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Saturday Morning Message: Favorite Photos and Introductions Saturday Morning Message: Favorite Photos and Introductions Saturday Morning Message: Favorite Photos and Introductions Carol Lane Good Morning, This week, survivors sent pictures of their loved ones and wrote a bit about the picture, so I thought I would share a picture of my son, Bryon. He was a helicopter crew chief for the Marines. A friend took this picture when they were in the air, and it shows how much he loved what he was doing. I will remember that smile and the excitement in his
Traveling with Wreaths Across America Traveling with Wreaths Across America Traveling with Wreaths Across America Jill Stephenson My only child, Corporal Benjamin Kopp, an Army Ranger, died on July 18, 2009 of wounds he suffered during his third deployment in 2009. In his final wishes, he requested that he be laid to rest at Arlington National Cemetery. This made perfect sense to me, and although I live in Minnesota, I didn’t hesitate to honor his wish. Several months later, people began asking me if I was coming back to Arli
The Honorable Celestial Discharge The Honorable Celestial Discharge The Honorable Celestial Discharge Colleen Betlach New terminology to bring comfort and hope As the holiday season approaches and our thoughts turn to holiday music, miracles, lights, and angelic hosts, I am reminded of a Thanksgiving night that I experienced many years ago while working at a VA Medical Center (VAMC). It was then that I first heard of an Honorable Celestial Discharge. I began my work at a VAMC shortly after my own Honorable Medical Dischar
Hershel Woodrow "Woody" Williams Hershel Woodrow "Woody" Williams Tribute to Hershel Woodrow "Woody" Williams \| TAPS TAPS An American Hero and Friend to Gold Star Families This summer, our community lost a hero who had become a familiar face to surviving military families. Hershel "Woody" Williams was a Marine whose uncommon valor was equaled by his uncommon kindness. A Medal of Honor recipient, his compassion and his peer-based understanding of loss and grief were learned at a young age and only grew during World War II
TAPS Friendsgiving TAPS Friendsgiving TAPS Friendsgiving TAPS As we move further into Fall, we begin ushering in the holiday season and are reminded of the importance of family and community. This Fall, we are creating local, one day events across the country where survivors can connect and acknowledge the bittersweet nature of the holidays and the range of emotions that can come along with them. We call this TAPS Friendsgiving. Together, we will tell the stories of those who left empty seats at the table, and
The Unicorn Song “The Unicorn” Song “The Unicorn” Song \| TAPS Kristi Stolzenberg The Story Behind the TAPS Tradition In nearly any other room, anywhere else in the world, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, with four stars resting on each shoulder, would project effortless confidence — the product of decades of military service that demanded coolness under pressure, being able to read situations quickly and accurately, and always being ready to face challenges. That was not the case when Genera
TAPS Peer Mentor Honors Son by Earning College Degree TAPS Peer Mentor Honors Son by Earning College Degree TAPS Peer Mentor Honors Son by Earning College Degree \| TAPS TAPS After four years and a half years of late-night study sessions, writing research papers, and sitting in lecture halls, Joanne Staral was relieved to finally be able to put on a cap and gown, walk across the stage, and receive her college diploma. But Joanne wasn’t the typical college graduate. She wasn’t a twenty-something entering the real world for the first time. Instead
Book Shelf: “I Wasn’t Ready to Say Goodbye” Book Shelf: “I Wasn’t Ready to Say Goodbye” Book Shelf: “I Wasn’t Ready to Say Goodbye” TAPS By Brook Noel and Pamela D. Blair, Ph.D. Reviewed by TAPS Peer Mentor Karen Connell My family therapist through the VA gave me the book, "I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye: Surviving, Coping and Healing After the Sudden Death of a Loved One.” I really wish I had read this book earlier. Authors Brook Noel and Pamela D. Blair, Ph.D. have both experienced loss and trauma in their lives, and they used the
Loving Two Men at Once Loving Two Men at Once Loving Two Men at Once \| TAPS Heather Gray Blalock I assessed my hair and makeup in the rearview mirror one last time and took a deep breath as we exited the car. The kids had scribbled “Welcome Home” on the back side of a roll of wrapping paper and were taking turns whacking each other with it. In the mad dash for the airport, we had forgotten the American flags we normally bring to homecomings, and I chided myself for not being better prepared. My fiancé was coming ho
Pets and Grief: Can Our Animals Help Us Heal After Loss? Pets and Grief: Can Our Animals Help Us Heal After Loss? Pets and Grief: Can Our Animals Help Us Heal After Loss? \| TAPS Stephanie Frogge When the TAPS Helpline staff has a chance to connect every few days, we share information and updates, and we check in with each other — how are you, how is the week going, how is your family? And we know that family most definitely includes Niki’s 40-pound bulldog mutt who thinks she’s a lap dog, Maggie; my own Luna Cat, who is only sociable when I’m on Zo
Summer Reading List for Kids Summer Reading List for Kids Summer Reading List for Kids Jonathan Kirkendall I was lucky enough to have a mom that loved to read to us as we grew up, so it’s no surprise that when I began as a group leader at Good Grief Camps, I turned to books to help the kids talk about their own grief. Over the years, I come back to many of the same books over and over again. My strong suggestion is that you read them first before reading them out loud to your kids – some of them are very moving! The F
Close In Our Memories, Forever In Our Hearts Close In Our Memories, Forever In Our Hearts Close In Our Memories, Forever In Our Hearts Leila Murray My name is Leila Murray, widow of LCDR Gary E. Murray, Ret. USN. Gary was a 30 year veteran of the U.S. Navy and highly-decorated. He served in Desert Shield, Desert Storm, and other conflicts of war. While serving his Country, he received (5) Navy Commendation Medals, (5) Navy and Marine Corps Achievement Medals, (8) Sea Service Deployment Ribbons, (2) National Defense Service Medals, (3) G
Both Sides Now: A true story of love, loss and bold living Both Sides Now: A true story of love, loss and bold living Both Sides Now: A true story of love, loss and bold living Bevin Landrum Watching our loved one pass away after a long illness is a grueling nightmare that ushers in change in an expected, but still devastating manner. Many TAPS families have endured just this type of heartbreak. In the pages of Nancy Sharp’s book, “Both Sides Now,” they will find a blend of love, humor and reminiscence that begins to unravel the jumbled life we all f
Saturday Morning Message: Online Support Saturday Morning Message: Online Support Saturday Morning Message: Online Support Carol Lane Good morning, This picture comes from the new TAPS website. When you need support, this is the place to look. Everything TAPS has to offer is listed here. Some of the listings are the helpline that is available 24/7 at 800-959-TAPS (8277), upcoming events and resources such as casework or the survivor care team. There are also a variety of programs, including the TAPS Online Community, which links yo
Poppy Field Poppy Field Poppy Field \| TAPS Joan Donaldson When our son, the late SGT Mateo Donaldson was in high school, he and his brother, Carlos, maintained a bee business of 100 hives. The bees pollinated our blooming blueberry bushes, and our sons also rented their hives to a pumpkin farmer. During a family discussion, the lads explained how after the spring flowers and orchards bloomed, a nectar valley limited their bees from finding adequate food. We tossed out various solutions, and after researc
April 28, 2021 April 28, 2021 TAPS Statement for the Record \| TAPS News Advocacy Proprietary Footer April 28, 2021 - TAPS Statement for the Record Before the Committee on Veterans’ Affairs, United States Senate, Hearing on Pending Legislation Presented by Candace Wheeler, TAPS Director of Policy The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) is the national provider of comfort, care, and resources to all those grieving the death of a military loved one. TAPS was founded in 1994 as the 50l(c)(3) non-p
Saturday Morning Message: Words of Comfort Saturday Morning Message: Words of Comfort Saturday Morning Message: Words of Comfort \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, One thing that many survivors think is helpful is a listening ear. That is where our TAPS family is so special. We are just waiting to hear about your loved one and offer you support when you most need it. There are so many ways TAPS can help you as you walk on this grief journey. This picture was taken at the Northeast Regional Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp in New Jer
Very Important Document Very Important Document Very Important Document \| TAPS Diego Rincon Kristi Stolzenberg Ideliz Mora-Cruz This article is available in English and Spanish. (Este artículo está disponible en inglés y español.) FORWARD: PFC Diego Rincon died on foreign soil on March 29, 2003, proudly wearing a U.S. Army uniform, but he was not a U.S. citizen. He was just 5 years old in 1989 when he immigrated to the United States with his older brother and his parents, Jorge and Yolanda. The
Saturday Morning Message: Thoughts on Napping Saturday Morning Message: Thoughts on Napping Saturday Morning Message: Thoughts on Napping \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, Survivors find that sleep can be difficult when grieving. Sometimes taking a nap can be helpful especially when sleep escapes us during the night. Napping is one of the things we naturally do as children, but not as adults. I have found it helpful when I have had a rough night or I need to stay up later than usual, like when I moderate a TAPS online chat. Napping isn’t
Saturday Morning Message: Thanksgiving Favorites Saturday Morning Message: Thanksgiving Favorites Saturday Morning Message: Thanksgiving Favorites \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, This week survivors wrote about their loved one’s favorite foods at Thanksgiving. The opening picture came from Caryn, mother of Nathan, who wrote, “Nathan and his favorite Thanksgiving meal was always one he prepared himself, beginning with this one when he was in middle school. The last Thanksgiving meal I had was the one he cooked with his Dad in 2010.” Enjoy
Living the Legacy: Picture the Fallen Living the Legacy: Picture the Fallen Living the Legacy ~ Picture the Fallen Jessica Dumont-Oatman It has recently occurred to me that we—all of us American citizens—are the legacy of our American soldiers. We owe them our lives—lives that must be lived to their fullest potential. And this is the greatest tribute we could possibly give. ~ Annette Bridges, freelance writer from Texas. A picture is worth a thousand words. That’s all I need to say when someone views the photo of my brother’
Grief Causing Physical Pain? Turns Out, That’s Pretty Normal. Grief Causing Physical Pain? Turns Out, That’s Pretty Normal. Kathleen Ferraro In the weeks after my father died, I was numb. And then one day, about two months later, bam. My neck muscles were so tight I couldn’t turn my head, my stomach churned in ways unrelated to hunger, my jaw was clenched shut, and my limbs were heavy with exhaustion. The physical effects of grief had finally caught up with me. Over the next few years, these physical health issues came in waves — sometimes a heada
Attending Funerals After Loss Attending Funerals After Loss Attending Funerals After Loss Bevin Landrum When our hearts are newly broken and the magnitude of our losses seems insurmountable, it is hard to think beyond the surreal moments of your own hero's memorial service, wake or funeral. Whether your loved one is laid to rest in Arlington National Cemetery or under a tall oak in the family cemetery plot, that location and experience is consuming. You feel as if you will never attend another funeral again. How could you
Saturday Morning Message: Survivors Offer Support to New Survivors Saturday Morning Message: Survivors Offer Support to New Survivors Saturday Morning Message: Survivors Offer Support to New Survivors Carol Lane Good Morning, Survivors talked this week about ways to support those who are new to the path of grief. Some great answers were written and those who replied also shared their feelings about the journey as they continue. Most of them considered having someone to listen as the top priority and I would agree with that as well. There were some other int
Inside the TAPS Good Grief Camp Inside the TAPS Good Grief Camp Inside the TAPS Good Grief Camp Heather Campagna Many people wonder just what takes place within the borders of a TAPS Good Grief Camp…and adult survivors have often said it looks like more fun to be on the kid’s side of our national gathering! Undeniably, the Good Grief Camp involves events that can lighten young hearts, but all of our activities are also specially selected to offer a safe place for each child to “just be” wherever they are in their grief. Tha
A Bittersweet Gift: Finding Comfort in teams4taps A Bittersweet Gift: Finding Comfort in teams4taps A Bittersweet Gift: Finding Comfort in teams4taps \| TAPS Elizabeth Engleman-Hammett U.S. Army Specialist Tyler Brent Hammett It was Super Bowl Sunday, February 2, 2014. My family and I were settled in front of the television watching the game, as we do every Sunday during football season. It wasn’t quite half-time, rather late in the day, so we were a little more than perplexed to hear someone knock on our front door. In th
Healing Through Writing Healing Through Writing Healing Through Writing Artis Henderson When my husband CW2 Miles Henderson was killed in Iraq in November 2006, I felt like I had lost everything. Miles was my best friend, my teammate, the reason I got up every morning. Without him, I couldn't imagine a future. Or any future I wanted to be part of. After months of a grief so blinding I could barely function, I realized with great sadness that my life was still going, even without Miles. I started to understand that
Widow Shares Marine’s Story Widow Shares Marine’s Story Widow Shares Marine’s Story Kim Ruocco Widow Shares Marine’s Story to Save Others From Suicide, Helps Families Left Behind Kim Ruocco regularly relives her darkest days – her husband’s suicide and the downward spiral that led to it – to save other military families from the same heartbreak. Speaking to standing-room-only audiences at the Natick Soldier Systems Center, Ruocco described the chain of events that led to Marine Corps Maj. John Ruocco’s death in Februa
Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Activities Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Activities Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Activities Carol Lane Good Morning, This past week, I attended the 23rd Annual TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp in the D.C. area. TAPS Seminars are a time of reflection and connection as we talk with other survivors who walk this journey with us. It is great to meet others in person who have been a part of the Online Community throughout the year. TAPS has given its website a
A Child's Experience of Trauma A Child's Experience of Trauma A Child's Experience of Trauma Lisa Hudson My son's experience has been unique. Will never knew his father, yet he has experienced the grief of absence, growing up without a father. It surfaced first when he went to first grade and recognized that other boys had dads who went fishing with them, did Cub Scout projects and campouts, let them help around the house, or played football in the backyard. It surfaced again between his sixteenth and seventeenth year,
The Power of the Media and Messaging The Power of the Media and Messaging Kim Ruocco's Story of Hope - TAPS News Kim Ruocco It’s been 11 years since my husband died by suicide. It has been a journey of excruciating pain and devastating loss but it has also been a journey of immense growth and a new understanding of the world around me. Like most suicide survivors I have a burning desire to understand why this happened to my loving husband and a need prevent this from happening to another military family. My first instinct was
Letters from TAPS: From the Peer Mentor Team Letters from TAPS: From the Peer Mentor Team Letters from TAPS: From the Peer Mentor Team Claire Hunter Dear TAPS family, Spring is upon us and soon we will see the trees and flowers begin to blossom. We’ll begin to see signs of new growth everywhere we look, and we will feel a noticeable difference between the seasons of winter and spring. As I approach spring and the concept of new growth, I am immediately reminded of our team of TAPS peer mentors. As members of the TAPS family, m
John Jarecki, Good Grief Camp mentor and TAPS supporter John Jarecki, Good Grief Camp mentor and TAPS supporter John Jarecki, Good Grief Camp mentor and TAPS supporter \| TAPS Lalaine Estella While reading his local paper on Memorial Day weekend in 2010, John Jarecki came across an article about TAPS Good Grief Camp. “There’s a camp for children who lost a loved one in the military?” he thought to himself. He was shocked to realize there was an organization for people just like him. He immediately drove over to the Arlington hotel where the TAPS
Saturday Morning Message: I'm OK. but... Saturday Morning Message: "I'm OK. but..." I'm OK. but... \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good morning, Since tomorrow is Fathers’ Day, the opening picture is of James and his son, Andrew, when the family went on a vacation to New Jersey and played miniature golf and Rally Ball. Although this week’s question is about remembering things our loved ones said, I thought you would enjoy seeing the picture of the these two smiling vacationers. Sometimes the things our loved ones say st
Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Remembrances Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Remembrances Saturday Morning Message: Memorial Day Remembrances \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, The picture came from the article "Out of Tragedy," written by Bonnie Carroll, surviving spouse of Brigadier Gen. Tom Carroll and founder of the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors that describes how this organization came to be. I thought it would be a good article to share in the Memorial Day edition of the Saturday Morning Message. On Memorial Day
6 Things I Wish I Knew as a New Widow 6 Things I Wish I Knew as a New Widow 6 Things I Wish I Knew as a New Widow August Cabrera Beginning the widow walk is a struggle, but there are some basic truths that would have helped me navigate those first few months with maybe a bit more grace and certainly more confidence. Here’s what I’ve learned since then, in hopes of making the start of your grief journey a tiny bit easier. 1. You can’t screw this up. People will judge, you’ll be looked at strangely, and the worst part is that t
Saturday Morning Message: Thoughts on a New Year Saturday Morning Message: Thoughts on a New Year Carol Lane Good Morning, It is a new year and for many people that means making resolutions that involve revising our present pattern of behavior or adding something to it. Before changing things, we need to ask if our lives will benefit from changing our behavior or continuing in the same way. When I ask myself questions like that, I find it most helpful to read or ask what others think to get some new ideas. The latest TAPS Magazine include
Welcome Home Welcome Home Welcome Home Donna Elm Creating a New Family Refuge We are psychologically tethered to those we love. When they die, we are cut loose from those firm moorings, so we feel adrift, disoriented. When people ask how we are doing, the answer is certain: “We are lost.” We lost Mike on October 14, 2011. On a mission in Afghanistan, he never saw the IED buried in the dirt that he was crossing. We were notified the next morning. For the previous ten months, I had been on the edge of m
Seminar: Mountain Mountain Regional Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp Mountain Regional Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp \| TAPS Looking to connect day of event? EVENT APP (ZOOM) ACCESS Health Guidelines for the Seminar: In accordance with the most current information available, as of May 1, 2022, TAPS is lifting the requirement to provide proof of full vaccination to attend in-person events. We will continue to monitor COVID variants and we may adjust protocols to ensure safe and hea
Saturday Morning Message: Learning About Ourselves After Loss Saturday Morning Message: Learning About Ourselves After Loss Learning About Ourselves After Loss \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, The opening photo today comes from the TAPS article, “Family Project: Mom Teaches Kids to File Taxes,” written by Rachael Hill. In the article, Rachael Hill writes about taking the talent she had for filing her family’s annual tax return and teaching her children how to accomplish this task since her husband’s annuity comes in their names.
Run and Remember: A Special Connection Run and Remember: A Special Connection Run and Remember: A Special Connection Bob Derga Lisa Arnold Each year the TAPS Run and Remember Team pairs willing runners with families of the fallen whose loved ones will be commemorated by the run. As our largest running event of the year, the Marine Corps Marathon (MCM) in October fields the most runners and therefore makes the most connections between families and runners. Last year Lisa Arnold, a mother of five young boys, ran the MCM in h
On a Scale of 1 to 10, How Are You Doing? On a Scale of 1 to 10, How Are You Doing? On a Scale of 1 to 10, How Are You Doing? \| TAPS Stewart Farrell A family shares their unique way of checking in on each other. They know they should say something. They know they should ask. They want you to know they care, and yet, they can’t quite find the right words. And so they ask the same old, tired question, “how are you?” You want to answer. You want to tell them how you feel. You want to share with someone the pain you are experiencing
12 Years of Grief 12 Years of Grief 12 Years of Grief \| TAPS Kaitlyn Branson Editor’s note: Today is Children's Grief Awareness Day. Throughout this month, we are featuring stories from surviving children, grief professionals and TAPS staff to draw attention to the needs of grieving children, their experiences and how best to support them. This essay first appeared on the author's Facebook page. As many of you know, I lost my dad 12 years ago. I want to start by saying this post focuses completely on ON
Saturday Morning Message: Holiday Adjustments Saturday Morning Message: Holiday Adjustments Saturday Morning Message: Holiday Adjustments Carol Lane Good Morning, The holiday season officially starts with Halloween, so today's picture is from my yard with the leaves turning color. Many people have a hard time with the holidays that occur in December. Today survivors shared what they have done to help them go through this season. In addition, you might want to read an article written by Darcie D. Sims, Ph.D, CHT, CT, GMS in a past TAPS m
Saturday Morning Message: BBQ, Apple Pie and other Foods that Remind Us of Love Saturday Morning Message: BBQ, Apple Pie and other Foods that Remind Us of Love BBQ, Apple Pie and other Foods that Remind Us of Love \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, Sharing food that our loved ones liked is the topic for today’s Saturday Morning Message, because today is Culinarians’ Day. The opening picture comes from an article in the TAPS archives titled "Love in the Kitchen" written by Rita, mother of James Shawn. She writes that she and her son liked to cook
Saturday Morning Message: Celebrating Our Great Country Saturday Morning Message: Celebrating Our Great Country Celebrating Our Great Country \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Today we are celebrating July 4th by virtually traveling. The opening picture is the front of one of the hotels that housed the TAPS 24th National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp in Arlington, Virginia. In addition to the beautiful flag and flowers, the link shows pictures of the activities that happened at that seminar. We hope you will enjoy
Run to support the TAPS mission Run to support the TAPS mission Run to support the TAPS mission \| TAPS Lalaine Estella Whether you’re a seasoned runner or aspire to run your first 10K race in the fall, now is the time to start planning your training regimen and getting into the runner’s mindset. As spring gets under way, it’s a good time to shift our focus to getting outside to start running and walking more. At TAPS, we’re excited for the fall race season as we continue to make every mile memory in honor of our loved ones
5 Things Professionals Learned After 9/11 5 Things Professionals Learned After 9/11 5 Things Professionals Learned After 9/11 Heidi Horsley Since Sept. 11, 2001, we have come a long way, and I have watched as bereaved families have once again found hope. I was honored to spend 10 years with 9/11 firefighter families, taking the grief journey with them, when I worked with the FDNY/Columbia University Family Guidance Program. The research study looked at traumatic loss over time in families who had lost a firefighter in the World Trad
Memorial Day vs. Veterans Day Memorial Day vs. Veterans Day Memorial Day vs. Veterans Day \| TAPS Rachael Hill Before my husband died, Memorial Day was just another 3 day weekend that we got to celebrate his birthday (May 29th) with a fun adventure. I never really thought about the importance of it and just enjoyed our time together. Since his death however, Memorial Day has taken on a whole new meaning. I am proud to be an Air Force veteran and am proud of the service I gave to our country. I am the first to stand wit
Knowing the Pain Is Not Like Understanding the Pain Knowing the Pain Is Not Like Understanding the Pain Knowing the Pain Is Not Like Understanding the Pain Shanette Booker I have heard it from friends, family members, and other widows who have also heard it: “I know what you are going through and I understand your pain.” I know we all have heard it and if not, then we have heard it this way: “I don’t know what you are going through but I understand your pain.” I find myself always thinking: “you don’t know and you will never understand…and
TAPS Retreats TAPS Retreats Loss Survivors Facing Sudden Loss TAPS A place to relax and heal “I love going to the sibling retreat. I like sharing stories with other siblings; I can connect with them. It helps me deal with my grief and it makes my life easier, to talk about my feelings.” “I cannot tell you how much the widow retreat helped me. I was not sure of what to expect, but left with more than I could ever want. To meet other women like me, to talk with them and hear their stories, might have b
Twenty-Five Years of TAPS Twenty-Five Years of TAPS: A Testament to Love Twenty-Five Years of TAPS: A Testament to Love TAPS TAPS is a love story It's inspiration was love. It continues to be a testament to love. Love given, love received, love shared. It grows and strengthens — spreading its light to the darkest of places. In November 1992, eight soldiers perished in a C-12 crash in Alaska, including Brig. Gen. Thomas C. Carroll, commander of the state’s Army National Guard Gen. Carroll’s widow, Bonnie
Godwinks: We Know Godwinks: We Know Godwinks: We Know \| TAPS Scott Pleasants We Know Is it just a coincidence when I hear your name seven times this week three on the bus four times on the train In the morning dew as moisture touches the pane The early rain writes a few letters at a glance it’s spelling your name Still taking those long walks and afternoon rides Same path along that sidewalk Same route in the street Same conversations Same vibe often hearing you speak When I opened the ne
TAPS Honored as 2017 Top-Rated Nonprofit TAPS Honored as 2017 Top-Rated Nonprofit TAPS Honored as 2017 Top-Rated Nonprofit TAPS TAPS is pleased to announce that it has been honored with a prestigious 2017 Top-Rated Award by GreatNonprofits, the leading provider of user reviews about nonprofit organizations. “We are excited to be named a Top-Rated 2017 Nonproft,” says Bonnie Carroll, TAPS President and Founder. “We are humbled that so many of our survivors and volunteers took time to tell others how the TAPS mission has impacted
March 20, 2018 March 20, 2018 TAPS Statement for the Record \| TAPS News Advocacy Proprietary Footer March 20, 2018 - TAPS Statement for the Record Before the United States House of Representatives, Subcommittee On Economic Opportunity, Committee On Veterans Affairs The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) is the national nonprofit organization providing compassionate care for the families of America’s fallen military heroes. TAPS provides peer-based emotional support, grief and trauma resources
Boxes in the Attic Boxes in the Attic Boxes in the Attic Betsy Beard Sorting, keeping, giving, and storing our loved ones’ personal effects Many of us have been faced with multiple shipments of personal effects from various corners of the world. Others of us are denied any access to the items that might help us feel more connected to our loved ones. Wherever we find ourselves on the scale of ownership of personal effects, the pain is immeasurable and long-lasting. I turned my head slightly as I drove, che
Leaving a Mark on History Leaving a Mark on History Leaving a Mark on History \| TAPS Matt Davison In serving incarcerated veterans, I formed bonds with warriors who took part in wars spanning Korea, Vietnam, and the Gulf War. One vet, who is incarcerated at the Federal Correctional Institution at Terminal Island, California, precedes all these wars and has become a valued friend over the past five years. Because of confidentiality issues, I will not give his complete name, but will refer to him simply as Rene. This is
Friendsgiving 2023 TAPS Friendsgiving for Surviving Military Families Friendsgiving for Surviving Military Families \| TAPS Host a TAPS Friendsgiving SPECIAL NOTE: All of our host spots have been filled for the 2023 TAPS Friendsgiving; however, you can still submit your ideas for hosting survivors at TAPS Togethers in your local community! If you would like to learn more about future opportunities like our TAPS Friendsgiving initiative, email tapstogethers@taps.org and we'll be sure to keep you updated. W
Friendsgiving 2022 TAPS Friendsgiving for Surviving Military Families Friendsgiving for Surviving Military Families \| TAPS SPECIAL NOTE: All of our host spots have been filled for the 2022 TAPS Friendsgiving; however, you can still submit your ideas for hosting survivors at TAPS Togethers in your local community! If you would like to learn more about future opportunities like our TAPS Friendsgiving initiative, email tapstogethers@taps.org and we'll be sure to keep you updated. We are grateful for your will
From Grief to Giving Back: A TAPS Helpline Associate Shares Her Journey From Grief to Giving Back: A TAPS Helpline Associate Shares Her Journey From Grief to Giving Back: A TAPS Helpline Associate Shares Her Journey \| TAPS Kristi Stolzenberg Vanessa Hanna-Verrett There are moments in life when exactly what you need meets you where you are. Some people credit this to a higher power, some give a nod to lucky stars, and others call it chance. Vanessa Hanna-Verrett, a TAPS Helpline associate, doesn’t believe anything happens by chance. Vanessa wasn’t always an associa
Klinger’s Korner: Kids, Grief, and the Holidays Klinger’s Korner: Kids, Grief, and the Holidays Klinger’s Korner: Kids, Grief, and the Holidays \| TAPS Andy McNiel The holiday season is a magical time for children of all ages. It is during this time of year that children and teenagers have an extended break from school. They can be with friends and family in settings and doing activities that they may not be able to do other times of the year. At the same time, when children and teenagers are grieving, the holidays can be challenging as the
Spotlight on Service: Casey Callanan Spotlight on Service: Casey Callanan Spotlight on Service: Casey Callanan TAPS It was a week after the conclusion of the 18th Annual TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp when we received an email that read, “My name is Casey Callanan, and I live in Arlington, Virginia. I applied to be a volunteer earlier this week and completed the training online. I was hoping I could get some information on what the next step in the process might be, so I can be involved in some of
Saturday Morning Message: Honoring Our Loved Ones Saturday Morning Message: Honoring Our Loved Ones Saturday Morning Message: Honoring Our Loved Ones Carol Lane Good Morning, This is a time many come together with friends and family to share holiday recipes and memories. For many survivors, it can also be a time of sadness. Contemplating what you might do to pay tribute to your loved one might can ease those feelings. Honoring your loved one can be on a traditional holiday or one that is special just to your family and friends. This week s
A Change of Season A Change of Season A Change of Season Darcie Sims Learning to Keep our Loved Ones’ Memories Alive in Every Season It’s harvest time, clean up time, gathering time. It’s time to put away the beach balls and the lawn mower. It’s time to shake the sand from the shoes and store away the croquet set and find the storm windows. It’s time to “put up” the garden’s bounty and find someone who doesn’t have enough zucchini. It’s time to find the mittens and try on the sweaters and coats. It’s time to g
Is Suicide a Choice? Is Suicide a Choice? Military Widow Kim Ruocco on Spousal Suicide - TAPS News Kim Ruocco The National Veterans Crisis Line (800-273-8255) is available 24/7 to TAPS survivors. It is confidential and can connect you with local resources. The TAPS helpline (800-959-8277) is available for peer-based grief support. There are so many questions following a death by suicide. How could this happen? Why did this happen? Why didn’t I see it? Why didn’t I do something? Why didn’t the military do more?
Saturday Morning Message: Handling the Holidays Saturday Morning Message: Handling the Holidays Saturday Morning Message: Handling the Holidays Carol Lane Good Morning, The flickering light of candles in a darkened room always has a calming effect on me. I appreciate the soothing nature of their gentle glow during the shorter days of the holiday season. Listening to peaceful music can also be helpful. This week’s song sent in by Merry, mother of Wesley, will be perfect for those times when my mind is jumping from one thing to another, whi
Saturday Morning Message: An Ornament For Your Loved One Saturday Morning Message: An Ornament For Your Loved One Saturday Morning Message: An Ornament For Your Loved One \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, This week survivors sent answers to the question about making an ornament for their loved one. In addition to the unique responses, Samantha, fiance of Preston, sent this picture of her Christmas tree that I thought would make a great lead picture for this week’s message. Samantha wrote, “Christmas was my favorite holiday and I went all ou
Winter Wallowing Winter Wallowing Winter Wallowing Darcie Sims Though winter seems to have more than its share of less than wondrous days, occasionally we have an especially down day. Some days aren't too bad. They start out kind of slowly, like a reluctant first grader, but gather momentum as the hours flow by. Some days get a jump-start on me. By the time I hit the shower, I'm functioning without feeling, so much like those early foggy days of grief. Those are the days when hot cocoa and a bowl of st
Volunteer Spotlight: Surviving Military Parents Advocate for Fellow Survivors Volunteer Spotlight: Surviving Military Parents Advocate for Fellow Survivors Surviving Military Parents Advocate for Fellow Survivors \| TAPS TAPS For three and a half years, the Chicagoland community has had Andy and Julianne Weiss holding the tender hands of those in grief. Together, they facilitate the Chicago-area TAPS Care Group, a monthly support group for those who know the loss of someone who has served in the military. The couple are Peer Mentors and have trained in ASIST, Applied
Children’s Books for the Summer Children’s Books for the Summer Children’s Books for the Summer Cheryl Kreutter By and large, the books reviewed here describe how empathy (an emotion) prompts compassion (an action). Each will appeal in different ways to different readers at different times. Characters are identifiable and real, and illustrations appropriately support the story, theme or concept. Most importantly, these are books that invite readers to discuss their own thoughts and feelings about loss as well as consider wa
Make the Most of Time at Home: Share Your Loved One’s Story Make the Most of Time at Home: Share Your Loved One’s Story Make the Most of Time at Home: Share Your Loved One’s Story \| TAPS Kerry Ward As we navigate these uncertain times, I have found that there is a silver lining with spending more time in the house: it has forced me to focus on projects I hadn’t yet had time to tackle. As I cleaned out my hall closet, I found myself face-to-face with memories I hadn’t thought about in years. I called an old friend and told her about a specific photo th
Audio: Reading of Klinger Reading of Klinger, A Story of Honor and Hope Reading of Klinger, A Story of Honor and Hope 850 AM News Radio On-air radio personality Mike Rosen reads "Klinger: A Story of Honor and Hope" for his listeners and shares the mission of TAPS to help the families of our fallen troops. This award-winning children's book was published by TAPS. Listen to Audio Your browser does not support the audio element. Order the Book Suicide, Military, Lipstein Reading of Klinger, A Story of Honor and Hop
So You Think You’re Going Crazy? So You Think You’re Going Crazy? So You Think You’re Going Crazy? Darcie Sims I first began to think about going crazy shortly after our son died. It seemed innocent enough in the beginning. Just an occasional sound that came from his bedroom or a whiff of his scent that would catch me by surprise. I didn’t think much of it. In fact, I rather enjoyed those little reminders of him. But after sharing my first encounter with him with a neighbor, I knew the rest of the world would think me daft.
Finding My Whole Self in the Brokenness Finding My Whole Self in the Brokenness Rebuilding Mosul: Continuing our Fallen Heroes' Legacy of Service \| TAPS Erin Jacobson mosul, fallen heroes Finding My Whole Self in the Brokenness 2017 TAPS In Mosel Author - Jacobson In my own life and in the lives of the families that I have met through TAPS, I see a similar thing. I see new beauty rebuilt out of ruins.
Book Shelf: Surviving the Holidays Without You: Navigating Grief During Special Seasons Book Shelf: Surviving the Holidays Without You: Navigating Grief During Special Seasons Book Shelf: Surviving the Holidays Without You: Navigating Grief During Special Seasons Kelly Griffith After my brother died in December 2011, I didn’t know what to do when I woke up on Christmas morning. His death was still real. I didn’t want to have Christmas without him. So, I didn’t. The second Christmas without Sam physically here, I wanted to find a way to honor his life and still feel him near me.
Finding Hope Finding Hope Finding Hope \| TAPS Audri Beugelsdijk Rolling into a new year tends to stir a heart to contemplate new beginnings. We consider all the history of our past and ponder what lay ahead. The last couple years have certainly been a difficult challenge for us all and we look forward to better times. Before we move on too quickly, it's important to consider one lesson isolation has taught us - we need each other. The TAPS family has always said “we are stronger together” and it is true.
Surviving family creates bucket list for sick dog Surviving family creates bucket list for sick dog Surviving family creates bucket list for sick dog \| TAPS Lalaine Estella Earl has become an online global sensation! This week, he reached the kind of fame that can only be described as viral when he was the star of a heartwarming video that’s been viewed more than 4 million times. His story has been featured in newscasts coast to coast and it’s fair to say America has fallen in love with Earl. Behind the cute pup’s rise from sickl
Saturday Morning Message: The Care of Our Loved Ones' Belongings Saturday Morning Message: The Care of Our Loved Ones' Belongings Saturday Morning Message: The Care of Our Loved Ones' Carol Lane Good Morning, Mother's Day is tomorrow, and it can be difficult for many. If support is needed, keep the TAPS Survivor Helpline number, 800-959-TAPS (8277), handy. This week Caryn, mother of Nathan, sent a song that brings her some relief. You will find it in the Song for the Week section of this message. Last week's question was about how we care for our lov
Saturday Morning Message: Changing Anger to Pride Saturday Morning Message: Changing Anger to Pride Saturday Morning Message: Changing Anger to Pride Carol Lane Good Morning, Last week's question asked how to turn the anger that comes with grief into more of a focus on the pride for our loved one's service. This is a tricky question as it asks us to focus on ourselves, and that is something many of us are not taught to do. First, we must find strategies to help reduce the anger. This is where looking in the TAPS Magazine archives can be hel
Talking to Children About Suicide Talking to Children About Suicide Talking to Children About Suicide Kim Ruocco One of the most challenging issues following a death by suicide is what and how to tell children. Widespread inaccurate information compounds this already challenging issue for those caring for grieving children. When a loved one dies by suicide, it could take some time to trust your instincts and follow your heart again, so credible information and trustworthy guidance is critical. Children are egocentric, me
Forest Bathing: Why Soaking In Nature Can Improve Your Health Forest Bathing: Why Soaking In Nature Can Improve Your Health Forest Bathing: Why Soaking In Nature Can Improve Your Health \| TAPS Emily Munoz Forest bathing. Yes. You read that right. Forest bathing. For an easy, self-paced mindfulness exercise, we invite you to try forest bathing. I first heard about this Japanese mindfulness practice from my mother, Anna. She was attending one of our TAPS Inner Warrior Wellness Weekends when we posed a question to the group: How do you find quiet time? W
Run and Remember: A Win-Win Outcome Run and Remember: A Win-Win Outcome Run and Remember: A Win-Win Outcome Betsy Beard When I first came to TAPS in 2004, I just assumed that somehow the military or the government was paying for the services and resources that were made available to me at the time: the national toll free helpline, the Peer Support Network, a free lifetime subscription to TAPS Magazine, the interactive TAPS website, the online chats, and the national seminar with all its speakers and materials and bus transporta
The New Christmas The New Christmas The New Christmas Rachael Hill The other day I was asked if this time of year is hard for me. I felt a little guilty saying it, but in general it really isn’t. I still enjoy this time of year and cherish the Christmas activities and traditions that I do with my boys. Now don’t get me wrong, I desperately miss my husband and at Christmas time especially, but instead of letting myself drown in despair because he is not here I choose to continue to keep our traditions alive a
May 5, 2021 May 5, 2021 TAPS Statement for the Record \| TAPS News Advocacy Proprietary Footer May 5, 2021 - TAPS Statement for the Record Before the Committee on Veterans’ Affairs, United States House of Representatives, Full Committee Legislative Hearing The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) is the national provider of comfort, care, and resources to all those grieving the death of a military loved one. TAPS was founded in 1994 as the 50l(c)(3) non-profit organization to provide 24/7 care
Grief Returns When the Nest Empties Grief Returns When the Nest Empties Grief Returns When the Nest Empties \| TAPS Sarah Greene Over the years, you have worked hard to raise your survivor kids to the best of your ability. Their grieving hearts need extra care and you have frequently put your own grief to the side while doing the job of both parents. You have been so busy with the demands of life and kids that you barely noticed what you needed along the way. In the mix of coping with loss, raising kids, running the househol
Saturday Morning Message: Grief Meltdowns Saturday Morning Message: Grief Meltdowns Saturday Morning Message: Grief Meltdowns Carol Lane Good Morning, Grief episodes or meltdowns are times that are hard to control. Sometimes they arrive when you are at places or at times when you don't expect them. Sarah, spouse of David wrote: "I was walking my dog this morning and thinking about a recent grief episode I had. It was at my son's college vet affairs office of all places! It got me to thinking about the many places where these bouts o
Military Survivor Helps Fellow Ex-Spouses Navigate Unique Grief Military Survivor Helps Fellow Ex-Spouses Navigate Unique Grief Military Survivor Helps Fellow Ex-Spouses Navigate Unique Grief \| TAPS TAPS If there’s one thing Tracye Hernandez-Bynum has learned in the past 11 years, it’s that no one’s grief is irrelevant. Tracye’s ex-husband, Army Staff Sgt. Robert Hernandez, was killed in action in 2006. Tracye and Robert have a son together, who was 11 when his father died. The grief Tracye felt over the loss of her ex-husband was palpable, but others ar
Grieving in the Closet Grieving in the Closet Grieving in the Closet \| TAPS Chandler Keeling When I lost my dad to suicide in 2009, I was in the 8th grade and just beginning to discover myself. My dad went on two tours to Iraq and I spent those awkward adolescent years relentlessly bullied for being “different” and too feminine for a boy. My memories from that time are a slide show of moments trying desperately to fit in while simultaneously missing my dad, the one who would load my iPod with any music I wanted wit
Seminar: National 23rd Annual National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp 23rd National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp Eastern You are warmly invited and encouraged to attend the 23rd Annual TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp. Each Memorial Day, our country remembers those who have served and died. As our country reflects on the costs of freedom, we come together to tell the stories of patriots. We name our heroes, celebrate their lives and decide again to li
Giving Back and Paying it Forward Giving Back and Paying it Forward Giving Back and Paying it Forward \| TAPS TAPS TAPS relies on the generosity of its supporters to fund the critical resources, programs, and services vital to the healing of those who have lost a military loved one. The TAPS mission is a 24/7 effort, and the TAPS Development Team strives to accomplish two goals: (1) share the TAPS mission of hope and healing, and (2) raise funds necessary to support our military survivors. The COVID-19 pandemic struck in 202
Carry the Load in Honor of our Nation's Fallen Heroes Carry the Load in Honor of our Nation's Fallen Heroes Carry the Load in Honor of our Nation's Fallen Heroes \| TAPS TAPS “It has been an honor to walk with so many gold star families this year on our national relay. To carry their loved ones and share their stories is what makes partnering with TAPS so impactful. We magnify our missions.” ~ Debbie Wright, Executive Director of Carry The Load Phoenix, Arizona Carry The Load’s mission to restore the true meaning of Memorial Day wa
5 Things to Pack for the Grief Journey 5 Things to Pack for the Grief Journey 5 Things to Pack for the Grief Journey Erin Jacobson Whenever we travel to a new location, there are elements of both uncertainty and promise. We try to pack our bags in anticipation of planned activities, weather and terrain. The grief journey takes us to unknown places, and while we don't know all that we will encounter, we can be mindful to pack some things to help us on the journey ahead. Self-care: We pack our toiletries to help us take care of
Movie Review: "Thank You For Your Service" May Be Triggering and Emotional for Military Survivors Movie Review: "Thank You For Your Service" May Be Triggering and Emotional for Military Survivors "Thank You For Your Service" May Be Triggering and Emotional for Military Survivors TAPS TAPS appreciates those who seek to tell the story of military families, from the impact of combat service for the veteran to the broader impact on families bereaved by a military death. We strive to incorporate a trauma-informed approach to care for our military families who have suffered a loss. Recent
Donate your Vehicle for TAPS Donate your Vehicle for TAPS Donate Vehicle Main Content Area Vehicle Donation Form Donate your Vehicle for TAPS donate my car, Capital Auto Turn your vehicle into a resource that helps our military survivors. The process is easy and we provide free and convenient pick-up.
Carry the Load Carry the Load Carry the Load Marie Campbell Reminding Americans About the Real Meaning of Memorial Day As a survivor, it was an honor to participate in the Carry the Load national relay as it went through Washington, D.C. as we made our journey from the Lincoln Memorial into Arlington National Cemetery honoring America's fallen heroes. I was in the company of other military surviving families, battle buddies, and a few wonderful supporters of TAPS. Participants carried items of special mea
27 Memories for 27 Years That Linger Bringing Joy to my Life 27 Memories for 27 Years That Linger Bringing Joy to my Life 27 Memories for 27 Years That Linger Bringing Joy to my Life Linda Ambard Eloping to Reno, NV on November 27, 1988, three days after Thanksgiving. Phil was upset Thanksgiving because of how my father was treating me (I was the first person EVER to get divorced in our family—total ostracization.) Phil didn’t care how people treated him, but it bothered him if people messed with me. As we drove back to Mountain Home Air Force Base
Finding My Winter Wellness Finding My Winter Wellness Finding My Winter Wellness \| TAPS Rayanne Hunter I love that feeling of fall shifting into winter! Cool mornings, crisp days, winter hats, scarves, and soon, snowboarding. The world is growing quiet and shimmering all over. Inviting us to move inward — to find that which makes us warm and cozy. Being from Colorado, the beautiful frost and snow encompassing everything is something that I enjoy. I know there also comes a shadowy side to the winter season, especially
Saturday Morning Message: Memories Saturday Morning Message: Memories Saturday Morning Message: Memories Carol Lane Good Morning, This week's message is laid out a bit differently. Since the picture this week is a picture Sue, mother of Marcus, sent in response to last week's question about sharing a memory of our loved ones, I thought it would be good to include her memory in the first part of the message. Here is her memory: "Oct. 25, 2007, started out like a normal Christmas day for our family. WHAT? Christmas in Oct
Gifts of Grief: Tools to Help You Through Gifts of Grief: Tools to Help You Through Gifts of Grief: Tools to Help You Through \| TAPS James Gordon Grief is part of being human. Sooner or later, it makes its appearance in our lives, no matter how unwanted it is. Attending the National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar, I was struck even more by how important it is for us to honor the process of grief. We have to see it as a part of life and let it take its course. There are no shortcuts; there’s no getting around it. But, there are gi
Saturday Morning Message: Honoring Birthdays Saturday Morning Message: Honoring Birthdays Saturday Morning Message: Honoring Birthdays \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, Awhile back there was a discussion with a TAPS group about celebrating our loved one’s birthday and I thought it would be a good question for this weekly message. The responses this week came from those who answered that question. The quote at the beginning really speaks to our feelings about keeping our loved one’s memory alive. Sometimes after reading the Saturday Mo
March 29, 2022 - Senate March 29, 2022 TAPS Statement for the Record: Senate \| TAPS News Advocacy Proprietary Footer March 29, 2022 - TAPS Statement for the Record Before the Committee On Veterans' Affairs United States Senate; Honoring Our Promise to Address Comprehensive Toxics Act of 2021 View the Full Hearing The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) is the national provider of comfort, care, and resources to all those grieving the death of a military loved one. TAPS was founded in 1994 as a 501(c)(3
Normal Isn’t Normal Anymore Normal Isn’t Normal Anymore Normal Isn’t Normal Anymore Betsy Beard I used to believe, along with author Patsy Clairmont who wrote a humorous book of the same title, that Normal Is Just a Setting on Your Dryer. But it seems like so much more to me, now. When our son died, "normal" flew out the window and hasn't returned. And because of its departure, leaving confusion, chaos, and disarray in its wake, the concept of normal seems far more important now than just a setting on the dryer. And not
Colorado Celebrity Classic to Benefit TAPS – a model for getting ‘er done! Colorado Celebrity Classic – a model for getting ‘er done! Colorado Celebrity Classic – a model for getting ‘er done! Christine Burtt Sgt. Nick Pansini served five tours as a U.S. Marine, two in Iraq. His sisters Angel and Shannon and dad Joe Pansini told the story of his suicide in 2010 at the Saluting our Fallen Heroes Dinner Concert, and the reason for TAPS became crystal clear: We care! Now it its 11th year, the Colorado Celebrity Classic to benefit TAPS has become a model for hosting
Resource Center: TAPS National Military Survivor Helpline and Website Live Chat Resource Center: TAPS National Military Survivor Helpline and Website Live Chat Resource Center: TAPS National Military Survivor Helpline and Website Live Chat Kyle Balduf We all remember that day—the day the world stopped for us. We remember the knock on the door, the phone call, the person on the other end fumbling for the words to explain that life had changed forever. After the initial waves of shock rolled over us, we began to thaw, so to speak, and became acquainted with the nature of g
Mother and Son, A Life and Legacy Together Mother and Son, A Life and Legacy Together Mother and Son, A Life and Legacy Together Lisa Hudson Reflections of a 26 year journey In October 1983, Navy Lieutenant John Hudson was packing to return from a deployment to Beirut, Lebanon, where he was serving as a medical officer and surgeon to 1,800 Marines. Waiting at home was Lisa, his wife of three years, and their 8-month-old son Will. Lisa adored John and felt she was living in a fairy tale. John, a graduate of the Medical College of
PGA Tour Superstore Brings TAPS Families Together PGA Tour Superstore Brings TAPS Families Together PGA Tour Superstore Brings TAPS Families Together \| TAPS TAPS Survivors Share Past and Present Memories at Special Golf Experiences In honor of Military Appreciation Month, teams4taps and the PGA TOUR Superstore joined forces to create events for survivors to honor their military loved ones through their favorite sport— golf! Survivors attended a wide range of events all across the country, where they attended PGA tournaments, got fit for new
Stronger than she thought she could be: A widow looks back Stronger than she thought she could be: A widow looks back Stronger than she thought she could be: A widow looks back \| TAPS TAPS Each Friday, please visit our blog and join us as we take a look back at stories, people and events that have shaped who we are today. We are a family of survivors honoring our selfless heroes who paid the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom. We are grieving parents, spouses, children, siblings, grandparents, fiancées, battle buddies and loved ones. We are hope. We
Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Proud Memories Of Our Loved Ones Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Proud Memories Of Our Loved Ones Sharing Proud Memories Of Our Loved Ones \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, Sharing memories of our loved ones with others helps us heal. In this week’s message, survivors have shared occasions that bring pride into their lives when they think of their loved ones. Each event helps us create a mental picture of that special person. If you would like to send a note commenting on one or all of the respo
Spotlight on Service: Mardee McDaniel Spotlight on Service: Mardee McDaniel Spotlight on Service: Mardee McDaniel TAPS What motivates someone to volunteer for TAPS year after year? The reasons are different for each individual, but often it all comes back to the people we serve. It’s the number one reason for many of our volunteers. One such volunteer, who has been coming back for 14 years, is Mardee McDaniel: California native, ex-software programmer, and mother of two sons, 18-year-old Matt and 15-year-old Ryan. Mardee first
Klinger's Korner: A Season for Presence Klinger's Korner: A Season for Presence Klinger's Korner: A Season for Presence \| TAPS Andy McNiel The holiday season brings families and friends together, creating opportunities to make and share special memories and create or carry on traditions. But, in the midst of intense grief, the holidays can feel like a burden rather than a blessed time with family and friends. When children are in the home, you may feel the need to maintain positive, festive energy so they can still enjoy this speci
Photos: Colorado Celebrity Classic Colorado Celebrity Classic Colorado Celebrity Classic TAPS Media TAPS Fundraiser, Golf, Songwriters Show Colorado Celebrity Classic Photos Event Photos and Story of 2021 Colorado Celebrity Classic by Pam Cress
Photos: Colorado Celebrity Classic Colorado Celebrity Classic Colorado Celebrity Classic TAPS Media TAPS Fundraiser, Golf, Songwriters Show Colorado Celebrity Classic Photos Event Photos and Story of 2018 Colorado Celebrity Classic by Lisa Perry
Video: A Man For Others: The Erik Kristensen Story Video: A Man For Others: The Erik Kristensen Story A Man For Others: The Erik Kristensen Story CBS Sports A SEAL in Birkenstocks teams4taps and CBS Sports paid tribute to United States Naval Academy graduate and fallen U.S. Navy SEAL, LCDR Erik S. Kristensen (Class of '96), and honored his parents at the October 7, 2017 Navy vs. Air Force game. LCDR Erik S. Kristensen, teams4taps, honor the fallen A Man For Others: The Erik Kristensen Story Video Container Main Content 2 teams4taps and CBS
Video: Duty, Honor, Country: The Chase Prasnicki Story Video: Duty, Honor, Country: The Chase Prasnicki Story Duty, Honor, Country: The Chase Prasnicki Story CBS Sports Chase the legacy! CBS Sports helped teams4taps honor the life and legacy of Army Black Knights quarterback and fallen U.S. Army Ranger, 1LT Chase Prasnicki (Class of '10), at the September 9, 2017 Army vs. University of Buffalo game. 1LT Chase Prasnicki, teams4taps, honor the fallen Duty, Honor, Country: The Chase Prasnicki Story Video Container Prasnicki Main Content 2nd Half
Klinger: A Story of Honor and Hope Klinger: A Story of Honor and Hope Klinger: A Story of Honor and Hope - TAPS Publication Betsy Beard This beautifully illustrated, full color, hardback children's book tells the story of a young horse dreaming of fame as a racehorse. But his life is disrupted when he must leave his parents and start a new life. Faced with difficulty and disappointment, Klinger’s dream of significance seems unattainable. He then discovers that fame is not necessary, as he finds fulfillment in honor
Online Group: Peer Mentor - Story Telling - March 12 Online Group: Peer Mentor Development TAPS Military Survivor Online Development for Peer Mentors 12:00 PM-1:30 PM & 6:00 PM-7:30 PM Eastern 73755 For Trained TAPS Peer Mentors Only taps peer mentor development, military survivor Online - Peer Mentor Development - Grief Narrative Narrative Theory: Re-Authoring and Owning YOUR Grief Story \| 12 p.m. & 6 p.m. Eastern
U.S. Air Force Captain Nathaniel Lee Named 2020 Recipient of the Senator Ted Stevens Leadership Award U.S. Air Force Captain Nathaniel Lee Named 2020 Recipient of the Senator Ted Stevens Leadership Award \| TAPS Press Release Press Release Content taps press release, gold star families,, peer support, ted stevens award, military families Legacy Mentor can say “My Dad Died, Too” as He Helps Grieving Military Kids
Facing It All: A Winding Road Toward Healing Facing It All: A Winding Road Toward Healing Facing It All: A Winding Road Toward Healing \| TAPS April Bowden Kristi Stolzenberg “I’m an open book,” Gold Star Spouse April Bowden shares during our introductory phone call. “Truth opens the doors to healing.” April speaks about her life, her loss, and her purpose with a realness, a rawness that both takes you by surprise and is incredibly relatable once her contagious sense of self-awareness forces us to take a look at ourselves and confront t
Like Widows Long Ago Like Widows Long Ago Colleen Reynolds, Surviving Spouse of Marine Corps Veteran Paul E. Reynolds Jr. I want to drape myself in black like widows long ago, to walk alone in somber dress so acquaintances will know my sorrow and my hurt, my injury inside, why I stood in church on Sunday and amid the singing, cried. I want to drape myself in black as in times gone by, to hide my face behind a veil so no one will wonder why I say goodnight so early with words few and low And move as if encum
New Relationships and Dating After Loss New Relationships and Dating After Loss New Relationships and Dating After Loss Amanda McPherson If you are reading this, you may have been fortunate to have found that special someone, only to have them taken from you too soon. I will not claim to understand your pain. You will forever be shaped by the experiences you shared with your lost loved one as well as your journey of healing. As I'm sure I don't need to tell you, there isn't one authority for handling grief or a how-to guide for hea
Spotlight on Service: Daniel Davenport Spotlight on Service: Daniel Davenport Spotlight on Service: Daniel Davenport Paige Williams Life Beyond the Seminar: Through the Lens of a Good Grief Camp Mentor Daniel Davenport woke up one morning in April and sent a text message; a simple enough task, one that many of us do so often we think nothing of it. But for one TAPS family, this text message was so much more. Because on the anniversary of her father’s death, a child knew she was in the thoughts and prayers of her mentor. And that
Klinger’s Korner: Understanding Your Child’s Unique Way of Being in the World Klinger’s Korner: Understanding Your Child’s Unique Way of Being in the World Klinger’s Korner: Understanding Your Child’s Unique Way of Being in the World \| TAPS Andy McNiel How can three children grow up in the same household and be so entirely different? Many factors play a role in shaping who a child is, how they develop, and the person they become. Some of these factors include their genetics (the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree), their birth order, household circumstances duri
Bocce, Good Food, and Bright Futures Bocce, Good Food, and Bright Futures Bocce, Good Food, and Bright Futures \| TAPS Kristi Stolzenberg What could bocce and the Culinary Institute of America possibly have in common with TAPS? As it turns out, a couple of things: the Michael C. Cerullo Memorial Veteran Scholarship, which is awarded to a deserving TAPS survivor on the road to culinary greatness, and the annual bocce tournament that funds it, hosted by Michael’s surviving son, Paul. Summer 2023 Michael’s son,
National Suicide Prevention Month: TAPS Support and Resources National Suicide Prevention Month: TAPS Support and Resources National Suicide Prevention Month: Support and Resources \| TAPS Carla Stumpf Patton Each September we recognize Suicide Prevention Month, and while every day of the year is an opportunity for awareness, this time of the year specifically we emphasize education and sharing life-saving resources on all issues related to suicide—also referred to as prevention, intervention, and postvention. For those who are suicide loss survivors
Saturday Morning Message: Our Loved Ones in Book Titles Saturday Morning Message: Our Loved Ones in Book Titles Our Loved Ones in Book Titles \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning This topic introduces our loved ones in a unique way. Thinking of a book title and then writing a little bit about why that title was chosen gives the readers an idea of the lives these special people lived. Each paragraph gives us a window to view those who will always be so close to our fellow survivors. As you read through the responses, you
Bonds of Friendship Nurture Healing Bonds of Friendship Nurture Healing Bonds of Friendship Nurture Healing Jonathan Kirkendall After months of preparation, phone calls and staff meetings, staff and volunteers flew in from every corner of the country for the final push to make ready for the 22nd Annual National Good Grief Camp. In one day, we were operational and ready to welcome the almost 1000 children, mentors and volunteers showing up for the Good Grief Camp in Arlington, Virginia. However, before the campers arrived, ou
Grief 101: Advice to New TAPS Survivors Grief 101: Advice to New TAPS Survivors Grief 101: Advice to New TAPS Survivors TAPS The Saturday Message is a letter that comes through email to TAPS parents, spouses, siblings, and friends. It includes thoughts from the survivors themselves. When one asks a question, the others are free to respond. Asked recently what advice they would give to a newly bereaved person, TAPS survivors responded with powerful and diverse answers. DEB BONN Surviving mother of Ensign Elizabeth Bonn This will
Uncharted Territory Uncharted Territory Uncharted Territory Angelia Brinneman Dating after Loss With the coming of the holiday season, do widows and widowers feel more alone? I know I always do. Parties, get-togethers, and holiday celebrations seem to bring out couples everywhere, but I am still alone. We are expected to be cheerful… and even happy to meet our friends’ and siblings’ new significant others, but all it does is make us feel more alone. Nobody really understands why we aren’t joyful during the holi
Love Is Never Forgotten: Dealing With Trauma Re-Triggered by Current Events Love Is Never Forgotten: Dealing With Trauma Re-Triggered by Current Events Love Is Never Forgotten: Dealing With Trauma Re-Triggered by Current Events \| TAPS Briana Hobbs My dad embarked on a journey to fight for Afghan freedom in 2004. Journey best describes anything my dad did. He didn’t just do things– he embodied them. In everything he did, he was all in. As a unique renaissance man, he had a charisma that drew people in and made them fall in love. He was a creative weirdo, philosoph
Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Fond Sports Memories Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Fond Sports Memories Sharing Fond Sports Memories \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, Watching sporting events is something that many families like to do together. For football fans, this is an especially big weekend because of the Super Bowl. Barbara, mother of Brian sent the opening photo showing their family when they went to a football game featuring their favorite NFL team. You will read more about this special memory in the respons
Saturday Morning Message: Looking Back on Fond Memories Saturday Morning Message: Looking Back on Fond Memories Looking Back on Fond Memories \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good morning, Good morning, Connecting with other survivors and sharing stories of our loved ones is one of the best parts of TAPS. With the recent restrictions around COVID-19, we have had to do things differently this year, but we can still do it. The National Seminar went online and there were many survivors attending care groups and workshops. You can
April 26 2023 April 26, 2023 TAPS Statement for the Record \| TAPS News Advocacy Proprietary Footer April 26, 2023 - TAPS Statement for the Record Before the Committees On Veterans' Affairs United States Senate Presented by Ashlynne Haycock-Lohmann, Deputy Director, Government and Legislative Affairs Topics in this Statement: Love Lives On Act of 2023 Caring for Survivors Act of 2023 (S.414)) Fry Scholarship Enhancement Act of 2023 (S.350) Guard VA Benefits Act (S.740) The GI Bill Foreign Institutio
Saturday Morning Message: New Traditions Saturday Morning Message: New Traditions Saturday Morning Message: New Traditions Carol Lane Good Morning, The picture this morning is of an arrangement made by my sister-in-law to celebrate the season. I light it every night during the holidays to honor the life of my son, Bryon. When a loved one dies, it can be hard to face the upcoming time and keep the same traditions. To simplify your life, think about the customs you would like to keep and ones you could let go just for this year. You
Moments…Just Moments Moments…Just Moments Moments…Just Moments Darcie Sims Have you ever had a moment? You know, a moment when time stood still and everything was as it should be—right and good and whole and wonderful. A moment when you were in the right place at the right time and life was good. Did you ever have a moment like that? Did you ever have a moment when the sun danced across the windowpane and made a rainbow through the glass? Or the breeze caught the fragrance of roses and sent it drifting past
December 8, 2020 December 8, 2020 TAPS Statement for the Record \| TAPS News Advocacy Proprietary Footer December 8, 2020 - TAPS Statement for the Record Before the Committee on Veterans’ Affairs, United States House of Representatives The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) is the leading national nonprofit organization providing comfort, care and resources to all those grieving the death of a military loved one. TAPS provides comfort and hope 24/7 through a national peer support network and con
A Tribute to My Mom on Mother’s Day A Tribute to My Mom on Mother’s Day A Tribute to My Mom on Mother’s Day \| TAPS Cameron Bowman Mothers are the most important people in an individual's life. They greatly impact their daughters' existence. I can say this with confidence, as my own mother has done just that. Mothers day is a dedicated 24 hours of celebration honoring the mother of a family, as well as motherhood itself and the influence of all mothers in society. In my opinion, there is not enough time to thank every mother in
My Dad, My Hero My Dad, My Hero My Dad, My Hero Gabrielle Herman Author, Eckhart Tolle, writes of the search for wholeness, a sense of lack or incompleteness, of not being whole, in which we strive after possessions, money, success, power, recognition, or a special relationship to feel better about ourselves and to feel complete. Only to realize, after attaining all these things, we find the hole is still there, that it is bottomless. He believes the secret of life is to "die before you die" - and find that
Boston Strong Boston Strong Boston Strong Linda Ambard As I was running the Boston Marathon, I was the cheerful girl zipping through the marathon with a swish of her red polka dotted skirt and a huge smile on her face. I ribbed the Army people working the course with my call out, "Air Power." Yes, I really was there and I really felt like I was seizing my life back. The Boston Marathon became the metaphor for my life. I focused on running with purpose and joy up Heartbreak Hill never once imagining the hor
Healing After Suicide Healing After Suicide Healing After Suicide Carla Stumpf Patton For those of us who have lost and mourn a loved one after a suicide, we all are tragically familiar with the, almost universal, feelings associated with suicide-related grief: the if onlys, the would haves, the could haves, the should haves, and of course, the endless, echoing, and unanswerable questions of “WHY…?” In the beginning, these thoughts and feelings can feel all consuming, and we wonder how and when we will ever sur
Give Yourself the Gift of Memory Give Yourself the Gift of Memory Give Yourself the Gift of Memory Bob Baugher "How long has it been?" Bereaved people are often asked this question. I ask it of you. How long has it been? Now answer this question. How long does it feel like it's been? A common answer is, "On one hand it feels like yesterday. On the other, it feels like a long time ago." Why do we experience our lives like this? How can something five or ten years ago feel recent, yet something that occurred last week ca
Saturday Morning Message: How TAPS Has Been Of Support During the Pandemic Saturday Morning Message: How TAPS Has Been Of Support During the Pandemic How TAPS Has Been Of Support During the Pandemic \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message TAPS Good Morning, It's hard to believe that it's already the end of March and that we just passed the one year anniversary of the start of the national COVID-19 quarantine. Time just seems to be flying by. Each step of the way our TAPS Family has been there to support us and keep us connected virtually and then, very recently, in perso
Five Reasons to Bring Your Kids to the National Military Survivor Suicide Seminar Five Reasons to Bring Your Kids to the National Military Survivor Suicide Seminar Five Reasons to Bring Your Kids to the National Military Survivor Suicide Seminar \| TAPS Karissa Kelley Protecting children from harm, guarding their innocence, and providing a happy childhood are paramount goals in the mind of a loving caregiver. Words like “death,” “suicide,” and “grief” may not seem to fit with this vision of a happy childhood. Attending a National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar (NMSSS) i
Have A Coping Plan For Grief During The Holidays Have A Coping Plan For Grief During The Holidays Have A Coping Plan For Grief During The Holidays \| TAPS Bonnie Carroll It’s official: The holidays are here. Families will gather to share in the sights, sounds, and tastes of Christmas, along with the hustle and bustle of decorations, gifts, and holiday parties. But for families and friends of America’s fallen military heroes, the holidays can be tougher. There’s an empty chair at the table. The holiday photos and postcards are missing an i
teams4taps Marks Second Anniversary teams4taps Marks Second Anniversary teams4taps Marks Second Anniversary TAPS The teams4taps program celebrated its two-year anniversary in November. The occasion set in motion an exciting end-of-year schedule of team engagements. Across America, survivors and their heroes were honored both on and off the playing field. And the momentum continues - in 2016, teams4taps is poised to expand relationships with professional sports teams. With each interaction, more dreams come true for TAPS famil
Gifts, Garlands, and Grief Gifts, Garlands, and Grief Gifts, Garlands, and Grief Sandy Goodman Including your Lost Loved Ones in the Holidays I remember our first Christmas season after. It began the first week of November in 1996, three short months into our worst nightmare, but a lifetime into missing our child of eighteen years. He had died suddenly, one of those "in the wrong place at the wrong time" things, and he took our hearts with him when he left. Summer screeched to a halt and autumn came and went without
Saturday Morning Message: Remembering the Light Saturday Morning Message: Remembering the Light Saturday Morning Message: Remembering the Light Carol Lane Good Morning, Remembering the light and not the darkness takes a long time to come into our lives after the death of a loved one. If you observe a lighthouse in the late evening, the stream of light comes into your line of vision and then fades away, but it always comes back. That is how the memories of our loved ones’ lives come to us…in waves. Sometimes they make us laugh and other ti
The Legacy Lives On The Legacy Lives On The Legacy Lives On \| TAPS Kristi Stolzenberg Ashlynne Haycock-Lohmann is in her element walking the halls of Congress. The echoes of advocacy, the rushed click clack of heels on the marble floors, and the hush that sweeps the room as a committee hearing comes to order - she answers it all with a steady hand. For Ashlynne, these are the sounds of progress for military and veteran survivors - progress she personally knows is necessary, progress that became her why years ag
Helping Military Kids with Traumatic Death Helping Military Kids with Traumatic Death Helping Military Kids with Traumatic Death Linda Goldman Ordinary fears are a normal part of a child’s developmental growth, and children create internal and external mechanisms to cope with these fears. But a child’s ordinary fears can be transformed into very real survival fears in the face of severe trauma. After children experience the death of a parent, they often feel alone and different. Frightened because their once comfortable world now seem
Seminar: Southern Southern Regional Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp Southern Regional Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp \| TAPS This event is open to all military survivor adults and youth. If you are unable to attend in-person, we encourage you to join us virtually for our live sessions. Please double check that you select the correct button above (in-person or virtual) when you register for the event. COVID-19 Information - For those attending in-person we will adhere to the CDC a
Mentoring the Next Generation of Surviving Children Mentoring the Next Generation of Surviving Children Mentoring the Next Generation of Surviving Children \| TAPS Ashley Leal Jacob Brinneman The Power of Peer Support Carries on Through Legacy Mentors If you have ever attended a TAPS Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp — maybe a regional seminar or the National Military Survivor Seminar over Memorial Day weekend — you may have seen a group of children being led by volunteers in navy blue, purple, or white t-shirts. These volunt
The Gold Star Tree: A Holiday Memorial to Our Fallen Heroes The Gold Star Tree: A Holiday Memorial to Our Fallen Heroes The Gold Star Tree: A Holiday Memorial to Our Fallen Heroes \| TAPS Patti Nowaczyk During the Christmas season, the Hammond, Indiana, Welcome Center showcases its own exhibit of the movie “A Christmas Story.” Windows are filled with animated displays of scenes from the film. And yes, the leg lamp with the fishnet stocking shines brightly in all its glory. The display also includes 35 holiday trees, and there is a drawing to see who wi
Honor Your Fallen Hero with the NFL This Football Season Honor Your Fallen Hero with the NFL This Football Season Honor Your Fallen Hero with the NFL This Football Season TAPS Football is a favorite pastime for many Americans, but for many of us in the TAPS family it's more than that - it's a special connection shared with our fallen heroes. "Every game day when my husband was with us, he would have all our Patriots outfits laid out, ribs on the grill and nachos in the oven. Our two girls, Lani and Loralei, were his little cheerleaders and enjoy
The Love Languages of Grief The Love Languages of Grief The Love Languages of Grief \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt When it comes to mourning and how others can best help us, there’s no one right way. Every person and every loss is unique. The people we grieve the loss of — as well as the circumstances of the loss — are also one-of-a-kind. After a significant loss, what we think and feel inside, in what ways we’re able to express those thoughts and feelings and how we feel supported by others vary from person to person and loss to
Feelings In the Spaces of My Heart For Which There Are No Words Feelings In the Spaces of My Heart For Which There Are No Words Feelings In the Spaces of My Heart For Which There Are No Words Linda Ambard When Phil's candle burned out far too early, I snuffed out a part of me with him. In the 23 years of marriage, I found a safe harbor to weather the storms in. Before I met Phil, I didn't have laughter in my life and I yearned for a place to call home. Marrying a military man meant that my idea of home changed from a location to a concept. Home was wh
Finding the Strength to Help My Child Understand Death Finding the Strength to Help My Child Understand Death Finding the Strength to Help My Child Understand Death \| TAPS Barb Allen I had just hit my stride as a wife and mother of four little boys when my husband was killed in Iraq. Our children were just 6, 5, 3 and 1 years old. The pain was immense. The anger was consuming. Every part of me wished for the power to will my husband back to life, so I understood completely when my three-year-old son rolled over in bed one night, pointed to the
Stars, Stripes, and Service Stars, Stripes, and Service Stars, Stripes, and Service \| TAPS Dawn Kotalik Kristi Stolzenberg Editor's Note: This article is a follow-up to the article, “Honor to Serve,” published on TAPS in March 2024. Service is something of a tradition in the Kotalik family. During WWII, a paratrooper with that last name landed in Normandy, and his legacy inspired future generations of Kotaliks to follow in his footsteps, including his great-grandson, U.S. Army SPC Jarrett Kotalik, who enlisted i
Klinger's Korner: Healthy Growth & Development In Bereaved Children and Teenagers Klinger's Korner: Healthy Growth & Development In Bereaved Children and Teenagers Klinger's Korner: Healthy Growth & Development In Bereaved Children and Teenagers \| TAPS Andy McNiel How can I help my child grow and develop in healthy ways even when they are grieving the death of someone in their life? It is difficult to watch our children struggle or face distress after a loss. As parents, we want our children to have healthy, happy experiences, and we worry that their grief will have long-t
Breaking Away from Loneliness Breaking Away from Loneliness Breaking Away from Loneliness \| TAPS Emily Munoz Grief is inherently about interrupted connection. We are separated from someone we love. Loneliness, then, is logical. I just didn’t expect it to show up, years after the searing had turned to scarring. When it did, it was because, in my early grief, I leaned so much into the hope that the universe still held joy and purpose for me, that eventually this would all make sense. But loneliness showed up, clutching
Saturday Morning Message: Ornaments for our Loved Ones Saturday Morning Message: Ornaments for our Loved Ones Saturday Morning Message: Ornaments for our Loved Ones \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, Ornaments are special. Some of them are from places we have visited, come from special friends or family, or they can be just something we bought because it touched our hearts. TAPS has touched many hearts, so the opening picture is an ornament you can buy at the TAPS store. This week survivors wrote about creating an ornament that introduces their lo
It Takes A Tribe It Takes A Tribe It Takes A Tribe Shauna Springer When we lose someone we love, it’s easy to lose hope. We can become helpless and only see the darkest parts of grief. But there is hope. There is help. There is healing. It takes a tribe - a group of people who share a common language, culture and history - to preserve life after loss. Those who have lived through similar experiences provide a guiding light and a rallying unit. Professional mental health providers play an important role, bu
Learning to Swim Learning to Swim Learning to Swim Tara Cameron I share a lot as a writer. I like to think of myself as transparent. But there are still a lot of things about me that aren’t transparent. I struggle with letting others see my grief. Mourning in front of others is a challenge. Some people bottle up their anger and frustrations. Me, I bottle up my tears. Anyone who knows me personally knows that I don't like to cry in front of an audience. I don't like to let those walls down because I hate fe
Physical Reactions to Loss and Grief Physical Reactions to Loss and Grief How the Body Reacts to the Loss of a Loved One - TAPS News Susan Blankenship Rebecca Porter “Sometimes I feel like I’m floating, like this just can’t be real. Am I losing my mind?” “My hands feel freezing cold, like they’re in a bucket of ice water. I’ve never had this kind of feeling before.” “My skin has been a mess for the past month. I haven’t had acne like this since I was in high school. What’s happening to me?” After the sudden and unexpected loss
My TAPS Journey My TAPS Journey My TAPS Journey \| TAPS Amanda Klager I am so grateful for TAPS and all the amazing people who have become a big part of my life and family since my brother Adam passed away. Deb Lucey, Director of Operations, Survivor Services, reached out to me. I was very hesitant. I knew there was nothing anyone could do that would bring him back. Deb did not give up on me. She continued to reach out and check in on me. She told me she was a surviving sister herself. She told me she kn
3 Reasons Why Posting "Sad" Things to Social Media Doesn't Mean I'm Stuck in My Grief 3 Reasons Why Posting "Sad" Things to Social Media Doesn't Mean I'm Stuck in My Grief 3 Reasons Why Posting "Sad" Things to Social Media Doesn't Mean I'm Stuck in My Grief Kelly Griffith “He would want you to go on with your life.” The words knocked the wind out of me as if I was once again standing at the front door, staring blankly at three Marines. How could anyone think that posting a photo of my brother’s headstone on social media is not OK? That I’m somehow stuck in my grief because
Saturday Morning Message: Uplifting Our Spirits Saturday Morning Message: Uplifting Our Spirits Saturday Morning Message: Uplifting Our Spirits \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, Uplifting our spirits on the grief journey can sometimes be a daunting task. This week survivors share ideas about what they find useful to raise their feelings when they are down. One of the methods sent by Winona, spouse of Clifford, is gardening. She sent this beautiful picture of her garden — you will read more below about how she accomplishes a more peaceful pe
Introducing Alice Daniel Introducing Alice Daniel Introducing Alice Daniel Alice Daniel "The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new." ~Rajneesh Only sadness has consumed my life more than the word WHY. I came into this world a “daughter.” My father died at 39 years old. I was 12. I thought my world had come to an end. Surely there was no greater pain that could be suffered than to lose your parent.
A Time of Thankfulness A Time of Thankfulness A Time of Thankfulness Rachael Hill The holiday season is one that can be very difficult when you are missing someone you love. Everything is about family dinners and family outings. Family, family, family. While I love spending time with my boys and our friends that have become like family, there is always that stinging reminder that my “family” is not complete since my husband is no longer with us. I have many friends on Facebook doing the “30 days of thankfulness a
Seminar: National 29th Annual National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp 29th Annual National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp \| TAPS Looking to connect day of event? EVENT APP (ZOOM) ACCESS For Adults: TAPS Seminars Each Memorial Day, our country remembers those who have served and died. As our country reflects on the costs of freedom, we come together to tell the stories of our fallen heroes. We name our loved ones, celebrate their lives and decide again to live bigger an
Seminar: National 24th Annual National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp 24th Annual TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp You are warmly invited and encouraged to attend the 24th Annual TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp. Each Memorial Day, our country remembers those who have served and died. As our country reflects on the costs of freedom, we come together to tell the stories of our fallen heroes. We name our loved ones, celebrate their lives and
Seminar: San Diego San Diego Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp San Diego Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp As we move through the grief journey, we realize that changes provide perspective, and perspective drives purpose. Find new perspective, a sense of purpose and the support of peers at our brand new seminars. We urge you to take three days out of the grind of grief work and the stresses of daily life to fellowship with your TAPS family. Our new format will help you personalize your experience. Some
10 Things We Know to Be True about Suicide Loss 10 Things We Know to Be True about Suicide Loss 10 Things We Know to Be True about Suicide Loss \| TAPS TAPS Losing someone you love to suicide comes with complex grief. You might catch yourself asking why or what if or even wrestling with guilt, thinking you could have done something more — "If only I would have..." or "I should have known something was wrong." These questions, though raw and overwhelming — especially in grief — and processing these questions over time and with support can he
New Beginnings in the Winter Stillness New Beginnings in the Winter Stillness New Beginnings in the Winter Stillness \| TAPS Erin Jacobson When we journey into winter, a new rhythm emerges. Nature’s pace slows down; the earth becomes more still and turns inward. Animals go into hibernation; the fallen leaves return to the soil to nourish new growth; snow covers the hardened ground. Darkness comes early in the afternoons, closing out our days much sooner than the hazy evenings of summer. We, too, take our cues from nature, beginning
Saturday Morning Message: Holiday Traditions Saturday Morning Message: Holiday Traditions TAPS Saturday Morning Message: Holiday Traditions Carol Lane Good Morning, After the loss of a loved one, many find it hard to observe holidays. Today two articles are shared that talk about reaching for the light through the darkness at this time of year. Kim Ruocco wrote a very meaningful article. The list of thoughts she included are listed below. To read the whole article, go to “Finding New Perspective on Holiday Traditions When You’re Gr
Memorial Day: A National Debt, A Personal Price Memorial Day: A National Debt, A Personal Price Memorial Day: A National Debt, A Personal Price \| TAPS Emily Munoz Memorial Day was a first step toward national unity in a deeply divided country. With origins in the aftermath of the Civil War, it was designated for the purpose of “strewing with flowers, or otherwise decorating the graves of comrades who died in defense of their country during the late rebellion, and whose bodies now lie in almost every city, village and hamlet church-yard in
Seminar: National 31st Annual National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp 31st Annual National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp \| TAPS Adults Each Memorial Day, our country remembers those who have served and died. As our country reflects on the costs of freedom, we come together to tell the stories of our fallen heroes. We name our loved ones, celebrate their lives and decide again to live bigger and better on their behalf. Surrounded by the monuments and memorials of our nat
Seminar: National 32nd Annual National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp 32nd Annual National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp \| TAPS Adults Each Memorial Day, our country remembers those who have served and died. As our country reflects on the costs of freedom, we come together to tell the stories of our fallen heroes. We name our loved ones, celebrate their lives and decide again to live bigger and better on their behalf. Surrounded by the monuments and memorials of our nat
The Power of Sports The Power of Sports The Power of Sports \| TAPS August Cabrera Angela Cabrera Beyond the Final Score August Cabrera, surviving spouse and mother to Max and Roanin Texas A&M is a huge deal in the Cabrera family. Not only did our hero, Dave, graduate from there in 1992, but a sister, brother, and now nephew are all Aggies. Dave and his first wife, Angela, were college sweethearts and now their two kids, Corbin and Gillian, both attend A&M. So when team4taps called to offer our family, our
Grief Rumination Spiral, Part 3: 5 Tips to Calm Your Anxious Mind Grief Rumination Spiral, Part 3: 5 Tips to Calm Your Anxious Mind Heather Stang, M.A., C-IAYT * TAPS Advisory Board In part two of the Grief Rumination Spiral series, Helpful vs. Harmful Thoughts, we explored the kinds of thoughts that help grief move and the kinds that tend to keep us stuck. If you've begun to notice your own patterns, you're already doing the most important part: bringing awareness to what's happening inside you. Now, let's talk about what to do with that awareness. Wor
Looking for Hope in all the Right Places Looking for Hope in all the Right Places Looking for Hope in all the Right Places Janet Crane My Journey of Grief I have always thought of myself as a strong person. In reality my strength had never really been tested until I experienced the losses of the last 13 years. I lost my dad in 2000, a half sister in 2004, another half sister in 2008, my mom in 2010, and my son in 2012. I have to say that I had handled all of my losses up to my son's pretty well. I was sad and did my share of crying
Good vs. Bad Pain Good vs. Bad Pain Good vs. Bad Pain \| TAPS Emily Munoz Finding Power and Purpose through the Hurt We know that pain is uncomfortable, but can it also be a good thing? A useful thing? Pain can be a valuable teacher. But as much as we may learn from it, we may also feel compelled to avoid it. It takes tremendous emotional energy to constantly have to come to terms with how much has gone awry. How much should we wrestle with how hurt we are, and how much should we surrender? Photo c
Prepare Yourself for the Holidays Prepare Yourself for the Holidays Prepare Yourself for the Holidays \| TAPS Bonnie Carroll Alan Wolfelt “Oh that it were possible, after long grief and pain, to find the arms of my true love around me once again.” ~ Alfred Lord Tennyson Because the person who died is no longer there to share the holidays with you, you may feel particularly sad and vulnerable during Christmas, Hanukkah and other holidays that are special to your family. Don’t overextend yourself during the holidays. Don’
My Death Wish My Death Wish My Death Wish Michele Hernandez Moving from Misery to Meaning It is an odd and frightening sensation to wish you were dead. After my husband died I fervently wished I could die, too. The first time I read that grieving people sometimes fantasize about death, I was relieved. My entire life I had appreciated the gift of life; to suddenly and frequently wish it away was a disconcerting and lonely experience. When my husband, Phil, was hit by a car, the initial shock provided
Corporate / Company Team Challenge Team TAPS Corporate / Company Team Challenge Corporate Challenge Team TAPS Corporate / Company Team Challenge Since 1994, TAPS has provided comfort and hope 24/7 through a national peer support network and connection to grief resources, all at no cost to surviving families and loved ones. Throughout each year, Team TAPS pays tribute to the sacrifices made by our men and women in service to America, while raising funds and creating awareness to support the TAPS mission. We offer companies the
How to Tell Children About a Death How to Tell Children About a Death How to Tell Children About a Death \| TAPS TAPS TAPS listens to survivors. Our ear is continually tuned toward the input of all those in the survivor community. As a result, programming and resources have been tailored by insightful feedback that effectively speaks to the experiences and needs of all those who have lost a loved one whose life included military service to America. This community of hope rallies to identify helpful next steps in programs, partn
Following in Dad’s Footsteps Following in Dad’s Footsteps Following in Dad’s Footsteps Kelly McHugh-Stewart The last mile was the most painful, physically and mentally. I tried to keep from dwelling too much on my dad for the first 24 miles of the race in fear I’d break down too early and lose the energy I needed to finish my first marathon. But once my blistered body hit the 25-mile marker, I let the tears and the memories flow. My salty tears mixed with my sweat and were quickly washed away in the steady downpour of r
How I Honor the Memories of My Dad During the Holidays How I Honor the Memories of My Dad During the Holidays How I Honor the Memories of My Dad During the Holidays \| TAPS Zakees Baker As the holiday season sets in, I’m reminded of so many special memories of my father, Sgt. Jevon Jordan. I’m reminded of his love of family, sense of duty to serve and that smile on his face when he’d take the first bite of lemon meringue pie. And while the memories can and do bring pain, they’re matched by the purest sense of joy as I think about our happiest mome
Losing Myself, After Losing John: The Fight to Find My Inner Warrior Losing Myself, After Losing John: The Fight to Find My Inner Warrior Losing Myself, After Losing John: The Fight to Find My Inner Warrior Sharon Forbes Grief is one of the most difficult things we can endure. And If we allow it, grief can become all-consuming and even self-destructive. When my fiancé John McNulty, a civilian contractor and K-9 handler, died by suicide, the ground beneath me disappeared. I was disoriented and collapsed internally – questioning: Was it my fault? Was it somethin
September 21, 2021 September 21, 2021 TAPS Statement for the Record \| TAPS News Advocacy Proprietary Footer September 21, 2021 - TAPS Statement for the Record Before the Committee on Veterans’ Affairs, United States House of Representatives, Subcommittee on Economic Opportunity, Hearing On Pending Legislation Presented by Ashlynne Haycock, Deputy Director, Policy The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) is the national provider of comfort, care, and resources to all those grieving the death of a m
Best-Practice Suicide Postvention Model Provides Roadmap for Growth Best-Practice Suicide Postvention Model Provides Roadmap for Growth Best-Practice Suicide Postvention Model Provides Roadmap for Growth \| TAPS TAPS The TAPS Suicide Prevention and Postvention Program placed increased focus on its best-practice TAPS Suicide Postvention Model in 2019, building the 11th annual National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar around the three-phase model so that survivors in attendance could see a clearer path to their post-traumatic growth and defining themselves as m
March 8 2023 March 8, 2023 TAPS Statement for the Record \| TAPS News Advocacy Proprietary Footer March 8, 2023 - TAPS Statement for the Record Before the Committees On Veterans' Affairs United States Senate and House of Representatives Joint House and Senate Veterans Service Organization Legislative Presentation Presented by Bonnie Carroll, TAPS President And Founder Topics in this Statement: Pass Comprehensive Remarriage Legislation, The Love Lives On Act Improve Dependency and Indemnity Compensatio
Holiday Tribute Trees: A Powerful Way to Remember and Honor our Military Loved Ones Holiday Tribute Trees: A Powerful Way to Remember and Honor our Military Loved Ones Holiday Tribute Trees: A Powerful Way to Remember and Honor our Military Loved Ones \| TAPS TAPS When you lose someone you love, the holiday season takes on a whole new meaning. What once was the “most wonderful time of the year” might now feel anything but. Suddenly there is an empty chair at your table and an empty stocking on your mantel. Old traditions might not feel quite right anymore, so what do you do?
30-Mile Challenge for TAPS 30-Mile Challenge for TAPS 30-Mile Challenge for TAPS This June, take part in the TAPS 30-Mile Challenge — a powerful way to honor those who served and died, and support those grieving the death of a military or veteran loved one. We're kicking things off this May, and what better time to join than during Memorial Day season — a meaningful time to take action, reflect, and rally your community around a cause that matters. Walk, run, or move your way through 30 miles in June. Whether you'
Healing Tree Healing Tree Healing Tree \| TAPS Sharon Hilty Last Christmas, when it was time to put up my tree, I did not want to decorate with my usual collection of ornaments — I wanted this tree to be special. I decided this tree would be a tribute to my son, SFC John-David Hilty, who died in Iraq on March 30, 2020, after 20 years of service to our country. I started by looking around my home to see what I might use to decorate what I came to call “My Healing Tree,” and I was amazed at all the dried f
Choices Choices Choices Linda Ambard Sometimes it feels like life is unfair. As I watch happy families together and as people assume that I am single by divorce, I want to scream at the world that this isn't my choice. None of it. Like many people, I thought I knew what my future held. I can't say that I always liked every aspect of my life, but for the most part, I liked my status quo and I knew who I was in my world. I was Phil Ambard's wife and Patrick, Josh, Emily, Alex, and Tim's mom. I wa
A widow’s transformational trip A widow’s transformational trip A widow’s transformational trip \| TAPS Carole Hilton Many years ago, about seven years after my husband’s death, I was sitting in a meeting participating in an icebreaker activity. As we went around the room and shared something that was on our bucket list, I was horrified to realize that I had nothing. Nothing that I was looking forward to — no long term plans or dreams. Since my husband’s death in 2004 my entire focus had been on raising our three children (w
Donate your Vehicle Donate your Vehicle \| TAPS Donate Your Vehicle to Support TAPS Donating is a great way to get rid of an old or extra vehicle. There are a couple ways to donate. Car Donation Foundation d/b/a Vehicles For Veterans is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit vehicle donation program dedicated to providing funding that will help to build better lives for all of our nation's veterans and their families. Car Donation Foundation accepts cars, boats, RVs, motorcycles or other vehicles. Proceeds support TAPS programs
Using Medication for Grief When and How to Use Medication for Grief Using Medication for Grief - TAPS News Richard Dew Note: As with any medical questions, seek the advice of your physician. Prescription medications should only be taken under the advisement of a licensed medical professional. It was a typical meeting of The Compassionate Friends, a national organization for parents who have lost a child. We were discussing what helped us cope with the death of our child. Joanna, a quiet lady who seldom spoke, sudden
How Persistence and Patience Paid Off How Persistence and Patience Paid Off How Persistence and Patience Paid Off TAPS My wife and I found TAPS in May 2010 after my grandson's death by suicide the previous year. We were overwhelmed at our first TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar - to have to admit this loss is real is so difficult. But we found the family and comfort we needed. My wife was determined to be a TAPS Peer Mentor. As a Marine who served in Vietnam, I wasn't sure I could be a mentor to another person because of
Safe Zones: Boundaries in Early Grief Safe Zones: Boundaries in Early Grief Safe Zones: Boundaries in Early Grief Emily Munoz Author Bill Bryson wrote a book called “I’m A Stranger Here, Myself,” which chronicles his re-entry into American culture after living in the United Kingdom for 20 years. While the book isn’t about grief, it is about change and what happens when the world around us changes without our consent or awareness. Sometimes we become strangers to ourselves. Doesn't it often feel, especially in early grief, as t
A Visit to Arlington A Visit to Arlington A Visit to Arlington \| TAPS Pamela Henne Walking Among the Familiar My letter began, You don’t know me, but you knew my father when you both served in Europe during World War II. My mother has told me how she hears from you at Christmastime and you always speak fondly of Dad and your days together as soldiers. My father was a great man; gracious, patient and most importantly a hero. Of course he never saw himself this way, but I certainly did. He taught me by his action
5 Reasons Peer Support Has Helped Me Through My Grief 5 Reasons Peer Support Has Helped Me Through My Grief 5 Reasons Peer Support Has Helped Me Through My Grief \| TAPS Amanda Klager You can Google the definition of grief and read it over and over again, but until you go through it you’ll never fully understand. When my brother, Army Spc. Adam Klager, died friends and loved ones came to my side. They cried with me. They were there for me. But they didn’t understand what I was going through. My family was grieving as well, but their grief was d
July 17, 2017 July 17, 2017 TAPS Statement for the Record \| TAPS News Advocacy Proprietary Footer July 17, 2017 - TAPS Statement for the Record Before the Committee on Veterans’ Affairs, United States House of Representatives The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) is the national nonprofit organization providing compassionate care for the families of America’s fallen military heroes. TAPS provides peer-based emotional support, grief and trauma resources, grief seminars and retreats for adult
Video: TAPS Friendsgiving Video: TAPS Friendsgiving Video: TAPS Friendsgiving \| TAPS TAPS Media As we move further into Fall, we begin ushering in the holiday season and are reminded of the importance of family and community. This Fall, we are creating local, one day events across the country where survivors can connect and acknowledge the bittersweet nature of the holidays and the range of emotions that can come along with them. We call this TAPS Friendsgiving. Together, we will tell the stories of those who left emp
Webinar: The Power of Story – Shaping Your World Through Narrative Webinar: The Power of Story – Shaping Your World Through Narrative The Power of Story – Shaping Your World Through Narrative Webinar \| TAPS Institute Eastern Stories are the lens through which we make sense of the world. They shape our perceptions of what we enjoy, who we are, who we aspire to be, and how we interpret our experiences. This uniquely human gift holds a profound influence over our emotions, decisions, and interactions. When we dwell on the past, feel overwhelmed in the present, or
Video: Heartbreaking Loss & Hopeful Connections - One Military Surviving Mom's Story Video: Heartbreaking Loss & Hopeful Connections - One Military Surviving Mom's Story Video: Heartbreaking Loss & Hopeful Connections - One Military Surviving Mom's Story \| TAPS TAPS Media Alice Daniel Alice Daniel thought that when her son, Austin, came back from serving in Iraq, they had weathered the storm and made it through okay, until Austin was diagnosed with cancer, which would later be linked to toxic exposure from burn pits in Iraq. Austin died from cancer related complications and Al
Afghanistan to America - Women to Women Building Bridges and Finding Hope Afghanistan to America - Women Building Bridges and Finding Hope Afghanistan Bracelets TAPS Media afghanistan bracelets, online story, afghan 2017 Afghanistan - About the Stone of Heaven Women in America and in Afghanistan grieving the death of their loved ones build a bridge between these two worlds through this bracelet project.
Discovering a New Plan Discovering a New Plan Discovering a New Plan R. Glenn Kelly Almost as if spring were just a dream, summer is upon us, and we find ourselves in shorts, t-shirts and sandals, darting to and from air-conditioned spaces. Summer also brings another transition point for me after the traumatic loss of a child. In summer 2013, I lost my son and only child, Jonathan, when his heart failed during a relatively simple surgery. To me, summer will always be a reminder of the plans I had that were erase
From Grief to Gratitude From Grief to Gratitude From Grief to Gratitude Amy Dozier After experiencing loss, I found myself full of negative emotions, especially on days like today - an angelversary - that remind me of that particular loss. I felt desperately cheated out of more time, doubtful that life could be back to "normal" again, and an overwhelming sense of loneliness. I thought no one understood my fleeting emotions. Over time, I learned that all of these feelings were actually just the right ones to feel at
Following In My Brother's Footsteps Following In My Brother's Footsteps Following In My Brother's Footsteps Kelly Griffith I was 10 years old the first and last time I asked my brother, Sam, if I could go on a run with him. He was home from college at Penn State, but he still had to do PT runs for ROTC. We were only running to the front of the neighborhood and back, so it was an easy two miles round trip. It was clear right from the start that I wasn’t going to be able to keep Sam’s pace. I was stubborn though, and told him
Zipped Into My Fraud Suit Zipped Into My Fraud Suit Zipped Into My Fraud Suit Marcia McCormick Tomlinson The moment I received the news that my son was dead by suicide I changed. Everything about the life I had planned for myself changed in an instant. Everything about me changed, too. That was the moment I reached down and stepped into my Fraud Suit. “How are you?” concerned friends asked. “Fine,” I lied. And thus I began to zip myself into the Fraud Suit I wore everywhere, to church, to the store, to the library,
Destiny: Realizing Not Everything Dies With Our Loved Ones Destiny: Realizing Not Everything Dies With Our Loved Ones Destiny: Realizing Not Everything Dies With Our Loved Ones Elizabeth Rozier I know it’s hard for many of us to imagine a world outside of our injured heart. The hole created by the death of our loved ones becomes the central focus of everything. The way we react, think, dream, etc. all centers around that injury. While I will never stop telling people about my brother I have made a conscious effort this year to not let that steer my
Picking Up the Pieces Picking Up the Pieces Picking Up the Pieces \| TAPS Chris Beck Life after the loss of a loved one can shatter us and bring us to our knees, lost, not knowing what to do next. As the pieces of our lives scatter after a loss, finding a way to put them back together can seem overwhelming. Life’s complexities have many similarities to jigsaw puzzles — you sort and gather pieces, then fit them into your unique picture. I worked 55 years to build my puzzle, adding pieces along the way: my wife,
Crisis Amid Faith Crisis Amid Faith Gregory T. Jacobs, Surviving Father of Army SPC David M. Jacobs, TAPS Peer Mentor Grief is a common, dare I say, universal life experience. We grieve the death of pets, the end of meaningful relationships, moving from a longtime home, and the death of loved ones. Each encounter with grief brings varying levels of denial, anger, deep sadness, and loneliness — to name just a few. However, grief born from the death of a child can be a dark void that ensnares even the stronge
October is Emotional Wellness Month October is Emotional Wellness Month October is Emotional Wellness Month \| TAPS TAPS This article was first published on the TAPS website on October 1, 2021 and has been updated with additional resources. As members of the TAPS family, we either know (or are learning) that even in the midst of heartache, we can find moments of comfort and connection. It doesn’t always come naturally - it isn’t easy to balance the needs of grieving and living. Yet, when we’re navigating major life transition
How to Practice Self-Compassion When Grieving How to Practice Self-Compassion When Grieving How to Practice Self-Compassion When Grieving \| TAPS Cori Bussolari The death of a loved one can be the most difficult event we ever experience. Grief, or the deep sorrow and heartbreak we feel as a result of this loss, can overwhelm us so much that all assumptions about how the universe works completely shatter. Grief is messy, confusing, enormously painful, and never seems to follow a linear path. This is the time where we need to deeply take c
Holiday Wish List for the Grieving Holiday Wish List for the Grieving Holiday Wish List for the Grieving Jeff Brookshire "Happy Hanukkah," they say. "Merry Christmas," they repeat. "Joyous Kwanza," they wish. But for some of us, happy and merry and joy are the remotest emotions of our heart. Especially during this season. Too many memories. Too many traditions. Too much pain. The empty chair at the dinner table. The one less present under the tree. The voice that filled the room with laughter now silent. While some sing that "
Two Widows Talk with TIME Magazine Two Widows Talk with TIME Magazine Two Widows Talk with TIME Magazine TAPS Two Widows Who Lost Their Husbands to Suicide Talk with TIME Magazine TIME magazine’s cover story issued today asks why active-duty service members are dying by suicide and features the stories of two widows who both lost their husbands on the same day, March 21, 2012. Both widows are getting peer-based emotional support through TAPS. Leslie McCaddon is the surviving widow of Army Captain Michael McCaddon. McCaddon w
March 29, 2022 - House March 29, 2022 TAPS Statement for the Record \| TAPS News Advocacy Proprietary Footer March 29, 2022 - TAPS Statement for the Record Before the Committee on Veterans' Affairs United States House of Representatives; Subcommittee On Disability Assistance And Memorial Affairs Legislative Hearing Presented by Candace Wheeler, Director, TAPS Policy View the Full Hearing The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) is the national provider of comfort, care, and resources to all those griev
April 14, 2021 April 14, 2021 TAPS Statement for the Record \| TAPS News Advocacy Proprietary Footer April 14, 2021 - TAPS Statement for the Record Before the Committee on Veterans’ Affairs, United States House of Representatives, Subcommittee on Economic Opportunity The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) is the national provider of comfort, care, and resources to all those grieving the death of a military loved one. TAPS was founded in 1994 as the 50l(c)(3) non-profit organization to provide 2
TAPS Family Featured in Front Page New York Times Story on Suicide in the Military TAPS Family Featured in Front Page New York Times Story on Suicide in the Military TAPS Family Featured in Front Page New York Times Story on Suicide in the Military TAPS WASHINGTON - Don Lipstein, of West Chester, Pa., is featured today in a front-page New York Times story by Andrew Lehren and Jim Dao discussing suicide in the military. Lipstein works with the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS), which provides comfort and care to anyone grieving the death of someone who died whi
Climbing Mountains Climbing Mountains Climbing Mountains Peggy Carvill-Ligouri We all have mountains to climb, mine just happened to be in Tanzania, Africa. Climbing Mount Kilimanjaro challenged me and changed me in ways I never thought possible. I started with the sole purpose of honoring the memories of my two brothers, Mike and Frank. Mike died of colon cancer on September 23, 2003. Frank was killed in action in Sadr City, Iraq, on June 4, 2004. They loved travel, adventure and any and all outdoor activit
Running for Dad on Father's Day Running for Dad on Father's Day Running for Dad on Father's Day Allicia Johnson When I first started writing for TAPS it was just kind of a given I would be submitting a Father’s Day post. I thought this would be one of my easiest submissions—until I attended the TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar last month. I went with the intention of being a shoulder to cry on and support to strangers who were young in their grief, only to end up with tear stains on my own cheeks more often than I
The Grief Journey and My Adult Children The Grief Journey and My Adult Children The Grief Journey and My Adult Children Linda Ambard One of the most difficult aspects of losing Phil was I could barely help myself. I couldn’t fix my own hurts and I couldn’t fix the hurts in my children. It wasn’t that we invented things to implode the closeness we had once shared, but we couldn’t make our way out of the darkness. Nobody wanted anyone else to feel worse if they were having a hard day, so we kept in our own lanes. The collateral d
I'm All About That Bass I'm All About That Bass I'm All About That Bass Linda Ambard There is a song that says, “I’m all about that bass, about that bass.” That song means something different to me than others, I am sure. When I hear it, I immediately consider my attitude. It’s all about that attitude. While I cannot deny that I still have pity parties and days that I break down in tears, I can say that each and every day I make the choice to be happy. How can I subtly shift my paradigms when the very person I built
The Dance The Dance The Dance Ashlynne Haycock-Lohmann Music has always been an important part of my family. Some of my earliest memories of my father involve him singing and dancing in the kitchen while making breakfast. I remember my mother playing the cassette version of Garth Brooks albums in her minivan driving me to school in the mornings. Don't get me wrong, I cannot sing to save my life, but that has never stopped me from singing along, horribly, while driving or in the shower. One of the mo
Today I'm Angry Today I'm Angry Today I'm Angry Alice Daniel I’ve done my best to be “upbeat” for my family. After all, everyone depends on Mom, right? Bake the birthday cakes, organize holidays, plan family vacations, get this one to therapy, that one to the doctor – the list goes on and on. And most days I can - I can said the little engine, I can. I’m not sure how it’s possible, but my life seems to have two different faces. On one hand my life reminds me of a book published years, ago, I’m Dancing as Fas
The Art of Cherishing The Art of Cherishing The Art of Cherishing \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt After the death of someone close to you, you enter a time of deep grief. This is a normal and necessary time of transition. If you use this period of intense grief to actively and intentionally engage with your painful thoughts and feelings, you find ways to express them that are helpful to you. In other words, you do the hard work of mourning. You share your grief outside yourself — in doses over time — so that you begin to inte
From Uncertainty to Excitement at the TAPS College Experience From Uncertainty to Excitement at the TAPS College Experience From Uncertainty to Excitement at the TAPS College Experience \| TAPS Maxx Ray The importance of education has always been instilled in my personal beliefs. Though, post-secondary school always gave me doubts — What if I’m not smart enough? What if I haven’t done enough? There were so many uncertainties that floated around my mind, causing me to get way too worked up at the thought of college. I began to over-stress about college, w
How Nature Helps Us Heal After Loss How Nature Helps Us Heal After Loss How Nature Helps Us Heal After Loss \| TAPS Erin Jacobson My senses were in overdrive. My ears filled with the sounds of my feet plodding on dirt and the swish of my arms against my backpack. I heard birds singing and the wind moving through the trees. My nostrils filled with the sharp scent of pine trees. The sun toasted my skin. All around me I could see the breathtaking beauty of Eastern Montana, but the sensation of burning muscles consumed me. I had m
Saturday Morning Message: How We Will Honor Memorial Day Saturday Morning Message: How We Will Honor Memorial Day How We Will Honor Memorial Day \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good morning, The springtime holidays from Mother’s Day to Father’s Day, with Memorial Day in between, can be stressful for many surviving adults and children. If there is a significant birth or angelversary date that occurs during this time, it can be even more emotional for the family. This year is particularly stressful with social distancing and the uncertain
The Family Plot Arlington National Cemetery: The Family Plot Arlington National Cemetery: The Family Plot \| TAPS Claire Henline Whispering across the ageless stones, some of our modern-day Spartans lie in Arlington National Cemetery. The cemetery itself has long held a singular reputation of honor, duty, and sacrifice, but it is really one of many distinguished cemeteries for our nation's veterans across the country. Still, Arlington captures the patriot's heart and evokes the spirit of sacrifice like few ot
Holiday Emotions Only Your #tapsfam Understands Holiday Emotions Only Your #tapsfam Understands Holiday Emotions Only Your #tapsfam Understands TAPS If you’ve ever seen the movie Elf, you know that there are times you just might not “fit in.” Whether you need to dig into the holidays or to completely disconnect from them, there’s no place that grief takes you that your #tapsfam doesn’t understand. We’ve lived through the extremes, and we’ve made it through the melancholy in between–you will make it, too. What we've learned by living is
Grief Rumination Spiral, Part 2: Helpful vs. Harmful Thoughts Grief Rumination Spiral, Part 2: Helpful vs. Harmful Thoughts Heather Stang, M.A., C-IAYT This is the second article in a four-part series, “Grief Rumination Spiral,” originally published on HeatherStang.com in May 2025. Part one appeared in the fall 2025 issue of TAPS Magazine, and parts three and four will be published in the first two issues of 2026. When you’re grieving, your mind is full — and sometimes loud. Some thoughts offer comfort, while others only seem to fuel the pain. But it
Surviving the Holidays… Surviving the Holidays… Surviving the Holidays… Heidi Horsley Without My Brother I was shocked and stunned when I received the news that my brother Scott had died in a car accident. I thought my brother was going to be in my life forever. We grew up together, experienced a shared history, and knew things about each other that no one else will ever know. I always assumed we’d raise kids together, grow old together, and share many more holidays together. So how did I not only survive
Echoes in the Silence Echoes in the Silence Chris Beck, Surviving Father of U.S. Navy PO1 Jarrod Beck The silence in grief is excruciatingly loud — it’s deafening. It floods the soul and overpowers the senses. But, how can silence be so intense and overwhelming while remaining completely unnoticed by others? I pondered this question for months, attempting to achieve some level of understanding. When my son, Jarrod, passed away on Jan. 12, 2023, I faced hundreds of people and countless decisions, all while navig
What My Grief Has Taught Me About Life and COVID-19 What My Grief Has Taught Me About Life and COVID-19 What My Grief Has Taught Me About Life and COVID-19 \| TAPS Denise Brownlee The entire world has downshifted. COVID-19 and sheltering in place drastically changed how we live our lives. This has been a challenging time for many. It is important to acknowledge that each of our paths is unique. There has been a focus on people grieving the loss of their pre COVID-19 lives, but that doesn’t resonate with me. Instead, I began to realize that my g
July Was Not Kind July Was Not Kind July Was Not Kind Linda Ambard I took a terrible fall out running at the end of July. Both arms were scraped, and my left rib cage and leg were criss-crossed with terrible scrapes. I knew the right side of my body was traumatized, but I never even recognized the unseen injuries that haunt me know. One and a half weeks after that spill, I came home from a relatively short run for me. Within an hour, I could not use my right leg. My leg buckled and locked. I couldn't get
Taking Back My Finish Line Taking Back My Finish Line Taking Back My Finish Line Linda Ambard Nobody tells you how much grief is going to hurt. Although I am a marathon runner, I had to fight for each and every breath I took after Phil died. I woke up from a few stolen minutes of sleep with my bones aching and my body heavy. I went to bed exhausted and weary, but as soon as I close my eyes images began to torment and rob me of even more sleep. I’d think of my loved one, and the swollen knot in my throat would reappea
Learning to Let Go Learning to Let Go Learning to Let Go Amber Baum (It’s Not What You Think) When most people hear me say I’m learning to let go, they assume I’m speaking of my late husband, Sergeant Ryan John Baum, who was killed in Iraq on May 18, 2007. Some time ago, I would have drawn the same conclusion, because some time ago I was genuinely trying to let him go. Too much pain, confusion, and uncertainty punched my gut each time I heard his name or recalled our memories. Back on that dark day in 2007,
To Your Health To Your Health To Your Health LaRita Archibald Self Care "Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin as self neglecting." ~ William Shakespeare, Henry V Grieving is very hard work. It depletes energy and robs one of rest, of joy, and of the wish to care properly for oneself. For a time, most bereaved don't care whether they reestablish routine or restore structure in their lives. Some may not care about maintaining their health. Each is obsessed with the death and the loss that has occ
Terrorism Cannot Take Any More From Me Terrorism Cannot Take Any More From Me Terrorism Cannot Take Any More From Me Linda Ambard Until 9/11, I lived a shroud of naïve ignorance believing that terrorism was something that would never touch my country or my life. Terrorism was something that happened to other people in far off lands. I had lived in Europe for eight years at that point and while there were threats, I never really considered myself to be in danger. Phil deployed numerous times all over the world and I had long ago
Seminar: National 28th Annual National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp 28th Annual National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp \| TAPS Looking to connect day of event? EVENT APP (ZOOM) ACCESS Health Guidelines for the Seminar: In accordance with the most current information available, as of May 1, 2022, TAPS is lifting the requirement to provide proof of full vaccination to attend in-person events. We will continue to monitor COVID variants and we may adjust protocols to ensure safe a
Seminar: National 27th Annual National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp 27th Annual National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp \| TAPS Looking to connect day of event? EVENT APP (ZOOM) ACCESS This seminar and camp is open to all military survivor adults and youth. If you are unable and/or have concerns to attend in-person, we encourage you to attend our live workshops virtually. Please double check that you select the correct button above (in-person or virtual) when you submit your re
Seminar: National National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp 25th Annual National Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp \| TAPS You are warmly invited and encouraged to attend the 25th Anniversary of the Annual TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp. For Adults Each Memorial Day, our country remembers those who have served and died. As our country reflects on the costs of freedom, we come together to tell the stories of our fallen heroes. We name our loved ones, celebrate
Seminar: Chicago Chicago Survivor Seminar & Good Grief Camp Chicago Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp As we move through the grief journey, we realize that changes provide perspective, and perspective drives purpose. Find new perspective, a sense of purpose and the support of peers at our brand new regional seminars. We urge you to take three days out of the grind of grief work and the stresses of daily life to fellowship with your TAPS family. Our new format will help you personalize your experienc
Seminar: Colorado Colorado Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp Colorado Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp As we move through the grief journey, we realize that changes provide perspective, and perspective drives purpose. Find new perspective, a sense of purpose and the support of peers at our brand new regional seminars. We urge you to take three days out of the grind of grief work and the stresses of daily life to fellowship with your TAPS family. Our new format will help you personalize your experi
When Small Talk is a Big Issue When Small Talk is a Big Issue When Small Talk is a Big Issue \| TAPS Emily Munoz Traveling the country to host Regional Seminars, the TAPS team hears about the sense of freedom that comes from connecting with other people who understand. At TAPS events, you can be yourself — the armor can come off; the mask can fall away. As this happens, our bonds as a TAPS family strengthen and grow. And then, Sunday rolls around, and with it comes the real world — and some of us need that armor back. We do
Grade Schoolers and Military Loss Grade Schoolers and Military Loss Grade Schoolers and Military Loss Gloria Horsley Military families know resilience. Moves from base to base and long deployments can weigh on the family unit. But, for grade schoolers, constantly leaving friends and starting new schools where they don’t know anyone is an additional pressure. On top of that, when a family member or loved one is lost in the military, there is an incredible amount of trauma. Maybe your child has to change schools after you’ve
Helping a Grandparent Who Is Grieving Helping a Grandparent Who Is Grieving Helping a Grandparent Who Is Grieving Alan Wolfelt "When a grandchild dies, grandparents grieve twice. They mourn the loss of the child and they feel the pain of their own child's suffering. Sometimes we forget about the grandparents when a child dies. You can help by not forgetting, by offering the grandparents your love, support and presence in the weeks and months to come." ~ From Healing a Grandparent's Grieving Heart by Alan Wolfelt A child or
Boxes in the Attic: Part Two Boxes in the Attic: Part Two Boxes in the Attic: Part Two Betsy Beard You Can’t Take It With You It is said that one of the tasks of grieving is to relocate the loved one from being a physical presence to that of residing in our hearts and memories. It is not an easy task. And we really don’t want to do it. We just want them to come home and walk in the door. And after a few years, we get it. They’re not coming home. They won’t be watching this movie, reading that book, or wearing those clo