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Our Hearts Are with You, Houston Our Hearts Are with You, Houston Our Hearts Are with You, Houston TAPS Our thoughts and prayers are with everyone in our TAPS family who is affected by the historic flooding in Texas as a result of Hurricane Harvey. We want to do all we can to lessen the added strain on our families. Please know that we have a dedicated, experienced, and knowledgeable Casework Team standing by to deliver support and assistance to all of our surviving military family members. Photo Courtesy Harris County She
New Policy Affects Surviving Children with Special Needs New Policy Affects Surviving Children with Special Needs New Policy Affects Surviving Children with Special Needs TAPS New legislation now allows eligible surviving children with disabilities and incapacitated adult dependents to have their Survivor Benefit Plan payment made to a Special Needs Trust. Previously, a Special Needs Trust did not qualify to receive payments from a survivor benefit plan. What it means for survivors who receive payments from a Survivor Benefit Plan Why is this i
From Peer to Peer From Peer to Peer From Peer to Peer \| TAPS Heather Gray Blalock A TAPS Peer Mentor's Guidance for Supporting Others in Grief As a surviving spouse, I thought I understood grief. I felt I would be prepared to handle a grieving widow or family member who lost a loved one. So, it took me by surprise when I wasn’t. Five years after my husband was killed in Afghanistan, a pilot friend of ours was killed in a training exercise. I was at his wife’s house moments after the notification team left,
Giving Back and Paying it Forward Giving Back and Paying it Forward Giving Back and Paying it Forward \| TAPS TAPS TAPS relies on the generosity of its supporters to fund the critical resources, programs, and services vital to the healing of those who have lost a military loved one. The TAPS mission is a 24/7 effort, and the TAPS Development Team strives to accomplish two goals: (1) share the TAPS mission of hope and healing, and (2) raise funds necessary to support our military survivors. The COVID-19 pandemic struck in 202
Photos: Team TAPS Armed Forces Cycling Classic Team TAPS Armed Forces Cycling Classic Team TAPS Armed Forces Cycling Classic \| TAPS TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (88 photos) team taps, photos, honor the fallen, military survivor Flickr Album Event Photos: Team TAPS participate in a race weekend of fun for the whole family, including kids races, and a cycling expo on June 1 and 2, 2019.
Saturday Morning Message: The Story Behind the Name Saturday Morning Message: The Story Behind the Name Saturday Morning Message: The Story Behind the Name Carol Lane Good Morning, This week, spring arrived in my part of the country. My favorite flower is the rose, so I thought I would send a picture to you today. Now that it is warmer, people in my neighborhood stop and talk when they're outside. When I was young, many people would talk about who they were named after and why. This has always been one of my favorite conversations. Survivors
Money Matters Money Matters Money Matters Terri Starliper Dealing with Death, Dollars, & Sense On August 5, 2000, I married USAF Technical Sergeant Christopher Sheaffer. We had been together for almost 3 years. Chris was a Freefall Instructor at the Yuma Proving Grounds in Arizona. I was an accountant in Phoenix. Chris had two daughters from a previous marriage. We had bought a fixer-upper house in Phoenix with land where we could keep our horses. I had been recently promoted. We were set. Life was pict
Saturday Morning Message: Marking Days of Remembrance Saturday Morning Message: Marking Days of Remembrance Saturday Morning Message: Marking Days of Remembrance Carol Lane Good Morning, There were many responses to the question about what survivors do on special days like birthdays and angelversaries. By sharing what we do, we're able to give ideas to other survivors - and that is why the Saturday Morning Message was created. Caryn, mother of Nathan and spouse of Micheal, sent this picture of the dream catcher she will add to her son's collec
The Dream, Revised The Dream, Revised The Dream, Revised Tabitha Bonilla A glimpse into my thoughts this past September 11th anniversary… I feel like sometimes the outside world looks at me differently. I feel the pressure of others that I should "move on" since my losses occurred ten years ago. It is different on September 11th though. On that day, people pause in their everyday life, even if it is just for a moment. They remember. On this day, I feel like the world gets it, if only just for a day. I ca
Klinger’s Korner: Model & Teach Healthy Coping Klinger’s Korner: Model & Teach Healthy Coping Klinger’s Korner: Model & Teach Healthy Coping \| TAPS Andy McNiel “Children are keen observers but poor interpreters.” ~ Rudolf Dreikurs Children are like sponges, absorbing the world around them. They watch our actions during and reactions to situations as they occur. They hear the words we say in various settings and circumstances. They are paying attention to the way we react to them — when they play, when they are upset, and when th
Re-Creating Holiday Traditions Re-Creating Holiday Traditions Re-Creating Holiday Traditions \| TAPS Tina Barrett Ideas for Families Facing Very Different Holidays Holidays can be stressful, even during the best of times. For families grieving a loved one, significant dates hold even more emotional intensity and complexity. Reminders of the season — lights, music, decorations, and gift-giving — may seem out of sync with internal feelings or may trigger painful memories for families facing a very different holiday.
Run to support the TAPS mission Run to support the TAPS mission Run to support the TAPS mission \| TAPS Lalaine Estella Whether you’re a seasoned runner or aspire to run your first 10K race in the fall, now is the time to start planning your training regimen and getting into the runner’s mindset. As spring gets under way, it’s a good time to shift our focus to getting outside to start running and walking more. At TAPS, we’re excited for the fall race season as we continue to make every mile memory in honor of our loved ones
Purple Up! For Military Kids and TAPS Legacy Mentors Purple Up! For Military Kids and TAPS Legacy Mentors Purple Up! For Military Kids and TAPS Legacy Mentors \| TAPS TAPS Purple Up! Day is a special observance during each April’s Month of the Military Child, where the public is asked to wear purple to show their support for the service and sacrifices made by our nation’s military children. At TAPS, we support all those children who are grieving a military loss and honor their sacrifices each and every day. Our Legacy Mentors, surviving childr
Run and Remember: Running the Boston Marathon for TAPS Run and Remember: Running the Boston Marathon for TAPS Run and Remember: Running the Boston Marathon for TAPS TAPS The TAPS Run and Remember Team fields most of its runners every autumn in the annual Army 10 Miler and Marine Corps Marathon events in Washington, DC. But those aren’t our only venues. Any runner can participate in any event in any location. This year, we are proud to acknowledge two runners who supported TAPS in the prestigious Boston Marathon! Andre Karr Andre Karr was fi
Grief and Mental Wellbeing in the New Year Grief and Mental Wellbeing in the New Year Grief and Mental Wellbeing in the New Year \| TAPS Raylene Moore Another year has come to an end and a fresh new year is beginning. Oftentimes this season comes with thoughts of positivity, goal setting, and self-reflection, but for those of us coping with the loss of a loved one, the start of a new year can feel daunting. Whether the loss was decades ago or very recent, the dawn of a new year can leave us yearning for our loved ones, and we can often
Saturday Morning Message: Self Care While Grieving Saturday Morning Message: Self Care While Grieving Saturday Morning Message: Self Care While Grieving Carol Lane Good Morning, Grieving the loss of a loved one takes a toll on our emotions, body, and mind. During these times, the most important thing we can do is to take care of ourselves as best we can. In today's message, survivors share what they do to take care of themselves. As you read these responses, please feel free to adopt any of these ideas. Sharing what works for us is healing a
Voices of the Love Lives On Act of 2023 Voices of the Love Lives On Act of 2023 Voices of the Love Lives On Act of 2023 \| TAPS TAPS Why We Advocate TAPS is dedicated to supporting all military and veteran survivors, and part of this commitment is advocating for program and service improvements that can directly impact life after loss. We work closely with elected officials; the Departments of Defense, Veterans Affairs, Education, Labor, and Health and Human Services; and state and local governments to make sure survivor concerns
Voices of 9/11 - Reflections of Three TAPS Survivors Voices of 9/11 - Reflections of Three TAPS Survivors Voices of 9/11 - Reflections of Three TAPS Survivors \| TAPS Lisa Dolan Zach Laychak Robert Pycior Nineteen years ago, we woke up to the most beautiful sunny September day. Little did we know that before the day came to an end, we would be forever changed. The events of September 11, 2001, marked a turning point, for individual families, for our nation, and for the world. So many in our TAPS family were directly impacted by the terrorist atta
The Love Languages of Grief The Love Languages of Grief The Love Languages of Grief \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt When it comes to mourning and how others can best help us, there’s no one right way. Every person and every loss is unique. The people we grieve the loss of — as well as the circumstances of the loss — are also one-of-a-kind. After a significant loss, what we think and feel inside, in what ways we’re able to express those thoughts and feelings and how we feel supported by others vary from person to person and loss to
The Year of Getting Off My Couch The Year of Getting Off My Couch The Year of Getting Off My Couch Linda Ambard For those of you who have followed my journey, you realize I am closing in on being five years from the loss of the man who meant the world to me. I would gladly have given my life for his because I recognize he was that bright and shining star who made the world a better place, but trading places was never an option. For those of you who have watched or read about my journey, you have seen my struggles and you
Sports, Shopping and Shakespeare Sports, Shopping and Shakespeare Sports, Shopping and Shakespeare \| TAPS Leigh Edmonds Over the last several years, TAPS has developed amazing relationships through our Sports and Entertainment program providing families with opportunities to honor their heroes and create new memories. Teams and individual players from the NFL, NBA, Major League Baseball and NCAA have created memorable experiences for TAPS families and they step up even more during the holiday season, bringing joy during what
Run and Remember Team: Finding the FUN in Fundraising Run and Remember Team: Finding the FUN in Fundraising Run and Remember Team: Finding the FUN in Fundraising Betsy Beard Since October of 2000 when the first Run and Remember Team of two runners raised nearly five thousand dollars, fundraising has been a part of the team’s efforts on behalf of TAPS. Not only do TAPS runners spend time training for the event, but they also use their skills and ingenuity to raise awareness and raise funds in support of the TAPS mission. Some runners run only
Handling the Holidays Handling the Holidays Handling the Holidays Darcie Sims The holidays are coming and I’m not ready. Everything seems to sparkle and there is always so much to do! It is a festive time, filled with joyous occasions and family gatherings. But when your family circle has been broken by death, holidays and special days may only serve to remind you of the empty space at the table, the hole in your heart. I am not sure if I will ever again be ready for the holidays. The world has simply gone mad
Saturday Morning Message: What It's Like to Attend a TAPS Seminar or Retreat Saturday Morning Message: What It's Like to Attend a TAPS Seminar or Retreat Saturday Morning Message: What It's Like to Attend a TAPS Seminar or Retreat Carol Lane Good Morning, Deciding to go to a TAPS event can be difficult for the new survivor. Although they are held in various parts of the country, travel is often involved. The survivor asks, “What will this event be like?” or “How will I be treated?” I posed this week’s question asking survivors to share what a TAPS seminar was like. T
The Gift of Leadership The Gift of Leadership The Gift of Leadership \| TAPS Coleen Bowman As the holiday season is upon us, I can’t help but look back and reflect on the past eight years. Rob and Coleen Bowman It was 2012. The weather was changing and the mornings were cool as we were approaching late fall. The chats that my husband Rob and I had sitting outside a Starbucks coffee shop in San Antonio, Texas are permanently etched in my mind. We spent our mornings drinking coffee and reflecting on our near
Partnership Creates Healing Connections To Nature and Peers For TAPS Families Partnership Creates Healing Connections To Nature and Peers For TAPS Families Partnership Creates Healing Connections To Nature and Peers For TAPS Families \| TAPS Rachel Hunsell TAPS Outdoors hosted our first TAPS Togethers National Park Fishing Day with Atlanta area TAPS families on Saturday, June 25 at Hyde Farm Park in the Chattahoochee River National Recreation Area. This is the first of ten such events in partnership with the N
Saturday Morning Message: Thankful for TAPS Saturday Morning Message: Thankful for TAPS Saturday Morning Message: Thankful for TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, Because it is Thanksgiving weekend, this Saturday Morning Message features a list of resources TAPS provides that I am thankful for as a survivor. Since a list of all the programs would make this message too long, I’ve only included some of the programs. Visit TAPS programs web page to learn more. The picture today is from the TAPS website showing survivors participating in t
Self Care Self Care Self Care Leslie McCaddon Reconnecting…with myself One of the things I heard early on at TAPS, as well as from my counselor at home, is the importance of self-care. I’m a mother of three young children. Whenever this term “self-care” is thrown around in my presence I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. Photo Courtesy of Leslie McCaddon Take care of myself? Sure! I try to shower, most days. I eat well…well, at least when I eat the kid’s leftovers! I sleep. Sure, I sleep!
Finding Strength Together, on the Trail Finding Strength Together, on the Trail Finding Strength Together, on the Trail \| TAPS Rachel Hunsell The Grand Canyon has a way of changing you. You push through extreme difficulty, foster a community through a common bond, and learn that you are stronger than you believed and capable of doing whatever you set your mind to. On our TAPS Expeditions we truly remember the love, celebrate the life, and share the journey. The small group of survivors who recently trekked nearly 50 miles in
Letters from TAPS: From the Volunteer Coordinator Letters from TAPS: From the Volunteer Coordinator Letters from TAPS: From the Volunteer Coordinator Jerome Tennille Dear TAPS Family, Nearly twenty-eight years ago in 1985, the General Assembly of the United Nations designated December 5 of every year as International Volunteer Day. It is an annual celebration of all that is achieved by volunteers around the world. As we observe that special day and enter the season of winter holidays, with their emphasis on light and warmth and giving, I
Carry the Load Carry the Load Carry the Load Marie Campbell Reminding Americans About the Real Meaning of Memorial Day As a survivor, it was an honor to participate in the Carry the Load national relay as it went through Washington, D.C. as we made our journey from the Lincoln Memorial into Arlington National Cemetery honoring America's fallen heroes. I was in the company of other military surviving families, battle buddies, and a few wonderful supporters of TAPS. Participants carried items of special mea
Saturday Morning Message: How Do Dreams Help Our Grief Journey? Saturday Morning Message: How Do Dreams Help Our Grief Journey? Saturday Morning Message: How Do Dreams Help Our Grief Journey? \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, Dreams of our loved ones come to some of us and not to others. This is normal. If you have dreams, talking or writing about those dreams can be healing. This week, survivors shared their dreams and how those dreams helped their grieving process. They wrote about their continued understanding of the connection with their loved ones t
teams4taps 2022 Replay teams4taps 2022 Replay teams4taps 2022 Replay \| TAPS TAPS Thanks to the generosity and hospitality of sports organizations across the country and the United Kingdom, TAPS helped surviving families honor their heroes and make incredible memories alongside their favorite athletes and teams. Take a look at some of our favorite teams4taps moments from 2022. The San Francisco 49ers created a special experience for a TAPS family at their November 13 Salute to Service game, which included
Children’s Bereavement and Emotional Wellness, Part 2 Children’s Bereavement and Emotional Wellness, Part 2 Children’s Bereavement and Emotional Wellness, Part 2 Andrea Hug As grieving parents, we are concerned about the care and support we are able to offer our grieving children. How can we help children bounce back when they have experienced a profound loss or trauma? How do we offer good bereavement support for children? How do we help others to help our children? Consider the following topics in light of your child’s loss. Go through the bul
Finding Your Way through the Holidays Finding Your Way through the Holidays Finding Your Way through the Holidays Andrea Hug A Guide for Parents of Grieving Children The holiday season is here. At least that’s what the advertisers think. We hear “Happy Holidays,” “Feliz Navidad,” and “Happy New Year” all the time and wonder if we will ever be happy again. For those of us who are grieving, getting from one day to the next may be all we can manage during this season. Grieving is the hardest and most demanding work you will eve
Saturday Morning Message: Take Good Care Saturday Morning Message: Take Good Care Saturday Morning Message: Take Good Care \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, This is the first Saturday Morning Message for 2019, so it seemed appropriate to put a picture of a clock counting down to the new year. In an article written by Betsy Beard titled "A Year Without My Loved One In It," she lists 10 resolutions that might be appropriate for a grieving person. This week survivors shared what they are going to do to take care of themselves in the new
Grief 101: Advice to New TAPS Survivors Grief 101: Advice to New TAPS Survivors Grief 101: Advice to New TAPS Survivors TAPS The Saturday Message is a letter that comes through email to TAPS parents, spouses, siblings, and friends. It includes thoughts from the survivors themselves. When one asks a question, the others are free to respond. Asked recently what advice they would give to a newly bereaved person, TAPS survivors responded with powerful and diverse answers. DEB BONN Surviving mother of Ensign Elizabeth Bonn This will
Photos: teams4taps WNBA teams4taps at Women's National Basketball Association All-Star Team v USA Basketball Women's National Team WNBA All-Star Team v USA Basketball Women's National Team \| TAPS TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (20 photos) teams4taps, photos, military survivor Flickr Album Event Photos: TAPS Families attended the Women's National Basketball Association All-Star Team v USA Basketball Women's Na
Photos: Team TAPS Marine Corps Marathon Team TAPS Marine Corps Marathon, 10K, and Kids Run Marine Corps Marathon, 10K, and Kids Run \| Team TAPS TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (439 photos) Team Taps, Marine Corps Marathon, 10K, and Kids Run, Photos Team TAPS Marine Corps Marathon, 10K, and Kids Run Photos Flickr Album Event Photos, Team TAPS participate in the Marine Corps Marathon, 10K, and Kids Run October 27 to 28, 2018
Faces of TAPS: Surviving Spouse Shelley Kea's Story Faces of TAPS: Surviving Spouse Shelley Keas’s Story Faces of TAPS: Surviving Spouse Shelley Keas’s Story \| TAPS TAPS Shelley Keas Faces of TAPS is a digital content series where, in their own words, survivors both celebrate the lives of their military loved ones and reflect on their personal grief journey. Shelley Keas is the surviving spouse of United States Army Staff Sergeant Jeffrey Dallas Keas, who died from cancer on July 5, 2013, while stationed at Fort Hood, Texas. Shelley has honore
The Transformation Book offers practical ways to heal after trauma 'The Transformation': Book offers practical ways to heal after trauma 'The Transformation': Book offers practical ways to heal after trauma \| TAPS Lalaine Estella “The Transformation: Discovering Wholeness and Healing After Trauma,” by James Gordon, MD, is available on Smile.Amazon.com. If you select TAPS - Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors as your designated charity, a portion of sales of all products go to support TAPS programs. You could look at Dr. James Gordon’s new book, “The
30 Fields, 1 Dream 30 Fields, 1 Dream 30 Fields, 1 Dream \| TAPS TAPS Quiet moments alone on deployment create space in the mind for reflection, missing home, and planning for the future. While deployed and separated from his family in 2014, Air Force Colonel Ronald “Erick” (call sign Fangs) Gilbert used one such quiet moment to set an ambitious goal to visit all 30 Major League Baseball stadiums with his family — wife, Kasia, and sons, Dane and Chase — before his oldest, Dane turned 18 in July 2024. At the hear
Military Child: Acknowledge the Sacrifice Your Children and Teenagers Have Made this April Military Child: Acknowledge the Sacrifice Your Children and Teenagers Have Made this April Military Child: Acknowledge the Sacrifice Your Children and Teenagers Have Made this April \| TAPS TAPS April is the Month of the Military Child, and while there are many ways to recognize military children during this month — like wearing purple on Purple Up Day, April 15, there are also opportunities to celebrate our surviving children and teenagers at home by acknowledging their sacrifice and connec
Volunteer Peer Mentors Give Their Hearts to TAPS Mission Volunteer Peer Mentors Give Their Hearts to TAPS Mission Volunteer Peer Mentors Give Their Hearts to TAPS Mission \| TAPS TAPS More than 1,100 strong, our compassionate Peer Mentors continue to give their hearts and volunteer their time to TAPS, recognizing how much their own Peer Mentors supported them during their early days of grief — and paying it forward. As one survivor shared, her relationship with her Peer Mentor has been invaluable during her grief journey: “I was matched with m
Request a Community Resource Report for Tailored Grief Support Request a Community Resource Report for Tailored Grief Support Request a Community Resource Report for Tailored Grief Support Lalaine Estella In addition to peer support and services that TAPS provides, we also connect survivors to grief resources close to home. Upon request, TAPS can provide a detailed report of support groups in your community. We do the research, make phone calls to group facilitators and ensure the groups are an appropriate fit for you. We find out if groups are acti
TAPS is Always Here For You TAPS is Always Here For You TAPS is Always Here For You TAPS The holidays are a festive time, filled with joyous occasions and family gatherings. But when your family circle has been broken by death, each holiday is a reminder of the empty spot at the table, the hole in your heart. As we set the dishes and count the silverware for Thanksgiving, we are acutely aware of the empty places at the family table. We try to find something, anything, to be thankful for. We hold our breath and hope t
Saturday Morning Message: Treating Yourself Saturday Morning Message: Treating Yourself Treating Yourself \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good morning, The idea for this week’s topic came from reading an article from the TAPS blog, "Redefining Self-Care in the Age of COVID-19," written by Grace Seamon-Lahiff. She not only showed how self-care has evolved over time, but offered some simple ways to accomplish it during this difficult time. For example, she wrote, “Is anxiety trying to tell you that only catastrophe i
Reflections of a First Time Mentor Reflections of a First Time Mentor Reflections of a First Time Mentor Robert Statchen One of the many TAPS activities offered throughout the year is the summer overnight Good Grief Camp-Out for children who have lost a parent or sibling. I was honored to have the opportunity to volunteer at one of these camps last June and would like to share my experience. In addition to the tragic death of a loved one, many TAPS children also experience a break with the military lifestyle they have kn
Saturday Morning Message: Letting Others Know You Love Them Saturday Morning Message: Letting Others Know You Love Them Saturday Morning Message: Letting Others Know You Love Them Carol Lane Good Morning, This week’s question centered around letting others know that you love them while you are grieving the loss of an important person in your life. This is not easy - especially when you are early in your grief journey. When you are new to grief, it can be hard to focus on anything for more than a few minutes at a time. What do you do? For me, I ac
Klinger's Korner: A Season for Presence Klinger's Korner: A Season for Presence Klinger's Korner: A Season for Presence \| TAPS Andy McNiel The holiday season brings families and friends together, creating opportunities to make and share special memories and create or carry on traditions. But, in the midst of intense grief, the holidays can feel like a burden rather than a blessed time with family and friends. When children are in the home, you may feel the need to maintain positive, festive energy so they can still enjoy this speci
Seek Reconciliation, Not Resolution Seek Reconciliation, Not Resolution Seek Reconciliation, Not Resolution Alan Wolfelt “Mourning never really ends. Only as time goes on, it erupts less frequently.” ~ Anonymous How do you ever find your way out of the wilderness of your grief? You don't have to dwell there forever, do you? The good news is that no, you don't have to dwell there forever. If you follow the trail markers on your journey through the wilderness, you will find your way out. But just as with any significant exper
Veteran climbs Denali to raise money for TAPS Veteran climbs Denali to raise money for TAPS Veteran climbs Denali to raise money for TAPS Kerry McGinley For Seth Whitfield, eight days of brutal winds, near-zero visibility and frigid temperatures over potentially lethal terrain on North America’s highest peak wasn’t just about challenging himself physically; it was also a chance to raise awareness and funds for TAPS. Whitfield used his personal vacation as the basis of a campaign to raise $10,600 for TAPS, a nonprofit that supports the fa
Stronger Every Day Stronger Every Day Stronger Every Day Emily Munoz Find out how you can become stronger every day by emailing innerwarrior@taps.org. For many people, this call manifests itself in a need for purposeful movement. Whether it’s emotional or spiritual exploration, perspective changes or physical activity, movement is proof of life. It’s an indication that, while we may feel left behind in a world without our loved ones, we’re still called to lead full, rich lives that honor them and ourselves.
Grief, Loss and Autism Grief, Loss and Autism Grief, Loss and Autism \| TAPS Andy McNeil Each person within a family experiences grief after a death in their own way. April is National Autism Awareness Month, and at TAPS, we recognize the unique ways that grief might be expressed by children and adults on the autism spectrum. We strive to make our programs and services available to all who are grieving and acknowledge that, though grief might look different from person to person, all people deserve care and support.
'My brother brought us together’ 'My brother brought us together’ My brother brought us together \| TAPS Deb Lucey In May 2013, I attended the TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar and went to watch Rolling Thunder, the massive motorcycle rally in Washington, D.C., that occurs every Memorial Day weekend. Hundreds of thousands of members on motorcycles do a slow ride, called the Ride to Freedom, to honor the military fallen and their loved ones. The ride starts at the Pentagon and heads to the monuments on the National Mall.
Seven Grief Strategies for the New Year Seven Grief Strategies for the New Year Seven Grief Strategies for the New Year Brad Stetson The old saying is true: "If there is an elephant in the room, introduce him." No good purpose is served by denial, yet we are very good at it. And when it comes to facing the pain of our grief with eyes open, we often turn away instead. But when we have a psychological elephant in the room of our mind, we should acknowledge him, and plan a way to shrink him down to a manageable size then get him on hi
Discover a New Sense of Meaning and Purpose by Becoming a TAPS Peer Mentor Discover a New Sense of Meaning and Purpose by Becoming a TAPS Peer Mentor Discover a New Sense of Meaning and Purpose by Becoming a TAPS Peer Mentor \| TAPS Michelle Knuppe Peer Mentors are the foundation of the TAPS mission to provide compassionate care to all those grieving the death of a military loved one. Mentors offer support in ways that only someone who has walked the unique path of military loss can provide. Survivors often express gratitude for the support they received from a me
Healing Stories Transcend Cultural Boundaries Healing Stories Transcend Cultural Boundaries Healing Stories Transcend Cultural Boundaries Bevin Landrum Not every TAPS survivor is able to attend one of our healing events. Family or health constraints may leave us feeling isolated and alone in our grief. For our families, their TAPS Survivor Care Team contact, our community-based care connections and the TAPS Magazine may be the only regular supports they have. When you add on a parallel cultural grief experience it can feel overwhelming.
Wearing Your Heart on Your Sleeve Wearing Your Heart on Your Sleeve Wearing Your Heart on Your Sleeve \| TAPS Matt Daud TAPS seminars and events are always full of colorful and distinct shirts — red, black, white, green, teal, purple, blue, gray, yellow, and burgundy. We wear them to show our connection to TAPS and to each other. When I am at the airport, I am always on the lookout for anyone wearing one of the unmistakable TAPS shirts as I walk through the terminal. I pass thousands of passengers during busy times and see a
Get Texts From Your TAPS Family! Get Texts From Your TAPS Family! Get Texts From Your TAPS Family! TAPS TAPS is expanding our mobile messaging capabilities with an exciting new program that allows us to text care group reminders, event invitations, deadlines and more to mobile phones in the US. Want to sign up? Just text TAPS to 95577. All TAPS text messages will come from the short code 95577. Some of you may already receive personal text messages from our Survivor Care Team or other staff with whom you have a relations
Saturday Morning Message: Uplifting Our Spirits Saturday Morning Message: Uplifting Our Spirits Saturday Morning Message: Uplifting Our Spirits \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, Uplifting our spirits on the grief journey can sometimes be a daunting task. This week survivors share ideas about what they find useful to raise their feelings when they are down. One of the methods sent by Winona, spouse of Clifford, is gardening. She sent this beautiful picture of her garden — you will read more below about how she accomplishes a more peaceful pe
Saturday Morning Message: Handling the Holidays Saturday Morning Message: Handling the Holidays Saturday Morning Message: Handling the Holidays Carol Lane Good Morning, The flickering light of candles in a darkened room always has a calming effect on me. I appreciate the soothing nature of their gentle glow during the shorter days of the holiday season. Listening to peaceful music can also be helpful. This week’s song sent in by Merry, mother of Wesley, will be perfect for those times when my mind is jumping from one thing to another, whi
Klinger's Korner: Controlling What You Can - Attitude Klinger's Korner: Controlling What You Can - Attitude Klinger's Korner: Controlling What You Can - Attitude \| TAPS Andy McNiel The fall season brings with it several transitions each year. Most of us see a change in the weather, temperature, and natural environment. Many will experience the change of colors as the leaves burst with orange, red, and brown. Others may have a slight shift from the heat of summer to more moderate temperatures of fall. Children and teenagers transition back into a
TAPS Casework Assistance Available to Military Survivors During Government Shutdown TAPS Casework Assistance Available to Military Survivors During Government Shutdown TAPS Casework Assistance Available to Military Survivors During Government Shutdown TAPS TAPS as a non-profit unaffiliated with the government remains open in event of any shutdown. We are here for any survivors with questions about benefits and in need of resource connections. With a government shutdown, there is no way for the government to pay the death gratuity ($100,000) benefit. This benefit is typic
Photos: Carry the Load with Team TAPS and TAPS Togethers Carry the Load with Team TAPS and TAPS Togethers Carry the Load with Team TAPS and TAPS Togethers Photos \| TAPS TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (75 photos) taps togethers, team taps, survivors Flickr Album Event Photos: TAPS Families meet to honor their heroes nationwide during Carry the Load during the month of May 2024.
Run and Remember Team: Diary of a Runner Run and Remember Team: Diary of a Runner Run and Remember Team: Diary of a Runner Bethany Crudele Excerpted from Marine Corps Times' Battle Rattle blog and reprinted with permission. www.marinecorpstimes.com September 13, 2012 This year, I am running the Marine Corps Marathon as a member of Team “Doc” Almazan. While I never met Army Sergeant David Almazan, a combat medic killed in Iraq in 2006, I’ve run several races in memory of him and in support of his surviving wife, Salina Jimene
Fargo Marathon Fargo Marathon Fargo Marathon Rachael Hill On May 19th I ran my first full marathon in Fargo, ND with the TAPS Run and Remember team. I have had people ask me, “Why would you want to run 26.2 miles? That’s crazy!” Yes, it is definitely crazy but in my mind if you can run a marathon, you can do anything! My running adventures began in the summer of 2009. We had been in Alaska for not quite a year and I randomly decided I wanted to run a half marathon. Jeff was always very supportive of what
5 Ways to a Healthier Summer (Even if Your Heart’s Not In It) 5 Ways to a Healthier Summer (Even if Your Heart’s Not In It) 5 Ways to a Healthier Summer (Even if Your Heart’s Not In It) Emily Munoz Summer, with its long days of light and warmth, is also a great time to stretch yourself emotionally and physically. Listen to nature’s cues to grow, just a little, even if you’re not feeling the sunshine (yet). 1. Remember you’re not too hurt for simple pleasures. It may seem that way in early grief, when loss leaves you hollow. But trying to find small
Grief and Sleep Grief and Sleep Grief and Sleep \| TAPS Heather Stang 7 Tips to Cope with Insomnia After Loss Coping with grief isn’t easy. In addition to the emotional toll, there are a myriad of physical side effects. Sleeplessness is perhaps one of the most frustrating symptoms – when you are sleepy and can’t sleep it just adds insult to injury. While insomnia is considered a common grief reaction, sleeplessness should not be ignored, but tended to mindfully. When we don’t get enough sleep it impacts
Myths about Children and Grief Myths about Children and Grief Myths about Children and Grief Darcie Sims Children are often shuttled off or ignored by adults who may be grieving themselves and do not have the energy, resources, or understanding necessary to help them. Society tends to pacify itself with the rationale that children are resilient and thus fails to recognize that children need as much compassion and support as adults require in adapting to dramatic or traumatic changes in their lives. Loss, regardless of t
Running for Andrew Running for Andrew Running for Andrew \| Team TAPS Jaime Boris “The Marine Corps Marathon was the most gratifying and humbling yet toughest physical and emotional experience I’ve had since burying my son. It was heart-healing in so many ways.”—Diana Cross, surviving mother Running a marathon was always on Diana Cross’s bucket list. She and her husband, Dan, found TAPS after the death of their son, Army National Guard SGT Andrew Cross, in 2009. “When I found out I could run in the Marine Corp
Living the Legacy: Picture the Fallen Living the Legacy: Picture the Fallen Living the Legacy ~ Picture the Fallen Jessica Dumont-Oatman It has recently occurred to me that we—all of us American citizens—are the legacy of our American soldiers. We owe them our lives—lives that must be lived to their fullest potential. And this is the greatest tribute we could possibly give. ~ Annette Bridges, freelance writer from Texas. A picture is worth a thousand words. That’s all I need to say when someone views the photo of my brother’
Battlefield Promises Battlefield Promises Battlefield Promises Emily Munoz This week, I followed along on Facebook as a friend, his wife and their church lived out a 2004 battlefield promise. I am still reeling from how they cared, how they mobilized and what the lessons are for us all. An Army veteran who’s pretty impressive with his handcycle, his integrity and his relentless pursuit of positivity, my friend Ed decided that, when his Iraqi interpreter’s move to the U.S. finally started to become a reality, t
Holding a Safe Space for Men Holding a Safe Space for Men Holding a Safe Space for Men \| TAPS Lalaine Estella What we’ve come to know at TAPS is that men and women grieve differently. Men can be more stoic and reserved, while women are more expressive. While men in general tend to grieve more privately, women often feel more comfortable grieving with the support of others. Men often wear a public face of strength hoping not to show their pain, but in reality, they need just as much care and support after losing someone
Well-Informed Support for Survivors of Trauma Well-Informed Support for Survivors of Trauma Well-Informed Support for Survivors of Trauma \| TAPS Shauna Springer Editor’s note: For more than 10 years, TAPS has comforted and cared for more than 11,500 surviving family members who have lost a military loved one to suicide. Each day, an average of three to four new survivors of suicide loss come to TAPS, and we welcome them with the warm embrace that can only come from those who truly understand their journey. This is the last installment
International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day \| TAPS Carla Stumpf Patton Saturday, November 18, 2023, is International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day (also referred to as ISOSLD or Survivor Day). It is acknowledged as a day of healing throughout the world where all those impacted by suicide loss can connect, honor the lives of their loved ones, and share experiences of support, encouragement, and hope. According to the American Foundation for Suicid
International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day \| TAPS Carla Stumpf Patton Saturday, November 19, 2022, is International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day (also referred to as ISOSLD or Survivor Day). It is a day of healing throughout the world where all those impacted by suicide loss can connect with one another, honor the lives of their loved ones, and share experiences of support, encouragement, and hope. According to the American Foundation for Suici
Memorial Day: A National Debt, A Personal Price Memorial Day: A National Debt, A Personal Price Memorial Day: A National Debt, A Personal Price \| TAPS Emily Munoz Memorial Day was a first step toward national unity in a deeply divided country. With origins in the aftermath of the Civil War, it was designated for the purpose of “strewing with flowers, or otherwise decorating the graves of comrades who died in defense of their country during the late rebellion, and whose bodies now lie in almost every city, village and hamlet church-yard in
The Mourner's Bill of Rights The Mourner's Bill of Rights The Mourner's Bill of Rights Alan Wolfelt As a bereaved person, you have certain rights that others must not take away from you. In fact, it is the very upholding of these rights that makes healing possible. 1. You have the right to experience your own unique grief. No one else will grieve in exactly the same way you do. Don't allow others to tell you what you should or should not be feeling. 2. You have the right to talk about your grief. Talking about your
Finding Joy in the Midst of Despair Finding Joy in the Midst of Despair Finding Joy in the Midst of Despair Darcie Sims The value of humor in grief resolution is sometimes hard to see, especially in the early weeks, months and even years of grief. Yet, without a sense of humor, the world would be a dark, dreary, and unforgiving place. A sense of humor is a valuable tool for coping with grief. Although your sense of humor may appear to have been deleted from your being, if you can allow it to return (even just a little) th
Picking Up the Pieces Picking Up the Pieces Picking Up the Pieces \| TAPS Chris Beck Life after the loss of a loved one can shatter us and bring us to our knees, lost, not knowing what to do next. As the pieces of our lives scatter after a loss, finding a way to put them back together can seem overwhelming. Life’s complexities have many similarities to jigsaw puzzles — you sort and gather pieces, then fit them into your unique picture. I worked 55 years to build my puzzle, adding pieces along the way: my wife,
Dealing with the Media in Wake of Tragedy Dealing with the Media in Wake of Tragedy Dealing with the Media in Wake of Tragedy \| TAPS Ami Neiberger-Miller For many surviving families who have lost a loved one in the military, our interactions with the media are interwoven with our experiences in the days immediately after our loved one dies. We encounter the reporters on our front porch, field phone calls from the Associated Press, and might even scan pictures to share. As a seasoned public relations professional, I am no stranger
More Than a Game More Than a Game More Than a Game \| TAPS Nicole Murray A TAPS surviving child and her TAPS Military Mentor with their take their position at the start of the Washington Nationals Game, TAPS survivors and their Fallen Heroes were honored on field as part of the Nationals Memorial Day Remembrances. (Nationals Staff Photographer) I have never been to a baseball game without thinking of my late grandfather, who raised me after I lost my father at a young age. I like to think he’s watching
Donor Spotlight: Dignity Memorial Donor Spotlight: Dignity Memorial® Donor Spotlight: Dignity Memorial \| TAPS TAPS The personal sacrifices made by members of the armed forces and their families cannot be taken for granted. We deeply appreciate those who have served our country with courage and selflessness, and Dignity Memorial® providers are honored to do our part in turn by caring for our military service members, veterans, and their families. We are a team of dedicated, local funeral service professionals deeply rooted
A Four-Part Plan to Support Survivors of Trauma A Four-Part Plan to Support Survivors of Trauma A Four-Part Plan to Support Survivors of Trauma \| TAPS TAPS For more than 10 years, TAPS has comforted and cared for more than 11,500 surviving family members who have lost a military loved one to suicide. Each day, an average of three to four new survivors of suicide loss in the pain of grief come to us, and we welcome them with the warm embrace that can only come from those who truly understand their journey. Over the years, TAPS has develop
Run and Remember: 50-50 Runner Run and Remember: 50-50 Runner Run and Remember: 50-50 Runner TAPS One man’s mission to support TAPS We live in an amazingly beautiful country, blessed not only by physical beauty, but with a rich cultural diversity. Every state I've run in is a gem of natural splendor, each city a monument to American prosperity, every person a testament to our unique national character. Our country is truly exceptional. And the wisdom I've gained thus far in my travels is that Americans still love their c
Saturday Morning Message: Remembering Our Favorite Vacation Spots Saturday Morning Message: Remembering Our Favorite Vacation Spots Remembering Our Favorite Vacation Spots \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, I had never traveled to Washington, D.C. until my son, Bryon, was stationed there. He invited my husband and I down to see him and gave us a tour. I was fascinated. After Bryon’s passing, I learned that TAPS hosts a seminar in Washington, D.C., each year over Memorial Day Weekend, so I decided to attend. When my plane arrived, I w
Father's Club Father's Club Father's Club Bob Bagosy Four years ago on August 16, 2009 Tommy's friend and hooch mate Cpl. Nick Roush, U.S. Army Special Ops, was killed in action in Afghanistan while serving with a MARSOC Special Operations Team. As I found out later, Nick and Tommy took turns on patrols; he night Nick was killed he had volunteered to take my son's patrol. The vehicle ran over an IED and Nick died. Tommy never mentioned to me what happened, nor did I notice the black bracelet he wore o
7 Ways to Help Grieving Children During the Holidays 7 Ways to Help Grieving Children During the Holidays 7 Ways to Help Grieving Children During the Holidays \| TAPS Heather Stang Grief during the holidays serves up a perfect storm where joyous memories crash against reality and expectations, something that is especially tough when it’s a child who’s grieving. I know this firsthand. On October 18, 1977, my uncle Doug died by suicide. I was 7 years old. While I don’t remember the specifics of the Thanksgiving and Christmas that followed, what I
Saturday Morning Message: Dream Retreats Saturday Morning Message: Dream Retreats Saturday Morning Message: Dream Retreats Carol Lane Good morning, The question this week asked where would you like to go if money were not a problem. I have a love for music, so going somewhere to hear good music and perhaps do a bit of dancing would be a treat for me. This picture came from a TAPS event called the Colorado Celebrity Classic Songwriters Show which happened in 2015. It featured country music, but I like all music and would go anywhere
Saturday Morning Message: Self Care Part Two Saturday Morning Message: Self Care Part Two Saturday Morning Message: Self Care Part Two Carol Lane Good Morning, Helping yourself when you are grieving may not seem like a priority, but this week survivors continued to share strategies that have helped them take care of themselves during these difficult times. There were so many responses to this question that the replies were carried over for two weeks. Read what others have done to help themselves while honoring their loved ones and chos
After Grief: The Process of Healing After Grief: The Process of Healing After Grief: The Process of Healing Howard Winokuer Benjamin Franklin wrote, "only two things in life are certain, death and taxes." Death is something that affects us all. No one is immune. Death is sometimes expected, sometimes unexpected. It happens to parents, grand-parents, friends, relatives, pets, and others. Death often takes away something that is very precious to us and leaves pain and grief in its wake. The pain that is associated with grief can
In Search of Joy In Search of Joy In Search of Joy Darcie Sims Finding Your Way Through the Darkness Do you know how long it took me to allow laughter and joy to return to my life? Do you know how far it is from this side of the page to your side? Do you know how difficult it is to write about death? It was a long journey. It took me thirty years to get from your side of this page to mine...a long time...actually a whole lifetime! I liked my other life. In fact, I loved it! I hadn't intended to be h
Vice President and Dr. Jill Biden Surprise our TAPS Children at Camp Pendleton Camp Out Vice President and Dr. Jill Biden Surprise our TAPS Children at Camp Pendleton Camp Out Vice President and Dr. Jill Biden Surprise our TAPS Children at Camp Pendleton Camp Out TAPS Wow! What a week for our children who attended the TAPS/USO Good Grief Camp Out in Southern California sponsored in part by generous grants from Northrup Grumman! They were greeted to a surprise visit by the Vice President and Dr. Jill Biden. Each child had the opportunity to personally meet the Vice President and
Excerpt from “Healing Your Grieving Heart After a Military Death” Excerpt from “Healing Your Grieving Heart After a Military Death” Healing Your Grieving Heart Excerpt - TAPS Publication Bonnie Carroll Alan Wolfelt Healing Your Grieving Heart Visit the great outdoors For many people, it is restorative and energizing to spend time outside. You may find nature’s timeless beauty healing. The sound of a bird singing or the awesome presence of an old tree can help put things in perspective. Rediscover what it feels like to walk barefoot in the grass or the san
10K for Dad 10K for Dad 10K for Dad \| TAPS Janet Kramer Surviving Daughter Runs with the Marines to Honor Her Dad Sitting at Dad's graveside at Arlington National Cemetery, I took a breath and looked around. I could hear the announcer's voice from the finish line at the Marine Corps Marathon on Sunday, October 29, 2023. I carefully undid the safety pins from my Team TAPS racing shirt and removed my race bib and laminated photo of Dad. I propped both up against the tombstone. Then I took off my 10K
Guilt—What It Is Guilt—What It Is Guilt—What It Is Bob Baugher And What to Do About It After your loved one died, did you find yourself saying things such as: I should’ve, I shouldn’t have, If only, I wish I would’ve, or why didn’t I? If so, you are part of a very large group of humans who have felt guilty following a death. It doesn’t matter whether the death took place thousands of miles away or in your home. It matters less whether your loved one died in an accident, in a war setting, or due to an inter
Saturday Morning Message: Changes in Our Lives Saturday Morning Message: Changes in Our Lives Saturday Morning Message: Changes in Our Lives \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, This week's question made me really stop and think. With the beginning of March, things in nature are changing here in Vermont. The sap is beginning to run, and those who make maple syrup are beginning to get ready. The sap is starting to go up into the trees to make the flowers so new trees will begin to replace the old. I think it is the same with my thoughts. My o
Saturday Morning Message: Handling the Balance of Life Saturday Morning Message: Handling the Balance of Life Saturday Morning Message: Handling the Balance of Life Carol Lane Good Morning, This week's question about how each of us handle the emotional events of our lives was reflective, so I chose a picture showing a survivor taking time to contemplate. She is sitting by the ocean, but others may like to take a walk in the woods or just find somewhere quiet to think. In the early days of my grief journey, I went to the cemetery to sit on a ben
Saturday Morning Message: Gotcha! Survivors share the pranks their loved ones pulled off Saturday Morning Message: Gotcha! Survivors share the pranks their loved ones pulled off Gotcha! Survivors share the pranks their loved ones pulled off \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good morning, This picture comes from Sue, mother of Marcus. It shows the glint in her son’s eyes as he surprised the family wearing a Santa hat. This seemed to be the perfect opening for this week’s Saturday Morning Message with the topic of pranks. At this time of uncertainty, I am glad to share me
Saturday Morning Message: TAPS Seminar Enjoyment Saturday Morning Message: TAPS Seminar Enjoyment Saturday Morning Message: TAPS Seminar Enjoyment Carol Lane Good Morning, Going to a TAPS Seminar for the first time can be stressful, especially if you are attending alone. I remember the first time I flew into the Reagan National Airport in Washington, D.C., for the TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp held each May. I wasn’t sure what I would find, but when I entered the hotel, there were TAPS staff members waiting to
The Outhouse at Minus 23 Degrees Fahrenheit The Outhouse at Minus 23 Degrees Fahrenheit The Outhouse at Minus 23 Degrees Fahrenheit \| TAPS Benjamin Wolfe Editor's Note: As the mercury rises and signs of rebirth and regrowth sprout up from the same ground that was cold and dormant just days ago, we turn our faces toward the sunshine and prepare for the warmth ahead of us. TAPS Advisory Board Member Benjamin Wolfe reminds us in the words that follow that there is no wrong time or place to reflect on our past experiences and prepare our h
Gratitude, Hope and Godwinks See a Family Through Gratitude, Hope and Godwinks See a Family Through Gratitude, Hope and Godwinks See a Family Through \| TAPS Kathy Bold A grateful and hopeful spirit has helped Maggie Bainbridge through the darkest times, including the six years her husband, Bill, was battling cancer and the four years since he let go of the pain and died in her arms. She is grateful for the time she had with him. “We were so happy,” she says. “I would rather have 18 years with him than none.” She is grateful that retired Ar
Klinger’s Korner: The Strength of the Parent-Child Relationship Klinger’s Korner: The Strength of the Parent-Child Relationship Klinger's Korner: The Strength of the Parent-Child Relationship \| TAPS TAPS “Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of life’s longing for itself. They come through you, but not from you... You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.” ~ Kahlil Gibran, “On Children,” in The Prophet (Knopf, 1923) Through this excerpted quote from his poem, “On Children,” Kahlil
Saturday Morning Message: Strategies for good sleep Saturday Morning Message: Strategies for Good Sleep Saturday Morning Message: Strategies for Good Sleep \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, Sleep can be difficult after the death of a loved one. Some find that all they want to do is sleep and others find that getting enough sleep is a challenge. This week survivors shared their ideas about what they do when sleep eludes them. This article from the TAPS Magazine, “To Sleep or Not to Sleep, That is the Problem" may also be helpful. It offers sugg
Saturday Morning Message: Paying Respects Saturday Morning Message: Paying Respects Saturday Morning Message: Paying Respects \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, While reading the latest TAPS magazine, I came across an article titled “The Love Languages of Grief” written by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. In it, he lists the five primary ways from Gary Chapman’s book “The Five Love Languages” that help us feel loved. When a friend has a loved one die, this article can help us know what to do to make him or her feel our care. The responses this
Saturday Morning Message: Honoring Our Loved Ones Saturday Morning Message: Honoring Our Loved Ones Saturday Morning Message: Honoring Our Loved Ones \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, This week survivors wrote a variety of ways they honor their loved ones. This picture seems to exemplify this. It shows a TAPS parachute with the Army veteran jumper holding the American flag. In this way TAPS honors those who have passed while serving our country. I am going to keep my comments short so you can get to all the wonderful responses that came in th
Lest We Forget: teams4taps Brings 2 Families Together to Honor Their Heroes in Scotland Lest We Forget: teams4taps Brings 2 Families Together to Honor Their Heroes in Scotland Lest We Forget: teams4taps Brings 2 Families Together to Honor Their Heroes in Scotland \| TAPS Kristi Stolzenberg “Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive.” - Anais Nin Great loss has a way of making the world feel larger than you ever noticed. You wonder if anyone will ever understand your pain, or — perhaps more practically — if you’ll ever be able to explain th
3 Step Hiking Guide to Prepare for Any Trail - Even Grief 3 Step Hiking Guide to Prepare for Any Trail - Even Grief 3 Step Hiking Guide to Prepare for Any Trail - Even Grief \| TAPS Rachel Hunsell Article updated: June 3, 2021 TAPS Outdoors invites you to celebrate National Trails Day on Saturday, June 5, 2021, with your fellow survivors across the nation! We know, regardless of any holiday, there is power in pairing movement with time spent outdoors and the impacts are substantial not only to our physical health, but to our mental and emotiona
Go for Five Go for Five Go for Five \| TAPS Don Lipstein Friday, July 17, 2020, started out like any other day. My morning routine: A brief walk outside. Fifteen minutes of Qigong. A short workout that ends with a plank. On this day, however, my workout was interrupted. My son, Joshua, showed up. Josh asked if I would honor him. “How exactly do you want me to do that?” I replied. Simple, Josh said. “Push beyond your three-minute plank. Give me four minutes.” I laughed. That sounded agonizing, at best. A
Keeping Pace Keeping Pace Keeping Pace Rachael Hill On October 26th, 2014 I ran the Marine Corps Marathon with TAPS, my second ever full marathon! Now I have never claimed to be a runner, but completing a marathon had always been on my bucket list. The way I see it if you can run a marathon, you can do just about anything! While training for this marathon, I had to complete many long runs, and while on these long runs my mind would often wander through all sorts of things. One run even brought me to the r
Three Years After Phil was Killed Three Years After Phil was Killed Three Years After Phil was Killed Linda Ambard When Phil was killed, I felt like I was all alone and that somehow I no longer fit in the world I had been a part of since I was 21. It had been many years since I was the center of gossip, but from the early moments less than a week after the funeral, people Phil had worked with were making bets about how long it would take for me to date and remarry. Someone considered it funny enough to tell me about it. Ot
Support Yourself and Your Children Support Yourself & Your Children Support Yourself & Your Children Andrea Hug Through the Holidays The holidays are here… As a parent who is grieving, thinking about the holidays may seem ludicrous, and yet your children will not let them pass without celebration. Children naturally need to find the joy in the season. But it is an overwhelming time with demands that might cause unmanageable stress. It’s helpful to consider how you can ease the demands of the season and still honor your missin
TAPS Volunteer Recognition TAPS Volunteer Recognition TAPS Volunteer Recognition TAPS TAPS is extremely grateful for the overwhelming support we've received in recognition of our efforts to reach out to grieving military families, providing them with compassionate, emotional support and connecting them with multiple resources and TAPS programs. We realize this is an effort we cannot do alone. We are truly thankful for all of our supporters and donors. Now in its eight year,, the Colorado Celebrity Golf Classic b
Support Support Support Rachael Hill Support… Definition of SUPPORT 1: to hold up or serve as a foundation or prop for Support. It seems like such a simple word but yet there is so much weight behind it. We all need support, no matter what may be going on in our lives, and when you lose someone close to you that support is what helps get you through. For me, some friends stepped up right away and have continued to be there for us throughout this journey, some support came from out of nowhere and
A Grateful Nation Pauses to Remember A Grateful Nation Pauses to Remember A Grateful Nation Pauses to Remember \| TAPS Taylor Strong I will never forget how beautiful the weather was on September 15, 2014. It was a crisp fall day, which was unseasonable for southern North Carolina. I was on my way down to a check-up in Wilmington for my pregnancy. Charles and I were expecting our first baby, a girl, due in the beginning of December. On my way down to Wilmington, he called me from Afghanistan to let me know he loved me and he woul
Mending the Family Circle Mending the Family Circle Mending the Family Circle Darcie Sims Coping with the Death of a Loved One Once I lived the American Dream. We were a happy family, military by career and parents by choice. And with the birth of our son, our family was to have been complete…whole…two kids so no one would have to fight over a window in the back seat, two kids because I had a lot of recipes that served four. We called him Big A and he had a big sister named Allie. We were the American Dream, at least
Widow’s Tax Now Completely Eliminated Widow’s Tax Now Completely Eliminated Widow’s Tax Now Completely Eliminated \| TAPS Candace Wheeler TAPS Policy News: TAPS is pleased to announce that on February 1, 2023, surviving military spouses will receive their full Survivor Benefit Plan (SBP) annuity payment from the Department of Defense (DoD) and their full Dependency and Indemnity Compensation (DIC) payment from the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA). The SBP-DIC Offset, or Widow’s Tax, is completely eliminated, and fu
The Art of Cherishing The Art of Cherishing The Art of Cherishing \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt After the death of someone close to you, you enter a time of deep grief. This is a normal and necessary time of transition. If you use this period of intense grief to actively and intentionally engage with your painful thoughts and feelings, you find ways to express them that are helpful to you. In other words, you do the hard work of mourning. You share your grief outside yourself — in doses over time — so that you begin to inte
The Financial Aftermath of Military Loss The Financial Aftermath of Military Loss The Financial Aftermath of Military Loss TAPS Helping Families Build a "New Normal" After Carole Hilton’s Navy husband died suddenly, the widowed mother of three had to make a number of financial decisions immediately, while she was preparing to bury her husband. As she details in a recent podcast, she worried she might make a mistake that would hurt her family’s future and jeopardize their financial security. While the military provided a death gra
Climbing the Mountain of Grief Side by Side Climbing the Mountain of Grief Side by Side Climbing the Mountain of Grief Side by Side \| TAPS Rachel Hunsell These past few months, we’ve been called to focus on what’s really important. We’ve been physically distancing from our friends, loved ones and strangers to protect them and ourselves. We’ve strategized our outings for basic needs like groceries, healthcare, fresh air and sanity. Our 2020 Mount Kilimanjaro Expedition team returned home from the rooftop of Africa, the peak of the mount
Living the Legacy: Let the Good Days Come Living the Legacy: Let the Good Days Come Living the Legacy ~ Let the Good Days Come Gordon Bolar One of the things that someone said to me shortly after Matthew died in 2007 was this: “There will be some good days and there will be some bad days. Let the good days come and enjoy them.” I didn't believe it at the time but it turned out to be true. When I first heard these words in the wake of losing my son, I wasn't the most optimistic person on the planet. But lately there have been some
Left Behind Left Behind Left Behind \| TAPS Scott McCutcheon Never in my 62 years on this planet have I ever met and truly connected with 20 new brothers the way I did at my first TAPS Men’s Retreat at Camp Operation BBQ Relief (OBR) at Lake of the Ozarks. That miracle happened in the days and nights we spent together in late July. I think every man there used the word “connection” multiple times in our conversations. That is just what we did. We connected with each other. Prior to my a
Klinger’s Korner: Kids, Grief, and the Holidays Klinger’s Korner: Kids, Grief, and the Holidays Klinger’s Korner: Kids, Grief, and the Holidays \| TAPS Andy McNiel The holiday season is a magical time for children of all ages. It is during this time of year that children and teenagers have an extended break from school. They can be with friends and family in settings and doing activities that they may not be able to do other times of the year. At the same time, when children and teenagers are grieving, the holidays can be challenging as the
Christmas Without Chris Christmas Without Chris Christmas Without Chris \| TAPS Ami Neiberger-Miller My brother, Army Specialist Christopher Neiberger, was killed in action in Iraq in 2007 at age 22. The last time we saw him was at Christmastime when he came home from Iraq on leave eight years ago. All of the last photos of our family together and the last times we spent together were at the holidays. Photo coutesy of Dr. Richard Neiberger After his death, the holidays became very painful. We were always the kind o
Spotlight on Service: Ruth Roberts Spotlight on Service: Ruth Roberts Spotlight on Service: Ruth Roberts TAPS Is the desire to volunteer the product of nature or nurture? In the case of TAPS volunteer Ruth Roberts, it may be a combination. Ruth was born a fifth generation Dutch citizen in The Dutch East Indies, now Indonesia. During World War II, her father suffered brutal treatment as a prisoner of war, and her mother, along with Ruth and two of her siblings, lived in Japanese detention. After the war, a bitter struggle for
Once Upon A Time Once Upon A Time Once Upon A Time Linda Ambard People often put off doing the things they want to do because they believe there will be a better time for it. I know that Phil and I put off those couple's only dates and vacations because we thought we had time. In fact, I pushed for a Phil and Linda vacation together before his deployment, but he wanted to wait because it wasn't his top priority. It became the desire of his heart while he was deployed, and we had plans for that magical day t
TAPS Family Reunion Memorial Day: A Family Reunion Like No Other Memorial Day: A Family Reunion Like No Other \| TAPS Heather Nesle I started at New York Life seven months ago and heard about TAPS on my first day. Since that day, I had been looking forward to attending the National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp in Washington, D.C. The idea of spending Memorial Day weekend assisting military families in some small way was something I was truly looking forward to doing. In addition to being exc
Spotlight on Service: Mardee McDaniel Spotlight on Service: Mardee McDaniel Spotlight on Service: Mardee McDaniel TAPS What motivates someone to volunteer for TAPS year after year? The reasons are different for each individual, but often it all comes back to the people we serve. It’s the number one reason for many of our volunteers. One such volunteer, who has been coming back for 14 years, is Mardee McDaniel: California native, ex-software programmer, and mother of two sons, 18-year-old Matt and 15-year-old Ryan. Mardee first
Helping Yourself Heal During the Holiday Season Helping Yourself Heal During the Holiday Season Helping Yourself Heal During the Holiday Season Alan Wolfelt Holidays are often difficult for anyone who has experienced the death of someone loved. Rather than being times of family togetherness, sharing, and thanksgiving, holidays can bring feelings of sadness, loss, and emptiness. Love Does Not End With Death Since love does not end with death, holidays may result in a renewed sense of personal grief—a feeling of loss unlike that exper
Finding Your Community Finding Your Community Erin Leigh Nelson & Colleen E. Montague, LMFT The loss that brought you to TAPS and the secondary losses that follow can impact your connection to the world around you and the people in your circle — even those closest to you. As you navigate your grief and changing relationships, let the words that follow be a guide and source of support. Changes in Community You are living with your loss in connection with others and finding ways to grieve together with differen
Saturday Morning Message: Finding A Sense Of Accomplishment In The New Year Saturday Morning Message: Finding A Sense Of Accomplishment In The New Year Finding A Sense Of Accomplishment In The New Year \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, Welcome to the first Saturday Morning Message for 2021! With the beginning of each new year, many of us begin to make plans and set goals and intentions. Although I usually don’t make resolutions, one thing I would like to do in the upcoming year is attend a TAPS seminar. I miss seeing those who are connected t
Saturday Morning Message: Including Our Loved Ones In Our Holiday Traditions Saturday Morning Message: Including Our Loved Ones In Our Holiday Traditions Including Our Loved Ones In Our Holiday Traditions \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, During this time of year, we experience shorter days and prolonged darkness. In addition, we are also dealing with the restrictions that come with COVID-19 which may make the holiday season more difficult. Many of us illuminate our homes with candles to help us cope with the reduced light outside. This week t
Saturday Morning Message: Dealing With Multiple Deaths Saturday Morning Message: Dealing With Multiple Deaths Saturday Morning Message: Dealing With Multiple Deaths \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, Dealing with one death can be very difficult, but when you are faced with the loss of more than one family member or friend, you can find yourself in greater difficulty. For me, taking the time to reach out for support is the best thing I can do for myself. Participating in one of the various online chats that TAPS has is one way to find support. There
Saturday Morning Message: Getting Through Tough Moments Saturday Morning Message: Getting Through Tough Moments Saturday Morning Message: Getting Through Tough Moments \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, Last week’s question asked what others do when a grief wave takes over suddenly. This picture is the necklace I wear every day. Inside the locket is one of Bryon’s boot camp pictures. When I feel that wave coming over me, I gently touch that locket and remind myself to breathe since I tend to hold my breath when I feel that emotion. There were vari
Saturday Morning Message: Thoughts on a New Year Saturday Morning Message: Thoughts on a New Year Carol Lane Good Morning, It is a new year and for many people that means making resolutions that involve revising our present pattern of behavior or adding something to it. Before changing things, we need to ask if our lives will benefit from changing our behavior or continuing in the same way. When I ask myself questions like that, I find it most helpful to read or ask what others think to get some new ideas. The latest TAPS Magazine include
Saturday Morning Message: Ways to Re-Energize Saturday Morning Message: Ways to Re-Energize Saturday Morning Message: Ways to Re-Energize Carol Lane Good Morning, When we put forth emotional or physical energy, we need to take time for ourselves to relax and re-energize. Walking through my garden is rejuvenating for me. Looking at the changes throughout the year brings joy. I wanted to share this picture of creeping phlox appearing to spill down the hill with you this morning. When I came home from TAPS National Seminar, there they were
Saturday Morning Message: Holiday Adjustments Saturday Morning Message: Holiday Adjustments Saturday Morning Message: Holiday Adjustments Carol Lane Good Morning, The holiday season officially starts with Halloween, so today's picture is from my yard with the leaves turning color. Many people have a hard time with the holidays that occur in December. Today survivors shared what they have done to help them go through this season. In addition, you might want to read an article written by Darcie D. Sims, Ph.D, CHT, CT, GMS in a past TAPS m
27 Memories for 27 Years That Linger Bringing Joy to my Life 27 Memories for 27 Years That Linger Bringing Joy to my Life 27 Memories for 27 Years That Linger Bringing Joy to my Life Linda Ambard Eloping to Reno, NV on November 27, 1988, three days after Thanksgiving. Phil was upset Thanksgiving because of how my father was treating me (I was the first person EVER to get divorced in our family—total ostracization.) Phil didn’t care how people treated him, but it bothered him if people messed with me. As we drove back to Mountain Home Air Force Base
A Visit to Arlington A Visit to Arlington A Visit to Arlington \| TAPS Pamela Henne Walking Among the Familiar My letter began, You don’t know me, but you knew my father when you both served in Europe during World War II. My mother has told me how she hears from you at Christmastime and you always speak fondly of Dad and your days together as soldiers. My father was a great man; gracious, patient and most importantly a hero. Of course he never saw himself this way, but I certainly did. He taught me by his action
Saturday Morning Message: Upcoming Holiday Ideas Saturday Morning Message: Upcoming Holiday Ideas Saturday Morning Message: Upcoming Holiday Ideas \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, One of the most powerful things that TAPS does is provide an avenue where survivors can connect and talk about their grief. The opening picture today shows two people chatting at a TAPS seminar. At the end of the Saturday Morning Message is a list of video and text chats that offer yet another way of connecting survivors. When you join a chat, you can communicate
Saturday Morning Message: How do you mark Memorial Day? Saturday Morning Message: How do you mark Memorial Day? Saturday Morning Message: How do you mark Memorial Day? \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, The picture this week shows one of the hugs given last year at the 23rd Annual TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp. On Memorial Day, survivors can be found in many different places at events that honor those who served in our country’s military and gave their lives. Some can be found at an activity in their home state while st
Mustering the Courage to Mourn Mustering the Courage to Mourn Mustering the Courage to Mourn Alan Wolfelt "Whatever you do, you need courage." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson Loss brings uninvited pain into our lives. In opening to the presence of the pain of your loss, in acknowledging the inevitability of the pain, in being willing to gently embrace the pain, you demonstrate the courage to honor the pain. Honoring means recognizing the value of and respecting. It is not instinctive to see grief as something to honor, yet the c
Winter Wallowing Winter Wallowing Winter Wallowing Darcie Sims Though winter seems to have more than its share of less than wondrous days, occasionally we have an especially down day. Some days aren't too bad. They start out kind of slowly, like a reluctant first grader, but gather momentum as the hours flow by. Some days get a jump-start on me. By the time I hit the shower, I'm functioning without feeling, so much like those early foggy days of grief. Those are the days when hot cocoa and a bowl of st
Snowflakes Snowflakes Snowflakes Darcie Sims Surviving the Winter Season Have you ever stood outside with your head tilted back and your mouth open wide trying to catch a snowflake? Snowflakes fall everywhere: on your hair, your chin, your eyelashes, even your nose. And some even manage to land on the very tip of your tongue only to vanish before you can really get a taste. Each snowflake is a completely different design and pattern. No two are ever created exactly the same. It is a mystery that co
Video: Team TAPS 20th Anniversary Celebration Video: Team TAPS 20th Anniversary Celebration Video: Team TAPS 20th Anniversary Celebration \| TAPS TAPS Media For 20 years, Team TAPS has honored our heroes and raised awareness of the TAPS mission. Join us through December 31 as we celebrate this milestone with a virtual movement. You can participate in an organized virtual race, run or walk 20 miles in observance of the 20th anniversary - bike, swim, or dance your own distance. Join in the FUN-raising and make a difference. Learn more at ww
Faces of TAPS: Surviving Spouse Sheri Lipscomb’s Story Faces of TAPS: Surviving Spouse Sheri Lipscomb’s Story Faces of TAPS: Surviving Spouse Sheri Lipscomb’s Story \| TAPS TAPS Sheri Lipscomb Faces of TAPS is a new series where, in their own words, survivors both celebrate the lives of their military loved ones and reflect on their personal grief journey. Sheri Lipscomb is the surviving spouse of United States Army Sergeant First Class Ricardo Lipscomb, who died on July 19, 2004, while stationed at Fort Gordon, Georgia. The couple has two sons,
Video: Ryan Bass Interviews Sons of Fallen Hero with Dream to Visit all MLB Stadiums Video: Ryan Bass Interviews Sons of Fallen Hero with Dream to Visit all MLB Stadiums Video: Ryan Bass Interviews Sons of Fallen Hero with Dream to Visit all MLB Stadiums \| TAPS TAPS Media Ryan Bass of Bally Sports interviews Chase and Dane Gilbert as they completed visiting the last 2 of the 30 Major League Baseball ballparks with the teams4taps program, honoring their father, Air Force Colonel Ronald "Erick" (call sign Fangs) Gilbert. Select image below to play. honor them, military surv
Loss, Grief, and Manliness Loss, Grief, and Manliness Loss, Grief, and Manliness Brian Burnham What Every Man Should Know About Losing a Loved One To view Article, please visit The Art of Manliness Web Blog, Loss, Grief, and Manliness: What Every Man Should Know about Losing a Loved One. By Brian Burnham: Brian Burnham holds a Masters of Education in Counseling from the College of William and Mary and currently works as a consultant for Military One Source. He also serves as a member of C Company (Medical) 429t
Grief Returns When the Nest Empties Grief Returns When the Nest Empties Grief Returns When the Nest Empties \| TAPS Sarah Greene Over the years, you have worked hard to raise your survivor kids to the best of your ability. Their grieving hearts need extra care and you have frequently put your own grief to the side while doing the job of both parents. You have been so busy with the demands of life and kids that you barely noticed what you needed along the way. In the mix of coping with loss, raising kids, running the househol
8 Ways to Cope After a Suicide Loss 8 Ways to Cope After a Suicide Loss 8 Ways to Cope After a Suicide Loss Carla Stumpf Patton Coping with suicide loss can feel devastating. In its aftermath, it can bring overwhelming, mixed emotions and questions about how and why this happened. More importantly, we wonder how we are going to survive with what feels like an insurmountable level of pain and loss. But, we can and do survive, and there are fellow survivors who offer us hope that our hearts can heal. A group of military survivors
Terrorism Cannot Take Any More From Me Terrorism Cannot Take Any More From Me Terrorism Cannot Take Any More From Me Linda Ambard Until 9/11, I lived a shroud of naïve ignorance believing that terrorism was something that would never touch my country or my life. Terrorism was something that happened to other people in far off lands. I had lived in Europe for eight years at that point and while there were threats, I never really considered myself to be in danger. Phil deployed numerous times all over the world and I had long ago
My TAPS Journey My TAPS Journey My TAPS Journey \| TAPS Amanda Klager I am so grateful for TAPS and all the amazing people who have become a big part of my life and family since my brother Adam passed away. Deb Lucey, Director of Operations, Survivor Services, reached out to me. I was very hesitant. I knew there was nothing anyone could do that would bring him back. Deb did not give up on me. She continued to reach out and check in on me. She told me she was a surviving sister herself. She told me she kn
Surviving family creates bucket list for sick dog Surviving family creates bucket list for sick dog Surviving family creates bucket list for sick dog \| TAPS Lalaine Estella Earl has become an online global sensation! This week, he reached the kind of fame that can only be described as viral when he was the star of a heartwarming video that’s been viewed more than 4 million times. His story has been featured in newscasts coast to coast and it’s fair to say America has fallen in love with Earl. Behind the cute pup’s rise from sickl
Changes to Survivor Benefits Coming Changes to Survivor Benefits Coming Changes to Survivor Benefits Coming \| TAPS TAPS Sometimes it can be confusing to keep up with all the changes to survivor benefits. TAPS is here to help you understand some new changes taking place and assist you with previous benefits. Here is an update on what’s new. Special Survivor Indemnity Allowance (SSIA) The SSIA will continue! Since October 2008, surviving spouses whose Survivor Benefit Plan (SBP) payments have been offset (partially or totally
Friends of TAPS: DynCorp Friends of TAPS: DynCorp Friends of TAPS: DynCorp TAPS Since 2001, DynCorp International has lost 84 teammates while supporting our nation’s foreign policy objectives. The sacrifice of these contractors is not widely known nor heralded except by their families and friends. Our nation asked their loved ones to go to war serving beside our military. Their families deserve our respect and embrace. DynCorp staff wear red shirts on Friday to show support for the Armed Forces. In recognition of
Introducing Bunnie Jacquay Introducing Bunnie Jacquay Introducing Bunnie Jacquay Bunnie Jacquay Welcome to my journey: a world of choice and change that constantly collides with the desire to just curl up in a ball and hide while I cry. I have met some extraordinary people along the way, and I also have been blessed to have the support and understanding from an amazing group of friends. There have been a constant few, affectionately named the Cody Comfort Club, who have been with me for every step of the journey and we
Spotlight on Service: Charlene Miseli Spotlight on Service: Charlene Miseli Spotlight on Service: Charlene Miseli TAPS Charlene Miseli is a military spouse, mother, and volunteer who has been helping TAPS for years. She refers to herself as a proud wife, daughter, sister, niece, and granddaughter of a family in which every member is married to, currently serving, or retired active duty. She understands the danger inherent in the military and has a heartfelt compassion for surviving families. Charlene’s first introduction to TA
Safe Zones: Boundaries in Early Grief Safe Zones: Boundaries in Early Grief Safe Zones: Boundaries in Early Grief Emily Munoz Author Bill Bryson wrote a book called “I’m A Stranger Here, Myself,” which chronicles his re-entry into American culture after living in the United Kingdom for 20 years. While the book isn’t about grief, it is about change and what happens when the world around us changes without our consent or awareness. Sometimes we become strangers to ourselves. Doesn't it often feel, especially in early grief, as t
Photos: Armed Forces Cycling Classic Team TAPS at the Armed Forces Cycling Classic Team TAPS at the Armed Forces Cycling Classic TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (14 photos) cycling, photos, TAPS Headquarters Flickr Album Event Photos: Team TAPS participated June 3 at the Armed Forces Cycling Classic to raise money and awareness for TAPS.
Photos: Armed Forces Cycling Classic Team TAPS at the Armed Forces Cycling Classic Team TAPS at the Armed Forces Cycling Classic TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (36 photos) cycling, photos, TAPS Headquarters Flickr Album Event Photos: Team TAPS participated June 4 and 5 at the Armed Forces Cycling Classic to raise money and awareness for TAPS.
Photos: Armed Forces Cycling Classic Team TAPS at the Armed Forces Cycling Classic Team TAPS at the Armed Forces Cycling Classic TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (123 photos) cycling, photos, TAPS Headquarters Flickr Album Event Photos: Team TAPS participated June 5 and 6 at the Armed Forces Cycling Classic to raise money and awareness for TAPS.
Photos: teams4taps USA Basketball teams4taps at USA Basketball Women's National Team v Australia USA Basketball Women's National Team v Australia \| TAPS TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (7 photos) teams4taps, photos, military survivor Flickr Album Event Photos: TAPS Families attended the at USA Basketball Women's National Team v Australia held in Las Vegas, Nevada on July 16, 2021.
Grieving in the Closet Grieving in the Closet Grieving in the Closet \| TAPS Chandler Keeling When I lost my dad to suicide in 2009, I was in the 8th grade and just beginning to discover myself. My dad went on two tours to Iraq and I spent those awkward adolescent years relentlessly bullied for being “different” and too feminine for a boy. My memories from that time are a slide show of moments trying desperately to fit in while simultaneously missing my dad, the one who would load my iPod with any music I wanted wit
Five Practical Tips to Reduce Anxiety, Calm Fear Five Practical Tips to Reduce Anxiety, Calm Fear Five Practical Tips to Reduce Anxiety, Calm Fear \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt Editor’s note: This is an excerpt from Dr. Alan Wolfelt’s book “Too Much Loss: Coping with Grief Overload.” Although this book specifically addresses what happens when you experience multiple losses in a short period of time, these tips for dealing with fear and anxiety are useful for anyone experiencing these feelings. Loss naturally makes us fearful because it disrupt
Healing Wisdom from Trees Healing Wisdom from Trees Healing Wisdom from Trees \| TAPS Erin Jacobson There are times in life when we feel completely lost. The foundations that held us in place and helped us to make sense of the world are broken and we are left trying to make sense of a new reality. This is particularly true when we experience the death of a loved one. Not only do we go through the grief of losing a person we love, often times we lose our sense of self and our place in the world. In times of confusion or
App Review: My Good Grief Journal for Kids App Review: My Good Grief Journal for Kids App Review: My Good Grief Journal for Kids Cheryl Kreutter For both children and adults, writing and drawing are useful tools for unpacking grief. The “My Good Grief Journal for Kids” app for iPad, a digital grief journal created specifically for children, provides children both space and structure to record memories, thoughts and feelings about a loved one who has died. While an adult is required to provide guidance on the app, it is the colorful pi
Spring Clean Your Finances Spring Clean Your Finances USAA Educational Foundation Birds singing, flowers blooming, spring is here. It is the perfect time for fresh starts, and your finances can be one of them. If you’re ready to begin, take these seven steps to do a little financial spring cleaning. Even if you can only tackle one at a time, each step can lead to greater financial security and peace of mind. Your Financial Spring-Cleaning Checklist Have a financial game plan. Life now may be very different than wh
Saturday Morning Message: How Do You Relieve Stress? Saturday Morning Message: How Do You Relieve Stress? How Do You Relieve Stress? \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message TAPS Good Morning, Reflection of emotions from our grief journey, a journey we did not choose, can sometimes lead us astray and away from family, friends and the peacefulness of nature. Navigating our experiences together and seeing the beauty that surrounds us can refuel us to reach out and connect with others at TAPS. As we walk together through our grief, let us pause to see the
Sisters Celebrate Life — as Their Brother Would Want Sisters Celebrate Life — as Their Brother Would Want Sisters Celebrate Life — as Their Brother Would Want \| TAPS Katie Martin Beth Martin When our big little brother, Wyatt, died in Afghanistan in 2014, it was like each of us lost a limb. Besides not being able to breathe, we couldn’t even sit at a family event without feeling cheated. Wyatt, the youngest, had the ability to make every situation fun. These last five years could have been filled with just sadness if we had not made a conscious
I'm All About That Bass I'm All About That Bass I'm All About That Bass Linda Ambard There is a song that says, “I’m all about that bass, about that bass.” That song means something different to me than others, I am sure. When I hear it, I immediately consider my attitude. It’s all about that attitude. While I cannot deny that I still have pity parties and days that I break down in tears, I can say that each and every day I make the choice to be happy. How can I subtly shift my paradigms when the very person I built
Saturday Morning Message: Memories Saturday Morning Message: Memories Saturday Morning Message: Memories Carol Lane Good Morning, This week's message is laid out a bit differently. Since the picture this week is a picture Sue, mother of Marcus, sent in response to last week's question about sharing a memory of our loved ones, I thought it would be good to include her memory in the first part of the message. Here is her memory: "Oct. 25, 2007, started out like a normal Christmas day for our family. WHAT? Christmas in Oct
NFL Creates Another Incredible Salute to Service Season NFL Creates Another Incredible Salute to Service Season with teams4taps NFL Creates Another Incredible Salute to Service Season \| TAPS TAPS Hundreds of TAPS survivors attended NFL football games and events around the country that brought families together to honor the lives of their fallen heroes. The NFL’s Salute to Service is a year-round effort to honor, empower and connect service members, veterans and their families. The program culminated in a series of games and activities throughout
Saturday Morning Message: Month of the Military Caregiver Saturday Morning Message: Month of the Military Caregiver Month of the Military Caregiver \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Coleen Bowman Good Morning, As we enter the month of May, as we do every day, TAPS will honor all who have served and died. We are also honoring our Military caregivers, as May is the Month of the Military Caregiver. During this time, we would like to pause for a moment and acknowledge your sacrifice as a caregiver. Being a caregiver to your loved one can take a toll on y
5 Ways TAPS Peer Mentors Can Support New Survivors 5 Ways TAPS Peer Mentors Can Support New Survivors 5 Ways TAPS Peer Mentors Can Support New Survivors Allicia Johnson No one can fully understand the grief journey in the way a fellow survivor can. Experienced survivors understand the power of peer support; they know the hopefulness of looking to another who has traveled this path and seeing that person surviving and thriving. Having someone who can relate without judgment, someone who can validate that the emotions you are experiencing are O
Moments Captured Forever: Behind the Lens for TAPS Moments Captured Forever: Behind the Lens for TAPS Moments Captured Forever: Behind the Lens for TAPS Paige Williams Lenzy Ruffin has been a volunteer with TAPS since the 2016 National Military Survivor Seminar. He took amazing photos during the weekend event to capture the meaning and connection of the TAPS family. Since then, he also covered the Army Ten-Miler in October for Team TAPS. Before becoming a professional photographer, Lenzy served as a lieutenant in the U.S. Army. TAPS is so gra
Klinger's Korner: Healthy Growth & Development In Bereaved Children and Teenagers Klinger's Korner: Healthy Growth & Development In Bereaved Children and Teenagers Klinger's Korner: Healthy Growth & Development In Bereaved Children and Teenagers \| TAPS Andy McNiel How can I help my child grow and develop in healthy ways even when they are grieving the death of someone in their life? It is difficult to watch our children struggle or face distress after a loss. As parents, we want our children to have healthy, happy experiences, and we worry that their grief will have long-t
October is Emotional Wellness Month October is Emotional Wellness Month October is Emotional Wellness Month \| TAPS TAPS This article was first published on the TAPS website on October 1, 2021 and has been updated with additional resources. As members of the TAPS family, we either know (or are learning) that even in the midst of heartache, we can find moments of comfort and connection. It doesn’t always come naturally - it isn’t easy to balance the needs of grieving and living. Yet, when we’re navigating major life transition
Saturday Morning Message: Gifts from the Heart from our Loved Ones Saturday Morning Message: Gifts from the Heart from our Loved Ones Saturday Morning Message: Gifts from the Heart from our Loved Ones \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, This week, survivors were asked to write about the gifts of personality that our loved ones gave us just by being themselves. I hope you enjoy all the responses that came to us. Debra, wife of Thomas sent this picture of her husband, Tom, and told us about his gift. Debra wrote, "One of the most memorable gifts that Tom always
Saturday Morning Message: Supporting Others in Grief Saturday Morning Message: Supporting Others in Grief Saturday Morning Message: Supporting Others in Grief Carol Lane Good Morning, When someone you know experiences the death of a loved one, words just don't seem enough. Finding ways to help others who are grieving can be easier when you think of the support others gave you. Thanks to the survivors who wrote this week as they reflected on what was meaningful to them and used those memories to generate hints on best ways to reach out when som
After the Holidays After the Holidays After the Holidays Darcie Sims Surviving the Mid-Winter Gloom Why does January seem so empty? Just as the world is stiff and frozen outside my window, I feel dead and cold and scattered inside myself. I managed to make it through the holiday season, though the “how” of that feat is truly beyond my recollection. I can't even remember eating the holiday meals. (I do, however, remember doing the dishes—again and again and again. Next year we are eating out or using paper plat
Why the Holidays Hurt Why the Holidays Hurt Why the Holidays Hurt Richard Obershaw Coping with the Reality of Those Special Days This article first appeared in Holiday Hope: Remembering Loved Ones During Special Times (Fairview Press, 1998) and is reprinted with permission. People who are grieving fear holidays. Holidays can be times when they have to face more than their wounded emotions can bear. Why is grief more acute during the holidays? What follows are some of the reasons holidays can make grief more pain
Waking Up to Gratitude Waking Up to Gratitude Waking Up to Gratitude \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt I’ve become a fan of sunrises. Before COVID-19 changed all of our lives, my busy travel and teaching schedule had me hopping. Most mornings after I woke up, I went straight to work. I had a love-hate relationship with the adrenaline of stress. I was a slave to emails, itineraries, deadlines, and flight schedules. Now I’m in limbo. With most of my presentations postponed or canceled, I’m home. I have time to linger over my morn
Photos: Team TAPS Cycling Classic Team TAPS at the Armed Forces Cycling Classic Team TAPS at the Armed Forces Cycling Classic Photos \| TAPS TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (20 photos) //
Team TAPS Runners Participate in Marine Corps Marathon Team TAPS Runners Participate in Marine Corps Marathon Team TAPS Runners Participate in Marine Corps Marathon TAPS Over 300 runners trained for months to run the Marine Corps Marathon & 10K for Team TAPS on October 22. The historic D.C. route had them running up the hill at the Iwo Jima Marine Corps Memorial to cross the finish line. The combined team raised over $100,000 by asking their friends and family members to help them honor the fallen. Some of our race participants lost a battle
Photos: Team TAPS Disney Princess Disney Princess Half Marathon Weekend Presented by Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals Disney Princess Half Marathon Weekend Presented by Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals \| Team TAPS TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (49 photos) Team Taps, Disney, Marathon, Photos Disney Princess Half Marathon Weekend Presented by Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals Flickr Album Event Photos, Team TA
Photos: Team TAPS Disney Princess Disney Princess Half Marathon Weekend Presented by Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals Team TAPS Disney Princess Half Marathon Weekend Presented by Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (166 photos) Team Taps, Disney, Marathon, Photos Disney Princess Half Marathon Weekend Presented by Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals Flickr Album Event Photos, Team TAP
The Power of Sports The Power of Sports The Power of Sports \| TAPS August Cabrera Angela Cabrera Beyond the Final Score August Cabrera, surviving spouse and mother to Max and Roanin Texas A&M is a huge deal in the Cabrera family. Not only did our hero, Dave, graduate from there in 1992, but a sister, brother, and now nephew are all Aggies. Dave and his first wife, Angela, were college sweethearts and now their two kids, Corbin and Gillian, both attend A&M. So when team4taps called to offer our family, our
What Eligible Military Survivors Need to Know About the TRICARE Changes What Eligible Military Survivors Need to Know About the TRICARE Changes What Eligible Military Survivors Need to Know About the TRICARE Changes \| TAPS TAPS Updated Jan. 3, 2018 Surviving spouses and children eligible for TRICARE can expect to see stories of changes to the military’s health care system in the coming months, as mandated by the 2017 National Defense Authorization Act. The current TRICARE Standard and TRICARE Extra plans will be merged into a single plan, called TRICARE Select.
New Year's Remembering the Love New Year's Remembering the Love New Year's Remembering the Love \| TAPS Ellen Andrews I can’t say that I remember much about the first new year after David died. Those first months were a blur. I somewhat remember that I felt a bit like the loser in a prize fight after having endured the one-two punch of Thanksgiving and Christmas. Your mind and heart are already carrying the heavy burden of grief only to have salt rubbed into that wound with the onslaught of the festive holiday season. Stra
Saturday Morning Message: Cultivating Hobbies and Skills Saturday Morning Message: Cultivating Hobbies and Skills Cultivating Hobbies and Skills \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, During this period of quarantine, some have found the additional time to develop new hobbies or skills or have worked hard to enhance old skills, applying that new knowledge to various projects. Several survivors share about their experiences in this week’s Saturday Morning Message. We have all heard that journaling can be part of the h
Saturday Morning Message: Making Plans for the Holidays Saturday Morning Message: Making Plans for the Holidays Making Plans for the Holidays \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, The opening picture is my lilac bush with its beautiful red leaves signaling the beginning of the fall season in the part of our country where I live. Survivors know that their loved ones’ birthdays and angelversaries can be difficult, so plans are often made to help cope. Some holidays can be equally emotionally painful. Today’s responses a
Saturday Morning Message: Treating Ourselves Saturday Morning Message: Treating Ourselves Treating Ourselves \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, Darcie Sims was a wonderful speaker and supporter of TAPS. She saw snowflakes as a way to describe ourselves, our loved ones and each person’s grief, because there are no perfectly identical snowflakes. Each one is unique. In her article, “Snowflakes Surviving the Winter Season”, she not only wrote about understanding these differences, but one of her suggestions was to, “
Saturday Morning Message: The Winter Holidays Saturday Morning Message: The Winter Holidays Saturday Morning Message: The Winter Holidays Carol Lane Good morning, Today is Veterans Day, so a poem about the holiday is the opening survivor response. The November and December holidays can add stress to an already difficult time. Today survivors shared what they do to cope. Some write poems. Others choose to go away or do something different than they have done in the past for the upcoming days. Thanks to all who have shared this week and
The Unstuck Approach The Unstuck Approach The Unstuck Approach James Gordon I believe treatment for depression should be integrative. It’s a way to get unstuck, to help us move through and beyond depression and other difficulties that our lives may bring us. In my book, “Unstuck: Your Guide to the Seven-Stage Journey Out of Depression,” I explain that this comprehensive approach combines conventional treatments, including various forms of psychotherapy, with other techniques to enhance a person’s emotional lif
A Toast to the Ones We Lost A Toast to the Ones We Lost A Toast to the Ones We Lost \| TAPS Sonia Rai There’s a certain type of person with a certain type of heart who, before setting out to do something they love, will see the inherent danger, corruption, and uncertainty ahead of them, and still choose to act anyway. This is a toast to them. They’re the type of people who aren’t in it for the glory because they realize that glory isn’t something that can be found, rather it can only be bestowed. So they go,
Survivors Fill Community Need for Face Masks Survivors Fill Community Need for Face Masks Survivors Fill Community Need for Face Masks \| TAPS Susie Ristau As everyone knows, we’re all going through a tough time in our lives with COVID-19. Every night when I went to bed I stressed over how things were going to be for my family. One night, I thought: Why am I laying here stressing over what is going to happen? I need to be doing something to help people in need. I had seen so many Facebook posts about places in need of face masks. The n
Saturday Morning Message: Warm Wishes for the New Year Saturday Morning Message: Warm Wishes for the New Year Saturday Morning Message: Warm Wishes for the New Year \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, As we come to the beginning of 2018, it might be interesting to think about treating yourself since the passing season might have been very stressful especially for those who are grieving. In the article from the winter 2015 TAPS magazine, there is an article titled “Seven Strategies for the New Year” written by Brad Stetson. In it he encourages some a
Saturday Morning Message: Introducing Our Loved Ones Saturday Morning Message: Introducing Our Loved Ones Saturday Morning Message: Introducing Our Loved Ones Carol Lane Good morning, At every seminar, there is a wall to place pictures of our loved ones, so we can all view them. Now on the new TAPS website, there is a place called the Memorial Hero Wall. When you enter this section, you will not only see pictures of those special people, but you can add a picture of your loved one to the page. This was the inspiration for today’s Saturday Morn
Growing Up TAPS: Leaning Into Your Influence as a Parent Growing Up TAPS: Leaning Into Your Influence as a Parent Growing Up TAPS: Leaning Into Your Influence as a Parent Andy McNiel It is not easy to be a parent today. We compete with so many other things that demand our children’s attention and fill their minds with messages that shape how they see themselves, others, and the world around them. I have had many parents express their frustrations about this current situation and wonder if they even have any sway in their child’s life. Sometimes it
Choose Forgiveness Choose Forgiveness Choose Forgiveness Carlene Cross July 13, 2008 started out like any other Sunday. But a knock at the door changed everything. I looked through the peephole, clouded by years of Seattle rain, to see two blurry figures clenching clipboards to their chests. "Solicitors," I thought as I stepped back, waiting for them to leave. They moved alongside the house. A deep voice cut through the air, "There must be a back door." A mother's intuition gripped my heart. I rushed to the
Finding the Strength to Help My Child Understand Death Finding the Strength to Help My Child Understand Death Finding the Strength to Help My Child Understand Death \| TAPS Barb Allen I had just hit my stride as a wife and mother of four little boys when my husband was killed in Iraq. Our children were just 6, 5, 3 and 1 years old. The pain was immense. The anger was consuming. Every part of me wished for the power to will my husband back to life, so I understood completely when my three-year-old son rolled over in bed one night, pointed to the
Saturday Morning Message: Routine or Change Saturday Morning Message: Routine or Change Saturday Morning Message: Routine or Change Carol Lane Good morning, Is it easier to stick to a routine or change the daily tasks you do after the death of a loved one? The picture today is a hydrangea bush that we planted in our garden. Gardening became a time of meditation for me. Somehow when I was working with plants, I felt I was connecting with nature and my son. Although we had a garden before the event that changed our lives, we took more t
Faces of TAPS: Surviving Mother Holly Higgins Story Faces of TAPS: Surviving Mother Holly Higgins Story Faces of TAPS: Surviving Mother Holly Higgins Story \| TAPS TAPS Holly Higgins Faces of TAPS gives military survivors the space to, in their own words, both celebrate the lives of their military loved ones and reflect on their personal grief journey. Holly Higgins, surviving mother of U.S. Air Force Senior Airman Daniel James Johnson, lives her life to honor her son. In 2010, Daniel was killed in action in Afghanistan and, ever since, Holly a
Star Light, Star Bright Star Light, Star Bright Star Light, Star Bright Darcie Sims Did you ever wish upon a star? Did you ever stand outside, on a summer night and feel the soft darkness enfold you like black velvet, the gentle night breeze kissing your cheeks, the grass tickling your bare toes? Did you ever lie on your back, looking at the starry quilt tossed over the heavens? Did you ever see a shooting star and wonder where it came from and where it was going? Did you ever search for a special star and wish on i
Harvesting Hope: The Unexpected Bounty of Grief Work Harvesting Hope: The Unexpected Bounty of Grief Work Harvesting Hope: The Unexpected Bounty of Grief Work Emily Munoz I grew up in rural Tennessee, where I remember riding along with a friend's grandfather on a combine, watching and listening as he maneuvered the large harvester/thresher through a crop of corn (while I got grease on a skirt I shouldn't have been wearing on farm equipment). Joe Taylor and I were 6 years old when we climbed down from the high cab to look at the healthy corn bef
Off the Hook: Permission to Heal Off the Hook: Permission to Heal Off the Hook: Permission to Heal Chris Daniel May 2015 was looking up. Life was taking shape after a long period of turmoil. I had a new apartment and vehicle. I made it through the first year of co-parenting after divorce. Set to start work again as a contractor, I also prepared to start a leadership role in my church’s young adult ministry. To top it all off, I was building a deeper relationship with my two sons, Jaxon (4) and Tray (19). May was good. The
When Small Talk is a Big Issue When Small Talk is a Big Issue When Small Talk is a Big Issue \| TAPS Emily Munoz Traveling the country to host Regional Seminars, the TAPS team hears about the sense of freedom that comes from connecting with other people who understand. At TAPS events, you can be yourself — the armor can come off; the mask can fall away. As this happens, our bonds as a TAPS family strengthen and grow. And then, Sunday rolls around, and with it comes the real world — and some of us need that armor back. We do
Healing and Hope After Suicide Healing and Hope After Suicide Healing and Hope After Suicide Iris Bolton Surviving the death of a dear one is to endure great pain. Surviving a suicidal death is to compound that pain, often with guilt, anger, and confusion. Fortunately, hope is on the horizon with of the growing knowledge about grief and traumatic loss. This hope is fueled by a new willingness to talk freely about death. The grief community is learning about the causes of suicide, helping to discover ways to assist with
Boxes in the Attic: Part Two Boxes in the Attic: Part Two Boxes in the Attic: Part Two Betsy Beard You Can’t Take It With You It is said that one of the tasks of grieving is to relocate the loved one from being a physical presence to that of residing in our hearts and memories. It is not an easy task. And we really don’t want to do it. We just want them to come home and walk in the door. And after a few years, we get it. They’re not coming home. They won’t be watching this movie, reading that book, or wearing those clo
TAPS Senior Advisor Honored for Ongoing Efforts in the Military, Veteran, Caregiver, and Survivor Communities TAPS Senior Advisor Honored for Ongoing Efforts in the Military, Veteran, Caregiver, and Survivor Communities TAPS Senior Advisor Honored for Ongoing Efforts in the Military, Veteran, Caregiver, and Survivor Communities \| TAPS Kristi Stolzenberg TAPS TAPS is fortunate to have talented staff members, volunteers, ambassadors, board members, and advisors who all answer the call to serve our nation’s military and veteran survivors, and they pour their hearts into the TAPS mission each and eve
The Valley of the Shadow The Valley of the Shadow…Where Every Day Is Memorial Day The Valley of the Shadow…Where Every Day Is Memorial Day \| TAPS Heather Gray Blalock Those of us who have lost a loved one often feel as if we reside in the valley of the shadow of death. Every day is Memorial Day because not a day goes by when we aren’t remembering the one we lost. For me, the official Memorial Day felt different this year. In past years, I climbed Pikes Peak with my late husband’s unit, I founded a nonprofit that host
Saturday Morning Message: The Positive Impact of Peer Mentoring Saturday Morning Message: The Positive Impact of Peer Mentoring The Positive Impact of Peer Mentoring \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, The TAPS Peer Mentor Program offers a companion on our grief journey. We are matched with another survivor who has suffered a similar loss. The opening picture is from the article, "5 Reasons Peer Support Has Helped Me Through My Grief," written by Amanda Klager who is the surviving sister of Army Spc. Adam Klager. In the article, she
Dad Left Us a Lifetime of Memories Dad Left Us a Lifetime of Memories Dad Left Us a Lifetime of Memories \| TAPS Caroline Banholzer Kate Banholzer In May of 2014 our dad, Dave Banholzer, was diagnosed with Glioblastoma Multiforme, a terminal form of primary brain cancer. Within a matter of seconds, we knew our lives would never be “normal” again. Following his diagnosis, he lived with cancer for 28 months. During his remaining time, he attempted to give us a lifetimes worth of memories and lessons that we still cherish to this d
Saturday Morning Message: BBQ, Apple Pie and other Foods that Remind Us of Love Saturday Morning Message: BBQ, Apple Pie and other Foods that Remind Us of Love BBQ, Apple Pie and other Foods that Remind Us of Love \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, Sharing food that our loved ones liked is the topic for today’s Saturday Morning Message, because today is Culinarians’ Day. The opening picture comes from an article in the TAPS archives titled "Love in the Kitchen" written by Rita, mother of James Shawn. She writes that she and her son liked to cook
Saturday Morning Message: Gifts from Our Loved Ones Saturday Morning Message: Gifts from Our Loved Ones Saturday Morning Message: Gifts from Our Loved Ones \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, The opening picture shows photos of the loved ones of those who sailed on the TAPS New England cruise. I thought it shows that our loved ones gave the gift of love just by being themselves. This week survivors share some other special presents their loved ones offered. Some are physical items and others are memories the survivors carry on to others. I know y
My Father’s Voice My Father’s Voice My Father’s Voice Lois La Pointe Kiely I never heard my father’s voice. There were photographs of him, and I know his handwriting from letters he wrote to my mother. But I always wondered how he sounded. Did his voice reflect the French Canadian dialect of his parents? Or did it have a masculine North Jersey sound to it? Was he soft spoken or a deep baritone? He died in World War II when I was just an infant, and I will never know. Louis La Pointe, my father, enlisted twic
Love, Loss, and Legacy Love, Loss, and Legacy Don Lipstein Turning Loss into Legacy - TAPS News Don Lipstein For more information on becoming a peer mentor or requesting a peer mentor, visit the TAPS Peer Mentor Program page. In some ways March 15, 2011, seems like yesterday and in others it feels like an eternity ago. That was the day my life turned upside down. I was completely helpless as my oldest son Joshua, 250 miles away from me, hung the phone up before he took his own life. That moment in time is sea
Resuming Something Set Aside: The Maine Thing Resuming Something Set Aside: The Maine Thing Resuming Something Set Aside: The Maine Thing Michele Hiester Marcum Vacations have always been a prominent source of my most treasured childhood memories. More often than not, I remember the little details more than the destinations. I don’t remember many of the cities we visited, the events we attended, or the sights we saw. But I remember dining on ham sandwiches from an old Coleman cooler in a hotel room. And I remember playing cards with m
Photos: Great Aloha Run TAPS Togethers and Team TAPS at the Great Aloha Run TAPS Military Survivors at the Great Aloha Run TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (8 photos) taps togethers, team taps, survivors Flickr Album Event Photos: TAPS survivors walk 8.1 miles together at the Great Aloha Run.
Photos: Bataan Memorial Death March Bataan Memorial Death March Team TAPS at Bataan Memorial Death March TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (31 photos) team taps, photos, bataan memorial death march Flickr Album Event Photos
Colorado Celebrity Classic 2014 Colorado Celebrity Classic 2014 Colorado Celebrity Classic 2014 Christine Burtt A Successful Formula Toward Healing A wonderful healing occurs when people gather to celebrate life. It’s a soothing balm for survivors to feel respect for their lost loved ones, and it’s an opportunity for neighbors to show their gratitude for the profound sacrifices made on their behalf. Lynne and Bo Cottrell, directors of the Colorado Celebrity Classic to benefit TAPS, have found a successful formula toward
Spotlight on Service: SFC Pablo Ruiz III Spotlight on Service: SFC Pablo Ruiz III Spotlight on Service: SFC Pablo Ruiz III TAPS Army soldier of 11 years, husband of 19 years, father of a 19-year-old daughter in college, part-time student pursuing a degree in Management Human Resources…you’d think he’d have no time to volunteer. But that’s where you’d be wrong. Sergeant First Class Pablo Ruiz, III, is a dedicated TAPS volunteer. In the two years he has been volunteering for TAPS, his commitment has surpassed all expectations. As a
The Stars Align for Stars4TAPS: TAPS’ Network of Support at Paramount and CBS The Stars Align for Stars4TAPS: TAPS’ Network of Support at Paramount and CBS TAPS Staff Everyone at TAPS carries a story — one of love, and of loss — that lives on each time we share it, each time we say their names. In the ongoing Stars4TAPS story, 2025 will forever be a stand-out chapter, one that came together during a heartfelt TAPS cameo on the NCIS holiday episode, “Heaven and Nature,” which aired on Dec. 16, 2025. But, like most memories and midseason finales, though, the story goes
Photos: TAPS International Trip to Ukraine TAPS International Trip to Ukraine TAPS International Military Trip to Ukraine TAPS Media photos, taps international, military survivor, taps global TAPS International Trip to Ukraine Photos 2019 Ukraine - Flickr Link 2019 Ukraine - Flickr Embed Event Photos: TAPS International visit military survivors in the Ukraine January 16 to 21, 2019
Photos: TAPS International Trip to Ukraine TAPS International Trip to Ukraine TAPS International Military Trip to Ukraine TAPS Media photos, taps international, military survivor, taps global TAPS International Trip to Ukraine Photos 2018 Ukraine - Flickr Link 2018 Ukraine - Flickr Embed Event Photos: TAPS International visit military survivors in the Ukraine in March.
My Flight Over Iraq My Flight Over Iraq My Flight Over Iraq Elizabeth Rozier surviving sibling, healing 2012 My Flight over Iraq A bucket list item that probably only a TAPS audience will appreciate was to visit "the spot" where my brother died.
Vacations, Who Needs ‘Em? Vacations, Who Needs ‘Em? Vacations, Who Needs ‘Em? Betsy Beard When our son died, there were so many details and arrangements vying for attention I couldn’t begin to comprehend all the changes that would follow. At some point in the next year or so, one of those changes surfaced: the way I felt about, planned for, and took vacations. Many survivors have found vacationing to be problematic, so as we head into the warmer months let’s give some thought to the who, what, when, where, why, and ho
Saturday Morning Message: Our Places of Comfort Saturday Morning Message: Our Places of Comfort Saturday Morning Message: Our Places of Comfort Carol Lane Good Morning, The last two weeks we have shared some of the places or events that have given us comfort. It is not easy to communicate to others our special songs or original poems and paragraphs. Through the Saturday message it is hoped that we offer a safe and comfortable site to share and reach out across the miles to other survivors offering care and comfort as well as healing for o
Supporting Grieving Military Children: What We All Need To Know Supporting Grieving Military Children: What We All Need To Know Supporting Grieving Military Children: What We All Need To Know Bonnie Carroll November 15 is National Children's Grief Awareness Day. At the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS), we provide comfort and care to anyone grieving the death of a loved one every day, but we take today to recognize the special challenges that military children face after losing a parent, and the strengths they carry that can help them cope
Photos: Team TAPS Hawaii Team TAPS Paddle Out at the Na Koa Wounded Warrior Canoe Regatta Team TAPS Paddle Out at the Na Koa Wounded Warrior Canoe Regatta Photos \| TAPS TAPS Media Download and view more high resolution images on Flickr » (77 photos) //
Saturday Morning Message: Hobbies that Heal Saturday Morning Message: Hobbies that Heal Saturday Morning Message: Hobbies that Heal \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, One collection I always look for when I go to a TAPS event is the TAPS family tree display. At each event where it is displayed, survivors are welcome to add their loved ones’ pictures. I spend a lot of time looking at the pictures of service members and talking to their loved ones. I am proud that my son’s picture is included with all the others. This week’s question was a
Saturday Morning Message: Making a positive difference during a difficult time Saturday Morning Message: Making a positive difference during a difficult time Making a positive difference during a difficult time \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good morning, As you follow the stay at home request, there needs to be something positive to do to help with the feelings of isolation you may have from being away from your normal social routine. Today I want to share some of the ways I connect with others. Through technology, TAPS provides ways for us to connect to
Saturday Morning Message: When Sleep Is Hard to Find Saturday Morning Message: When Sleep Is Hard to Find When Sleep Is Hard to Find \| TAPS Saturday Morning Message Carol Lane Good Morning, In this week’s Saturday Morning Message, survivors share strategies which help them when they are unable to sleep. When trauma comes into our lives, it throws our normal patterns into a tailspin. We have all been working with not only our individual grief, but also the National upset when COVID-19 came into our lives. Recently, I was having trouble sleep
Saturday Morning Message: When We Feel Overwhelmed Saturday Morning Message: When We Feel Overwhelmed Saturday Morning Message: When We Feel Overwhelmed \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, Early in grief, everything seems to come upon us at once. Arrangements need to be made, paperwork completed, relatives and friends contacted, and your grief addressed. It is easy to find ourselves overwhelmed by the number of tasks. Then those who kindly want to host a ceremony to honor our loved ones send us invitations. We want to attend all of them, but som
Saturday Morning Message: The Difference TAPS Has Made Saturday Morning Message: The Difference TAPS Has Made Saturday Morning Message: The Difference TAPS Has Made \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, The opening picture this week is of some of the participants in the Marine Corps Marathon. I am using it since my daughter ran/walked for TAPS on Oct. 22, and I went to support her. I am so proud of those who took part and also those of us who stayed on the sidelines encouraging them. Staying in the hotel where most of the TAPS participants stayed was
Saturday Morning Message: Helpful Strategies While Grieving Saturday Morning Message: Helpful Strategies While Grieving Saturday Morning Message: Helpful Strategies While Grieving Carol Lane Good Morning, Finding strategies that work while grieving can be exhausting. That is where TAPS can help. In addition to the message board, online Yahoo groups, peer mentors, and chats, there is a service from TAPS called the Community Resource Reports which are compiled and mailed to survivors about grief supports in their local areas. For more information about
Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Mementos Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Mementos Saturday Morning Message: Sharing Mementos \| TAPS Carol Lane Good Morning, I am always pleasantly surprised when I read the responses to the weekly question and this week was no exception. The response sent by Betty, mother of Michael, included a picture of an item given to her at her son’s funeral. Betty wrote, “At Michael’s service at Dallas-Fort Worth National Cemetery, one of the Marines from Michael’s unit presented me with an item. Much was a
When You Can’t Hold a Service Right Away When You Can’t Hold a Service Right Away When You Can’t Hold a Service Right Away \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt Tips for Planning a Future Ceremony and Following Through The challenges of the COVID-19 pandemic have affected grieving people in many difficult ways. At a time when you needed extra support from friends and family, you may have been separated from them altogether. You may have struggled even more to rebuild meaning and purpose in your life, if your options for exploring and connecting we
A Second Chance and a Family Healed A Second Chance and a Family Healed A Second Chance and a Family Healed \| TAPS Perry Monroe In 2018, I visited the TAPS website and saw that registration for the Montana Men’s Retreat would be opening soon. I set the alarm on my phone and computer. If I did nothing else that year, I was going to do this. The second registration opened, I signed up. When I received confirmation, I was beyond excited. My excitement was a direct result of an encounter I had with Medal of Honor recipient Her
The Critical Importance of Seeking Support The Critical Importance of Seeking Support The Critical Importance of Seeking Support \| TAPS Alan Wolfelt Learning from the Geese If there is ever a time in life when we need others to support and nurture us, it’s when someone we love dies. In many ways, grief work is the most difficult work we will ever do. And hard work is less burdensome when others lend a hand. Sharing the devastation that results from the death of someone precious won’t make the hurt go away, but it does make it more b
Let It R.A.I.N. Let It R.A.I.N. Let It R.A.I.N. Heather Stang As a child, I dreaded overcast days, especially during the summer. Even when it wasn’t raining, the threat of precipitation felt like a life sentence with no chance of parole. It was the grey skies I feared, even though they would often lead to bluer skies and sometimes a rainbow. Living in emotional pain is a lot like bad weather. There is no control, no predicting when the clouds will come or when the rain will start. But we can learn to rela
Angry with God Angry with God Angry with God Rachael Hill It is no surprise to say that there a gamut of emotions that go along with grief. Sadness, anger, longing, hurt, loneliness, and the list goes on and on. I have felt the entire rainbow of feelings, and I am not afraid to admit it. I have had my times of depression, longing for the life I used to live, spent many nights wishing for the company of my husband, and of course, I have been angry. In fact, many days I am still angry… I am angry tha
Out of My Comfort Zone Out of My Comfort Zone Out of My Comfort Zone Rachael Hill For spring break, I decided to take my boys on a ten day trip to California. What started out as a simple visit, quickly became a whirlwind trip up and down the coast with a lot of time for personal reflection. We left on a red eye flight and arrived at Los Angeles at 11:30 in the morning. We got our rental car and proceeded to drive to our hotel near San Diego. Immediately after leaving the airport, I found myself on the 405 in
Reaching Out to Others Reaching Out to Others Reaching Out to Others Darcie Sims Grief can be so isolating. We may find ourselves exhausted beyond our capabilities, hurt beyond endurance, and lonely beyond belief. No one seems to know what to say or how to behave around us. Many of us have discovered we are grieving not just the death of our loved one, but the loss of friendships, self-esteem, and self-identity as well. When our loved one died, we were surrounded by people, but the silence was deafening. Hardly
Taking Action Taking Action Taking Action Alice Daniel Finding meaning in involvement…again After this article was written, Congress passed bipartisan legislation and presented it to the President on January 1, 2013. Included in the legislation is a provision to establish an Open Burn Pit Registry at the VA. 10:45 p.m. The house is quiet; all are sleeping but me. Austin’s been dead for more than three years now. Some things are better. I’m cooking again. We’ve recently moved from our family home of
Saturday Morning Message: What do your dreams mean? Saturday Morning Message: What do your dreams mean? Saturday Morning Message: What do your dreams mean? \| TAPS Carol Lane Good morning, Dreams don’t come to all survivors, but when they do, they are vivid. I chose this picture to open the message this week. It shows that love never goes away and a reminder can come at the strangest of times if we just look for it. It breaks through the dawn to show us that our loved ones are still with us. There are several ways the responders this week sha
New Relationships and Dating After Loss New Relationships and Dating After Loss New Relationships and Dating After Loss Amanda McPherson If you are reading this, you may have been fortunate to have found that special someone, only to have them taken from you too soon. I will not claim to understand your pain. You will forever be shaped by the experiences you shared with your lost loved one as well as your journey of healing. As I'm sure I don't need to tell you, there isn't one authority for handling grief or a how-to guide for hea
The Story of Us The Story of Us The Story of Us Jenna Grassbaugh Love, Loss, Grief, Healing, and Everything in Between My husband once told me that despite the challenges life, law school, and the future might bring, all that mattered at the end of the day was that we had each other. He told me he would love me through the best of the best times and the worst of the worst. He was standing at a pay phone in Iraq when he uttered these words. Just a few months later, the worst of the worst times would begin f
So You Think You’re Going Crazy? So You Think You’re Going Crazy? So You Think You’re Going Crazy? Darcie Sims I first began to think about going crazy shortly after our son died. It seemed innocent enough in the beginning. Just an occasional sound that came from his bedroom or a whiff of his scent that would catch me by surprise. I didn’t think much of it. In fact, I rather enjoyed those little reminders of him. But after sharing my first encounter with him with a neighbor, I knew the rest of the world would think me daft.