Search Page

Search Result

Klinger, A Story of Honor and Hope Klinger: A Story of Honor and Hope Klinger, A Story of Honor and Hope Madeline LaMorie Klinger, A Story of Honor and Hope is a wonderful and helpful book for young children who are experiencing grief over the death of a parent or loved one in the military. The story of Klinger is a journey of loss, grief, and hope, which many of us kids can identify with— after all, we come to TAPS Good Grief Camp to share in our grief journey together. Through TAPS, we even get to meet animals, like Klinge
Taking Back My Finish Line Taking Back My Finish Line Taking Back My Finish Line Linda Ambard Nobody tells you how much grief is going to hurt. Although I am a marathon runner, I had to fight for each and every breath I took after Phil died. I woke up from a few stolen minutes of sleep with my bones aching and my body heavy. I went to bed exhausted and weary, but as soon as I close my eyes images began to torment and rob me of even more sleep. I’d think of my loved one, and the swollen knot in my throat would reappea
United Through Darkness, Shining Together United Through Darkness, Shining Together United Through Darkness, Shining Together Rachel Hunsell As I lay on my sleeping bag surrounded by my new family scattered across the beach, I looked up at stars. This was my nightly routine on my sandy bed, keeping my eyes open as long as they could to gaze upon the magic of these stars. These weren't like the stars back home in the rural Midwest; no, these stars made you truly feel your place in the universe. You could see the Milky Way Galaxy stret
Healing Your Grieving Heart: Embrace Self-Care this Holiday Season Healing Your Grieving Heart: Embrace Self-Care this Holiday Season Healing Your Grieving Heart: Embrace Self-Care this Holiday Season \| TAPS Bonnie Carroll Alan Wolfelt Let Go of Destructive Misconceptions about Grief and Mourning Most of us have internalized a number of our society’s harmful misconceptions about grief and mourning. Here are some to let go of: I need to be strong and carry on. Tears are a sign of weakness. I need to get over my grief. Death is something we d
Making New Summer Memories Making New Summer Memories Making New Summer Memories \| TAPS Elizabeth Culp Sergent When we woke that Thursday morning in May, our boys, ages 8 and 5, were excited that there were only two weeks left of school until summer break. At 8:08 that evening, our whole world changed when that knock landed on our front door. Those two weeks came and went while we attended Brian’s funeral service and met with our casualty assistance officer. And then came summer. With no routine, no structure, and n
Saturday Morning Message: Changing Anger to Pride Saturday Morning Message: Changing Anger to Pride Saturday Morning Message: Changing Anger to Pride Carol Lane Good Morning, Last week's question asked how to turn the anger that comes with grief into more of a focus on the pride for our loved one's service. This is a tricky question as it asks us to focus on ourselves, and that is something many of us are not taught to do. First, we must find strategies to help reduce the anger. This is where looking in the TAPS Magazine archives can be hel
Surviving Suicide Loss: One Mother’s Story Surviving Suicide Loss: One Mother’s Story Surviving Suicide Loss: One Mother’s Story \| TAPS Ava Henrickson The Night That Life Changed It was September 10, 2020. The pandemic was still affecting everyday life across the globe. I was lying in bed, half-asleep, when I thought I heard noises downstairs — like someone was knocking at the door. It was close to midnight, so I thought I must've been imagining it. I tuned it out, chalking it up to the neighbors being noisy. Shortly after I put it
Godwinks: Special Gifts From Our Loved Ones Godwinks: Special Gifts From Our Loved Ones Godwinks: Special Gifts From Our Loved Ones Bevin Landrum When I first came to TAPS, I had never heard the term “Godwinks.” I remember feeling quite confused when a co-worker mentioned a Godwink story in our staff meeting. The meaning of the term was clear from her experience of a special song coming on the radio at the exact moment she was feeling alone and missing her parents. The song had always been one she listened to with her mom. It seem
All In With TAPS at National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar All In With TAPS at National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar All In With TAPS at National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar Misty Blum About a year ago I was on the phone with the head of Peer Mentor Training for TAPS. We were chatting about the upcoming national seminar taking place in Washington DC. He mentioned that it is a great experience but suggested for my first seminar I should attend the annual suicide seminar because it is so specific to my loss. Well, I know good advice when I h
The Metaphors of Grief The Metaphors of Grief The Metaphors of Grief Emily Munoz Traveling the country to host Regional Seminars, the TAPS team hears about the sense of freedom that comes from connecting with other people who understand. At TAPS events, you can be yourself – the armor can come off; the mask can fall away. As this happens, our bonds as a TAPS family strengthen and grow. And then, Sunday rolls around, and with it comes the real world – and some of us need that armor back. We don’t want to send you ho
How I learned to manage ambush moments by replotting my grief journey How I learned to manage 'ambush moments' by replotting my grief journey How I learned to manage “ambush moments” by replotting my grief journey \| TAPS Terri Jones September is National Suicide Prevention Month. This article is the third of five stories by TAPS suicide loss survivors who wish to share lessons learned from their grief journeys. We invite you to share this story using the hashtag #SurvivorSunday. If you know or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide, please call
Saturday Morning Message: Thanksgiving Favorites Saturday Morning Message: Thanksgiving Favorites Saturday Morning Message: Thanksgiving Favorites \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, This week survivors wrote about their loved one’s favorite foods at Thanksgiving. The opening picture came from Caryn, mother of Nathan, who wrote, “Nathan and his favorite Thanksgiving meal was always one he prepared himself, beginning with this one when he was in middle school. The last Thanksgiving meal I had was the one he cooked with his Dad in 2010.” Enjoy
Spotlight on Service: Nicki Bunting Spotlight on Service: Nicki Bunting Spotlight on Service: Nicki Bunting TAPS Nicki Bunting may be a busy single mom to two active little boys, but she also cares about helping others and wants to give back to the community. When TAPS Magazine caught up with Nicki by phone in December, she was busy getting holiday gift cards ready to mail to military widows who were struggling. “I know that when I was in my worst of times, I needed a lot of support. To be able to support others when they ar
Resuming Something Set Aside: The Maine Thing Resuming Something Set Aside: The Maine Thing Resuming Something Set Aside: The Maine Thing Michele Hiester Marcum Vacations have always been a prominent source of my most treasured childhood memories. More often than not, I remember the little details more than the destinations. I don’t remember many of the cities we visited, the events we attended, or the sights we saw. But I remember dining on ham sandwiches from an old Coleman cooler in a hotel room. And I remember playing cards with m
Crackled, Not Broken: A Raku Reflection on Grief and Grace Crackled, Not Broken: A Raku Reflection on Grief and Grace Gregory T. Jacobs * Surviving Father of Army SPC David Jacobs On a recent trip to the Smoky Mountains, my wife and I found ourselves, once again, at one of our favorite artisan spots — Alewine Pottery, quietly nestled among the pines and whispering winds of Gatlinburg, Tennessee. Over the years, I’ve grown fond of their artfully crafted mugs, each one a small masterpiece that somehow makes a morning cup of coffee feel like a ritual
Saturday Morning Message: Helping Other Survivors Saturday Morning Message: Helping Other Survivors Saturday Morning Message: Helping Other Survivors Carol Lane Good Morning, Often, people don't know what to say or do around a grieving person. This week's question was answered by survivors who remember what was supportive and helpful when they were first grieving as well as what they do now when a death happens in their network of family or friends. For many of us, just having someone listen to our thoughts and emotions without trying to fi
TAPS Magazine Spring 2020 TAPS Magazine Spring 2020 TAPS Magazine Spring 2020 TAPS Quarterly Magazine TAPS Magazine Spring 2020 Volume 26, Issue 1
Saturday Morning Message: The Difference TAPS Has Made — Part 2 Saturday Morning Message: The Difference TAPS Has Made — Part 2 Saturday Morning Message: The Difference TAPS Has Made — Part 2 \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, This week, I am going to keep my comments short as there were several writers who have responded to the question about the difference TAPS has made in their lives. In addition to the Saturday Morning Message, there is also a monthly Writers’ Circle Newsletter that is published and goes out to those who sign up to receive it. It is for
New Relationships and Dating After Loss New Relationships and Dating After Loss New Relationships and Dating After Loss Amanda McPherson If you are reading this, you may have been fortunate to have found that special someone, only to have them taken from you too soon. I will not claim to understand your pain. You will forever be shaped by the experiences you shared with your lost loved one as well as your journey of healing. As I'm sure I don't need to tell you, there isn't one authority for handling grief or a how-to guide for hea
Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Proud Memories Of Our Loved Ones Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Proud Memories Of Our Loved Ones Sharing Proud Memories Of Our Loved Ones \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, Sharing memories of our loved ones with others helps us heal. In this week’s message, survivors have shared occasions that bring pride into their lives when they think of their loved ones. Each event helps us create a mental picture of that special person. If you would like to send a note commenting on one or all of the respo
Saturday Morning Message: The Care of Our Loved Ones' Belongings Saturday Morning Message: The Care of Our Loved Ones' Belongings Saturday Morning Message: The Care of Our Loved Ones' Carol Lane Good Morning, Mother's Day is tomorrow, and it can be difficult for many. If support is needed, keep the TAPS Survivor Helpline number, 800-959-TAPS (8277), handy. This week Caryn, mother of Nathan, sent a song that brings her some relief. You will find it in the Song for the Week section of this message. Last week's question was about how we care for our lov
Grief is Powerful 6 Lessons Learned Grief is Powerful 6 Lessons Learned Grief is Powerful 6 Lessons Learned Sherry Amatenstein My parents survived the Holocaust, so people who had been wrenched through horror and loss raised me. Mom spent ages 14 to 17 in a work camp, and came home to find her mother and two sisters were dead. Dad was imprisoned at Auschwitz and Dachau. Despite the pain poised just beneath the surface, my parents were role models for how to wrest joy and meaning from tragedy. Now, as a therapist, when I see
Saturday Morning Message: Living Life to Fullest Saturday Morning Message: Living Life to Fullest Saturday Morning Message: Living Life to Fullest Carol Lane Good Morning, As you read answers from survivors, living life after the loss of a loved one is not easy, but we all take up the challenge in different ways. The picture today comes from the recent TAPS Magazine article by Linda Ambard, spouse of Air Force Maj. Philip Ambard , titled "The Journey of Hope Never Ends." In this article, Linda talks about looking at things that she wanted
Using Medication for Grief When and How to Use Medication for Grief Using Medication for Grief - TAPS News Richard Dew Note: As with any medical questions, seek the advice of your physician. Prescription medications should only be taken under the advisement of a licensed medical professional. It was a typical meeting of The Compassionate Friends, a national organization for parents who have lost a child. We were discussing what helped us cope with the death of our child. Joanna, a quiet lady who seldom spoke, sudden
5 Things Professionals Learned After 9/11 5 Things Professionals Learned After 9/11 5 Things Professionals Learned After 9/11 Heidi Horsley Since Sept. 11, 2001, we have come a long way, and I have watched as bereaved families have once again found hope. I was honored to spend 10 years with 9/11 firefighter families, taking the grief journey with them, when I worked with the FDNY/Columbia University Family Guidance Program. The research study looked at traumatic loss over time in families who had lost a firefighter in the World Trad
Happy Memories Happy Memories Happy Memories Elizabeth Rozier Yesterday, which seemed to be the first real HOT day of summer here in Houston (end of May), my parents and I stopped for a snow cone at a local haunt. It's been a favorite of ours for years, as close to a New Orleans snowball as you will get in Texas. As I stood in line, glistening in the summer heat as all real southern ladies do, my thoughts turned towards summers past with my brother and the many snow cones consumed in childhood. There a
Growing Up TAPS: Raising Bereaved Children Growing Up TAPS: Raising Bereaved Children Growing Up TAPS: Raising Bereaved Children Andy McNiel When a military spouse or partner dies, the surviving family members — including the children — face challenges. The family may have to relocate, thus losing a community of support; the surviving spouse or partner becomes the only parent to their children; and everyone in the family experiences grief in their own way, often isolating from one another. Surviving parents often struggle with how to
Saturday Morning Message: Dealing With A Sudden Change Saturday Morning Message: Dealing With A Sudden Change Saturday Morning Message: Dealing With A Sudden Change \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, As we learn to function after the death of a loved one, something unexpected may come along to upset us. Last week Cheryl, mother of Jack, wrote about her dog, Bear, who was a comfort pet. When he passed, she wondered how others have coped when another sudden loss occurs in their lives while healing. Sometimes nothing helps more than a big hug. The pic
Saturday Morning Message: Ornaments for our Loved Ones Saturday Morning Message: Ornaments for our Loved Ones Saturday Morning Message: Ornaments for our Loved Ones \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, Ornaments are special. Some of them are from places we have visited, come from special friends or family, or they can be just something we bought because it touched our hearts. TAPS has touched many hearts, so the opening picture is an ornament you can buy at the TAPS store. This week survivors wrote about creating an ornament that introduces their lo
Saturday Morning Message: The things they leave behind Saturday Morning Message: The things they leave behind Saturday Morning Message: The things they leave behind \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, This week, survivors shared items they keep that are special remembrances of their loved ones. The picture today is of the laundry jug given to Marcia, by her son, Patrick, the last time he was home. She is the author of the original question. Read what others have saved to remind them of their loved ones. Surviving friends and family are invited to
Spotlight on Service: Casey Callanan Spotlight on Service: Casey Callanan Spotlight on Service: Casey Callanan TAPS It was a week after the conclusion of the 18th Annual TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp when we received an email that read, “My name is Casey Callanan, and I live in Arlington, Virginia. I applied to be a volunteer earlier this week and completed the training online. I was hoping I could get some information on what the next step in the process might be, so I can be involved in some of
Grief and Your Health Grief and Your Health Grief and Your Health Margaret Gerner The loss of a loved one to death is a life-shattering experience. It affects us physically as well as emotionally. The grief we experience is felt on an emotional level, and the stress of these emotions can create havoc with our bodies. If we had a physical illness before our loved one died, our grief can exacerbate the existing illness. It can also open the way for physical illness if we have been previously healthy. Grief makes
Parallel Universe Parallel Universe Parallel Universe Alison Lighthall Living Two Realities at the Same Time Severe psychological trauma is a special kind of broken-heartedness. It takes up residency in you, sometimes making itself known in cruel ways and other times taking a quiet nap from which it can be quickly and easily aroused. It is a permanent condition that, on some rare and lucky occasions, eases with time or goes blessedly into dormancy but never actually ends. Immediately after the initial trau
Words Will Never Be Enough Words Will Never Be Enough Ava Henrickson, Surviving Mother of U.S. Army SSG Adam Henrickson First Sergeant Ryan Teter’s 20-year military career in the Colorado National Guard has been peppered with many memorable and commendable acts of service. For months at a time, he was called away from his family, serving in Korea, Iraq, Bahrain, and Afghanistan — not to mention the training and temporary duties in between. As a leader, he’s shaped the careers and attitudes of younger soldiers, while p
Holiday Emotions Only Your #tapsfam Understands Holiday Emotions Only Your #tapsfam Understands Holiday Emotions Only Your #tapsfam Understands TAPS If you’ve ever seen the movie Elf, you know that there are times you just might not “fit in.” Whether you need to dig into the holidays or to completely disconnect from them, there’s no place that grief takes you that your #tapsfam doesn’t understand. We’ve lived through the extremes, and we’ve made it through the melancholy in between–you will make it, too. What we've learned by living is
Video: TAPS Policy & Legislative Advocacy Update Video: TAPS Policy & Legislative Advocacy Update TAPS Policy & Legislative Advocacy Update Webinar \| TAPS Institute Candace Wheeler Ashlynne Haycock-Lohmann Learn how the TAPS policy team is advocating for you on Capitol Hill on a variety of issues from remarriage to toxic exposure. This is your opportunity to learn about how TAPS is fighting for surviving families, and for our Policy and Legislative team to hear what issues matter most to YOU! This webinar is presented by the TAPS Institute
Video: TAPS: Helping Families of Fallen Troops TAPS: Helping Families of Fallen Troops TAPS: Helping Families of Fallen Troops TAPS Media (TAPS) is the national organization providing compassionate care for the families of America's fallen military heroes and has offered support to more than 44,000 surviving family members of our fallen military and their caregivers since 1994. TAPS provides peer-based emotional support, grief and trauma resources, grief seminars and retreats for adults, Good Grief Camps for children, case work assistance
Video: TAPS Policy and Legislative Update Video: TAPS Policy and Legislative Update TAPS Policy and Legislative Update Webinar \| TAPS Institute Candace Wheeler Ashlynne Haycock-Lohmann Learn how the TAPS Government and Legislative Affairs team is advocating for ALL Survivors on Capitol Hill on a variety of issues from remarriage and increasing Dependency and Indemnity Compensation to healthcare and mental healthcare improvements for surviving families. This is your opportunity to learn more about how TAPS is fighting for surviving f
October is Emotional Wellness Month October is Emotional Wellness Month October is Emotional Wellness Month \| TAPS TAPS This article was first published on the TAPS website on October 1, 2021 and has been updated with additional resources. As members of the TAPS family, we either know (or are learning) that even in the midst of heartache, we can find moments of comfort and connection. It doesn’t always come naturally - it isn’t easy to balance the needs of grieving and living. Yet, when we’re navigating major life transition
Saturday Morning Message: God Winks Saturday Morning Message: God Winks Saturday Morning Message: God Winks \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, There were so many interesting God winks sent this week that I think it will take two weeks to share these marvelous moments in our lives. If you have a God wink you would like to share after reading this week’s message, feel free to send it along. I will include it in the monthly Writers’ Circle that is sent to those who request it. The picture this week comes from Debra, wife
The Seesaw of Resilience and Vulnerability The Seesaw of Resilience and Vulnerability The Seesaw of Resilience and Vulnerability \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt “To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength.” — Criss Jami As you journey through your naturally complicated and painful grief, you are probably being buoyed by—and perhaps also dismayed by—your resilience. After all, here you are. You may not have thought it possible at first, but you have indeed survived. Military fami
Bringing Alex Home Bringing Alex Home Bringing Alex Home \| TAPS Donleigh Gaunky A Brother’s Loss During War I am a man. I am a brother. I am a combat veteran. And I am a sibling survivor. Nowadays, there are not that many of us who have survived going to war and, at the same time, lost a family member to that same war. In the 1940s there were more of us. A visit to the Arizona Memorial at Pearl Harbor will give you a great example of the magnitude of this reality in just a single event. More than 30 sets of si
White Stones of Honor White Stones of Honor White Stones of Honor Ken Ashley It couldn’t have happened…but it did. It shouldn’t have happened…but it did. There it was, that wooden box that was holding my precious son, my only son, draped in the colors of the country he fought and died for. It’s still hard to say…but, there it was. There I was, standing beside that box, my hand gently lying upon that revered cloth and again the tears flowed freely, and I would not stop them from flowing. They were coming from the
Saturday Morning Message: Honoring Birthdays Saturday Morning Message: Honoring Birthdays Saturday Morning Message: Honoring Birthdays \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, Awhile back there was a discussion with a TAPS group about celebrating our loved one’s birthday and I thought it would be a good question for this weekly message. The responses this week came from those who answered that question. The quote at the beginning really speaks to our feelings about keeping our loved one’s memory alive. Sometimes after reading the Saturday Mo
United States and United Kingdom Families Gather in London for Friendship and Football U.S. and U.K. Families Gather in London for Friendship and Football United States and United Kingdom Families Gather in London for Friendship and Football \| TAPS TAPS taps international, military, survivor, child grief, honoring the fallen 2018 October US and UK Surviving families unite to honor loved ones who served in the American and British Armed Forces and catch some American football action.
Online Financial Counseling Online Financial Counseling Online Financial Counseling Fran Hackett To Help Beneficiaries Plan Ahead Eligible beneficiaries in the Servicemembers’ Group Life Insurance (SGLI) Program can now take advantage of two new online financial services that can help with financial planning and also provide the ability to create a will. Eligible beneficiaries include those who have received a payment from SGLI, Veterans’ Group Life Insurance (VGLI), or Family SGLI (FSGLI). The Department of Veterans A
Saturday Morning Message: The Difference TAPS Has Made Saturday Morning Message: The Difference TAPS Has Made Saturday Morning Message: The Difference TAPS Has Made \| TAPS Carol Lane Editor's Note: This week, we are re-posting one of our most popular Saturday Morning Messages that originally was published on November 4, 2017. We hope some of our newer survivors can learn from others about how TAPS has helped them face the challenges of grief. Good morning, This week, I am going to keep my comments short as there were several writers who hav
Saturday Morning Message: A Sense of Accomplishment Saturday Morning Message: A Sense of Accomplishment Saturday Morning Message: A Sense of Accomplishment Carol Lane Good Morning, The picture this week is from Ginny, mother of Patrick. You will read about what she is doing later in the message. Since there were so many wonderful replies this week, I will keep my comments short. One thing that gives me a sense of accomplishment each week is seeing the Saturday Morning Message come to my mailbox. Then, I know you have all received it, too.
Saturday Morning Message: Grieving Multiple Losses Saturday Morning Message: Grieving Multiple Losses Saturday Morning Message: Grieving Multiple Losses Carol Lane Good morning, Hugs are important when we are grieving. This week, survivor comments about multiple losses varied from feelings after experiencing multiple losses to some of the things they have done to keep anxiety at a distance. I hope you will find their responses like a big hug across the miles. One addition to this week’s message is an idea from Cheryl, mother of Jack. She
The Journey of Hope Never Ends The Journey of Hope Never Ends The Journey of Hope Never Ends Linda Ambard I am surprised at how much grief feels like fear. Nothing has felt the same since April 27, 2011. I spent my entire adult life following Phil around the world. First, I lived in his shadow and then the shadow of my children. Don't get me wrong, I loved being the glue that held our family together. I was the positive cheerleader standing behind my family. It was a comfortable role that I never saw ending. Living in t
Saturday Morning Message: Advice for Another Survivor Saturday Morning Message: Advice for Another Survivor Saturday Morning Message: Advice for Another Survivor Carol Lane Good Morning, This week the survivors who wrote answered the question, “Knowing what you know now, what would you offer to another person who has lost a loved one?” There were many ideas to contemplate and Karl sent a poem that came from the Internet which I think you will find meaningful. I couldn’t find an author, but I think it says a lot about how a grieving person feels
Military Children and Grief Military Children and Grief Military Children and Grief Betsy Beard Judith Mathewson Tina Saari and Heather Campagna After the flag is folded, and after the last echoing notes of Taps have sounded on the bugle, the overwhelming grief of losing a parent in military service comes to rest squarely on shoulders too small, too fragile, too young, and too inexperienced to bear the burden alone. Tucked away from the public spotlight, the grief following a military death continues for months and ye
Dragonflies: A Surviving Mother’s Connection To Her Son Dragonflies: A Surviving Mother’s Connection To Her Son Dragonflies: A Surviving Mother’s Connection To Her Son \| TAPS Ruth Wiley Those who knew my son Jim understood that no matter what, you were going to get a story out of him. To this day, people will tell me that Jim, an attorney for the U.S. government and the U.S. Army, was legendary for his stories. After Jim’s death, we flew into North Bend Airport and went directly to Holy Redeemer Catholic Church for his funeral mass. Before I le
Saturday Morning Message: Making a positive difference during a difficult time Saturday Morning Message: Making a positive difference during a difficult time Making a positive difference during a difficult time \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good morning, As you follow the stay at home request, there needs to be something positive to do to help with the feelings of isolation you may have from being away from your normal social routine. Today I want to share some of the ways I connect with others. Through technology, TAPS provides ways for us to connect to
A widow’s transformational trip A widow’s transformational trip A widow’s transformational trip \| TAPS Carole Hilton Many years ago, about seven years after my husband’s death, I was sitting in a meeting participating in an icebreaker activity. As we went around the room and shared something that was on our bucket list, I was horrified to realize that I had nothing. Nothing that I was looking forward to — no long term plans or dreams. Since my husband’s death in 2004 my entire focus had been on raising our three children (w
Putting on My Oxygen Mask Putting on My Oxygen Mask Putting on My Oxygen Mask \| TAPS Don Lipstein A Father's Journey to Healing and Helping Others I believe we are faced with choices along our journey. Some of those choices can help us heal while others tend to slow our progress and deflate our hope of ever getting to a safe place in our journey. A common thread among the men with who I have come in contact is that we were raised to be the strong, stoic presence. We were encouraged to help everyone else before think
Facing My Fears on Heartbreak Hill Facing My Fears on Heartbreak Hill Facing My Fears on Heartbreak Hill Linda Ambard The Boston Marathon is going to be my 100th marathon on April 18th. It was never supposed to be my 100th marathon because 100 marathons is usually a time where people come and celebrate the milestone. My 100thmarathon was supposed to be about finishing the Bucket List I had when Phil was killed and starting a new Bucket List for the next chapter in my life. I figured five years would be time enough to be rea
Now I’m Older Now I’m Older Now I’m Older Stephanie Frogge Passing the Age of a Sibling Who Died When Robert’s older brother was killed in Iraq, his family described him as “stoic.” Having served a tour of duty himself, Robert knew the risks but also knew his older brother was doing work he loved. Over the next two years Robert seemed to be coping well, seeking counseling for a few months and going back to school to finish his degree. Shortly after graduation, even after landing a lucrative position in hi
Hunt the Good Stuff Hunt the Good Stuff Hunt the Good Stuff Dayna Wood Very rarely have I found myself alone over the last year and a half. Right after the accident, my friends and family rushed to my side and have been pillars of unwavering support every since. I’ve always had a roommate/friend to come home to that would help me laugh through the tears and remind me of all the good times I had with Ko. Yet, I’ve recently moved to Omaha, Nebraska for a job, and I don’t know anyone. I’m absolutely terrified th
Reflections of a First Time Mentor Reflections of a First Time Mentor Reflections of a First Time Mentor Robert Statchen One of the many TAPS activities offered throughout the year is the summer overnight Good Grief Camp-Out for children who have lost a parent or sibling. I was honored to have the opportunity to volunteer at one of these camps last June and would like to share my experience. In addition to the tragic death of a loved one, many TAPS children also experience a break with the military lifestyle they have kn
Support Yourself and Your Children Support Yourself & Your Children Support Yourself & Your Children Andrea Hug Through the Holidays The holidays are here… As a parent who is grieving, thinking about the holidays may seem ludicrous, and yet your children will not let them pass without celebration. Children naturally need to find the joy in the season. But it is an overwhelming time with demands that might cause unmanageable stress. It’s helpful to consider how you can ease the demands of the season and still honor your missin
The Emotional Journey through Grief The Emotional Journey through Grief The Emotional Journey through Grief Judy Tatelbaum When facing separation, loss, or death, we are invariably thrown into a turmoil of mixed and intense emotions. Some of these feelings may seem foreign or unexpected. Some are hard to bear. We may feel several different, sometimes conflicting, emotions all at once. We may expect to feel only sadness, but rarely is grief confined to a single emotion. Besides experiencing a mix of feelings like sadness, an
Your Lifetime And a Lifetime of Your Legacy Your Lifetime And a Lifetime of Your Legacy Rachel Hunsell, Program Manager, TAPS Outdoor Engagement, Surviving Sister of Marine Corps LCpl J. Kyle Price As a child, a lifetime, I thought, was being “old” — gray hair, wrinkles, an always-growing family, and decades of stories, triumphs, and challenges. It was great-grandchildren at your feet, unfiltered conversations and collections of photos, knick-knacks, and recipes. A lifetime was old barns with generations of tools, totes of heirloom
Video: Tools and Tips for Mental, Emotional, & Spiritual Care after a Suicide Death Video: Tools and Tips for Mental, Emotional, & Spiritual Care after a Suicide Death Tools and Tips for Mental, Emotional, & Spiritual Care after a Suicide Death Webinar \| TAPS Institute Carla Stumpf Patton Andy McNiel The death of a family member or friend from suicide has a profound impact on our lives. Grief can be overwhelming, disruptive, and consume our thoughts, emotions, and spirit. This webinar will provide a context for understanding how grief impacts our lives and provide helpful too
Photos: teams4taps Magic teams4taps and the Orlando Magic Hoops for Troops teams4taps with the Orlando Magic Hoops for Troops Photos \| TAPS TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (13 photos) //
Photos: teams4taps Ravens Seats for Service teams4taps Baltimore Ravens Seats for Service TAPS at Baltimore Ravens Seats for Service \| TAPS TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (30 photos) //
Video: TAPS Provides Comfort & Hope Video: TAPS Provides Comfort & Hope Video: TAPS Provides Comfort & Hope \| TAPS TAPS Media The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors is the national organization for all those grieving the death of a military or veteran loved one. Learn more about the TAPS Mission. Select image below to play. the mission of TAPS, military survivor, gold star families, gold star families The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors is the national organization for all those grieving the death of a mi
Video: Meditation for Uncertain Times TAPS Talks Video: Meditation for Uncertain Times Video: Meditation for Uncertain Times \| TAPS Institute Heather Stang This live connection, recorded by the TAPS Institute for Hope and Healing® and presented by Heather Stang allows participants to experience the power of RAIN meditation to ease difficult emotions. Select image below to play the video. webinar, video, meditation, coronavirus fears, grief and loss education Boeing Sponsor of Institute and Suicide Loss This video recording
Video: Strategies for Healthy Eating TAPS Talks Video: Strategies for Healthy Eating Video: Strategies for Healthy Eating \| TAPS Institute Kristen McGill This live connection, recorded by the TAPS Institute for Hope and Healing® and presented by Kristen McGill, discusses setting healthy and realistic goals, planning meals, and tying it all together in the kitchen. Select image below to play the video. webinar, video, healthy eating, coronavirus fears, remarriage, grief and loss education Boeing Sponsor of Institute and Sui
Video: Thanksgiving Message from Bonnie Carroll Video: Thanksgiving Message from Bonnie Carroll Video: Thanksgiving Message from Bonnie Carroll \| TAPS Bonnie Carroll The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) President and Founder Bonnie Carroll sends her well wishes to all military survivors this Thanksgiving 2020. TAPS is a family here for you, offering comfort, care and understanding. We stand together. You are NOT alone. Select image below to play. thinking of you at thanksgiving, america's fallen heroes, help for milita
Who is Memorial Day For? Who is Memorial Day For? Who is Memorial Day For? \| TAPS Bonnie Carroll Who is Memorial Day for? It's for all of us. It's for all Americans to remember we enjoy our many freedoms because of a brave few who dedicated their lives to this country and who died much too soon from wounds seen and unseen. Many are easily confused by the various holidays honoring military service members. There's a day for those who have served (Veterans Day), one for those who are currently serving (Armed Forces
Saturday Morning Message: Loved Ones' Items We Keep Close Saturday Morning Message: Loved Ones' Items We Keep Close Loved Ones' Items We Keep Close \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, The opening picture came from Elsie, mother of Daniel. It shows the special remembrance quilts she made which you will read about in this week's response section. We received a large response to this week's question, regarding our loved ones' items that we keep nearby. So many, in fact, that we are sharing some in this week's edition of the Sat
Good vs. Bad Pain Good vs. Bad Pain Good vs. Bad Pain \| TAPS Emily Munoz Finding Power and Purpose through the Hurt We know that pain is uncomfortable, but can it also be a good thing? A useful thing? Pain can be a valuable teacher. But as much as we may learn from it, we may also feel compelled to avoid it. It takes tremendous emotional energy to constantly have to come to terms with how much has gone awry. How much should we wrestle with how hurt we are, and how much should we surrender? Photo c
Saturday Morning Message: Changes in Our Lives Saturday Morning Message: Changes in Our Lives Saturday Morning Message: Changes in Our Lives \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, This week's question made me really stop and think. With the beginning of March, things in nature are changing here in Vermont. The sap is beginning to run, and those who make maple syrup are beginning to get ready. The sap is starting to go up into the trees to make the flowers so new trees will begin to replace the old. I think it is the same with my thoughts. My o
Saturday Morning Message: Online Support Saturday Morning Message: Online Support Saturday Morning Message: Online Support Carol Lane Good morning, This picture comes from the new TAPS website. When you need support, this is the place to look. Everything TAPS has to offer is listed here. Some of the listings are the helpline that is available 24/7 at 800-959-TAPS (8277), upcoming events and resources such as casework or the survivor care team. There are also a variety of programs, including the TAPS Online Community, which links yo
Grief Reactivated Grief Reactivated Grief Reactivated Ashlynne Haycock-Lohmann My father died almost 14 years ago of a heart attack while training to deploy. I was just 10 years old. I went through denial, anger and depression. Eventually, I came to accept the loss. After going through those steps, I thought it was over; I was finally done grieving. Even though the process did not occur in any prescribed order or in the way some say it should have, I felt I reached important milestones in my grief journey.
Grief 101: Advice to New TAPS Survivors Grief 101: Advice to New TAPS Survivors Grief 101: Advice to New TAPS Survivors TAPS The Saturday Message is a letter that comes through email to TAPS parents, spouses, siblings, and friends. It includes thoughts from the survivors themselves. When one asks a question, the others are free to respond. Asked recently what advice they would give to a newly bereaved person, TAPS survivors responded with powerful and diverse answers. DEB BONN Surviving mother of Ensign Elizabeth Bonn This will
Let Us Not Forget Let Us Not Forget Let Us Not Forget Tiffany Eckert Recently I was asked what Veteran's Day meant to me… Veteran's Day was created to honor the brave men and women, who have served their country, past and present-a National holiday, pretty straightforward. Yet for many, this day offers a different perspective and reality. For some its having looked death in the eye, stared it down like a lion to its prey and walked away from battle forever changed. Others spilled their crimson blood in f
Saturday Morning Message: Remembering the Light Saturday Morning Message: Remembering the Light Saturday Morning Message: Remembering the Light Carol Lane Good Morning, Remembering the light and not the darkness takes a long time to come into our lives after the death of a loved one. If you observe a lighthouse in the late evening, the stream of light comes into your line of vision and then fades away, but it always comes back. That is how the memories of our loved ones’ lives come to us…in waves. Sometimes they make us laugh and other ti
She Said, He Said She Said, He Said She Said, He Said Chris Sweet Danielle Balmer Sweet Tech. Sgt. Ryan A. Balmer died June 5, 2007, in Kirkuk, Iraq. He was assigned as Special Agent to the Air Force Office of Special Investigations. Tech. Sgt. Jessica Sweet died February 12, 2009, five months after she was diagnosed with acute myelogenous leukemia. She Said “How am I supposed to kiss you goodbye tomorrow at the airport knowing it might be the last time I see you?” As Ryan stood there that night with his
Another Chapter of a Father's Journey Another Chapter of a Father's Journey Another Chapter of a Father's Journey Bob Bagosy It's been three years and eight months since Tommy took his life on May 10, 2010, but who's counting? We all are. Everyone who had a son or daughter killed in action in Iraq or Afghanistan, by accident at home, or by suicide. We all remember the date and time. It goes back to all the wars our country has fought. At times we cry for the loss of what might have been…the marriage and grandchild that will never
A Father and His Marine A Father and His Marine A Father and His Marine Bob Bagosy My name is Bob Bagosy, I've been asked to write a monthly blog for TAPS from a man's point of view if you will! I'm just a Dad not a professional writer so what I write will be from my heart. On Monday May 10, 2010 the day after Mother's Day around 1:00 PM on a clear, blue, spring afternoon on board Camp Lejeune, my son Sgt. Thomas R Bagosy USMC a career Marine age 25, married father of two children completed suicide in front of Go
The Mourner's Bill of Rights The Mourner's Bill of Rights The Mourner's Bill of Rights Alan Wolfelt As a bereaved person, you have certain rights that others must not take away from you. In fact, it is the very upholding of these rights that makes healing possible. 1. You have the right to experience your own unique grief. No one else will grieve in exactly the same way you do. Don't allow others to tell you what you should or should not be feeling. 2. You have the right to talk about your grief. Talking about your
Saturday Morning Message: Easing Anxiety and Stress Saturday Morning Message: Easing Anxiety and Stress Saturday Morning Message: Easing Anxiety and Stress \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, Stress and anxiety are emotions felt by grieving people. This week, survivors share ideas on what brings them comfort when these emotions come over them. Hugs help me the most, so I’m sharing a picture of two survivors giving each other a wonderful hug. It is also the reason I sign most of my TAPS correspondence with the word “Hugs.” Please feel that I am hu
Among the Zebras Among the Zebras Among the Zebras Judi Swenson For those planning on attending the TAPS National Suicide Seminar in October for the first time, this is for you. Please don't get cold feet. Don't be scared. There is nothing else like it. I know this is very long. Please take a few minutes to read it through. I unfortunately will have to miss this years seminar. Don't you. You will find love, support, and understanding. HUGS. I lost my son, Davey, to suicide on June 16, 2005. My family has
Why the Holidays Hurt Why the Holidays Hurt Why the Holidays Hurt Richard Obershaw Coping with the Reality of Those Special Days This article first appeared in Holiday Hope: Remembering Loved Ones During Special Times (Fairview Press, 1998) and is reprinted with permission. People who are grieving fear holidays. Holidays can be times when they have to face more than their wounded emotions can bear. Why is grief more acute during the holidays? What follows are some of the reasons holidays can make grief more pain
Saturday Morning Message: Spiritual Changes Saturday Morning Message: Spiritual Changes Saturday Morning Message: Spiritual Changes \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, The lead picture today comes from the TAPS New Mexico Parents Retreat. I thought it portrayed in a balloon heading up to the sky, our thoughts ascending to the spiritual part of our lives. When a loved one dies, we go through many shifts as our life changes direction. We begin to look at what we need to keep and what we should leave behind. I do my best thinking when I a
Saturday Morning Message: TAPS National Seminar Highlights Saturday Morning Message: TAPS National Seminar Highlights Saturday Morning Message: TAPS National Seminar Highlights \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, There are so many things to do at the TAPS seminars, but the one thing to which I most look forward is meeting others whom I only know from computer connections. Working from home on the chats and with the Saturday Morning Message and Writers’ Circle Newsletter, I don’t meet those I contact in person until that seminar. It is a thrill to person
Reunion and Remembrance Reunion and Remembrance Reunion and Remembrance Ruth Crocker By the time I had been kissed by the eighth guy in line in front of me, my face carried the scent of a potpourri of aftershave lotions. This was not a typical reunion with family, old friends, or classmates. I hadn’t known any of these graying men, now in their sixties and seventies, until this moment. As they hugged me and planted friendly kisses on my cheek or grasped my hands, they gave brief introductions. "I'm Joe. I carri
July Was Not Kind July Was Not Kind July Was Not Kind Linda Ambard I took a terrible fall out running at the end of July. Both arms were scraped, and my left rib cage and leg were criss-crossed with terrible scrapes. I knew the right side of my body was traumatized, but I never even recognized the unseen injuries that haunt me know. One and a half weeks after that spill, I came home from a relatively short run for me. Within an hour, I could not use my right leg. My leg buckled and locked. I couldn't get
Photos: teams4taps NFL Draft teams4taps NFL Draft Military Survivors attend NFL Draft \| TAPS TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (26 photos) teams4taps, photos, military survivor Flickr Album Event Photos: TAPS Military Survivors attended NFL Draft in Nashville, Tennessee April 26, 2019
"Sweet" Holiday Memories "Sweet" Holiday Memories "Sweet" Holiday Memories \| TAPS Kelly McHugh-Stewart The friendships made within a military community are unlike any other. Growing up on U.S. Army posts across the country, I was fortunate to make friends all over the world. Moving here to there, none of us Army Brats had regular "hometowns;" rather, each post we were stationed at became our hometown, and with every new friendship came a close bond. Even after my dad's death in 2010, the traditions and friendships
Carry the Load in Honor of our Nation's Fallen Heroes Carry the Load in Honor of our Nation's Fallen Heroes Carry the Load in Honor of our Nation's Fallen Heroes \| TAPS TAPS “It has been an honor to walk with so many gold star families this year on our national relay. To carry their loved ones and share their stories is what makes partnering with TAPS so impactful. We magnify our missions.” ~ Debbie Wright, Executive Director of Carry The Load Phoenix, Arizona Carry The Load’s mission to restore the true meaning of Memorial Day wa
Three Ways to Boost Memories of Loved Ones This Holiday Season Three Ways to Boost Memories of Loved Ones This Holiday Season Three Ways to Boost Memories of Loved Ones This Holiday Season \| TAPS Allison Gilbert We know holidays can be challenging for individuals who’ve lost loved ones, but they also offer opportunities for keeping memories alive. Below are three of my favorite ways to honor and celebrate the family and friends we never want to forget. Use Social Media If you can’t be with your family for the holidays, share memories of your love
Community, Camaraderie and Compassion on the International soccer stage Community, Camaraderie and Compassion on the International soccer stage Community, Camaraderie and Compassion on the International soccer stage \| TAPS Alex Meyers The sign “Empowered women empower women” greeted visitors as they were welcomed to the SheBelieves Cup, an international women’s soccer tournament. SheBelieves Cup is held in the United States every year and invites women’s national teams around the world to come together to show their talents and efforts both on and off the field.
It’s a Colorful Life It’s a Colorful Life It’s a Colorful Life \| TAPS Lalaine Estella At 58 years old, Beatriz Alvarado had never been interested in painting or drawing. She never picked up a paintbrush or drawing pencils. She never felt she was creative. When her son, 27-year-old Oscar Eduardo Dulanto, an Army veteran, died by suicide in February 2017, Beatriz found herself in a dark and hopeless place. She said she had lost the most precious thing a mother could lose—a child. Beatriz struggled to find her
Close In Our Memories, Forever In Our Hearts Close In Our Memories, Forever In Our Hearts Close In Our Memories, Forever In Our Hearts Leila Murray My name is Leila Murray, widow of LCDR Gary E. Murray, Ret. USN. Gary was a 30 year veteran of the U.S. Navy and highly-decorated. He served in Desert Shield, Desert Storm, and other conflicts of war. While serving his Country, he received (5) Navy Commendation Medals, (5) Navy and Marine Corps Achievement Medals, (8) Sea Service Deployment Ribbons, (2) National Defense Service Medals, (3) G
Bring on 2013 Bring on 2013 Bring on 2013 Dayna Wood January 4th 2011 was the last day I ever saw Ko. It wasn’t the last time we talked, but it was the last time he hugged and kissed me. I remember him holding me in the lobby of my apartment building and whispering in my ear “You know I’ll be back, right?” He didn’t come back. As I learn to carry on without him here physically, I’m constantly presented with new challenges and hurdles. Most recently, the challenge has been acclimating and adapting to life
Our Marine Corps Birthday Tradition Our Marine Corps Birthday Tradition Our Marine Corps Birthday Tradition Bob Bagosy On November 09, 2008, I drove from Atlanta, GA to Camp Lejeune, NC to pick up my son, Tommy. We were making the long drive to Philadelphia, PA to attend the Marine Corps Birthday at a small corner bar in the heart of South Philadelphia. The bar, Cookies Tavern, was founded by a Marine who served in Vietnam in 1968. The bar is very, very small. It is similar to one found in a lot of eastern cities and is no bigg
An Etiquette for Grief An Etiquette for Grief An Etiquette for Grief \| TAPS Crystal Gromer This article was previously published in the March 1996 issue of Vogue magazine and the Summer 1996 issue of TAPS Magazine. On a hot night in July 19 years ago, my husband Mark died. He was 24 years old. He was smart and witty and bright, he had thick brown hair that he pushed off his forehead and that shone auburn and a little gold in the light, and he loved me, of that I have no doubt. In all the pictures I have of him
A Mother’s Love A Mother’s Love A Mother’s Love \| TAPS Kristi Stolzenberg Maria Gonzales Pamela Wanga In kindergarten, out of all the books and flashy trinkets at the school book fair, I used my money to purchase Love You Forever by Robert Munsch. If I had to guess, I was likely drawn to the toddler sitting in the middle of pure chaos of his own creation — thinking it was probably a hilarious book. If you’ve ever read the book, you know that — while it has glimmers of humor that I now find relatable as a par
Saturday Morning Message: Fondest Memories of TAPS Events Saturday Morning Message: Fondest Memories of TAPS Events Saturday Morning Message: Fondest Memories of TAPS Events Carol Lane Good Morning, Survivors from many parts of the country want to know what to expect before they go to a TAPS event. For many, it may be helpful to read a bit about what others have found when they traveled to a TAPS event. In the most recent TAPS Magazine, there is an article titled "What to Expect at a Seminar" by Dr. Carla Stumpf-Patton that describes how you will m
Bocce, Good Food, and Bright Futures Bocce, Good Food, and Bright Futures Bocce, Good Food, and Bright Futures \| TAPS Kristi Stolzenberg What could bocce and the Culinary Institute of America possibly have in common with TAPS? As it turns out, a couple of things: the Michael C. Cerullo Memorial Veteran Scholarship, which is awarded to a deserving TAPS survivor on the road to culinary greatness, and the annual bocce tournament that funds it, hosted by Michael’s surviving son, Paul. Summer 2023 Michael’s son,
Saturday Morning Message: What do your dreams mean? Saturday Morning Message: What do your dreams mean? Saturday Morning Message: What do your dreams mean? \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, Dreams don’t come to all survivors, but when they do, they are vivid. I chose this picture to open the message this week. It shows that love never goes away and a reminder can come at the strangest of times if we just look for it. It breaks through the dawn to show us that our loved ones are still with us. There are several ways the responders this week sha
Healing Your Grieving Heart Healing Your Grieving Heart Healing Your Grieving Heart Bonnie Carroll Alan Wolfelt “Believe in the wonderment of life, the magic of love, and the reality of death.” – Carroll Bryant You may have heard of the "stages" of grief, popularized in 1969 by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross's landmark text, On Death and Dying. In this book she lists the five stages of grief that she saw terminally ill patients experience in the face of their own impending deaths: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and accep
Myths about Children and Grief Myths about Children and Grief Myths about Children and Grief Darcie Sims Children are often shuttled off or ignored by adults who may be grieving themselves and do not have the energy, resources, or understanding necessary to help them. Society tends to pacify itself with the rationale that children are resilient and thus fails to recognize that children need as much compassion and support as adults require in adapting to dramatic or traumatic changes in their lives. Loss, regardless of t
What NOT to Say to a Military Widow What NOT to Say to a Military Widow What Not to Say to a Military Widow - TAPS News Jenna Grassbaugh "Death leaves a heartache no one can heal; love leaves a memory no one can steal." ~Author Unknown When I first lost Jon, I didn't know how to let anyone help me. I retreated behind an emotional wall and kept almost everyone in my life at arm's length. The only person I wanted to talk with about how I was feeling was the one person I couldn't talk to ever again. I didn't have the energy to
Pedaling Fast, Headed Nowhere Pedaling Fast, Headed Nowhere Pedaling Fast, Headed Nowhere Darcie Sims I was riding my new exercise bike this morning, making good on a new year’s resolution, when I got to thinking. Here I am, pedaling fast and getting nowhere. It’s hard work. Riding an exercise bike is a lot like grieving. We seem to be pedaling fast and sometimes, it seems as if we are going nowhere. Grief just seems to become an endless ribbon of concrete, stretching far past my limits of endurance. It never seems t
Life Will Be Different, But It Can Still Be Good Life Will Be Different, But It Can Still Be Good Life Will Be Different, But It Can Still Be Good \| TAPS Heather Gray Blalock The first holiday season after my husband was killed in action was when I began to sense that God must have a sense of humor. A Costco-sized bag of candy each had bribed my children out of trick-or-treating. The thought of cold creeping as a single parent with masked little ones was more than I could handle. Feelings of guilt lingered over that until Thanksgiving. So,
Faces of TAPS: Surviving Father Matt Daud’s Story Faces of TAPS: Surviving Father Matt Daud’s Story Faces of TAPS: Surviving Father Matt Daud’s Story \| TAPS TAPS Matt Daud Faces of TAPS is a new series where, in their own words, survivors both celebrate the lives of their military loved ones and reflect on their personal grief journey. We’re kicking off this series with a reflection from Matt Daud, surviving father of USMC Cpl Christopher Daud. After spending nearly 40 years as a pilot for United Airlines, Matt retired from flying in April
Tending the Garden of Grief with Mindfulness Meditation Tending the Garden of Grief with Mindfulness Meditation Tending the Garden of Grief with Mindfulness Meditation \| TAPS Heather Stang In my small, mid-Maryland farming town, autumn is a time of harvest and abundance. Farmers markets are in full swing, nourishing our bodies with healthy vegetables and filling our senses with vibrant colors and smells. And yet, it is also a time when nature’s energy begins to wind down in preparation for winter, which I like to think of as nature’s sacred pause.
The Unstuck Approach The Unstuck Approach The Unstuck Approach James Gordon I believe treatment for depression should be integrative. It’s a way to get unstuck, to help us move through and beyond depression and other difficulties that our lives may bring us. In my book, “Unstuck: Your Guide to the Seven-Stage Journey Out of Depression,” I explain that this comprehensive approach combines conventional treatments, including various forms of psychotherapy, with other techniques to enhance a person’s emotional lif
Unity is What Makes Us Stronger Unity is What Makes Us Stronger Unity is What Makes Us Stronger Amy Dozier To My TAPS Family, We have had quite the journey together, haven't we? Thank you for being there for me in my darkest hours and in my brightest accomplishments. We have grown so much and found our way to accomplish things we never imagined. Yet, the world around us recently seems a sad and scary place. The discontent and lack of purpose in others, serves to remind me, yet again, how important it is to find my balanc
I Never Got to Know You… I Never Got to Know You… I Never Got to Know You… Betsy Beard Those of us who have lost a loved one know what it is like to be left holding up our end of a relationship in which the person who died is no longer able to contribute in a meaningful, vocal, earthly, timely fashion. As adults, we cling to the connections we had, the memories we shared, the life we once lived. We touch the physical reminders of our loved one: clothes, “toys,” pictures, favorite belongings. And we strain to remember
TAPS Men's Program TAPS Men's Program TAPS Men's Program \| TAPS TAPS TAPS understands that most men need other men to help pave the way for them to grieve. Whether you are a surviving brother, father, battle buddy, adult child, or spouse, you have a home at TAPS. So what is it about the TAPS Men’s Program that bonds us to each other? We are men who lost loved ones who served this great country. We lean on each other to share the experience, strength, and hope that we each have inside us– no matter
Fargo Marathon Fargo Marathon Fargo Marathon Rachael Hill On May 19th I ran my first full marathon in Fargo, ND with the TAPS Run and Remember team. I have had people ask me, “Why would you want to run 26.2 miles? That’s crazy!” Yes, it is definitely crazy but in my mind if you can run a marathon, you can do anything! My running adventures began in the summer of 2009. We had been in Alaska for not quite a year and I randomly decided I wanted to run a half marathon. Jeff was always very supportive of what
Sibling Loss Sibling Loss Sibling Loss Heidi Horsley In the United States today, there is a natural, assumed order to the deaths we will experience in our lives. We believe that our grandparents will die first, then our parents, then our brothers and sisters, and then our children. However, that is not how it happens for thousands of people each year, and that is not how it happened for me. When my brother Scott and cousin Matthew were just 17 years old they died together in a fiery car accident.
Grief and Fiction Grief and Fiction Grief and Fiction \| TAPS Joan Donaldson I am a freelance writer — I’ve published a number of magazine articles and personal essays, but when my son, the late Sargent Mateo Donaldson, took his life in February 2015, I could only stare at my computer screen. About five months later, at a writer’s conference where I was leading a workshop, a friend asked, “How are you doing? Have you written about your son’s death?” “No,” I shook my head. I couldn’t even form the words to tel
Fishing Fishing Tricia Redmond * Surviving Mother of Daniel J. Thoma My son took me fishing the other day… I met him on a crystal blue lakeside, where the sun danced across the water like scattered diamonds. The fresh air smelled of pine and damp moss. A small sandy beach stretched along the shore; its serenity broken only by the faint creak of a rickety old boat dock swaying with the gentle ripples. It had been a while since I last saw my son, and my heart ached with the weight of time lost. Yet, t
Agency Over Agent Orange Agency Over Agent Orange Agency Over Agent Orange \| TAPS Claire Henline “Hey ‘CG’ Can I get you anything?” It was the question my dad always asked me when I was really sick. The kind of sick he could tell just by the look of me — a crumpled up little lump of ginger lethargy on the couch with my woobie — was not just the ‘7 to 2 get out of school flu’ I sometimes came down with. It came in a tone of deep sincerity and earnest determination to fix it however best he could. His hea
Climbing the Mountain of Grief Side by Side Climbing the Mountain of Grief Side by Side Climbing the Mountain of Grief Side by Side \| TAPS Rachel Hunsell These past few months, we’ve been called to focus on what’s really important. We’ve been physically distancing from our friends, loved ones and strangers to protect them and ourselves. We’ve strategized our outings for basic needs like groceries, healthcare, fresh air and sanity. Our 2020 Mount Kilimanjaro Expedition team returned home from the rooftop of Africa, the peak of the mount
Carrying Each Other Through the Load of Grief Carrying Each Other Through the Load of Grief Carrying Each Other Through the Load of Grief \| TAPS Betty Medlock My parents, who were part of the Greatest Generation, taught me to respect and honor Memorial Day. But, while several members of my extended family served our country, none died while serving. So, for much of my life, Memorial Day remained mostly an abstract holiday. All that changed in January 2016, when I lost my son, Michael. After Michael’s death, Memorial Day shifted from ab
When Your Soulmate Dies: A Guide to Healing Through Heroic Mourning "When Your Soulmate Dies: A Guide to Healing Through Heroic Mourning" "When Your Soulmate Dies: A Guide to Healing Through Heroic Mourning" TAPS Looking for a book to read that can provide encouragement and hope as you continue on your grief journey? Alan Wolfelt, Ph.D., a renowned expert on the topic of healing in grief, has written a new book about honoring your soulmate and your grief as you find a path to purpose and joy. Read an excerpt from “When Your Soulmate Dies:” Grief is everything
Mending the Family Circle Mending the Family Circle Mending the Family Circle Darcie Sims Coping with the Death of a Loved One Once I lived the American Dream. We were a happy family, military by career and parents by choice. And with the birth of our son, our family was to have been complete…whole…two kids so no one would have to fight over a window in the back seat, two kids because I had a lot of recipes that served four. We called him Big A and he had a big sister named Allie. We were the American Dream, at least
Video: Engaging Empathy in the Workplace - A Guide for Grievers Video: Engaging Empathy in the Workplace - A Guide for Grievers Engaging Empathy in the Workplace - A Guide for Grievers Webinar \| TAPS Institute Rachel Kodanaz Often a sad employee is perceived to be a bad employee, yet all employees will cope with sadness and grief due to death and non-death loss at some point in their career. An employee who is overwhelmed by grief often feels a discouraging lack of support when transitioning back to the workplace, whether their return is in-person or virt
Video: TAPS Thanks Gillette and the NFL for their Support Video: TAPS Thanks Gillette and the NFL for their Support Video: TAPS Thanks Gillette and the NFL for their Support \| TAPS TAPS Media At the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS), we understand that the families of fallen military and veteran service members will carry their losses forever. As they grow, surviving children will miss the parent they lost at grand milestones — like birthdays and graduations, but at those quiet milestones as well — learning to tie shoes, shave, and all
Independence is Happiness Independence is Happiness Independence is Happiness \| TAPS International Bushra Farkish TAPS International, Afghanistan withdrawal, war, military families Independence Freedom is priceless. It should never be taken for granted. My wish for Afghanistan is the feeling of freedom I have found in America.
Video: Asking for Help When You Are Grieving Video: Asking for Help When You Are Grieving Asking for Help When You Are Grieving Webinar \| TAPS Institute Kenneth Doka There are many reasons it can be difficult to ask for help when we need it, and grief can make it more challenging. There could be fear that we are bothering someone with our problems. Maybe grief has taken too much energy and we can't figure out what we need or how to reach out. If a prior request for help or support was met with unhelpful or hurtful responses, we may hesi
Video: From Grief to Peace - Journaling for Life After Loss Video: From Grief to Peace - Journaling for Life After Loss From Grief to Peace - Journaling for Life After Loss Webinar \| TAPS Institute Heather Stang Journaling does more than simply record your day-to-day experience; it helps you organize your thoughts, process traumatic events, and find meaning through your lived experience. The many health benefits of journaling supported by science include reduction in symptoms associated with depression, anxiety, and trauma; improved memory; and increa
Video: Grief in the Holidays: Finding Meaning and Hope as a Family Video: Grief in the Holidays - Finding Meaning and Hope as a Family Video: Grief in the Holidays - Finding Meaning and Hope as a Family Webinar \| TAPS Institute Andy McNiel Adorned with lights, bright colors, and stories of good cheer, the holidays can stand in stark contrast to the sorrow experienced by those grieving the death of a loved one while also raising children or teenagers. While adults may be anticipating the holidays with apprehension, children, even when grieving, often look for
Videos: 2020 Health and Wellness Sessions Videos: 2020 Health and Wellness Sessions Videos: 2020 Virtual Military Survivor Seminar Health and Wellness Sessions \| TAPS TAPS Media video, health and wellness, yoga, artful grief, relaxation techniques 2020 National Seminar Wellness Recordings Created for the 2020 Virtual National Military Survivor Seminar, these leading experts in self-care share methods of healing for body, mind, and soul.
Widows Write for TIME's Battleland Blog Widows Write for TIME's Battleland Blog Widows Write for TIME's Battleland Blog TAPS Widows Write for TIME's Battleland Blog About Experiences at This Weekend's TAPS National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar Widows Rebecca Morrison and Leslie McCaddon are blogging for TIME.com's Battleland blog about their experiences at the TAPS National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp in San Diego this weekend. Hundreds of survivors are attending this event for care and support, an
Photos: Young Adult Louisville Young Adult Louisville Experience Young Adult Military Survivor Louisville Experience \| TAPS TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (80 photos) habitat for humanity, taps young adult, photos Flickr Album Event Photos: TAPS young adult survivors work on Habitat for Humanity project and enjoy outdoor adventures together July 10-11, 2018.
The Art of Healing The Art of Healing The Art of Healing Sharon Strouse National Suicide Survivor Seminar I lay in bed with my eyes closed this Monday morning, this ninth anniversary of my daughter Kristin’s death. She ended her life on October 11, 2001. She was just 17 years old, a freshman at Parsons School of Design in New York City, with dreams of being a fashion designer. She succumbed to a misdiagnosed bi-polar illness, an illness that reared its head in January of her senior year, an illness we did not
Deadlines Nearing to Save on College Costs Deadlines Nearing to Save on College Costs Deadlines Nearing to Save on College Costs TAPS After the death of a loved one, the financial commitment of attending college may seem daunting. However, the financial burden can be lifted with the help of scholarships available to surviving family members from various federal, state and private organizations. TAPS is here to assist eligible survivors to gain access to these education benefit resources. Graduation is around the corner. It is time
An Easter Angelversary An Easter Angelversary An Easter Angelversary Allicia Johnson March 27 is Easter Sunday this year. To many it’s a day to reflect on the life of Christ and the miracle that occurred over two thousand years ago. For many others, it’s that beautiful time of year when Cadbury Mini Eggs grace the grocery store shelves. In general, it is a good time to focus on a new season of hope and new beginnings as flowers bloom and we look excitedly toward warmer days and summer fun. What is not to like about
Spotlight on Service: SFC Pablo Ruiz III Spotlight on Service: SFC Pablo Ruiz III Spotlight on Service: SFC Pablo Ruiz III TAPS Army soldier of 11 years, husband of 19 years, father of a 19-year-old daughter in college, part-time student pursuing a degree in Management Human Resources…you’d think he’d have no time to volunteer. But that’s where you’d be wrong. Sergeant First Class Pablo Ruiz, III, is a dedicated TAPS volunteer. In the two years he has been volunteering for TAPS, his commitment has surpassed all expectations. As a
Run and Remember: Honoring the Memory of Windy25 Run and Remember: Honoring the Memory of Windy25 Run and Remember: Honoring the Memory of Windy25 TAPS On April 6, 2005 a U.S. Army helicopter crashed near Ghazni, Afghanistan killing all five crew members along with 11 passengers. The call-sign of the CH-47 Chinook helicopter was Windy25, one of the aircraft belonging to F Company, 159th Aviation Regiment, “Big Windy.” Each year since the crash, members of the unit have gathered to honor their battle buddies and memorialize the loss. In t
The Capacity to Love Requires the Necessity to Mourn The Capacity to Love Requires the Necessity to Mourn Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. * TAPS Advisory Board “Every time we make the decision to love someone, we open ourselves to great suffering, because those we most love cause us not only great joy but great pain. The greatest pain comes from leaving...the pain of the leaving can tear us apart. Still, if we want to avoid the suffering of leaving, we will never experience the joy of loving. And love is stronger than fear, life stronger than death,
Video: Helping Grievers Draw Boundaries Video: Helping Grievers Draw Boundaries Helping Grievers Draw Boundaries Webinar \| TAPS Institute Joy Berger It’s often said that grief is hard work, so adding the job of setting boundaries to a griever’s to-do list can feel overwhelming. Yet the importance of setting healthy boundaries in grief – with relatives, friends, co-workers, and even with social media – has a clinical foundation based in well-known contemporary grief theories. Join Dr. Berger in exploring ways to empower grieving per
Video: Thanksgiving Message from Bonnie Carroll Video: Thanksgiving Message from Bonnie Carroll Video: Thanksgiving Message from Bonnie Carroll \| TAPS Bonnie Carroll Thanksgiving can be a challenging time for those who have an empty seat at their table. As we celebrate, we honor and remember the lives lived, we remember the blessings that have been given to us by those we loved, and we know that love transcends this physical life. Your TAPS Family is here for you and you are not alone. If you or someone you know needs our support, the TAP
Video: Going through Crisis Survive and Thrive TAPS Talks Video: Going through Crisis Survive and Thrive Video: Going through Crisis Survive and Thrive \| TAPS Institute Eric Hipple Former National Football League quarterback Eric Hipple will share his strategies for building resilience and offer tips (like the ones he shares with current Lions' players) for staying mentally and physically healthy during these challenging times. This live connection is recorded by the TAPS Institute for Hope and Healing.® Select image below to play the
Video: Love After Loss (for Men) Video: Love After Loss (for Men) Video: Love After Loss (for Men) \| TAPS Institute Justin Yopp Warren Pellegrin This webinar, recorded by the TAPS Institute for Hope and Healing® and presented by Dr. Justin Yopp and Peer Mentor Warren Pellegrin, discusses how surviving spouses can find ways to honor their spouse or partner who has died while also choosing to love again. Select image below to play the video. Webinar Slides Love After Loss (for Men) (PDF) webinar, video, women dating ag
Video: Love After Loss (for Women) Video: Love After Loss (for Women) Video: Love After Loss (for Women) \| TAPS Institute Carla Stumpf Patton Susan Starnes This webinar, recorded by the TAPS Institute for Hope and Healing® and presented by Dr. Carla Stumpf-Patton and Ms. Susan Starnes, discusses how bereaved female survivors can learn to honor their spouse or intimate partner who has died while also embracing new relationships and choosing to love again. Select image below to play the video. Webinar Slides Love After Los
Video: Managing Substance Use during this Challenging Time TAPS Talks Video: Managing Substance Use during this Challenging Time Video: Managing Substance Use during this Challenging Time \| TAPS Institute Franklin Cook With people facing additional stress and isolation, concerns about substance use and self-medication are real. This live connection, recorded by the TAPS Institute for Hope and Healing® and presented by Franklin Cook, MA, CPC, addresses these concerns of substance use, whether for yourself or for a loved one. Select image below to
Video: Meditation for Coping with Difficult Emotions Video: Meditation for Coping with Difficult Emotions Video: Meditation for Coping with Difficult Emotions \| TAPS Institute Heather Stang This webinar was recorded by the TAPS Institute for Hope and Healing® and presented by with Heather Stang, MA, C-IATY. This video recording of the webinar discusses how the physical sensation of emotion can be your ally during tough times and even provide you with inner wisdom and insight. This technique can be applied during a regular meditation practice,
Video: Photographing Grief Video: Photographing Grief Video: Photographing Grief \| TAPS Institute Litsa Williams Eleanor Haley This workshop was recorded by the TAPS Institute for Hope and Healing® at TAPS Headquarters in Arlington, Virginia and presented by What's Your Grief co-founders Litsa Williams and Eleanor Haley. This video recording of the workshop presents photography techniques and exercises for exploring and expressing your grief story. It is appropriate for anyone interested in using photography as a creat
Video: TAPS and NFL Partner for Salute to Service Video: TAPS and NFL Partner for Salute to Service Video: TAPS and NFL Partner for Salute to Service TAPS Media Salute to Service is a year-round effort to Honor, Empower, and Connect our nation's service members, veterans, and their families. Since 2017, TAPS has been one of the NFL's military nonprofit partners. We are grateful to the league and clubs across the country for honoring and remembering our fallen military heroes and their families as part of the NFL Salute to Service. See all TA
Saturday Morning Message: Honoring Our Loved Ones Saturday Morning Message: Honoring Our Loved Ones Saturday Morning Message: Honoring Our Loved Ones \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, This week there were many unique responses to the question about how we honor our loved ones. If you are interested in recognizing your loved one by working with TAPS on a project, look at the TAPS Volunteer Central page or TAPS Peer Mentors page. The lead photo this week shows volunteers getting TAPS information ready to be sent out. After my initial grief, I s
Saturday Morning Message: Replying to Comments About Your Grief Journey Saturday Morning Message: Replying to Comments About Your Grief Journey Saturday Morning Message: Replying to Comments About Your Grief Journey Carol Lane Good Morning, This week's question had so many responses that I am going to keep my comments short, but I wanted to send you a picture of a rose, my favorite flower, and have you read this poem, "Don't Tell Me That You Understand," written by Joanetta Hendel and sent by Karl, father of Tre. Karl wrote, "I sent my family and friends this g
Finding Joy in the Holidays Finding Joy in the Holidays Finding Joy in the Holidays Bunnie Jacquay Have you found joy? It is especially hard as the holiday season approaches, but occasionally I catch a glimpse. The stores are filled with decorations, the mall is filled with children waiting for a chance to speak with Santa, and my heart is filled with an overwhelming sense of dread as it battles my brain for control. As a divorcee who has buried her only child, it is easier to think of these days as just another date
Leaving a Mark on History Leaving a Mark on History Leaving a Mark on History \| TAPS Matt Davison In serving incarcerated veterans, I formed bonds with warriors who took part in wars spanning Korea, Vietnam, and the Gulf War. One vet, who is incarcerated at the Federal Correctional Institution at Terminal Island, California, precedes all these wars and has become a valued friend over the past five years. Because of confidentiality issues, I will not give his complete name, but will refer to him simply as Rene. This is
Saturday Morning Message: Coping With Sudden Grief Emotions Saturday Morning Message: Coping With Sudden Grief Emotions Coping With Sudden Grief Emotions \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, Being there to listen without judgement is one wonderful gift TAPS gives to those who connect with our organization. The opening photo shows a TAPS Military Mentor listening carefully to a young survivor. Through our mentors, caring staff and our Helpline Team, TAPS is here 24/7 to listen and to provide support to all survivors. The Saturda
Art Therapy: Expressing Grief — And Hope — Through Collages Art Therapy: Expressing Grief — And Hope — Through Collages Art Therapy: Expressing Grief — And Hope — Through Collages Sharon Strouse On an exceptionally warm winter day earlier this year, I was on my way to New York. Nearly 16 years earlier, I had taken a similar train to New York’s West Side to identify my 17-year-old daughter Kristin’s body. She took her own life on October 11, 2001. That moment created a before and after and permanently altered my experience of the past, present, and f
Active Remembering Active Remembering Active Remembering \| TAPS Allison Gilbert If you’re fortunate, like me, soon after your loved one dies, a swarm of friends will embrace you in all sorts of meaningful ways. They’ll pack the funeral home, attend the wake or shiva, and a few may even leave homemade meals wrapped in tin foil by your front door so you won’t have to cook for a while. Rituals surrounding loss tend to kick into gear automatically, and I benefitted from being the passive recipient of support when e
Saturday Morning Message: Favorite TAPS Activities Saturday Morning Message: Favorite TAPS Activities Saturday Morning Message: Favorite TAPS Activities Carol Lane Good morning, When attending a TAPS event, many things stand out, but this week survivors were asked to write about some of their favorites. For me, the best part of any TAPS event is meeting in person those of you who participate in the Saturday Morning Message either through writing or reading it. I look forward to connecting with you again. Questions and songs are the backbo
Terrorism Cannot Take Any More From Me Terrorism Cannot Take Any More From Me Terrorism Cannot Take Any More From Me Linda Ambard Until 9/11, I lived a shroud of naïve ignorance believing that terrorism was something that would never touch my country or my life. Terrorism was something that happened to other people in far off lands. I had lived in Europe for eight years at that point and while there were threats, I never really considered myself to be in danger. Phil deployed numerous times all over the world and I had long ago
Will Trauma Grief Counseling Help? Will Trauma Grief Counseling Help? Will Trauma Grief Counseling Help? Janice Harris Lord Sudden death in the military isn’t the same as an anticipated death. That’s why “stages of grief” and books about grief following illnesses or advanced age seldom make sense after a traumatic death. Those who don’t know better may tell you, “Well, when he signed up for the military, everyone knew that this could happen.” Yes, most families consider the risk, and at the same time pray and expect that their
You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part One You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part One You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part One \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt Author's Note: I have been a grief counselor and educator for more than 40 years, and “crazy” is the most common way in which people describe their early grief to me. Let me assure you straight off: It is normal to feel crazy after a significant loss. But you’re actually not going crazy in the way you may think. What you’re doing is grieving. This six-part article series
Taste the Love Taste the Love Taste the Love \| TAPS Chris Shank I've heard it said that smell is the sense most closely tied to memory. That is understandable as one of my fondest memories would be going to my grandmother's house and smelling the roast that had been cooking for hours. The meal she would make for us is something I can remember since I was old enough to understand what food was and is now a staple in our adult households. It should come as no surprise this was my brother Jeremy's favorite foo
When Does the Hurt Go Away? When Does the Hurt Go Away? When Does the Hurt Go Away? Artis Henderson On a recent morning, I was working in the front yard of my house in Florida when a neighbor walked over. Before then, we'd never said more than hello, but on that morning he wanted to talk. So we talked about my mango trees, about the drought, about the avocado he'd planted that never took hold. When we'd run through all of it and I couldn't think of where to take the conversation next, my neighbor surprised me by saying,
Variety of Events Available for Surviving Military Children Variety of Events Available for Surviving Military Children Variety of Events Available for Surviving Military Children TAPS TAPS Youth Programs has many great events to support surviving military children in 2017. At each of these events, children are paired with military mentors — active duty, reserve or National Guard service members or recent veterans who volunteer their time to create bonds with surviving military children and help them learn coping skills. We hope your child will jo
Real Men Do Cry Real Men Do Cry Real Men Do Cry Jon Ganues Always the alpha male, I was used to denying myself any show of weakness. I had to show strength, control and the ability to fix anything with a roll of duct tape. But I learned duct tape can’t fix some things – like a broken heart or family relationships when there are differences in grief expression. I lost my son, Airman 1st Class Jon Wesley Ganues, Jr., on June 2, 2009, to suicide, five days before his squadron deployed to Iraq. He was a secur
Movie Review: "Thank You For Your Service" May Be Triggering and Emotional for Military Survivors Movie Review: "Thank You For Your Service" May Be Triggering and Emotional for Military Survivors "Thank You For Your Service" May Be Triggering and Emotional for Military Survivors TAPS TAPS appreciates those who seek to tell the story of military families, from the impact of combat service for the veteran to the broader impact on families bereaved by a military death. We strive to incorporate a trauma-informed approach to care for our military families who have suffered a loss. Recent
Flashback Fridays: Cherished Memories from a Child Revisited Cherished Memories from a Child Revisited Cherished memories from a child revisited \| TAPS TAPS Each Friday, please visit our blog and join us as we take a look back at stories, people and events that have shaped who we are today. We are a family of survivors honoring our selfless heroes who paid the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom. We are grieving parents, spouses, children, siblings, grandparents, fiancées, battle buddies and loved ones. We are hope. We are strength. We are TAPS.
Peace and Purpose Peace and Purpose Peace and Purpose Kelly Griffith I love running in the evenings, especially during the fall when the sun starts to set just a little bit earlier. After a long day I relish in the opportunity to disconnect from my phone and get outside. As the colors dance across the sky in the last rays of sunlight, I feel more connected to nature, my faith and myself. This golden hour reminds me of the peace I experienced in knowing I wasn’t alone on this journey. There is this moment wh
Adventures Give Us Strength in the Wilderness of Grief Adventures Give Us Strength in the Wilderness of Grief Adventures Give Us Strength in the Wilderness of Grief \| TAPS Rachel Hunsell When grief halts everything we once knew, we are asked to pause, reflect, and then rebuild. Planning and preparation are the gateway to discovering something new outside of who we are — learning to step into what we can become if we simply keep going. On TAPS Expeditions, we explore the wilderness of our earth and of our grief. We discover the ways in which the
Saturday Morning Message: Supporting Others in Grief Saturday Morning Message: Supporting Others in Grief Saturday Morning Message: Supporting Others in Grief Carol Lane Good Morning, When someone you know experiences the death of a loved one, words just don't seem enough. Finding ways to help others who are grieving can be easier when you think of the support others gave you. Thanks to the survivors who wrote this week as they reflected on what was meaningful to them and used those memories to generate hints on best ways to reach out when som
Compassion for All Compassion for All Compassion for All Heather Stang If grief is the cold, dark winter, then compassion is the spring. Out of the pain of loss comes the recognition that we are all in this together, and we need each other to make it from one season to the next. Fortunately, there is no shortage of compassion within the TAPS family. Strangers who have never met connect with one another wholeheartedly. United in the shared human experience of profound loss, we offer each other kind words, big
Give Yourself the Gift of Memory Give Yourself the Gift of Memory Give Yourself the Gift of Memory Bob Baugher "How long has it been?" Bereaved people are often asked this question. I ask it of you. How long has it been? Now answer this question. How long does it feel like it's been? A common answer is, "On one hand it feels like yesterday. On the other, it feels like a long time ago." Why do we experience our lives like this? How can something five or ten years ago feel recent, yet something that occurred last week ca
Finding the Path Finding the Path Finding the Path Stacey Hrvatin Walking in the Footsteps of Others If you have not connected with others, register for a TAPS Regional Seminar or request a Peer Mentor. Now that I am a year and a half beyond the death of my fiancé, I am able to hold my footing a bit longer these days and look back. I look back at this journey so far and I can’t believe this is the life I’ve lived. On an early September morning I was greeted by the men in uniform we so dread seeing when o
What Cody Taught Me What Cody Taught Me What Cody Taught Me Michael Lewis "To live in the hearts of those you leave behind is never to die." ~ Robert Orr Every day, when I get to work and flip the switch on my computer, I come face to face with the image of Private First Class Cody Grater, posing under the famous Hands of Victory crossed swords monument in Baghdad. He’s replete in full army gear, holding his rifle, finger poised on the trigger. Cody died on July 29, 2007 when his guard position was struck by a
Mother-in-law and Daughter-in-law Mother-in-law and Daughter-in-law Mother-in-law and Daughter-in-law Stephanie Frogge The searing pain of loss envelops us completely in the days and weeks and months following the death of our beloved, whether that person was our son, daughter, brother, sister, husband, wife, daddy or mommy, or significant other. The pain effectively keeps us focused on ourselves and the unique relationship we had with the person who is now gone forever from our earthly lives. It is hard to cope with our own
Growing Up TAPS: Understanding How Our Children Grieve Growing Up TAPS: Understanding How Our Children Grieve Growing Up TAPS: Understanding How Our Children Grieve Andy McNiel There is a personal nature to how each of us grieves, and that individuality extends to our children and teenagers. They uniquely grieve the death of their person based on (but not limited to) their personality type, individual preferences, how they most feel comfortable being in the world, the nature of the relationship they shared with their person before they died, and
Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night Linda Ambard I liked the person I became in the 23 years I was married to Phil. I learned to trust myself and to dream big. Life was filled with possibility, fun, and the comfort that came from knowing that even if I fell or failed, someone, my someone, believed in me and would love me anyway. It was strength forged of time tested hurdles, life events, and the moments. Like most people, I thought there would be mor
Working Through the Hard Times Working Through the Hard Times Working Through the Hard Times Rachael Hill It's been a while since I wrote my last blog…not because I didn't have anything to share, but because I found myself in a place I didn't know how to get out of. Our move last summer took a lot more out of me than I had anticipated and I just wasn't handling it well. I found myself doing all the things I said I would never do. I laid on the couch all day, I gained weight, and I lost all motivation. Ultimately, I just wa
I Was Married. I'm Widowed. I'm Still Married. I Was Married. I'm Widowed. I'm Still Married. I Was Married. I'm Widowed. I'm Still Married. Shanette Booker He was a tall caramel complexioned man. His smile lit up when he walked into the room. He had a sense of humor that would cheer a person up no matter their mood. His hugs melted away the bad and made your days better. He was born Andre Booker. I knew him as Dre; his military family knew him as Booker. He was a son, a brother, a father, a Marine, a Soldier, a friend, and my husband. Wh
My Death Wish My Death Wish My Death Wish Michele Hernandez Moving from Misery to Meaning It is an odd and frightening sensation to wish you were dead. After my husband died I fervently wished I could die, too. The first time I read that grieving people sometimes fantasize about death, I was relieved. My entire life I had appreciated the gift of life; to suddenly and frequently wish it away was a disconcerting and lonely experience. When my husband, Phil, was hit by a car, the initial shock provided
Breaking Barriers and Building Strength: My Journey to the Ice Track Breaking Barriers and Building Strength: My Journey to the Ice Track Breaking Barriers and Building Strength: My Journey to the Ice Track \| TAPS Brandon Blackmore Editor's Note: As TAPS Education Support Service Advocate Brandon Blackmore prepares to compete in the Empire State Winter Games January 30 to February 2, 2025, he shares words of inspiration that resonate with anyone journeying through grief as much as they do for a competitive athlete. There’s something humbling about standing a
5 Tips Surviving Military Families Need to Know as They Prepare for College 5 Tips Surviving Military Families Need to Know as They Prepare for College 5 Tips Surviving Military Families Need to Know as They Prepare for College \| TAPS Ashlynne Haycock-Lohmann In 2002, I lost my dad while he was training to deploy to Iraq. I was 10 years old. College was the last thing on my mind, and it was not high on my mother's priority list either. Years later, as I opened the mailbox and pulled out “the big envelope” from American University, I knew my dad would have been obnox
You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part Two You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part Two You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part Two \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt Editor's Note This is part two of a six-part series adapted from Dr. Alan Wolfelt's book, You're Not Crazy — You're Grieving. Part one appeared in the summer issue of TAPS Magazine. It's Important for You to Feel Safe and Comforted Have you felt stressed, anxious, fearful, agitated, panicked, worried, or uneasy since the death? I’m not sure grief is possib
Saturday Morning Message Saturday Morning Message Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, The Saturday message started out as a weekly letter between a few friends that met at the TAPS National seminar over a Memorial Day many years ago. This week the Saturday message will be posted on the TAPS blog as well as the TAPS Online community, and in the TAPS peer group sites. The love and support that comes through being a part of the TAPS family is wonderful. The questions that are asked apply to all survivors
Grieving vs. Mourning Grieving vs. Mourning Grieving vs. Mourning \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt I often remind myself that there is no love without loss. And there is no integration of loss without the experience of mourning. Your capacity to love requires the necessity to mourn. To deny the significance of mourning would be to believe that there is something wrong about loving. Yet I truly believe our greatest gift from God is our capacity to give and receive love. Likewise, it is a great gift that we can openly mourn our
Finding New Perspective on Holiday Traditions When You’re Grieving Finding New Perspective on Holiday Traditions When You’re Grieving Finding New Perspective on Holiday Traditions When You’re Grieving \| TAPS Kim Ruocco As the holidays approach I am flooded with memories of Christmases filled with laughter, love and special family togetherness. My husband John always took the holidays seriously, and his enthusiasm was infectious. One of my favorite memories is from when the children were little, maybe 3 and 5 years old. We couldn’t get the boys to sleep, a
Video: Jon Stewart urges Military Survivors and Veterans to apply for PACT Act Benefits Video: Jon Stewart urges Military Survivors and Veterans to apply for PACT Act Benefits Video: Jon Stewart Urges Military Survivors and Veterans to apply for PACT Act Benefits \| TAPS TAPS Media Veterans exposed to toxins while serving and survivors whose military and veteran loved ones died of toxic-exposed illnesses may qualify for benefits under #PactAct. You now have until 11:59 p.m. Eastern on Monday, August 14, 2023 to file your PACT Act claim — or submit your intent to file — with the
Video: Finding Meaning in Afghanistan Video: Finding Meaning in Afghanistan Finding Meaning in Afghanistan Webinar \| TAPS Institute TAPS International The true lessons of war are not in what our warriors died for but for what, and for whom, they lived. ~ Bonnie Carroll, President and Founder, TAPS The last several weeks have been heartbreaking for the people of Afghanistan, the military men and women who served, their families, our nation, and the world. Join TAPS for a panel discussion and hear from different voices on how the
Video: Grief River - A Nature-Inspired Map for Understanding Grief and Loss Video: Grief River - A Nature-Inspired Map for Understanding Grief and Loss Video: Grief River - A Nature-Inspired Map for Understanding Grief and Loss \| TAPS Institute Thom Dennis This webinar was recorded by the TAPS Institute for Hope and Healing® and presented by Dr. Thom Dennis, DMin, LCPC, CT. It looks at how to navigate our way through the waves of grief with the agility of a seasoned kayaker. This program invites participants to consider their most recent loss in the context of the e
Video: TAPS Is Here for You TAPS Talks Video: TAPS Is Here for You Video: TAPS Is Here for You \| TAPS Institute Bonnie Carroll Audri Beugelsdijk Brittany Bonin-Bruder Join your TAPS Family for a conversation about TAPS sharing our mission, grief support services offered, and casework support available. Have questions ready for our casework team regarding benefits and assistance for you during this challenging time and be prepared to get involved in all TAPS has to offer! This live connection, recorded by the TAPS Instit
A Father’s Promise A Father’s Promise A Father’s Promise \| TAPS Robert Gilbert "Brimfield Fire F-82 to RMH on the HEAR frequency, I'm en route 'hot' to your location with a 34-year-old female, full-term second pregnancy, with contractions less than five minutes apart, and my ETA is less than four minutes to your ER!" That was my radio transmission as I raced Robert’s mom, Catherine, to Robinson Memorial Hospital (RMH), as an EMT-I and firefighter. Upon arrival, the RMH Police parked my vehicle; Catherine was r
The Importance of Hope The Importance of Hope Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. * TAPS Advisory Board “Today…I open my heart’s hand to allow…the touch of hope.” – Julia Cameron  Someone you love has died. In your heart, you have come to know your deepest pain. Your grief has brought challenges that seem beyond your own capacity to survive. Grief creates chaos, and your soul cries out. You naturally experience a sense of helplessness and, at times, the depths of hopelessness. It all feels so incredibly overwhelming. And as
Finding Our Way With Ford Finding Our Way With Ford Finding Our Way With Ford \| TAPS Patty Stubenhofer David El-Taher, Laura Rose Monk Crystal Becker So much life happens in cars. They carry us where we need to go — where we want to go. In them, we laugh, pep ourselves up for big days, and sing along to our favorite songs without inhibition. They are a part of first dates and first days of school; with their help, we bring home new puppies and new babies. On long drives, we share stories and snacks, nap deeply in the pa
TAPS Makes Access to Education Benefits Easier TAPS Makes Access to Education Benefits Easier TAPS Makes Access to Education Benefits Easier TAPS 2016 has been an incredible year for TAPS Education Services. With new staff on board we have been able to support more than 500 surviving families in accessing college education through the VA, state waivers and private scholarships. The education program took it on the road for presentations to parents and students at TAPS National and Regional Seminars and at Snowball Express. TAPS partnersh
Continuing the Legacy of Love Continuing the Legacy of Love Continuing the Legacy of Love \| TAPS Audri Beugelsdijk You may have heard it said that to love someone means to forever have a piece of your heart existing outside of your body. When that person dies, it can naturally leave us feeling a lack of wholeness. That hole in our hearts calls out to us and can only be occupied by the person who created it because it is shaped just like him or her. Honoring the love and life that created this space in your heart doesn't m
Walking in Dad's Footsteps Walking in Dad's Footsteps Walking in Dad's Footsteps \| TAPS Weston Haycock Editor’s note: November is National Children’s Grief Awareness Month. Throughout the month, we will feature stories from surviving children, grief professionals and TAPS staff to draw attention to the needs of grieving children, and how best to support them. When I was born, my father wanted to name me after one of his favorite artists. He and my mother argued between whether I would be named Leonardo, Fletc
In the Silence of Grief: The Tapestry of Love and Loss In the Silence of Grief: The Tapestry of Love and Loss In the Silence of Grief: The Tapestry of Love and Loss \| TAPS Ramesh P. Elaidam In the quiet corners of my heart, where the echoes of cherished voices reside, I find solace in the tapestry of memories woven by those I’ve lost. Their absence, though profoundly felt, becomes a canvas upon which I paint the colors of their laughter, their wisdom, and the love that forever lingers. I allow myself the grace to grieve, understanding that each
A Toast to the Ones We Lost A Toast to the Ones We Lost A Toast to the Ones We Lost \| TAPS Sonia Rai There’s a certain type of person with a certain type of heart who, before setting out to do something they love, will see the inherent danger, corruption, and uncertainty ahead of them, and still choose to act anyway. This is a toast to them. They’re the type of people who aren’t in it for the glory because they realize that glory isn’t something that can be found, rather it can only be bestowed. So they go,
Men's Virtual Chat Men's Virtual Chat: Healing Alongside Other Surviving Fathers Men's Virtual Chat: Healing Alongside Other Surviving Fathers \| TAPS Timothy Jabin My son, Tyrone Anthony, died by suicide on July 10, 2020. The last time that I spoke to my son was on July 4, his 25th birthday. After Ty’s death, I was contacted by Don Lipstein with the TAPS Survivor Care Team. Don invited me to participate in the Men’s Virtual Chat. Two Wednesdays a month a group of about 20 to 30 surviving men gather in this virt
If Our Sons Were to Meet If Our Sons Were to Meet If Our Sons Were to Meet \| TAPS Martha von Diezelski Maxey Lance Corporal Andrew Joseph Maxey, U.S. Marine Corps Corporal Craig Moir, U.S. Marine Corps If our sons were to meet, your boy and mine In that place where they have gone Would they spend time together and become good friends Like their moms left here have done? A friendship born out of unthinkable loss Is a gift we did not choose But we know that we have each other And with tha
Video: Bonnie Carroll Memorial Day Message Video: Memorial Day Message from Bonnie Carroll, TAPS President and Founder Video: Memorial Day Message from Bonnie Carroll, TAPS President and Founder \| TAPS TAPS Media For all of us in the TAPS family, every day is our Memorial Day. As military survivors, we are our loved ones living legacies. TAPS is here for you, we are a family, we hold you close in our hearts now and always. Select image below to play. remember the fallen, memorial day For all of us in the TAPS family, every da
Video: How TAPS cares for Surviving Military Children Video: How TAPS cares for Surviving Military Children Video: How TAPS cares for Surviving Military Children TAPS Media At TAPS, we provide care and support to surviving military children and our model of care at TAPS Youth Programs is based on extensive research and experience. Learn more at TAPS Youth Programs. Select image below to play. child grief, grief camp TAPS provides care and support to surviving military children and our model of care at TAPS Youth Programs is based on ext
Video: TAPS Family Camps for Surviving Military Families Video: TAPS Family Camps for Surviving Military Families Video: TAPS Family Camps for Surviving Military Families \| TAPS TAPS Media At TAPS we believe that to fully support surviving military children, we need to support the whole family. At our Family Camps we provide care, support, and a lot of fun to help improve communication and family dynamics. Learn more at TAPS Youth Programs. Select image below to play. taps family camps, child grief, grief camp At our Family Camps we provide
Video: For TAPS Families Every Day is Memorial Day Video: For TAPS Families Every Day is Memorial Day Video: For TAPS Families Every Day is Memorial Day \| TAPS News Skyler Henry TAPS Military Surviving Families come together Memorial Day weekend 2021 in Washington, D.C. Military Surviving spouse Lesliee Ojeda shares her experience as a survivor but also as a counselor helping others heal. Video by Skyler Henry of CBS News in Washington Select image below to play. remember the fallen, memorial day Military Surviving spouse Lesliee Ojed
Video: Thinking of you on Independence Day Video: Thinking of you on Independence Day Video: Thinking of you on Independence Day, Message from Bonnie Carroll \| TAPS Bonnie Carroll This 4th of July, we thank you for your loved one's service to this country in defense of the freedoms we celebrate today. Select image below to play. July 4, america's fallen heroes, help for military families This 4th of July, we thank you for your loved one's service to this country in defense of the freedoms we celebrate today.
Love Lives On Virtual Show & Auction to benefit the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors Love Lives On Virtual Show & Auction to benefit the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors Love Lives On Virtual Show & Auction to benefit the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors \| TAPS News The Villager TAPS supporter news, Colorado Celebrity Classic The Villager September 17 2020 Celebrity Classic to Benefit TAPS offers a virtual event of music, and live, silent and Fund-A-Mission auctions. Love Lives On is live online Friday, October 2, 2020.
Video: The Smart thing and the Right thing are usually the Same thing TAPS Talks Video: The Smart thing and the Right thing are usually the Same thing Video: The Smart thing and the Right thing are usually the Same thing \| TAPS Institute Robert Delaney This live connection, recorded by the TAPS Institute for Hope and Healing® and presented by Robert J. Delaney, explores strategies for navigating today's world. Select image below to play the video. Resource Guide Game of Life (PDF) webinar, video, grief and loss education Boeing Sponsor of Institute
Losing Todd, A Mother's Journey Losing Todd, A Mother's Journey Losing Todd, A Mother's Journey \| TAPS Jeanne Weaver The Gift at the Water's Edge Three days after our son First Lieutenant Todd Weaver was killed, I walked the beach near our home, not knowing whether I had the physical strength to keep my legs moving or whether I would collapse onto the sand. I walked, searching for peace in my heart and some degree of comfort or understanding. I thought, “Who can I turn to? Where do I turn?” That day, I reached the jett
Photos: Suzanne Youngkin Visit Suzanne Youngkin Visit to TAPS Headquarters Suzanne Youngkin Visit to TAPS Headquarters TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (37 photos) taps headquarters, photos, honor the fallen Flickr Album Event Photos: First Lady of Virginia Suzanne Youngkin toured TAPS headquarters in Arlington, Virginia.
The Dirt on Grief Camps The Dirt on Grief Camps The Dirt on Grief Camps Molly Pickett Tina Barrett I don’t pretend to fully understand what happens at grief camp that changes the way grief feels, but I do believe in it. Deeply. I believe in it because I lived it. I was 12 when my dad died and I was launched into my own grief journey. My life was changed. Not for a day, or a week, or a year. It was my life – changed forever. I felt wrecked. Wrecked is the accurate word. Reflecting back 16 years later, I realize tha
Photos: teams4taps Detroit Lions July 26 teams4taps Detroit Lions Inspiring Change Partner Training Camp Detroit Lions Inspiring Change Partner Training Camp \| TAPS TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (15 photos) teams4taps, photos, military survivor Flickr Album Event Photos: TAPS Families attended the Detroit Lions Inspiring Change Partner Training Camp in Dearborn, Michigan on July 26, 2019.
Tending the Garden of Grief With Mindfulness Meditation Tending the Garden of Grief With Mindfulness Meditation Tending the Garden of Grief With Mindfulness Meditation Heather Stang Autumn in my small farming town in mid-Maryland is a time of harvest and abundance. Farmers markets are in full swing, nourishing our bodies with healthy vegetables and filling our senses with vibrant colors and smells. And yet it is a time where nature's energy begins to wind down in preparation for winter, which I like to think of as nature's sacred pause. Autumn is
Gold, Commonsense, and Mirth Gold, Commonsense, and Mirth Gold, Commonsense, and Mirth Michele Hiester Marcum Underwear. Yes, I said underwear. Very few holiday traditions grab your attention as quickly as the mere mention of men’s shiny gold sateen underwear. But before I can impart our newest family secret, I must bring you up to speed with how we arrived at this quirky tradition. One of my fondest childhood memories of Christmas mornings is the stocking tradition. Every year, it was a race among my sister, my
Surviving Son Carries Father’s Legacy Through VA Career and Lasting Bond with TAPS From Losses to Legacies: Surviving Son Carries Father’s Legacy Through VA Career and Lasting Bond with TAPS Surviving Son Carries Father’s Legacy Through VA Career and Lasting Bond with TAPS Kristi Stolzenberg Children could teach us a thing or two about life — the significance of a seemingly insignificant moment and the people and things that truly matter. Garrett Schmidt, the proud surviving son of U.S. Army National Guard Sergeant Michael Joseph Schmidt, would challenge that we could learn
Don’t Mourn My Loss, Remember the Good Things Don’t Mourn My Loss, Remember the Good Things Don’t Mourn My Loss, Remember the Good Things \| TAPS Charles Corr Army Major Andrew Olmsted was killed in Iraq on January 3, 2008, at the age of 38. In anticipation of his possible death, Major Olmsted wrote out some of his thoughts. On January 13, 2008, the Saint Petersburg Times published a portion of what Major Olmsted wrote, including the following sentence: “I would prefer that people remember the good things about me rather than mourning my
When stress awakens the emotional eater in you When stress awakens the emotional eater in you When stress awakens the emotional eater in you \| TAPS Joanne Steen Has the stress of the COVID-19 pandemic reawakened the emotional eater in you? If so, you’re in good company. We often turn to comfort food when we get stressed and life gets crazy. In today’s world, in addition to the regular stressors we contend with, such as personal, workplace and family stress, this pandemic has unleashed sources of stress that are new and uncomfortable to u
Making the Trip Making the Trip Making the Trip Kelly Griffith Inching along at a pace so slow that I was sure slugs would cross the American Legion Memorial Bridge before me, my mood went to a dangerous place – one where I could hear sirens in my head warning that an emotional meltdown was imminent. I was sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic at the Virginia/Maryland border. The windows were rolled down instead of using air conditioning, letting the 100+ degree summer air spill into the car and making my skin
The Grief Journey and My Adult Children The Grief Journey and My Adult Children The Grief Journey and My Adult Children Linda Ambard One of the most difficult aspects of losing Phil was I could barely help myself. I couldn’t fix my own hurts and I couldn’t fix the hurts in my children. It wasn’t that we invented things to implode the closeness we had once shared, but we couldn’t make our way out of the darkness. Nobody wanted anyone else to feel worse if they were having a hard day, so we kept in our own lanes. The collateral d
Love is in the Air Love is in the Air Love is in the Air Michele Hiester Marcum Ahhh… Welcome to February, the month of cupids, romance and rocketing Hallmark profits! I confess that I’ve never been much of a romantic when it comes to Valentine’s Day. Don’t get me wrong. I cherish time with my loved ones, and I appreciate well-intentioned cards and the occasional box of chocolates. But when it comes to the glitzy bling, extravagant dinners and romantic outings, I’m more apt to choose the practical, simple
The Unicorn Song “The Unicorn” Song “The Unicorn” Song \| TAPS Kristi Stolzenberg The Story Behind the TAPS Tradition In nearly any other room, anywhere else in the world, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, with four stars resting on each shoulder, would project effortless confidence — the product of decades of military service that demanded coolness under pressure, being able to read situations quickly and accurately, and always being ready to face challenges. That was not the case when Genera
Letting Nature Lead Letting Nature Lead Rachel Hunsell * Program Manager, TAPS Outdoor Engagement * Surviving Sister of Marine Corps LCpl J. Kyle Price Letting Nature Lead: Seeking Awe and Healing With A Breath of Fresh Air Rachel Hunsell * Program Manager, TAPS Outdoor Engagement * Surviving Sister of Marine Corps LCpl J. Kyle Price It’s time to get outside and take a deep Breath of Fresh Air — on the coast, in the woods, along the river, on the prairie, in the park, and out your front door. Whether 60 secon
Supporting Grieving Military Children: What We All Need To Know Supporting Grieving Military Children: What We All Need To Know Supporting Grieving Military Children: What We All Need To Know Bonnie Carroll November 15 is National Children's Grief Awareness Day. At the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS), we provide comfort and care to anyone grieving the death of a loved one every day, but we take today to recognize the special challenges that military children face after losing a parent, and the strengths they carry that can help them cope
Grief Rumination Spiral Part 1: Softening the Cycle Grief Rumination Spiral Part 1: Softening the Cycle Heather Stang, MA, C-IAYT * TAPS Advisory Board Have you ever noticed your thoughts circling around the same painful place? You’re washing dishes or driving or trying to sleep, and suddenly — there it is again: the same what-if, the same image, the same sentence you’ve already replayed a hundred times. When Grief Gets Stuck in a Loop Grief has a way of pulling us into loops. It’s not because we’re doing anything wrong. It’s because loss is
Photos: TAPS Togethers TAPS Togethers TAPS Togethers for Military Survivors TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (19 photos) taps togethers, survivors Flickr Album Event Photos: 2024 TAPS Togethers
TAPS Survivor Newsletter November 2024 TAPS Survivor Newsletter November 2024 TAPS Survivor Newsletter November 2024 TAPS Media Tips for Grievers During the Holidays A typically joyous time of year may include added stress and complicated emotions for the bereaved. We've compiled a few reminders to carry with you throughout the season. In this issue: Tips for Grievers During the Holidays Share Your TAPS Togethers: Friendsgiving Experience 2025 NFL Pro Bowl Experience Understanding How Our Children Grieve Past Events
Video: TAPS Statement for the Record April 10 Video: TAPS Statement for the Record Video: TAPS Statement for the Record presented on April 10, 2024 \| TAPS News Candace Wheeler TAPS Media Candace Wheeler, Director, TAPS Government and Legislative Affairs presents TAPS Statement for the Record on issues of importance to the 120,000-plus surviving family members of all ages, representing all services, and with losses from all causes who TAPS is honored to serve at the April 10, 2024 Legislative Hearing before the House Committee on Veterans’
Video: TAPS Statement for the Record July 10 Video: TAPS Statement for the Record Video: TAPS Statement for the Record presented on July 10, 2024 \| TAPS News Candace Wheeler TAPS Media Candace Wheeler, Director, TAPS Government and Legislative Affairs presents TAPS Statement for the Record on issues of importance to the 120,000-plus surviving family members of all ages, representing all services, and with losses from all causes who TAPS is honored to serve at the July 10, 2024 Legislative Hearing before the House Committee on Veterans’ A
Video: Transformative Mentoring: Promoting Growth and Healing through Restorative Relationships Video: Transformative Mentoring: Promoting Growth and Healing through Restorative Relationships Transformative Mentoring: Promoting Growth and Healing through Restorative Relationships Webinar \| TAPS Institute Karl Hillway Mentoring transforms lives and yields positive impacts on all involved. In the face of their own traumatic experiences Active Duty and Veteran Service Members find growth, hope and healing through mentoring bereaved children of military loss. Join us for a panel discussion
Video: Remember the Families of the Fallen this Memorial Day Video: Remember the Families of the Fallen this Memorial Day Video: Remember the Families of the Fallen this Memorial Day \| TAPS TAPS Media "Who is Memorial Day for? It's for all of us. It's for all Americans to remember we enjoy our many freedoms because of a brave few who dedicated their lives to this country and who died much too soon from wounds seen and unseen." ~ Bonnie Carroll, TAPS President and Founder Learn more about the TAPS Mission and ways to support TAPS. Select image below t
Video: Supporting Our Kids, Supporting Ourselves Video: Supporting Our Kids, Supporting Ourselves Supporting Our Kids, Supporting Ourselves Webinar \| TAPS Institute Tina Barrett Each of us responds to loss in our own unique ways. As parents, we often find ourselves in the challenging role as the primary support for children amidst our own profound grief. Further complicating the dynamic, our personal way of grieving may be quite different than how our children grieve. This interactive workshop will explore Darcie Sims's four grief styles an
Video: Mindfulness as Your Superpower Video: Mindfulness as Your Superpower Video: Mindfulness as Your Superpower Webinar \| TAPS Institute Jill Harrington-LaMorie Heather Stang Mindfulness isn’t just for naturally calm people. It is a superpower that can help us cope with the most challenging emotions—even grief. Using superhero case examples, during this workshop, you will learn how mindfulness can help you navigate loss, improve your health, and cultivate much-needed compassion for your grieving heart. This video was recorded a
Video: Holiday Message from Bonnie Carroll and TAPS Video: Holiday Message from Bonnie Carroll and TAPS Video: Holiday Message from Bonnie Carroll and TAPS Bonnie Carroll With a message of love and care, the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) President and Founder Bonnie Carroll, sends you a warm holiday greeting . Your TAPS Family is here for you, with comfort, support and resources every day of the year. This holiday and always, you are not alone. Select image below to play. thinking of you at christmas, america's fallen h
Video: Meditation and Self-Care for Stressful Times TAPS Talks Video: Meditation and Self-Care for Stressful Times Video: Meditation and Self-Care for Stressful Times \| TAPS Institute Heather Stang This live connection, recorded by the TAPS Institute for Hope and Healing® and presented by Heather Stang, MA, C-IATY, discusses how the physical sensation of emotion can be your ally during tough times and even provide you with inner wisdom and insight. This technique can be applied during a regular meditation practice, or on-the-spot in real life
Video: Strategies for Coping When You are Feeling Isolated TAPS Talks Video: Strategies for Coping When You are Feeling Isolated Video: Strategies for Coping When You are Feeling Isolated \| TAPS Institute Dale Larson Grief can bring feelings of loneliness, and today’s current reality may be adding to that feeling of isolation. This live connection, recorded by the TAPS Institute for Hope and Healing® and presented by Dale Larson, PhD, shares some ways to cope with those feelings and invite participants to share their suggestions. . Select image
Video: TAPS and VA Partner Together for Veteran Benefits Video: TAPS and VA Partner Together for Veteran Benefits Video: TAPS and VA Partner Together for Veteran Benefits TAPS Media The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) and the Department of Veterans' Affairs (VA) share a common commitment. They ensure that those who have served their nation, and their families, receive the support, care, information and resources they need. Through a strong partnership and collaborative spirit, TAPS and the VA work together to honor our nation's lega
Video: The Love Takes Action Series New York Life Video: The Love Takes Action Series New York Life Video: The Love Takes Action Series New York Life \| TAPS New York Life Foundation Terri Jones, Manager for the TAPS Survivor Care Team, shares her story about supporting surviving families who lost their military loved one. When Terri is not supporting and working with her TAPS family, she spends her downtime making masks for others during this COVID-19 crisis. Thank you to New York Life Foundation for their generous support of TAPS throughout
Video: Too Close for Comfort - Mental Health and Wellness During Changing Family Dynamics TAPS Talks Video: Too Close for Comfort - Mental Health and Wellness During Changing Family Dynamics Video: Too Close for Comfort - Mental Health and Wellness During Changing Family Dynamics \| TAPS Institute Kim Ruocco Carla Stumpf Patton This live connection, recorded by the TAPS Institute for Hope and Healing® and presented by Kim Ruocco and Carla Stumf-Patton, discusses how to maintain mental health and wellness during changes in the family dynamics. Select image below to play the video.
Veteran climbs Denali to raise money for TAPS Veteran climbs Denali to raise money for TAPS Veteran climbs Denali to raise money for TAPS Kerry McGinley For Seth Whitfield, eight days of brutal winds, near-zero visibility and frigid temperatures over potentially lethal terrain on North America’s highest peak wasn’t just about challenging himself physically; it was also a chance to raise awareness and funds for TAPS. Whitfield used his personal vacation as the basis of a campaign to raise $10,600 for TAPS, a nonprofit that supports the fa
Video: Loss, Grief, and the Quest for Meaning Video: Loss, Grief, and the Quest for Meaning Video: Loss, Grief, and the Quest for Meaning \| TAPS Institute Robert Neimeyer This webinar was recorded by the TAPS Institute for Hope and Healing® and presented by Robert A. Neimeyer, PhD. This video recording of the workshop discusses how to help us understand how growth can come from grief, despite the emotional challenges that mourning brings. Select image below to play the video. webinar, video, meditation, grief and loss education Bo
Inaugural Parade TAPS Marches in Inaugural Parade TAPS Marches in Inaugural Parade TAPS Nearly 200 surviving military family members joined TAPS in the Inaugural Parade for the 45th President of the United States Donald J. Trump on Friday, January 20, 2017. The families took part in the parade to honor their loved ones, carrying photos of their fallen heroes on TAPS paddle fans and wearing photo buttons as they marched down Constitution Avenue. For Deborah Whitaker, surviving mother of SSG Dustin Whitaker, l
Video: A Man For Others: The Erik Kristensen Story Video: A Man For Others: The Erik Kristensen Story A Man For Others: The Erik Kristensen Story CBS Sports A SEAL in Birkenstocks teams4taps and CBS Sports paid tribute to United States Naval Academy graduate and fallen U.S. Navy SEAL, LCDR Erik S. Kristensen (Class of '96), and honored his parents at the October 7, 2017 Navy vs. Air Force game. LCDR Erik S. Kristensen, teams4taps, honor the fallen A Man For Others: The Erik Kristensen Story Video Container Main Content 2 teams4taps and CBS
Photos: TAPS Togethers TAPS Togethers TAPS Togethers for Military Survivors TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (79 photos) taps togethers, survivors Flickr Album Event Photos: 2021 TAPS Togethers
Photos: TAPS Togethers TAPS Togethers TAPS Togethers for Military Survivors TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (348 photos) taps togethers, survivors Flickr Album Event Photos: 2019 TAPS Togethers
Incredible Benefits of Gardening Incredible Benefits of Gardening Incredible Benefits of Gardening \| TAPS Happy DIY Home Editors Note: Amid ongoing pandemic-related restrictions, it’s important to find activities that allow you to stay active, engaged and healthy—activities that can also provide helpful benefits as we continue our grief journey. Consider gardening and learn from the article below how getting in the dirt can be fun, lift your spirits and keep you on a healthy, healing path – right in your own backyard. Thi
Saturday Morning Message: Feeling Your Loved One Close Saturday Morning Message: Feeling Your Loved One Close Saturday Morning Message: Feeling Your Loved One Close Carol Lane Good Morning, Sometimes odd things happen that make you take notice. The discussion for this week focuses on a time or event when something happened and you felt your loved one close. This could be something spectacular or a smaller event that almost went unnoticed. This past week, I had one of those times I almost missed. Three years ago, Hurricane Irene destroyed one of
How Writing Helped Me Heal How Writing Helped Me Heal How Writing Helped Me Heal Julie Burget Missing Max: Finding Hope After My Marine Son’s Death Had I any previous vision of that title, I would have been overcome with fear. And now, knowing that I authored such a book, I’m just overcome. On August 4, 2010, we received word that our son, Marine Corporal Max Donahue, had been hit by an Improvised Explosive Device (IED). He was serving as a working dog handler in Afghanistan. Max lost both legs and his right arm in
Run with TAPS in 2019 Run with TAPS in 2019 Run with TAPS in 2019 \| TAPS TAPS It’s not too late to commit to setting your resolution to run with TAPS in 2019. We’ve got two fun races coming up in February and March, with each race offering multiple distances for every level of runner. Photo: TAPS Archive The last day to register for the Disney Princess Half Marathon Weekend is Monday, January 28. The weekend event will be held February 21-24 in Orlando, Florida. Entries are available for all distances—5K, 10K, h
Runners Around the World Raise Support for TAPS Runners Around the World Raise Support for TAPS Runners Around the World Raise Support for TAPS TAPS From Disney, to Vegas, to Alaska, Team TAPS pounded out over 15,000 miles to honor our fallen heroes and raise money and awareness for our TAPS families. It was a year of historic firsts with Team TAPS members participating in the New York City Marathon, Ragnar Relays and an Ironman. We also joined forces with an outstanding group of female high school softball players in Utah and expanded our
Summer Good Grief Camp Opportunities Summer Good Grief Camp Opportunities Summer Good Grief Camp Opportunities TAPS Make Summer Plans Now This summer, TAPS has space for more than 80 surviving children from around the country to gather in California and North Carolina for two Good Grief Campouts and an inaugural teen hiking adventure in the Cumberland area of Maryland and Pennsylvania. Away from the familiarity of daily life, and without the distractions of electronics, connections center around shared experiences, special m
Photos: Representative Dean Phillips Meets Military Survivors and TAPS Staff Representative Dean Phillips Meets Military Survivors and TAPS Staff Representative Dean Phillips Meets Military Survivors and TAPS Staff Photos TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (28 photos) taps honor guard gala, photos Flickr Album Event Photos: Representative Dean Phillips was selected for the 2023 Ted Stevens Leadership Award for his commitment to surviving military families.
Colorado Celebrity Classic Raises over $330,000 for TAPS Colorado Celebrity Classic Raises over $330,000 for TAPS Colorado Celebrity Classic Raises over $330,000 for TAPS Christine Burtt The Colorado Celebrity Classic hosted its 14th Annual Saluting Our Fallen Heroes Dinner & Songwriters Show on Saturday, June 16, 2018 at the Grove Family Ranch in Centennial, Colorado. About 518 guests enjoyed an evening of fun and music and raised more than $330,000 for TAPS. Headliner Pam Tillis, a two-time Grammy and Country Music Award winner and daughter
Yuengling Lagers for Heroes Salute Veterans and Their Families Yuengling Lagers for Heroes Salute Veterans and Their Families Yuengling Lagers for Heroes Salute Veterans and Their Families \| TAPS TAPS TAPS is proud to have the support of America's Oldest Brewery, D.G. Yuengling & Son during the month of May as together we raise a toast to honor our military heroes. Fiercely independent for nearly 190 years, Yuengling is thankful and proud of the brave and dedicated service men and women who make tremendous sacrifices and represent our country's freedom,