Contributions for 2014

I have to prepare my heart for the onslaught of pressure to the healing wounds. I know that from Thanksgiving (our anniversary) through Christmas, I will hurt.

Sadness is a hallmark symptom of grief, which in turn is the consequence of losing something we care about.

Focusing exclusively on the past and ignoring the present is not healthy. But as you know, memories are all you have.

Our hope is that you will find a true understanding of how much your TAPS family cares about you and is here for you.

Now I finally with the hard-learned ability concentrate on his life, the love he had for us, the great joys we shared together, and all the memories we cherish.

The newly inaugurated Team TAPS will incorporate biking, walking, triathlons, swimming, tennis, and other competitive events.

Here are some coping strategies on how to deal with invitations, shared by members of the TAPS Online Community.

No matter where he is stationed, John remains committed to TAPS, ultimately adding to the success of the organization.

Volume 20, Issue 4

When a loved one has died, holidays, anniversaries, and birthdays inevitably bring fresh memories and a re-experience of the pain of grief.

After viewing a film, it's important to be able to talk about your emotions with friends and family. TAPS is available 24/7 to offer support, call 800-959-TAPS.

Here are some books that can help fill the void and bring extra support at this time of year.

On September 30, 2014, TAPS launched the Military Survivor Education Support Services Program at the National Press Club in Washington, D.C.

I accomplished what I have been aiming to do for the last ten years. Since my husband died in 2004, it has been my main focus. I got both kids off to college.

On October 26th, 2014 I ran the Marine Corps Marathon with TAPS, my second ever full marathon!

Honoring your loved one can be on a traditional holiday or one that is special just to your family and friends.

Okay, it's finished! The quest to honor my son, SGT Thomas R Bagosy USMC is complete.

For children who have experienced the death of a parent, sibling, or another significant person in their lives, the holiday season can be tough.

Grief episodes or meltdowns are times that are hard to control. Sometimes they arrive when you are at places or at times when you don't expect them.

As I ran the hills of the Athens Marathon today, I recognize a huge change that I have made.

The discussion for this week focuses on a time or event when something happened and you felt your loved one close.

My other promise to Phil was to find a chapter two-find love again.

Survivor stories are full of courage and the emotions they have as they serve others while celebrating the lives of their loved ones.

Phil's death caused a quake in my belief system and it has made me question who I am, what I stand for, and what I carry in my heart.

IT IS OK. Continue living for you and honoring them. The way I see it is it's your life and you have to continue living it, no one else…

Inside the heart locket is my son, Bryon's, boot camp picture. When I go to TAPS or military events, I wear other pins as well. However, the heart is always with me.

I knew this would be a very difficult birthday to endure, and I wanted to be able to embrace it with open arms.

There were so many good ideas that came in about the wearing and placement of jewelry in the home that there will be two weeks on this topic.

Our Peer Mentor network is a circle of comfort, hope and understanding; at its core is survivors helping survivors heal through one-to-one connections.

In 2002 I lost my dad while he was training to deploy to Iraq. I was ten years old. College was the last thing on my mind and not high on my mother's priority list.

Everyone's idea of a vacation is different. Mine involves either visiting relatives or going to the ocean beach.

Peggy Scallorn shares the grief of a military mother after losing her son to a veteran suicide and the help she got from TAPS.

Survivor mom, Betsy Beard shares the "normal" part of the fog of grief and how to deal with it in a positive light so you can eventually move on.

Life… it happened...but I can't get over the "golden" years so to speak that I feel were suppose to happen in my life.

Both siblings began experiencing problems when they reached the age their sibling had been when he died.

The TAPS Casework Department is proud to be available for our TAPS family members, supporting them on a wide variety of topics and issues.

What higher purpose is there in life but to give and receive love? Love is the essence of a life of abundance and joy.

Maintaining good health is critical to healthy grieving, progressing on our grief journey, establishing the "new normal" that allows us to love life again.

This was indeed "Mike's home." We felt so at peace about this whole area, and definitely about this particular spot.

Survivors who have been with TAPS since the early 2000s would probably recognize Shaun, as he's been a strong pillar of support through the years.

Volume 20, Issue 3

I realized, when my son was about to turn eighteen, just how important these men had been. And thus was born "Project Eighteen."

To those who are trying to fake it and to those who are sitting on the fence, I highly encourage you to let go of your fears and join the TAPS family.

I realize that what can trip us up the most in navigating grief is the "Why?" That one question burrows itself into our minds, multiplying the pain.

Now in its ninth year, the three-day event held in June in Denver netted more than $250,000 to support TAPS programs.

the best way to promote healing in ourselves is to seek to understand. The Way Men Heal can help us on that journey.

TAPS extends the loving atmosphere with special messages, publications, and online forums to inform, uplift, and sustain us as the journey continues.

Tommy is buried at Arlington National Cemetery. We, his family, continue to live with this new normal.

My life mission is to continue to keep his memory alive, bring awareness to others of suicide and hope to those of us who are living through the loss.

When Phil's candle burned out far too early, I snuffed out a part of me with him. In the 23 years of marriage, I found a safe harbor to weather the storms in.

My week started with my son getting married and ended with my father being buried with honor.

Three years after Phil was killed, I've realized that I, like most, had a skewed perception of grief.

By engaging in suicide postvention to assist grieving military families, I was able to find new meaning and purpose in my life.

And replay that moment once again - Understand this painful journey - With compassion in your heart..

In one breath four years seems like an eternity, but yet in another it feels like just yesterday.

My question throughout the ordeal was "Why now? Why here?" And the answer came to me: we were surrounded by our TAPS family and I felt supported by so many.

More than nine years have disappeared since my brother died in Afghanistan. Nearly 3400 days. Or more than 4,896,000 minutes, if I were counting.

I have a dress that sits in the back of my closet. I wear it on special occasions because of what it has come to represent.

He was a tall caramel complexioned man. His smile lit up when he walked into the room.

Loneliness creeps up on a person. In unexpected traumatic death, there is no preparing for being alone.

I learned a long time ago that there is no way around grief. The only way through grief is…through it.

The loss of a loved one to death is a life-shattering experience. It affects us physically as well as emotionally.

As helpers, we need to provide support and acceptance so that survivors can grieve in healthy ways.

TAPS chooses to make services and support available every day of the year and any time of the night or day through constant access to the TAPS helpline.

Another Gold Star Mother had told me the second year was worse than the first, and I didn't believe it. But it was true in many ways.

For Pablo, the bond that he shares with his mentee and seeing smiles on the faces of survivors is what it's all about.

Volume 20, Issue 2

The need to be understood and to connect with others who understand is a key to finding hope and healing.

Unremarried Widow (Simon & Schuster, 2014) is an honest, gripping memoir about a fresh, bold love sandwiched between two eerily similar tragedies.

Without Miles, I started to understand that I might grieve forever, but I would still need a reason to get out of bed. Writing became that reason.

Has your wardrobe changed since the loss of your loved one? I can tell you that mine has definitely changed.

Being a widow (young or old, with kids or without) does not mean that the person has lost the ability to decide what is best for herself and her family.

I believe that my quest to know Tommy was successful, but I still realize I will never know why.

The TAPS family is really just that - a family. The event feels like one big family reunion with a matriarch (Bonnie), some wizened elders, many children.

I feel like I am finally ready to let some of it go and only keep what truly matters most, but it still isn't easy.

The importance of having someone who can understand what you've been through was so clear to me when TAPS helped me through my mourning.

Thank you to First Lady Michelle Obama and Dr. Jill Biden for sitting with TAPS children in the amphitheater yesterday at Arlington National Cemetery.

Being a true Patriot means that we actively seek ways to honor the fallen by teaching the living.

It is my year of promise, new beginnings, hope, and I intuitively know that I will find my way.

Who am I without my Phil next to me? Who am I and where do I go next?

I love being a part of these girls' lives, but most importantly, I love how much they have influenced my life.

TAPS sends our thoughts to you and shares we are only a phone call away. Call us anytime, day or night, at 1-800-959-TAPS (8277).

Helping others on their grief journey has also allowed myself to better understand my own grief.

For those who have never served our country, TAPS provides the perfect vehicle to physically show your appreciation for the ultimate sacrifice of others.

April is my celebrate life month. I simply look for ways to celebrate the life I have been given and for ways to honor the man who loved me well for 23 years.

The TAPS peer mentoring model will be templated and utilized to create a new network to help military and veteran caregivers.

This past month my sister-in-law remarried. She and my brother met at Texas A&M and married the week following graduation.

Survivors talk about honoring loved ones by helping others or dedicating work to the communities that supported their families in the time of need.

The Windy25 Memorial 5K is dedicated to the memory of the flight crew and passengers of the Windy25, an Army CH-47 Chinook helicopter that crashed.

When a major military tragedy like the shooting at Fort Hood happens, the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) springs into action.

As a way to pay it forward to TAPS, my younger son Cole came up with a wonderful idea of how we could help raise funds for TAPS programs and services.

(TAPS) is the national organization providing compassionate care for the families of America's fallen military heroes

The 2014 TAPS Honor Guard Gala was held Thursday, March 27th. It was a remarkable evening for TAPS as we celebrated our 20th Anniversary.

The TAPS peer mentoring program connects surviving families of our fallen troops with each other for companionship and support.

This year's Senator Ted Stevens Leadership Award at the TAPS Honor Guard Gala honoree was Nicki Bunting.

Danny was a good Marine and veteran. He volunteered with the VFW and Vietnam vets. Here we are sitting on Santa's lap, way back in 1966.

Sometimes in the quiet moments the longing sneaks in. It comes in my sleeping hours when I will awake with a sense of wanting and knowing all that has been lost.

Sitting on the plane from Seattle to Anchorage, my heart was a mix of emotions. I was headed for the TAPS siblings retreat in beautiful Alaska in February 2013.

Oshkosh Defense has generously supported TAPS national programs for three consecutive years and has supported the TAPS Honor Guard Gala.

Guilt feelings are our brain’s way of attempting to make sense of something that defies logic.

The soul-crushing weight of grief is almost more than a person can bear, and we often wonder if the day will ever come when we'll smile or laugh again.

One of our goals at TAPS is to make every effort to ensure that surviving military dependents are not put in a position to pay for school out of pocket or through loans.

Deciding to go to a TAPS event can be difficult for the new survivor. We question how we will fit in, how we will be treated, and what the event will be like.

Why rituals are essential and how you can continue to use the power of ritual to help yourself and your family heal, even long after the death and funeral.

Volume 20, Issue 1

Nicki Bunting may be a busy single mom to two active little boys, but she also cares about helping others and wants to give back to the community.

Safe enough to cry, safe enough to laugh, safe enough to share dreams. Twenty years ago, one of those dreams became a reality with the creation of TAPS

Finding Peace Without All the Pieces has helped me to patch up some holes in my heart and recognize and validate the victory of living after such tragic loss.

My mindset was one of independence and resilience. I wanted nothing except to take care of Kiley and raise her in a way that would make Todd proud.

It is said that one of the tasks of grieving is to relocate the loved one from being a physical presence to that of residing in our hearts and memories.

When it was time to for us to leave, Charles drove us to the airport. Yep, that was a hug to remember. I didn't know then that it would have to last a lifetime.

Finding ways to help others who are grieving can be easier when you think of the support others gave you.

My children and I suffered through the sudden and untimely death of my husband, we also survived the same car accident which claimed his life.

TAPS extends our sincere condolences to the family of our mentor and friend Darcie Sims.

For some reason this year, Valentine's Day is gouging me. This day has become my "Single Awareness Day."

This week, members of our TAPS family shared songs that are meaningful to them.

This week, survivors who have attended the National Military Survivor Seminar share their experience with survivors who have not attended.

Oh my God. This is real. Jon's dead. Never fully exhaling, I crumbled to the floor.

My holiday season is over after all the rose petals have fallen and the boxes of chocolate hearts are empty.

Washington Capitals hosted more than 120 children and adults assisted by TAPS for a skating party at Kettler Capitals Iceplex.

Those sparks ignited with the magic of Disney and are blazing. I chose Disney because it is a happy place and my inner girl child comes out.

Change is sometimes the only constant we can rely on in our lives. No matter how good or bad a situation is, at some point it will inevitably change.

I have my memories, both old and new. And for that, I am grateful.

TAPS stands ready to assist the families of our fallen troops and welcomes anyone grieving the death of a service member, regardless of where they died or how they died.

There are a thousand individual events that occur where each family feels the loss. Things left unsaid; regrets for a life lost so young.

Self-care is not selfish; it is necessary to replenish ourselves so we can have the stamina to care for others.

Going to a seminar or a retreat can be a moving experience. If you haven’t attended either, you may want to know the special qualities of each.