to Create Memories with Your Loved One Who Died 5 Ways to Create Memories with Your Loved One Who Died 5 Ways to Create Memories with Your Loved One Who Died Allicia Johnson One of the most painful parts of grief is facing a string of tomorrows without your loved one. Whether you lost the love of your life last month or were in utero when your dad was killed, your older brother lost his battle with depression or post-traumatic stress three years ago or your mother slipped quietly away while in hospice care, the past is all you have with th
Staying in Touch - Real Touch Staying in Touch - Real Touch Staying in Touch - Real Touch \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt The COVID-19 pandemic has millions of people the world over realizing they are touch deprived. Even people who haven’t considered themselves huggy, touchy people in the past are now expressing awareness that they need the physical proximity and touch of other human beings to feel well, especially during times of uncertainty and anxiety. As someone grieving the death of a loved one, you may have found yourself pa
Hands Over Hearts: U.S. Olympians Honor Fallen Heroes Hands Over Hearts: U.S. Olympians Honor Fallen Heroes Hands Over Hearts: U.S. Olympians Honor Fallen Heroes Diana Hosford Right hand on heart place. We hear the first note of the National Anthem, direct our gaze to the Stars and Stripes and, for a moment, we silently and proudly honor our country. With our right hand on heart place. Holding close the memory of what we honor and celebrate. It's what we do. When the American flag is raised high in honor of a competition won, it marks a dr
A Gathering of Men A Gathering of Men A Gathering of Men \| TAPS Gabriel Rao Calmness, Camaraderie, and Clarity in Yosemite Sitting near a rolling stream surrounded by the breathtaking wonders of nature, I witness the power of water against rock — moving, reshaping. What a blessing to have this time to become fully aware of my surroundings and myself. Just like a current reshapes stone, the power of a man sharing openly and honestly has the power to change the world around him. There is a beauty that takes sha
Books for the Holidays 2014 Books for the Holidays 2014 Books for the Holidays 2014 Betsy Beard The winter holidays, with their emphasis on miracles and gifts, are difficult for those who grieve. While the hearts of others are lifted in merriment, our hearts seem to grow heavier with thoughts of our loved one and the gaping hole they left in our lives. Here are some books that can help fill the void and bring extra support at this time of year. Thoughts for the Holidays, By Doug Manning As a counselor
Photos: 2nd Annual TAPS Gold Star Families Advocacy Week Event 2nd Annual TAPS Gold Star Families Advocacy Week 2nd Annual TAPS Gold Star Families Advocacy Week Event TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (221 photos) See also photos from the Congressional Reception Love Lives On Act, Caring for Survivors Act, photos, capitol hill Photos: 2nd Annual TAPS Gold Star Families Advocacy Week Event Flickr Album Event Photos: Surviving spouse advocate to end
Handling the Holidays Handling the Holidays Handling the Holidays Darcie Sims The holidays are coming and I’m not ready. Everything seems to sparkle and there is always so much to do! It is a festive time, filled with joyous occasions and family gatherings. But when your family circle has been broken by death, holidays and special days may only serve to remind you of the empty space at the table, the hole in your heart. I am not sure if I will ever again be ready for the holidays. The world has simply gone mad
Coping with Grief and Trauma and Loss: Home Base Reflections of Gratitude and Growth Coping with Grief and Trauma and Loss: Home Base Reflections of Gratitude and Growth Coping with Grief and Trauma and Loss: Home Base Reflections of Gratitude and Growth \| TAPS Katie Langer Carla Stumpf Patton Introduction by Dr. Carla Stumpf Patton, TAPS Senior Director of Postvention Programs At TAPS, we are privileged to witness the healing that so often comes with connections to our supportive resources, programming, and services. The postvention support offered by TAPS, especially, is
Spotlight on Service: John Rhoten Spotlight on Service: John Rhoten Spotlight on Service: John Rhoten TAPS Volunteer (noun): 1.a person who chooses to join the military; 2. a person who does work without getting paid to do it. Although these two definitions from Merriam-Webster may not define every TAPS volunteer, they certainly define 2nd Lieutenant John Rhoten, as he serves our nation’s Armed Forces and TAPS. John, a native of Stafford, Virginia, enlisted in the U.S. Army in October of 2002. Since that time, he h
Saturday Morning Message: Thankful Thoughts and Holiday Tips Saturday Morning Message: Thankful Thoughts and Holiday Tips Saturday Morning Message: Thankful Thoughts and Holiday Tips Carol Lane Good Morning, As 2016 comes to a close, it is time for many of us to look at where we are now on our grief journey and what has helped us. This week, survivors have shared what they are thankful for in their own lives, and TAPS has pulled together resources on the TAPS website to assist survivors during this time from Thanksgiving to New Year's Day. You can re
Saturday Morning Message: To Continue Traditions or Not? Saturday Morning Message: To Continue Traditions or Not? To Continue Traditions or Not? \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, Sometimes it is comforting to go to a place that was special to you and your loved one. This is a photo of Lake Tahoe sent by a survivor, Debbie, spouse of Tom, for inclusion in an earlier Saturday Morning Message. She wrote, “Lake Tahoe will always be my happy place and its magic holds the most incredible memories of joy, happiness and true love th
When You Can’t Hold a Service Right Away When You Can’t Hold a Service Right Away When You Can’t Hold a Service Right Away \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt Tips for Planning a Future Ceremony and Following Through The challenges of the COVID-19 pandemic have affected grieving people in many difficult ways. At a time when you needed extra support from friends and family, you may have been separated from them altogether. You may have struggled even more to rebuild meaning and purpose in your life, if your options for exploring and connecting we
Resource Center: TAPS Casework Assistance Resource Center: TAPS Casework Assistance Resource Center: TAPS Casework Assistance Glenn Gray Help is Here When You Need It As those who have come in touch with TAPS soon learn, one of our primary missions is to provide support and guidance to our survivor families, helping to overcome the emotional hurdles of military loss and identifying solutions that allow you to focus on celebrating the life of your loved one. TAPS also recognizes that there are always points in your journey—wh
Why Rituals Help Us Mourn…and Heal Why Rituals Help Us Mourn…and Heal Why Rituals Help Us Mourn…and Heal \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt I often say that when words are inadequate, we should turn to ritual. Nowhere is this more true or important than after someone we love has died. In this article, I will explain why rituals are essential and how you can continue to use the power of ritual to help yourself and your family heal, even long after the death and funeral. What is a ritual? Rituals are symbolic activities that help us, toget
Saturday Morning Message: Holiday Adjustments Saturday Morning Message: Holiday Adjustments Saturday Morning Message: Holiday Adjustments Carol Lane Good Morning, The holiday season officially starts with Halloween, so today's picture is from my yard with the leaves turning color. Many people have a hard time with the holidays that occur in December. Today survivors shared what they have done to help them go through this season. In addition, you might want to read an article written by Darcie D. Sims, Ph.D, CHT, CT, GMS in a past TAPS m
Video: 2024 President’s Award for Lifetime Achievement Video: 2024 President’s Award for Lifetime Achievement Video: 2024 President’s Award for Lifetime Achievement \| TAPS TAPS Media On November 13, the 14th Annual Lee Anderson Hiring Our Heroes Awards Gala, presented by Booz Allen Hamilton, celebrated the remarkable achievements of the individuals and organizations whose dedication to the military community has transformed countless lives. Bonnie Carroll, founder of the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS), was honored with the Presid
Christmas Without Chris Christmas Without Chris Christmas Without Chris \| TAPS Ami Neiberger-Miller My brother, Army Specialist Christopher Neiberger, was killed in action in Iraq in 2007 at age 22. The last time we saw him was at Christmastime when he came home from Iraq on leave eight years ago. All of the last photos of our family together and the last times we spent together were at the holidays. Photo coutesy of Dr. Richard Neiberger After his death, the holidays became very painful. We were always the kind o
Saturday Morning Message: Marking Special Days Saturday Morning Message: Marking Special Days Saturday Morning Message: Marking Special Days \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, As the November and December holidays come along, I thought I would share this article from the fall TAPS Magazine that made me think of the family we have become. In the article, "The Critical Importance of Seeking Support", the author, Alan Wolfelt, lists his observations of Canadian geese as they fly many miles to their winter destination. Then he relates his thoug
The Power of Sports The Power of Sports The Power of Sports \| TAPS August Cabrera Angela Cabrera Beyond the Final Score August Cabrera, surviving spouse and mother to Max and Roanin Texas A&M is a huge deal in the Cabrera family. Not only did our hero, Dave, graduate from there in 1992, but a sister, brother, and now nephew are all Aggies. Dave and his first wife, Angela, were college sweethearts and now their two kids, Corbin and Gillian, both attend A&M. So when team4taps called to offer our family, our
Saturday Morning Message: Places That Touch Our Hearts Saturday Morning Message: Places That Touch Our Hearts Saturday Morning Message: Places That Touch Our Hearts \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, When contemplating going to a certain place after the loss of our loved ones, we put a great deal of thought into the decision. Although it is not possible to know what this young survivor in the photo is thinking, I thought it really fit today’s topic. The varied answers this week show how survivors handle going to places that may make them feel
Is Winter Paradise in Disguise? Is Winter Paradise in Disguise? Is Winter Paradise in Disguise? Darcie Sims There ought to be a law! There ought to be a law against snow and ice and winter. There ought to be a law against snow drifting across the back door and one against ice forming on the sidewalks after I've shoveled. There ought to be a law against 40 below and frozen peas (they have nothing to do with winter, but there should be a law against peas anyway). There should be laws to protect the average citizen fro
Yoga was my survival raft 'Yoga was my survival raft' Yoga was my survival raft \| TAPS Rayanne Hunter For many years now my family’s Memorial Day Weekends have looked quite different from the collective norm. Every year we look forward to gathering in Washington, D.C. for the TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar with a new family I never expected to be a part of—our Gold Star Family. These fellow surviving families are learning to thrive under a new normal without their military loved one. My husband, Staff Sgt. We
Klinger's Korner: Controlling What You Can - Attitude Klinger's Korner: Controlling What You Can - Attitude Klinger's Korner: Controlling What You Can - Attitude \| TAPS Andy McNiel The fall season brings with it several transitions each year. Most of us see a change in the weather, temperature, and natural environment. Many will experience the change of colors as the leaves burst with orange, red, and brown. Others may have a slight shift from the heat of summer to more moderate temperatures of fall. Children and teenagers transition back into a
Marriage and Death - A Semper Fi Story Marriage and Death - A Semper Fi Story Marriage and Death - A Semper Fi Story Bob Bagosy The week of August 9th started out great with the marriage of my youngest son David to Janica in the Adirondack Mountains of New York. The day was perfect with blue skies, no rain and low temperatures. The wedding took place on Oak Mountain. A lift carried us to the top where sixty people welcomed the bride and groom. My Bagosy family attended and consisted of my wife Iris, myself, my daughters Stacy and
Vacations, Who Needs ‘Em? Vacations, Who Needs ‘Em? Vacations, Who Needs ‘Em? Betsy Beard When our son died, there were so many details and arrangements vying for attention I couldn’t begin to comprehend all the changes that would follow. At some point in the next year or so, one of those changes surfaced: the way I felt about, planned for, and took vacations. Many survivors have found vacationing to be problematic, so as we head into the warmer months let’s give some thought to the who, what, when, where, why, and ho
The Critical Importance of Seeking Support The Critical Importance of Seeking Support The Critical Importance of Seeking Support \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt Learning from the Geese If there is ever a time in life when we need others to support and nurture us, it’s when someone we love dies. In many ways, grief work is the most difficult work we will ever do. And hard work is less burdensome when others lend a hand. Sharing the devastation that results from the death of someone precious won’t make the hurt go away, but it does make it more b
Re-Creating Holiday Traditions Re-Creating Holiday Traditions Re-Creating Holiday Traditions \| TAPS Tina Barrett Ideas for Families Facing Very Different Holidays Holidays can be stressful, even during the best of times. For families grieving a loved one, significant dates hold even more emotional intensity and complexity. Reminders of the season — lights, music, decorations, and gift-giving — may seem out of sync with internal feelings or may trigger painful memories for families facing a very different holiday.
Children’s Bereavement and Emotional Wellness, Part 2 Children’s Bereavement and Emotional Wellness, Part 2 Children’s Bereavement and Emotional Wellness, Part 2 Andrea Hug As grieving parents, we are concerned about the care and support we are able to offer our grieving children. How can we help children bounce back when they have experienced a profound loss or trauma? How do we offer good bereavement support for children? How do we help others to help our children? Consider the following topics in light of your child’s loss. Go through the bul
Excerpt from “Healing Your Grieving Heart After a Military Death” Excerpt from “Healing Your Grieving Heart After a Military Death” Healing Your Grieving Heart Excerpt - TAPS Publication Bonnie Carroll Alan Wolfelt Healing Your Grieving Heart Visit the great outdoors For many people, it is restorative and energizing to spend time outside. You may find nature’s timeless beauty healing. The sound of a bird singing or the awesome presence of an old tree can help put things in perspective. Rediscover what it feels like to walk barefoot in the grass or the san
The Spiritual Path to Healing, Part 2 The Spiritual Path to Healing, Part 2 The Spiritual Path to Healing, Part 2 Alan Wolfelt Editor’s Note: The death of a loved one challenges us in many areas including our religious and spiritual beliefs. While spirituality and religious tradition help many who are grieving, TAPS does not endorse any one spiritual belief or religion over another. This magazine may well be in your hands because someone you love has died. I am so very sorry for your loss. You have been “torn apart” and have s
Video: Memorial Day and Every Day - Love Lives On Video: Memorial Day and Every Day - Love Lives On Video: Memorial Day and Every Day - Love Lives On \| TAPS TAPS Media View our tribute to all those who have served, for all those whose names now reside in stone - you are forever in our hearts and we remember you. Visit us at taps.org/loveliveson Select image below to play. memorial day tribute, love lives on music, taps survivors, military fallen View our tribute to all those who have served, for all those whose names now reside in
Saturday Morning Message: Support from Loved Ones Saturday Morning Message: Support from Loved Ones Saturday Morning Message: Support from Loved One Carol Lane Good Morning, The picture today comes from the TAPS Magazine archives. Although our loved one's friends don't just include battle buddies, the article "Team TAPS: Battle Buddies" shares how some have honored their fallen comrades. Today's replies include many different ways our loved one's friends have helped survivors. Would you like to share a question or read how other survivo
Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Remembrances Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Remembrances Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Remembrances \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, The picture came from the article "Out of Tragedy," written by Bonnie Carroll, surviving spouse of Brigadier Gen. Tom Carroll and founder of the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors that describes how this organization came to be. I thought it would be a good article to share in the Memorial Day edition of the Saturday Morning Message. On Memorial Day
Klinger's Korner: A Season for Presence Klinger's Korner: A Season for Presence Klinger's Korner: A Season for Presence \| TAPS Andy McNiel The holiday season brings families and friends together, creating opportunities to make and share special memories and create or carry on traditions. But, in the midst of intense grief, the holidays can feel like a burden rather than a blessed time with family and friends. When children are in the home, you may feel the need to maintain positive, festive energy so they can still enjoy this speci
Saturday Morning Message: Practicing Self Care Saturday Morning Message: Practicing Self Care Saturday Morning Message: Practicing Self Care \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, Often while grieving we care for others in our friends/family circle, but it is really important to take a bit of time each day to do something we enjoy. One thing that lifts my spirits is to sit and talk with a friend like these survivors are doing at a TAPS seminar. That is why I like attending TAPS events. There I meet other survivors and form friendships. When I a
Saturday Morning Message: 4th of July Ideas Saturday Morning Message: 4th of July Ideas Saturday Morning Message: 4th of July Ideas \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, The picture this week comes from the TAPS files. I thought it would be perfect for the 4th of July edition of the Saturday Morning Message as it has a very large US flag flown by a balloon with the TAPS inscription showing the strong connection between TAPS and our country. The 4th of July is another one of those holidays that can bring different emotions to various peopl
7 Random Acts of Kindness to Celebrate a Life Well Lived 7 Random Acts of Kindness to Celebrate a Life Well Lived 7 Random Acts of Kindness to Celebrate a Life Well Lived P. Ann Brothers We perform random acts of kindness on a regular basis without giving it much thought. This week, my son Army Maj. Steven Brothers would have celebrated his 41st birthday. In his honor, our family wanted to have at least 41 random acts of kindness completed to celebrate a life well lived. Here are some that touched the hearts of many. I hope they will inspire you
Healing Your Holiday Grief Healing Your Holiday Grief Healing Your Holiday Grief Betsy Beard 100 Practical Ideas for Blending Mourning and Celebration During the Holiday Season The winter holidays, with their emphases on miracles and gifts, are difficult for those of us grieving the death of an important family member or other loved one. While the hearts of others are lifted in celebration and merry-making, our hearts seem to grow heavier with thoughts of our loved one and the gaping hole they left in our lives. Dr
Picking Up the Pieces Picking Up the Pieces Picking Up the Pieces \| TAPS Chris Beck Life after the loss of a loved one can shatter us and bring us to our knees, lost, not knowing what to do next. As the pieces of our lives scatter after a loss, finding a way to put them back together can seem overwhelming. Life’s complexities have many similarities to jigsaw puzzles — you sort and gather pieces, then fit them into your unique picture. I worked 55 years to build my puzzle, adding pieces along the way: my wife,
Run and Remember: My Destiny Run and Remember: My Destiny Run and Remember: My Destiny Xiomara Hall A Journey from Arlington to Arlington I used to think life was an adventure. I had lived through so much in my few years... I experienced loss early in my life when my mother passed, but I still I believed it was the natural order of things: children bury their parents. As I reflect on that period I understand now that it was part of a master plan, one that I did not understand, one I could not control, one that would car
TAPS Young Adults Summit: A Weekend of Hope, Connections and Possibilities TAPS NFL Young Adults Summit: A Weekend of Hope, Connections and Possibilities TAPS NFL Young Adults Summit: A Weekend of Hope, Connections and Possibilities Renee Monczynski In July, forty surviving children and siblings, ages 18 to 30, and at varying stages of their grief journey, came together with their TAPS Family in Atlanta for the TAPS NFL Young Adults Summit. These young adults came from locations across the country - some connecting with TAPS for the first time, and others who have
Grasping the Magnitude of the Sacrifice Grasping the Magnitude of the Sacrifice Grasping the Magnitude of the Sacrifice \| TAPS Angel Munoz My name is Angel Munoz. I am a veteran of the United States Army, and this is my family's story. Along with having the distinct honor of calling myself a veteran, I can also call myself a proud sister of three brothers who also served in the military, and they all served in this war with Iraq. The youngest of the brothers both served in Iraq as Marines and the oldest of the boys, Army Spc. Rober
Yoga Was My Survival Raft: A Journey of Healing Through Teaching Yoga Yoga Was My Survival Raft: A Journey of Healing Through Teaching Yoga Yoga Was My Survival Raft: A Journey of Healing Through Teaching Yoga \| TAPS Rayanne Hunter For many years, my family’s Memorial Day Weekends have looked quite different from the collective norm. We look forward to the TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar every year, where we gather with a family that we never expected to be a part of– our Gold Star Family. My husband, U.S. Army Staff Sergeant Wesley Hunter, died on Sept
Volunteering as an Act of Healing Volunteering as an Act of Healing Volunteering as an Act of Healing \| TAPS Stephanie Frogge “What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal.” ~ Albert Pike Altruism is defined as the practice of being concerned for and acting upon that concern for others without there being any direct benefit to the person engaging in it. For many, volunteering for a worthy cause is one way of practicing altruism even if we don’t nec
Healing Stories Transcend Cultural Boundaries Healing Stories Transcend Cultural Boundaries Healing Stories Transcend Cultural Boundaries Bevin Landrum Not every TAPS survivor is able to attend one of our healing events. Family or health constraints may leave us feeling isolated and alone in our grief. For our families, their TAPS Survivor Care Team contact, our community-based care connections and the TAPS Magazine may be the only regular supports they have. When you add on a parallel cultural grief experience it can feel overwhelming.
Loss to Learning to Leading Loss to Learning to Leading Loss to Learning to Leading \| TAPS Kenneth Naglak Surviving Father Finds Purpose Through TAPS Workshop When my son, Aviation Boatswain's Mate Aircraft Handler Joseph Naglak died in September 2018 during flight operations aboard the aircraft carrier USS George H.W. Bush (CVN 77), just two weeks and a few days after he had gotten engaged, I knew more than anything I needed help. It took some time to be open to the calls from TAPS, but when I did connect, I learned
Saturday Morning Message: The Positive Impact of Peer Mentoring Saturday Morning Message: The Positive Impact of Peer Mentoring The Positive Impact of Peer Mentoring \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, The TAPS Peer Mentor Program offers a companion on our grief journey. We are matched with another survivor who has suffered a similar loss. The opening picture is from the article, "5 Reasons Peer Support Has Helped Me Through My Grief," written by Amanda Klager who is the surviving sister of Army Spc. Adam Klager. In the article, she
Navigating Memorial Day: How a Rookie Volunteer Made a Lasting Impact Navigating Memorial Day: How a Rookie Volunteer Made a Lasting Impact Navigating Memorial Day: How a Rookie Volunteer Made a Lasting Impact Paige Williams Spotlight on Service: Brandi Burke To a newer TAPS staff member, the National Military Survivor Seminar can be intimidating. It’s a complex, fast-paced, weeklong family reunion, and I just joined the family. Beholding this mammoth of an undertaking for the first time was daunting. But I was inspired by Brandi Burke, a first-time TAPS volun
Make the Most of Time at Home: Share Your Loved One’s Story Make the Most of Time at Home: Share Your Loved One’s Story Make the Most of Time at Home: Share Your Loved One’s Story \| TAPS Kerry Ward As we navigate these uncertain times, I have found that there is a silver lining with spending more time in the house: it has forced me to focus on projects I hadn’t yet had time to tackle. As I cleaned out my hall closet, I found myself face-to-face with memories I hadn’t thought about in years. I called an old friend and told her about a specific photo th
Glasgow Gathering 2013 Glasgow Gathering 2013 Glasgow Gathering 2013 Kellie Hazlett Making Memories Across the Ocean “Remember the Love, Share the Heartache, Honour the Fallen However They Fell” ~ Bereaved Families Support Group Joining hands and hearts across the globe to honor and remember the fallen was the essence of the first ever TAPS/BFSG gathering. The Bereaved Families Support Group (BFSG) is a program of Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen and Families’ Association (SSAFA), a United Kingdom nonprofit organizati
Lessons Learned Lessons Learned Lessons Learned Ashlynne Haycock-Lohmann In 2002 I lost my dad while he was training to deploy to Iraq. I was ten years old. College was the last thing on my mind, and it was not high on my mother's priority list either. It was always something I knew I would do, but not something my mother and I really discussed until the end of my junior year of high school after I had taken multiple AP exams, done expensive ACT prep and testing and was now paying ridiculous amounts of mon
Saturday Morning Message: Songs of the Heart Saturday Morning Message: Songs of the Heart Saturday Morning Message: Songs of the Heart Carol Lane Good Morning, Songs are one artistic form that can become special for survivors. This week, members of our TAPS family shared songs that are meaningful to them. I hope you enjoy the responses Do you have a song close to your heart? Share with us here and also visit TAPS Facebook. This message will appear there and you can add your comment and a special song. The question for next week is
Inside the TAPS Good Grief Camp Inside the TAPS Good Grief Camp Inside the TAPS Good Grief Camp Heather Campagna Many people wonder just what takes place within the borders of a TAPS Good Grief Camp…and adult survivors have often said it looks like more fun to be on the kid’s side of our national gathering! Undeniably, the Good Grief Camp involves events that can lighten young hearts, but all of our activities are also specially selected to offer a safe place for each child to “just be” wherever they are in their grief. Tha
TAPS Survivor Newsletter August 2023 TAPS Survivor Newsletter August 2023 TAPS Survivor Newsletter August 2023 TAPS Media Illness-loss survivors: Your family at TAPS and supporters, like toxic exposure advocate Jon Stewart, are urging you to apply for retroactive PACT Act benefits by August 14. This is your chance to qualify for benefits backdated to the PACT Act signing on August 10, 2022 — those funds could be significant. It's time to act. Call our 24/7 Helpline at 800-959-TAPS (8277) or visit TAPS PACT Act Resourses for fili
Working Together in Treating Suicide Loss Trauma Working Together in Treating Suicide Loss Trauma Working Together in Treating Suicide Loss Trauma \| TAPS Jennifer Keeling TAPS and Home Base Survivors dealing with grief may also be coping with trauma, so it helps to understand how this impacts healing. Trauma can be experienced from many life events like accidents, crime, disasters, war, medical emergencies, or violence. Trauma can produce emotional and physical responses as a result of exposure to extreme, unexpected, or horrifying cir
Living the Legacy: Picture the Fallen Living the Legacy: Picture the Fallen Living the Legacy ~ Picture the Fallen Jessica Dumont-Oatman It has recently occurred to me that we—all of us American citizens—are the legacy of our American soldiers. We owe them our lives—lives that must be lived to their fullest potential. And this is the greatest tribute we could possibly give. ~ Annette Bridges, freelance writer from Texas. A picture is worth a thousand words. That’s all I need to say when someone views the photo of my brother’
Saturday Morning Message: Handling Paperwork Saturday Morning Message: Handling Paperwork Saturday Morning Message: Handling Paperwork Carol Lane Good morning, There are two ideas that came to me when I thought about Annette’s question, “What have you done with your loved one’s paperwork?” This picture shows survivors at one of the TAPS seminars, attending a workshop to create pages for a scrapbook about their loved ones. Perhaps each piece of paperwork could be mounted on a page with pictures or drawings pasted around it. Another insp
Once Upon A Time Once Upon A Time Once Upon A Time Linda Ambard People often put off doing the things they want to do because they believe there will be a better time for it. I know that Phil and I put off those couple's only dates and vacations because we thought we had time. In fact, I pushed for a Phil and Linda vacation together before his deployment, but he wanted to wait because it wasn't his top priority. It became the desire of his heart while he was deployed, and we had plans for that magical day t
Military Mentor of the Year: Captain John Rhoten TAPS Military Mentor of the Year: Captain John Rhoten TAPS Military Mentor of the Year: Captain John Rhoten TAPS Walking Alongside the Children of America’s Fallen Heroes John Rhoten, a native of Stafford, Virginia, enlisted in the U.S. Army in 2002. Since that time he has deployed to Iraq twice and Afghanistan twice. John started in the Infantry and is currently a Military Intelligence officer. He is married and has two daughters. Currently, he serves at Schofield Barracks, Hawaii with the
Open Your Heart to Healing: Emotional Engagement in Your Own Life Open Your Heart to Healing: Emotional Engagement in Your Own Life Open Your Heart to Healing: Emotional Engagement in Your Own Life Emily Munoz Have a Walkabout While the term "walkabout" originates in Australian Aboriginal culture as a soul-searching rite of passage, it has found more general usage to describe movement intended to alleviate the feeling of being unsettled, restless, dissatisfied or bored. Having a walkabout means going outside, whether in wilderness, an urban jungle, or yo
Sibling Revelry Sibling Revelry Sibling Revelry Michele Hiester Marcum Co-conspirators. Confidants. Comrades. Alternately friend and foe. Two apples from the very same tree. Two peas tucked in a single pod. That was us, my brother and me… Here’s where I’d like to elaborate on our quiet, idyllic childhood, leisurely painting the words in feathery pastel strokes with a gentle hand. But I can’t. Life at the Hiester house was vibrant and hectic and boisterous and always, always full. Neighborhood kids flocked
Karndean DesignFlooring Raises Money for TAPS Karndean DesignFlooring Raises Money for TAPS Karndean DesignFlooring Raises Money for TAPS TAPS At its 8th annual customer appreciation golf outing, held January 29 at Las Vegas’ Siena Golf Club, Karndean Designflooring and its top partners hit the links and raised a total of $3,300 for the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS). This is the fourth year the event has included a fundraiser to support a veterans service organization. TAPS offers immediate and long-term emotional he
A Visit to Arlington A Visit to Arlington A Visit to Arlington \| TAPS Pamela Henne Walking Among the Familiar My letter began, You don’t know me, but you knew my father when you both served in Europe during World War II. My mother has told me how she hears from you at Christmastime and you always speak fondly of Dad and your days together as soldiers. My father was a great man; gracious, patient and most importantly a hero. Of course he never saw himself this way, but I certainly did. He taught me by his action
Finding Strength Together, on the Trail Finding Strength Together, on the Trail Finding Strength Together, on the Trail \| TAPS Rachel Hunsell The Grand Canyon has a way of changing you. You push through extreme difficulty, foster a community through a common bond, and learn that you are stronger than you believed and capable of doing whatever you set your mind to. On our TAPS Expeditions we truly remember the love, celebrate the life, and share the journey. The small group of survivors who recently trekked nearly 50 miles in
Healing Your Grieving Heart Healing Your Grieving Heart Healing Your Grieving Heart \| TAPS Bonnie Carroll Alan Wolfelt Excerpt from book by Bonnie Carroll and Alan Wolfelt, Ph.D. The TAPS family is always reaching our arms to you. Whether at seminars, retreats, or virtually through our online resources, we understand the need to have the support of an understanding community as we navigate the grief journey. We share our grief, our memories and our daily experiences to build strength and hope. When we cannot be t
Finding Joy in the Midst of Despair Finding Joy in the Midst of Despair Finding Joy in the Midst of Despair Darcie Sims The value of humor in grief resolution is sometimes hard to see, especially in the early weeks, months and even years of grief. Yet, without a sense of humor, the world would be a dark, dreary, and unforgiving place. A sense of humor is a valuable tool for coping with grief. Although your sense of humor may appear to have been deleted from your being, if you can allow it to return (even just a little) th
The Love Languages of Grief The Love Languages of Grief The Love Languages of Grief \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt When it comes to mourning and how others can best help us, there’s no one right way. Every person and every loss is unique. The people we grieve the loss of — as well as the circumstances of the loss — are also one-of-a-kind. After a significant loss, what we think and feel inside, in what ways we’re able to express those thoughts and feelings and how we feel supported by others vary from person to person and loss to
Saturday Morning Message: Life Changes Saturday Morning Message: Life Changes Saturday Morning Message: Life Changes \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, The picture this week is of TAPS volunteers working on sending out information to survivors. I thought it would be a good picture since so many of the responders talked about volunteer work they are doing. As for me, joining the TAPS organization as a Peer Mentor was a turning point. From there, the idea of starting the weekly Saturday Morning Message came. When I started working pa
Saturday Morning Message: Special Places Shared with Loved Ones Saturday Morning Message: Special Places Shared with Loved Ones Saturday Morning Message: Special Places Shared with Loved Ones Carol Lane Good Morning, Survivors wrote this week about special places they shared with their loved ones. Several people talked about going to a particular location on the day such as a birthday when they celebrate the life of their loved one. Let us share ideas of what we have done or plan to do to commemorate that particular day, so the question for next week is:
Companioning as a Reflection of Love Companioning as a Reflection of Love Companioning as a Reflection of Love Alan Wolfelt To experience and embrace the pain of loss is just as much a part of life as to experience the joy of love. As they should be, thoughts, feelings and behaviors that result from the death of a person who has been loved are impossible to ignore. The experience of grief is very powerful. As we encounter personal loss in our lives, we have the opportunity to make a willful choice of how we are going to use the
Comfort Zones Comfort Zones Comfort Zones Shanette Booker I was never the one to "go out on a limb", or the one who "took a chance", or the "throw caution to the wind" type. I was a girl with a semi-low self-esteem who smiled because she knew some day the world would become a better place for her. I had my own comfort zone with clothing, friends, work, and even with excitement. I would hang out with the same bunch of people, never really letting too many "newbies" get attached or get to know me. I went
Video: TAPS Launches Grief Resources for the American Public Video: TAPS President and founder Bonnie Carroll unveils new resources for the American Public on CNN Video: TAPS Launches Grief Resources for the American Public \| TAPS CNN TAPS President and founder Bonnie Carroll speaks with CNN's Brianna Keilar to announce the launch of a new resource page to assist the American public in the wake of COVID-19. Visit at taps.org/covid/together. Select image below to play. bereaved, first responders, health care workers, coronavirus grief TAPS Pre
Coping with Guilt Coping with Guilt Coping with Guilt Michele Hiester Marcum We are coming up on the ten-year anniversary of my brother's death, and I simply cannot believe it's been that long. Seriously, where did the time go? And who the heck am I now? A decade of rolling emotions have reshaped me into someone else…and I haven't yet decided whether I like her. I remember learning in my college psychology classes that there were only six basic emotions in the human population: anger, disgust, sadness, fear,
20 Years of TEAM TAPS 20 Years of TEAM TAPS 20 Years of TEAM TAPS \| TAPS TAPS Conquering the Distance – Honoring our Heroes This could be a simple story of individuals who love to run, lacing up their sneakers and pounding the pavement in pursuit of a personal best time, wanting another finisher’s medal to add to their collection or channeling their energy into physical activity. This could be a simple story. Yet this twenty-year journey is a story filled with passion, determination, reverence, love and a happ
Colorado Celebrity Classic 2014 Colorado Celebrity Classic 2014 Colorado Celebrity Classic 2014 Christine Burtt A Successful Formula Toward Healing A wonderful healing occurs when people gather to celebrate life. It’s a soothing balm for survivors to feel respect for their lost loved ones, and it’s an opportunity for neighbors to show their gratitude for the profound sacrifices made on their behalf. Lynne and Bo Cottrell, directors of the Colorado Celebrity Classic to benefit TAPS, have found a successful formula toward
A Comforting Companion for the Journey A Comforting Companion for the Journey A Comforting Companion for the Journey \| TAPS Rachelle Ellis Sue Quackenbush TAPS Peer Mentor Program - Sharing Strength and Hope From Rachelle Ellis… Photo courtesy of Rachelle Ellis. I will never forget March 26, 2019. I received the news that my son, Jarrett, had passed away. Jarrett was such an amazing young man. He was loving, caring, funny, and compassionate. He had so much going for him and I just couldn't believe it. I was in shock.
Saturday Morning Message: What Do Others Do About Vactions Saturday Morning Message: What Do Others Do About Vactions Saturday Morning Message: What Do Others Do About Vactions Carol Lane Good Morning, Everyone's idea of a vacation is different. Mine involves either visiting relatives or going to the ocean beach. The place we go for our ocean retreat has changed. I haven't been back to the place we took our son and daughter when they were younger. However, this is a picture of a new place that was chosen by our daughter. We have added her husband t
Book Shelf: Healing a Grandparent’s Grieving Heart Book Shelf: Healing a Grandparent’s Grieving Heart Book Shelf: Healing a Grandparent’s Grieving Heart Carol Flack A grandparent's loss packs a double whammy. There is grief for your grandchild who died and grief for your child's devastating loss. But there's also the feeling that you must try to be strong for the sake of your child who is grieving. Healing a Grandparent's Grieving Heart by Alan Wolfelt is a book that addresses the special concerns of grandparents in the aftermath of their los
Healing After Suicide Healing After Suicide Healing After Suicide Carla Stumpf Patton For those of us who have lost and mourn a loved one after a suicide, we all are tragically familiar with the, almost universal, feelings associated with suicide-related grief: the if onlys, the would haves, the could haves, the should haves, and of course, the endless, echoing, and unanswerable questions of “WHY…?” In the beginning, these thoughts and feelings can feel all consuming, and we wonder how and when we will ever sur
Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Book Thoughts Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Book Thoughts Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Book Thoughts \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, The topic this week came from reading the article in the latest TAPS Magazine and on the TAPS blog about five books written by survivors. This got me thinking about writing a book to honor our loved ones and that became the subject for this week’s message. Some of the contributions are about books that have already been written or how the love of books was shared, w
Responding to Teen Grief Responding to Teen Grief Responding to Teen Grief Linda Goldman Teen years can be turbulent ones under the best of circumstances, and the addition of the death of a parent, friend, sibling, or peer can be unsettling even for the most well adjusted adolescent. Common grief symptoms, such as intense mood swings, can become very frightening and unpredictable. Kevin was enraged when he heard the doctor say calmly that his friend Tony was dead. "Why couldn’t you save him?" he screamed, as he pound
The Story Behind the Wheel of Aaron’s Car The Story Behind the Wheel of Aaron’s Car The Story Behind the Wheel of Aaron’s Car \| TAPS Jim Gennock My son, SPC Aaron J. Rathmann, U.S. Army 82nd Airborne, was stationed at Fort Liberty, North Carolina when he was taken from us in a motorcycle accident. Aaron had video-chatted me the day of his passing from a local car show to show me a truck he knew I would love. Moments after hanging up from that chat, Aaron was gone. Aaron grew up watching my friends and me build custom vehicles and h
To Your Health To Your Health To Your Health LaRita Archibald Self Care "Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin as self neglecting." ~ William Shakespeare, Henry V Grieving is very hard work. It depletes energy and robs one of rest, of joy, and of the wish to care properly for oneself. For a time, most bereaved don't care whether they reestablish routine or restore structure in their lives. Some may not care about maintaining their health. Each is obsessed with the death and the loss that has occ
Caregiver to Survivor (C2S) Partnership Executive Summary 2023 Caregiver to Survivor (C2S) Partnership Executive Summary 2023 Caregiver to Survivor (C2S) Partnership Executive Summary \| TAPS TAPS Red Cross Military and Veteran Caregiver Network Elizabeth Dole Foundation For more information, visit the Caregiver to Survivor page. Full Screen Download PDF Donate NOw To Impact Our Grieving Military Families //
Caregiver to Survivor (C2S) Partnership Report 2023 Caregiver to Survivor (C2S) Partnership Report 2023 Caregiver to Survivor (C2S) Partnership Report \| TAPS TAPS Red Cross Military and Veteran Caregiver Network Elizabeth Dole Foundation For more information, visit the Caregiver to Survivor page. Full Screen Download PDF Donate NOw To Impact Our Grieving Military Families //
TAPS Families Enjoy Cookies and Cocoa with Santa TAPS Families Enjoy Cookies and Cocoa with Santa TAPS Families Enjoy Cookies & Cocoa with Santa \| TAPS TAPS For the second year in a row, TAPS families in the Colorado Springs area were able to attend an evening of cheer and holiday spirit thanks to generous supporters. The Mike Boyle Show and Greiner Electric teamed up with 710KNUS-1460KZNT for a holiday toy drive and then hosted a Cookies and Cocoa night at the Cheyenne Mountain Resort. The heartwarming holiday event was a chance for the
Saturday Morning Message: Move or Stay Saturday Morning Message: Move or Stay Saturday Morning Message: Move or Stay Carol Lane Good Morning, The picture today comes from Allicia, daughter of Burr, who sent it for use in the Saturday Morning Message. It seemed like a good photo to share as it shows a road and some beautiful mountains in Utah. Whether you have decided to stay in your home or move, driving down a road and looking at the scenery can be a relaxing thing to do. This week, there were many replies to the question from
Saturday Morning Message: Dream Retreats Saturday Morning Message: Dream Retreats Saturday Morning Message: Dream Retreats Carol Lane Good morning, The question this week asked where would you like to go if money were not a problem. I have a love for music, so going somewhere to hear good music and perhaps do a bit of dancing would be a treat for me. This picture came from a TAPS event called the Colorado Celebrity Classic Songwriters Show which happened in 2015. It featured country music, but I like all music and would go anywhere
Saturday Morning Message: Take Good Care Saturday Morning Message: Take Good Care Saturday Morning Message: Take Good Care \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, This is the first Saturday Morning Message for 2019, so it seemed appropriate to put a picture of a clock counting down to the new year. In an article written by Betsy Beard titled "A Year Without My Loved One In It," she lists 10 resolutions that might be appropriate for a grieving person. This week survivors shared what they are going to do to take care of themselves in the new
Taking Action Taking Action Taking Action Alice Daniel Finding meaning in involvement…again After this article was written, Congress passed bipartisan legislation and presented it to the President on January 1, 2013. Included in the legislation is a provision to establish an Open Burn Pit Registry at the VA. 10:45 p.m. The house is quiet; all are sleeping but me. Austin’s been dead for more than three years now. Some things are better. I’m cooking again. We’ve recently moved from our family home of
Saturday Morning Message: Items Our Loved Ones Left Us Saturday Morning Message: Items Our Loved Ones Left Us Items Our Loved Ones Left Us \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, A recent conversation with JoAnne, mother of Brandon, serves as the inspiration for this week’s Saturday Morning Message topic. She spoke to me about her son's love of trains, so I decided to use the photo she sent of her son with his beloved train bell as the opening image. You will read more about Brandon in the survivor response below. In t
3 Ceremonies to Heal Your Grieving Heart 3 Ceremonies to Heal Your Grieving Heart 3 Ceremonies to Heal Your Grieving Heart \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt When a death is sudden and unexpected, as is typically the case with a military death, it's that much more difficult. Immediately after the death, those affected by traumatic loss typically exhibit psychic numbing. They're present physically, but not necessarily mentally or emotionally. In other words, they're in shock. This protective mechanism is nature's way of protecting them from experi
My Father’s Voice My Father’s Voice My Father’s Voice Lois La Pointe Kiely I never heard my father’s voice. There were photographs of him, and I know his handwriting from letters he wrote to my mother. But I always wondered how he sounded. Did his voice reflect the French Canadian dialect of his parents? Or did it have a masculine North Jersey sound to it? Was he soft spoken or a deep baritone? He died in World War II when I was just an infant, and I will never know. Louis La Pointe, my father, enlisted twic
Memorial Day: A National Debt, A Personal Price Memorial Day: A National Debt, A Personal Price Memorial Day: A National Debt, A Personal Price \| TAPS Emily Munoz Memorial Day was a first step toward national unity in a deeply divided country. With origins in the aftermath of the Civil War, it was designated for the purpose of “strewing with flowers, or otherwise decorating the graves of comrades who died in defense of their country during the late rebellion, and whose bodies now lie in almost every city, village and hamlet church-yard in
Nutrition and Stress Nutrition and Stress Nutrition and Stress Ruth Crocker Finding Strength for Your Grieving Body Visit www.ruthwcrocker.com for more thoughts on nourishment, nutrition, writing, resilience, and mindfulness. Naomi appeared lean and fit, although a bit pale, when she arrived at her appointment in the Nutrition Clinic at Massachusetts General Hospital. At first glance, before taking her history, I thought she might be a long-distance runner, an ice skater, or a gymnast. I had counseled many e
After Grief: The Process of Healing After Grief: The Process of Healing After Grief: The Process of Healing Howard Winokuer Benjamin Franklin wrote, "only two things in life are certain, death and taxes." Death is something that affects us all. No one is immune. Death is sometimes expected, sometimes unexpected. It happens to parents, grand-parents, friends, relatives, pets, and others. Death often takes away something that is very precious to us and leaves pain and grief in its wake. The pain that is associated with grief can
Video: TAPS Military Mentor of the Year Award Video: TAPS Military Mentor of the Year Award TAPS Military Mentor of the Year Award \| TAPS News TAPS Media This year's award was presented at the TAPS Honor Guard Gala in Washington D.C. on April 27, 2022 to Technical Sergeant Clynton Trewyn, United States Air Force. Listen to his acceptance speech. Visit TAPS Military Mentor of the Year page to learn more about this award. Visit Volunteer as a Legacy or Military Mentor page for more information on mentoring surviving children with TAPS. S
Video: TAPS Senator Ted Stevens Leadership Award Video: TAPS Senator Ted Stevens Leadership Award TAPS Senator Ted Stevens Leadership Award \| TAPS News TAPS Media This year's award was presented at the TAPS Honor Guard Gala in Washington D.C. on April 27, 2022 to Matt Daud, Surviving father of Corporal Christopher Daud, United States Marine Corps. Listen to his acceptance speech. Visit TAPS Senator Ted Stevens Leadership Award to learn more about this award. Visit Volunteer with TAPS page for more information on getting involved with TAPS.
Washington Capitals Launch Courage Caps, Host Skating Party for TAPS Families Washington Capitals Launch Courage Caps, Host Skating Party for TAPS Families Washington Capitals Launch Courage Caps, Host Skating Party for TAPS Families TAPS Washington Capitals American-born players John Carlson, Connor Carrick and Jack Hillen hosted more than 120 children and adults assisted by Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) for a skating party at Kettler Capitals Iceplex on Monday, Feb. 3. The event kicked off the 2013-14 Courage Caps campaign sponsored by Telos Co
Gaining Strength on the Journey Gaining Strength on the Journey Survivor Father Finds Hope at TAPS Seminar - TAPS News Andy Weiss Remembering, Celebrating, and Sharing with TAPS My family attended the 19th Annual TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar last May. It was an inspiring weekend with our fellow travelers in loss. I marvel at how far this river has swept me downstream from where I first fell in, drowning in my grief. How far I’ve gone and how changed I am! I lost my son, Army First Lieutenant Danny Weiss, on M
Mother and Son, A Life and Legacy Together Mother and Son, A Life and Legacy Together Mother and Son, A Life and Legacy Together Lisa Hudson Reflections of a 26 year journey In October 1983, Navy Lieutenant John Hudson was packing to return from a deployment to Beirut, Lebanon, where he was serving as a medical officer and surgeon to 1,800 Marines. Waiting at home was Lisa, his wife of three years, and their 8-month-old son Will. Lisa adored John and felt she was living in a fairy tale. John, a graduate of the Medical College of
Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Activities Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Activities Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Activities Carol Lane Good Morning, This picture is the American flag next to a banner designed by Anne, mother of Michael, which is placed in a mall near her home to remind people of Memorial Day's meaning. You will read her comments later. Most of the TAPS staff, including me, will be attending the 22nd Annual TAPS National Military Seminar and Good Grief Camp on May 26 - May 30. If you are joining
The Art of Cherishing The Art of Cherishing The Art of Cherishing \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt After the death of someone close to you, you enter a time of deep grief. This is a normal and necessary time of transition. If you use this period of intense grief to actively and intentionally engage with your painful thoughts and feelings, you find ways to express them that are helpful to you. In other words, you do the hard work of mourning. You share your grief outside yourself — in doses over time — so that you begin to inte
Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Activities Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Activities Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Activities Carol Lane Good Morning, This past week, I attended the 23rd Annual TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp in the D.C. area. TAPS Seminars are a time of reflection and connection as we talk with other survivors who walk this journey with us. It is great to meet others in person who have been a part of the Online Community throughout the year. TAPS has given its website a
Christmas in Section 60, Arlington National Cemetery Christmas in Section 60, Arlington National Cemetery Christmas in Section 60, Arlington National Cemetery Scott Warner Christmas is a special time for families. My family has always loved Christmas, and it is a wonderful time of year for making memories with your special loved ones, family, and friends. Over the years, our family developed our own special traditions and rituals that became part of our holiday season. Each year, we spent Christmas Eve at my cousin’s house, wore special Christm
Video: Honoring Love and Embracing Transformation Video: Honoring Love and Embracing Transformation Honoring Love and Embracing Transformation Webinar \| TAPS Institute Andy McNiel There are many special holidays where we express our love for others. In the month of February on Valentine's Day we buy flowers, send cards, write letters, or express love to those special people in our lives. It is during these times when the love we feel for them is reflected in the pain we experience over their absence. What do we do with all the love we have f
Video: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Demystified Video: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Demystified Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Demystified Webinar \| TAPS Institute Howard Lipke Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is the most widely disseminated and thoroughly researched method of psychotherapy to appear in recent times. It is recognized as an evidence-based method of treatment for PTSD by evaluating authorities including the American Psychiatric Association, the International Society for Tra
TAPS Survivor Newsletter October 2024 TAPS Survivor Newsletter October 2024 TAPS Survivor Newsletter October 2024 TAPS Media Surviving families from all over the country joined TAPS on Capitol Hill from September 23 to 26 for TAPS Gold Star Families Advocacy Week. The group met with legislators from both the Senate and House of Representatives, and their powerful stories shed light on issues impacting military and veteran survivors. See how our dedicated team works alongside lawmakers year-round to advance policy that directly im
A Playlist for the Pandemic A Playlist for the Pandemic A Playlist for the Pandemic \| TAPS Grace Seamon-Lahiff Like most people under COVID lockdown, I am rediscovering things about myself that were buried under the stress of work, school and general adulting. One such thing is my love of a stress-induced dance party. As a kid, my dad was deployed a lot and when life became too much, my mom would announce that we needed a dance party. Cut to the two of us jumping around the living room while the B52’s blared through t
Ripples on a Pond Ripples on a Pond: Understanding and Coping with Secondary Loss Ripples on a Pond: Understanding and Coping with Secondary Loss \| TAPS Kenneth Doka After her son Michael died in Afghanistan, Lydia told me, “I not only lost my son, I simultaneously lost all his friends.” Lydia had not realized the almost sacred place those friends occupied in Michael’s life and her own. “Ever since grade school, they were always over. They even went on trips with us. It was a tradition that they came to our
I knew I was picking the right table I knew I was picking the right table I knew I was Picking the Right Table \| TAPS Sarah Greene At lunch on the first day of TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar in May, I searched the room for a friendly face, knowing no one, and I sat down at a table with three women. One woman was leading the conversation with a fluid southern drawl while the two remaining women—red eyed, with tears streaming down their cheeks—listened and nodded their heads in agreement. This was what I had signed u
International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day \| TAPS Carla Stumpf Patton International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day, commonly referred to as ISOSLD or Survivor Day, is on Saturday, November 20, 2021. It is declared as a day of healing throughout the world, where all those impacted by suicide loss can connect around the lives of their loved ones and share their experiences of support, encouragement, and hope. According to The American Foundation for
Saturday Morning Message: Summer Memories Saturday Morning Message: Summer Memories Saturday Morning Message: Summer Memories \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, The replies sent in response to the question about summer memories this week were wonderful. When I read them, I got a picture in my mind of the places described. One survivor, Debby RM, spouse of Tom, sent a picture of Lake Tahoe to go along with one of her memories. I thought it would make a good opening for this week’s message. Debby wrote, “Lake Tahoe is where Tom and I we
Saturday Morning Message: Self Care Part Two Saturday Morning Message: Self Care Part Two Saturday Morning Message: Self Care Part Two Carol Lane Good Morning, Helping yourself when you are grieving may not seem like a priority, but this week survivors continued to share strategies that have helped them take care of themselves during these difficult times. There were so many responses to this question that the replies were carried over for two weeks. Read what others have done to help themselves while honoring their loved ones and chos
Godwinks: A Chance Meeting Godwinks: A Chance Meeting Godwinks: A Chance Meeting \| TAPS Sandy Isom Editor's Note: The TAPS Wall of Heroes is a fixture at every National Military Survivor Seminar. The wall — a display of tiles, each featuring the photo of a fallen hero whose loved one is in attendance — is prominently displayed in the center of activity at the seminar. Throughout each day of the event, attendees, staff, volunteers, and guests pass by the wall — sometimes turning their heads for grateful glances, other
Letting Leisure in After Loss Letting Leisure in After Loss Letting Leisure in After Loss \| TAPS Rachel Hunsell leisure (n) / lei • sure / (lē´•r, le´•r) : free time, although not idle time : personal freedom from responsibilities of work, daily tasks, etc. : the freedom and the capacity to live and experience life within recreation (n) / rec • rea • tion / (rek´rēā´sh•n) : what we do during our leisure time — activities done for enjoyment play (n, v) / (plā) : act of engaging in activities without inhibit
Military Survivors of Suicide Loss Build Community at the TAPS National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp Military Survivors of Suicide Loss Build Community at the TAPS National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp Military Survivors of Suicide Loss Build Community at the TAPS National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp TAPS Earlier this month TAPS hosted its 14th Annual National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp in Dallas, Texas. It was a weekend full of community, hope, and healing as hundreds of survivors of military suicide loss came tog
The Importance of Hope The Importance of Hope The Importance of Hope Alan Wolfelt Excerpted from The Mourner’s Book of Hope: 30 Days of Inspiration “Today… I open my heart’s hand to allow the touch of hope.” ~ Julia Cameron Someone you love has died. In your heart you have come to know your deepest pain. Your grief has brought challenges that seem beyond your own capacity to survive. Grief creates chaos, and your soul cries out. You naturally experience a sense of helplessness and, at times, you feel the d
Video: Legacies Live On Video: Legacies Live On Video: Legacies Live On \| TAPS TAPS Media Listen to military survivors who have grown up with TAPS by their side as children. Now adults, they are doing great things in the world as the Living Legacies of America's service and sacrifice. They will be the next generation of TAPS. Visit Legacies Live On, Honoring 30 Years for more inspiring survivor stories of resilience, healing, and transformation. Select image below to play. military survivor, living legacies,
Guilt—What It Is Guilt—What It Is Guilt—What It Is Bob Baugher And What to Do About It After your loved one died, did you find yourself saying things such as: I should’ve, I shouldn’t have, If only, I wish I would’ve, or why didn’t I? If so, you are part of a very large group of humans who have felt guilty following a death. It doesn’t matter whether the death took place thousands of miles away or in your home. It matters less whether your loved one died in an accident, in a war setting, or due to an inter
The Gold Star Tree: A Holiday Memorial to Our Fallen Heroes The Gold Star Tree: A Holiday Memorial to Our Fallen Heroes The Gold Star Tree: A Holiday Memorial to Our Fallen Heroes \| TAPS Patti Nowaczyk During the Christmas season, the Hammond, Indiana, Welcome Center showcases its own exhibit of the movie “A Christmas Story.” Windows are filled with animated displays of scenes from the film. And yes, the leg lamp with the fishnet stocking shines brightly in all its glory. The display also includes 35 holiday trees, and there is a drawing to see who wi
Grief expert shares how to find meaning after loss Grief expert shares how to find meaning after loss Grief expert shares how to find meaning after loss \| TAPS Institute for Hope and Healing TAPS Techniques of Grief Therapy at the TAPS Institute for Hope and Healing Loss and bereavement are universal, but the way we each respond to the life transitions that grief brings is varied. Some of us may adapt to the loss surprisingly well, others may struggle for a long time or feel unable to return to a normal level of functioning. Regardless of
Saturday Morning Message: Special Memories Saturday Morning Message: Special Memories Saturday Morning Message: Special Memories Carol Lane Good morning, Sharing special memories about your loved one can be helpful for you, and it also allows others to get to know your cherished person. As you will see in the responses this week, there are a variety of ways to share those memories. Sometimes writing is good, but with technology, you can also use video or pictures if you find writing is too difficult right now. In that way, you can p
Saturday Morning Message: Priority Changes That Celebrate the Life Saturday Morning Message: Priority Changes That Celebrate the Life Saturday Morning Message: Priority Changes That Celebrate the Life Carol Lane Good Morning, Many survivors look for something to celebrate the lives of their loved one that they might not have done or they shift the way they look at things after a loved one dies. Today we share some ideas that others have tried. Please feel free to try the ones that interest you. Going to an event that like a TAPS seminar or retreat woul
TAPS Advisory Board Members recognized for their outstanding work TAPS Advisory Board Members recognized for their outstanding work TAPS Advisory Board Members recognized for their outstanding work \| TAPS TAPS TAPS Advisory Board member and internationally-recognized expert in grief and loss, Kenneth J. Doka, Ph.D., was recognized April 12 with the Lifetime Achievement Award from the Association for Death Education and Counseling. The award was presented at ADEC’s 41st annual conference, held in Atlanta. Ken Doka, who serves on the TAPS advisory board, is
Saturday Morning Message: Inspirational Movies Saturday Morning Message: Inspirational Movies Saturday Morning Message: Inspirational Movies \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, Movie titles were shared this week that provided support for those who responded. Each responder shared how the movie helped in a special way on the grief journey. Since I wanted to make sure their thoughts were highlighted, a decision was made to place a link for each movie to IMDb for the summary, etc. If you want to know more about a movie, just click on the title
A Second Chance and a Family Healed A Second Chance and a Family Healed A Second Chance and a Family Healed \| TAPS Perry Monroe In 2018, I visited the TAPS website and saw that registration for the Montana Men’s Retreat would be opening soon. I set the alarm on my phone and computer. If I did nothing else that year, I was going to do this. The second registration opened, I signed up. When I received confirmation, I was beyond excited. My excitement was a direct result of an encounter I had with Medal of Honor recipient Her
My Unexpected Journey into the Healing Arms of TAPS My Unexpected Journey into the Healing Arms of TAPS My Unexpected Journey into the Healing Arms of TAPS Bridget Singletary-Goodwin TAPS is a community of survivors. Some of us have lost loved ones on the battlefield, others to long-term illness. Some TAPS survivors, like me, have lost someone they loved in tragic accidents. My children and I are somewhat unusual as TAPS survivors, for not only have we suffered through the sudden and untimely death of my husband, we also survived the same c
After the Holidays After the Holidays After the Holidays Darcie Sims Surviving the Mid-Winter Gloom Why does January seem so empty? Just as the world is stiff and frozen outside my window, I feel dead and cold and scattered inside myself. I managed to make it through the holiday season, though the “how” of that feat is truly beyond my recollection. I can't even remember eating the holiday meals. (I do, however, remember doing the dishes—again and again and again. Next year we are eating out or using paper plat
5 Ways TAPS Peer Mentors Can Support New Survivors 5 Ways TAPS Peer Mentors Can Support New Survivors 5 Ways TAPS Peer Mentors Can Support New Survivors Allicia Johnson No one can fully understand the grief journey in the way a fellow survivor can. Experienced survivors understand the power of peer support; they know the hopefulness of looking to another who has traveled this path and seeing that person surviving and thriving. Having someone who can relate without judgment, someone who can validate that the emotions you are experiencing are O
A Four-Part Plan to Support Survivors of Trauma A Four-Part Plan to Support Survivors of Trauma A Four-Part Plan to Support Survivors of Trauma \| TAPS TAPS For more than 10 years, TAPS has comforted and cared for more than 11,500 surviving family members who have lost a military loved one to suicide. Each day, an average of three to four new survivors of suicide loss in the pain of grief come to us, and we welcome them with the warm embrace that can only come from those who truly understand their journey. Over the years, TAPS has develop
Navigating Conversations around Grief and the Holidays Navigating Conversations around Grief and the Holidays Navigating Conversations around Grief and the Holidays \| TAPS Rachel Kodanaz Most conversations between two or more people are casual and engaged to exchange ideas, thoughts, or emotions. In most cases, discussions are straightforward and timely– based on current events, shared experiences, or future planning. However, navigating, and often tiptoeing, around conversations during the holiday season is essential to remain conscientious of t
How Cultural Exposure Changed My Thoughts on Death How Cultural Exposure Changed My Thoughts on Death How Cultural Exposure Changed My Thoughts on Death Gloria Horsley I keep hearing from people that the United States is a death-denying society. After my recent trip to India I am not sure I agree. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, in her landmark book, "On Death and Dying," brought death to the forefront of the American consciousness more than 40 years ago. Today, there are numerous books, workshops and research projects examining death and dying. It i
Video: Grieving While You Work Video: Grieving While You Work, Working While You are Grieving Grieving While You Work, Working While You are Grieving Webinar \| TAPS Institute Mark Hensley For those coping with grief and loss, returning to work can be an additional challenge. This program will discuss re-entry into the work place (whether in-person or remotely) as a bereaved survivor and what that might look and feel like when trying to establish a routine. Dr. Hensley will discuss the importance of physical, emotional, and
TAPS Suicide Survivor Seminar TAPS Suicide Survivor Seminar TAPS Suicide Survivor Seminar TAPS A place of healing and support Reprinted with permission from TIME Magazine’s Battleland Blog. Rebecca Morrison is one of two widows TIME Magazine featured in its July cover story on the surge in Army suicides. My New Family Thursday morning I bounced out of bed early and yelled “Oh my gosh!” I never get up on time and certainly never bounce. But this morning I knew that I would be headed to California for the TAPS sem
The Critical Importance of Seeking Support The Critical Importance of Seeking Support The Critical Importance of Seeking Support Alan Wolfelt Learning from the Geese If there is ever a time in life when we need others to support and nurture us, it’s when someone we love dies. In many ways, grief work is the most difficult work we will ever do. And hard work is less burdensome when others lend a hand. Sharing the devastation that results from the death of someone precious won’t make the hurt go away, but it does make it more
To Watch or Not To Watch To Watch or Not To Watch To Watch or Not To Watch Kelly Griffith That is the Question Sitting in the darkened, crowded theater, I realized I had made a mistake. Why hadn’t I picked the cutesy cartoon movie about dancing penguins? Why did I choose to resort to emotional cutting? No. I would be fine. But I looked beside me and saw the looks on my family's faces and knew I had made a big mistake. It was just a few short months after Sammy's death on December 14, and we sat in a room f
Video: Suicide Postvention is Prevention Video: Suicide Postvention is Prevention Video: Suicide Postvention is Prevention \| TAPS TAPS Media There are unique needs and concerns around suicide loss that can be different than other causes of death. People who have been touched by suicide could be at higher risk for suicide themselves. Quality postvention care and support can dramatically reduce that risk. Suicide survivors in need are more likely to ask for help when they are connected to a supportive community. Call us 24/7 at 800.
Video: National Highlights Video: 28th Annual TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp Highlights Video: 28th Annual TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp Highlights \| TAPS TAPS Media Over Memorial Day Weekend 2022, more than 1200 military survivors, volunteers and staff gathered together for the annual TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp in Arlington, Virginia - a weekend of hope, healing, peer to peer connections, and a chance to honor and remember our
#MyGivingStory #MyGivingStory My Giving Story \| TAPS TAPS You can help the mission of TAPS by sharing your personal giving story this holiday season. Simply share why you support TAPS and why others should be inspired to give to TAPS, too. Your story could help TAPS win up to $10,000 this #GivingTuesday, November 28, for families of the fallen. Share the Word about #GivingTuesday Visit #MyGivingStory to share how you help TAPS in our support of families around the country. Print off the TAPS “I Give B
Making Dreams Come True Making Dreams Come True Making Dreams Come True \| TAPS Robert Worley II What’s your child’s dream job? Chef? Veterinarian? Teacher? With the right education, the potential opportunities are endless. But when a family member or loved one is lost, saving money for college can be difficult. The Department of Veterans Affairs knows how hard it can be for families who have experienced loss to pay for higher education. That’s why there are several VA assistance programs available to support spous
How Well Do You Know TAPS Education Support Services? How Well Do You Know TAPS Education Support Services? How Well Do You Know TAPS Education Support Services? \| TAPS TAPS Busting Common Myths Myth: TAPS Education Support Services is just for surviving children. Myth Busted: We absolutely support surviving children entering college, but that isn’t all we do! Education Support Services serves surviving family members of any age or relationship to the fallen. Myth: TAPS Education Support Services is just for college-bound students.
Kids, Grief, and COVID-19 Kids, Grief, and COVID-19 Kids, Grief, and COVID-19 \| TAPS Linda Goldman Children and teens have had their world turned inside out during the coronavirus pandemic. The familiar has turned foreign, the expected has vanished, and the world as kids knew it pre-COVID-19 has transformed into a surreal new normal. Overwhelmed by virtual classes, home quarantine, cleanl
Klinger's Korner: Healthy Growth & Development In Bereaved Children and Teenagers Klinger's Korner: Healthy Growth & Development In Bereaved Children and Teenagers Klinger's Korner: Healthy Growth & Development In Bereaved Children and Teenagers \| TAPS Andy McNiel How can I help my child grow and develop in healthy ways even when they are grieving the death of someone in their life? It is difficult to watch our children struggle or face distress after a loss. As parents, we want our children to have healthy, happy experiences, and we worry that their grief will have long-t
A Bittersweet Gift: Finding Comfort in teams4taps A Bittersweet Gift: Finding Comfort in teams4taps A Bittersweet Gift: Finding Comfort in teams4taps \| TAPS Elizabeth Engleman-Hammett U.S. Army Specialist Tyler Brent Hammett It was Super Bowl Sunday, February 2, 2014. My family and I were settled in front of the television watching the game, as we do every Sunday during football season. It wasn’t quite half-time, rather late in the day, so we were a little more than perplexed to hear someone knock on our front door. In th
Coming Home Coming Home Coming Home Michele Hiester Marcum Somebody somewhere once said, “Home is where the heart is,” and if I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard that quote over the years, I could probably take a vacation - away from home. I’m not a world-class traveler who circles the globe on a regular basis, but we do indulge in periodic family getaways. We love to visit places we’ve never been, and we enjoy planning all the details of each trip: where we eat, where we sleep, and what we see a
Saluting Service and Sacrifice: Gillette, NFL Team Up for TAPS Saluting Service and Sacrifice: Gillette, NFL Team Up for TAPS Saluting Service and Sacrifice: Gillette, NFL Team Up for TAPS Kristi Stolzenberg From the outside looking in, the death of a military service member is a moment — one unimaginably difficult day on a calendar page for a grieving family. This loss is eventually paved over by a new normal, and life goes on for the fallen hero’s family. But the view is much different at the center of the loss — it’s so much more than a single day;
Military Mentor hosts Meetup for Prospective Volunteers Military Mentor hosts Meetup for Prospective Volunteers Military Mentor hosts Meetup for Prospective Volunteers \| TAPS TAPS John Jarecki mentors military children in TAPS Good Grief Camps because he knows firsthand how important it is to be with others in grief. He also knows what it is like when you’re working through your grief alone and on your own. John was 5 years old when his father, a captain in the Air Force, died in an F4 crash in 1981. He and his family didn’t have the financial a
6 Things I Wish I Knew as a New Widow 6 Things I Wish I Knew as a New Widow 6 Things I Wish I Knew as a New Widow August Cabrera Beginning the widow walk is a struggle, but there are some basic truths that would have helped me navigate those first few months with maybe a bit more grace and certainly more confidence. Here’s what I’ve learned since then, in hopes of making the start of your grief journey a tiny bit easier. 1. You can’t screw this up. People will judge, you’ll be looked at strangely, and the worst part is that t
Run and Remember: Marine Corps Marathon Forward Run and Remember: Marine Corps Marathon Forward Run and Remember: Marine Corps Marathon Forward Dustin Kazmar Mission Complete for TAPS! Editor’s Note: On October 26, 2008, more than 6,000 miles away from Washington DC, the site of the annual Marine Corps Marathon, hundreds of service members ran in the sands of Iraq to honor our Fallen Heroes. This is one Marine’s amazing report. Race day! I wake up at 0400 and jump in the shower to start my morning. While I am shaving I hear what sounds
Moments…Just Moments Moments…Just Moments Moments…Just Moments Darcie Sims Have you ever had a moment? You know, a moment when time stood still and everything was as it should be—right and good and whole and wonderful. A moment when you were in the right place at the right time and life was good. Did you ever have a moment like that? Did you ever have a moment when the sun danced across the windowpane and made a rainbow through the glass? Or the breeze caught the fragrance of roses and sent it drifting past
Snowflakes Snowflakes Snowflakes Darcie Sims Surviving the Winter Season Have you ever stood outside with your head tilted back and your mouth open wide trying to catch a snowflake? Snowflakes fall everywhere: on your hair, your chin, your eyelashes, even your nose. And some even manage to land on the very tip of your tongue only to vanish before you can really get a taste. Each snowflake is a completely different design and pattern. No two are ever created exactly the same. It is a mystery that co
Photos: teams4taps Cincinnati teams4taps Football Club Cincinnati Practice TAPS at Football Club Cincinnati Practice \| TAPS TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (26 photos) //
The Rewards of Mentoring Military Survivors The Rewards of Mentoring Military Survivors The Rewards of Mentoring Military Survivors \| TAPS Amber Loveless Noah Velazquez Kristin Cook In honor of National Mentoring Month, several of our mentors, TAPS Military Mentor Amber Loveless, TAPS Peer Mentor Noah Velazquez, and TAPS Peer Mentor Kristin Cook, have shared their mentoring story. To learn more about mentoring opportunities at TAPS, please refer to Peer Mentors and Military Mentors and Legacy Mentors pages.