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Photos: teams4taps Liverpool teams4taps FC Liverpool Experience teams4taps FC Liverpool Experience Photos \| TAPS TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (32 photos and 1 video) teams4taps, photos, military survivor Flickr Album Event Photos: US and UK Families celebrate the life and service of fallen loved ones with LFC Foundation along side Home Base and SSAFA on March 21, 2025.
Seven Choices: Finding daylight after loss shatters your world Seven Choices: Finding daylight after loss shatters your world Seven Choices: Finding daylight after loss shatters your world Betsy Beard Early in my grief journey, I looked desperately for books or manuals or instructions-anything to help me get through each day-but bookstores didn't stock very many books about grief. I found this perplexing since death is universal and most of us will experience the loss of a loved one at some point before we ourselves die. For TAPS survivors, that loss see
Widow’s Tax Now Completely Eliminated Widow’s Tax Now Completely Eliminated Widow’s Tax Now Completely Eliminated \| TAPS Candace Wheeler TAPS Policy News: TAPS is pleased to announce that on February 1, 2023, surviving military spouses will receive their full Survivor Benefit Plan (SBP) annuity payment from the Department of Defense (DoD) and their full Dependency and Indemnity Compensation (DIC) payment from the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA). The SBP-DIC Offset, or Widow’s Tax, is completely eliminated, and fu
Healing Trauma in Military Survivors Healing Trauma in Military Survivors Healing Trauma in Military Survivors \| TAPS Carla Stumpf Patton June is PTSD Awareness month June is awareness month for PTSD (Posttraumatic Stress Disorder), making it critical to talk openly to create the understanding and encouragement needed to seek care and treatment. Trauma can be experienced in people of all ages and demographics, resulting from various life events such as: natural disasters, accidents, crime, war, medical or life-threateni
Struggling To Reclaim My Faith Struggling To Reclaim My Faith Struggling To Reclaim My Faith Dennis Apple My nightmare began on Wednesday, February 6, 1991, at 8:20 a.m. Denny, our eighteen- year-old son had been diagnosed with mononucleosis two days prior, and the doctor had sent us home with medications and orders to rest. However, something awful happened during the night, and the following morning I discovered he had died in his sleep. There is nothing I know of that compares to the horror and shock that comes to the h
Video: The Power of Sound Healing Video: The Power of Sound Healing The Power of Sound Healing Webinar \| TAPS Institute Janie Keilwitz Sound healing has been used throughout the ages from modern day medicine to ancient Greek and Chinese cultures. In this program you’ll learn about the history and use of sound healing, recent scientific research, and amazing discoveries on how this cutting-edge therapy is being used to treat medical conditions and help with trauma, grief, and stress. The program will discuss various acupressu
Professional and personal grief education at conference Professional — and personal — grief education at conference Professional and personal grief education at conference \| TAPS Karissa Kelley Once a year, the “giants” in the field of thanatology gather in one place for a whirlwind experience of education, networking and collaboration. Last week, I had the honor of representing TAPS at the 41st ADEC Conference in Atlanta, Georgia. The Association for Death Education and Counseling is the leading organization in thanatology, the study of death. AD
Is Suicide a Choice? Is Suicide a Choice? Military Widow Kim Ruocco on Spousal Suicide - TAPS News Kim Ruocco The National Veterans Crisis Line (800-273-8255) is available 24/7 to TAPS survivors. It is confidential and can connect you with local resources. The TAPS helpline (800-959-8277) is available for peer-based grief support. There are so many questions following a death by suicide. How could this happen? Why did this happen? Why didn’t I see it? Why didn’t I do something? Why didn’t the military do more?
Bonds with the Deceased Don’t Have to End Bonds with the Deceased Don’t Have to End Bonds with the Deceased Don’t Have to End Gloria Horsley Heidi Horsley “Scott is dead!” These are the dreaded words that no parent or sibling should ever have to hear, words that irrevocably changed our lives forever. We heard these words in 1983, when Scott Horsley, our beloved son and brother, died in a fiery collision when the car in which he was a passenger hydroplaned and slammed into a bridge abutment. In an instant, Scott’s life was snuffed
988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Offers Hope, Connection and Support to Help Save Lives 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Offers Hope, Connection and Support to Help Save Lives 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Offers Hope, Connection and Support to Help Save Lives \| TAPS Carla Stumpf Patton We all can do our part at preventing suicide, starting with the resources to seek support and help from the new, “988” Suicide & Crisis Lifeline and Veteran’s Crisis Line (Veterans press1). The Transition to 988 on July 16, 2022 is an important step forward and offers an unprecedented opportuni
Good Grief Camp Corner Good Grief Camp Corner Good Grief Camp Corner Jonathan Kirkendall It was May 2006. I was a civilian, a mental health professional, and I was standing in the lobby of the Doubletree Hotel in Arlington, Va., feeling lost. A few weeks before, I heard a radio interview with Bonnie Carroll talking about a program called TAPS. With a brother and a nephew serving in Iraq, I was intrigued. I was struggling to find a concrete way to support the troops - especially since the troops were my family. A
Saturday Morning Message: Inspirational Movies Saturday Morning Message: Inspirational Movies Saturday Morning Message: Inspirational Movies \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, Movie titles were shared this week that provided support for those who responded. Each responder shared how the movie helped in a special way on the grief journey. Since I wanted to make sure their thoughts were highlighted, a decision was made to place a link for each movie to IMDb for the summary, etc. If you want to know more about a movie, just click on the title
Dealing with the Media in Wake of Tragedy Dealing with the Media in Wake of Tragedy Dealing with the Media in Wake of Tragedy \| TAPS Ami Neiberger-Miller For many surviving families who have lost a loved one in the military, our interactions with the media are interwoven with our experiences in the days immediately after our loved one dies. We encounter the reporters on our front porch, field phone calls from the Associated Press, and might even scan pictures to share. As a seasoned public relations professional, I am no stranger
Saturday Morning Message: Thoughts for New Survivors Saturday Morning Message: Thoughts for New Survivors Saturday Morning Message: Thoughts for New Survivors Carol Lane Good morning, The picture today comes from my garden to your house. It is a picture of a rose my sister-in-law gave me for my birthday this year. This is one of the last roses of the summer season in my part of the country. I thought the rose along with an article written by Carla Stumpf-Patton titled “Seasons of Grief” would be appropriate to this week’s topic. In the article
My Death Wish My Death Wish My Death Wish Michele Hernandez Moving from Misery to Meaning It is an odd and frightening sensation to wish you were dead. After my husband died I fervently wished I could die, too. The first time I read that grieving people sometimes fantasize about death, I was relieved. My entire life I had appreciated the gift of life; to suddenly and frequently wish it away was a disconcerting and lonely experience. When my husband, Phil, was hit by a car, the initial shock provided
Video: Robert Patrick Memorial Day Message Video: Robert Patrick at the 29th Annual TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar over Memorial Day Weekend Video: Robert Patrick at the 29th Annual TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar over Memorial Day Weekend \| TAPS TAPS Media Robert Patrick, actor, speaks at the Grand Banquet of the 29th Annual TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar on Saturday, May 27, 2023, in Arlington, Virginia. Robert quotes the prayer of Mrs. Roosevelt remembering the sacrifice of those who have and will die for
Good Mourning Podcast: The Many Faces of Grief Good Mourning Podcast: The Many Faces of Grief Good Mourning Podcast: The Many Faces of Grief Darcie Sims TAPS' own Darcie Sims has a new weekly podcast entitled Good Mourning: The Many Faces of Grief. Join Darcie, a bereaved parent and child, an internationally recognized speaker and the author of 8 books, as she explores the journey through grief and identifies the choice points we encounter along the way. You will discover you can cry and laugh at the same time, learn tools for coping and
Kids, Grief, and COVID-19 Kids, Grief, and COVID-19 Kids, Grief, and COVID-19 \| TAPS Linda Goldman Children and teens have had their world turned inside out during the coronavirus pandemic. The familiar has turned foreign, the expected has vanished, and the world as kids knew it pre-COVID-19 has transformed into a surreal new normal. Overwhelmed by virtual classes, home quarantine, cleanl
Mental Health in the Movies and Media: Continuing the Discussion on Suicide Mental Health in the Movies and Media: Continuing the Discussion on Suicide Mental Health in the Movies and Media: Continuing the Discussion on Suicide \| TAPS Carla Stumpf Patton Writers note: This story contains topics related to mental health and suicide. If you are experiencing emotional distress or thoughts of suicide, help can be found by contacting the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 (Veterans Press 1), or by contacting the National Crisis Text Line by texting “
To Watch or Not To Watch To Watch or Not To Watch To Watch or Not To Watch Kelly Griffith That is the Question Sitting in the darkened, crowded theater, I realized I had made a mistake. Why hadn’t I picked the cutesy cartoon movie about dancing penguins? Why did I choose to resort to emotional cutting? No. I would be fine. But I looked beside me and saw the looks on my family's faces and knew I had made a big mistake. It was just a few short months after Sammy's death on December 14, and we sat in a room f
New Years: A Time for Self-Exploration New Years: A Time for Self-Exploration New Years: A Time for Self-Exploration \| TAPS TAPS The beginning of a new year is an obvious time for reevaluation, but it’s also an opportunity for compassionate self-awareness. We focus so often on what we need to do — thinking that if we do certain things, we’ll have certain outcomes, and then we’ll be a certain way or feel a certain sense of satisfaction. This year, though, instead of a New Year’s resolution — a commitment to “do”-ing something — w
Coping with Holidays and Celebrations Coping with Holidays and Celebrations Coping with Holidays and Celebrations Helen Fitzgerald This article is found on American Hospice Foundation website: Coping with Holidays and Celebrations. By Helen Fitzgerald, MFT holidays, grief Military Mother Finds Comfort after Son's Suicide When a loved one has died, holidays, anniversaries, and birthdays inevitably bring fresh memories and a re-experience of the pain of grief.
Audio: Suicide in the Military, Lipstein Suicide in the Military Suicide in the Military Madeline Brand Show Surviving father Don Lipstein talks with the Madeleine Brand Show about the death of his Navy son by suicide. Listen to Audio Your browser does not support the audio element. Listen on the Southern California Public Radio website Suicide, Military, Lipstein Suicide in the Military Surviving father Don Lipstein talks with the Madeleine Brand Show about the death of his Navy son by suicide.
My Dad, My Hero My Dad, My Hero My Dad, My Hero Gabrielle Herman Author, Eckhart Tolle, writes of the search for wholeness, a sense of lack or incompleteness, of not being whole, in which we strive after possessions, money, success, power, recognition, or a special relationship to feel better about ourselves and to feel complete. Only to realize, after attaining all these things, we find the hole is still there, that it is bottomless. He believes the secret of life is to "die before you die" - and find that
A Look at Loneliness A Look at Loneliness A Look at Loneliness \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt "The eternal quest of the individual human being is to shatter his loneliness." — Norman Cousins The COVID-19 pandemic has increased our awareness of the problem of loneliness. We were lonely before the novel coronavirus arose, and we’re even lonelier since routine social distancing, isolation, and quarantining became unfortunate necessities. Of course, for those of us in grief, the natural loneliness of loss also compounds our fe
Helping Military Kids with Traumatic Death Helping Military Kids with Traumatic Death Helping Military Kids with Traumatic Death Linda Goldman Ordinary fears are a normal part of a child’s developmental growth, and children create internal and external mechanisms to cope with these fears. But a child’s ordinary fears can be transformed into very real survival fears in the face of severe trauma. After children experience the death of a parent, they often feel alone and different. Frightened because their once comfortable world now seem
Resource Center, TAPS Top Picks for Scholarships Resource Center, TAPS Top Picks for Scholarships Resource Center, TAPS Top Picks for Scholarships TAPS Now that school is back in session, it’s a good time to start planning for your future at college, whether you are a high school senior, surviving spouse, or young adult whose parent has died in military service. When applying for educational and financial resources, the large range of differing requirements and eligibilities can make the scholarship search a grueling process. Here at T
Video: Bonnie Carroll on Finding the Beauty within Tragedy Video: Bonnie Carroll on Finding the Beauty within Tragedy Bonnie Carroll on Finding the Beauty within Tragedy \| TAPS Robin Gargano A conversation between TAPS Founder and President Bonnie Carroll and Robin Gargano that took place during the Finding the Beauty within Tragedy Summit. If you are coping with the loss of your military loved one, find supportive resources and programming on the TAPS website. Select image below to play the video. This video is courtesy of Robin Gargano. video
Messages of Love Messages of Love Messages of Love Claire Perkins Over the years since my son’s death in 2004, I have received many messages and signs from him. Some have come in dreams, some through songs on the radio. Perhaps the most powerful have been the heart-shaped stones and shells washed up by the sea to remind me that love never dies. Read the full article on the Open to Hope website. By Claire Perkins, Surviving mother of Cameron grief, healing, god winks Over the years since my son’s death
Audio: Kim Ruocco Talks with The Mark Steiner Show Kim Ruocco Talks with The Mark Steiner Show Kim Ruocco Talks with The Mark Steiner Show Marc Steiner Radio Show Kim Ruocco, military widow and TAPS manager of suicide postvention and education programs, talks about suicide in the Armed Forces and how we can all help. Listen to Audio Your browser does not support the audio element. Listen on the Mark Steiner Show website Veterans Day, Suicide, Radio Kim Ruocco Talks with The Mark Steiner Show Kim Ruocco, TAPS manager of suicide po
Traumatic Grief in Military Children Traumatic Grief in Military Children Traumatic Grief in Military Children TAPS Traumatic Grief in Military Children: Information for Families To read the complete article, visit www.NCTSN.org and click on Military Children & Families. National Child Traumatic Stress Network. (2008). Traumatic Grief in Military Children: Information for Families. Los Angeles, CA & Durham, NC: National Center for Child Traumatic Stress. By the National Child Traumatic Stress Network military child
Suicide grief: Healing after a loved one's suicide Suicide grief: Healing after a loved one's suicide Suicide grief: Healing after a loved one's suicide Mayo Clinic Staff A loved one's suicide can be emotionally devastating. Use healthy coping strategies — such as seeking support — to begin the journey to healing and acceptance. See article on the Mayo Clinic website: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/suicide/MH00048 By Mayo Clinic Staff suicide loss A loved one's suicide can be emotionally devastating. Use healthy coping strategies —
Understanding Why People Die by Suicide Understanding Why People Die by Suicide Understanding Why People Die by Suicide \| TAPS Carla Stumpf Patton What happened? Why did he do it? The answers to the questions are complex. When someone we love dies by suicide, it can be overwhelming and confusing, and bring with it many emotions and questions. Those affected by suicide often struggle with how, and if, their life will ever fit back together again. More than anybody, it is the suicide loss survivor who is left with endless “whys” and
What Grieving People Want You to Know What Grieving People Want You to Know What Grieving People Want You to Know Virginia Simpson Articles What A Grieving Child Wants You To Know and What Grieving People Want You To Know are found on Dr. Virginia A. Simpson's website, under Articles, Understanding Grief. By Virginia A. Simpson, PhD, FT: Dr. Virginia A. Simpson is a nationally and internationally recognized authority on dying and grieving. She brings more than a quarter of a century of experience and expertise to her work hel
Believing in Heroes Believing in Heroes Believing in Heroes Marten Wallace On September 2015, I had the great pleasure of representing TAPS at the Points of Light National Day of Service and Remembrance held at the Washington Monument. Being asked to be a storyteller to the 5th graders of Harriet Tubman Elementary School was a great privilege and honor. The title of my story was, Believing in Heroes. I asked the children during my story, what is a hero? Is a hero a cartoon character like Superman or an athlet
Five Years into the After: A Letter to Owen Five Years into the After: A Letter to Owen Five Years into the After: A Letter to Owen \| TAPS Kelly Lennon Fitzpatrick Hello Little Brother, I think about you every day. I know you know that. Each year around your anniversary, the thoughts become strings of words, and I’ve tried to record my changing feelings around the times “Before” and “After.” This year, the words have changed and are less for me and more for you — my conversation with you. We feel you all around us, and are reminded of
Saturday Morning Message: Tokens Left at the Cemetery Saturday Morning Message: Tokens Left at the Cemetery Saturday Morning Message: Tokens Left at the Cemetery \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, When survivors go to the cemetery to spend time, they bring items that are meaningful to their loved one and themselves. The opening picture came from Claire, daughter of William. As you can see, she brings items that go with the season. The cemetery where my son, Bryon, lies allows only flowers, stones and wreaths. This week survivors shared the many di
7 Random Acts of Kindness to Celebrate a Life Well Lived 7 Random Acts of Kindness to Celebrate a Life Well Lived 7 Random Acts of Kindness to Celebrate a Life Well Lived P. Ann Brothers We perform random acts of kindness on a regular basis without giving it much thought. This week, my son Army Maj. Steven Brothers would have celebrated his 41st birthday. In his honor, our family wanted to have at least 41 random acts of kindness completed to celebrate a life well lived. Here are some that touched the hearts of many. I hope they will inspire you
I’ve Been Everywhere, Man: teams4taps on the road with the NBA I’ve Been Everywhere, Man: teams4taps on the road with the NBA I’ve Been Everywhere, Man: teams4taps on the road with the NBA Bevin Landrum Military families are frequently called to live far from home. Whether they are stationed overseas or just across the country, service members and their families look for ways to maintain close connections to those they love and miss. Walk in any commissary, exchange or food court on a military installation and you’re liable to see a dozen different team
Saturday Morning Message: Displaying Memorabilia Saturday Morning Message: Displaying Memorabilia Saturday Morning Message: Displaying Memorabilia Carol Lane Good Morning, This week’s question was inspired by Merry, surviving mother of Wesley. She sent a picture of what she had done to produce Wes’s Honor Wall. The thought crossed my mind that it might be good to find out what others have done with those special mementoes, so last week’s question asked survivors what they chose to do with these beloved items. The answers were varied and in
Audio: On Memorial Day, The Hardest Lesson of All On Memorial Day, The Hardest Lesson of All On Memorial Day, The Hardest Lesson of All Ami Neiberger-Miller The TAPS Good Grief Camp, held annually near Washington, DC over Memorial Day Weekend, helps children and teens coping with the death of a parent or sibling who died while serving in the Armed Forces. Interview with TAPS spokesperson, Ami Neiberger-Miller. Listen to Audio Your browser does not support the audio element. Listen on the Public News Service website Memor
A Toast to the Ones We Lost A Toast to the Ones We Lost A Toast to the Ones We Lost \| TAPS Sonia Rai There’s a certain type of person with a certain type of heart who, before setting out to do something they love, will see the inherent danger, corruption, and uncertainty ahead of them, and still choose to act anyway. This is a toast to them. They’re the type of people who aren’t in it for the glory because they realize that glory isn’t something that can be found, rather it can only be bestowed. So they go,
Resource Center: TAPS National Military Survivor Helpline and Website Live Chat Resource Center: TAPS National Military Survivor Helpline and Website Live Chat Resource Center: TAPS National Military Survivor Helpline and Website Live Chat Kyle Balduf We all remember that day—the day the world stopped for us. We remember the knock on the door, the phone call, the person on the other end fumbling for the words to explain that life had changed forever. After the initial waves of shock rolled over us, we began to thaw, so to speak, and became acquainted with the nature of g
Working Together in Treating Suicide Loss Trauma Working Together in Treating Suicide Loss Trauma Working Together in Treating Suicide Loss Trauma \| TAPS Jennifer Keeling TAPS and Home Base Survivors dealing with grief may also be coping with trauma, so it helps to understand how this impacts healing. Trauma can be experienced from many life events like accidents, crime, disasters, war, medical emergencies, or violence. Trauma can produce emotional and physical responses as a result of exposure to extreme, unexpected, or horrifying cir
Saturday Morning Message: Positive Lessons Learned Saturday Morning Message: Positive Lessons Learned Saturday Morning Message: Positive Lessons Learned Carol Lane Good Morning, The question last week was about sharing positive lessons learned on this grief journey. Lighthouses have special meaning for me. They light the way for those encountering difficulties while traveling. We do the same when we write about our experiences in the Saturday Morning Message. Sometimes we encounter these concepts in the form of surprises. This past Sunday
National Suicide Prevention Month: TAPS Support and Resources National Suicide Prevention Month: TAPS Support and Resources National Suicide Prevention Month: Support and Resources \| TAPS Carla Stumpf Patton Each September we recognize Suicide Prevention Month, and while every day of the year is an opportunity for awareness, this time of the year specifically we emphasize education and sharing life-saving resources on all issues related to suicide—also referred to as prevention, intervention, and postvention. For those who are suicide loss survivors
Run and Remember: A Win-Win Outcome Run and Remember: A Win-Win Outcome Run and Remember: A Win-Win Outcome Betsy Beard When I first came to TAPS in 2004, I just assumed that somehow the military or the government was paying for the services and resources that were made available to me at the time: the national toll free helpline, the Peer Support Network, a free lifetime subscription to TAPS Magazine, the interactive TAPS website, the online chats, and the national seminar with all its speakers and materials and bus transporta
Saturday Morning Message: Thankful for TAPS Saturday Morning Message: Thankful for TAPS Saturday Morning Message: Thankful for TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, Because it is Thanksgiving weekend, this Saturday Morning Message features a list of resources TAPS provides that I am thankful for as a survivor. Since a list of all the programs would make this message too long, I’ve only included some of the programs. Visit TAPS programs web page to learn more. The picture today is from the TAPS website showing survivors participating in t
Strength Through Communication Strength Through Communication Strength Through Communication TAPS Keeping in Touch Members of a family don’t always live near each other. Miles may physically separate us, yet we carry the comforting knowledge that our loved ones are always close at heart. The same can be said of the TAPS family. Our homes are spread across the nation, and even across the globe. But when our grief weighs heavy, we know our TAPS family is there to provide an encouraging word, a lift of the spirit, and hope f
Online Financial Counseling Online Financial Counseling Online Financial Counseling Fran Hackett To Help Beneficiaries Plan Ahead Eligible beneficiaries in the Servicemembers’ Group Life Insurance (SGLI) Program can now take advantage of two new online financial services that can help with financial planning and also provide the ability to create a will. Eligible beneficiaries include those who have received a payment from SGLI, Veterans’ Group Life Insurance (VGLI), or Family SGLI (FSGLI). The Department of Veterans A
Video: PREVENTS - A Whole Nation Approach to Suicide Prevention Video: PREVENTS - A Whole Nation Approach to Suicide Prevention Video: PREVENTS - A Whole Nation Approach to Suicide Prevention \| TAPS Institute Barbara Van Dahlen Carolyn Colley Join the TAPS Institute for Hope and Healing® during National Suicide Prevention Week for a webinar about a new national effort to prevent suicide among Veterans and all Americans. This webinar will provide information about the President’s Roadmap to Empower Veterans and End a National Tragedy of Suicide (PREVENTS).
Is It Ok? Is It Ok? Is It Ok? Shanette Booker Every day for about the first two years after Dre's passing, I walked on eggshells and hid behind the bushes. I never wanted to be in the limelight. I didn't want to say or do anything that would offend someone. I was his wife and as his widow, I didn't want to be inappropriate in my mannerisms, words, or actions. I felt as if people would question how much I loved my husband, if I loved him as much as I said I did, or if I still loved him. It was the harde
Video: Understanding the Federal Long Term Care Insurance Program Video: Understanding the Federal Long Term Care Insurance Program Video: Understanding the Federal Long Term Care Insurance Program Webinar \| TAPS Institute Hunt Kerrigan Lisa Roussel Bonnie Carroll The Federal Long Term Care Insurance Program (FLTCIP) is an important benefit to understand especially for military survivors. This presentation and discussion will explore the realities of long term care and family caregiving, as well as review highlights of the FLTCIP, including eligibility, the a
Gold Star Children Take on Business World Thanks to TAPS Gold Star Children Take on Business World Thanks to TAPS Gold Star Children Take on Business World Thanks to TAPS Shannon Collins With the help of a Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors initiative, 12 Gold Star children participated in a variety of life-enhancing activities April 11-15 in New York City. A New York Stock Exchange executive explains operations to two Gold Star children at the opening bell in New York City, April 12, 2018. The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors prov
Audio: The Many Faces of Grief The Many Faces of Grief, A Military Widow's Journey to Hope The Many Faces of Grief, A Military Widows Journey to Hope Good Mourning Podcast TAPS founder Bonnie Carroll is interviewed by bereavement expert Darcie Sims. She discusses founding TAPS in 1994 to help all who have suffered the death of loved one serving in the Armed Forces and her own journey as a widow. She discusses discovering connections with other widows who lost their husbands in the same crash that her husband died in, and
Grief 101: Back to the Basics Grief 101: Back to the Basics Grief 101: Back to the Basics Betty Ann Rutledge The holiday season—with its inevitable reminders of the empty spaces in our families—is a good time to go back to the basics of what we know about grief. This article is found on Bereaved Families of Ontario - Toronto website, article: Grief 101: Back to the Basics By Betty Ann Rutledge: Betty Ann Rutledge is a professional volunteer manager with over 20 years of experience in the field of healthcare, death,
Watch the Gold Star Children film Trailer Watch the Gold Star Children film Trailer Watch the Gold Star Children film Trailer TAPS Gold Star Children is a documentary feature film that takes an intimate look at American children who've lost a parent to war. The film follows the parallel journeys of two generations of grieving children; recent war orphans who’ve lost military parents serving in Iraq, Afghanistan, Bosnia and here at home, learn to heal alongside the now adult-child survivors of the Vietnam War. The film brings together
The Power of the Media and Messaging The Power of the Media and Messaging Kim Ruocco's Story of Hope - TAPS News Kim Ruocco It’s been 11 years since my husband died by suicide. It has been a journey of excruciating pain and devastating loss but it has also been a journey of immense growth and a new understanding of the world around me. Like most suicide survivors I have a burning desire to understand why this happened to my loving husband and a need prevent this from happening to another military family. My first instinct was
Sibling Loss Sibling Loss Sibling Loss Heidi Horsley In the United States today, there is a natural, assumed order to the deaths we will experience in our lives. We believe that our grandparents will die first, then our parents, then our brothers and sisters, and then our children. However, that is not how it happens for thousands of people each year, and that is not how it happened for me. When my brother Scott and cousin Matthew were just 17 years old they died together in a fiery car accident.
TAPS Military Mentors Are at the Heart of TIME101 Recognition TAPS Military Mentors Are at the Heart of TIME101 Recognition TAPS Military Mentors Are at the Heart of TIME101 Recognition TAPS The April issue of Time magazine featured the publication’s annual list of the 100 most influential people, and TAPS was proud to be included as this year’s TIME101 honoree in partnership with Gillette and Time’s award-winning branded content division Red Border. In case you missed the feature, TAPS Military Mentors were shown sharing special moments with their
Saturday Morning Message: Navigating Changes In Our Lives Saturday Morning Message: Navigating Changes In Our Lives Navigating Changes In Our Lives \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message TAPS Good Morning TAPS Family, As we enter this last weekend of April, we have begun to see the new growth taking place in the world around us. As flowers bloom, trees take their familiar green shape, and warmer weather greets us, we have an opportunity to explore new growth in ourselves as well. Change has knocked on our door in so many ways. While not all change feels h
The Challenge of Moving Beyond Our Sorrow The Challenge of Moving Beyond Our Sorrow The Challenge of Moving Beyond Our Sorrow \| TAPS Judy Tatelbaum A tolling weight on our shoulders after the death of a loved one is the sorrow that we must endure knowing that they can no longer be part of our futures. As we grieve, reminders of our lost hopes and dreams, ones that we wished to celebrate with our loved ones, can be excruciatingly painful. The Pain of Letting Our Hopes and Dreams Go Just three years younger than my brother David,
Gold Star Families: We Are the Best Versions of the Worst-Case Scenarios Gold Star Families: We Are the Best Versions of the Worst-Case Scenarios Gold Star Families: We Are the Best Versions of the Worst-Case Scenarios Emily Munoz I’ve been a nightmare at multiple points in my life. I’m pretty sure my younger brother can vouch for that. So, frankly, can Sallie Mae (I’m sorry, but I just couldn't handle those coupon books), my tax preparer (I love you, Amy!) and anyone with whom I’ve ever shared a hotel room. I think on some level we all want to live the dream.
Book Shelf: Healing a Grandparent’s Grieving Heart Book Shelf: Healing a Grandparent’s Grieving Heart Book Shelf: Healing a Grandparent’s Grieving Heart Carol Flack A grandparent's loss packs a double whammy. There is grief for your grandchild who died and grief for your child's devastating loss. But there's also the feeling that you must try to be strong for the sake of your child who is grieving. Healing a Grandparent's Grieving Heart by Alan Wolfelt is a book that addresses the special concerns of grandparents in the aftermath of their los
Healing After Suicide Healing After Suicide Healing After Suicide Carla Stumpf Patton For those of us who have lost and mourn a loved one after a suicide, we all are tragically familiar with the, almost universal, feelings associated with suicide-related grief: the if onlys, the would haves, the could haves, the should haves, and of course, the endless, echoing, and unanswerable questions of “WHY…?” In the beginning, these thoughts and feelings can feel all consuming, and we wonder how and when we will ever sur
Books for the Holidays 2014 Books for the Holidays 2014 Books for the Holidays 2014 Betsy Beard The winter holidays, with their emphasis on miracles and gifts, are difficult for those who grieve. While the hearts of others are lifted in merriment, our hearts seem to grow heavier with thoughts of our loved one and the gaping hole they left in our lives. Here are some books that can help fill the void and bring extra support at this time of year. Thoughts for the Holidays, By Doug Manning As a counselor
Introducing Bunnie Jacquay Introducing Bunnie Jacquay Introducing Bunnie Jacquay Bunnie Jacquay Welcome to my journey: a world of choice and change that constantly collides with the desire to just curl up in a ball and hide while I cry. I have met some extraordinary people along the way, and I also have been blessed to have the support and understanding from an amazing group of friends. There have been a constant few, affectionately named the Cody Comfort Club, who have been with me for every step of the journey and we
Resource Center: TAPS Casework Assistance Resource Center: TAPS Casework Assistance Resource Center: TAPS Casework Assistance Glenn Gray Help is Here When You Need It As those who have come in touch with TAPS soon learn, one of our primary missions is to provide support and guidance to our survivor families, helping to overcome the emotional hurdles of military loss and identifying solutions that allow you to focus on celebrating the life of your loved one. TAPS also recognizes that there are always points in your journey—wh
Healing Your Holiday Grief Healing Your Holiday Grief Healing Your Holiday Grief Betsy Beard 100 Practical Ideas for Blending Mourning and Celebration During the Holiday Season The winter holidays, with their emphases on miracles and gifts, are difficult for those of us grieving the death of an important family member or other loved one. While the hearts of others are lifted in celebration and merry-making, our hearts seem to grow heavier with thoughts of our loved one and the gaping hole they left in our lives. Dr
Saturday Morning Message: Meaningful Objects Saturday Morning Message: Meaningful Objects Saturday Morning Message: Meaningful Objects \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, This week survivors wrote about items that celebrate the love they have for their special people. Some told about items that were worn by their loved ones while others wrote about objects they bought or were given to them by those who wanted to show their care. The picture comes from Charlene, mother of Devin. I thought you would enjoy reading why the picture sh
Saturday Morning Message: Displaying Our Folded Flags Saturday Morning Message: Displaying Our Folded Flags Saturday Morning Message: Displaying Our Folded Flags \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, This week there were so many varied responses that I am going to keep my comments short. Misti, mother of Ashton, sent this beautiful picture that she titled “Fallen Sailor American Flag” as her response to the question. I thought it would make a wonderful opening picture. Would you like to share a question or read how other survivors respond to a top
A Legacy of Service - A Mission of Honor A Legacy of Service - A Mission of Honor A Legacy of Service - A Mission of Honor \| TAPS Mona Gunn There is no loss like that of a child whose life was cut short. My son Cherone’s death was devastating to our family. He chose to follow in his dad’s footsteps and join the U.S. Navy. Immediately following his death in the attack on the USS Cole, there was nothing but pain in our hearts. The only thing that sustained us at that time was our family and friends as well as all the memories of his
Saturday Morning Message: Online Support Saturday Morning Message: Online Support Saturday Morning Message: Online Support Carol Lane Good morning, This picture comes from the new TAPS website. When you need support, this is the place to look. Everything TAPS has to offer is listed here. Some of the listings are the helpline that is available 24/7 at 800-959-TAPS (8277), upcoming events and resources such as casework or the survivor care team. There are also a variety of programs, including the TAPS Online Community, which links yo
Growing Up TAPS: Understanding How Our Children Grieve Growing Up TAPS: Understanding How Our Children Grieve Growing Up TAPS: Understanding How Our Children Grieve Andy McNiel There is a personal nature to how each of us grieves, and that individuality extends to our children and teenagers. They uniquely grieve the death of their person based on (but not limited to) their personality type, individual preferences, how they most feel comfortable being in the world, the nature of the relationship they shared with their person before they died, and
National Wreaths Across America Day National Wreaths Across America Day National Wreaths Across America Day \| TAPS Lalaine Estella Thousands of volunteers will participate in National Wreaths Across America Day on Saturday, December 15, to place wreaths on veterans’ graves at more than a thousand cemeteries throughout the country, including at Arlington National Cemetery. Gina Barnhurst started participating in Wreaths Across America in 2008, two years after her son, Marine Lance Cpl. Eric Herzberg, was killed in Iraq and buri
Letters From TAPS: From Survivor Care Team Letters From TAPS: From Survivor Care Team Letters From TAPS: From Survivor Care Team Sheri Beck Dear TAPS Family, As a child, I loved summer. Summer brought the promise of days spent boating on the Mississippi River and late nights playing softball and riding bikes. I never wanted the summer to end. As I grew older, I began to look forward to the arrival of autumn with all the changes it brought. And now I welcome the season with its crisp days and cold nights, autumn leaves turning beautif
Yuengling Lagers for Heroes Salute Veterans and Their Families Yuengling Lagers for Heroes Salute Veterans and Their Families Yuengling Lagers for Heroes Salute Veterans and Their Families \| TAPS TAPS TAPS is proud to have the support of America's Oldest Brewery, D.G. Yuengling & Son during the month of May as together we raise a toast to honor our military heroes. Fiercely independent for nearly 190 years, Yuengling is thankful and proud of the brave and dedicated service men and women who make tremendous sacrifices and represent our country's freedom,
Get Texts From Your TAPS Family! Get Texts From Your TAPS Family! Get Texts From Your TAPS Family! TAPS TAPS is expanding our mobile messaging capabilities with an exciting new program that allows us to text care group reminders, event invitations, deadlines and more to mobile phones in the US. Want to sign up? Just text TAPS to 95577. All TAPS text messages will come from the short code 95577. Some of you may already receive personal text messages from our Survivor Care Team or other staff with whom you have a relations
Resource Center: TAPS Military Survivor Education Support Services Resource Center: TAPS Military Survivor Education Support Services Resource Center: TAPS Military Survivor Education Support Services TAPS One of the most exciting times in anyone’s life is the prospect of attending college, secondary education, or trade school. It can also be an emotional and financially difficult time, dealing with complicated student admissions processes, applying for student aid, and dealing with everything else that goes along with this effort. The reality is that colleg
Presidential Memorial Certificates Presidential Memorial Certificates Presidential Memorial Certificates Betsy Beard The Presidential Memorial Certificate (PMC) is a gold embossed certificate signed by the current President in memory of any honorably discharged deceased veteran. This includes any service member who died while serving honorably. Its purpose is simply to honor the memory of those who have served. The certificate bears the name of the veteran along with an inscription expressing the nation's gratitude and recogni
Saturday Morning Message: Our Change of Thoughts on Mortality Saturday Morning Message: Our Change of Thoughts on Mortality Saturday Morning Message: Our Change of Thoughts on Mortality Carol Lane Good Morning, The picture this week shows the sunset over the water. Although I don't live near a lake or the ocean, I do live by a relatively large river. It's one place I like to go to think about questions like the one from this week's Saturday Morning Message about the change of ideas after the death of a loved one. In an article from the TAPS Magazine
Saturday Morning Message: Thankful for TAPS Saturday Morning Message: Thankful for TAPS Saturday Morning Message: Thankful for TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, Because it is Thanksgiving weekend, this Saturday Morning Message features a list of resources TAPS provides that I am thankful for as a survivor. Since a list of all the programs would make this message too long, I've only included some of the programs, but you can learn about all TAPS programs at http://www.taps.org. The picture today is from the TAPS website showing a surviv
Run and Remember: Running the MCM for TAPS Run and Remember: Running the MCM for TAPS Run and Remember: Running the MCM for TAPS David Easley In 2010, Telos Corporation had been a financial sponsor of TAPS for several years, but wanted to step up its involvement with this great organization. The company decided to do this by accepting the Corporate Challenge with TAPS Run and Remember Team. Telos employees would train for and run the Marine Corps Marathon (MCM) in memory of a fallen service member and each Telos runner would be connec
Books to Help Your Child Books to Help Your Child Books to Help Your Child Andrea Hug When your child faces the death of a loved one, his or her primary support system is profoundly impacted. Your family must find new ways to communicate as you all move through the loss. Sharing your feelings and experiences is really important, and while a direct conversation is good, you may not get as much information as you’d like. You might get only brief answers without thoughtful consideration about how your child really feels
10 Things We Know to Be True about Suicide Loss 10 Things We Know to Be True about Suicide Loss 10 Things We Know to Be True about Suicide Loss \| TAPS TAPS Losing someone you love to suicide comes with complex grief. You might catch yourself asking why or what if or even wrestling with guilt, thinking you could have done something more — "If only I would have..." or "I should have known something was wrong." These questions, though raw and overwhelming — especially in grief — and processing these questions over time and with support can he
July Was Not Kind July Was Not Kind July Was Not Kind Linda Ambard I took a terrible fall out running at the end of July. Both arms were scraped, and my left rib cage and leg were criss-crossed with terrible scrapes. I knew the right side of my body was traumatized, but I never even recognized the unseen injuries that haunt me know. One and a half weeks after that spill, I came home from a relatively short run for me. Within an hour, I could not use my right leg. My leg buckled and locked. I couldn't get
The Dream, Revised The Dream, Revised The Dream, Revised Tabitha Bonilla A glimpse into my thoughts this past September 11th anniversary… I feel like sometimes the outside world looks at me differently. I feel the pressure of others that I should "move on" since my losses occurred ten years ago. It is different on September 11th though. On that day, people pause in their everyday life, even if it is just for a moment. They remember. On this day, I feel like the world gets it, if only just for a day. I ca
Reflections of Yesterday Reflections of Yesterday Reflections of Yesterday Bob Bagosy On September 23, 2013 I traveled to the UK with a group of TAPS parents, who just like me, had their son die in Iraq, Afghanistan, or at home. We went to the UK to meet and visit fellow parents who had their sons die in military service. On September 24, 2013 I arrived in London and took a taxi to our hotel, the Victory Service Club - a British Military Club built in 1907 in the heart of London. I spent some time with TAPS peop
Veterans Day Reflection Veterans Day Reflection Veterans Day Reflection Janna Schaefer Veterans Day, for many, is the celebration of our men and women in uniform. For myself and family, it is the day we lost our husband, father, son, brother and friend. SSGT Stephen M. Schaefer (USAF) was 31 when he died that morning as a result of his service in Desert Storm. This Veterans Day will mark the 20th anniversary of his death. Sometimes it is as though it were yesterday and I can recall each moment, and other times it
Saturday Morning Message: Honoring Our Loved Ones On Memorial Day Saturday Morning Message: Honoring Our Loved Ones On Memorial Day Honoring Our Loved Ones On Memorial Day \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message TAPS Good Morning, TAPS families from across the country will gather both in person and virtually for our 27th Annual National Military Seminar and Good Grief Camp over Memorial Day Weekend. This is always a weekend full of love and connection among survivors supporting survivors. As we come together to honor our nation's fallen heroes, our lov
Saturday Morning Message: How Do You Relieve Stress? Saturday Morning Message: How Do You Relieve Stress? How Do You Relieve Stress? \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message TAPS Good Morning, Reflection of emotions from our grief journey, a journey we did not choose, can sometimes lead us astray and away from family, friends and the peacefulness of nature. Navigating our experiences together and seeing the beauty that surrounds us can refuel us to reach out and connect with others at TAPS. As we walk together through our grief, let us pause to see the
Saturday Morning Message: May is a Month of Remembrance Saturday Morning Message: May is a Month of Remembrance May is a Month of Remembrance \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message TAPS Good Morning, You are in our hearts as we step into May. With the whole nation around us contemplating military appreciation this month, we hold close a reverence that comes from personal sacrifice. While we don’t want others to know such sacrifice, we hope to spread awareness of how Americans can truly appreciate those who have served and given their lives to our countr
Military Mentor of the Year: Captain John Rhoten TAPS Military Mentor of the Year: Captain John Rhoten TAPS Military Mentor of the Year: Captain John Rhoten TAPS Walking Alongside the Children of America’s Fallen Heroes John Rhoten, a native of Stafford, Virginia, enlisted in the U.S. Army in 2002. Since that time he has deployed to Iraq twice and Afghanistan twice. John started in the Infantry and is currently a Military Intelligence officer. He is married and has two daughters. Currently, he serves at Schofield Barracks, Hawaii with the
Book Shelf: Surviving the Holidays Without You: Navigating Grief During Special Seasons Book Shelf: Surviving the Holidays Without You: Navigating Grief During Special Seasons Book Shelf: Surviving the Holidays Without You: Navigating Grief During Special Seasons Kelly Griffith After my brother died in December 2011, I didn’t know what to do when I woke up on Christmas morning. His death was still real. I didn’t want to have Christmas without him. So, I didn’t. The second Christmas without Sam physically here, I wanted to find a way to honor his life and still feel him near me.
Letters from TAPS: Navigating Men’s Grief Letters from TAPS: Navigating Men’s Grief Letters from TAPS: Navigating Men’s Grief Gabriel Rao Dear TAPS Family, What does it feel like to hike the Appalachians' most challenging peaks? To reel in a trout while fly fishing in a remote corner of Montana's breathtaking wilderness? To share these experiences with a group of men who get it? Profound. Recent evolutions at TAPS provide a space solely for men to explore beautiful locales of our great American landscape while navigating togethe
TAPS Volunteer Recognition TAPS Volunteer Recognition TAPS Volunteer Recognition TAPS TAPS is extremely grateful for the overwhelming support we've received in recognition of our efforts to reach out to grieving military families, providing them with compassionate, emotional support and connecting them with multiple resources and TAPS programs. We realize this is an effort we cannot do alone. We are truly thankful for all of our supporters and donors. Now in its eight year,, the Colorado Celebrity Golf Classic b
Saturday Morning Message: Letting Others Know You Love Them Saturday Morning Message: Letting Others Know You Love Them Saturday Morning Message: Letting Others Know You Love Them Carol Lane Good Morning, This week’s question centered around letting others know that you love them while you are grieving the loss of an important person in your life. This is not easy - especially when you are early in your grief journey. When you are new to grief, it can be hard to focus on anything for more than a few minutes at a time. What do you do? For me, I ac
A Different Path A Different Path A Different Path Randy Beard Why is it that human beings, when faced with the unknowable, develop expectations of how it is going to be? I really had no idea what my journey of grief was going to be like, but that didn’t stop me from developing unfounded expectations. Of course not! The problem with those expectations is that they added extra stress to my already burdened soul. Not only did I experience the grief, but I also experienced the failure of not meeting my ri
Grief Rumination Spiral, Part 3: 5 Tips to Calm Your Anxious Mind Grief Rumination Spiral, Part 3: 5 Tips to Calm Your Anxious Mind Heather Stang, M.A., C-IAYT * TAPS Advisory Board In part two of the Grief Rumination Spiral series, Helpful vs. Harmful Thoughts, we explored the kinds of thoughts that help grief move and the kinds that tend to keep us stuck. If you've begun to notice your own patterns, you're already doing the most important part: bringing awareness to what's happening inside you. Now, let's talk about what to do with that awareness. Wor
Run with TAPS in 2019 Run with TAPS in 2019 Run with TAPS in 2019 \| TAPS TAPS It’s not too late to commit to setting your resolution to run with TAPS in 2019. We’ve got two fun races coming up in February and March, with each race offering multiple distances for every level of runner. Photo: TAPS Archive The last day to register for the Disney Princess Half Marathon Weekend is Monday, January 28. The weekend event will be held February 21-24 in Orlando, Florida. Entries are available for all distances—5K, 10K, h
TAPS Honored as 2017 Top-Rated Nonprofit TAPS Honored as 2017 Top-Rated Nonprofit TAPS Honored as 2017 Top-Rated Nonprofit TAPS TAPS is pleased to announce that it has been honored with a prestigious 2017 Top-Rated Award by GreatNonprofits, the leading provider of user reviews about nonprofit organizations. “We are excited to be named a Top-Rated 2017 Nonproft,” says Bonnie Carroll, TAPS President and Founder. “We are humbled that so many of our survivors and volunteers took time to tell others how the TAPS mission has impacted
Explore Museums for Free This Summer Explore Museums for Free This Summer Explore Museums for Free This Summer TAPS Participation in Blue Star Museums is one of our favorite ways to enjoy the summer season! From Memorial Day through Labor Day each year, Blue Star Families partners with the National Endowment for the Arts to bring you free admission to more than 2,000 museums across the country. We love this program because museums are great places to learn with your families, and create lasting memories. Our friends at the A
Sharing Your Story Sharing Your Story Sharing Your Story \| TAPS Rachel Hunsell I am the story I tell myself, and so are you. We are, like the books we read, a series of chapters bound together by our values, our experiences, our choices and our sense of self. When people we love die, it can feel like the pages we’d set aside for those chapters in our lives have been rewritten, but not by our own pen. It’s as if these pages were drafted without our choice, without our storytelling. But as we come together in
TAPS Advocacy in Action TAPS Advocacy in Action TAPS Advocacy in Action TAPS Your TAPS Policy Team is extremely busy advocating for our surviving families! We testified before Congress on five separate occasions and submitted statements for the record on important survivor issues. TAPS also advocates for our surviving families through the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) Federal Advisory Committee on Veterans’ Families, Caregivers, and Survivors and Chairs the Survivor Subcommittee. We continue to brief leadersh
New Poll Released from National Action Alliance on Suicide Prevention New Poll Released from National Action Alliance on Suicide Prevention New Poll Released from National Action Alliance on Suicide Prevention \| TAPS TAPS Earlier today, as part of National Suicide Prevention Week, the National Action Alliance on Suicide Prevention released the results of its national poll that was conducted in partnership with the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention and The Harris Poll. The poll showed that Americans overwhelmingly believe that suicide can be prevented,
Friends of TAPS: DynCorp Friends of TAPS: DynCorp Friends of TAPS: DynCorp TAPS Since 2001, DynCorp International has lost 84 teammates while supporting our nation’s foreign policy objectives. The sacrifice of these contractors is not widely known nor heralded except by their families and friends. Our nation asked their loved ones to go to war serving beside our military. Their families deserve our respect and embrace. DynCorp staff wear red shirts on Friday to show support for the Armed Forces. In recognition of
Summer Reading List for Kids Summer Reading List for Kids Summer Reading List for Kids Jonathan Kirkendall I was lucky enough to have a mom that loved to read to us as we grew up, so it’s no surprise that when I began as a group leader at Good Grief Camps, I turned to books to help the kids talk about their own grief. Over the years, I come back to many of the same books over and over again. My strong suggestion is that you read them first before reading them out loud to your kids – some of them are very moving! The F
Team TAPS Participates in Windy25 Memorial 5K Team TAPS Participates in Windy25 Memorial 5K Team TAPS Participates in Windy25 Memorial 5K TAPS Our TAPS family extends our sincere condolences to the families whose loved ones died or were injured in the tragic shooting at Fort Hood, Texas. TAPS is actively helping the families of the victims. Our assistance and support will be unwavering. The TAPS Run and Remember Team participated in the 4th Annual Windy25 Memorial 5K on Saturday in Las Vegas, Nevada. The Windy25 Memorial 5K is ded
A Father's Reflection from the UK A Father's Reflection from the UK A Father's Reflection from the UK Sandy Elliot Private Kevin Elliott, 3rd Battalion, The Black Watch, Royal Regiment of Scotland. That's how the Army knew my son; it's not how I knew him. My son Kevin joined the army in 2002. He served in Northern Ireland and Iraq, and finally in Afghanistan where he died on 31st August 2009. He was 24 years old. Kevin was due to leave the army in March 2009. He had passed his medical and was ready for civvy (civilian)
Our Marine Corps Birthday Tradition Our Marine Corps Birthday Tradition Our Marine Corps Birthday Tradition Bob Bagosy On November 09, 2008, I drove from Atlanta, GA to Camp Lejeune, NC to pick up my son, Tommy. We were making the long drive to Philadelphia, PA to attend the Marine Corps Birthday at a small corner bar in the heart of South Philadelphia. The bar, Cookies Tavern, was founded by a Marine who served in Vietnam in 1968. The bar is very, very small. It is similar to one found in a lot of eastern cities and is no bigg
TAPS Issues Tips for the Public Seeking to Express Sympathy or Support for the Families of Those Who Died in the Navy Yard TAPS Issues Tips for the Public Seeking to Express Sympathy or Support for the Families of Those Who Died in the Navy Yard TAPS Issues Tips for the Public Seeking to Express Sympathy or Support for the Families of Those Who Died in the Navy Yard TAPS The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS), issues the following statement: We are saddened by the loss of life and injuries in a shooting incident at the U.S. Navy Yard in Washington D.C. yesterday. TAPS stands ready to assist families
Bereavement Counseling Bereavement Counseling Bereavement Counseling TAPS Department of Veterans Affairs Vet Centers When America experienced the terrorist attack on September 11, 2001, TAPS was there in the Pentagon Family Assistance Center providing comfort and support for all those who lost loved ones on that fateful day. Hundreds of TAPS Peer Mentors volunteered their time over the course of six weeks, traveling to Washington, DC for a week, living in the Center's headquarters hotel, and offering comfort to th
Education Support Services Education Support Services Education Support Services Ashlynne Haycock-Lohmann My dad, Sergeant First Class Jeffrey Haycock, died while training to deploy in 2002 when I was only ten years old. Education was extremely important to him; he actually made me learn all fifty states and their capitals before I started kindergarten. Pursuing a higher education was not optional; his kids would go to college. When he died, attaining his dreams for us seemed uncertain. I always knew, though, that I wo
Enough Enough Enough Michele Hiester Marcum I had the privilege of spending New Year’s Day with my third-grade scouts, shivering at our local state park. What was intended to be a lesson on conservation and environmental responsibility for them turned out to be yet another life lesson for me. Nothing like a chilly 20 degree day and my own words to clear the holiday fog from my brain. Before I explain all that, I need to tell you a little about where I am in my own journey. For many reasons, this ha
The Importance of Hope The Importance of Hope The Importance of Hope Alan Wolfelt Excerpted from The Mourner’s Book of Hope: 30 Days of Inspiration “Today… I open my heart’s hand to allow the touch of hope.” ~ Julia Cameron Someone you love has died. In your heart you have come to know your deepest pain. Your grief has brought challenges that seem beyond your own capacity to survive. Grief creates chaos, and your soul cries out. You naturally experience a sense of helplessness and, at times, you feel the d
Alcohol is Not the Answer Alcohol is Not the Answer Alcohol is Not the Answer Margaret Gerner We are frequently cautioned about the dangers of mixing alcohol and drugs. We are frequently cautioned about the dangers of mixing alcohol and driving. We are seldom cautioned about the danger of mixing alcohol with grief. The shrieking pain of early grief tempts the bereaved to escape in any way they can—to shut out the terrible reality of their loss, even for a short time. Usually they are not eating properly or sleep
The Honorable Celestial Discharge The Honorable Celestial Discharge The Honorable Celestial Discharge Colleen Betlach New terminology to bring comfort and hope As the holiday season approaches and our thoughts turn to holiday music, miracles, lights, and angelic hosts, I am reminded of a Thanksgiving night that I experienced many years ago while working at a VA Medical Center (VAMC). It was then that I first heard of an Honorable Celestial Discharge. I began my work at a VAMC shortly after my own Honorable Medical Dischar
There’s Still Time to Put on Those Running Shoes for TAPS! There’s Still Time to Put on Those Running Shoes for TAPS! There’s Still Time to Put on Those Running Shoes for TAPS! \| TAPS TAPS The Team TAPS Virtual Fundraiser Campaign is going through December 31. The pandemic hasn’t stopped us from lacing up and running, jumping on our bikes, or hiking a trail as we honor our fallen military and raise funds to support the vital programs of TAPS. Get Involved You can still participate in our virtual campaign or make a resolution t
Let the Volunteer Journey Begin Let the Volunteer Journey Begin Let the Volunteer Journey Begin \| TAPS Clynton Trewyn Editor’s note: Clynton Trewyn, who has served as a TAPS military mentor, recently started a blog. He decided to make his first post about something close to his heart. This blog entry, which first appeared on his site, Volunteer Ripple, has been adapted for use on the TAPS website. I’ve been blessed enough to travel the country volunteering with TAPS over the last four years. By caring for survivors griev
Saturday Morning Message: TAPS Seminar Enjoyment Saturday Morning Message: TAPS Seminar Enjoyment Saturday Morning Message: TAPS Seminar Enjoyment Carol Lane Good Morning, Going to a TAPS Seminar for the first time can be stressful, especially if you are attending alone. I remember the first time I flew into the Reagan National Airport in Washington, D.C., for the TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp held each May. I wasn’t sure what I would find, but when I entered the hotel, there were TAPS staff members waiting to
Video: TAPS Mission Impact Video: TAPS Mission Impact Video: TAPS Mission Impact TAPS Media Over 75,000 surviving military family members are part of the TAPS family. They are fully supported 24/7 with compassionate care by a professional staff trained in best practices and offering resources for hope and healing. Thanks to the support of our donors in 2017, TAPS achieved amazing milestones throughout the year in providing comfort to the TAPS family. We hope you'll watch our Mission Impact video and know that we apprec
Saturday Morning Message: What In Nature Reminds You Most Of Your Loved One? Saturday Morning Message: What In Nature Reminds You Most Of Your Loved One? What In Nature Reminds You Most Of Your Loved One? \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message TAPS Good Morning, Whether you lend a hand to a neighbor, volunteer at your favorite organization or give back to TAPS, we honor your service to others. We also acknowledge that taking care of ourselves, first and foremost, is important, if we are to be at our best when serving and supporting others. And, we recognize that having the
Saturday Morning Message: Women Who Have Had Positive Impacts On Our Grief Journey Saturday Morning Message: Women Who Have Had Positive Impacts On Our Grief Journey Women Who Have Had Positive Impacts On Our Grief Journey \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message TAPS Good Morning, As we welcome in the fresh spring air around the country, we are reminded nature is blooming all around us. Our winter slumber is now behind us allowing for new beginnings and acknowledging the busyness spring and summer has to offer. So this may be a good time to pause and reflect on ways to reduce stre
6 Things I Wish I Knew as a New Widow 6 Things I Wish I Knew as a New Widow 6 Things I Wish I Knew as a New Widow August Cabrera Beginning the widow walk is a struggle, but there are some basic truths that would have helped me navigate those first few months with maybe a bit more grace and certainly more confidence. Here’s what I’ve learned since then, in hopes of making the start of your grief journey a tiny bit easier. 1. You can’t screw this up. People will judge, you’ll be looked at strangely, and the worst part is that t
8 Ways to Cope After a Suicide Loss 8 Ways to Cope After a Suicide Loss 8 Ways to Cope After a Suicide Loss Carla Stumpf Patton Coping with suicide loss can feel devastating. In its aftermath, it can bring overwhelming, mixed emotions and questions about how and why this happened. More importantly, we wonder how we are going to survive with what feels like an insurmountable level of pain and loss. But, we can and do survive, and there are fellow survivors who offer us hope that our hearts can heal. A group of military survivors
Grasping the Magnitude of the Sacrifice Grasping the Magnitude of the Sacrifice Grasping the Magnitude of the Sacrifice \| TAPS Angel Munoz My name is Angel Munoz. I am a veteran of the United States Army, and this is my family's story. Along with having the distinct honor of calling myself a veteran, I can also call myself a proud sister of three brothers who also served in the military, and they all served in this war with Iraq. The youngest of the brothers both served in Iraq as Marines and the oldest of the boys, Army Spc. Rober
Sharing Your Story: Healing Through The Media Sharing Your Story: Healing Through The Media Sharing Your Story: Healing Through The Media Kelly Griffith When three Marines came to my door the morning of Dec. 14, 2011, I had never felt so alone even though I was immediately surrounded by people. Then came the phone calls and inquiries for interviews from journalists. It was jarring. I wanted to hide away somewhere, but the world wanted to watch me grieve. A journalist by trade, I was used to questions - from the other side of the notep
TAPS Joins Letter to Candidates on Honoring Families of the Fallen TAPS Joins Letter to Candidates on Honoring Families of the Fallen TAPS Joins Letter to Candidates on Honoring Families of the Fallen TAPS (Updated August 2, 2016) To the military and veterans communities, nothing is more sacred or honored than the families of those who are grieving the death of their fallen military hero, a member of our armed forces who has died while serving their country. More than a hundred years ago, the President of the United States wrote reverently to a grieving m
Saturday Morning Message: Making Friends at a TAPS Event Saturday Morning Message: Making Friends at a TAPS Event Saturday Morning Message: Making Friends at a TAPS Event Carol Lane Good Morning, Coming to a TAPS event alone can make us wonder how "we will fit in, how we will be treated, and what the event will be like". That was the question last week and many have written to say they will be waiting for this week's answers. Some who answered this question talked about attending a TAPS event and others addressed going out socially after the loss.
The Hike to Healing The Hike to Healing The Hike to Healing Gavin Bradshaw Cory J. Smith. The man that would unknowingly send me to Alaska to be surrounded by the love and support of others on the grief journey like me. I have been a part of the TAPS family for many years, but never have I shared a bond like this with another group of adult children. We traveled to the "Last Frontier," not knowing quite what to expect and maybe for a few, like myself, questioning what exactly we were hoping to get out of this
Healing Through Writing Healing Through Writing Healing Through Writing Artis Henderson When my husband CW2 Miles Henderson was killed in Iraq in November 2006, I felt like I had lost everything. Miles was my best friend, my teammate, the reason I got up every morning. Without him, I couldn't imagine a future. Or any future I wanted to be part of. After months of a grief so blinding I could barely function, I realized with great sadness that my life was still going, even without Miles. I started to understand that
Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Activities Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Activities Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Activities Carol Lane Good Morning, This past week, I attended the 23rd Annual TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp in the D.C. area. TAPS Seminars are a time of reflection and connection as we talk with other survivors who walk this journey with us. It is great to meet others in person who have been a part of the Online Community throughout the year. TAPS has given its website a
International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day \| TAPS Carla Stumpf Patton Saturday, November 18, 2023, is International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day (also referred to as ISOSLD or Survivor Day). It is acknowledged as a day of healing throughout the world where all those impacted by suicide loss can connect, honor the lives of their loved ones, and share experiences of support, encouragement, and hope. According to the American Foundation for Suicid
Write On: How Sharing Your Story with TAPS Can Bring Healing to You and Fellow Survivors Write On: How Sharing Your Story with TAPS Can Bring Healing to You and Fellow Survivors Write On: How Sharing Your Story with TAPS Can Bring Healing to You and Fellow Survivors \| TAPS TAPS "[Storytelling] is, in and of itself, a coping skill we can use to heal our hearts." ~ Rachel Hunsell, surviving sister of U.S. Marine Corps Lance Corporal J. Kyle Price, and TAPS Program Manager, Outdoor Engagement Losing a loved one requires facing a full spectrum of emotions, some familiar, some o
International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day \| TAPS Carla Stumpf Patton Saturday, November 19, 2022, is International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day (also referred to as ISOSLD or Survivor Day). It is a day of healing throughout the world where all those impacted by suicide loss can connect with one another, honor the lives of their loved ones, and share experiences of support, encouragement, and hope. According to the American Foundation for Suici
TAPS Friendsgiving TAPS Friendsgiving TAPS Friendsgiving TAPS As we move further into Fall, we begin ushering in the holiday season and are reminded of the importance of family and community. This Fall, we are creating local, one day events across the country where survivors can connect and acknowledge the bittersweet nature of the holidays and the range of emotions that can come along with them. We call this TAPS Friendsgiving. Together, we will tell the stories of those who left empty seats at the table, and
International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day \| TAPS Carla Stumpf Patton International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day, commonly referred to as ISOSLD or Survivor Day, is on Saturday, November 20, 2021. It is declared as a day of healing throughout the world, where all those impacted by suicide loss can connect around the lives of their loved ones and share their experiences of support, encouragement, and hope. According to The American Foundation for
Three Ways to Boost Memories of Loved Ones This Holiday Season Three Ways to Boost Memories of Loved Ones This Holiday Season Three Ways to Boost Memories of Loved Ones This Holiday Season \| TAPS Allison Gilbert We know holidays can be challenging for individuals who’ve lost loved ones, but they also offer opportunities for keeping memories alive. Below are three of my favorite ways to honor and celebrate the family and friends we never want to forget. Use Social Media If you can’t be with your family for the holidays, share memories of your love
International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day \| TAPS Carla Stumpf Patton International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day, also known as ISOSLD or Survivor Day, is on Saturday, November 21, 2020, and is intended to be a day of healing throughout the world, where all those impacted by suicide loss can connect around the lives of their loved ones and the experiences of hope, support, and encouragement. According to The American Foundation for Suicide Pre
Finding Peace, One Piece at a Time Finding Peace, One Piece at a Time Finding Peace, One Piece at a Time \| TAPS Amy Tucci In life, we refer to our loved one’s possessions as their stuff and things. In death, they signify forever connections to cherished memories. – Rachel Kodanaz Rachel Kodanaz, whose husband, Rod, died suddenly when she was 31, knows of what she writes in her new and immensely helpful book, Finding Peace, One Piece at a Time. Kodanaz found intense meaning and intimacy in Rod’s belongings following his dea
International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day \| TAPS Carla Stumpf Patton International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day is on Saturday, November 23, 2019, and is intended to be a day of healing throughout the world, where all those impacted by suicide loss can connect around the lives of their loved ones and the experiences of hope, support, and encouragement. The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (or AFSP) supports hundreds of community even
Sesame Street’s Resources for Grieving Military Families Sesame Street’s Resources for Grieving Military Families Sesame Street’s Resources for Grieving Military Families \| TAPS TAPS This year, Elmo, Big Bird and the rest of Sesame Street are celebrating 50 years of bringing quality educational programming to households everywhere. Since the show first aired in 1969, its mission is to help kids—including military surviving kids—everywhere grow smarter, stronger and kinder. Sesame Workshop, the nonprofit organization that produces Sesame Street,
International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day \| TAPS Carla Stumpf Patton International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day is on Saturday, November 17, 2018 and is intended to be a day of healing throughout the world, where all those who are affected by suicide loss can connect around the lives of their loved ones and the experiences of hope, support and encouragement. On this day, survivors will gather around the world in small and large events in local c
Keeping up with Your Benefits Keeping up with Your Benefits Keeping up with Your Benefits \| TAPS Kathy Moakler Sometimes it can be confusing to keep up with all the changes to survivor benefits. TAPS is here to keep you informed of new changes and to assist you with previous benefits. Here is an update on what’s new. New FEDVIP program for Dental and Vision Care Do you use the TRICARE Retiree Dental Program? This program will end on December 31, 2018 and be replaced by the Federal Employees Dental and Vision Insurance
International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day \| TAPS Carla Stumpf Patton International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day is on Saturday, November 18, 2017 and is intended to be a day of healing throughout the world, where all those impacted by suicide loss can connect around the lives of their loved ones and the shared stories of hope, support, and encouragement. The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention or AFSP, oversees more than 350 host location
Moments Captured Forever: Behind the Lens for TAPS Moments Captured Forever: Behind the Lens for TAPS Moments Captured Forever: Behind the Lens for TAPS Paige Williams Lenzy Ruffin has been a volunteer with TAPS since the 2016 National Military Survivor Seminar. He took amazing photos during the weekend event to capture the meaning and connection of the TAPS family. Since then, he also covered the Army Ten-Miler in October for Team TAPS. Before becoming a professional photographer, Lenzy served as a lieutenant in the U.S. Army. TAPS is so gra
New Policy Affects Surviving Children with Special Needs New Policy Affects Surviving Children with Special Needs New Policy Affects Surviving Children with Special Needs TAPS New legislation now allows eligible surviving children with disabilities and incapacitated adult dependents to have their Survivor Benefit Plan payment made to a Special Needs Trust. Previously, a Special Needs Trust did not qualify to receive payments from a survivor benefit plan. What it means for survivors who receive payments from a Survivor Benefit Plan Why is this i
Letters from TAPS: TAPS Seminars Letters from TAPS: TAPS Seminars Letters from TAPS: TAPS Seminars Emily Munoz Dear TAPS Family, When this issue reaches your hands, the holiday season will be upon us. While the rest of the world opens up with holiday spirit, those of us who are not at home in a world of celebration may be tempted to close ourselves off, shield ourselves somehow. Worn down by the powerful, insistent tug of how much is missing, we can feel out of place. We wonder if continuity of tradition will bring us
Letters from TAPS: From the Volunteer Coordinator Letters from TAPS: From the Volunteer Coordinator Letters from TAPS: From the Volunteer Coordinator Jerome Tennille Dear TAPS Family, Nearly twenty-eight years ago in 1985, the General Assembly of the United Nations designated December 5 of every year as International Volunteer Day. It is an annual celebration of all that is achieved by volunteers around the world. As we observe that special day and enter the season of winter holidays, with their emphasis on light and warmth and giving, I
The Poems of Sascha Wagner The Poems of Sascha Wagner The Poems of Sascha Wagner Betsy Beard This holiday season, if you are looking for a gift to give to yourself and perhaps to others who grieve, I would like to recommend The Poems of Sascha Wagner. It’s a volume of poetry sold exclusively by The Compassionate Friends (TCF). TCF was started in England almost forty-five years ago and has grown to become an international self-help organization offering friendship, understanding, and hope to families that have experienc
Running with the TAPS Family Running with the TAPS Family Running with the TAPS Family Regina Vitt When a family you know loses a spouse and a father, you want to do anything you can to make life easier for them. Sometimes, it can be difficult to find ways to help. Are you going to say or do something wrong? Are you going to be more of a burden than a help? Do they really want your help at the time? Other times, being able to help just comes naturally. I didn't give it a second thought when Rachael asked family and
Agency Over Agent Orange Agency Over Agent Orange Agency Over Agent Orange \| TAPS Claire Henline “Hey ‘CG’ Can I get you anything?” It was the question my dad always asked me when I was really sick. The kind of sick he could tell just by the look of me — a crumpled up little lump of ginger lethargy on the couch with my woobie — was not just the ‘7 to 2 get out of school flu’ I sometimes came down with. It came in a tone of deep sincerity and earnest determination to fix it however best he could. His hea
October is Emotional Wellness Month October is Emotional Wellness Month October is Emotional Wellness Month \| TAPS TAPS This article was first published on the TAPS website on October 1, 2021 and has been updated with additional resources. As members of the TAPS family, we either know (or are learning) that even in the midst of heartache, we can find moments of comfort and connection. It doesn’t always come naturally - it isn’t easy to balance the needs of grieving and living. Yet, when we’re navigating major life transition
TAPS Care Groups: Finding Safety in Numbers TAPS Care Groups: Finding Safety in Numbers TAPS Care Groups: Finding Safety in Numbers Zaneta Gileno Sadness and grief are normal responses to loss. For many, especially those who suffer the unexpected or traumatic loss of a loved one, post traumatic stress compounds the grief response, making it even more difficult for surviving loved ones to integrate the loss into their lives. The need to be understood and to connect with others who understand is a key to finding hope and healing. TAPS
Children’s Books for the Summer Children’s Books for the Summer Children’s Books for the Summer Cheryl Kreutter By and large, the books reviewed here describe how empathy (an emotion) prompts compassion (an action). Each will appeal in different ways to different readers at different times. Characters are identifiable and real, and illustrations appropriately support the story, theme or concept. Most importantly, these are books that invite readers to discuss their own thoughts and feelings about loss as well as consider wa
Finding Hope Amid Devastating Loss: A Military Widow Who Lost her Marine to Suicide Shares Her Story Finding Hope Amid Devastating Loss: A Military Widow Who Lost her Marine to Suicide Shares Her Story Finding Hope Amid Devastating Loss: A Military Widow Who Lost her Marine to Suicide Shares Her Story Kim Ruocco My name is Kim Ruocco and I am the widow of United States Marine Major John Ruocco, who died by suicide at age 40 in 2005. John was an incredible husband, son, father to our two boys, and Marine. He was dedicated and passionate in everything he did. John joined the Marines in 198
Boxes in the Attic Boxes in the Attic Boxes in the Attic Betsy Beard Sorting, keeping, giving, and storing our loved ones’ personal effects Many of us have been faced with multiple shipments of personal effects from various corners of the world. Others of us are denied any access to the items that might help us feel more connected to our loved ones. Wherever we find ourselves on the scale of ownership of personal effects, the pain is immeasurable and long-lasting. I turned my head slightly as I drove, che
Stop, Look, Listen Stop, Look, Listen Stop, Look, Listen Darcie Sims When was the last time you did nothing? Do you ever just sit anymore? Do you ever just lie on your back in new mown grass and watch the clouds dance by? Do you ever chase after butterflies, trying to give them a message to carry? Or dangle your toes in a pond or watch kids dash through a sprinkler? Do you ever sit on a porch or patio and smell the grass, the flowers, the air? Do you even have a porch or patio and do you know what sitting
Military Children and Grief Military Children and Grief Military Children and Grief Betsy Beard Judith Mathewson Tina Saari and Heather Campagna After the flag is folded, and after the last echoing notes of Taps have sounded on the bugle, the overwhelming grief of losing a parent in military service comes to rest squarely on shoulders too small, too fragile, too young, and too inexperienced to bear the burden alone. Tucked away from the public spotlight, the grief following a military death continues for months and ye
Healing Is In Session Healing Is In Session Healing Is In Session \| TAPS Emily Munoz I’ve had a song in my head since last November. It’s an old Van Morrison song that stays for a week or so, then floats away — until it comes back again some days later, always nudging me with the same line, “…and the healing has begun.” It just will not let me go. Usually, when I have a prolonged earworm like that, there’s a reason — or at least a trigger. Sometimes it’s a musical phrase (there was a commercial for a ski resort
The Legacy Lives On The Legacy Lives On The Legacy Lives On \| TAPS Kristi Stolzenberg Ashlynne Haycock-Lohmann is in her element walking the halls of Congress. The echoes of advocacy, the rushed click clack of heels on the marble floors, and the hush that sweeps the room as a committee hearing comes to order - she answers it all with a steady hand. For Ashlynne, these are the sounds of progress for military and veteran survivors - progress she personally knows is necessary, progress that became her why years ag
Saturday Morning Message: Month of the Military Caregiver Saturday Morning Message: Month of the Military Caregiver Month of the Military Caregiver \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Coleen Bowman Good Morning, As we enter the month of May, as we do every day, TAPS will honor all who have served and died. We are also honoring our Military caregivers, as May is the Month of the Military Caregiver. During this time, we would like to pause for a moment and acknowledge your sacrifice as a caregiver. Being a caregiver to your loved one can take a toll on y
Grief and Sleep Grief and Sleep Grief and Sleep \| TAPS Heather Stang 7 Tips to Cope with Insomnia After Loss Coping with grief isn’t easy. In addition to the emotional toll, there are a myriad of physical side effects. Sleeplessness is perhaps one of the most frustrating symptoms – when you are sleepy and can’t sleep it just adds insult to injury. While insomnia is considered a common grief reaction, sleeplessness should not be ignored, but tended to mindfully. When we don’t get enough sleep it impacts
You are Warmly Welcome to Join Us on Memorial Day Weekend 2019 You are Warmly Welcome to Join Us on Memorial Day Weekend 2019 Join us on Memorial Day Weekend 2019 \| TAPS TAPS Just as the stars brighten the night, our TAPS family brings light into the darkness of grief. At the 25th Annual TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp, we’ll focus on the light of the love we have shared and continue to share. We’ll look more deeply into our own processes, reflect on our strengths, learn how we can give and accept support, and contemplate how
Grief Grappling: Fighting for a New Normal Grief Grappling: Fighting for a New Normal Grief Grappling: Fighting for a New Normal Sandra Egts Grief Demands Attention There is tremendous shock, confusion and even denial that accompanies sudden death. It is equally traumatic to watch the prolonged suffering of those you love. Regardless of how grief comes for you, it will. It is the great, dark hunter. You can't ignore grief. It tracks you down and demands its rightful share of your life, no matter what the circumstance. Back in the ea
Children’s Bereavement and Emotional Wellness, Part 2 Children’s Bereavement and Emotional Wellness, Part 2 Children’s Bereavement and Emotional Wellness, Part 2 Andrea Hug As grieving parents, we are concerned about the care and support we are able to offer our grieving children. How can we help children bounce back when they have experienced a profound loss or trauma? How do we offer good bereavement support for children? How do we help others to help our children? Consider the following topics in light of your child’s loss. Go through the bul
Grief Causing Physical Pain? Turns Out, That’s Pretty Normal. Grief Causing Physical Pain? Turns Out, That’s Pretty Normal. Kathleen Ferraro In the weeks after my father died, I was numb. And then one day, about two months later, bam. My neck muscles were so tight I couldn’t turn my head, my stomach churned in ways unrelated to hunger, my jaw was clenched shut, and my limbs were heavy with exhaustion. The physical effects of grief had finally caught up with me. Over the next few years, these physical health issues came in waves — sometimes a heada
Faces of TAPS: Surviving Sister Ideliz Mora-Cruz’s Story Faces of TAPS: Surviving Sister Ideliz Mora-Cruz’s Story Faces of TAPS: Surviving Sister Ideliz Mora-Cruz’s Story \| TAPS TAPS Ideliz Mora-Cruz Faces of TAPS is a digital content series where, in their own words, survivors both celebrate the lives of their military loved ones and reflect on their personal grief journey. Ideliz Mora-Cruz is the surviving sister of Army SGT Geraldo Andre Mora Cruz, who died by suicide on March 15, 2015. Ideliz currently works as an Associate with the TAPS Surviv
From Grief to Giving Back: A TAPS Helpline Associate Shares Her Journey From Grief to Giving Back: A TAPS Helpline Associate Shares Her Journey From Grief to Giving Back: A TAPS Helpline Associate Shares Her Journey \| TAPS Kristi Stolzenberg Vanessa Hanna-Verrett There are moments in life when exactly what you need meets you where you are. Some people credit this to a higher power, some give a nod to lucky stars, and others call it chance. Vanessa Hanna-Verrett, a TAPS Helpline associate, doesn’t believe anything happens by chance. Vanessa wasn’t always an associa
Mental Health and the Military: Asking for Help When You Need It Mental Health and the Military: Asking for Help When You Need It Mental Health and the Military: Asking for Help When You Need It \| TAPS Jon Ganues This piece originally appeared in the Real Stories blog of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. I am a survivor of suicide loss, having lost a first cousin, a second cousin, and an Air Force son to suicide. I am also a survivor of suicide ideation. In 1993, while serving as a U.S. Army Warrant Officer, in the 82nd Airborne Division at
Saturday Morning Message: Continuing Our Loved Ones' Habits Saturday Morning Message: Continuing Our Loved Ones' Habits Continuing Our Loved Ones' Habits \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, In my area of the country, fall is coming. This week’s question, combined with the leaves beginning to change color, made me think of a habit I still do that started with my son, Bryon, playing football in high school. Although I didn’t know much about the sport before he decided to play, I learned the names of many plays and what each player
Saturday Morning Message: Show Us How You Display Your Keepsakes Saturday Morning Message: Show Us How You Display Your Keepsakes Show Us How You Display Your Keepsakes \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, The idea for today’s message came from Rachel, mother of Matthew, who sent a picture and wrote, “I wanted to express the emptiness in my heart. Since I'm not good with words and have always loved photography I decided on this. I felt these items best represented my ache at the time. I will forever have "boots in the house." Ra
Saturday Morning Message: To Continue Traditions or Not? Saturday Morning Message: To Continue Traditions or Not? To Continue Traditions or Not? \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, Sometimes it is comforting to go to a place that was special to you and your loved one. This is a photo of Lake Tahoe sent by a survivor, Debbie, spouse of Tom, for inclusion in an earlier Saturday Morning Message. She wrote, “Lake Tahoe will always be my happy place and its magic holds the most incredible memories of joy, happiness and true love th
TAPS In Action TAPS In Action TAPS In Action Candace Wheeler TAPS is committed to supporting and advancing policy and legislation to strengthen the families of America’s fallen military heroes. Our Policy Team listens to the concerns of our surviving military families and advocates on their behalf. We work to educate military and veteran organizations, Members of Congress, and policymakers within the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA), Department of Defense (DoD), and other government agencies to ensure o
Make it Your Mission to Be There for Someone in Crisis Make it Your Mission to Be There for Someone in Crisis Make it Your Mission to Be There for Someone in Crisis \| TAPS Kim Ruocco September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, and military units around the world are joining the Defense Suicide Prevention Office and its partners, including the National Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention, the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors and other organizations that are there for those who are struggling or are in crisis. Suicide is one of the
A New Role to Play A New Role to Play Honoring the Fallen By Helping the Next Generation \| TAPS William Wagasy A Navy SEAL from 2002 to 2012, I had three deployments to Iraq under my belt and had just finished a year-long deployment to Afghanistan when I returned to the United States. I served another six months in the military and transitioned to civilian life, and I was totally lost as to what to do next with my life. I wanted to unplug for a while. I didn’t want to answer to anyone. So, I moved from my du
Facing My Fears on Heartbreak Hill Facing My Fears on Heartbreak Hill Facing My Fears on Heartbreak Hill Linda Ambard The Boston Marathon is going to be my 100th marathon on April 18th. It was never supposed to be my 100th marathon because 100 marathons is usually a time where people come and celebrate the milestone. My 100thmarathon was supposed to be about finishing the Bucket List I had when Phil was killed and starting a new Bucket List for the next chapter in my life. I figured five years would be time enough to be rea
Anxiety? What Anxiety? Anxiety? What Anxiety? Anxiety? What Anxiety? Jenna Henderson Eight and a half years after Chris’ death in Afghanistan, had anyone told me I would be still struggling to find a sense of normalcy, I would have laughed at him or her. Had anyone told me I would be struggling with anxiety some days that almost swallows me whole in one gulp, I would not have believed it. Up until two years ago, I had never had an ounce of anxiety or experienced anxiety or panic attacks in my life, not even for Chr
Beyond My Fears Beyond My Fears Beyond My Fears Linda Ambard A borrowed line from a song sums it up well. "People say that I'm amazing, strong beyond my years, but they don't see inside of me. I'm hiding all my fears." I've been afraid of my very first memories - afraid of fire, darkness, getting lost, fitting in, trying new things, you name it. I quake and feel slightly nauseated when I am confronted with new situations, decisions, predicaments and even surprises. I learned long ago, though, that waiting on
Today Is My Day Today Is My Day Today Is My Day Linda Ambard So many people spend their lives in quiet desperation thinking of one day - someday. I was no different and, at times, I am still stuck in the rut of day-to-day responsibilities and routines. Mired in the frenetic pace and wanting more, never quite reaching that elusive someday, is exactly where I was when Phil was killed. I was happy sitting on the sidelines waiting, but I knew something was missing for me and for my life. When Phil married me,
I Was Married. I'm Widowed. I'm Still Married. I Was Married. I'm Widowed. I'm Still Married. I Was Married. I'm Widowed. I'm Still Married. Shanette Booker He was a tall caramel complexioned man. His smile lit up when he walked into the room. He had a sense of humor that would cheer a person up no matter their mood. His hugs melted away the bad and made your days better. He was born Andre Booker. I knew him as Dre; his military family knew him as Booker. He was a son, a brother, a father, a Marine, a Soldier, a friend, and my husband. Wh
Once Upon A Time Once Upon A Time Once Upon A Time Linda Ambard People often put off doing the things they want to do because they believe there will be a better time for it. I know that Phil and I put off those couple's only dates and vacations because we thought we had time. In fact, I pushed for a Phil and Linda vacation together before his deployment, but he wanted to wait because it wasn't his top priority. It became the desire of his heart while he was deployed, and we had plans for that magical day t
Life is a Gift Life is a Gift Life is a Gift Rachael Hill Every day I wear a black bracelet on my wrist with my husband's name on it. I never take it off. In some respect I feel like even though I had to take my wedding ring off, I still have this daily token to wear that continues to represent him. Sure it has his date of death on it, but it surprisingly doesn't remind me that he died, but rather that he lived! I wear my bracelet with pride. I get excited when people ask me about it, because it gives m
The 10 Year Anniversary The 10 Year Anniversary The 10 Year Anniversary Elizabeth Rozier Lately, I have been struggling with the subjects of my blogs. I write better when it comes from experience and emotion. But from fear of offending in an easily offended world, I have refrained from sharing from my deepest experiences. However, I think some of you can relate to the topic of faith and grief and trying to figure out where they can both exist in our lives together. So, hear my heart. I do not seek to offend, but si
The Mourner's Bill of Rights The Mourner's Bill of Rights The Mourner's Bill of Rights Alan Wolfelt As a bereaved person, you have certain rights that others must not take away from you. In fact, it is the very upholding of these rights that makes healing possible. 1. You have the right to experience your own unique grief. No one else will grieve in exactly the same way you do. Don't allow others to tell you what you should or should not be feeling. 2. You have the right to talk about your grief. Talking about your
The Day Before Our Last Day The Day Before Our Last Day The Day Before Our Last Day Shanette Booker I contemplated just how my 1 year mark would be…what I should expect…and how I think things will be for me. I think my thinking has driven me crazy, and I think that I always expect things to be worse than they are, considering Dre passed away just days after celebrating both his and our son’s birthdays. But then again my mother always said: “Thinking comes from not knowing”, and in this case she definitely was right.
Living the Legacy: Let the Good Days Come Living the Legacy: Let the Good Days Come Living the Legacy ~ Let the Good Days Come Gordon Bolar One of the things that someone said to me shortly after Matthew died in 2007 was this: “There will be some good days and there will be some bad days. Let the good days come and enjoy them.” I didn't believe it at the time but it turned out to be true. When I first heard these words in the wake of losing my son, I wasn't the most optimistic person on the planet. But lately there have been some
What Your Kids Want You to Know What Your Kids Want You to Know Andy McNiel * Senior Advisor, TAPS Youth Programs After a life-altering loss, we — as parents and caregivers — want to know how to support our children, ensuring they grow into successful, happy, and healthy adults despite knowing grief. When they seem OK on the outside, we worry about thoughts and feelings we can’t see. And, even when they are outwardly distressed or their behavior indicates something more is happening, they may not necessarily be communica
Saturday Morning Message: Thankful Thoughts and Holiday Tips Saturday Morning Message: Thankful Thoughts and Holiday Tips Saturday Morning Message: Thankful Thoughts and Holiday Tips Carol Lane Good Morning, As 2016 comes to a close, it is time for many of us to look at where we are now on our grief journey and what has helped us. This week, survivors have shared what they are thankful for in their own lives, and TAPS has pulled together resources on the TAPS website to assist survivors during this time from Thanksgiving to New Year's Day. You can re
All In With TAPS at National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar All In With TAPS at National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar All In With TAPS at National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar Misty Blum About a year ago I was on the phone with the head of Peer Mentor Training for TAPS. We were chatting about the upcoming national seminar taking place in Washington DC. He mentioned that it is a great experience but suggested for my first seminar I should attend the annual suicide seminar because it is so specific to my loss. Well, I know good advice when I h
Run and Remember Team: Finding the FUN in Fundraising Run and Remember Team: Finding the FUN in Fundraising Run and Remember Team: Finding the FUN in Fundraising Betsy Beard Since October of 2000 when the first Run and Remember Team of two runners raised nearly five thousand dollars, fundraising has been a part of the team’s efforts on behalf of TAPS. Not only do TAPS runners spend time training for the event, but they also use their skills and ingenuity to raise awareness and raise funds in support of the TAPS mission. Some runners run only
You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part Five You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part Five You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part Five \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt Editor's Note This is part five of a six-part series adapted from Dr. Alan Wolfelt's book, You're Not Crazy — You're Grieving. Parts one through four were published in the summer 2023, fall 2023, spring 2024, and summer 2024 issues of TAPS Magazine. In early grief, existential questions tend to naturally arise. Why did the person have to die? Why now? Why
How Nature Helps Us Heal After Loss How Nature Helps Us Heal After Loss How Nature Helps Us Heal After Loss \| TAPS Erin Jacobson My senses were in overdrive. My ears filled with the sounds of my feet plodding on dirt and the swish of my arms against my backpack. I heard birds singing and the wind moving through the trees. My nostrils filled with the sharp scent of pine trees. The sun toasted my skin. All around me I could see the breathtaking beauty of Eastern Montana, but the sensation of burning muscles consumed me. I had m
Please Say Their Name: The Importance of Honoring and Remembering Please Say Their Name: The Importance of Honoring and Remembering Please Say Their Name: The Importance of Honoring and Remembering \| TAPS Pamela Gabbay My father, Jerry Henry, was in the Army for my entire childhood. We lived all over the United States and in Germany. I really enjoyed being part of the larger military community. After he retired from the Army, he became a long-distance truck driver who drove an 18-wheeler. Late one night, he crashed his big rig on one of his many runs and di
Knowledge. Connection. Hope. Knowledge. Connection. Hope. The Journey of a Surviving Spouse and Her Daughters Through Illness Loss The Journey of a Surviving Spouse and Her Daughters Through Illness Loss \| TAPS Robyn Thomson Lieutenant Colonel Todd Thomson Lt. Col. Todd Thomson proudly served his country for 20 and a half years. The love he had for being a soldier made him get up in the morning; it made his wheels turn. As a logistics officer, he spent time on various posts in the U.S., South Korea, and Ira
On Memorial Day, We Honor Them On Memorial Day, We Honor Them On Memorial Day, We Honor Them \| TAPS Coleen Bowman Editor's Note: As we move into the month of May, we will be sharing a series of stories from survivors. To begin the month, surviving spouse Coleen Bowman shares her memories and thoughts on this sacred time, memories of the past, reflection on the present, and new traditions for the future. We invite you to share your Memorial Day thoughts or memories by sending your stories to editor@taps.org and also share o
From Caregiver to Survivor From Caregiver to Survivor: Finding New Purpose and Honoring Husband's Legacy From Caregiver to Survivor: Finding New Purpose and Honoring Husband's Legacy \| TAPS Coleen Bowman Editor's note: The TAPS Caregiver to Survivor program provides comfort and care to families whose military loved ones died following an illness. In 2019 alone, TAPS welcomed 2,000 survivors who experienced such a loss. We have developed our new program to focus on the complex nature of this grief, which often begins at
Grandma's Garden of Life Grandma's Garden of Life Grandma's Garden of Life \| TAPS Rachel Hunsell Surrounded by her family, boxes of seeds and bulbs, songs of Sunday morning worship and the sound of rain on her tin roof, my Grandma’s spirit left her earthly body on the morning of my brother’s birthday in 2017. The two are forever intertwined. I’d been working at TAPS for less than two months, facilitating our backcountry expeditions and sharing the healing power of nature with my fellow survivors. Just a few
How to Talk to Children About the Coronavirus: Being Open and Honest Can Offer Reassurance How to Talk to Children About the Coronavirus: Being Open and Honest Can Offer Reassurance How to Talk to Children About the Coronavirus: Being Open and Honest Can Offer Reassurance \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt As the coronavirus spreads across North America and our daily lives are transformed, we all must be aware of the need for good mental-health care. Obviously, it’s a stressful time. Families are confined to their homes. School is canceled. Many businesses are closed. Workers are being laid off e
Prepare Yourself for the Holidays Prepare Yourself for the Holidays Prepare Yourself for the Holidays \| TAPS Bonnie Carroll Alan Wolfelt “Oh that it were possible, after long grief and pain, to find the arms of my true love around me once again.” ~ Alfred Lord Tennyson Because the person who died is no longer there to share the holidays with you, you may feel particularly sad and vulnerable during Christmas, Hanukkah and other holidays that are special to your family. Don’t overextend yourself during the holidays. Don’
How I learned to stop asking why and use my tragedy as a force for good How I learned to stop asking “Why?” and use my tragedy as a force for good How I learned to stop asking “Why?” and use my tragedy as a force for good \| TAPS Don Lipstein September is National Suicide Prevention Month. This article is the last of five stories by TAPS suicide loss survivors who wish to share lessons learned from their grief journeys. We invite you to share this story using the hashtag #SurvivorSunday. If you know or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide, pleas
Saturday Morning Message: Dealing With A Sudden Change Saturday Morning Message: Dealing With A Sudden Change Saturday Morning Message: Dealing With A Sudden Change \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, As we learn to function after the death of a loved one, something unexpected may come along to upset us. Last week Cheryl, mother of Jack, wrote about her dog, Bear, who was a comfort pet. When he passed, she wondered how others have coped when another sudden loss occurs in their lives while healing. Sometimes nothing helps more than a big hug. The pic
Solitude or Social Support in Grief? Solitude or Social Support in Grief? Why We Need Both Solitude or Social Support in Grief? Why We Need Both \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt In many ways, grief is an experience replete with contradictions. We feel like time stops, yet time goes on. We can’t stop thinking about the death, yet we distract ourselves so we won’t think about it. We’re strong, yet we’re weak. We’re resilient, yet we’re vulnerable. Acknowledging and embracing these necessary contradictions (and others) is part of our work of
Saturday Morning Message: God Winks Saturday Morning Message: God Winks Saturday Morning Message: God Winks \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, There were so many interesting God winks sent this week that I think it will take two weeks to share these marvelous moments in our lives. If you have a God wink you would like to share after reading this week’s message, feel free to send it along. I will include it in the monthly Writers’ Circle that is sent to those who request it. The picture this week comes from Debra, wife
Saturday Morning Message: The Story Behind the Name Saturday Morning Message: The Story Behind the Name Saturday Morning Message: The Story Behind the Name Carol Lane Good Morning, This week, spring arrived in my part of the country. My favorite flower is the rose, so I thought I would send a picture to you today. Now that it is warmer, people in my neighborhood stop and talk when they're outside. When I was young, many people would talk about who they were named after and why. This has always been one of my favorite conversations. Survivors
Be Gentle With Me Be Gentle With Me Be Gentle With Me Linda Ambard I thought I knew how my life was going to play out. Sure, both Phil and I were going to grow old and die one day---one day far, far away. A day after a brief illness and a time to get one's affairs in order and to say goodbye to loved ones. Before that one day, some day in the far off future, there was so much more that was supposed to happen. We married when we were both very young and had more children than anyone else. Phil was a Staff S
How Are Pain and Love Connected? How Are Pain and Love Connected? How Are Pain and Love Connected? Franklin Cook As I sat with the other panelists in the opening session of my fourth TAPS National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar, and looked out at the sea of faces of those who had lost a loved one to suicide, I related strongly to the cumulative pain in the room. I often about the author speak about addictive behaviors as a way to numb pain, so I understand the idea that we wish we could escape from the pain of our grief.
Saturday Morning Message: Memories Saturday Morning Message: Memories Saturday Morning Message: Memories Carol Lane Good Morning, This week's message is laid out a bit differently. Since the picture this week is a picture Sue, mother of Marcus, sent in response to last week's question about sharing a memory of our loved ones, I thought it would be good to include her memory in the first part of the message. Here is her memory: "Oct. 25, 2007, started out like a normal Christmas day for our family. WHAT? Christmas in Oct
Healing and Hope After Suicide Healing and Hope After Suicide Healing and Hope After Suicide Iris Bolton Surviving the death of a dear one is to endure great pain. Surviving a suicidal death is to compound that pain, often with guilt, anger, and confusion. Fortunately, hope is on the horizon with of the growing knowledge about grief and traumatic loss. This hope is fueled by a new willingness to talk freely about death. The grief community is learning about the causes of suicide, helping to discover ways to assist with
Helping a Grandparent Who Is Grieving Helping a Grandparent Who Is Grieving Helping a Grandparent Who Is Grieving Alan Wolfelt "When a grandchild dies, grandparents grieve twice. They mourn the loss of the child and they feel the pain of their own child's suffering. Sometimes we forget about the grandparents when a child dies. You can help by not forgetting, by offering the grandparents your love, support and presence in the weeks and months to come." ~ From Healing a Grandparent's Grieving Heart by Alan Wolfelt A child or
Normal Isn’t Normal Anymore Normal Isn’t Normal Anymore Normal Isn’t Normal Anymore Betsy Beard I used to believe, along with author Patsy Clairmont who wrote a humorous book of the same title, that Normal Is Just a Setting on Your Dryer. But it seems like so much more to me, now. When our son died, "normal" flew out the window and hasn't returned. And because of its departure, leaving confusion, chaos, and disarray in its wake, the concept of normal seems far more important now than just a setting on the dryer. And not
Boxes in the Attic: Part Two Boxes in the Attic: Part Two Boxes in the Attic: Part Two Betsy Beard You Can’t Take It With You It is said that one of the tasks of grieving is to relocate the loved one from being a physical presence to that of residing in our hearts and memories. It is not an easy task. And we really don’t want to do it. We just want them to come home and walk in the door. And after a few years, we get it. They’re not coming home. They won’t be watching this movie, reading that book, or wearing those clo
Feelings In the Spaces of My Heart For Which There Are No Words Feelings In the Spaces of My Heart For Which There Are No Words Feelings In the Spaces of My Heart For Which There Are No Words Linda Ambard When Phil's candle burned out far too early, I snuffed out a part of me with him. In the 23 years of marriage, I found a safe harbor to weather the storms in. Before I met Phil, I didn't have laughter in my life and I yearned for a place to call home. Marrying a military man meant that my idea of home changed from a location to a concept. Home was wh
Saturday Morning Message: Honoring Our Loved Ones Saturday Morning Message: Honoring Our Loved Ones Saturday Morning Message: Honoring Our Loved Ones Carol Lane Good Morning, This is a time many come together with friends and family to share holiday recipes and memories. For many survivors, it can also be a time of sadness. Contemplating what you might do to pay tribute to your loved one might can ease those feelings. Honoring your loved one can be on a traditional holiday or one that is special just to your family and friends. This week s
Welcome Home Welcome Home Welcome Home Donna Elm Creating a New Family Refuge We are psychologically tethered to those we love. When they die, we are cut loose from those firm moorings, so we feel adrift, disoriented. When people ask how we are doing, the answer is certain: “We are lost.” We lost Mike on October 14, 2011. On a mission in Afghanistan, he never saw the IED buried in the dirt that he was crossing. We were notified the next morning. For the previous ten months, I had been on the edge of m
Coping with the Holidays Coping with the Holidays Coping with the Holidays TAPS Advice from TAPS Survivors Sometimes people expect us to plaster a smile on our faces and go about the holidays as if nothing were wrong. They don’t understand that every day is a challenge for us, especially in the early years and especially during the winter holiday season. Here are some honest observations from TAPS survivors about coping with the holidays. Although we may have different faith backgrounds and different relationships t
Gaining Strength on the Journey Gaining Strength on the Journey Survivor Father Finds Hope at TAPS Seminar - TAPS News Andy Weiss Remembering, Celebrating, and Sharing with TAPS My family attended the 19th Annual TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar last May. It was an inspiring weekend with our fellow travelers in loss. I marvel at how far this river has swept me downstream from where I first fell in, drowning in my grief. How far I’ve gone and how changed I am! I lost my son, Army First Lieutenant Danny Weiss, on M
Grief 101: Advice to New TAPS Survivors Grief 101: Advice to New TAPS Survivors Grief 101: Advice to New TAPS Survivors TAPS The Saturday Message is a letter that comes through email to TAPS parents, spouses, siblings, and friends. It includes thoughts from the survivors themselves. When one asks a question, the others are free to respond. Asked recently what advice they would give to a newly bereaved person, TAPS survivors responded with powerful and diverse answers. DEB BONN Surviving mother of Ensign Elizabeth Bonn This will
Love and Grief Love and Grief Love and Grief Alan Wolfelt Living as You Were Meant to Live “We are all mirrors unto one another. Look into me and you will find something of yourself as I will of you.” ~ Walter Rinder Love is a sacred partnership of communion with another human being. You take each other in, and even when you are apart, you are together. Wherever you go, you carry the person inside you. Communion means the sharing or exchanging of intimate thoughts and feelings, especially on a spiritual l
She Said, He Said She Said, He Said She Said, He Said Chris Sweet Danielle Balmer Sweet Tech. Sgt. Ryan A. Balmer died June 5, 2007, in Kirkuk, Iraq. He was assigned as Special Agent to the Air Force Office of Special Investigations. Tech. Sgt. Jessica Sweet died February 12, 2009, five months after she was diagnosed with acute myelogenous leukemia. She Said “How am I supposed to kiss you goodbye tomorrow at the airport knowing it might be the last time I see you?” As Ryan stood there that night with his
Taking Action Taking Action Taking Action Alice Daniel Finding meaning in involvement…again After this article was written, Congress passed bipartisan legislation and presented it to the President on January 1, 2013. Included in the legislation is a provision to establish an Open Burn Pit Registry at the VA. 10:45 p.m. The house is quiet; all are sleeping but me. Austin’s been dead for more than three years now. Some things are better. I’m cooking again. We’ve recently moved from our family home of
Introducing Alice Daniel Introducing Alice Daniel Introducing Alice Daniel Alice Daniel "The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new." ~Rajneesh Only sadness has consumed my life more than the word WHY. I came into this world a “daughter.” My father died at 39 years old. I was 12. I thought my world had come to an end. Surely there was no greater pain that could be suffered than to lose your parent.
Taking Action Taking Action Taking Action Alice Daniel 10:45 p.m. The house is quiet, all are sleeping but me. He’s been dead over 3 years now. Some things are better. I’m cooking again. We’ve recently moved from our family home of 26 years. Don’t believe I could have done it early on, but it seems like a good move now. It was painful to watch the little boys in our subdivision chase snakes and frogs in the “coulee”. My boys used to do that, coming in for snacks with billy goat sweat on their noses
In Search of Joy In Search of Joy In Search of Joy Darcie Sims Finding Your Way Through the Darkness Do you know how long it took me to allow laughter and joy to return to my life? Do you know how far it is from this side of the page to your side? Do you know how difficult it is to write about death? It was a long journey. It took me thirty years to get from your side of this page to mine...a long time...actually a whole lifetime! I liked my other life. In fact, I loved it! I hadn't intended to be h
When the Bough Breaks When the Bough Breaks When the Bough Breaks Colleen Betlach Forever After the Death of a Son or Daughter Note: All reviews are the opinions of the reviewer and do not constitute an endorsement on the part of TAPS. I have always been an avid reader. I love books and literature for education and fantasy. Even as my bookshelves filled up, I obtained more. I loved the feel of being in a room full of books, and I was on my way to creating libraries in each room of our home. Whenever I had a pr
Out of Tragedy Out of Tragedy Out of Tragedy Bonnie Carroll TAPS Created to Help Military Survivors Cope Almost 2000 service members make the ultimate sacrifice each year. Many die in sudden, violent, and often well-publicized events. And while conventional wisdom dictates that the newly bereaved not make any quick, dramatic, permanent decisions in the first year, the military survivor must face moving from base housing, and the men and women who lose a fellow servicemember must continue to fly, fight, and
Words Will Never Be Enough Words Will Never Be Enough Ava Henrickson, Surviving Mother of U.S. Army SSG Adam Henrickson First Sergeant Ryan Teter’s 20-year military career in the Colorado National Guard has been peppered with many memorable and commendable acts of service. For months at a time, he was called away from his family, serving in Korea, Iraq, Bahrain, and Afghanistan — not to mention the training and temporary duties in between. As a leader, he’s shaped the careers and attitudes of younger soldiers, while p
Honor to Serve Honor to Serve Honor to Serve \| TAPS Kristi Stolzenberg At Trinity Episcopal Church in The Woodlands, Texas, you’ll find a flag retirement box that stands to collect flags that have grown too worn and weathered to continue to fly. The box tells the story of a life lived in service to others and the lasting bond between a sister and her brother. Grace Kotalik, of Scouts BSA Troop 1777 — this box’s creator — explains the symbolism behind her design: “I selected several elements for the box de
International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day \| TAPS Carla Stumpf Patton Saturday, November 23, 2024, is International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day (also referred to as ISOSLD or Survivor Day). As a national nonprofit founded in 1994, the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS), is a peer-based grief support organization serving all who are grieving the death of a service member or veteran. In 2008, the TAPS Suicide Prevention and Postventio
Hope for the Holidays: Practical Ideas for Healing Your Holiday Grief Hope for the Holidays: Practical Ideas for Healing Your Holiday Grief Practical Ideas for Healing Your Holiday Grief \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt Holidays are often difficult for anyone who has experienced the death of someone loved. Rather than being times of family togetherness, sharing and thanksgiving, holidays can bring feelings of sadness, loss, and emptiness. Since love does not end with death, holidays may result in a renewed sense of personal grief—a feeling of loss unlike that experienced
Navigating Conversations around Grief and the Holidays Navigating Conversations around Grief and the Holidays Navigating Conversations around Grief and the Holidays \| TAPS Rachel Kodanaz Most conversations between two or more people are casual and engaged to exchange ideas, thoughts, or emotions. In most cases, discussions are straightforward and timely– based on current events, shared experiences, or future planning. However, navigating, and often tiptoeing, around conversations during the holiday season is essential to remain conscientious of t
Never Forgotten: teams4taps and NFL Salute to Service Never Forgotten: teams4taps and NFL Salute to Service Never Forgotten: teams4taps and NFL Salute to Service \| TAPS Jessica Harper In a year of unprecedented challenges and difficulties, teams4taps and the NFL’s Salute to Service program continued to shine a light on the power of sports to unite people and create hope. 2020 was a year like no other. So perhaps it’s not surprising that our 2020 NFL Salute to Service events were also like no other. From telepresence robots, zoom parties, and “h
PGA Tour Superstore Brings TAPS Families Together PGA Tour Superstore Brings TAPS Families Together PGA Tour Superstore Brings TAPS Families Together \| TAPS TAPS Survivors Share Past and Present Memories at Special Golf Experiences In honor of Military Appreciation Month, teams4taps and the PGA TOUR Superstore joined forces to create events for survivors to honor their military loved ones through their favorite sport— golf! Survivors attended a wide range of events all across the country, where they attended PGA tournaments, got fit for new
3 C’s for Holiday Grief 3 C’s for Holiday Grief 3 C’s for Holiday Grief \| TAPS Kenneth Doka For those who are grieving, the holidays can be unfamiliar terrain. Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah or Kwanzaa, this time is filled with fond remembrances of loved ones who are on your mind yet absent from your traditions and rituals. Acknowledging the difficulties of holidays after loss does not make a potentially difficult time any easier, but preparing for the holidays by tapping into helpful coping strategies ma
Atop a Tower of Grief, a Place to Breathe Atop a Tower of Grief, a Place to Breathe Atop a Tower of Grief, a Place to Breathe \| TAPS Sonia Rai In the last few weeks, people all over the world have watched as the life they once knew, piece by piece, was stripped away from them. People have woken up every day to a world filled more and more with shadows. People have woken up to see the ever expansive landscape of their life become limited. They’ve bit by bit had to let go of things that are outside of their control and retreat furt
Forest Bathing: Why Soaking In Nature Can Improve Your Health Forest Bathing: Why Soaking In Nature Can Improve Your Health Forest Bathing: Why Soaking In Nature Can Improve Your Health \| TAPS Emily Munoz Forest bathing. Yes. You read that right. Forest bathing. For an easy, self-paced mindfulness exercise, we invite you to try forest bathing. I first heard about this Japanese mindfulness practice from my mother, Anna. She was attending one of our TAPS Inner Warrior Wellness Weekends when we posed a question to the group: How do you find quiet time? W
Honor in Every Season Honor in Every Season Honor in Every Season \| TAPS Allison Gilbert Excerpt from “Passed and Present – Keeping Memories of Loved Ones Alive” It is possible to look forward, to live a rich and joyful life, while keeping the memory of loved ones alive. There is no reason why remembering should be limited to a particular season or date on the calendar. Packing away your feelings until the “right” time of year honors neither your feelings nor your relationship. Celebrating your loved one can ha
Make the Most of Time at Home: Share Your Loved One’s Story Make the Most of Time at Home: Share Your Loved One’s Story Make the Most of Time at Home: Share Your Loved One’s Story \| TAPS Kerry Ward As we navigate these uncertain times, I have found that there is a silver lining with spending more time in the house: it has forced me to focus on projects I hadn’t yet had time to tackle. As I cleaned out my hall closet, I found myself face-to-face with memories I hadn’t thought about in years. I called an old friend and told her about a specific photo th
Saturday Morning Message: When Sleep Is Hard to Find Saturday Morning Message: When Sleep Is Hard to Find When Sleep Is Hard to Find \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, In this week’s Saturday Morning Message, survivors share strategies which help them when they are unable to sleep. When trauma comes into our lives, it throws our normal patterns into a tailspin. We have all been working with not only our individual grief, but also the National upset when COVID-19 came into our lives. Recently, I was having trouble sleep
Saturday Morning Message: Volunteer in service to others Saturday Morning Message: Volunteer in service to others Saturday Morning Message: Volunteer in service to others \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, TAPS is one of many rewarding organizations where you can volunteer your time. The opening picture is from this year’s 25th Annual National Military Survivor Seminar showing the bright yellow shirts and welcoming smiles of two volunteers who attended and shared their time. One way to volunteer for TAPS is with the Peer Mentor Program. Charlene
Saturday Morning Message: Survivor Tips For Tough Times Saturday Morning Message: Survivor Tips For Tough Times Saturday Morning Message: Survivor Tips For Tough Times \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, Compassion is the main ingredient in helping to get through tough times. The picture today shows two people just listening to each other. I have found friends from different parts of the country at a TAPS event with whom I continue to stay in contact. Last week I posted a link to finding an event close to you, but there might be something farther awa
Saturday Morning Message: Words of Comfort Saturday Morning Message: Words of Comfort Saturday Morning Message: Words of Comfort \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, One thing that many survivors think is helpful is a listening ear. That is where our TAPS family is so special. We are just waiting to hear about your loved one and offer you support when you most need it. There are so many ways TAPS can help you as you walk on this grief journey. This picture was taken at the Northeast Regional Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp in New Jer
Bereaved Military Families Come Together in New Jersey Bereaved Military Families Come Together in New Jersey Bereaved Military Families Come Together in New Jersey \| TAPS Victoria Leoni Maxine Gilson of Atlantic Highlands traveled to New Brunswick this weekend for a very special family reunion. Just 30 miles from where she and her husband, Paul, live in her home state of New Jersey, she reunited with a family that has supported her ever since the death of her Navy son more than nine years ago. That family is TAPS, the Tragedy Assistance Program
Camaraderie and Comfort Camaraderie and Comfort Camaraderie and Comfort \| TAPS TAPS In small towns and big cities, at a coffee shop in a quiet room—the comfort and camaraderie of your TAPS family is right around the corner and close to home. Whether you want to talk about your grief and gain insight into how others are coping, share a casual visit or participate in an activity where you can enjoy the sights and sounds of nature—the love and care of TAPS is present where you live, work and play. TAPS Togethers and
Saturday Morning Message: Fall Plans Saturday Morning Message: Fall Plans Saturday Morning Message: Fall Plans \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, Last week we shared the article “Making Summer Memories” by surviving spouse Elizabeth Culp. In the article, she wrote, “Planning provides something positive to focus thoughts and energy on.” I’m sharing here a photo of a hydrangea bush, my favorite. One of the reasons I like it is that it provides a focus in my yard and it will keep its flowers into the winter. Then in the spring, I mu
Saturday Morning Message: Benefits of TAPS Seminars Saturday Morning Message: Benefits of TAPS Seminars Saturday Morning Message: Benefits of TAPS Seminars Carol Lane Good Morning, In this picture, you can see the smiles on these survivors' faces as they hug each other. For me, that is the best part of attending a TAPS Seminar. I spend a lot of time on the computer, but when I go to a TAPS Seminar, I get to meet other survivors in person. We can go to the workshops and events that are planned or just sit, have a cup of coffee and talk for as
Companioning the bereaved is about being still; it is not about frantic movement forward. Companioning the bereaved is about being still; it is not about frantic movement forward. Companioning the bereaved is about being still; it is not about frantic movement forward. Alan Wolfelt "Things come suitable to their time." - Enid Bagnold Many of the messages that people in grief are given are in opposition to stillness… "carry on;" "keep your chin up;" "keep busy;" "I have someone for you to meet." Yet, the paradox for many grievers is that as they try to frantically move forward, t
Kicking Off Our 21st Year - TAPS 2015 Winter in Review Kicking Off Our 21st Year - TAPS 2015 Winter in Review Kicking Off Our 21st Year - TAPS 2015 Winter in Review TAPS Happy March, America’s Family. We are thinking spring here as much as possible in D.C. after the latest ice storm. It has been a cold winter here, but there’s been so much to warm our hearts this past month as the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) geared up for our twenty-first year of caring for the families of America’s fallen heroes. Our staff has put toget
Love, Loss, and Legacy Love, Loss, and Legacy Don Lipstein Turning Loss into Legacy - TAPS News Don Lipstein For more information on becoming a peer mentor or requesting a peer mentor, visit the TAPS Peer Mentor Program page. In some ways March 15, 2011, seems like yesterday and in others it feels like an eternity ago. That was the day my life turned upside down. I was completely helpless as my oldest son Joshua, 250 miles away from me, hung the phone up before he took his own life. That moment in time is sea
National Bereavement Study: A Call to Action National Bereavement Study: A Call to Action National Bereavement Study: A Call to Action TAPS One of the recurring themes of grief is the feeling of isolation, the sensation that we are alone in the world and that no one understands what we are going through. At some point many of us find a way to “give sorrow words” as William Shakespeare wrote more than 400 years ago. We find our voice and want to be assured that someone is listening. The National Military Family Bereavement Study (NMFBS),