Stories by Alan Wolfelt


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Putting the Closure on the Use of the Word "Closure" in Grief

To heal in grief is to become whole again, to integrate your grief into yourself and to learn to continue your changed life with fullness and meaning.

7/26/2019 - Alan Wolfelt
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Solitude or Social Support in Grief? Why We Need Both

Acknowledging and embracing these necessary contradictions is part of our work of mourning. It’s a question of balance and back-and-forth.

5/2/2019 - Alan Wolfelt
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A List of Ideas to Heal Your Holiday Grief

"Count your blessings, for even while experiencing pain and hurt, there are things that make life worth living."

12/19/2018 - Alan Wolfelt
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Healing Your Holiday Grief

You can find continued meaning in the holidays and in life. You can continue to live and love fully. You must grieve but you can also celebrate.

12/18/2018 - Alan Wolfelt
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Grieving vs. Mourning

People tend to use the two words interchangeably. But there is a crucial distinction.

10/17/2018 - Alan Wolfelt
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The Seesaw of Resilience and Vulnerability

It’s this back-and-forth of grief that provides momentum for the journey.

7/30/2018 - Alan Wolfelt
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The Love Languages of Grief

When it comes to mourning and how others can best help us, there’s no one right way. Identify and ask for the most effective grief support for you.

4/3/2018 - Alan Wolfelt
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3 Ceremonies to Heal Your Grieving Heart

Ceremonies can help people who feel stuck in their grief get unstuck and provides them with continued momentum toward healing.

12/11/2017 - Alan Wolfelt
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You Deserve to Heal

You deserve to live and love fully again. You deserve to experience meaning for the rest of your days.

10/16/2017 - Alan Wolfelt
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Companioning as a Reflection of Love

Peer mentors have the opportunity to be companions, to listen with our hearts. I hope you choose to see your heart opening to people experiencing grief.

9/19/2017 - Alan Wolfelt
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Companioning is about learning from others; it is not about teaching them

Walking with thousands of people in grief has resulted in an “educated heart” that has led to an acceptance of my role as a responsible rebel.

7/18/2016 - Alan Wolfelt
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Companioning the bereaved is about being still; it is not about frantic movement forward.

Often messages people in grief are given are in opposition to stillness. The paradox for many grievers as they try to move forward, they often lose their way.

4/11/2016 - Alan Wolfelt
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The Companioning Philosophy of Grief Care: Being Present to Pain

Companioning the bereaved is not about assessing, analyzing, fixing or resolving another’s grief. Instead, it is about being totally present to the mourner.

1/12/2016 - Alan Wolfelt
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Seek Reconciliation, Not Resolution

How do you ever find your way out of the wilderness of your grief? You don't have to dwell there forever, do you?

6/21/2015 - Alan Wolfelt
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Helping a Grandparent Who Is Grieving

This article will guide you in ways to turn your concern for the grandparents grief into positive action.

3/21/2015 - Alan Wolfelt
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Embracing the Sadness of Grief

Sadness is a hallmark symptom of grief, which in turn is the consequence of losing something we care about.

12/21/2014 - Alan Wolfelt
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The Capacity to Love

What higher purpose is there in life but to give and receive love? Love is the essence of a life of abundance and joy.

9/21/2014 - Alan Wolfelt
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Helping a Suicide Survivor Heal

As helpers, we need to provide support and acceptance so that survivors can grieve in healthy ways.

6/21/2014 - Alan Wolfelt
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Why Rituals Help Us Mourn…and Heal

Why rituals are essential and how you can continue to use the power of ritual to help yourself and your family heal, even long after the death and funeral.

3/21/2014 - Alan Wolfelt
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The Mourner's Bill of Rights

As a bereaved person, you have certain rights that others must not take away from you. In fact, it is the very upholding of these rights that makes healing possible.

12/21/2013 - Alan Wolfelt
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Love and Grief

Love is a sacred partnership of communion with another human being. You take each other in, and even when you are apart, you are together.

9/21/2013 - Alan Wolfelt
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Mustering the Courage to Mourn

In opening to the presence of the pain of your loss, in being willing to gently embrace the pain, you demonstrate the courage to honor the pain.

6/21/2013 - Alan Wolfelt
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The Critical Importance of Seeking Support

If there is ever a time in life when we need others to support and nurture us, it’s when someone we love dies.

12/21/2012 - Alan Wolfelt
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The Spiritual Path to Healing, Part 2

You have been “torn apart” and have some very unique needs. Among these needs is to nurture yourself physically, emotionally, cognitively, socially, and spiritually.

6/21/2012 - Alan Wolfelt
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The Spiritual Path to Healing, Part 1

You have been “torn apart” and have some very unique needs. Among these needs is to nurture yourself physically, emotionally, cognitively, socially, and spiritually.

3/21/2012 - Alan Wolfelt
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The Importance of Hope

And as you live in this painful place, you come to learn that you must surrender to your grief, sit in your wound, and make space for your lost self.

12/21/2011 - Alan Wolfelt
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Dispelling the Misconceptions

Misconceptions about grief are common in our society because we tend not to openly mourn or talk about grief and mourning.

9/21/2011 - Alan Wolfelt
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When Someone You Love Completes Suicide

Someone you love has completed suicide. In your heart, you have come to know your deepest pain. To be bereaved literally means to be torn apart.

6/21/2011 - Alan Wolfelt
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The Journey through Grief

Your feelings of loss will not completely disappear, yet they will soften, and the intense pangs of grief will become less frequent.

3/21/2011 - Alan Wolfelt
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Helping Yourself Heal During the Holiday Season

As you approach the holidays, remember: grief is both a necessity and a privilege. It comes as a result of giving and receiving love.

12/21/2010 - Alan Wolfelt