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Dispelling the Misconceptions Dispelling the Misconceptions Dispelling the Misconceptions Alan Wolfelt About Suicide and Grief and Mourning Excerpted from The Wilderness of Suicide Grief: Finding Your Way Misconception: A misconception is a mistaken notion you might have about something—in other words, something you believe to be true but that is not true. Misconceptions about grief are common in our society because we tend not to openly mourn or talk about grief and mourning. You can see how we’d have misconceptions
The Journey through Grief The Journey through Grief The Journey through Grief Alan Wolfelt The Mourner’s Six Reconciliation Needs The death of someone loved changes our lives forever. And the movement from "before" to "after" is almost always a long, painful journey. I have learned that if we are to heal, we cannot skirt the outside edges of our grief. Instead, we must journey all through it, sometimes meandering the side roads, sometimes plowing directly into its raw center. I have also learned that the journey
Growing Up TAPS: The Power of Outdoor Play Growing Up TAPS: The Power of Outdoor Play Growing Up TAPS: The Power of Outdoor Play Andy McNiel Spend Time Outside to Balance Screen Time Raising children today comes with the added challenge of technology — in the form of television, computers, tablets, and phones — competing for their attention. These devices offer 24/7 access to social media, games, movies, and other forms of entertainment. While technology has improved our lives in many ways, research shows that too much screen t
Honor and Healing on the Diamond teams4taps: Honor and Healing on the Diamond Honor and Healing on the Diamond \| TAPS TAPS Baseball –– Our National Pastime Over the years we’ve cheered for our favorite teams and players. we have worn jerseys, t-shirts and caps to show our spirit and pride. baseball brings to mind cherished memories shared with friends and family. Since the inception of teams4taps in 2013, the teams, players, coaches, and fans of Major League Baseball have welcomed hundreds of TAPS families at ballparks acr
Saturday Morning Message: Enjoyable Activities Saturday Morning Message: Enjoyable Activities Saturday Morning Message: Enjoyable Activities \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, Sharing enjoyable activities with a loved one can be the high point of our lives. When those activities are things we did with our loved ones, continuing to do them may keep these special people close to us. The picture today is one I took of a trip to Maine with the whole family when the kids were young. I still love to go to the beach. Sometimes I sit by the ocean o
Volunteers are invaluable Volunteers are invaluable Volunteers are invaluable \| TAPS Lalaine Estella Volunteerism is at the very foundation of TAPS. Last year, more than 3,200 volunteers spent a combined total of 67,200 hours supporting military survivors. Every program at TAPS benefits from the selfless service of volunteers who share our mission of caring for the families of America’s fallen military heroes. Behind the effort to recruit and retain volunteers at TAPS are Sharon Paz and Lori Branch. Both Sharon and
Someone to Lean On TAPS Peer Mentor: Someone to Lean On Someone to Lean On \| TAPS Lalaine Estella Peer Mentor Sara Wilson (left), surviving spouse of retired Navy Captain David Wilson, and her mentee, Kellye Bone (right), surviving spouse of retired Air Force Technical Sergeant Thomas Bone, have similar stories—their husbands had long military careers in similar jobs, they died of similar causes, and they both have daughters around the same ages (11 and 7 for Sara; 21, 13, and 9 for Kellye). They met for the
Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night Linda Ambard I liked the person I became in the 23 years I was married to Phil. I learned to trust myself and to dream big. Life was filled with possibility, fun, and the comfort that came from knowing that even if I fell or failed, someone, my someone, believed in me and would love me anyway. It was strength forged of time tested hurdles, life events, and the moments. Like most people, I thought there would be mor
International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day \| TAPS Carla Stumpf Patton Saturday, November 23, 2024, is International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day (also referred to as ISOSLD or Survivor Day). As a national nonprofit founded in 1994, the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS), is a peer-based grief support organization serving all who are grieving the death of a service member or veteran. In 2008, the TAPS Suicide Prevention and Postventio
Companioning as a Reflection of Love Companioning as a Reflection of Love Companioning as a Reflection of Love Alan Wolfelt To experience and embrace the pain of loss is just as much a part of life as to experience the joy of love. As they should be, thoughts, feelings and behaviors that result from the death of a person who has been loved are impossible to ignore. The experience of grief is very powerful. As we encounter personal loss in our lives, we have the opportunity to make a willful choice of how we are going to use the
Saluting Service and Sacrifice: Gillette, NFL Team Up for TAPS Saluting Service and Sacrifice: Gillette, NFL Team Up for TAPS Saluting Service and Sacrifice: Gillette, NFL Team Up for TAPS Kristi Stolzenberg From the outside looking in, the death of a military service member is a moment — one unimaginably difficult day on a calendar page for a grieving family. This loss is eventually paved over by a new normal, and life goes on for the fallen hero’s family. But the view is much different at the center of the loss — it’s so much more than a single day;
Baseball Was There As My Refuge Baseball Was There As My Refuge Baseball Was There As My Refuge \| TAPS Soo Kim After the death in June of Tyler Skaggs, a starting pitcher for the Los Angeles Angels, team manager Brad Ausmus talked about what it’s like to play baseball when a teammate suddenly dies. “Once the game starts, it’s actually a refuge because it takes your mind off it, distracts you for a little while,” he said. “When you go back to your hotel room, you’re reminded of reality.” He was referring to the death of a
Saturday Morning Message: Coping with Waves of Grief Saturday Morning Message: Coping with Waves of Grief Coping with Waves of Grief \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, Every person who grieves experiences times of sadness. We describe them as waves since like the ocean waters arriving on the beach, we can feel that despondency gently for a short period of time or strongly lasting much longer. Today survivors share what they find helpful when those waves come upon them. We hope you find these suggestions useful. Reme
Saturday Morning Message: Turning Grief Into Action Saturday Morning Message: Turning Grief Into Action Saturday Morning Message: Turning Grief Into Action \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, One of the things I did to turn my grief into action after the loss of my son was to become a TAPS Peer Mentor. After experiencing the warmth and care of TAPS, I wanted to give something to other survivors and this was the way that was best for me. This picture shows a recent group of mentors. You can see the smiles on their faces. That is how I felt when I
Active Remembering Active Remembering Active Remembering \| TAPS Allison Gilbert If you’re fortunate, like me, soon after your loved one dies, a swarm of friends will embrace you in all sorts of meaningful ways. They’ll pack the funeral home, attend the wake or shiva, and a few may even leave homemade meals wrapped in tin foil by your front door so you won’t have to cook for a while. Rituals surrounding loss tend to kick into gear automatically, and I benefitted from being the passive recipient of support when e
Saturday Morning Message: Our Change of Thoughts on Mortality Saturday Morning Message: Our Change of Thoughts on Mortality Saturday Morning Message: Our Change of Thoughts on Mortality Carol Lane Good Morning, The picture this week shows the sunset over the water. Although I don't live near a lake or the ocean, I do live by a relatively large river. It's one place I like to go to think about questions like the one from this week's Saturday Morning Message about the change of ideas after the death of a loved one. In an article from the TAPS Magazine
Will Trauma Grief Counseling Help? Will Trauma Grief Counseling Help? Will Trauma Grief Counseling Help? Janice Harris Lord Sudden death in the military isn’t the same as an anticipated death. That’s why “stages of grief” and books about grief following illnesses or advanced age seldom make sense after a traumatic death. Those who don’t know better may tell you, “Well, when he signed up for the military, everyone knew that this could happen.” Yes, most families consider the risk, and at the same time pray and expect that their
Exercise can Help your Grieving Heart Exercise can Help your Grieving Heart Exercise can Help your Grieving Heart Jackie Syverson Have you ever heard of the “runner’s high”? Ever wonder why people who exercise regularly seem to be in a good mood and have an extra bounce in their step? That they never seem to get sick? Is it just that these people have such amazing lives that they feel motivated to exercise and keep in shape? How can we possibly ever hope to achieve that status when we have suffered such an incredible loss?
Saturday Morning Message: How do you share or show your grief in public? Saturday Morning Message: How do you share or show your grief in public? Saturday Morning Message: How do you share or show your grief in public? \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, Grief is different for everyone. In the many events that happen after a loved one passes, others may expect you to act a certain way and that can make for personal difficulty in an already stressful time. The opening picture shows two surviving parents, Suzanne and Ed Kristensen being interviewed by a CBS reporter at
Saturday Morning Message: Changing Anger to Pride Saturday Morning Message: Changing Anger to Pride Saturday Morning Message: Changing Anger to Pride Carol Lane Good Morning, Last week's question asked how to turn the anger that comes with grief into more of a focus on the pride for our loved one's service. This is a tricky question as it asks us to focus on ourselves, and that is something many of us are not taught to do. First, we must find strategies to help reduce the anger. This is where looking in the TAPS Magazine archives can be hel
Saturday Morning Message: Advice for Another Survivor Saturday Morning Message: Advice for Another Survivor Saturday Morning Message: Advice for Another Survivor Carol Lane Good Morning, This week the survivors who wrote answered the question, “Knowing what you know now, what would you offer to another person who has lost a loved one?” There were many ideas to contemplate and Karl sent a poem that came from the Internet which I think you will find meaningful. I couldn’t find an author, but I think it says a lot about how a grieving person feels
Understanding the Guilt of Grief Understanding the Guilt of Grief Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. * TAPS Advisory Board “Guilt is perhaps the most painful companion of death.” — Coco Chanel If you’re feeling guilty, ashamed, or regretful in the aftermath of the death of someone loved, the first thing I want to do is assure you that all your emotions are normal. While these feelings are painful, they are common and natural. There is nothing wrong with you. These guilty feelings can mean that you have a developed sense of right and wr
TAPS Survivor Newsletter July 2021 TAPS Survivor Newsletter July 2021 TAPS Survivor Newsletter July 2021 TAPS Media military survivor news, July newsletter TAPS Survivor Newsletter July 2021 This 4th of July holiday, we remember the statement located on the wall at the Korean War Memorial in Washington, D.C. "Freedom is Not Free."
Good Grief Camp Corner Good Grief Camp Corner Good Grief Camp Corner Jonathan Kirkendall It was May 2006. I was a civilian, a mental health professional, and I was standing in the lobby of the Doubletree Hotel in Arlington, Va., feeling lost. A few weeks before, I heard a radio interview with Bonnie Carroll talking about a program called TAPS. With a brother and a nephew serving in Iraq, I was intrigued. I was struggling to find a concrete way to support the troops - especially since the troops were my family. A
Promises Promises Promises Linda Ambard Sometimes I feel like a poser playing a part upon the stage. This isn't supposed to be my life. At times, times like now, I can barely recognize the girl I have become. The person I have become was so far from my realm of possibility that it literally brings me to my knees at times. How could a quiet homebody become the girl with a voice? How is it that I am considered to be a subject matter expert in military loss and resiliency when my life before was bei
Team TAPS Runners Participate in the TCS New York City Marathon Team TAPS Runners Participate in the TCS New York City Marathon eam TAPS Runners Participate in the TCS New York City Marathon TAPS Kelly McHugh Stewart is running the TCS New York City Marathon this weekend to honor the life and legacy of her father, LTC John McHugh. He was a marathoner, but never had the opportunity to run the New York City race. Kelly has been training for months to run with Team TAPS and is near her fundraising goal of $3,000 to help raise awareness and money for famili
The Companioning Philosophy of Grief Care: Being Present to Pain The Companioning Philosophy of Grief Care: Being Present to Pain The Companioning Philosophy of Grief Care: Being Present to Pain Alan Wolfelt While I was trained in the classical medical model of bereavement care, I have come to advocate for, instead, a caregiving model I call “companioning.” I’ve always found it intriguing that the word “treat” comes from the Latin root word “tractare,” which means “to drag.” If we combine that with “patient,” we can really get in trouble. “Patient” means “
Embracing Your Vulnerability During the Holidays Embracing Your Vulnerability During the Holidays Embracing Your Vulnerability During the Holidays \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt Grief, the holidays, and vulnerability naturally go together because when someone in our lives dies, the holidays — and all the nostalgia they bring — can heighten our feelings of vulnerability. Being vulnerable is the opposite of protecting ourselves because when we protect ourselves, we create barriers and shields that safeguard us from harm. Common emotional shields
Helping a Grandparent Who Is Grieving Helping a Grandparent Who Is Grieving Helping a Grandparent Who Is Grieving Alan Wolfelt "When a grandchild dies, grandparents grieve twice. They mourn the loss of the child and they feel the pain of their own child's suffering. Sometimes we forget about the grandparents when a child dies. You can help by not forgetting, by offering the grandparents your love, support and presence in the weeks and months to come." ~ From Healing a Grandparent's Grieving Heart by Alan Wolfelt A child or
7 Random Acts of Kindness to Celebrate a Life Well Lived 7 Random Acts of Kindness to Celebrate a Life Well Lived 7 Random Acts of Kindness to Celebrate a Life Well Lived P. Ann Brothers We perform random acts of kindness on a regular basis without giving it much thought. This week, my son Army Maj. Steven Brothers would have celebrated his 41st birthday. In his honor, our family wanted to have at least 41 random acts of kindness completed to celebrate a life well lived. Here are some that touched the hearts of many. I hope they will inspire you
Glasgow Gathering 2013 Glasgow Gathering 2013 Glasgow Gathering 2013 Kellie Hazlett Making Memories Across the Ocean “Remember the Love, Share the Heartache, Honour the Fallen However They Fell” ~ Bereaved Families Support Group Joining hands and hearts across the globe to honor and remember the fallen was the essence of the first ever TAPS/BFSG gathering. The Bereaved Families Support Group (BFSG) is a program of Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen and Families’ Association (SSAFA), a United Kingdom nonprofit organizati
Selecting a Grief Counselor Selecting a Grief Counselor Selecting a Grief Counselor \| TAPS Stephanie Frogge Finding a good mental health professional in the midst of a trauma is somewhat akin to trying to find a good plumber in the middle of the night when water is pouring out of a hole in your wall. Your intentions may be clear but summoning the necessary energy, focus, and discernment to be a wise consumer of mental health services may be just too much—especially when you’ve got your finger in the dike and know it won
Run and Remember: Running the MCM for TAPS Run and Remember: Running the MCM for TAPS Run and Remember: Running the MCM for TAPS David Easley In 2010, Telos Corporation had been a financial sponsor of TAPS for several years, but wanted to step up its involvement with this great organization. The company decided to do this by accepting the Corporate Challenge with TAPS Run and Remember Team. Telos employees would train for and run the Marine Corps Marathon (MCM) in memory of a fallen service member and each Telos runner would be connec
Photos: teams4taps USMNT teams4taps and the United States Men's National Soccer Team teams4taps and the United States Men's National Soccer Team Photos \| TAPS TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (28 photos) //
Photos: teams4taps Nets teams4taps and Brooklyn Nets Professional Basketball Team teams4taps with Brooklyn Nets Professional Basketball Team Photos \| TAPS TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (35 photos) //
The Metaphors of Grief The Metaphors of Grief The Metaphors of Grief Emily Munoz Traveling the country to host Regional Seminars, the TAPS team hears about the sense of freedom that comes from connecting with other people who understand. At TAPS events, you can be yourself – the armor can come off; the mask can fall away. As this happens, our bonds as a TAPS family strengthen and grow. And then, Sunday rolls around, and with it comes the real world – and some of us need that armor back. We don’t want to send you ho
Growing Up TAPS: Understanding How Our Children Grieve Growing Up TAPS: Understanding How Our Children Grieve Growing Up TAPS: Understanding How Our Children Grieve Andy McNiel There is a personal nature to how each of us grieves, and that individuality extends to our children and teenagers. They uniquely grieve the death of their person based on (but not limited to) their personality type, individual preferences, how they most feel comfortable being in the world, the nature of the relationship they shared with their person before they died, and
Finding Meaning After Loss Finding Meaning After Loss Finding Meaning After Loss \| TAPS Michelle Collins On the one-year anniversary of my husband Glen’s death by suicide, I spread his ashes off a distinctive rocky outcropping into a small cove in south Maui. I gazed at the water, remembering our time together in this exact spot. Even after 22 years in service, most of which was spent in the SEAL teams, he referred to that little rocky cove as the place he performed “the most heroic act” of his life. He loved
Saturday Morning Message: Making a Difference With TAPS Events Saturday Morning Message: Making a Difference With TAPS Events Saturday Morning Message: Making a Difference With TAPS Events \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, Since our question this week is about TAPS events, and those who responded covered many of them, I thought showing a picture of American TAPS survivors meeting in 2016 in the United Kingdom might be helpful to show that TAPS also travels to other countries. If you want to attend an event from your own living room, I suggest the chats
Saturday Morning Message: Introductions Saturday Morning Message: Introductions Saturday Morning Message: Introductions \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, Since this week the Saturday Morning Message topic is about introductions, I thought I would open with a picture of my son, Bryon, doing what he loved to do. He was a crew chief on USMC helicopters. You can see by the smile on his face that he loved it. I am going to keep my comments short this week, because there were so many wonderful memories that were shared. Please enjoy this
Saturday Morning Message: The Warmth of Friendship Saturday Morning Message: The Warmth of Friendship Saturday Morning Message: The Warmth of Friendship Carol Lane Good morning, On this week’s TAPS Facebook page, it was suggested reading the article, “It Takes a Tribe” by Shauna Springer. The article fits today’s topic perfectly. She shares the ways a professional can give help and how we can support each other through friendship when disaster strikes. The article lists three ways that I want to explore: “Deploy the power of touch Speak
Healing Your Grieving Heart Healing Your Grieving Heart Healing Your Grieving Heart Bonnie Carroll Alan Wolfelt “Believe in the wonderment of life, the magic of love, and the reality of death.” – Carroll Bryant You may have heard of the "stages" of grief, popularized in 1969 by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross's landmark text, On Death and Dying. In this book she lists the five stages of grief that she saw terminally ill patients experience in the face of their own impending deaths: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and accep
Proactive Grieving Proactive Grieving Proactive Grieving Mitch Carmody And how we climb the S.T.A.I.R.S to get there When my father died in 1969, I was only 15 years old. My mom told me that I was the man of the family now and that I needed to take care of the farm and my sisters. I did just that. I did not grieve, I did not cry, I did not publicly mourn. I hid my sorrow as if it were some awful secret I was ashamed of. I moved on. When my brother died five years later, nothing much had changed. My brother
Saturday Morning Message: The Power of Dreams Saturday Morning Message: The Power of Dreams Saturday Morning Message: The Power of Dreams Carol Lane Good Morning, This week several survivors wrote to tell about the dreams that they have had. They are so beautifully written that I am going to keep my comments short, so you can enjoy reading them. Over the Memorial Day weekend, TAPS will host the National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp. There may be some who are reading this message who have registered for the first ti
What NOT to Say to a Military Widow What NOT to Say to a Military Widow What Not to Say to a Military Widow - TAPS News Jenna Grassbaugh "Death leaves a heartache no one can heal; love leaves a memory no one can steal." ~Author Unknown When I first lost Jon, I didn't know how to let anyone help me. I retreated behind an emotional wall and kept almost everyone in my life at arm's length. The only person I wanted to talk with about how I was feeling was the one person I couldn't talk to ever again. I didn't have the energy to
A Breath of Summertime—Anytime A Breath of Summertime—Anytime A Breath of Summertime—Anytime Darcie Sims It’s summer and the air is warm upon my face. The sunlight dances across the grass, casting tiny shadows of the dandelions that wave in the afternoon breeze. It’s nice here, sitting on the step, letting my mind wander, not really thinking of anything much. It’s been a long time since I was able to just sit and enjoy the gentle rhythms of a summer’s day. Do you remember summer? Summer, that wonderful reprieve from w
Grief Grappling - Fighting for a New Normal Grief Grappling - Fighting for a New Normal Grief Grappling - Fighting for a New Normal \| TAPS Sandra Egts There is tremendous shock, confusion, and even denial that accompanies sudden death. It is equally traumatic to watch the prolonged suffering of those you love. Regardless of how grief comes for you, it will come– it is the great, dark hunter. You can’t ignore grief. It tracks you down and demands its rightful share of your life, no matter what the circumstance. Back in my early grief
Grief Grappling: Fighting for a New Normal Grief Grappling: Fighting for a New Normal Grief Grappling: Fighting for a New Normal Sandra Egts Grief Demands Attention There is tremendous shock, confusion and even denial that accompanies sudden death. It is equally traumatic to watch the prolonged suffering of those you love. Regardless of how grief comes for you, it will. It is the great, dark hunter. You can't ignore grief. It tracks you down and demands its rightful share of your life, no matter what the circumstance. Back in the ea
You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part Four You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part Four You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part Four \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt Editor's Note This is part four of a six-part series adapted from Dr. Alan Wolfelt's book, You're Not Crazy — You're Grieving. Parts one through three were published in the summer 2023, fall 2023, and spring 2024 issues of TAPS Magazine. Telling Your Stories Helps You Survive Telling your stories of love and loss helps you survive. The more you allow you
Saturday Morning Message: Coping with the Holidays Saturday Morning Message: Coping with the Holidays Saturday Morning Message: Coping with the Holidays \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, This week, survivors share what has worked to help them cope as the December holiday season approaches. As you will see, each person’s experience is different and therefore the strategies they use are unique to them. I thank all of the responders this week along with those who read the Saturday Morning Message. Know that if things get too overwhelming, the TAP
Saturday Morning Message: Reasons for Joining the Military Saturday Morning Message: Reasons for Joining the Military Saturday Morning Message: Reasons for Joining the Military \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, The picture this week is the front of one of the hotels that housed the TAPS 24th National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp this year. I thought this picture would capture the theme of this week’s message about why our loved ones joined the military. There were so many wonderful responses to this week’s question that I am going to
Supporting Your Children During Uncertain Times Supporting Your Children During Uncertain Times Supporting Your Children During Uncertain Times \| TAPS Sara Firestone Note: This article is republished with permission from the author. It originally appeared on PsychAlive.com. With more schools and offices closing each day due to the COVID-19 pandemic, most parents are finding themselves at home with their kids around the clock. And while it is necessary for our physical health to practice social distancing or sheltering in place during th
TAPS Friendsgiving TAPS Friendsgiving TAPS Friendsgiving TAPS As we move further into Fall, we begin ushering in the holiday season and are reminded of the importance of family and community. This Fall, we are creating local, one day events across the country where survivors can connect and acknowledge the bittersweet nature of the holidays and the range of emotions that can come along with them. We call this TAPS Friendsgiving. Together, we will tell the stories of those who left empty seats at the table, and
Building Your Resilience: Caring For Your Mind, Body, And Soul Building Your Resilience: Caring For Your Mind, Body, And Soul Building Your Resilience: Caring For Your Mind, Body, And Soul \| TAPS TAPS The last couple of years have brought many new challenges: working and learning from home, isolation from loved ones, canceled activities, mask mandates, and for many, sudden illness and loss. While the pandemic may not be completely over, we may finally be seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Each of our stories is different, but we all have someth
A Mother Finds Healing at Empowerment Retreat A Mother Finds Healing at Empowerment Retreat A Mother Finds Healing at Empowerment Retreat \| TAPS Belinda Barron The setting in Sedona was spectacular — it felt like heaven met earth. I stood in awe in of the surroundings, which helped me feel alive, grateful and blessed. The landscape changed moment to moment according to your perspective. As our perspective went to a more gracious and giving place, our soul’s happiness grew and our ability to trust and love grew accordingly. The beauty wa
Books to Get You Moving in 2019 Books to Get You Moving in 2019 Books to Get You Moving in 2019 \| TAPS Emily Munoz The Health and Wellness team has some book recommendations for you—four of the best books we know that can help you make better choices for your health and wellness journey this new year. The best part is that each of them is a pretty easy read, or you can also listen to them as audio books. Pick up these books and lay the foundation for some positive perspective as we settle into 2019. The RBG Workout:
TAPS Care Groups: Finding Comfort Together TAPS Care Groups: Finding Comfort Together TAPS Care Groups: Finding Comfort Together Lalaine Estella The need to be understood and connect with others is key to finding hope and healing. Every month, hundreds of our TAPS family members are embraced in Care Groups to have honest discussions about grief and loss in a safe space. Although these gatherings are not therapy, they are therapeutic and allow us to explore the emotions we encounter on our grief journey. We find comfort in the supporti
TAPS Professionals Help Survivors In Darkest Moments TAPS Professionals Help Survivors In Darkest Moments TAPS Professionals Help Survivors In Darkest Moments TAPS TAPS has been the front-line resource for families of America's Fallen Heroes for over 22 years. We continue to meet that high standard because we bring together professional staff and grief experts who understand the complex grief our families face. Providing hope and healing to our families is a great honor. Whether our staff and professional partners are assigned that duty, chos
From Tragedy to Helping Others: Military Widow Gives Back From Tragedy to Helping Others: Military Widow Gives Back From Tragedy to Helping Others: Military Widow Gives Back TAPS Picking up the pieces after suffering a tragic loss is never easy. Thankfully, our military families don't have to walk through grief alone. The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) walks beside them. As it does each year, TAPS honored one survivor of a fallen service member with the Senator Ted Stevens Leadership Award at the TAPS Honor Guard Gala. This year's
The Hawk The Hawk The Hawk Bob Bagosy Someone once asked where my notes were before I spoke about my son Tommy, I said all my notes are in my heart. On this past Father’s Day, Katie, Tommy’s widow who had recently moved to Georgia, brought the grandkids over to help make all our Father’s Day a little bit brighter. After all, it’s a day to celebrate Fathers. Tommy’s kids are great! His son Nathan and his daughter Avery light up my life! They give me a reason to go on. They are too young in some ways
Breaking the Silence as a Survivor of Murder-Suicide Loss Breaking the Silence as a Survivor of Murder-Suicide Loss Breaking the Silence as a Survivor of Murder-Suicide Loss \| TAPS Brittany Noble McCarthy “Couple Dead in Murder-Suicide,” read one headline following the deaths of my dad and stepmother in January 2018. Rooted in his determination to take his own life, Dad’s final act precluded him from a burial with military honors after serving the country for 20 years as an enlisted Army sergeant with multiple combat tours. The headlines precluded
Saturday Morning Message: How we spend our time at home Saturday Morning Message: How we spend our time at home How we spend our time at home \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good morning, The opening picture is a rose in my garden. I have been getting the gardens around my house ready, so I may enjoy the flowers this year. Survivors share what they are doing now that they have to spend time at home. Each response is a bit different and unique. Sometimes we find hidden talents or take the ones we have and give them a new twist. Other ti
Hope in the Heavens Hope in the Heavens Hope in the Heavens Doug Windley It has been said that people are equals at birth and death. Birth is typically celebrated as a joyous occasion, while death is a topic some cultures avoid due to the reality of its accompanying grief. Social convention and our own sense of duty can draw our focus toward tending to the deceased, and away from giving attention our own grief and healing. Death, like birth, is completely out of our control, and yet we wish we could script our
What Cody Taught Me What Cody Taught Me What Cody Taught Me Michael Lewis "To live in the hearts of those you leave behind is never to die." ~ Robert Orr Every day, when I get to work and flip the switch on my computer, I come face to face with the image of Private First Class Cody Grater, posing under the famous Hands of Victory crossed swords monument in Baghdad. He’s replete in full army gear, holding his rifle, finger poised on the trigger. Cody died on July 29, 2007 when his guard position was struck by a
Saturday Morning Message: What has someone done for you to ease your grief that you'll never forget? Saturday Morning Message: What has someone done for you to ease your grief that you'll never forget? Saturday Morning Message: What has someone done for you to ease your grief that you'll never forget? \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, Supporting families who have experienced the loss of a loved one can be very important as we all know. This week survivors have written about the meaningful gifts others gave them in their grief. TAPS gives survivors many gifts, and this week the Saturday Morn
Setting Boundaries While Grieving Setting Boundaries While Grieving Setting Boundaries While Grieving \| TAPS Audri Beugelsdijk Setting boundaries is hard. When it’s our job to take care of others or attend to business, we place a lot of pressure on ourselves to get it right, to not drop balls. After all, we take our responsibilities seriously and don’t want to let anyone down. Even on our best days when we are not grieving, this set of expectations can be incredibly difficult to live up to, if not downright impossible. Our li
Transitions: Embracing the Potential Transitions: Embracing the Potential Transitions: Embracing the Potential Connor McCracken The landscapers came to my home yesterday. They came in like an unexpected storm - a whirlwind of activity trying to put some level of organization to all the yard's chaos. They have these loud machines that force a blast of air onto an object and catapult it into the air with the goal of moving that item of disorganization into a new, desired location. Five years ago, life was neat. It was organize
Video: TAPS Military Mentor of the Year Award Video: TAPS Military Mentor of the Year Award TAPS Military Mentor of the Year Award \| TAPS News TAPS Media This year's award was presented at the TAPS Honor Guard Gala in Washington D.C. on April 27, 2022 to Technical Sergeant Clynton Trewyn, United States Air Force. Listen to his acceptance speech. Visit TAPS Military Mentor of the Year page to learn more about this award. Visit Volunteer as a Legacy or Military Mentor page for more information on mentoring surviving children with TAPS. S
Video: TAPS Senator Ted Stevens Leadership Award Video: TAPS Senator Ted Stevens Leadership Award TAPS Senator Ted Stevens Leadership Award \| TAPS News TAPS Media This year's award was presented at the TAPS Honor Guard Gala in Washington D.C. on April 27, 2022 to Matt Daud, Surviving father of Corporal Christopher Daud, United States Marine Corps. Listen to his acceptance speech. Visit TAPS Senator Ted Stevens Leadership Award to learn more about this award. Visit Volunteer with TAPS page for more information on getting involved with TAPS.
TAPS Care Groups: A Source of Connection, Hope and Healing In Your Local Community TAPS Care Groups: A Source of Connection, Hope and Healing In Your Local Community TAPS Care Groups: A Source of Connection, Hope and Healing In Your Local Community TAPS TAPS Care Groups are safe, welcoming spaces in your local area — a community of peers within your community, those who understand grief because they’re experiencing it too. And, like you, they are seeking connection, hope, and healing. For Annette Montante, the surviving aunt of U.S. Marine Corps Sgt Tristan Charles Bet
A Gathering of Men A Gathering of Men A Gathering of Men \| TAPS Gabriel Rao Calmness, Camaraderie, and Clarity in Yosemite Sitting near a rolling stream surrounded by the breathtaking wonders of nature, I witness the power of water against rock — moving, reshaping. What a blessing to have this time to become fully aware of my surroundings and myself. Just like a current reshapes stone, the power of a man sharing openly and honestly has the power to change the world around him. There is a beauty that takes sha
The Seesaw of Resilience and Vulnerability The Seesaw of Resilience and Vulnerability The Seesaw of Resilience and Vulnerability \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt “To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength.” — Criss Jami As you journey through your naturally complicated and painful grief, you are probably being buoyed by—and perhaps also dismayed by—your resilience. After all, here you are. You may not have thought it possible at first, but you have indeed survived. Military fami
In My Dreams In My Dreams In My Dreams Linda Ambard I am nearing the three year marker of my journey without Phil. I never thought I could make it through a day without knowing he was in my life, but I am finding my footing and making my way. While I have grown increasingly confident in my footing and in my purpose for my future, I still yearn for the man who chose me even when it cost him so much. There has never been a day that I haven’t wanted to share something with him or that I hadn’t had a quiet
Coming Home Coming Home Coming Home Michele Hiester Marcum Somebody somewhere once said, “Home is where the heart is,” and if I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard that quote over the years, I could probably take a vacation - away from home. I’m not a world-class traveler who circles the globe on a regular basis, but we do indulge in periodic family getaways. We love to visit places we’ve never been, and we enjoy planning all the details of each trip: where we eat, where we sleep, and what we see a
The Importance of Hope The Importance of Hope The Importance of Hope Alan Wolfelt Excerpted from The Mourner’s Book of Hope: 30 Days of Inspiration “Today… I open my heart’s hand to allow the touch of hope.” ~ Julia Cameron Someone you love has died. In your heart you have come to know your deepest pain. Your grief has brought challenges that seem beyond your own capacity to survive. Grief creates chaos, and your soul cries out. You naturally experience a sense of helplessness and, at times, you feel the d
Photos: Disney Marathon Events Disney Princess and Disneyland Marathon Events Disney Princess and Disneyland Marathon Events \| Team TAPS TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (173 photos) Team Taps, Disney, Marathon, Photos Disney Princess Half Marathon Weekend Presented by Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals Flickr Album Event Photos, February 18 - 21, 2016 and September 1 - 4, 2016
My Unexpected Journey into the Healing Arms of TAPS My Unexpected Journey into the Healing Arms of TAPS My Unexpected Journey into the Healing Arms of TAPS Bridget Singletary-Goodwin TAPS is a community of survivors. Some of us have lost loved ones on the battlefield, others to long-term illness. Some TAPS survivors, like me, have lost someone they loved in tragic accidents. My children and I are somewhat unusual as TAPS survivors, for not only have we suffered through the sudden and untimely death of my husband, we also survived the same c
Photos: TAPS Togethers Mammoth Cave TAPS Togethers: Mammoth Cave National Park Day TAPS Togethers: Mammoth Cave National Park Day Photos \| TAPS TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (27 photos) photos, military survivor, hiking, cave tour Flickr Album Event Photos: Survivors visit Mammoth Cave with the National Park Trust and TAPS Togethers on November 2, 2024.
Saturday Morning Message: Honoring Our Loved Ones Saturday Morning Message: Honoring Our Loved Ones Saturday Morning Message: Honoring Our Loved Ones \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, This week there were many unique responses to the question about how we honor our loved ones. If you are interested in recognizing your loved one by working with TAPS on a project, look at the TAPS Volunteer Central page or TAPS Peer Mentors page. The lead photo this week shows volunteers getting TAPS information ready to be sent out. After my initial grief, I s
Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Fond Sports Memories Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Fond Sports Memories Sharing Fond Sports Memories \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, Watching sporting events is something that many families like to do together. For football fans, this is an especially big weekend because of the Super Bowl. Barbara, mother of Brian sent the opening photo showing their family when they went to a football game featuring their favorite NFL team. You will read more about this special memory in the respons
Saturday Morning Message: Resolutions for the New Year Saturday Morning Message: Resolutions for the New Year Saturday Morning Message: Resolutions for the New Year \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, My resolution comes from the many years I have been connected with TAPS. I look forward to working with all of you and welcome you to the new year of Saturday Morning Messages. My resolution this year is to attend more TAPS events, so I can get to know some of you in person. I know you will enjoy reading survivors’ resolutions in this week’s edition.
Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Favorite Meals Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Favorite Meals Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Favorite Meals Carol Lane Good morning, Last week’s question came from an idea that Bonnie Jo, mother of Andrew, sent along with an article in the Spring 2017 TAPS Magazine, titled, “Making Memories at Mealtimes.” Since the Fourth of July will be celebrated on Tuesday, many of us will share a meal with family and friends. This is one place where memories are made. A week ago, I spent some time with my family w
Running for Dad on Father's Day Running for Dad on Father's Day Running for Dad on Father's Day Allicia Johnson When I first started writing for TAPS it was just kind of a given I would be submitting a Father’s Day post. I thought this would be one of my easiest submissions—until I attended the TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar last month. I went with the intention of being a shoulder to cry on and support to strangers who were young in their grief, only to end up with tear stains on my own cheeks more often than I
Beyond My Fears Beyond My Fears Beyond My Fears Linda Ambard A borrowed line from a song sums it up well. "People say that I'm amazing, strong beyond my years, but they don't see inside of me. I'm hiding all my fears." I've been afraid of my very first memories - afraid of fire, darkness, getting lost, fitting in, trying new things, you name it. I quake and feel slightly nauseated when I am confronted with new situations, decisions, predicaments and even surprises. I learned long ago, though, that waiting on
Today Is My Day Today Is My Day Today Is My Day Linda Ambard So many people spend their lives in quiet desperation thinking of one day - someday. I was no different and, at times, I am still stuck in the rut of day-to-day responsibilities and routines. Mired in the frenetic pace and wanting more, never quite reaching that elusive someday, is exactly where I was when Phil was killed. I was happy sitting on the sidelines waiting, but I knew something was missing for me and for my life. When Phil married me,
Spotlight on Service: Barb Christie Spotlight on Service: Barb Christie Spotlight on Service: Barb Christie TAPS Barb Christie knows the military. She began her 20 year career in the Air Force as an air traffic control officer. And while she spent the last four years of her career doing program and budget planning at the Pentagon, along the way she served as Executive Officer to a number of general officers, held the post of squadron section commander and filled the role of Base Director of Administration. Barb retire
It Was Time It Was Time Tai Prohaska, Surviving Mother of Navy HM3 Nikolas Pono Kaniela Venuti Five years? Five weeks? Five decades? Grief warped my sense of time. My son, HM3 Nikolas Pono Kaniela Venuti, died Oct. 17, 2020. He was 26. Nothing, not even time, was the same anymore. Time was irrelevant, but dates packed their punches — his birthday, his first wedding anniversary, which he didn’t live to celebrate, and the day he died…the day he died. I felt like I was living on the Twilight Zone set.
You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part Three You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part Three You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part Three \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt Editor's Note This is part three of a six-part series adapted from Dr. Alan Wolfelt's book, You're Not Crazy — You're Grieving. Part one and part two appeared in the summer and fall issues of TAPS Magazine. Acknowledging the Illusion of Control Death naturally throws thoughts, feelings, and behaviors into disarray. Nothing may feel “normal” right now.
From Uncertainty to Excitement at the TAPS College Experience From Uncertainty to Excitement at the TAPS College Experience From Uncertainty to Excitement at the TAPS College Experience \| TAPS Maxx Ray The importance of education has always been instilled in my personal beliefs. Though, post-secondary school always gave me doubts — What if I’m not smart enough? What if I haven’t done enough? There were so many uncertainties that floated around my mind, causing me to get way too worked up at the thought of college. I began to over-stress about college, w
Saturday Morning Message: Ornaments for our Loved Ones Saturday Morning Message: Ornaments for our Loved Ones Saturday Morning Message: Ornaments for our Loved Ones \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, Ornaments are special. Some of them are from places we have visited, come from special friends or family, or they can be just something we bought because it touched our hearts. TAPS has touched many hearts, so the opening picture is an ornament you can buy at the TAPS store. This week survivors wrote about creating an ornament that introduces their lo
Saturday Morning Message: Special Places Saturday Morning Message: Special Places Saturday Morning Message: Special Places \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, This week’s message talks about a special place. Each summer our family went to the coast of Maine, which is shown in the opening picture today. We would go there in late August, just before school started, to catch the last of the warm weather, swim in the ocean and eat lobster. It was a fun time and I remember it fondly. Below, other survivors share memories of their special pl
Saturday Morning Message: Peer Mentor Reflections Saturday Morning Message: Peer Mentor Reflections Saturday Morning Message: Peer Mentor Reflections Carol Lane Good Morning, The TAPS Peer Mentor program is a gift for both the mentors and the survivors who become connected. At the beginning of my grief journey, TAPS was smaller and there were many who reached out to act as mentors when I called. The picture today is of my good friend, Darcie D. Sims, Ph.D., CHT, CT, GMS, and me at a TAPS National Seminar, where she spoke to everyone who was
Is Suicide a Choice? Is Suicide a Choice? Military Widow Kim Ruocco on Spousal Suicide - TAPS News Kim Ruocco The National Veterans Crisis Line (800-273-8255) is available 24/7 to TAPS survivors. It is confidential and can connect you with local resources. The TAPS helpline (800-959-8277) is available for peer-based grief support. There are so many questions following a death by suicide. How could this happen? Why did this happen? Why didn’t I see it? Why didn’t I do something? Why didn’t the military do more?
Remembering J.R. Davis Remembering J.R. Davis Remembering J.R. Davis \| TAPS Theresa Davis Barry Lee Davis, Jr., or J.R. as he was affectionately known to his family and friends, was just 18 years old when he chose to join the Army and serve his country. His service took him to far-off places, like the Persian Gulf and Karlsruhe, Germany, before eventually settling near Fort Stewart, Georgia. J.R. was a hardworking, dedicated, and kind man — traits that earned him Bronze Stars, medals of achiev
TAPS suicide prevention and postvention: Decreasing risk and Increasing Hope TAPS suicide prevention and postvention: Decreasing risk and Increasing Hope TAPS suicide prevention and postvention: Decreasing risk and Increasing Hope \| TAPS TAPS Recent headlines have drawn attention to the increasing rate of suicide among military members. At TAPS we know that a death by suicide leaves survivors in a wake of emotions and challenges that complicate an already painful grieving process. For more than 10 years, TAPS has been caring for and supporting suicide loss survivor
Friends of TAPS - New York Life Foundation Friends of TAPS - New York Life Foundation Friends of TAPS - New York Life Foundation TAPS It was a typical workday for Marine Michael Walton, the Marine Corps Air Station Miramar command sergeant major, until he received an email forwarded to him by Bonnie Carroll. He was intrigued by the call for mentors and especially by the TAPS mission. In his position, he was unsure if he could personally support the Southern California Good Grief Campout, but he called TAPS to see how he could suppo
Solitude and Knowing When to Reach Out Solitude and Knowing When to Reach Out Solitude and Knowing When to Reach Out Audri Beugelsdijk Coping with grief and loss is one of life’s greatest challenges. Sometimes the task is so monumental that it feels impossible, and yet here we are doing the impossible, surviving the loss of someone who is inextricably a part of our heart, existence and routine. During the holidays, the loss is illuminated as we witness people making plans with their families, buying gifts, or engaging in long-st
Ways to Help Grieving Children During the Holidays Ways to Help Grieving Children During the Holidays Ways to Help Grieving Children During the Holidays \| TAPS TAPS Andy McNiel As the holiday season unfolds, it brings a unique mix of emotions for children grappling with the loss of a loved one. Amidst the festive decorations and cheerful gatherings, these young hearts might find themselves in a whirlwind of sadness and joy, often struggling to make sense of these conflicting feelings. But we're here to help. Here are some comforting tips and i
Continuing the Legacy of Love Continuing the Legacy of Love Continuing the Legacy of Love \| TAPS Audri Beugelsdijk You may have heard it said that to love someone means to forever have a piece of your heart existing outside of your body. When that person dies, it can naturally leave us feeling a lack of wholeness. That hole in our hearts calls out to us and can only be occupied by the person who created it because it is shaped just like him or her. Honoring the love and life that created this space in your heart doesn't m
Saturday Morning Message: Honoring Our Loved Ones On Memorial Day Saturday Morning Message: Honoring Our Loved Ones On Memorial Day Honoring Our Loved Ones On Memorial Day \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message TAPS Good Morning, TAPS families from across the country will gather both in person and virtually for our 27th Annual National Military Seminar and Good Grief Camp over Memorial Day Weekend. This is always a weekend full of love and connection among survivors supporting survivors. As we come together to honor our nation's fallen heroes, our lov
3 C’s for Holiday Grief 3 C’s for Holiday Grief 3 C’s for Holiday Grief \| TAPS Kenneth Doka For those who are grieving, the holidays can be unfamiliar terrain. Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah or Kwanzaa, this time is filled with fond remembrances of loved ones who are on your mind yet absent from your traditions and rituals. Acknowledging the difficulties of holidays after loss does not make a potentially difficult time any easier, but preparing for the holidays by tapping into helpful coping strategies ma
Staying in Touch - Real Touch Staying in Touch - Real Touch Staying in Touch - Real Touch \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt The COVID-19 pandemic has millions of people the world over realizing they are touch deprived. Even people who haven’t considered themselves huggy, touchy people in the past are now expressing awareness that they need the physical proximity and touch of other human beings to feel well, especially during times of uncertainty and anxiety. As someone grieving the death of a loved one, you may have found yourself pa
Peer Mentors Bring TAPS Care Groups to More Local Communities Peer Mentors Bring TAPS Care Groups to More Local Communities Peer Mentors Bring TAPS Care Groups to More Local Communities \| TAPS TAPS Volunteer Peer Mentors and mental health professionals facilitated over 560 TAPS Care Groups in 2019, up from 280 groups the previous year. The dedication of these volunteers made it possible for survivors in more than 50 communities in 26 states to have the compassionate support of others who have lived through similar losses. TAPS Peer Mentors gave their t
What Kids Want Their Adults to Know about Grief What Kids Want Their Adults to Know about Grief What Kids Want Their Adults to Know about Grief \| TAPS Karissa Kelley Editor’s note: November is National Children’s Grief Awareness Month. Throughout the month, we will feature stories from surviving children, grief professionals and TAPS staff to draw attention to the needs of grieving children, and how best to support them. At the end of a TAPS Good Grief Camp or Family Camp, Youth Programs staff asks each child to complete a brief s
3 Ceremonies to Heal Your Grieving Heart 3 Ceremonies to Heal Your Grieving Heart 3 Ceremonies to Heal Your Grieving Heart \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt When a death is sudden and unexpected, as is typically the case with a military death, it's that much more difficult. Immediately after the death, those affected by traumatic loss typically exhibit psychic numbing. They're present physically, but not necessarily mentally or emotionally. In other words, they're in shock. This protective mechanism is nature's way of protecting them from experi
Navigating Memorial Day: How a Rookie Volunteer Made a Lasting Impact Navigating Memorial Day: How a Rookie Volunteer Made a Lasting Impact Navigating Memorial Day: How a Rookie Volunteer Made a Lasting Impact Paige Williams Spotlight on Service: Brandi Burke To a newer TAPS staff member, the National Military Survivor Seminar can be intimidating. It’s a complex, fast-paced, weeklong family reunion, and I just joined the family. Beholding this mammoth of an undertaking for the first time was daunting. But I was inspired by Brandi Burke, a first-time TAPS volun
A Time of Thankfulness A Time of Thankfulness A Time of Thankfulness Rachael Hill The holiday season is one that can be very difficult when you are missing someone you love. Everything is about family dinners and family outings. Family, family, family. While I love spending time with my boys and our friends that have become like family, there is always that stinging reminder that my “family” is not complete since my husband is no longer with us. I have many friends on Facebook doing the “30 days of thankfulness a
Adjusting to a New Normal Adjusting to a New Normal Adjusting to a New Normal Darcie Sims When Normal Isn't Normal Any More Today I started to take down the tree and put away the holiday decorations. Yes, I know it's March, but after the effort of creating a new holiday routine in my life, it didn't seem right to simply discard it after a few short weeks. After all, creating a new way of looking at the holidays took a great deal of energy. I tried a new decorating scheme this year (we hung all the stockings – whe
Saturday Morning Message: Coping With Sudden Grief Emotions Saturday Morning Message: Coping With Sudden Grief Emotions Coping With Sudden Grief Emotions \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, Being there to listen without judgement is one wonderful gift TAPS gives to those who connect with our organization. The opening photo shows a TAPS Military Mentor listening carefully to a young survivor. Through our mentors, caring staff and our Helpline Team, TAPS is here 24/7 to listen and to provide support to all survivors. The Saturda
How I learned to re-embrace this precious gift of life How I learned to re-embrace this precious gift of life How I learned to re-embrace this precious gift of life \| TAPS Susan Carron-Demoreta September is National Suicide Prevention Month. This article is the fourth of five stories by TAPS suicide loss survivors who wish to share lessons learned from their grief journeys. We invite you to share this story using the hashtag #SurvivorSunday. If you know or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide, please call the National Suicide P
Saturday Morning Message: The things they leave behind Saturday Morning Message: The things they leave behind Saturday Morning Message: The things they leave behind \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, This week, survivors shared items they keep that are special remembrances of their loved ones. The picture today is of the laundry jug given to Marcia, by her son, Patrick, the last time he was home. She is the author of the original question. Read what others have saved to remind them of their loved ones. Surviving friends and family are invited to
Saturday Morning Message: Self Care Ideas Saturday Morning Message: Self Care Ideas Saturday Morning Message: Self Care Ideas \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, We are on a break and republishing the responses from one of our favorite topics, self-care. We’ll be back next week with the replies to Cheryl’s question. Self-care is something that is often overlooked when we are grieving, so I think it is a good idea to post an article about it every so often. The responses this week come from the TAPS Saturday Morning Message archives. Th
How Proud You Were to Fight for Freedoms in This Land How Proud You Were to Fight for Freedoms in This Land How Proud You Were to Fight for Freedoms in This Land Linda Ambard As I ran yesterday morning, a song I often affiliated with my Phil began to waft through my head phones. “I could see it in your eyes how proud you were to fight for freedom in our land.” Phil never took for granted the freedoms afforded to him by the citizenship he received to our country a week shy of his 18th birthday. He felt civic duty to serve and to vote. While he wa
Four Years... And Counting Four Years... And Counting Four Years... And Counting Rachael Hill I say it every year, but has another year really gone by? How is that possible? How can time move so quickly, but yet so slowly at the same time? It has been four years. Four years since I last sent my husband to work with a hug and a kiss. Four years since that dreadful phone call bringing my world to a screeching halt. Four years since my husband died, and I was left to find my way in a world I never wanted to be in. A worl
A Godwink in Denver A Godwink in Denver A Godwink in Denver \| TAPS Robert Bisterfeldt On April 1, 2023, my son, Joseph, had a brain biopsy surgery for his brain tumor, at UCHealth University of Colorado Hospital in Aurora, Colorado. It was a stressful time for my family. Joseph’s last brain biopsy surgery — back in 2013 — came with many post-surgery complications, and we hoped for a better experience this time. My wife, Amy, had just arrived back at the hospital to switch out with me — there was only one perso
Spotlight on Service: Nicki Bunting Spotlight on Service: Nicki Bunting Spotlight on Service: Nicki Bunting TAPS Nicki Bunting may be a busy single mom to two active little boys, but she also cares about helping others and wants to give back to the community. When TAPS Magazine caught up with Nicki by phone in December, she was busy getting holiday gift cards ready to mail to military widows who were struggling. “I know that when I was in my worst of times, I needed a lot of support. To be able to support others when they ar
A Father and His Marine A Father and His Marine A Father and His Marine Bob Bagosy My name is Bob Bagosy, I've been asked to write a monthly blog for TAPS from a man's point of view if you will! I'm just a Dad not a professional writer so what I write will be from my heart. On Monday May 10, 2010 the day after Mother's Day around 1:00 PM on a clear, blue, spring afternoon on board Camp Lejeune, my son Sgt. Thomas R Bagosy USMC a career Marine age 25, married father of two children completed suicide in front of Go
Saturday Morning Message: God Winks Saturday Morning Message: God Winks Saturday Morning Message: God Winks \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, There were so many interesting God winks sent this week that I think it will take two weeks to share these marvelous moments in our lives. If you have a God wink you would like to share after reading this week’s message, feel free to send it along. I will include it in the monthly Writers’ Circle that is sent to those who request it. The picture this week comes from Debra, wife
Nutrition and Stress Nutrition and Stress Nutrition and Stress Ruth Crocker Finding Strength for Your Grieving Body Visit www.ruthwcrocker.com for more thoughts on nourishment, nutrition, writing, resilience, and mindfulness. Naomi appeared lean and fit, although a bit pale, when she arrived at her appointment in the Nutrition Clinic at Massachusetts General Hospital. At first glance, before taking her history, I thought she might be a long-distance runner, an ice skater, or a gymnast. I had counseled many e
Volunteering as an Act of Healing Volunteering as an Act of Healing Volunteering as an Act of Healing \| TAPS Stephanie Frogge “What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal.” ~ Albert Pike Altruism is defined as the practice of being concerned for and acting upon that concern for others without there being any direct benefit to the person engaging in it. For many, volunteering for a worthy cause is one way of practicing altruism even if we don’t nec
Putting the Closure on the Use of the Word Closure in Grief Putting the Closure on the Use of the Word "Closure" in Grief Putting the Closure on the Use of the Word "Closure" in Grief \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt "If you are seeking a time when you will be finished, you will never be done." ~ TIBETAN SAYING In these contemporary times, you may be led to believe that you need to achieve “closure” after the death of someone in your life. As a matter of fact, you may have already experienced someone approaching you and asking, “Have you had closure yet?” I
Saturday Morning Message: Pet Grief Support Saturday Morning Message: Pet Grief Support Saturday Morning Message: Pet Grief Support \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, Pets can be comforting. This week, survivors sent their thoughts and pictures of pets not only through the Saturday Morning Message but also through the TAPS Facebook page in a post about International Dog Day. I hope you enjoy reading about these special pets. The opening picture this week is Sox, companion of Perry, father of Christopher. You will read more about him and
Understanding A Widow’s Heart, New Directions Understanding A Widow’s Heart, New Directions Understanding A Widow’s Heart, New Directions Emma Wright March 9, 2013 Two and a half years ago today marks the darkest day I've ever known. The day when I was awakened by two dark silhouettes that I could see through the decorative glass panel of my front door. I could have been dreaming. Given the fact that the sun had not risen, that was my immediate assumption. But the silhouettes became much more real as I opened the door, confused and very
Moments…Just Moments Moments…Just Moments Moments…Just Moments Darcie Sims Have you ever had a moment? You know, a moment when time stood still and everything was as it should be—right and good and whole and wonderful. A moment when you were in the right place at the right time and life was good. Did you ever have a moment like that? Did you ever have a moment when the sun danced across the windowpane and made a rainbow through the glass? Or the breeze caught the fragrance of roses and sent it drifting past
The Critical Importance of Seeking Support The Critical Importance of Seeking Support The Critical Importance of Seeking Support Alan Wolfelt Learning from the Geese If there is ever a time in life when we need others to support and nurture us, it’s when someone we love dies. In many ways, grief work is the most difficult work we will ever do. And hard work is less burdensome when others lend a hand. Sharing the devastation that results from the death of someone precious won’t make the hurt go away, but it does make it more
Video: TAPS: Helping Families of Fallen Troops TAPS: Helping Families of Fallen Troops TAPS: Helping Families of Fallen Troops TAPS Media (TAPS) is the national organization providing compassionate care for the families of America's fallen military heroes and has offered support to more than 44,000 surviving family members of our fallen military and their caregivers since 1994. TAPS provides peer-based emotional support, grief and trauma resources, grief seminars and retreats for adults, Good Grief Camps for children, case work assistance
Oshkosh Defense Honors Fallen Heroes with Team TAPS at Army Ten-Miler Oshkosh Defense Honors Fallen Heroes at Army Ten-Miler Oshkosh Defense Honors Fallen Heroes at Army Ten-Miler TAPS On October 9, a team of 10 athletes from Oshkosh Defense ran with Team TAPS at the 32nd Annual Army Ten-Miler race in Washington D.C. The Oshkosh team each were paired with a fallen hero and wore an honor race bib with the soldier's name and photo. The team ran in memory of their hero as a tribute to their family and as a way to remind others of the sacrifices our service members
Runners Around the World Raise Support for TAPS Runners Around the World Raise Support for TAPS Runners Around the World Raise Support for TAPS TAPS From Disney, to Vegas, to Alaska, Team TAPS pounded out over 15,000 miles to honor our fallen heroes and raise money and awareness for our TAPS families. It was a year of historic firsts with Team TAPS members participating in the New York City Marathon, Ragnar Relays and an Ironman. We also joined forces with an outstanding group of female high school softball players in Utah and expanded our
Saturday Morning Message: Our Loved Ones' Favorite Musicians or Bands Saturday Morning Message: Our Loved Ones' Favorite Musicians or Bands Our Loved Ones' Favorite Musicians or Bands \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, Many people find that music can help them express their feelings much easier than through writing or talking. I think that is how performers feel, as they often pour their heart and soul out to their audiences through their performances. The opening photo shows a group of musicians who came together in 2018 at the TAPS Co
Saturday Morning Message: Listen, Learn and Love Saturday Morning Message: "Listen.Learn.Love." Listen, Learn and Love \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, We are grateful that you connect with us each week and that the Saturday Morning Message has been a source of hope and comfort to you along your grief journey. At TAPS, we welcome and support all those grieving the loss of a military loved one, no matter how they died. This includes thousands of survivors of military suicide loss to whom we offer hope, healing, and r
4 Goals I Made After Losing My Loved One 4 Goals I Made After Losing My Loved One 4 Goals I Made After Losing My Loved One \| TAPS Hannah Grace Just a few days after the funeral for my boyfriend, Staff Sgt. Forrest B. Sibley, I visited his grave. I rolled out my American flag towel on the freshly laid grass, and sat there for about two hours, talking to him while enjoying the beautiful sunny Florida weather. I talked about how I was feeling — cried, laughed, shared memories — and it all led to making him four promises, which turned
The Family Plot Arlington National Cemetery: The Family Plot Arlington National Cemetery: The Family Plot \| TAPS Claire Henline Whispering across the ageless stones, some of our modern-day Spartans lie in Arlington National Cemetery. The cemetery itself has long held a singular reputation of honor, duty, and sacrifice, but it is really one of many distinguished cemeteries for our nation's veterans across the country. Still, Arlington captures the patriot's heart and evokes the spirit of sacrifice like few ot
Book Shelf: Unremarried Widow Book Shelf: Unremarried Widow Book Shelf: Unremarried Widow Joanne Steen Artis Henderson's Unremarried Widow (Simon & Schuster, 2014) is her honest, gripping memoir about a fresh, bold love sandwiched between two eerily similar tragedies. I devoured this book with head-nodding agreement, and I am certain every military widow will find an abundance of ways to identify with it. Traumatic death came calling early in Artis's life when her father, a pilot, was killed in the crash of his single-e
I Jigged When I Wanted To Jag I Jigged When I Wanted To Jag I Jigged When I Wanted To Jag Sarah Greene Those who know new grief probably find it hard to imagine that "joy" could ever enter their life again. But I have found that it is possible. And I can tell you the exact moment that the first glimmer of joy entered my house, 3 weeks after my husband died... My kids were 8 and 10 years young when their dad died. Prior to his death, they had known joy in so many things and one of these things was music. Not long before
Holiday Healing for the Body, Mind, and Spirit Holiday Healing for the Body, Mind, and Spirit Holiday Healing for the Body, Mind, and Spirit Mary Jane Hurley Brant The holidays have arrived. Normally they are a time for family fun and celebration but when you are grieving the loss of someone who has died, the season is different: it is painful. Grieving is a long process. It takes time to heal from the loss of a loved one. When we are grieving, we can feel completely overwhelmed with sadness, overwhelmed with missing the beloved person
The Unicorn Song “The Unicorn” Song “The Unicorn” Song \| TAPS Kristi Stolzenberg The Story Behind the TAPS Tradition In nearly any other room, anywhere else in the world, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, with four stars resting on each shoulder, would project effortless confidence — the product of decades of military service that demanded coolness under pressure, being able to read situations quickly and accurately, and always being ready to face challenges. That was not the case when Genera
Putting for Hope: Golf Tournaments Raise Mission Awareness Putting for Hope: Golf Tournaments Raise Mission Awareness Putting for Hope: Golf Tournaments Raise Mission Awareness Bevin Landrum Many of our families lay their loved ones to rest in hallowed grounds across the country. Perfectly manicured green lawns and lush landscapes. Hushed tones lend a sense of reverence. There are flowers and headstones marking their lives and our love. Paths lead us to sit with them for a while as we contemplate the memories and even shed tears of grief. On a dif
The Game of Life The Game of Life The Game of Life \| TAPS Joel Fish Robert Delaney The coronavirus crisis has disrupted our individual and collective life rhythms. Rhythm generally means a movement marked by the regulated succession of strong and weak elements, or of opposite/different conditions – and we all know there is a rhythm to our professional and personal lives as well. The term “life-work-balance” has been a corporate mantra since the 1980s, which for decades has caused the rolling of eyes since folk
Tending the Garden of Grief With Mindfulness Meditation Tending the Garden of Grief With Mindfulness Meditation Tending the Garden of Grief With Mindfulness Meditation Heather Stang Autumn in my small farming town in mid-Maryland is a time of harvest and abundance. Farmers markets are in full swing, nourishing our bodies with healthy vegetables and filling our senses with vibrant colors and smells. And yet it is a time where nature's energy begins to wind down in preparation for winter, which I like to think of as nature's sacred pause. Autumn is
Eating to Live or Living to Eat? Eating to Live or Living to Eat? Eating to Live or Living to Eat? Victoria Hawk Personal Responses to Grief “How can I eat at a time like this?” “It all just tastes like cardboard…” “I still don’t have the energy to even plan a meal, let alone cook it.” Throughout life, different circumstances will affect our ability to eat well. One of the first things we notice about grieving is that it affects our relationship with food. And since we all grieve differently, there is no one-size-
TAPS Family American Flag Book TAPS Family American Flag Book TAPS Family American Flag Book TAPS American Flags for Gold Star Families The Families of America’s Fallen Heroes have a special relationship with the American flag. Their loved ones raised their right hand standing before it and pledged to protect it with their life and defend the nation it represents. Their heroes wore the American flag on their uniform and stood at attention each day to honor it. When they made the ultimate sacrifice, they were laid to rest
An Open Letter to Our TAPS Family During Election 2016 An Open Letter to Our TAPS Family During Election 2016 An Open Letter to Our TAPS Family During Election 2016 TAPS Since 1994, TAPS has worked with leaders at all levels of the military and government to provide the best compassionate care for families of the fallen. We remain to this day a non-lobbying, non-partisan organization working across party lines to ensure quality programs and resources for military survivors regardless of anyone's political affiliations or beliefs. We recognize
Forgiveness, a Key to Healing Forgiveness, a Key to Healing Forgiveness, a Key to Healing Andrea Hug Allowing peace into your life He died at the hand of another and I was left to raise our three small children alone. Chris was my husband, my best friend, and my soul mate. Simply put he was everything to me, and instantly I felt as if I had nothing. How could I go on? Chris, an avid cyclist, had gone out for a bicycle ride down a country road in the late afternoon on August 1, 1993 and was struck from behind by a man
To Your Health To Your Health To Your Health LaRita Archibald Self Care "Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin as self neglecting." ~ William Shakespeare, Henry V Grieving is very hard work. It depletes energy and robs one of rest, of joy, and of the wish to care properly for oneself. For a time, most bereaved don't care whether they reestablish routine or restore structure in their lives. Some may not care about maintaining their health. Each is obsessed with the death and the loss that has occ
Explore Museums for Free This Summer Explore Museums for Free This Summer Explore Museums for Free This Summer TAPS Participation in Blue Star Museums is one of our favorite ways to enjoy the summer season! From Memorial Day through Labor Day each year, Blue Star Families partners with the National Endowment for the Arts to bring you free admission to more than 2,000 museums across the country. We love this program because museums are great places to learn with your families, and create lasting memories. Our friends at the A
Video: TAPS Policy & Legislative Advocacy Update Video: TAPS Policy & Legislative Advocacy Update TAPS Policy & Legislative Advocacy Update Webinar \| TAPS Institute Candace Wheeler Ashlynne Haycock-Lohmann Learn how the TAPS policy team is advocating for you on Capitol Hill on a variety of issues from remarriage to toxic exposure. This is your opportunity to learn about how TAPS is fighting for surviving families, and for our Policy and Legislative team to hear what issues matter most to YOU! This webinar is presented by the TAPS Institute
Video: TAPS Policy and Legislative Update Video: TAPS Policy and Legislative Update TAPS Policy and Legislative Update Webinar \| TAPS Institute Candace Wheeler Ashlynne Haycock-Lohmann Learn how the TAPS Government and Legislative Affairs team is advocating for ALL Survivors on Capitol Hill on a variety of issues from remarriage and increasing Dependency and Indemnity Compensation to healthcare and mental healthcare improvements for surviving families. This is your opportunity to learn more about how TAPS is fighting for surviving f
Video: Visiting Mom Video: Visiting Mom #FamiliesNeverForget Video: Visiting Mom #FamiliesNeverForget \| TAPS TAPS Media The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) provides resources, support and comfort to heal the hearts and meet the needs of grieving military families all at no cost to them. Families never forget and neither do we. Show our military families that they are not alone. Help us at taps.org/family. Select image below to play. military bereaved, caring for the military families of the f
Agency Over Agent Orange Agency Over Agent Orange Agency Over Agent Orange \| TAPS Claire Henline “Hey ‘CG’ Can I get you anything?” It was the question my dad always asked me when I was really sick. The kind of sick he could tell just by the look of me — a crumpled up little lump of ginger lethargy on the couch with my woobie — was not just the ‘7 to 2 get out of school flu’ I sometimes came down with. It came in a tone of deep sincerity and earnest determination to fix it however best he could. His hea
Embracing the Sadness of Grief Embracing the Sadness of Grief Embracing the Sadness of Grief Alan Wolfelt “In every heart there is an inner room, where we can hold our greatest treasures and our deepest pain.” — Marianne Williamson Sadness is a hallmark symptom of grief, which in turn is the consequence of losing something we care about. In this way you could say that sadness and love are inextricably linked. When you are grieving, it is normal to feel sad. I would even argue that it is necessary to feel sad. But why i
Embracing the Sadness of Grief Embracing the Sadness of Grief Embracing the Sadness of Grief \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt “In every heart, there is an inner room, where we can hold our greatest treasures and our deepest pain.” — Marianne Williamson Sadness is a hallmark symptom of grief, which in turn is the consequence of losing something we care about. In this way, you could say that sadness and love are inextricably linked. Yes, when you are grieving, it is normal to feel sad. I would even argue that it is necessary to fee
Saturday Morning Message: More Memories of Favorite Moments Saturday Morning Message: More Memories of Favorite Moments Saturday Morning Message: More Memories of Favorite Moments \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, Two weekends ago I attended the Southeast Regional Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp in Jacksonville, Florida. There I met other survivors and we shared our thoughts. The picture shows some who attended talking to each other, which to me is the best part of a TAPS event. I will keep my comments short today so you can read the special mem
Pedaling Fast, Headed Nowhere Pedaling Fast, Headed Nowhere Pedaling Fast, Headed Nowhere Darcie Sims I was riding my new exercise bike this morning, making good on a new year’s resolution, when I got to thinking. Here I am, pedaling fast and getting nowhere. It’s hard work. Riding an exercise bike is a lot like grieving. We seem to be pedaling fast and sometimes, it seems as if we are going nowhere. Grief just seems to become an endless ribbon of concrete, stretching far past my limits of endurance. It never seems t
When Someone You Love Completes Suicide When Someone You Love Completes Suicide When Someone You Love Completes Suicide Alan Wolfelt Opening to the Presence of Your Loss This article is excerpted from Dr. Wolfelt's book The Wilderness of Suicide Grief: Finding Your Way. “In every heart there is an inner room, where we can hold our greatest treasures and our deepest pain.” ~ Marianne Williamson Someone you love has completed suicide. In your heart, you have come to know your deepest pain. To be bereaved literally means to be to
Helping Military Kids with Traumatic Death Helping Military Kids with Traumatic Death Helping Military Kids with Traumatic Death Linda Goldman Ordinary fears are a normal part of a child’s developmental growth, and children create internal and external mechanisms to cope with these fears. But a child’s ordinary fears can be transformed into very real survival fears in the face of severe trauma. After children experience the death of a parent, they often feel alone and different. Frightened because their once comfortable world now seem
Grief Causing Physical Pain? Turns Out, That’s Pretty Normal. Grief Causing Physical Pain? Turns Out, That’s Pretty Normal. Kathleen Ferraro In the weeks after my father died, I was numb. And then one day, about two months later, bam. My neck muscles were so tight I couldn’t turn my head, my stomach churned in ways unrelated to hunger, my jaw was clenched shut, and my limbs were heavy with exhaustion. The physical effects of grief had finally caught up with me. Over the next few years, these physical health issues came in waves — sometimes a heada
The Mask of Being OK The Mask of Being OK The Mask of Being OK \| TAPS Sammi Hester With the fall season fully underway, I find myself reflecting. My children and I have always loved the excitement Fall brings. With festivals, fires, and flavors, the senses come to life and new memories are made. For our family, Fall also signals the start of the holiday season, beginning with Halloween. While I know not everyone celebrates Halloween, the topic brought to mind the masks that are often worn during this t
How I learned to stop asking why and use my tragedy as a force for good How I learned to stop asking “Why?” and use my tragedy as a force for good How I learned to stop asking “Why?” and use my tragedy as a force for good \| TAPS Don Lipstein September is National Suicide Prevention Month. This article is the last of five stories by TAPS suicide loss survivors who wish to share lessons learned from their grief journeys. We invite you to share this story using the hashtag #SurvivorSunday. If you know or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide, pleas
Saturday Morning Message: Activities to Deal with Grief Saturday Morning Message: Activities to Deal with Grief Saturday Morning Message: Activities to Deal with Grief Carol Lane Good morning, Dealing with our loved ones not being here can be isolating and lonely. Activities can not only help your grief but also create a way to show others that it is all right to share memories of your loved one. Some survivors find something about which they are passionate and do that to honor their loved ones. Others find it difficult to decide what to do. I w
Learning to Let Go Learning to Let Go Learning to Let Go Amber Baum (It’s Not What You Think) When most people hear me say I’m learning to let go, they assume I’m speaking of my late husband, Sergeant Ryan John Baum, who was killed in Iraq on May 18, 2007. Some time ago, I would have drawn the same conclusion, because some time ago I was genuinely trying to let him go. Too much pain, confusion, and uncertainty punched my gut each time I heard his name or recalled our memories. Back on that dark day in 2007,
Faces of TAPS: Surviving Father Matt Daud’s Story Faces of TAPS: Surviving Father Matt Daud’s Story Faces of TAPS: Surviving Father Matt Daud’s Story \| TAPS TAPS Matt Daud Faces of TAPS is a new series where, in their own words, survivors both celebrate the lives of their military loved ones and reflect on their personal grief journey. We’re kicking off this series with a reflection from Matt Daud, surviving father of USMC Cpl Christopher Daud. After spending nearly 40 years as a pilot for United Airlines, Matt retired from flying in April
Saturday Morning Message: Women Who Have Had Positive Impacts On Our Grief Journey Saturday Morning Message: Women Who Have Had Positive Impacts On Our Grief Journey Women Who Have Had Positive Impacts On Our Grief Journey \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message TAPS Good Morning, As we welcome in the fresh spring air around the country, we are reminded nature is blooming all around us. Our winter slumber is now behind us allowing for new beginnings and acknowledging the busyness spring and summer has to offer. So this may be a good time to pause and reflect on ways to reduce stre
Atlanta Falcons Andre Roberts Selected for the 2017 Salute to Service Award for Supporting Military Families Atlanta Falcons Andre Roberts Selected for the 2017 Salute to Service Award for Supporting Military Families Atlanta Falcons Andre Roberts Selected for the 2017 Salute to Service Award for Supporting Military Families \| TAPS TAPS Media Andre Roberts has made time for our TAPS families and always welcomes them with open arms and a big smile whether it's on the field or off. We celebrate his recent accolade as the recipient of the NFL's Salute to Service Award and are honored that TAPS was
Carrying Each Other Through the Load of Grief Carrying Each Other Through the Load of Grief Carrying Each Other Through the Load of Grief \| TAPS Betty Medlock My parents, who were part of the Greatest Generation, taught me to respect and honor Memorial Day. But, while several members of my extended family served our country, none died while serving. So, for much of my life, Memorial Day remained mostly an abstract holiday. All that changed in January 2016, when I lost my son, Michael. After Michael’s death, Memorial Day shifted from ab
Military Survivors of Suicide Loss Build Community at the TAPS National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp Military Survivors of Suicide Loss Build Community at the TAPS National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp Military Survivors of Suicide Loss Build Community at the TAPS National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp TAPS Earlier this month TAPS hosted its 14th Annual National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp in Dallas, Texas. It was a weekend full of community, hope, and healing as hundreds of survivors of military suicide loss came tog
Saturday Morning Message: Places That Touch Our Hearts Saturday Morning Message: Places That Touch Our Hearts Saturday Morning Message: Places That Touch Our Hearts \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, When contemplating going to a certain place after the loss of our loved ones, we put a great deal of thought into the decision. Although it is not possible to know what this young survivor in the photo is thinking, I thought it really fit today’s topic. The varied answers this week show how survivors handle going to places that may make them feel
Saturday Morning Message: Songs of the Heart Saturday Morning Message: Songs of the Heart Saturday Morning Message: Songs of the Heart Carol Lane Good Morning, Songs are one artistic form that can become special for survivors. This week, members of our TAPS family shared songs that are meaningful to them. I hope you enjoy the responses Do you have a song close to your heart? Share with us here and also visit TAPS Facebook. This message will appear there and you can add your comment and a special song. The question for next week is
Is Winter Paradise in Disguise? Is Winter Paradise in Disguise? Is Winter Paradise in Disguise? Darcie Sims There ought to be a law! There ought to be a law against snow and ice and winter. There ought to be a law against snow drifting across the back door and one against ice forming on the sidewalks after I've shoveled. There ought to be a law against 40 below and frozen peas (they have nothing to do with winter, but there should be a law against peas anyway). There should be laws to protect the average citizen fro
Love and Grief Love and Grief Love and Grief Alan Wolfelt Living as You Were Meant to Live “We are all mirrors unto one another. Look into me and you will find something of yourself as I will of you.” ~ Walter Rinder Love is a sacred partnership of communion with another human being. You take each other in, and even when you are apart, you are together. Wherever you go, you carry the person inside you. Communion means the sharing or exchanging of intimate thoughts and feelings, especially on a spiritual l
White Stones of Honor White Stones of Honor White Stones of Honor Ken Ashley It couldn’t have happened…but it did. It shouldn’t have happened…but it did. There it was, that wooden box that was holding my precious son, my only son, draped in the colors of the country he fought and died for. It’s still hard to say…but, there it was. There I was, standing beside that box, my hand gently lying upon that revered cloth and again the tears flowed freely, and I would not stop them from flowing. They were coming from the
Inside the TAPS Good Grief Camp Inside the TAPS Good Grief Camp Inside the TAPS Good Grief Camp Heather Campagna Many people wonder just what takes place within the borders of a TAPS Good Grief Camp…and adult survivors have often said it looks like more fun to be on the kid’s side of our national gathering! Undeniably, the Good Grief Camp involves events that can lighten young hearts, but all of our activities are also specially selected to offer a safe place for each child to “just be” wherever they are in their grief. Tha
A Change of Season A Change of Season A Change of Season Darcie Sims Learning to Keep our Loved Ones’ Memories Alive in Every Season It’s harvest time, clean up time, gathering time. It’s time to put away the beach balls and the lawn mower. It’s time to shake the sand from the shoes and store away the croquet set and find the storm windows. It’s time to “put up” the garden’s bounty and find someone who doesn’t have enough zucchini. It’s time to find the mittens and try on the sweaters and coats. It’s time to g
Very Important Document Very Important Document Very Important Document \| TAPS Diego Rincon Kristi Stolzenberg Ideliz Mora-Cruz This article is available in English and Spanish. (Este artículo está disponible en inglés y español.) FORWARD: PFC Diego Rincon died on foreign soil on March 29, 2003, proudly wearing a U.S. Army uniform, but he was not a U.S. citizen. He was just 5 years old in 1989 when he immigrated to the United States with his older brother and his parents, Jorge and Yolanda. The
Photos: stars4taps CBS Morning Show stars4taps with the CBS Morning Show stars4taps with the CBS Morning Show Photos \| TAPS TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (10 photos) //
Video: Legacies Live On Video: Legacies Live On Video: Legacies Live On \| TAPS TAPS Media Listen to military survivors who have grown up with TAPS by their side as children. Now adults, they are doing great things in the world as the Living Legacies of America's service and sacrifice. They will be the next generation of TAPS. Visit Legacies Live On, Honoring 30 Years for more inspiring survivor stories of resilience, healing, and transformation. Select image below to play. military survivor, living legacies,
Photos: teams4taps Cincinnati teams4taps Football Club Cincinnati Practice TAPS at Football Club Cincinnati Practice \| TAPS TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (26 photos) //
Video: Memorial Day and Every Day - Love Lives On Video: Memorial Day and Every Day - Love Lives On Video: Memorial Day and Every Day - Love Lives On \| TAPS TAPS Media View our tribute to all those who have served, for all those whose names now reside in stone - you are forever in our hearts and we remember you. Visit us at taps.org/loveliveson Select image below to play. memorial day tribute, love lives on music, taps survivors, military fallen View our tribute to all those who have served, for all those whose names now reside in
Video: TAPS Peer Mentors Share Their Experience TAPS Peer Mentors Share Their Experience TAPS Peer Mentors Share Their Experience TAPS Media Our Peer Mentor Network is a circle of comfort, hope and understanding; at its core is survivors helping survivors heal through the power of one-to-one connections. Visit the TAPS Peer Mentor page to learn how to become a TAPS Peer Mentor. TAPS Peer Mentors Share Their Experience Our Peer Mentor network is a circle of comfort, hope and understanding; at its core is survivors helping survivors
Traumatic Grief in Military Children Traumatic Grief in Military Children Traumatic Grief in Military Children TAPS Traumatic Grief in Military Children: Information for Families To read the complete article, visit www.NCTSN.org and click on Military Children & Families. National Child Traumatic Stress Network. (2008). Traumatic Grief in Military Children: Information for Families. Los Angeles, CA & Durham, NC: National Center for Child Traumatic Stress. By the National Child Traumatic Stress Network military child
The Legacy Lives On The Legacy Lives On The Legacy Lives On \| TAPS Kristi Stolzenberg Ashlynne Haycock-Lohmann is in her element walking the halls of Congress. The echoes of advocacy, the rushed click clack of heels on the marble floors, and the hush that sweeps the room as a committee hearing comes to order - she answers it all with a steady hand. For Ashlynne, these are the sounds of progress for military and veteran survivors - progress she personally knows is necessary, progress that became her why years ag
Expressing Your Grief: Healing Through Writing Expressing Your Grief: Healing Through Writing Expressing Your Grief: Healing Through Writing \| TAPS Stephanie Frogge "Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break." ~ William Shakespeare Going public – sharing one's letters, poems, or other written thoughts – is an intensely personal and potentially risky experience. But not all writing has to be widely read to be valuable. Keeping a diary or writing a letter that no one but you will eve
Saturday Morning Message: Responding to Comments Saturday Morning Message: Responding to Comments Saturday Morning Message: Responding to Comments \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, This week there were a variety of comments about how others celebrate the lives of their loved ones on special days. They also offered strategies about coping with family members and friends who may have a different way of grieving or have opinions that hurt you deeply. I found an article from the TAPS website titled Beyond the Burst of Support written by TAPS Sui
Saturday Morning Message: TAPS National Seminar Highlights Saturday Morning Message: TAPS National Seminar Highlights Saturday Morning Message: TAPS National Seminar Highlights \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, There are so many things to do at the TAPS seminars, but the one thing to which I most look forward is meeting others whom I only know from computer connections. Working from home on the chats and with the Saturday Morning Message and Writers’ Circle Newsletter, I don’t meet those I contact in person until that seminar. It is a thrill to person
Hiking the Pacific Crest Trail: A Brother’s Journey of Love Hiking the Pacific Crest Trail: A Brother’s Journey of Love Sibling Survivor Honors His Veteran Brother's Memory - TAPS News Bevin Landrum *Editor's note: TAPS plans to continue checking in with Jerry on his trek and will feature an update in a future edition of the magazine. You can find Jerry on Facebook (/jerry.d.bevel) or Instagram (@bigspoon421) to follow his journey of love. Sunrise comes slowly to the mountain ranges that line the Pacific Crest Trail. Mount Whitney is the highest hurd
Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Activities Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Activities Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Activities Carol Lane Good Morning, This picture is the American flag next to a banner designed by Anne, mother of Michael, which is placed in a mall near her home to remind people of Memorial Day's meaning. You will read her comments later. Most of the TAPS staff, including me, will be attending the 22nd Annual TAPS National Military Seminar and Good Grief Camp on May 26 - May 30. If you are joining
Waiting to Exhale . . . Waiting to Exhale . . . Waiting to Exhale . . . Amy Dozier January 9, 2008: The knock . . . the shock . . . They came around 8:30 on a Wednesday night. I had just put Emma in her crib and sat down to watch TV. There were three of them and I thought they were there to kill us. Why else would these official-looking men be at my house so late at night during an active war time? I didn't believe them when they "regretted" to inform me. I wouldn't even let them in my house. I remember shaking a
Expressing Your Grief Expressing Your Grief Expressing Your Grief Stephanie Frogge Healing Through Writing “Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.” ~ William Shakespeare Going public—sharing one's letters, poems, or other written thoughts—is an intensely personal and potentially risky experience. But not all writing has to be widely read to be valuable. Keeping a diary or writing a letter that no one but you will ever read can have a significant posit
Healing Is In Session Healing Is In Session Healing Is In Session \| TAPS Emily Munoz I’ve had a song in my head since last November. It’s an old Van Morrison song that stays for a week or so, then floats away — until it comes back again some days later, always nudging me with the same line, “…and the healing has begun.” It just will not let me go. Usually, when I have a prolonged earworm like that, there’s a reason — or at least a trigger. Sometimes it’s a musical phrase (there was a commercial for a ski resort
Prepare Yourself for the Holidays Prepare Yourself for the Holidays Prepare Yourself for the Holidays Bonnie Carroll Alan Wolfelt Because the person who died is no longer there to share the holidays with you, you may feel particularly sad and vulnerable during Christmas, Hanukkah and other holidays that are special to your family. Don't overextend yourself during the holidays. Don't feel you have to shop, bake, entertain, send cards, etc. if you're not up for it. Sometimes old holiday rituals are comforting after a death a
Children’s Grief Awareness: TAPS Support and Resources Children’s Grief Awareness: TAPS Support and Resources Children’s Grief Awareness Week: TAPS Support and Resources \| TAPS Andy McNiel Note: This article was first published on November 1, 2022 for Child Grief Awareness Month and is republished here for Children's Grief Awareness Week: November 16 to 22, 2023. November is Children's Grief Awareness Month. Here at the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS), we recognize this important time of year in support of our bereaved childr
Life Will Be Different, But It Can Still Be Good Life Will Be Different, But It Can Still Be Good Life Will Be Different, But It Can Still Be Good \| TAPS Heather Gray Blalock The first holiday season after my husband was killed in action was when I began to sense that God must have a sense of humor. A Costco-sized bag of candy each had bribed my children out of trick-or-treating. The thought of cold creeping as a single parent with masked little ones was more than I could handle. Feelings of guilt lingered over that until Thanksgiving. So,
Train Your Brain for Better Sleep Train Your Brain for Better Sleep Train Your Brain for Better Sleep \| TAPS Grace Seamon-Lahiff Remember Pavlov’s Dogs, who got so hungry they started to drool when he heard the sound of a bell? When it comes to sleep, we are often just like those dogs. Have you ever been dog tired (puns are fun) at the end of the day, only to feel wide awake the moment your head hit the pillow? This typically happens when, like Pavlov, we have trained our brains to associate our bed with thoughts, feeling
Saturday Morning Message: The Help of Gardening Saturday Morning Message: The Help of Gardening Saturday Morning Message: The Help of Gardening \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, This was the perfect question for those of us in the north who seem to be waiting a bit longer for spring to come this year. The pictures are so beautiful and I know they will bring a smile to this week’s readers. I thought I would start with last year’s picture of the garden my husband, Ed, and I maintain each year that has been set up for the military losses fro
Saturday Morning Message: Finding Healing Through Volunteering Saturday Morning Message: Finding Healing Through Volunteering Saturday Morning Message: Finding Healing Through Volunteering Carol Lane Good morning, Volunteers are fundamental in any organization. TAPS uses volunteers in a variety of ways. At the seminars, there are those who come to TAPS to do any project needed to be done. Good Grief Camp mentors for TAPS children are active duty or veteran service members who volunteer their time. Then there are those survivors who are more than 18 mont
Saturday Morning Message: Making Friends at a TAPS Event Saturday Morning Message: Making Friends at a TAPS Event Saturday Morning Message: Making Friends at a TAPS Event Carol Lane Good Morning, Coming to a TAPS event alone can make us wonder how "we will fit in, how we will be treated, and what the event will be like". That was the question last week and many have written to say they will be waiting for this week's answers. Some who answered this question talked about attending a TAPS event and others addressed going out socially after the loss.
Saturday Morning Message: TAPS Seminars and Retreats Saturday Morning Message: TAPS Seminars and Retreats Saturday Morning Message: TAPS Seminars and Retreats Carol Lane Good Morning, Going to a seminar or a retreat can be a moving experience. If you haven’t attended either, you may want to know the special qualities of each. At a seminar, there are workshops to understand grief, support groups in which survivors meet in a gentle environment with others who have experienced a similar death, special events that are held in the local area aro
Children’s Grief Awareness Month: TAPS Support and Resources Children’s Grief Awareness Month: TAPS Support and Resources Children’s Grief Awareness Month: TAPS Support and Resources \| TAPS Andy McNiel November is Children's Grief Awareness Month. Here at the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS), we recognize this important time of year in support of our bereaved children, teenagers, and families. TAPS has been an active part of the children's grief awareness movement for the past several decades, and has worked tirelessly to ensure that the
Hidden Gems of Serenity in the Outdoors Hidden Gems of Serenity in the Outdoors Hidden Gems of Serenity in the Outdoors \| TAPS Colleen McGinnis This past spring, I ventured out to embark on the TAPS Hidden Gems Expedition in Southern Illinois. Since I had attended a few TAPS Events before, I had some preconceived notions about how the trip would go and how it would make me feel. However, I soon realized that the impact of this expedition was incredibly unique, and it greatly exceeded my expectations. Initially, I decided to look
Intention Setting Intention Setting Intention Setting Kelly Griffith Making Goals That Honor You and Your Hero The knock at the door came, and my world stopped. But within weeks I realized the world was still spinning for others. And they couldn't understand why mine wasn't. They wanted to know when my world would be in order again. They didn't realize that everything-including my priorities-had changed. I found myself feeling as if all the life goals I had before my brother died weren't worth much anymor
Pets and Grief: Can Our Animals Help Us Heal After Loss? Pets and Grief: Can Our Animals Help Us Heal After Loss? Pets and Grief: Can Our Animals Help Us Heal After Loss? \| TAPS Stephanie Frogge When the TAPS Helpline staff has a chance to connect every few days, we share information and updates, and we check in with each other — how are you, how is the week going, how is your family? And we know that family most definitely includes Niki’s 40-pound bulldog mutt who thinks she’s a lap dog, Maggie; my own Luna Cat, who is only sociable when I’m on Zo
TAPS Survivor Newsletter June 2021 TAPS Survivor Newsletter June 2021 TAPS Survivor Newsletter June 2021 TAPS Media military survivor news, June newsletter TAPS Survivor Newsletter June 2021 "Winter, spring, summer or fall All you have to do is call. And I'll be there, yes I will. You've got a friend" - Carole King
TAPS Survivor Newsletter November 2021 TAPS Survivor Newsletter November 2021 TAPS Survivor Newsletter November 2021 TAPS Media military survivor news, November newsletter TAPS Survivor Newsletter November 2021 November is a month to share gratitude, that may feel hard to do when we are grieving. At TAPS, we are grateful to count you as part of our family.
Videos: A Breath of Fresh Air October Videos: A Breath of Fresh Air with TAPS Outdoors - Getting & Staying Grounded Videos: A Breath of Fresh Air with TAPS Outdoors Rachel Hunsell power of nature on healing, grief recovery 2020 Virtual Outdoors October Videos Watch for new videos every Wednesday, do the suggested weekly activity, share your experience using #tapsoutdoors and be inspired to get outdoors!
Mental Health and the Military: Asking for Help When You Need It Mental Health and the Military: Asking for Help When You Need It Mental Health and the Military: Asking for Help When You Need It \| TAPS Jon Ganues This piece originally appeared in the Real Stories blog of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. I am a survivor of suicide loss, having lost a first cousin, a second cousin, and an Air Force son to suicide. I am also a survivor of suicide ideation. In 1993, while serving as a U.S. Army Warrant Officer, in the 82nd Airborne Division at
How I learned to confront my despair and rededicate my life How I learned to confront my despair and rededicate my life How I learned to confront my despair and rededicate my life \| TAPS Nicole Langhorst September is National Suicide Prevention Month. This article is the first of five stories by TAPS suicide loss survivors who wish to share lessons learned from their grief journeys. We invite you to share this story using the hashtag #SurvivorSunday. If you know or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide, please call the National Suici
Let the Volunteer Journey Begin Let the Volunteer Journey Begin Let the Volunteer Journey Begin \| TAPS Clynton Trewyn Editor’s note: Clynton Trewyn, who has served as a TAPS military mentor, recently started a blog. He decided to make his first post about something close to his heart. This blog entry, which first appeared on his site, Volunteer Ripple, has been adapted for use on the TAPS website. I’ve been blessed enough to travel the country volunteering with TAPS over the last four years. By caring for survivors griev
Making Dreams Come True Making Dreams Come True Making Dreams Come True \| TAPS Robert Worley II What’s your child’s dream job? Chef? Veterinarian? Teacher? With the right education, the potential opportunities are endless. But when a family member or loved one is lost, saving money for college can be difficult. The Department of Veterans Affairs knows how hard it can be for families who have experienced loss to pay for higher education. That’s why there are several VA assistance programs available to support spous
Taste the Love Taste the Love Taste the Love \| TAPS Chris Shank I've heard it said that smell is the sense most closely tied to memory. That is understandable as one of my fondest memories would be going to my grandmother's house and smelling the roast that had been cooking for hours. The meal she would make for us is something I can remember since I was old enough to understand what food was and is now a staple in our adult households. It should come as no surprise this was my brother Jeremy's favorite foo
Holiday Art Therapy: Practical Activities for Healing Holiday Art Therapy: Practical Activities for Healing Holiday Art Therapy: Practical Activities for Healing Bevin Landrum It’s no wonder that the holidays sometimes find us staring dazedly at holiday cards, half-decorated trees, and difficult wish lists (sparkle unicorns, rockets, removal of pesky siblings). The tasks and expectations that fall between November and the New Year are monumental even for families who aren’t living in the aftermath of tragic grief. For those of us tenderly cop
In Between Days In Between Days In Between Days Noreen Doloughty The stretch of time between Father's Day and the anniversary of my dad's death is a rest stop along my journey each year. I was eight months old when my dad, Army SSG James C. Doloughty was killed in Vietnam. He served in Alpha Company of 1st Battalion, 502ndInfantry, 101st Airborne Division. My dad stepped forward to rescue the wounded, until he himself was wounded, in an ambush on July 8, 1969 in the foothills west of Tam Ky. He died the foll
To Infinity and Beyond To Infinity and Beyond To Infinity and Beyond Linda Ambard Running the Dopey Challenge at Disney World was about more than a race for me. I have now completed 79 marathons, but this marathon (plus a half marathon, 10 K, and 5 K) represented more than a taxing physical challenge. The miles jump started 2014-my year of hope. What better place to start it than the place where the beginning of the end started; many happy memories came flooding back, and I was able to take that first terrifying
Connected by Shared Experiences, Bound by Love Connected by Shared Experiences, Bound by Love Connected by Shared Experiences, Bound by Love \| TAPS Rachel Hunsell We arrived at the Machame Gate, just shy of 6,000 feet in elevation, situated in the rainforest nestling the base of Mount Kilimanjaro. A tidal wave of anticipation washed over me as we were welcomed by locals, our porters and guide staff preparing for the journey ahead. Before we crossed the threshold of the gate, we gathered, as families do, in a circle connected as one. Se
Choices Choices Choices Linda Ambard Sometimes it feels like life is unfair. As I watch happy families together and as people assume that I am single by divorce, I want to scream at the world that this isn't my choice. None of it. Like many people, I thought I knew what my future held. I can't say that I always liked every aspect of my life, but for the most part, I liked my status quo and I knew who I was in my world. I was Phil Ambard's wife and Patrick, Josh, Emily, Alex, and Tim's mom. I wa
D-Day, my dad, citizens serving the nation D-Day, my dad, citizens serving the nation D-Day, my dad, citizens serving the nation \| TAPS Jim Hake Today is the 75th Anniversary of D-Day — the beginning of the Allied invasion of Normandy and the turning point in the liberation of Europe in World War II. My father was part of the invasion at Utah Beach. He decided to enlist in the Navy after the attack on Pearl Harbor and became a SeaBee. “SeaBee” comes from CB or Construction Battalion. As a Chief Shipfitter, my father’s job was to s
Video: How to Get Outside When You Can’t: Navigating Barriers to Healing in Nature Video: How to Get Outside When You Can’t: Navigating Barriers to Healing in Nature How to Get Outside When You Can’t: Navigating Barriers to Healing in Nature Webinar \| TAPS Institute Rachel Hunsell Each day we are learning more and more about the vast benefits of healing our mind, body and spirit in nature from the positive physical impacts of exposure to sunshine and fresh air to the array of ecological metaphors that aid in our meaning-making process. Yet, rarely do you see the headlines n
You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part Two You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part Two You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part Two \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt Editor's Note This is part two of a six-part series adapted from Dr. Alan Wolfelt's book, You're Not Crazy — You're Grieving. Part one appeared in the summer issue of TAPS Magazine. It's Important for You to Feel Safe and Comforted Have you felt stressed, anxious, fearful, agitated, panicked, worried, or uneasy since the death? I’m not sure grief is possib
Saturday Morning Message: Pet Support for Survivors Saturday Morning Message: Pet Support for Survivors Saturday Morning Message: Pet Support for Survivors Carol Lane Good Morning, This week survivors sent their heartwarming responses about how pets have helped them on their individual grief journeys. Many sent pictures of their house pets, so I thought you might find it interesting to see a picture of outside pets sent by Susan, spouse of Charles, at the beginning of today’s message. I will keep my remarks short this week as there were so ma
Hershel Woodrow "Woody" Williams Hershel Woodrow "Woody" Williams Tribute to Hershel Woodrow "Woody" Williams \| TAPS TAPS An American Hero and Friend to Gold Star Families This summer, our community lost a hero who had become a familiar face to surviving military families. Hershel "Woody" Williams was a Marine whose uncommon valor was equaled by his uncommon kindness. A Medal of Honor recipient, his compassion and his peer-based understanding of loss and grief were learned at a young age and only grew during World War II
NFL Salute to Service Honors Fallen Heroes and Their Families NFL Salute to Service Honors Fallen Heroes and Their Families NFL Salute to Service Honors Fallen Heroes and Their Families \| TAPS TAPS More than 400 family members who lost loved ones during their service to the nation attended Salute to Service activities at National Football League (NFL) events over the Veterans Day weekend with TAPS, honoring the lives of their fallen heroes and building new family memories together. Over the weekend, our families were honored at Los Angeles Rams, Atlan
Memorial Day Memorial Day Memorial Day Michele Hiester Marcum And here we are almost to Memorial Day again. Heavy sigh. Sad heart. This is the 9th one we've "celebrated" since my brother left this earth, and it seems impossible that it's been that long. But I know it's right, because I just counted them out on my fingers! Before I know it, I'll need more than two hands to tick off the quickening years. So much has changed and yet nothing has changed at all. It's a perplexing paradox to be caught bet
Klinger’s Korner: Navigating the Holidays as a Family Klinger’s Korner: Navigating the Holidays as a Family Klinger's Korner: Navigating the Holidays as a Family \| TAPS TAPS The holidays can be challenging times when we are grieving the death of a family member. All the lights, bright colors, and celebratory spirit can stand in stark contrast to the grief we may be feeling. Traditions bringing much meaning to our lives in the past may now serve as reminders of our person’s absence. Simply put, grieving during the holidays is not easy. As challen
Video: Grieving Men Find Healing at TAPS after Loss Video: Grieving Men Find Healing at TAPS after Loss Video: Grieving Men Find Healing at TAPS after Loss \| TAPS TAPS Media TAPS recognizes that many men require the support of fellow men to navigate their grief in a way that feels authentic to them, free from any expectations of how they should grieve. Whether you are a surviving brother, father, battle buddy, adult child, or spouse, TAPS welcomes you with open arms. So what is it about the TAPS Men's Program that bonds us to each other? We a
Run and Remember: Corporate Challenge Run and Remember: Corporate Challenge Run and Remember: Corporate Challenge TAPS Most members of our TAPS family are familiar with our Run and Remember Team, and many of our survivors are participants, running a grueling marathon or walking a 5K “race” to honor their loved ones who died in service to America. But not everyone knows about the special Corporate/Company Challenge program that TAPS instituted in 2010, three years ago. The Corporate Challenge program was designed by Run and Rem
Volunteers Make the TAPS Mission Possible TAPS Professionals Help Survivors In Darkest Moments TAPS Professionals Help Survivors In Darkest Moments TAPS Our dedicated and hard-working team of volunteers across the nation made it possible for survivors to find hope and healing on their grief journey in 2016. TAPS volunteers were able to give their time to further the TAPS mission, all while having fun. "This was the most fun and most fulfilling volunteer activity I've ever participated in, and volunteering has been a part of my mon
Lean on Me Lean on Me Lean on Me Jill Harrington-LaMorie Building Your Support Network Experiencing the death of a loved one can challenge us in many ways as we learn to adapt to the loss in our lives. Although there are no right or wrong ways to grieve, getting support and taking care of yourself can help you deal with your feelings of loss. One of the single most important factors in healing from loss is having support. Sharing your loss can make the burden of grief easier to carry. Even if y
Finding Hope Amid Devastating Loss: A Military Widow Who Lost her Marine to Suicide Shares Her Story Finding Hope Amid Devastating Loss: A Military Widow Who Lost her Marine to Suicide Shares Her Story Finding Hope Amid Devastating Loss: A Military Widow Who Lost her Marine to Suicide Shares Her Story Kim Ruocco My name is Kim Ruocco and I am the widow of United States Marine Major John Ruocco, who died by suicide at age 40 in 2005. John was an incredible husband, son, father to our two boys, and Marine. He was dedicated and passionate in everything he did. John joined the Marines in 198
Where the Music Began: The Inspiring Stories Behind Love Lives On Where the Music Began: The Inspiring Stories Behind Love Lives On Where the Music Began: The Inspiring Stories Behind Love Lives On \| TAPS TAPS "Love Lives On" is an album dedicated to the men and women who served and died in defense of America’s freedom. The songs included in this powerful collection share an honest message of courage, perseverance, and love. They are a vivid reminder of the guardians of our freedom and a reminder that the family also serves. Ten stories, ten families. V
Kids, Grief, and COVID-19 Kids, Grief, and COVID-19 Kids, Grief, and COVID-19 \| TAPS Linda Goldman Children and teens have had their world turned inside out during the coronavirus pandemic. The familiar has turned foreign, the expected has vanished, and the world as kids knew it pre-COVID-19 has transformed into a surreal new normal. Overwhelmed by virtual classes, home quarantine, cleanl
Mental Health in the Movies and Media: Continuing the Discussion on Suicide Mental Health in the Movies and Media: Continuing the Discussion on Suicide Mental Health in the Movies and Media: Continuing the Discussion on Suicide \| TAPS Carla Stumpf Patton Writers note: This story contains topics related to mental health and suicide. If you are experiencing emotional distress or thoughts of suicide, help can be found by contacting the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 (Veterans Press 1), or by contacting the National Crisis Text Line by texting “
Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Memories, Big and Small Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Memories, Big and Small Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Memories, Big and Small \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, The opening picture today was sent by Samantha, fiancé of Preston. I thought it was a great way to open today’s Saturday Morning Message because they look like they are having a great time. Read more about Preston below. I will keep my comments short, so you will have time to read the many memories that have been shared. Remember, you
Saturday Morning Message: Thankful Thoughts and Holiday Tips Saturday Morning Message: Thankful Thoughts and Holiday Tips Saturday Morning Message: Thankful Thoughts and Holiday Tips Carol Lane Good Morning, As 2016 comes to a close, it is time for many of us to look at where we are now on our grief journey and what has helped us. This week, survivors have shared what they are thankful for in their own lives, and TAPS has pulled together resources on the TAPS website to assist survivors during this time from Thanksgiving to New Year's Day. You can re
Something Borrowed, Something Blue Something Borrowed, Something Blue Something Borrowed, Something Blue \| TAPS Kat Stanley Ester Allgower A wedding is a bittersweet event when the bride and her family are still grieving the loss of one person whose presence at the wedding is critical. As my family prepared for my nuptials to my boyfriend of six years, we were missing one important person, my brother and only sibling, Corporal Richard Allgower, USMC. I was so devastated at the loss of my brother that I often wondered if I would
The Spiritual Path to Healing, Part 1 The Spiritual Path to Healing, Part 1 The Spiritual Path to Healing, Part 1 Alan Wolfelt Editor’s Note: The death of a loved one challenges us in many areas including our religious and spiritual beliefs. While spirituality and religious tradition help many who are grieving, TAPS does not endorse any one spiritual belief or religion over another. After the death of someone loved, you are “torn apart” and have some very unique needs. Among these needs is to nurture yourself in five importa
What Does 'Recover' Mean? What Does 'Recover' Mean? What Does 'Recover' Mean? Darcie Sims Redefining Our Expectations It’s hot and already I am beginning to pray for the return of winter. The days of summer have grown old and tired and I’m weary of hurting. Grief has followed me forever, or so it seems. When can I release the pain in search of the promise? How long must I hurt? Is grief measured in days, weeks, months, years, or lifetimes? I’m thirsty and I need a drink of hope. Grief has been a tornado, a volca
Video: Resilience is a Muscle Video: Resilience is a Muscle Resilience is a Muscle Webinar \| TAPS Institute Anne Brodsky The word "resilience" comes up quite often these days when we talk about how people and communities respond to challenges. But what really is resilience? Is it something we do or something we are? Where does it come from? And how do we increase our own resilience and help children gain resilience so we all can better respond to the challenges, both big and small, that are part of life? This webinar will
Video: Managing Work and Family Under the Same Roof TAPS Talks Video: Managing Work and Family Under the Same Roof Video: Managing Work and Family Under the Same Roof \| TAPS Institute Rachel Kodanaz Families are facing new challenges as parents may now be working from home while kids and teens are also isolated at home. This live connection, recorded by the TAPS Institute for Hope and Healing® and presented by author and speaker Rachel Kodanaz, discusses managing these new dynamics while also coping with loss and creative activities that fa
Video: Relaxation Meditation Video: Relaxation Meditation to ease the Anxiety, Stress and Tension of Grief Video: Relaxation Meditation to ease the Anxiety, Stress and Tension of Grief \| TAPS Institute Heather Stang This webinar was recorded by the TAPS Institute for Hope and Healing® and presented by Heather Stang, MA, C-IATY. This video recording of the webinar addresses how to care for your grieving body using evidence-based, easy-to-do meditation practices designed to reverse the harmful effects of grief and stres
You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part One You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part One You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part One \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt Author's Note: I have been a grief counselor and educator for more than 40 years, and “crazy” is the most common way in which people describe their early grief to me. Let me assure you straight off: It is normal to feel crazy after a significant loss. But you’re actually not going crazy in the way you may think. What you’re doing is grieving. This six-part article series
You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part Six You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part Six You’re Not Crazy — You’re Grieving — Part Six \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt Editor's Note This is the final article in a six-part series adapted from Dr. Alan Wolfelt's book, You're Not Crazy — You're Grieving. Parts one through five were published in the summer 2023, fall 2023, spring 2024, summer 2024 and fall 2024 issues of TAPS Magazine. In the early days after the death of someone you love dearly, it’s normal for this step to
Saturday Morning Message: Reactions to TAPS Seminar or Retreat Saturday Morning Message: Reactions to TAPS Seminar or Retreat Saturday Morning Message: Reactions to TAPS Seminar or Retreat \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, Those who responded to this week’s question were very honest. Attending a TAPS event can bring up different emotions depending where we are on our grief journey. As you read the replies, you will see that each writer talks about feelings at the time and what the experience meant to them. Several wrote about meeting others and forming a
Video: The Love Takes Action Series New York Life Video: The Love Takes Action Series New York Life Video: The Love Takes Action Series New York Life \| TAPS New York Life Foundation Terri Jones, Manager for the TAPS Survivor Care Team, shares her story about supporting surviving families who lost their military loved one. When Terri is not supporting and working with her TAPS family, she spends her downtime making masks for others during this COVID-19 crisis. Thank you to New York Life Foundation for their generous support of TAPS throughout
Honoring Nine Years of Support Honoring Nine Years of Support Honoring Nine Years of Support TAPS Oshkosh Defense stands behind those who dedicate their lives to America's defense and their families, especially those who have suffered the loss of a military loved one. For more than nine years, Oshkosh Defense has generously supported TAPS programs and is a leading supporter of the TAPS Honor Guard Gala. Oshkosh donates $2 for every Facebook "Like" or signature on nationwide event campaign boards. The Oshkosh Def
Audio: Ted Leionsis Interview: MSE Foundation Launches Wizards Courage Caps program Sponsored by Telos Ted Leionsis Interview: MSE Foundation Launches Wizards Courage Caps program Sponsored by Telos Ted Leionsis Interview: MSE Foundation Launches Wizards Courage Caps program Sponsored by Telos WTOP Ted Leonsis discusses the inaugural Washington Wizards Courage Program, which launches on Nov. 8 when the team hosts the Brooklyn Nets at the Verizon Center. Hats with the word “Courage” written in the Wizards’ wordmark will go on sale with 100% of the proceeds benefiting TAPS.The program is produce
Video: Using Your Voice for Change Video: Using Your Voice For Change Use Your Voice For Change Webinar \| TAPS Institute TAPS Institute For Hope & Healing Learn how the TAPS policy team is advocating for you on Capitol Hill on a variety of issues from remarriage to toxic exposure. You will also learn how to advocate for yourself and your family. How to find and contact your Members of Congress. How to share your story in a productive way to create change. Your voice matters. YOU can and will make a difference! This webinar is
Suggested Books for Grieving Adults Suggested Books for Grieving Adults Suggested Books for Grieving Adults Jonnie Chandler Editor’s Note: Our last issue featured books for children, and the issue before that listed books for teens. This article features books for adults. Some of them are specific to parental grief, while others are more general and incorporate all losses. I now tell time by before and after. Before two Army Captains knocked on my door on August 11, 2005, I was an avid reader. I loved having the words of even
Video: Suicide Postvention is Prevention Video: Suicide Postvention is Prevention Video: Suicide Postvention is Prevention \| TAPS TAPS Media There are unique needs and concerns around suicide loss that can be different than other causes of death. People who have been touched by suicide could be at higher risk for suicide themselves. Quality postvention care and support can dramatically reduce that risk. Suicide survivors in need are more likely to ask for help when they are connected to a supportive community. Call us 24/7 at 800.
Video: National Highlights Video: 28th Annual TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp Highlights Video: 28th Annual TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp Highlights \| TAPS TAPS Media Over Memorial Day Weekend 2022, more than 1200 military survivors, volunteers and staff gathered together for the annual TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp in Arlington, Virginia - a weekend of hope, healing, peer to peer connections, and a chance to honor and remember our
Video: Words Matter. How We Talk About Suicide Matters. Video: Words Matter. How We Talk About Suicide Matters. Words Matter. How We Talk About Suicide Matters. \| TAPS TAPS Media Using safe messaging when we talk and post about suicide makes a world of difference, reinforces hope, and ultimately, saves lives. ⁣ If you're in emotional distress or a suicide crisis, call/text the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 24/7 at 988 (Veterans press 1)⁣ ⁣ If you are struggling with the loss of a military loved one to suicide, TAPS is here for you. Call us
Video: TAPS Honor Guard Gala Highlights Video: TAPS Honor Guard Gala Highlights Video: 2021 TAPS Honor Guard Gala Highlights TAPS Media The TAPS Honor Guard Gala gives the opportunity to remember the love of our fallen heroes, celebrate their lives and share the stories of the journey military survivors experience with their TAPS family. See highlights of the Gala held on November 16, 2021. The 2022 TAPS Honor Guard Gala is on April 27, 2022. For more information, visit www.taps.org/gala. Select image below to play. honor them
Video: What Music Teaches Us About Coping with Grief Video: What Music Teaches Us About Coping with Grief What Music Teaches Us About Coping with Grief Webinar \| TAPS Institute Joy Berger Even after a loved one dies, love lives on and the bond continues. If there's a person, time, or place you'd like to visit or connect with, what music would take you there? Join Joy Berger in exploring rich entries into our life-stories through music, both literally and metaphorically. This video was recorded and presented by the TAPS Institute for Hope and H